Latest / DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl Thomas / Should You Should You Fight for Love? | DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl Thomas

Transcript

Should You Should You Fight for Love? | DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl Thomas · DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl Thomas

• 0:16
  Hey, this is DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl
• 0:20
  Thomas for 12 noon Eastern time, Friday, September
• 0:24
  18th, 2026. Thank you for joining us. This is,
• 0:28
  of course, the Q&A show, which means we take
• 0:30
  your questions and answer them and also your
• 0:35
  comments, whatever you have to say or want to
• 0:39
  talk about. We're here for you. Thanks so much
• 0:42
  for tuning in. Starting next week, guys, we're
• 0:45
  going to have some new hours. So let me sort
• 0:47
  of break that down for you. So basically think
• 0:51
  of it this way. Monday through Friday, we're
• 0:53
  always here 9 to 10 no matter what. Monday, Wednesday,
• 0:55
  Friday, we also go from 10 to 11. So another
• 1:01
  way to think about it is Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
• 1:03
  9 to 11 a.m. Eastern, and Tuesday and Thursday.
• 1:08
  We go from 9 to 10, and TMI comes on at 10 o'
• 1:12
  clock. DMZ stays at the same time, Fridays at
• 1:15
  11. So we're making that as confusing as possible
• 1:20
  because why not? It's just Monday, Wednesday,
• 1:23
  Friday, 9 to 11. Pardon? Yeah. Well, then that
• 1:29
  might happen, but that would be if TMI screws
• 1:33
  up. Wait, I'm sorry. I said that wrong. Jesus.
• 1:35
  I said that wrong. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
• 1:39
  It's from 9 to 11. That's correct. Yeah. Jesus,
• 1:44
  I was like, oh, it's easy. It's kind of
• 1:47
  easy. Is
• 1:51
  it really that easy? I think so. Monday, Wednesday,
• 1:55
  Friday, 9 to 11. If somebody shows up and they're
• 1:58
  there, we just go all the way to 11. If they
• 1:59
  show up on some days, we go 9 to 10. That's it.
• 2:03
  If TMI happens on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10,
• 2:05
  as it's supposed to. But yeah, sometimes Manila
• 2:08
  craps out. So we could go on those days. We could
• 2:12
  just do it. That's what we should do. Does Manila
• 2:15
  not like me now? Did I do something to Manila?
• 2:17
  I don't know. No, no, no. Manila, definitely
• 2:18
  not. Not as far as I know. So my, okay, nobody
• 2:22
  knows this. I've always said my ex
• 2:26
  is the only one I've talked to beyond our relationship.
• 2:30
  And that was always complicated, just because
• 2:32
  it made a tendency to fall into stuff like we're
• 2:35
  in a relationship. So it always made it complicated.
• 2:38
  Believe it or not, it's that part that I like
• 2:40
  the most about her. And that part, kind of like
• 2:42
  we were talking about Trump, changed things going
• 2:44
  forward. It was that that changed things going
• 2:47
  forward. Because I realized that all of these
• 2:49
  people that I used to get who were more like
• 2:51
  me, they were more career-oriented, those type
• 2:54
  of things, that is not necessarily the right
• 2:57
  person for me. And it's... It's just because
• 3:00
  what you want is not always good for you. It's
• 3:02
  kind of that. When I met her, it was like,
• 3:04
  whoa, she's emotional. It just became that, right?
• 3:09
  And that is a power, especially if you're not
• 3:11
  used to that. And it's kind of like, oh, right.
• 3:15
  This hits something in me that wasn't necessarily
• 3:19
  there for the other people. And it makes me deal
• 3:22
  with her in a way that is different than I dealt
• 3:23
  with my other people. Now, it's not always well.
• 3:26
  And oftentimes there are arguments, but the fights
• 3:29
  are often internal. It's like, we're fighting
• 3:31
  for love. It's not like you're fighting about
• 3:33
  other random shit. Fighting for love is a thing.
• 3:39
  Oh, God. But do you believe in fighting for the
• 3:43
  relationship? I've had... I had a...
• 3:47
  I don't know if I would call her a girlfriend.
• 3:49
  I guess we were sort of a non-exclusive girlfriend,
• 3:53
  I would say. And so she... She goes away for
• 3:57
  the weekend to Philadelphia. She comes home and
• 4:00
  she says, oh, I'm like, what happened? She goes,
• 4:03
  well, I got to tell you over the weekend. And
• 4:04
  she didn't have to tell me. I didn't really want
• 4:06
  to know. But she said, over the weekend, I had
• 4:09
  sex with my old boyfriend. And now, full transparency,
• 4:14
  I was having sex with someone else
• 4:16
  too that weekend. So I'm like... Oh, wait, wait,
• 4:20
  wait, wait. Did you say you were having sex with
• 4:24
  someone also that weekend, the same weekend?
• 4:26
  Well, she was away. Yeah, we were both having
• 4:28
  sex with other people. Okay, keep going. But
• 4:29
  it was totally like, okay, we had that conversation.
• 4:32
  It was on the up and up. And so she told
• 4:35
  me this and she's like, so how do you feel about
• 4:40
  that? I'm like, I'm all right. And she's like,
• 4:43
  she was mad at me for being not jealous. And
• 4:47
  she was like, I need a guy. She ultimately broke
• 4:50
  up with me because she, quote unquote, cheated
• 4:53
  on me because I wasn't angry about it. And she
• 4:56
  felt that I didn't care about her enough to want
• 4:59
  to fight for the relationship. And she would
• 5:02
  basically, then I had another girlfriend, she
• 5:04
  would basically start fights with me. And she's
• 5:06
  like, no, but the makeup sex is so good. I like
• 5:09
  to make, I like to get to, I like
• 5:12
  to have a fight and then get back together. I'm
• 5:15
  like, I'm just not that bored in my
• 5:18
  life. There's so many good
• 5:21
  movies. There's good TV shows. There's good books.
• 5:25
  There's concerts to see. No, I just don't
• 5:28
  need this level of entertainment. It just depends.
• 5:31
  It depends on what you're fighting about.
• 5:32
  It has to be real. It shouldn't be made up.
• 5:35
  What it sounds like, that she just enjoyed basically
• 5:38
  rough sex after. Yeah. That's true. It's like...
• 5:45
  Tell me how bad I've been. You've been a bad
• 5:47
  girl. Yeah, well, she was actually the dominating
• 5:50
  one. Yeah. She was the only woman I ever met
• 5:54
  who paid for porn. Did she? Yeah. She paid for
• 5:59
  some site called Extreme Face Sitting. Extreme
• 6:04
  Face Sitting. Now, what's so funny about this
• 6:08
  is, I'm 6 ft 2. She was 5 ft even, dripping
• 6:11
  wet. And there was something very, very funny
• 6:14
  about the fact that she wanted to be, it's kind
• 6:18
  of like, okay, little one, you be the dominant
• 6:21
  one. Oh, she wanted to be the face sitter. She
• 6:23
  liked it. I'm like, hey, if she wanted to sit
• 6:28
  on my face, come on over. I know, but
• 6:32
  not just sit on your foot, but extreme. That
• 6:35
  didn't manifest in any meaningful way. It wasn't
• 6:38
  any different from normal face
• 6:41
  sitting. It was all in your mind. I love it.
• 6:44
  Extreme. I love it. And I was kind of like, are
• 6:46
  you suffocating the guy? What's going on?
• 6:50
  I came in the worst possible time. Oh, that is
• 6:54
  great. Well, now you'll know if you see something
• 6:58
  called Extreme Face Sitting on Kizzy's computer.
• 7:01
  You'll know what it is. I'm glad to hear that.
• 7:04
  Yeah, I was on a call, so I ended up,
• 7:09
  I was a couple minutes late getting on. And then
• 7:12
  I just pop in about this very small lady trying
• 7:18
  to suffocate you with her vagina. Her vagina,
• 7:21
  right. Well, of all the ways to be suffocated,
• 7:24
  that's one of the better ones. That's not the
• 7:26
  worst ways. It's like, how did she die? Well,
• 7:29
  she was sitting on my face. Right. It's kind
• 7:32
  of like if I had died. I would want people to
• 7:37
  say, well, he died doing what he loved.
• 7:40
  He died doing what he loved. Right. This was
• 7:44
  not a bad death. People die all sorts
• 7:46
  of ways, right? They die in trenches. They die
• 7:48
  in the toilet. They die in hospitals. Yeah. Bad
• 7:51
  way. Definitely. It's like they suffocated him
• 7:54
  to death. Did he seem happy? He had a smile on
• 7:57
  his face. He was thrilled the entire time. He
• 7:59
  was thrilled. He was a happy guy. He was thrilled.
• 8:04
  I do believe in fighting for love, depending
• 8:06
  upon what it is. If you cheat on me, no, that's
• 8:08
  not fighting for love. But if we are, look, I
• 8:11
  would tell you, this sounds very, I don't know
• 8:15
  if you guys ever watched Supernatural, where
• 8:16
  Castiel, when he comes, he says, I raised you
• 8:19
  from perdition. And there's this hand on Dean
• 8:21
  where Castiel dragged Dean out of hell. Elizabeth
• 8:24
  was kind of like that for me in a weird sense.
• 8:27
  I would never tell her that, but it's kind of
• 8:29
  true. When I met her, it was after the divorce
• 8:31
  and I was alive. I just felt alive. And there
• 8:37
  was this, I'm very good at being object-oriented.
• 8:40
  I'm very bad when there's not an object in mind.
• 8:43
  Meaning if it's something I'm trying to work
• 8:44
  towards, I'm great. Because the amount of energy
• 8:47
  I put into it becomes ridiculous. If there is
• 8:49
  no point, though, I lose the thread. And with
• 8:52
  her, I gained the thread. It was, I have an objective.
• 8:54
  We're going to be together. We're going to make
• 8:56
  this work. I'm either going to bring her to the
• 8:57
  United States. And for a good year and a
• 9:00
  half, it was that. And it was this huge amount
• 9:03
  of energy into it. I'm going to meet her in the
• 9:05
  summers. We're going to meet in winters. We're
• 9:07
  going to hang out multiple times a year. I'm
• 9:10
  going to bring her here. She's going to be here
• 9:11
  for this time. And for that time period, it was
• 9:14
  the mindset of you're fighting for love. You're
• 9:16
  doing all of this stuff for love. You want to
• 9:18
  make this work in real tangible terms. And yeah,
• 9:22
  my emotions go through the roof. It's this
• 9:24
  kind of everything else is subordinate
• 9:27
  to the objective. And then when that hits the...
