Latest / Earn Your Leisure / SHOULD SUCCESSFUL WOMEN MOVE DIFFERENTLY WHEN DATING?
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- 0:43Speaker 2: You've been on television for a long time, and you've
- 0:45Speaker 2: been a public figure obviously being on television for a
- 0:48Speaker 2: long time, How does that play into relationships?
- 0:55Speaker 3: Like how what you mean?
- 0:56Speaker 2: Like for women a lot of times it's it's a
- 1:00Speaker 2: little difficult or it could be different than like a man,
- 1:04Speaker 2: like when you're in a relationship, right and it's like
- 1:07Speaker 2: you got to travel or you're like uh, known and
- 1:11Speaker 2: different things that like you know, this is.
- 1:15Speaker 3: A great question. Can you give me some advice. I
- 1:16Speaker 3: need some advice. Do you think I can give me
- 1:18Speaker 3: some advice?
- 1:19Speaker 4: Got you what you need? Okay, what's the question?
- 1:22Speaker 3: I know, but first finishing what you're saying, because I
- 1:24Speaker 3: think you're I think you're asking me, how do I know?
- 1:27Speaker 4: Are you? Are you single? Oh?
- 1:30Speaker 3: Oh god, that's a great question.
- 1:33Speaker 4: Let her enjoy the holidays, my boy. Let me that's
- 1:37Speaker 4: a dirty back before the holiday because not present yet?
- 1:42Speaker 2: Right, So, like, well, if you're not all right, well,
- 1:47Speaker 2: all right regardless regardless, it's it's, it's it's. But I've
- 1:51Speaker 2: heard this from other women to like, you know that
- 1:53Speaker 2: it could be difficult sometimes or you gotta sometimes you
- 1:56Speaker 2: might have to lower your presence and moments for the
- 2:01Speaker 2: man to feel more comfortable. I'm not saying that's your situation.
- 2:03Speaker 2: I'm just saying I've heard that from other people before me.
- 2:06Speaker 2: But men don't have to deal with that. Men don't
- 2:08Speaker 2: have to worry about they're on television or you know,
- 2:13Speaker 2: they're getting too much attention, or somebody might recognize them
- 2:16Speaker 2: at dinner, right, Like, that's not something that a man
- 2:19Speaker 2: ever thinks about, But a woman who is a public
- 2:23Speaker 2: figure might have to consider that when the dynamics of
- 2:28Speaker 2: the relationship might have some level of, you know, in balance.
- 2:32Speaker 3: Okay, this is great, and so I think I'm going
- 2:35Speaker 3: to tell you what I think about that. I've never
- 2:39Speaker 3: I mean, I'm aware of it, and I think the
- 2:41Speaker 3: men that I'm attracted to are the men that I've
- 2:43Speaker 3: dated and been with in the past. I don't think
- 2:45Speaker 3: that's an issue for them, at least they've never made
- 2:51Speaker 3: it seem as if it's an issue. They seek confident, comfortable,
- 2:54Speaker 3: got their own, So I don't think that being in
- 3:00Speaker 3: the public eye made them feel a way. At least
- 3:02Speaker 3: that's how they've all made me believe. But it probably
- 3:06Speaker 3: manifests in ways that I haven't really acknowledged. I often
- 3:11Speaker 3: wonder and I and I, because there's always a story
- 3:16Speaker 3: about what kind of minute day I date black man?
- 3:18Speaker 3: Is there on the internet they'll tell you only date
- 3:19Speaker 3: white man. I don't know why where that came from,
- 3:21Speaker 3: Maybe me back in the day being silly when I
- 3:24Speaker 3: was at ESPN joking around with Jamail, we say silly
- 3:26Speaker 3: things or weld TikTok, and then the Internet run with
- 3:30Speaker 3: it and it's like, Okay, shortly, day's white man. That's
- 3:31Speaker 3: just not true. But I think it is hard to
- 3:37Speaker 3: date as a woman who is in the public eye
- 3:41Speaker 3: if you're with somebody who doesn't understand that sometimes networking
- 3:46Speaker 3: might look like flirting meeting. I could be at an event.
