Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / SIGNS that your friend MIGHT BE a #NARCISSIST
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about how to tell if your friend
- 0:06is a narcissist, signs your friend might be toxic or
- 0:09narcissistic person. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:12Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
- 0:14welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:34So welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
- 0:36Yes, yes, yes. How to tell if that pesky
- 0:40person, that pesky narcissist, that pesky friend of yours, your
- 0:45BFF, is a toxic or narcissistic person?
- 0:49How in the hell can you tell lately?
- 0:51Please help us know. Like you, You talk about you
- 0:53talk about friend, you talk about your boyfriend,
- 0:56girlfriend, husband, wives. You talk about parents.
- 0:58But what about the friends? My parents are cool, my
- 1:00boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife, my spouse they
- 1:03cool. But my best friend, Yikes.
- 1:07I just, I swear up and down they might be toxic as hell.
- 1:11What I'm dealing with I'm I'm be willing to say my best friend,
- 1:14my BFF, my acquaintance, my friend through a friend is a
- 1:19narcissist or very highly toxic. How the hell do you tell?
- 1:23You know how, how, how can I tell?
- 1:25Like leave break, Please break it down for us.
- 1:27So before we break it down, make sure if you haven't already,
- 1:30check out joining one of my support groups or my taking one
- 1:33of my courses. You can find everything
- 1:35available at courses.mentalillnessmyname.net.
- 1:40Check everything out there and whatnot or you can find
- 1:43everything. My one of ones at
- 1:44mentalillness.net. Anyways.
- 1:48But like, yeah, narcissistic people, toxic people or AI ain't
- 1:51going to say or a plague or whatnot because I have
- 1:54narcissistic personality disorder that with me, I'm part
- 1:56of the plague. No, but narcissistic people,
- 2:00right, have this mindset where they want to be the best.
- 2:05They want to be viewed as the best.
- 2:07So if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, right, they
- 2:10might be your friend, they might be your BFF.
- 2:13They're almost always going to be in some type of competition
- 2:16with you. They're almost always going to
- 2:19be sane in doing questionable behaviors around you.
- 2:22Like it's hard for them to allow you to get a one to one up them.
- 2:27It's hard for them to celebrate your successes alongside of you.
- 2:31Is extremely difficult for a narcissist or a toxic person to
- 2:35just celebrate you like they should right?
- 2:38Like a like a normal friend would.
- 2:40It's extremely difficult for a toxic, abusive person to just
- 2:44celebrate you and your friendship like that.
- 2:47They celebrate your wins. If you graduate from college and
- 2:49your friend hasn't, guess what? Guess what's going to happen?
- 2:52They might not show up. They might make try to make your
- 2:55college graduation or your promotion or whatever your high
- 2:57school graduation about them. And I know that I know that
- 3:01sounds absolutely ridiculous, but this is the mind of a lot of
- 3:05narcissistic people, right? Like they want to compete with
- 3:08you. Like your your BFF that might be
- 3:11a narcissist wants to compete with you because they want to
- 3:15make you feel less than. Like can a like let me say this,
- 3:19can a narcissist possibly possibly be a good friend?
- 3:22Yeah, you might have a narcissistic friend that you
- 3:25don't have any problems with, but everybody else does.
- 3:28Like you might be a narcissist favorite person so they make you
- 3:32their friend, right? But everybody else gets treated
- 3:35horribly by this person like toxic narcissistic friends.
- 3:39They really can be a plague to your can be a plague to your
- 3:43life, to your other relationships.
- 3:45That's what happens a lot of times in these spaces, like
- 3:47you're doing these arses and they want to compete with you.
- 3:50They want to bring you down. They want to pull you down a
- 3:52notch. But some of them will just root
- 3:54for the root to hell. They they, they'll cheer louder
- 3:57than everybody else. You ever seen Tropic Thunder
- 4:00when they were talking to Tuck Speedman?
- 4:01Like when you when they cheer, you cheer harder, man.
- 4:05When they cry, you cry harder man.
- 4:08That narcissistic person, narcissistic friend is going to
- 4:11make try to make everything about them.
- 4:13Even your celebration, even your graduation, even your
- 4:16promotions, whatever it is that you are advancing in life, your
- 4:20successes, they will try to make it about them.
- 4:23That's the the ever changing mindscape of a narcissistic
- 4:27person, right? They want to make everything
- 4:29about them in some way, shape or form.
- 4:31They were oh, remember we made it this far.
- 4:34Remember we did this. Remember you did this.
- 4:35You would have never been here without me.