• 9:30
  skids for whatever particular reason. It's just
• 9:32
  devastating. It's just devastating.
• 9:37
  It didn't happen in the relationship. Because it
• 9:39
  means you lost the war. You said it again? You
• 9:42
  said what? Right. Because you lost the war. We
• 9:45
  lost the war. But that's what it felt like. You
• 9:48
  were fighting for love. It wasn't like you were
• 9:50
  fighting over stupid stuff. There were times
• 9:51
  because of her emotional, I don't want to say
• 9:55
  that in a poor way, but there was insecurity
• 9:58
  issues that were very difficult to get around
• 10:02
  and those were very frustrating because for me
• 10:04
  it felt like dude do you think I'm doing all
• 10:07
  of this just to be doing all of this meaning
• 10:10
  this is not me just doing this just to do it
• 10:13
  it is me doing this because I'm trying to make
• 10:15
  it us to be together and to be honest she even
• 10:19
  had a point though when she was like dude you
• 10:21
  when I was traveling for example her thing was
• 10:23
  like you're not in the U.S. you're untethered and
• 10:26
  by the way a psychic even said not a psychic
• 10:28
  an astrologer a German astrologer that heard
• 10:30
  I went to years before the relationship was like
• 10:33
  in a few years this would be the opportunity
• 10:35
  for you guys to get together it's like okay now
• 10:38
  hey she didn't speak English so I don't know
• 10:39
  what she was saying the thing that was
• 10:42
  explained very clearly was in a couple of years
• 10:46
  the opportunity will be there now Elizabeth hears
• 10:49
  this and of course in a couple of years and I'm
• 10:53
  untangled from the United States and I'm like
• 10:54
  in Austria Albania which is like an
• 10:58
  hour and a half by flight And then it's like,
• 11:00
  you're in Malaysia, you're in all this. Her thing
• 11:01
  is, you're not in the U.S. anymore. What's your
• 11:03
  excuse? She has a point. She did have a point.
• 11:07
  And what was the reason? It was fucking expensive.
• 11:11
  And again, when I have an objective in mind,
• 11:14
  the objective, everything is subordinate to the
• 11:15
  objective. The objective at that point was, I
• 11:18
  need to save money and I need to make as much
• 11:20
  money as I can while I'm traveling because I
• 11:23
  need to save cash, especially after the company
• 11:25
  went belly up. And it's like, so focus on the
• 11:27
  channel and build up the money that you can't
• 11:30
  meaning everything is savings when you're going
• 11:32
  to places you're going to places because you're
• 11:33
  trying to save money not because you're right
• 11:35
  that's job one yeah that's job one she didn't
• 11:38
  understand that from her point of view it's you
• 11:41
  care more about money than you do about me but
• 11:43
  this is what I mean when I say fighting
• 11:45
  for love you're having arguments about things
• 11:49
  that matter because you care about each other
• 11:52
  and you want to make it work and it's just not
• 11:54
  working it's like for whatever particular reality-
• 11:57
  based reason, you're running at odds with reality
• 12:00
  constantly, regardless of what the fuck is going
• 12:02
  on. And in our case, it was kind of that.
• 12:05
  She had a point. But the thing is, in my mind,
• 12:08
  it was save as much money as possible. What is
• 12:11
  it possible to get to Hungary? I don't know.
• 12:14
  The reality of it is anywhere I went,
• 12:16
  I would have had to pay for treatments. And the
• 12:18
  entire point of going to Malaysia, Albania,
• 12:20
  et cetera, was because I was able to find places
• 12:22
  where rent was like $300, $400. And treatments
• 12:25
  were less than what I would be paying in the
• 12:27
  United States for the combination of rent and
• 12:29
  insurance. And so it made it viable. In fact,
• 12:32
  it made it not just viable, it made it profitable
• 12:34
  in a weird way. If I would have had to do, let's
• 12:37
  say, Hungary, I would have been paying more for
• 12:38
  treatments. My treatments would have went to
• 12:39
  $150 as opposed to $90. And the amount of treatments,
• 12:45
  I probably would have gotten two per week, which
• 12:47
  brings the price up to more than what I wanted
• 12:50
  to effectively pay. Wait, wait, was your girlfriend
• 12:53
  willing to subsidize you? She couldn't subsidize
• 12:57
  me. Impossible. Okay. I got that level of focus
• 13:02
  too. I drove a cab in New York for eight years
• 13:05
  and I was young and better, much better
• 13:07
  looking than I am now, I think. And I got hit
• 13:10
  on all the time. And I remember just like, be
• 13:12
  like, oh, come over to my house and have sex
• 13:14
  with me. Be like, I'm not here to you I'm here
• 13:17
  to I'm here to drive a cab and make as much money
• 13:20
  as I can. It's like yeah but I'm cute you're
• 13:24
  totally cute and when I'm not driving a cab we
• 13:27
  can have sex but right now yeah it's like no
• 13:31
  and it's like you don't like sex no I love sex
• 13:34
  but no yeah she didn't she didn't get it
• 13:37
  my thing was like dude there's no safety
• 13:39
  net you're in Austria You have a safety net.
• 13:43
  You don't have the financial pressures that I
• 13:45
  have, even though you may have them. They're
• 13:46
  not the same that I have at my disposal. I could
• 13:48
  get sick at any moment. For fuck's sake, I could
• 13:49
  drop dead tomorrow. That's the way I look at
• 13:51
  it. And even that was a disparity between the
• 13:54
  way that her and I looked at the world. I looked
• 13:56
  at the world in very immediate terms. Like, I
• 14:00
  could drop dead tomorrow. That's the way I look
• 14:03
  at it. That's true. Well, it is true in a probabilistic
• 14:08
  sense but obviously there's balance I
• 14:11
  should introduce Scott Stantis I have no idea
• 14:19
  what I'm listening to Jamarl's talking about subsidizing
• 14:23
  somebody and Ted's talking about screwing somebody
• 14:25
  in a cab not screwing anybody so yeah you
• 14:30
  missed the Extreme Face Sitting part you missed
• 14:32
  that I came into the tail end of it. So it was
• 14:39
  kind of a strange place to come in, but I've
• 14:42
  got to say that this is wild. Three of my favorite
• 14:45
  people are right here. And I don't know. And
• 14:48
  I don't know why the hell the three of y'all
• 14:50
  are friends with a hick like me. I will never
• 14:53
  understand it yet. Here we are. Well, That could
• 14:58
  be your Q&A. But just to introduce everyone,
• 15:01
  in case you don't know, although I don't know
• 15:03
  at this point why you would not know Scott Stantis,
• 15:06
  but Scott Stantis is the editorial cartoonist
• 15:08
  for the Chicago Tribune, the creator of the comic
• 15:11
  strip Prickly City, my co-host on the DMZ America
• 15:16
  podcast, which airs Fridays, Eastern Time, 11
• 15:19
  a.m. And we just wrapped up and we invited Scott,
• 15:23
  if you wanted to pop over and here
• 15:25
  he is. Okay. Hey guys. No, I was, yeah, because
• 15:29
  at the end of our show, Ted and Jamarl was kind
• 15:35
  enough to join us is, my wife, I didn't
• 15:38
  have, I didn't have the on-air sign outside my
• 15:40
  office flashing. So she stuck her head in and
• 15:42
  then she stuck her head and gave me a look. I
• 15:44
  went, Oh, And it turns out that she was just
• 15:49
  shocked that I was on. She had forgotten that
• 15:51
  I was doing the podcast. And to be fair, Ted
• 15:54
  and I have been doing the podcast for what? 12
• 15:56
  years now, so I can understand her confusion.
• 16:01
  True, true. But I didn't say it that way because
• 16:04
  we're celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary
• 16:06
  this next month. And you'd like to make it to
• 16:08
  46, yeah. I would. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's more
• 16:12
  congratulations to her. She put up with living
• 16:14
  with an artist for 45 years, which cannot
• 16:17
  be. True, that's no joke. No, it's true. God,
• 16:20
  it's just weird living with me. I can't even,
• 16:22
  I have to. but she doesn't and it's kind of a
• 16:26
  miracle I'm grateful I really truly am she's
• 16:29
  pretty great and she loves Ted so
• 16:32
  she has bad taste we already know that well
• 16:34
  yeah when the apocalypse comes
• 16:37
  yeah God's gonna go what were you thinking him
• 16:40
  no but she she's pretty great so yeah 45 so
• 16:46
  okay I don't want to revisit this but why Ted's
• 16:49
  talking about having sex in cabs or
• 16:51
  not what's the topic well making the point
• 16:56
  about fighting for love and do we believe
• 16:59
  in that stuff and I've made a point of saying
• 17:01
  I have a tendency to focus on the
• 17:04
  objective and if the objective is hey I need
• 17:07
  to maximize my profit because the job is over
• 17:09
  with I need to build my comp basically I need
• 17:12
  to grow my channel and I need to save money then
• 17:14
  everything else is going to be supported and
• 17:16
  I was making the point about in a relationship
• 17:17
  there was this contradiction this very big
• 17:22
  disagreement around that particular issue and
• 17:25
  about whether or not I could have moved to be
• 17:27
  closer to her as opposed to trying to minimize
• 17:30
  or maximize profit and I gotta be honest I don't
• 17:33
  know if I would have eaten my Wheaties and was
• 17:38
  like you know what yeah I'm in Albania right
• 17:40
  now especially by the time I got to Malaysia
• 17:43
  and Azerbaijan by the time I got to Azerbaijan
• 17:46
  there was money in the bank I had more leeway
• 17:49
  there was more distance could I have focused
• 17:53
  my energies on getting into somewhere like Hungary
• 17:55
  or somewhere close I don't know I think how old
• 18:00
  were you when this was happening last year So
• 18:14
  it wasn't like you were 20-something and you
• 18:16
  had to make this decision? No, I was 29 now.