- 3:51Speaker 3: I went to a Beyonce concert and I see a
- 3:56Speaker 3: bunch of people that I know, and I'm I'm networking,
- 3:58Speaker 3: I'm talking and yeah, we should do this. I think
- 4:00Speaker 3: that'd be great. We laugh and we're joking. We're all
- 4:03Speaker 3: having drinks. Now, the person I could have been with
- 4:06Speaker 3: could have felt a way about that. If you're looking,
- 4:09Speaker 3: you're like, I don't know what this is. I do
- 4:12Speaker 3: find that that is uncomfortable. And I'm taking notes right
- 4:17Speaker 3: because I don't If you want somebody, you don't want
- 4:20Speaker 3: them to feel uncomfortable. You want them to be good.
- 4:22Speaker 3: But I don't think that taking notes looks like me
- 4:26Speaker 3: dimming my life. I would never want to be with
- 4:28Speaker 3: anybody who wants me to do I wouldn't want to
- 4:31Speaker 3: be with anyone who can't give me a compliment, who
- 4:35Speaker 3: can't tell me I look good because they think three
- 4:39Speaker 3: thousand men on Twitter told me that today, so they
- 4:41Speaker 3: don't want to tell me. So I try to date
- 4:46Speaker 3: and make men feel safe when I fine.
- 4:48Speaker 4: You know I'm not.
- 4:50Speaker 3: I don't have a bunch of relationships. When I am
- 4:52Speaker 3: in one, I try to make you feel good. I
- 4:54Speaker 3: try to make you feel comfortable, secure, all the things
- 4:57Speaker 3: as I would want you to do for me as well.
- 5:00Speaker 3: Here's the thing that I'm going to.
- 5:01Speaker 4: Ask you about.
- 5:02Speaker 3: I'm curious, and I don't know if y'all notice it.
- 5:05Speaker 3: Whether you're married or single, or whatever your case may be,
- 5:08Speaker 3: there's something going on. And y'all know you've had this
- 5:11Speaker 3: debate over and over again with black men and black
- 5:13Speaker 3: women where I think we are constantly talking about what
- 5:18Speaker 3: when one group does versus the other group. And that's
- 5:22Speaker 3: why we're in this space where we're constantly knocking heads,
- 5:25Speaker 3: like don't I don't understand that now Now I'm so confused.
- 5:28Speaker 3: So I was sitting down and my friend walked up.
- 5:32Speaker 3: Too many goes. You're on your phone and you're sitting
- 5:34Speaker 3: at a bar. You don't even look like you want
- 5:36Speaker 3: to talk to a dude. If I saw a dude.
- 5:37Speaker 3: If I was a dude and I want to walk
- 5:38Speaker 3: up to you, I wouldn't talk to you because you
- 5:39Speaker 3: don't seem open enough. You seem like you mean, you
- 5:42Speaker 3: seem like you don't have time. But I'm just responding
- 5:46Speaker 3: to a text like ten other people are, right, what's
- 5:50Speaker 3: going on with that? Like that's the question I have,
- 5:52Speaker 3: do y'all since that at all? Like there's just this beef,
- 5:56Speaker 3: this unwritten it just gets toxic and it gets uncomfortable.
- 6:02Speaker 3: And I'm not blaming Kevin Samuels because everybody loves him.
- 6:08Speaker 3: I'm blaming him, But I also know that maybe perhaps
- 6:13Speaker 3: there is some blame to be to be there, you
- 6:15Speaker 3: know what I mean. I don't know, so I'm asking you.
- 6:17Speaker 2: I think I think it's it's it's a it's a
- 6:19Speaker 2: good question, and I think it's deep rooted. I hate
- 6:21Speaker 2: to be the conspiracy theory god, but I do think
- 6:23Speaker 2: that there is some level of outside influence that has
- 6:27Speaker 2: that has helped push that agenda to divide and conquer strategy.
- 6:30Speaker 2: But I also think that it speaks to a breakdown
- 6:34Speaker 2: and just the culture of American culture overall. Like I
- 6:38Speaker 2: feel like, you know, we do a lot of traveling,
- 6:39Speaker 2: and you know, I'm overseas a lot these days, and
- 6:43Speaker 2: the cultural norms and cultural standards that other countries have
- 6:47Speaker 2: Americans don't have, and that's something that's not talked about enough,
- 6:51Speaker 2: and I think that that definitely plays a major part
- 6:54Speaker 2: in the relationship dynamics between men and women because it
- 6:58Speaker 2: becomes a battle. Right, So now a woman easily can
- 7:03Speaker 2: disrespect the man, a man can easily disrespect the woman.
- 7:07Speaker 2: And then you throw some gasoline on the fire, you
- 7:09Speaker 2: see a viral clip go, and then before you know it,
- 7:11Speaker 2: it's just a constant No, I'm not paying for this, Why.