- 4:37This happens if you have a friend that you feel like has it
- 4:41is struggling to celebrate you or celebrate you over the top
- 4:46and just makes all makes like all the makes all the attention
- 4:50be on them. That could be a toxic
- 4:52narcissistic friend that you're dealing with, right?
- 4:54You could very well be dealing with a toxic friend and it sucks
- 4:58to say and it sucks to put out loud because it can be very
- 5:01difficult to have a friend that is toxic, a friend that is
- 5:04abusive, a friend that is narcissistic.
- 5:06Because y'all could have been. It could be.
- 5:08It could be in your life for a long time.
- 5:10A lot of people think that narcissists can only have short
- 5:13term friendships. Hell no.
- 5:15There are some nurses. They can absolutely have long
- 5:18term friendships and relationships like that.
- 5:20They absolutely can. Doesn't mean that they're going
- 5:22to be good healthy friendships or relationships, but they
- 5:25absolutely can have these long term dynamics that work out for
- 5:29them. You know, y'all families might,
- 5:31y'all might be next door neighbors, Y'all might go to the
- 5:33same school for a long last time.
- 5:35Like they can be in your life for a long time, but doesn't
- 5:37mean that they're going to treat you horribly all the time.
- 5:40It's not all going to be bad. Y'all might have fallen out like
- 5:44a narcissist. That's a friend can ghost you.
- 5:47Just like in the relationship y'all the same rules apply.
- 5:50Just like in a relationship, just like in the ear.
- 5:53They can ghost you, they will get they can ghost you.
- 5:56They can give you the silent treatment.
- 5:59They can they can rage out on you as well.
- 6:02You ever had a, a friend give you narcissistic grades?
- 6:07That's that's damn near next level.
- 6:10That's damn near next level insanity right there.
- 6:12If you're dealing with somebody and you're like, damn, this,
- 6:14this person right here, toxic as hell, but they're my friend.
- 6:16They're my best, they're my BFF. Whatever is going on here and
- 6:19it's hard for you to separate yourself from them.
- 6:22It is. I'm not trying to make it sound
- 6:24like it's easy because narcissistic people, they can
- 6:26make it very difficult to deal with them.
- 6:28They absolutely can. And that's why I was just
- 6:30telling you, like dealing with a narcissist, it's tough as it is
- 6:35anyway, but dealing with that one that's a friend that you've
- 6:38been friends with for a long ass time can be even tougher
- 6:41sometimes. Because they, like I said, they
- 6:44will make everything about them. They will compete with you.
- 6:47They will rage out on you. Like if, if you like, they'll
- 6:51give you the silent treatment and be super passive aggressive
- 6:54because you can't have it. You can't have a covert
- 6:55narcissistic friend, right? They will give you the silent
- 6:58treatment and be super passive aggressive to you, right?
- 7:03They would be super passive aggressive to you and just treat
- 7:08you horribly. And you don't know what you've
- 7:09done wrong. Imagine your friend doing this
- 7:12to you, being passive aggressive.
- 7:14You don't know what? You don't know what you've done
- 7:16wrong. And it refused to tell you.
- 7:17They'll give you this silent treatment.
- 7:19They're started. Yeah.
- 7:21Your friend can't start a smear campaign.
- 7:23Yeah, imagine having a friend that starts a damn smear
- 7:25campaign on you. What the heck?
- 7:27Like what is even that type of mindset?
- 7:29What type of mindset goes into your friend starting a smear
- 7:32campaign on you? Like lying and spreading rumors?
- 7:36A big sign of a narcissistic friend?
- 7:38It's a smear campaign that might not even be directed towards
- 7:42you, but it can be directed towards other people in your
- 7:44friend group. Like they want you to
- 7:47themselves. They like to isolate you as
- 7:50well. They want you to themselves.
- 7:51They will spread rumors about about other people to you.
- 7:55They'll spread rumors about other you to other people.
- 7:58The smear campaign like narcissistic people like drama.
- 8:02A lot of them like drama. They like controlled chaos.
- 8:04They like to be the one pulling the strings behind the behind
- 8:09the scenes and whatnot. They like to see a plan come
- 8:11together, especially that plan is that is is self-serving in
- 8:15nature. They love it see they come
- 8:16together like if you if this if you have a toxic friend, they
- 8:21might be overly interested in your partner in your
- 8:23relationship. They might try to 3rd will your
- 8:26relationship like you just got a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
- 8:29They might try to be the new They might try to be your plus
- 8:31one to every single thing. Y'all?
- 8:32Y'all got a + 1 yo you're in a relationship but you got a + 1
- 8:36and a narcissistic friend is the type of person they will date
- 8:39and or marry your ex. They are so jealous.