• 18:18
  I just had a birthday August 31st. I was 48 when
• 18:21
  all of this was happening, when I was jumping
• 18:23
  around the world. In fact, I got to be honest
• 18:25
  with you, when the company died, I thought, well,
• 18:28
  I can die happily now. All of my travel is over
• 18:32
  with. My life is, I could just go into
• 18:36
  that good night. And then next thing you know,
• 18:38
  it's like I'm going to Albania. Who hasn't been
• 18:42
  through that? for a year no man I went to
• 18:48
  Albania I was in Albania for two months I
• 18:51
  was in Malaysia for three I was in Indonesia
• 18:55
  for two wow Nepal for about two Nepal broke
• 18:59
  me so I left early I couldn't take it I'm sorry
• 19:02
  I ended up going into Azerbaijan I loved Azerbaijan
• 19:06
  I couldn't stay there but then I got sick
• 19:09
  and fell back into the U.S. it's gotta have the
• 19:11
  cheapest metro in the world how much oh the metro
• 19:15
  in Baku when I went is it it was the campus
• 19:20
  it was like it took the I still have one of the
• 19:22
  tokens it was like a little blue plastic token
• 19:25
  like the size of half the size of a dime and
• 19:29
  it was like something like six cents or something
• 19:33
  it's like it's Europe but cheaper it's great
• 19:36
  I loved Azerbaijan And when I found the chess club,
• 19:41
  I was hooked. I would have married that woman.
• 19:43
  I would have married her on the spot. Is that
• 19:46
  your Beijing? Is that the big basket of Central
• 19:49
  Asia, Ted? No, that's Kazakhstan. Okay. That's
• 19:53
  where I want to go. It's like Armenia. It's like
• 19:56
  the underside of Russia. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah,
• 20:02
  he's referring to something. We've talked about
• 20:04
  how the hottest chicks in Central Asia are in
• 20:08
  Kazakhstan. It's like this jet-black hair, which
• 20:12
  just works. Long legs. Yeah, it just works. It's
• 20:18
  actually a woman who can play chess. Skinny yet
• 20:19
  curvy, like what? And they play chess? They play
• 20:23
  chess. So the woman that I met, I went to a chess
• 20:26
  club in Baku. Her brother was the second strongest
• 20:29
  in the world. She herself was at least 2300,
• 20:33
  I suppose. Oh, man. She was strong. She was master
• 20:37
  level. God, I love that game. Like we had two
• 20:42
  games. Was it two games or one game? The second
• 20:45
  game was very close. Oh, really? So what's your
• 20:49
  score? Do you have one or are you? Well, in the
• 20:51
  U.S., my highest rating was 2032. I think I'm at
• 20:54
  1960 now. I haven't played, but the reason is
• 20:59
  I went to a tournament after not playing for
• 21:00
  like a decade. I got crushed. And so my rating
• 21:04
  dropped. But I can still hold my own, right?
• 21:07
  And that game with her, I think give it two weeks,
• 21:12
  she'd lose. It's just, it's like when you haven't
• 21:17
  played for a long time, you don't have that faculty,
• 21:20
  just you lose certain things. Like this ability
• 21:23
  to throw a piece and it lands on the right spot,
• 21:25
  that goes away. When you haven't played in a
• 21:27
  while, you gotta figure it out. It's not
• 21:29
  just this magical thing, this piece lands
• 21:32
  on the right spot. And it's like, God, he sees
• 21:34
  everything. Okay, that was true in my 30s. When
• 21:38
  you stop playing competitive chess for a decade,
• 21:40
  then yeah, you lose it. But I can still hold
• 21:43
  my own with her. And I can still hold my own
• 21:45
  with most of the people I've played around the
• 21:46
  world. The people in Indonesia, they were very
• 21:49
  strong. Most of them lost. The ones in Malaysia
• 21:53
  got crushed. The ones in Malaysia got crushed.
• 21:58
  But yeah, I kicked ass all around the world when
• 22:01
  I went. I just show up in random places. Like,
• 22:03
  oh, here's a bar. People play chess. Would you
• 22:06
  like to play? Yes, I would like to play. Don't
• 22:08
  speak a lick of English. And all of them are
• 22:09
  looking at each other like, whoa, he's kicking
• 22:10
  our ass. Okay, how about Bob? Can Bob come in
• 22:13
  and take a nap? Oh, it was so much fun. It was
• 22:16
  so much fun. But no, she was great. She was strong.
• 22:19
  I'm going to have to come and see you sometime
• 22:21
  because my chess game, as Ted will attest, Ted,
• 22:24
  we were at a convention. Okay, this holds together.
• 22:28
  Trust me. Alcohol may or may not have been involved,
• 22:31
  but Ted said, let's go get a haircut for some
• 22:34
  reason. Probably because my hair was long. And
• 22:38
  like a moron, I said, okay. And we ended up at
• 22:45
  a barbershop. Do you remember, Ted? And they
• 22:46
  had chess sets. It was awesome. While you were
• 22:48
  waiting for your haircut, you played chess. It
• 22:51
  was a total hipster barbershop with board games.
• 22:55
  It was beautiful. I had Ted in trouble and he
• 22:59
  got out on one game and the other two games,
• 23:02
  he kicked my ass. So have you ever played Ted?
• 23:06
  No, we haven't. We haven't had the pleasure yet.
• 23:09
  I'm on chess.com all the time. I even play
• 23:11
  chess online all the time. I have plenty of videos
• 23:13
  where I'm just playing chess and the audience
• 23:15
  is hanging out. I've never played online. I've
• 23:16
  only played IRL. I learned from my very cruel
• 23:20
  father who is now 98 years old, but my father
• 23:23
  was like, He didn't believe in being soft on
• 23:27
  kids. So he taught me and he never let me. He
• 23:31
  never gave me any chance. He didn't let me win
• 23:34
  ever. And I remember what was interesting is
• 23:39
  the first time I beat him, he was upset. He should
• 23:43
  have won. I would have been upset too. The first
• 23:46
  time I beat my... We had the same dad in a lot
• 23:48
  of ways because my dad would not let me win.
• 23:51
  So I just got better, older, more experienced.
• 23:53
  Yeah, no, that is correct. I finally beat him.
• 23:57
  I finally beat him. And it was the last time
• 23:58
  we played. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that
• 24:02
  might have been the case with my dad, too. There
• 24:04
  is this video with my ex. Again, another one
• 24:08
  with my ex-girlfriend and I bump heads. Not
• 24:10
  entirely, but I just thought the shit was funny.
• 24:11
  I don't think she did. Karpov. Karpov is a famous
• 24:14
  grandmaster. Karpov played this kid who was,
• 24:18
  I don't know, six years old. Now the kid didn't
• 24:21
  know he was going to be playing Karpov. They
• 24:22
  brought the kid on stage in this big event
• 24:24
  and Karpov comes out and Karpov plays the kid.
• 24:27
  Karpov beats the shit out of the kid. The kid
• 24:30
  starts crying and I'm like, I would have fucked
• 24:32
  that kid up too. You put on your mitts, you take
• 24:38
  a punch kid. it was Sugar with Sugar Ray Leonard
• 24:44
  a lot of reporters let me get in the
• 24:46
  ring for especially TV reporters
• 24:48
  let me get in the ring with a fighter and do
• 24:49
  and they pity-pat Sugar Ray Leonard seems like a
• 24:52
  very bad choice a very bad life choice because
• 24:55
  Sugar Ray Leonard would beat you up because
• 24:59
  he says when I'm in the ring it's business this
• 25:01
  is my job and so some dumbass would say
• 25:06
  I'm going to oh look at this I'm punch punch
• 25:08
  punch with Sugar and Sugar The guy would be on
• 25:12
  his back. Yeah, of course. Call the hospital.
• 25:16
  I'm on my way. They had, oh, what is the guy?
• 25:20
  The key guy from Black Jackass that used to come
• 25:22
  on. I don't know if it still comes on. Yeah,
• 25:23
  yeah, yeah. The boxer, the one that used to be
• 25:25
  like 500 pounds. He was huge. And they put him,
• 25:28
  Johnny Knoxville. And for one of the jokes, they
• 25:31
  cordoned off like a store, just out the blue,
• 25:33
  right? Like you're just going to a random store.
• 25:35
  They cordoned it off. And they had Johnny Knoxville
• 25:37
  fighting Butterbean. I saw that. Did you see
• 25:41
  that? I did. He beat the living shit out of Johnny
• 25:45
  Knoxville. Oh, it's terrifying. Yeah. Oh, have
• 25:48
  you ever been in the ring? There was a short
• 25:50
  story, but, oh God, I can't remember. All of
• 25:54
  a sudden I'm having a mind fart. Sorry, but his
• 25:55
  father, he was a boxer in Grand Rapids, Michigan
• 25:58
  when I worked there. And his father had fought
• 26:00
  both Ali and Frazier, got knocked out by both.
• 26:03
  But he was, his son, Maddox, and he was getting
• 26:07
  ready to fight Tyson. And so he invited, we
• 26:11
  were invited to the gym and I brought my little
• 26:13
  boy and his dad was just Buster Mathis, Buster
• 26:17
  Mathis Senior, sweetest guy, hands the size of
• 26:20
  a car. And he got my son into the ring and said,
• 26:24
  okay, now there's a guy he's in that corner.
• 26:25
  Punch away. He had the timer going, oh no, he's
• 26:28
  gone to the other corner. Go, go, go. And he
• 26:29
  was exhausting my child. But have you ever been
• 26:32
  in a ring with a professional boxer? No. That's
• 26:36
  why I'm still alive. That's why I have this nose.
• 26:41
  Because I would spar at the Y, which some other
• 26:45
  middle-aged guys, it's very different when you
• 26:50
  get punched in the nose. You have the headgear
• 26:52
  and the rib guards and all this stuff. And they
• 26:54
  say, okay, let's spar. And they're still throwing
• 26:56
  stuff at about 70%. So it's not like they're
• 27:00
  throwing. But even 70%. I don't walk up. Oh,
• 27:03
  you don't because you get hit. You're thinking
• 27:06
  like this. You go, bap. And then this guy who's
• 27:09
  a pro goes, bap, bap, bap. And then it's like
• 27:11
  birds. It's like a cartoon. Although I would
• 27:14
  love to be taught by someone like that. If I
• 27:16
  retained 1% of what they taught me, it'd be
• 27:18
  amazing. It's how to stand and how to throw
• 27:21
  and really get the leverage and where the power
• 27:23
  is coming from, from the shoulder. These guys
• 27:25
  are amazing. I'm sorry. I'm going off on a tangent.