- 7:14Speaker 4: Would you do this thing?
- 7:15Speaker 2: You should be like, you know, it's just like a constant,
- 7:17Speaker 2: just toxic thing. So I feel like that's a real, real,
- 7:20Speaker 2: like just deep rooted. But I also feel like it
- 7:22Speaker 2: is rooted in pain because a lot of times, you know,
- 7:26Speaker 2: there is truths to like they say there's truth in
- 7:30Speaker 2: every joke, Like there's truth in every troll. So it's like,
- 7:33Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of pain because, yeah, I
- 7:36Speaker 2: used to be a financial advisor, so I have first
- 7:38Speaker 2: hand information on this, Like most of my clients were
- 7:41Speaker 2: black women, and that's when I realized that black women
- 7:43Speaker 2: was making a lot more money than a lot of
- 7:46Speaker 2: black men. That's a real thing, but that definitely causes
- 7:50Speaker 2: issues in a relationship when you're frustrated because you're not
- 7:53Speaker 2: able to earn enough money to take care of your family.
- 7:55Speaker 2: Somebody's making more money, they gonna feel more empowered. Let's
- 7:59Speaker 2: just be honest. If a woman is making more money
- 8:00Speaker 2: than a man, she's going to fill on a certain
- 8:02Speaker 2: level more in powered. Nine times out of ten, it's
- 8:04Speaker 2: going to be a different conversation. It's gonna be different
- 8:06Speaker 2: things that happen in that relationship. So there's underlying things
- 8:11Speaker 2: that I think caused all of these issues. But I
- 8:14Speaker 2: also feel like it's just not deep rooted in culture
- 8:17Speaker 2: as far as like cultural standards, cultural norms. You know,
- 8:20Speaker 2: certain boundaries that other countries, other cultures have established that
- 8:25Speaker 2: we don't have established, and it's just like running them up.
- 8:29Speaker 4: But to your point, rest in peace to the Godfather.
- 8:33Speaker 4: He brought a lot of us to the table.
- 8:34Speaker 5: And then it became an inflection point because most people
- 8:37Speaker 5: aren't having these coming like when I'm outside of dinner.
- 8:40Speaker 4: This is not a talking point.
- 8:42Speaker 5: And the other part that has to be said about man,
- 8:45Speaker 5: y'all have to quit being so fucking scared whether she
- 8:49Speaker 5: mean or not, whether you got motion or not to
- 8:52Speaker 5: a future shot.
- 8:53Speaker 2: But no, but this goes back to the thing what
- 8:55Speaker 2: we're saying before that most people can't afford to get married.
- 8:58Speaker 2: So there's a lot of this is an economic issue
- 9:00Speaker 2: with this whole red pill community was birthed out of
- 9:02Speaker 2: people that's frustrated with this people.
- 9:04Speaker 4: It's just like racism.
- 9:05Speaker 2: When people are angry about this situation, they projected on
- 9:08Speaker 2: other people. So this whole anti woman movement that we've
- 9:12Speaker 2: seen with a lot of like people online, like you said,
- 9:14Speaker 2: a lot of stuff you don't even see in the
- 9:16Speaker 2: real world, like real I think what I call it,
- 9:19Speaker 2: this is the vocal minority. Things on social media get
- 9:22Speaker 2: amplified and it seems bigger than what it really is.
- 9:26Speaker 2: But I've never seen somebody have a fifty fifty debate
- 9:28Speaker 2: in person. I've never in life. I never in my life.
- 9:32Speaker 2: They might have had it behind closed doors, but I've
- 9:34Speaker 2: never in my life been at a restaurant and seen people.
- 9:37Speaker 2: I've never in my life seen a man tell a
- 9:38Speaker 2: woman pay the bill at a restaurant. I've never been in life,
- 9:41Speaker 2: and I've probably been to at least three thousand dinners
- 9:43Speaker 2: in my life. I've never seen these hypothetical questions that
- 9:47Speaker 2: permeonate on social media I've never seen in reality, But
- 9:50Speaker 2: like I said, hurt people. Hurt people when when you
- 9:54Speaker 2: really don't have enough confidence and you really don't have
- 9:56Speaker 2: enough money and you like then you're not gonna want
- 10:00Speaker 2: to talk to a woman because you don't even feel
- 10:03Speaker 2: confident in yourself.
- 10:06Speaker 4: Erners, what's up?
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