- 8:43They can be so jealous of you and they want your life so much
- 8:46that some of them will absolutely marry and or date
- 8:49your ex. They will and they won't feel
- 8:52bad about doing it because they feel like entitled to it.
- 8:54They have this weird sense of entitlement to your exes, to
- 8:58your ex-husband, your ex-wife to to like.
- 9:01Don't share. Don't share the fact that you
- 9:03get that you like somebody. Even if you tell them you like
- 9:05somebody, they might not even really like the person, but
- 9:09they'll go for them just because you like them because they're so
- 9:11jealous of you. They feel entitled to being in
- 9:13your space. Like they will date your
- 9:16friends, they will date your family members.
- 9:18They will do this type of stuff. They will do this, they will
- 9:22date your, they will date your, like I said, your crush.
- 9:26You know, I got a crush. I love Lee.
- 9:28Lee is, I love Lee so much. I, you know, I have a crush on
- 9:32him. And guess who dated me?
- 9:34Your your friend. Your friend is now dating me
- 9:36because they're jealous of you. They didn't even like me at
- 9:39first. They might even talk.
- 9:40Look, your narcissistic friend or your bestie might even even
- 9:44be talking trash about your crush to make you less
- 9:47interested in them. And then they go behind your
- 9:49back and snake them. And guess what happened?
- 9:51They might they might get married, they might have a long
- 9:53term relationship. They might love bomb your crush
- 9:56and bring them around you just to rub it in your face.
- 9:59And then sometimes they'll just discard them.
- 10:01And a lot of times in these friend groups, y'all, you don't
- 10:05date your friends exes. So they don't expect you to date
- 10:08through, even though you might still like them.
- 10:10You don't date your friends exes, right?
- 10:12So that that person not off the table for you, they took that
- 10:15person off the table for you. This, this happens y'all and a
- 10:18lot of y'all who've had best friends or BFFS that have been
- 10:21narcissists, y'all can attest to this as well, can't you?
- 10:23You understand exactly what I'm saying, Like, you know, the
- 10:26mindset into depravity that goes into being this toxic, being
- 10:30this narcissistic, being this horrible a person that the type
- 10:33of mindset that it takes to go into the depths to treat
- 10:36somebody in this type of way, right?
- 10:38Like they will take your crushes, they will take your
- 10:40partners, they will spread rumors and you know, try to, you
- 10:43know, try to send salacious messages to your partner or
- 10:47whatever, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your
- 10:49girlfriend, to just try to get you.
- 10:52You know, I was just testing them.
- 10:54They weren't testing them. They will sleep with your your
- 10:55partner behind your back. They will and they won't tell
- 10:59him about it. They'll just rub it in your
- 11:00face. They absolutely will rub it in
- 11:02your face and you won't even know it.
- 11:04They'll just do it. They do it because it's sinister
- 11:06in nature and they like to get away with things.
- 11:08They like to try to one up you. They like to do this like little
- 11:11sneaky stuff behind the scenes to one up you in order to feel
- 11:15better about themselves. This happens quite a bit y'all.
- 11:18So you're a narcissistic friend. Like I said, they will compete
- 11:20with you. They'll apply for the same job
- 11:22as you like if they're if your friend is your boss, they would
- 11:25just belittle you. They'll treat you horribly like
- 11:27and all of a sudden, like I said, a friend, your friend can
- 11:30love bomb you. Your friend can future fake you
- 11:33your friend. We're going to go to the same
- 11:34school, we will graduate. We're going to the same school,
- 11:36same college. We go our our daughter's going
- 11:38to grow up, be best friends. Our sons are going to play
- 11:40sports together. They can in future fake the hell
- 11:42out of you so you sell you this dream of having this long term
- 11:46great amazing friendship for the rest of your life and then
- 11:48they'll snake you with your partner.
- 11:51So be very careful. Y'all with these hocks and
- 11:52narcissistic competitive natured horrible friends and horrible
- 11:57people out here that are masquerading these narcissists
- 11:59that are masquerading as your BFS.
- 12:02Anyway y'all thank y'all for tuning in another episode.
- 12:04Y'all know I appreciate every single one day out because as
- 12:05much as y'all see y'all learn from me, I learned even more
- 12:08from you. Make sure you subscribe to the
- 12:09channel if you haven't already. Helps reach more people.
- 12:11Helps me out as well. Be safe, take care of yourselves
- 12:14and as always, mentor misses out.
- 12:16Peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 12:17to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
- 12:20have no idea. If you haven't already, make
- 12:22sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
- 12:23Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
- 12:26another video or to browse through another playlist.
- 12:28There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 12:30and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 12:33you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 12:35I will see you in the next video.
- 12:36Peace.