• 27:27
  Oh, that's what we do. By the way, this is a
• 27:30
  Q&A episode here on DeProgram. We have questions,
• 27:33
  so we should probably answer some of those. So
• 27:36
  let's go through them. All right, Peter Ive.
• 27:39
  Thanks for the donation. Or if you die like Nelson
• 27:42
  Rockefeller, reading an upside-down newspaper.
• 27:47
  How about Nelson Rockefeller dying like Grante
• 27:50
  Delicious on Central Park? He was. And the girl,
• 27:53
  it was his assistant. And he died on top of her
• 27:56
  while they were dating. And they were doing it
• 28:00
  on a desk. So he was like, yeah, drop dead on
• 28:05
  her. And she couldn't get her, get him off, but
• 28:07
  she could reach the phone. So she could call
• 28:10
  her friend to come over and pull this old guy
• 28:13
  off of her. Because apparently you can keep it.
• 28:17
  Help me. He's fallen down and he can't get up.
• 28:20
  Apparently he did get up because apparently that
• 28:22
  was one of the problems is that when you die,
• 28:24
  you don't necessarily lose. Yeah, lose the
• 28:28
  little soldier who still stands at attention, as it
• 28:31
  were. All right, so I have a friend referring
• 28:34
  to this story. Oh, God. This is a high school
• 28:37
  story. So, hey, we were both 16. And, man, this
• 28:41
  guy, he was so ugly. It was crazy. But he was
• 28:44
  getting so much tail, it was ridiculous. And
• 28:46
  he. So he had this girl from across town come
• 28:52
  over to his house when his parents weren't home
• 28:54
  after school, in that crucial 3 to
• 28:57
  5:30 zone. And he comes over, and this was 1979.
• 29:03
  And you remember the Dalkon Shield,
• 29:06
  which later had all sorts of problems with it.
• 29:09
  And it basically hooked into, it had some hooks
• 29:13
  that hooked into your private parts. Long story
• 29:17
  short, something went wrong. And this was on
• 29:22
  the virgin outing for, I believe, him. He got
• 29:25
  his penis hooked. And like Nelson Rockefeller's
• 29:31
  girlfriend, they had to, like an eight-legged
• 29:37
  monster, they had to amble over to the landline
• 29:41
  phone, which I believe was upstairs, by the way.
• 29:46
  And they had to get to the landline phone and
• 29:52
  call. 911 didn't exist. 911 was a joke, but it
• 29:56
  didn't exist yet. They call up Kettering's Finest.
• 29:59
  And they came over. They called the cops. Yeah,
• 30:05
  well, EMS came. And they took them out on one
• 30:08
  stretcher to the hospital to detach them from
• 30:11
  each other all the neighbors are watching from
• 30:14
  across the street it's the suburbs and
• 30:17
  they're all like Rob's like hi excuse me I don't
• 30:23
  know what a Dalkon Shield is keep in mind I was
• 30:25
  born it's an IUD it's a primitive IUD okay
• 30:30
  yeah so so And they cut off the tip of his penis.
• 30:38
  Get it out? Are you serious? I demanded to witness
• 30:43
  the scar. Did you see it? I saw it. Yeah, it
• 30:47
  was gnarly. But he said by that point, he was
• 30:52
  just like, great. I just want to get her out.
• 30:55
  I cannot believe it. Nobody says great for that
• 31:01
  like anyone brings a knife to my penis at no
• 31:04
  point for whatever reason am I going to say that
• 31:07
  might be the exception if I were stuck inside
• 31:09
  someone I might cut it I've had them put something
• 31:13
  in the head of my penis and that hurts like nobody's
• 31:15
  business it just hurts so after transplants
• 31:19
  I don't know if they still do this but after
• 31:21
  kidney transplants they used to put in a cap
• 31:24
  not a catheter they call it a stent yeah and
• 31:27
  it's this thing that keeps open your
• 31:30
  urethra the arteries veins these type of things
• 31:33
  in this case they wanted to keep open in fact
• 31:37
  I don't know what they were trying to keep open
• 31:39
  but whatever they were trying to keep it about
• 31:40
  their transplant and they have to go back
• 31:43
  and get it and they don't go surgically
• 31:47
  they go through the head of the penis and pull
• 31:49
  it out and they don't tell you this in advance
• 31:53
  by the way I can see why they don't tell you
• 31:57
  Yeah, they don't tell you. It's kind of like
• 31:59
  after it is like, hey, by the way, we have to
• 32:00
  do a procedure today. Really? What kind of procedure?
• 32:02
  Oh, it's not that bad. We just have to get the
• 32:04
  stent out. Wait a minute. What do you mean stent?
• 32:06
  Well, we put a stent in after the surgery. And
• 32:08
  it's like, what? And then they explain like,
• 32:11
  we're going to inject some, what do they call
• 32:15
  it? Numbing agent through the head of your penis.
• 32:18
  And then we're going to put a wire in it and
• 32:21
  we're going to reach in and just pull it out.
• 32:22
  It'll be very quick. It's not going to be bad
• 32:24
  at all. And it's like. Are you fucking kidding
• 32:26
  me? What you consider to be not bad is
• 32:28
  nonsense. No, it's not bad because it's not them.
• 32:32
  It's not them. And you get this old woman who
• 32:36
  puts your penis in a stand because your penis
• 32:38
  is trying to run away. It's terrible. It's like
• 32:41
  it's doing its best to get away. And they put
• 32:43
  it in this kind of hip lock. Your penis
• 32:45
  is trying to... It's trying to self-deport to
• 32:48
  Azerbaijan. I told you all my story about that
• 32:55
  dude who castrated himself in the emergency room.
• 32:58
  That was the most painful thing I've ever seen
• 33:00
  in my life. That goes to another level. Oh, Scott,
• 33:05
  you ever heard this story? Do I want to, guys?
• 33:09
  No, you don't. I am obligated to tell you. No,
• 33:13
  Robby, no. I've already heard this before. I've
• 33:16
  suffered enough. Ted, I've heard your stories
• 33:19
  like 20 times. That's how long we've known each
• 33:24
  other. Scott, I will call you after the show.
• 33:28
  Oh, I don't know. And I will tell you how this
• 33:30
  dude split his penis into four separate pieces.
• 33:33
  Oh, boy. It was amazing. Oh, there was a rock
• 33:37
  star. There's a story. I didn't do it. Why, what?
• 33:40
  Okay. Okay, so clip those versions. All right.
• 33:44
  Okay, so this dude got brought in by EMS. He
• 33:47
  had swallowed a dime bag of crack. To keep from
• 33:51
  getting caught with it, he swallowed it. And
• 33:53
  then what you do is you pretend like you fainted
• 33:56
  and basically that you're unresponsive. Usually
• 34:00
  the way that you wake somebody up is by sticking
• 34:02
  a catheter up their dick. Well, this guy took
• 34:04
  it like a champ. He didn't flinch. I mean, there
• 34:06
  was nothing. He didn't tense. I've never seen
• 34:10
  someone just take a catheter like this with no
• 34:13
  problem at all. He did it. Well, catheters are
• 34:16
  held in place by a balloon. This guy obviously
• 34:18
  did not know this. So after an hour of being
• 34:21
  in the emergency room, he gets up off the gurney
• 34:24
  and takes off his full sprint out the door. The
• 34:28
  problem is the catheter is still inside and the
• 34:30
  balloon is about the size of a fist. It's in
• 34:33
  your bladder. So he goes, he hits the end of
• 34:39
  his tether. The balloon comes out. Oh, he didn't
• 34:43
  do the legs up in the air thing? Oh, no. His
• 34:45
  penis literally shattered. It split into four
• 34:49
  separate pieces. That woke him up. He started
• 34:52
  screaming then. He didn't know that the catheter
• 34:55
  had a balloon to it? He did not know. He was
• 35:00
  not fully informed under HIPAA. He no longer has
• 35:03
  this problem. He will never have that problem
• 35:06
  again. He castrated himself in trauma one at
• 35:08
  Baptist Hospital. Wait, I was going to say, can
• 35:10
  they... Can they fix that? Can they just sew
• 35:13
  things back together? He destroyed it. It literally
• 35:17
  just... He pulled everything out. Do they have
• 35:23
  transplanted penises? I don't know. That's a
• 35:27
  great question. I think that they're trying.
• 35:30
  They're trying? Yeah. I suppose that would be
• 35:33
  good for some people. Did they get the blood
• 35:37
  supply to the penis at that point? that would
• 35:39
  be the difficult part I think you may just have
• 35:41
  it why at some point what's the point
• 35:45
  right the urethra was gone
• 35:51
  he just so so so everyone knows everybody
• 35:57
  knows what the penis looks like so when this
• 36:00
  balloon so thank you for that prequel so now
• 36:05
  when this balloon came out of this terminal velocity
• 36:07
  It dripped everything out. I mean, that's a misnomer
• 36:15
  of a physics term, but okay. Right. It gives
• 36:21
  a new meaning to terminal philosophy. Oh my God.
• 36:28
  Jesus Christ. I cannot, they actually had a story.
• 36:32
  What is the correct term then for ripping
• 36:37
  your dick apart with a catheter. Well, I think
• 36:40
  that's the term, ripping your dick apart with
• 36:41
  a catheter. I use the term velocity because he
• 36:48
  got to the tether at sufficient speed where he
• 36:51
  just simply removed every obstacle. When he reached
• 36:54
  his limits, let's say. Oh, my God. There was
• 36:58
  a news story recently about a rock star from
• 37:00
  the 60s and 70s. I want to say... Was he the
• 37:03
  lead singer for Steppenwolf or anything? But
• 37:06
  apparently he felt strongly that he needed sex
• 37:11
  on a very, like a daily, multiple times a day.
• 37:15
  And he literally, literally wore a hole in it.
• 37:20
  And the reason being... Well, how many times
• 37:23
  a day was he having sex? A lot of people
• 37:25
  have sex like daily, every day. Yeah, but this
• 37:28
  was probably two, three, four times a day. And
• 37:33
  his penis didn't get used to it? Yeah, you think
• 37:36
  a callus. Right. I was thinking a callus. That's
• 37:40
  what I mean. What, did he have
• 37:42
  a pussy penis? I don't understand. Apparently
• 37:45
  it was so much, and back in the day, how can
• 37:48
  I put this, for a family show such as this, women
• 37:53
  did not garden as efficiently as they do today.
• 37:58
  Well, that should only help, though. No, because...
• 38:02
  Because that provides a cushion. No,
• 38:05
  the hair created friction. Really? Well, that's
• 38:09
  what... That's hard to believe. I'm just saying
• 38:10
  what the story said. It's the most natural thing
• 38:11
  in the world. Are you telling me that
• 38:13
  bush is bad for the penis? That... I
• 38:17
  find that hard to believe. Okay, well... I find
• 38:18
  that hard to believe, too. All right. I'm just
• 38:21
  looking. I'd say put in... Go ahead and Google
• 38:23
  it. I'd love to see your ad feed for the next
• 38:25
  10 days too, by the way. Are you suffering from
• 38:34
  ruptured penis? Do you need ED treatments? We
• 38:39
  have got you covered. And the doctor's like,
• 38:41
  you've been having too much muff with hair. Yeah.
• 38:45
  That's right. Really? So this is sort of
• 38:49
  - You've been deep in muff for too long. Yeah.
• 38:52
  Yeah, apparently he was just, when he wasn't
• 38:55
  singing. He was having sex. He was having sex.
• 39:00
  And he probably got all the groupies that he
• 39:01
  wanted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure this
• 39:04
  wasn't because of a disease or something like
• 39:06
  that? Like he got syphilis? Yeah, he had to have
• 39:07
  something wrong with him. Like maybe, like he
• 39:09
  at least had to have psoriasis or something.
• 39:11
  Or maybe he did have a sore and it just went
• 39:14
  septic. Because that's not
• 39:16
  the most antiseptic place you can put your
• 39:19
  body part when it's got, I'll look it
• 39:22
  up. You know what? Have me back on. I'll do the
• 39:24
  research. Thank you. I'll have charts. I would
• 39:26
  appreciate that. All right. All right. All right.
• 39:29
  Let's move on here. Okay. Jamar, not to
• 39:35
  be confused with Jamarl. I want to debate Robby
• 39:37
  on re quick on immigration. Yes. What's re quick.
• 39:43
  No idea, but I'll do it. Okay, consider that.
• 39:46
  I pull them on my show any day of the week, twice
• 39:48
  on Sunday. Robby's willing to have the conversation.
• 39:50
  Robby West, you are on notice. You're on notice.
• 39:53
  You're on notice, West. You're on notice. But
• 39:56
  I did make a Deport That Heifer coffee
• 39:59
  mug and I've actually been selling them. Did
• 40:02
  you? Which is kind of nice. I did. You better
• 40:04
  put them on the DeProgram store. Yeah, I want
• 40:06
  one of those. I made one for you. It'll go nice
• 40:10
  next to my cat mug. Well, I made one for you.
• 40:13
  I also made a, my best seller right now is actually
• 40:16
  Bad Neighbors Make Good Fences with Vlad the
• 40:18
  Impaler. Awesome. I don't think anyone's going
• 40:21
  to get that one except you and me. I got it.
• 40:24
  It's hilarious. It has been selling like crack.
• 40:28
  I love it. Heck yeah. All right. Jamar also says,
• 40:31
  I can also ask Robby to come on my show for
• 40:34
  the debate on immigration too if y'all busy.
• 40:37
  I see you got a guest. Love the show. Jamar told
• 40:40
  me to come on. okay yeah I told many days
• 40:44
  tomorrow Ted a partner means supporting each
• 40:47
  other financially I agree with Matina
• 40:50
  it's like if she was doing obviously if
• 40:53
  you're both poor that's different right
• 40:56
  but it's like if one of you and we've talked
• 40:58
  about this if one of you is doing well financially
• 41:00
  especially if she wants you to do something right
• 41:03
  I had a girlfriend she was
• 41:06
  really rich and she would be like oh Ted, would
• 41:10
  you like to go to Madrid for the weekend? And
• 41:13
  I'd be like, yes, I would. But I am, what's the
• 41:16
  word for it? Shit-ass broke. So, but if only
• 41:20
  I knew someone who would be you who could afford
• 41:23
  to take me. Oh, I'm not going to do that. Okay,
• 41:26
  well, bye. Go by yourself. Sorry? I was the opposite.
• 41:30
  Because for me, I hated the idea that her financial
• 41:32
  situation was restrained on the relationship.
• 41:35
  Now, the difference is, she would not want to
• 41:38
  do it, though. So if I said, for example,
• 41:41
  I give you a really good one. One of the fights
• 41:44
  that we had, I decided to go to Japan instead
• 41:46
  of going to Austria. And again, my mindset, I
• 41:49
  could die tomorrow. I have the opportunity to
• 41:52
  go to Japan. I'm going. I love you to death.
• 41:54
  And I would say, you can come with me. And she
• 41:58
  would say, no, I'm happy here in Austria. And
• 42:01
  more to the point, I don't want you paying for
• 42:04
  me for that. And from my point of view, it's
• 42:06
  like, dude, I'm willing to do it. Well, that's
• 42:08
  ridiculous. I can afford it. See, I don't know
• 42:12
  if I would take that trip either. You guys were,
• 42:14
  obviously, you had control issues. That's what
• 42:16
  this was about. Well, it was complicated.
• 42:19
  Both of us were... Stubborn. For the audience
• 42:24
  that's in it. Moon opposition Pluto people. We
• 42:26
  had complicated shit going on. But I would say,
• 42:27
  though, in your case, I don't know if I would
• 42:30
  have taken her up on that offer either. Meaning,
• 42:32
  I don't know if I would have been okay. I'm talking
• 42:34
  spectacularly rich, okay? Not like, oh, this
• 42:39
  is a girl who makes $200,000 a year. I mean,
• 42:44
  this is a girl who has millions of dollars in
• 42:46
  the bank. Maybe I'd take that trip. Yeah. Especially
• 42:52
  because it wasn't my idea. I was perfectly fine
• 42:54
  renting a video and hanging out at home. I didn't
• 42:58
  need to go to Spain. She's the one who wanted
• 43:00
  to do shit like that. Really? You didn't want
• 43:03
  to go to Spain? Of course I did, but I was poor,
• 43:05
  so I didn't think I could go to Spain. It wasn't
• 43:08
  my thing. I'm not the one like, come on, let's
• 43:10
  go to Spain. I'm like, no, I'm poor. What are
• 43:12
  you talking about? Yeah, it just made it complicated.
• 43:13
  Yeah, I'm complicated. But I would have
• 43:16
  felt some kind of way about being a kept man.
• 43:20
  But I don't know. Okay, well, here, I had a kept
• 43:23
  man possibility. So I can tell the story because
• 43:25
  she's dead now and I'll even sort of name names.
• 43:28
  So years ago, I guess I was, 25-ish. So I worked
• 43:34
  at the Industrial Bank of Japan, right, as you
• 43:36
  guys know, in the late 80s. And if you stayed
• 43:39
  until 8 o'clock at night, you got what they
• 43:41
  called a black car to take you home at night.
• 43:44
  You didn't have to take the subway. They would
• 43:45
  call a private taxi. And sometimes if the weather
• 43:49
  was bad, they'd call and they'd say, it's a long
• 43:52
  way tonight because of the rain. Are you willing
• 43:55
  to share? And I'm like, I want to go home. Of
• 43:58
  course I'm willing to share. One night they said
• 44:02
  that and there was this lady in the car and she
• 44:06
  was the president of First Woman's Bank on 57th
• 44:09
  Street. And she was 40 years old thereabouts.
• 44:13
  And so. We, she's like, where
• 44:17
  do you work? We exchange cards. I was always
• 44:21
  looking for job offers because that was the best
• 44:23
  way to go to your boss and get her and get
• 44:25
  a raise. You could say, Hey, I got a job offer
• 44:28
  from so-and-so. And then like, Oh, okay. We'll
• 44:31
  get you a raise. Right. So, and who knows, maybe
• 44:34
  you go work there anyway. So the point is she's
• 44:37
  like, Oh, come in, come into my office. So I
• 44:40
  go for it. Come in and we'll have, we'll have
• 44:41
  a talk. So I go have lunch with her. I don't
• 44:44
  know, a few days later, whatever. She brings
• 44:47
  me back to the office. She takes me to her office
• 44:49
  and she basically lays out the following offer.
• 44:52
  She's like, listen, I don't really want you to
• 44:55
  work for me in the bank. I want you to live in
• 44:57
  my house. And when I come home, I want you to
• 45:01
  fuck me. She wanted me to be a rent boy, basically.
• 45:05
  And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah.
• 45:10
  And I was like. That's the most depressing offer
• 45:13
  I've ever gotten. Like a business deal. It was
• 45:16
  a business deal. Like you live at my house. Wow.
• 45:19
  Wow. I cover everything. You're my bitch. You're
• 45:22
  Pretty Woman. I'm Pretty Woman. You're Pretty
• 45:25
  Woman. Pretty Woman. Yep. That's it. I'm Julia
• 45:29
  Roberts. Well, except I didn't take her up on
• 45:33
  it. And she died fairly recently. She had
• 45:36
  an obit in the New York Times. And I remember
• 45:38
  just sort of laughing like, oh, that's her. I
• 45:40
  remember her. Wow. That's one you can say,
• 45:46
  no. Well, I did say no. It wasn't even
• 45:50
  like, of course, obviously, look.
• 45:53
  Did you entertain it? Look, you have
• 45:56
  to when you're poor, right? And I was only making
• 45:59
  like $30,000 a year. I was living in a walk-up
• 46:02
  apartment in a shitty neighborhood. And I
• 46:05
  was kind of like thinking, and I like older women.
• 46:07
  So that's not, pardon? Well, you couldn't do
• 46:11
  both? Like you couldn't continue to work and
• 46:12
  be her room boy? No, I asked her about that.
• 46:15
  She wanted me to be available to her as her concubine
• 46:19
  whenever she came home. What kind of benefits
• 46:23
  was she offering? Was she offering health insurance?
• 46:25
  Well, I think I would have actually been, I do
• 46:29
  think I would have had a position, a no-show
• 46:31
  job at the bank. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Could you imagine
• 46:37
  if that came out? Could you imagine? That's wild.
• 46:43
  That's so wild. I've never told this story. This
• 46:46
  British woman did the same thing for him. And
• 46:50
  he went to Britain with her and he was like,
• 46:51
  she treated me horribly. I think she would have
• 46:55
  been a terrible, honestly, I do think she would
• 46:58
  have been a terrible person to whoever she got
• 47:01
  to do this. Just Extreme Face Sitting every day.
• 47:04
  She was very hard. The Extreme Face Sitting girl
• 47:07
  was great. She was fantastic. Robby would have
• 47:13
  disagreed because she was on an H-1B visa, but
• 47:15
  otherwise she was great. You couldn't find an
• 47:19
  American extreme, face it. No, that's the problem.
• 47:24
  That's why America is being left behind. Okay,
• 47:25
  guys, I'm sorry. Being like, I was pretty much
• 47:28
  born married. What is extreme? I can guess, but
• 47:33
  can you just give me the Reader's Digest
• 47:36
  what that is? Ted will be the expert on this
• 47:38
  one. Well, face-sitting is just what it sounds
• 47:41
  like. Sure. And I guess extreme is where it's
• 47:45
  done with aggression. Yeah. So you're suffocating.
• 47:50
  Potentially. Or it's just like it's on like Donkey
• 47:54
  Kong. Donkey Kong throws a barrel on
• 47:59
  you, so I just wanted to be clear. Very good.
• 48:03
  All right. We have more questions here. It's
• 48:07
  dream-facing, huh? All right. Here we go. Okay.
• 48:12
  Deep Green VO celebrates one month of membership.
• 48:15
  Hey, guys. I've done shit to the wolves. You
• 48:18
  asked about a dark-horse candidate. What about,
• 48:20
  and it's very soon, DAC as a candidate? Who's
• 48:25
  DAC? Who's DAC? I don't know who that is. Please,
• 48:29
  Deep Green, if you're still here, let us know
• 48:31
  who D-A-C is. Who's D-A-C? No idea. Makadin.
• 48:36
  What do you think of the Macklemore situation?
• 48:38
  Was he in the wrong? Is it right for a billionaire
• 48:40
  and his friends to decide for everyone else?
• 48:42
  Why is it only the ginger who suffers? Thanks
• 48:46
  for the dono. Was that wrong?
• 48:50
  Of course not. We need to put in context, right? People
• 48:53
  are being murdered en masse. And... At this point,
• 48:57
  even agency after agency after agency have
• 49:00
  effectively called this a genocide, not just
• 49:01
  us, right? We're on the hard left, so.
• 49:05
  But even other agencies from the United Nations
• 49:07
  have called this a genocide. Hell, even the rape
• 49:09
  allegations coming out of the UN pointing out
• 49:11
  this is something that is systematic from the
• 49:14
  standpoint of Israel. The starvation, meaning
• 49:16
  if this was Nazi Germany and somebody said, hey,
• 49:20
  we need to stop killing Jews and you take them
• 49:23
  off stage because they're making that point.
• 49:25
  OK, what does that look like? That looks horrible.
• 49:28
  The person is using his fame and his stadium
• 49:31
  to make the point of saying free Palestine. The
• 49:33
  audience agreed. So this is not like the audience
• 49:36
  is booing him, like, boo, get off the stage.
• 49:39
  It's not that. They're like, yeah. More to the
• 49:42
  point, the Kraft guy who owns the stadium. Robert
• 49:45
  Kraft. That stadium was built using taxpayer
• 49:49
  dollars. He's a welfare queen. He is a welfare
• 49:53
  queen. To join with him in order to get Macklemore
• 49:57
  off stage. This was reported, I believe, by the
• 49:59
  New York Times, if I'm not mistaken. The issue
• 50:01
  here is Robert Kraft and his support of genocide
• 50:03
  and the murder of large-scale women and children
• 50:06
  en masse. That's his issue. True, true. So it's
• 50:09
  like, sure, you can say, well, Macklemore, what
• 50:12
  about the people who work and blah, blah, blah?
• 50:13
  That's an issue for Kraft. Nobody else was complaining.
• 50:16
  The audience didn't complain. Ed Sheeran had
• 50:19
  to know what Macklemore was about, considering
• 50:21
  they knew each other, they were friends with
• 50:23
  each other. He knew Macklemore's position before
• 50:24
  the concert ever took place. He didn't have an
• 50:26
  issue with it. He had an issue with it from the
• 50:28
  standpoint of optics and in the open, which on
• 50:30
  some level even makes it worse. They're murdering
• 50:33
  people en masse. That is the issue. Kraft being
• 50:35
  okay with it is the issue, not Macklemore. I
• 50:38
  hope this is the end of Ed Sheeran's pathetic
• 50:41
  career. I hope he never recovers. By the way,
• 50:43
  free Palestine isn't even a synonym for fuck
• 50:47
  Israel, right? No, it's not. Well, in the way
• 50:51
  they can see it, it is. But it's not. It doesn't
• 50:54
  mean the same thing. And the other thing is that
• 50:56
  the fact is he said it at a government-sponsored,
• 51:00
  a government-funded facility in a country that
• 51:04
  has, at the moment, a First Amendment. Yes. And
• 51:09
  like you said, he wasn't inciting anyone to violence.
• 51:11
  We can go into this issue on another time. But
• 51:16
  he wasn't. He wasn't saying anything that was
• 51:19
  particularly egregious or radical or harmful
• 51:21
  to anybody other than one political side of an
• 51:25
  issue. So why, when did we get, when
• 51:28
  in the world did we get from, and Ted and I have
• 51:31
  talked about this several times on our podcast,
• 51:33
  when did we go from, hey, listen, you said something
• 51:35
  stupid. I don't even think this was something
• 51:37
  stupid, by the way. Again, I disagree with it,
• 51:40
  but it doesn't matter. A lot of people say a
• 51:43
  lot of things I disagree with. What, you disagree
• 51:45
  with free Palestine? I do. You don't think Palestine
• 51:49
  should be free? Okay. I think there should be
• 51:53
  a price. I'm kidding. You could probably buy
• 52:01
  Palestine for the prices of a stadium full of
• 52:04
  Ticketmaster tickets at a Macklemore concert.
• 52:06
  And we've talked about this, and I've talked
• 52:08
  about this too, is how I've changed on my position
• 52:10
  of Israel was a full-throated endorsement and
• 52:13
  support to, what the fuck are you doing? especially
• 52:17
  now when the reports are coming out from the
• 52:18
  West Bank and what's happening with settlers
• 52:20
  and how the law enforcement element of Israel
• 52:25
  is looking the other way when these guys are
• 52:27
  committing atrocities. But the fact is, when
• 52:31
  did we go from I can say something that you disagree
• 52:33
  with and I should lose my job? Let's face it.
• 52:36
  The left started this with cancel
• 52:38
  culture and all that stuff. You go from you go
• 52:41
  from I disagree with what you said to you don't
• 52:44
  deserve to live. Ted has used this verbiage and
• 52:46
  I've embraced it because that's what you're saying.
• 52:48
  You don't deserve to make a living. Hence, you
• 52:51
  don't deserve to eat, live in a house or support
• 52:54
  your family. And that's bananas, regardless of
• 52:58
  what side you're on. Now, if someone came out
• 52:59
  and said, kill all the Jews or kill
• 53:02
  all the Palestinians, that's different. That's
• 53:05
  not what this was. And so just if anyone has
• 53:08
  the temerity to walk a different way, which used
• 53:12
  to be applauded in this country in many ways,
• 53:15
  and it certainly should be, now we're at a point
• 53:18
  where you don't deserve to work. Yeah. Well,
• 53:21
  that's a very dangerous... That's extreme. Yes.
• 53:25
  It is saying you don't have a right to live.
• 53:29
  I'm not kidding. Yeah, because we don't live
• 53:32
  in a country with a vibrant social safety net,
• 53:34
  right? No. It's not like England under Thatcher.
• 53:37
  OK, she's a bitch and she closes your mine and
• 53:40
  you end up on the dole. But there is a dole and
• 53:43
  it goes on for years. Here it's like
• 53:46
  if you if you lose your job as whatever,
• 53:50
  you literally could end up on the street dead.
• 53:54
  That's Catholic. When the job ended in the radio
• 53:57
  station and they're like, okay, we'll give you
• 54:01
  unemployment. Now, rent in New York, I mean,
• 54:04
  in D.C. is insane. Unemployment is less than
• 54:07
  rent. Yeah. Right? It's a joke. Yeah, it's a
• 54:11
  joke. It's like a tiny percentage. And that joke
• 54:15
  expires in usually six months or less. Yep. And
• 54:19
  anything from anywhere, like let's say you get
• 54:22
  100 bucks on YouTube channel, they're cutting
• 54:24
  them out. Literally, when you think about
• 54:26
  that example, Joe Biden was willing to let you
• 54:29
  die. Literally, if you had died,
• 54:34
  that would have been his fault. Yep. And everyone
• 54:38
  else at the station. Yeah. So, and that's not
• 54:40
  hyperbole. And this is someone who's coming from
• 54:42
  a fairly conservative standpoint. That's not
• 54:45
  hyperbole. If you can't work, you don't live.
• 54:47
  You can live on the streets, you can
• 54:49
  go to soup kitchens. What if you have a family?
• 54:51
  This whole attitude, the whole environment
• 54:54
  and both sides now have embraced it. That if
• 54:56
  we disagree to the point of the breaking of this
• 55:00
  news story, if you don't agree with us, if you
• 55:03
  don't walk lockstep, die. That's a bad place
• 55:08
  for a culture to be. I think we can agree on
• 55:11
  that. Half a billion dollars. He's not going
• 55:14
  to die. His livelihood wasn't necessarily at
• 55:18
  stake. He was just a coward. Yeah, that's right.
• 55:22
  Let's do some more questions here. Now that cops
• 55:26
  can fuck animals now. Not cops, only FBI agents.
• 55:32
  Only the feds. I have to worry about cops shooting
• 55:35
  my dog with lead or sperm when they enter my
• 55:39
  home. Only the FBI. Only the feds. Local law
• 55:45
  enforcement is not on team bestiality for now.
• 55:50
  State police, it could go either way. I'm not
• 55:52
  sure. Did you guys watch these hearings?
• 55:55
  It was beyond the, this guy. So surreal.
• 55:59
  I don't know what, he doesn't have a right to
• 56:02
  run anything. You mean Kash Patel? Yeah. Yeah.
• 56:06
  Nothing. I wouldn't trust that guy to cut my
• 56:09
  shrubs. Now, look, all three of us are, I mean,
• 56:12
  we get paid to talk. We get paid for our opinions.
• 56:15
  But we're not at the highest echelon
• 56:18
  of governance. Could you imagine if we're in
• 56:20
  front of a congressional hearing and they ask?
• 56:27
  And Senator Kennedy turns into this. tell me
• 56:30
  about the bestiality what he's like so you guys
• 56:34
  are into bestiality he's like whoa whoa we're
• 56:36
  not going to be this is not you don't have to
• 56:41
  be a genius to respond to that question and say
• 56:44
  senator I'm not sure what you're talking
• 56:47
  about and when they knew exactly what he was
• 56:50
  talking about that would have been a lie The
• 56:55
  way to handle it, if he had any brain cells at
• 56:58
  all, would have been something along the lines
• 57:00
  of, Senator, look, I know this appears completely
• 57:02
  outlandish. And I thought the same exact thing
• 57:05
  when it was brought up to me. So as crazy as
• 57:10
  it sounds, incredibly, I learned that there is
• 57:14
  this phenomenon of trafficking people into this
• 57:17
  horrific crime. And sometimes they're the victims
• 57:21
  of it. It's unbelievable, I know, insane. But
• 57:25
  he said that kind of like he had to be teased
• 57:27
  out of that, right? Like he was reacting to it.
• 57:29
  And he, and it's like, and it has come, he should
• 57:32
  have volunteered. And incredibly, there's like
• 57:34
  a few applicants who, who were. Oh yeah. Kennedy
• 57:37
  gave him lifelines, as many as he
• 57:39
  could. It's just never stopped. It's what Patel,
• 57:43
  it's the way Patel was kind of like, it was like,
• 57:47
  you have to do the wide eye. You have
• 57:49
  to have the wide-eyed look. Cause he's always
• 57:51
  like. he always looks surprised so it's like
• 57:53
  yeah he does yeah somebody says he was sobering
• 57:55
  up from a bender maybe not sobering up well we've
• 58:00
  all been there testimony no that's so much
• 58:05
  oh my god I guess I'm the only teetotaler on
• 58:09
  this panel aren't I I'm the one that's never
• 58:10
  drunk wait you said the only one that's ever
• 58:13
  drunk never drunk oh yeah Yeah, I don't believe
• 58:17
  it. No, I don't drink much at all anymore. My
• 58:18
  body, once you turn a certain age, your body
• 58:20
  just goes, oh, no. Even after one or two. I don't
• 58:24
  tolerate alcohol that well, but I'm not against
• 58:25
  alcohol, drugs or anything else. I like my glass
• 58:29
  of wine. All right. We got to get Scott to take
• 58:32
  the political test. Oh, yeah. Scott, I came out
• 58:37
  as a North Korean. That's true. DPRK awaits you.
• 58:47
  Listen, I would go. If I ever got the opportunity,
• 58:52
  dead serious, don't think I'm joking. God, I
• 58:57
  would love to go to Pyongyang, go look around.
• 59:00
  I think it would snatch my head. I think, honestly,
• 59:03
  it's like, look, you've traveled to a lot of
• 59:05
  authoritarian regimes. Azerbaijan is one of them.
• 59:08
  You just fucking find out what the rules are
• 59:11
  and you just fucking follow them. Yeah, but there
• 59:13
  are political reasons for North Korea to snatch
• 59:15
  up. Just like there would be for, well,
• 59:18
  I would go to Iran in a heartbeat. I would go
• 59:20
  to Russia in a heartbeat. Well, like that guy
• 59:21
  who stole, the Cincinnati and who got,
• 59:23
  Yeah, that fool. The fool. He stole
• 59:26
  the poster. He did. You're not supposed
• 59:29
  to take photos in Pyongyang. Just don't, right?
• 59:32
  They tell you what not to do. Just don't. Yeah,
• 59:35
  you shouldn't be stealing stuff in foreign countries.
• 59:37
  Yeah, don't steal shit. Just follow Michael
• 59:41
  Fay, the Singapore guy, also a super proud resident
• 59:45
  of southwestern Ohio. Yeah, got caned. He was
• 59:48
  vandalizing cars and shit. Dude, follow
• 59:52
  the fucking law and nothing bad will happen to
• 59:54
  you. Don't take your drugs to Russia and you'll
• 59:56
  be fine. for example by the way Jesse
• 1:00:00
  Jackson came on our show trying to get her out
• 1:00:02
  oh really Jesse Jackson came on Fault Lines and
• 1:00:07
  basically made this he did the interview but
• 1:00:10
  the interview the entire point of it was him
• 1:00:11
  to basically make the pitch for Putin to let
• 1:00:14
  her go and he chose our show to do it oh wow
• 1:00:16
  oh that's cool that's so cool Jesse Jackson
• 1:00:21
  was he in the studio no he was he called in But
• 1:00:25
  he was in D.C. at many points, like when the
• 1:00:27
  people were doing the protests. I forget what
• 1:00:30
  they were protesting. But when he brought food
• 1:00:32
  out because the cops wasn't allowing food and
• 1:00:34
  the people were like, are the cops going to hit
• 1:00:36
  Jesse Jackson? And the answer was no. It came
• 1:00:40
  just in case. That was the right call on the
• 1:00:43
  cops' part. If you so says pocket pussy has whole
• 1:00:47
  new meaning when dealing with law enforcement,
• 1:00:49
  I'm not going to comment on that. Maybe, Jamarl,
• 1:00:53
  she could have married you so you had the insurance.
• 1:00:55
  That would have been the move. Well, I consider
• 1:00:59
  that. That's how serious I was when I said objective
• 1:01:01
  and everything else. But I need it. This is when
• 1:01:07
  me being a Virgo comes into play. Look, my thing
• 1:01:10
  was, let's be together for three months first.
• 1:01:13
  Meaning when I'm traveling, let's break
• 1:01:16
  it in half where I give and you give. My give
• 1:01:20
  is that I would be there for three months and
• 1:01:23
  we would see whether this stuff works in practice.
• 1:01:25
  Because it's one thing, you have a long-
• 1:01:27
  distance relationship, right? It's another thing
• 1:01:28
  in practice. What does this look like? And do
• 1:01:32
  I want to marry somebody? And I got to be honest,
• 1:01:34
  I even made the point of saying, hey, we can
• 1:01:35
  get married. And if it doesn't go well, you can
• 1:01:37
  always get it annulled. Meaning I was looking
• 1:01:39
  at it through practical terms of how do you get
• 1:01:41
  from point A to point B and how do you accomplish
• 1:01:43
  it? We thought about it. But I kind of
• 1:01:46
  wanted a little bit more assurance at first that
• 1:01:48
  the person I was marrying was the person I was
• 1:01:51
  marrying. And not to mention other issues that
• 1:01:53
  were difficult. But I don't think those issues
• 1:01:55
  have been difficult in person. And I saw the
• 1:01:57
  shitty comment that my mom made. She thinks I
• 1:02:02
  didn't see it. My mom said, under it, yes. Hi,
• 1:02:11
  mom. Peter Ive, Kraft built the New England Patriot
• 1:02:16
  Stadium outside Boston where the Sheeran tour
• 1:02:19
  is coming. Kraft also was arrested for patronizing
• 1:02:23
  an Asian massage parlor too cheap to hire a decent
• 1:02:26
  American escort. He has all of that money. And
• 1:02:30
  the woman at the very least. Do you think the
• 1:02:32
  escort was, do you think the Japanese massage
• 1:02:34
  parlor lady was here on an H-1B visa? Because
• 1:02:38
  they can't find enough Americans to do this important
• 1:02:41
  work? Right. Doing the work Americans won't.
• 1:02:46
  There are plenty of Americans that want that
• 1:02:48
  job. That's true. It's like, yeah.
• 1:02:54
  I've always dreamed of being a male prostitute. I think that
• 1:02:56
  would be. Well, apparently you had the chance.
• 1:02:59
  That's true. With your bank friend. Yep. Yeah,
• 1:03:03
  but that's different. That's more like a sex
• 1:03:05
  slave for one person. A prostitute has agency.
• 1:03:09
  A prostitute's like they have different clients.
• 1:03:11
  So it's the variety that makes it better? Yes,
• 1:03:14
  because look, it's like in cartooning. It's better
• 1:03:16
  to have 50 clients. If one of them fires you,
• 1:03:19
  you're still okay. But if you only have one client,
• 1:03:21
  you're in deep shit. I'm curious. Was the bank
• 1:03:23
  woman attractive? Yeah, she was. I would have
• 1:03:28
  taken that job. Really? I was up and coming.
• 1:03:33
  I don't know. I changed that. Because the independence
• 1:03:35
  thing would have been an issue. I agree with
• 1:03:37
  you with the independence thing. That's what
• 1:03:37
  it was for me. What's the expectation? Meaning,
• 1:03:43
  what does she expect of you, Beyonce? You stay
• 1:03:46
  home and look pretty and get ready for action
• 1:03:50
  whenever she wants it at her beck and call. And
• 1:03:56
  it sounds like a lot of boredom, a lot of downtime.
• 1:04:00
  But see, you can do stuff with that downtime.
• 1:04:01
  I could have drawn cartoons or whatever. Yeah.
• 1:04:05
  I guess my thing is, is she a horrible person?
• 1:04:07
  It's that part. Well, she was definitely not
• 1:04:10
  like, she didn't sell it well. She wasn't like,
• 1:04:13
  sort of like, come on, it's going to be great.
• 1:04:18
  I'm going to do this. Yeah, it was very like.
• 1:04:20
  all right, this is what I want. It was like,
• 1:04:22
  whoa. Yeah, she wanted to buy a human being.
• 1:04:24
  That's never ended well in our culture. Well,
• 1:04:29
  it went well for thousands of thousands of years.
• 1:04:31
  What race was she? Was she black? No, she was
• 1:04:34
  very white, for sure. It would have been funnier
• 1:04:37
  if she was black. I might have been more tempted,
• 1:04:40
  too. She would have owned the slave at that point.
• 1:04:43
  I think a black woman would have come correct,
• 1:04:45
  in a way that this woman couldn't.
• 1:04:48
  This is funny. It's like she's buying a person.
• 1:04:50
  That's what it was. She was buying a sex slave.
• 1:04:52
  Well, we don't know if she wanted to buy Ted.
• 1:04:54
  She sounds like she may just wanted to rent him.
• 1:04:56
  Yeah, just lease to own maybe. Yeah.
• 1:05:00
  Depending on how well you laid the pipe, then
• 1:05:02
  maybe there'd be some discussions about the long
• 1:05:05
  term. But it sounds like a rental. But see, it's
• 1:05:09
  insecurity at that point. Because as Ted said,
• 1:05:11
  you're financially dependent upon one person.
• 1:05:13
  And if she gets tired of you, you're not laying
• 1:05:15
  down pipe well enough. And during that time.
• 1:05:18
  You're like, there's an opportunity cost, right?
• 1:05:20
  You're losing, seriously.
• 1:05:24
  I'm in my mid-twenties. This is a chance
• 1:05:26
  to, this is key career-building times
• 1:05:29
  when I should be, I had to make
• 1:05:32
  something out of myself. And it was the eighties.
• 1:05:34
  The economy was sort of expanding.
• 1:05:37
  Don't want to miss a chance.
• 1:05:39
  It wasn't like a period of high unemployment.
• 1:05:42
  Yeah. And there was no internet back then. So
• 1:05:43
  there wasn't no work from home. Well, there would
• 1:05:46
  have been for me. They would have all been from
• 1:05:48
  home. But for example, you could have
• 1:05:52
  worked on your cartooning career or something
• 1:05:54
  else, working online. That didn't exist back
• 1:05:58
  then because you're a fossil. That's true. It
• 1:06:02
  just wasn't there. That's right. I love you,
• 1:06:05
  Ted. Call him a fossil. I actually do
• 1:06:12
  know. I shouldn't say I know. I know of. I know.
• 1:06:16
  Okay. I know a lady who employs a male prostitute.
• 1:06:22
  Really? Yeah. Basically, it's in the guise of
• 1:06:25
  masseuse, of massage. So basically, he was like,
• 1:06:29
  oh, I'm doing something new with massage. And,
• 1:06:33
  where basically I offer more. And she
• 1:06:38
  was like. Endings. More than like everything.
• 1:06:42
  the whole shebang, right? So basically just prostitution.
• 1:06:46
  Basically prostitution, yeah. And the guy has
• 1:06:50
  lots of clients. He does all this stuff. He's
• 1:06:52
  like, she's twice his age. He's like
• 1:06:55
  good looking, like surfer-type dude. And he's
• 1:07:00
  basically working the California,
• 1:07:02
  working all the old ladies on the California
• 1:07:04
  coast. Nice. I know, I'm jealous. I'm like, this
• 1:07:08
  is the work I wanted. I would have loved this.
• 1:07:12
  is that one client multiple clients I mean he's
• 1:07:14
  better looking he's much better looking than
• 1:07:16
  I was but yeah he has multiple clients he's making
• 1:07:20
  and by the way he gets I mean the amount of money
• 1:07:23
  he gets is crazy right so for spending the
• 1:07:27
  night he gets three grand wow all of us just
• 1:07:34
  well The cartooning business is going down the
• 1:07:38
  crapper. Come on. That's a lot of free. Come
• 1:07:41
  on. There's a lot in cartooning. You're happy
• 1:07:44
  to get $300 for a freelance cartoon. I can't
• 1:07:49
  draw 10 cartoons a day, even with AI. In fact,
• 1:07:53
  that's a good. The clients take place at night.
• 1:07:56
  That's a good segue. I've got to get to work,
• 1:07:58
  actually. I've got to get to drawing you guys.
• 1:08:01
  This has been so much fun. I hope you invite
• 1:08:03
  me again. This has been a blast. Oh, yeah. No,
• 1:08:05
  anytime. Anytime. Thanks, guys. All right. I'll
• 1:08:08
  let you go. Let me take Scott out. Okay. Scott's
• 1:08:11
  awesome. I love that guy. Yeah, he's great. That's
• 1:08:14
  my first time meeting Scott. Is it? Now you know
• 1:08:17
  the legend that is Scott Stantis. The legend.
• 1:08:20
  Yeah. All right. Well, have an interview. All
• 1:08:24
  right. All right, quick question. Would either
• 1:08:27
  of you two guys, assuming you were not attached
• 1:08:30
  romantically, would you take $3,000 to have
• 1:08:33
  sex with an older lady? Yes. I'd have to marry
• 1:08:37
  her. You don't have to pay me. Oh, you'd have
• 1:08:40
  to do the Muslim thing where you get married
• 1:08:41
  for the night and then get divorced the next
• 1:08:44
  day? Is that for me or JT? That's for you, Robby.
• 1:08:49
  Because marriage is for life in the Christian
• 1:08:53
  tradition. Fornication is one of the things
• 1:08:56
  that you really get troubled with God about.
• 1:08:58
  I would have stuck with my wife for life, even
• 1:09:01
  if we hated each other. What? Everybody in my
• 1:09:04
  family hated each other, and they still stayed
• 1:09:06
  together forever. I don't believe in that. Life
• 1:09:10
  is too short to be with people you hate.
• 1:09:12
  Jesus, it's so stressful. Literally,
• 1:09:15
  the best thing in the world is to come home and
• 1:09:18
  put the key in the door and know that there's
• 1:09:21
  nothing on the other side that hates you or is
• 1:09:23
  going to yell at you agreed which is why I changed
• 1:09:26
  my point of view of it but I changed my point
• 1:09:29
  of view when I realized my wife was right delete
• 1:09:31
  yeah yeah fighting is bad yeah it's a toxic environment
• 1:09:35
  it's like who the hell wants to be life is short
• 1:09:37
  die tomorrow why would you want to be in a toxic
• 1:09:39
  environment yeah yeah for sure I am I am very
• 1:09:43
  very fortunate and blessed because next month
• 1:09:46
  will be mine and Kizzy's 20th wedding anniversary
• 1:09:48
  congratulations And I can count the number of
• 1:09:52
  times we've had knock-down, drag-out fights,
• 1:09:55
  maybe on one hand and all that time. And they're
• 1:09:59
  all your fault, Robby. Remember that? Well,
• 1:10:01
  of course I'm the man, but typically it's because
• 1:10:03
  something is, it was something stupid at the
• 1:10:05
  end of the day, just honestly didn't even matter.
• 1:10:07
  It's just retarded. And, Oh yeah.
• 1:10:11
  When you look back on fights, it's usually not
• 1:10:13
  about anything important. No, it just completely
• 1:10:16
  didn't matter in the end. that was just completely
• 1:10:20
  dumb and more often than honestly it was my fault
• 1:10:23
  because I was being pig-headed or wasn't listening
• 1:10:26
  or it was some I thought that she was being illogical
• 1:10:31
  and it was like you're not looking this logically
• 1:10:33
  you're being emotional about this and that's
• 1:10:35
  never a good thing to say to a woman she's a
• 1:10:38
  lady yeah don't do that I gotta be honest
• 1:10:41
  I am not of this mind to blame everything on
• 1:10:44
  the guy I've never been that way oh I was joking
• 1:10:48
  Yeah, I know you're joking. I know you're joking.
• 1:10:49
  But Robby seemed to be leaning into it. Leaning
• 1:10:53
  into what? The idea that you were the fuck-up
• 1:10:56
  on all of those occasions. It's like, oh, I said
• 1:10:59
  she was being emotional. Well, because I was.
• 1:11:02
  Maybe she was being a little bit emotional. No,
• 1:11:05
  it's because I didn't have the opportunity to
• 1:11:07
  grow up to get the social conditioning about
• 1:11:09
  how to deal with people going through high school
• 1:11:11
  or college. I see. So with me,
• 1:11:17
  I've always been a very goal-focused tunnel-vision kind of guy.
• 1:11:20
  Like here's the objective. This is going to happen.
• 1:11:23
  And it's just tunnel vision. It's like this,
• 1:11:25
  this is the way it's going to be. Because whenever
• 1:11:27
  you grow up the way that I did, that's
• 1:11:31
  what you had to survive. Everything else
• 1:11:32
  is a distraction. Everything just goes to this
• 1:11:34
  one particular goal of solving this problem.
• 1:11:36
  Like right now. And that doesn't work
• 1:11:38
  with marriage. That sounds like not just individual.
• 1:11:42
  This is not a fighting for love thing. This is
• 1:11:46
  practical relationship stuff that you're reflecting.
• 1:11:48
  I have learned to listen. I have learned to listen.
• 1:11:52
  Guys, it's time that we've gone over a little
• 1:11:58
  bit. Hope you both have a great weekend. Hope
• 1:12:01
  everybody has a great weekend. It is Friday.
• 1:12:03
  We'll be back Monday, 9 a.m. Eastern time. New
• 1:12:06
  schedule starts Monday. So DeProgram goes a full
• 1:12:10
  two hours. The first hour is the regular show.
• 1:12:13
  Pretty much the second hour will be Q&A unless
• 1:12:16
  something big comes up. But anyway, so we do
• 1:12:19
  Q&A the whole time anyway. So it's not like.
• 1:12:23
  No, we do stories. Well, we do stories. We try
• 1:12:25
  to stay tethered to the stories. And usually
• 1:12:29
  you do all of them. Thankfully. True. Well, sometimes
• 1:12:31
  I do derail the show. That's been known to happen.
• 1:12:35
  There are times. So do I. We're all guilty of
• 1:12:38
  derailing. We started this off talking about
• 1:12:42
  face-sitting. That was just a wild place to
• 1:12:44
  come in. The surprising thing to me was not that
• 1:12:47
  she was into it. I never heard of it before.
• 1:12:52
  But it was the fact that she paid for porn. I'm
• 1:12:54
  like, in the internet age, who pays for porn?
• 1:12:57
  And she's a girl. right it was her niche it's
• 1:13:00
  like it was the thing it was her niche yeah yeah
• 1:13:03
  and she but she's she was very she was cute she
• 1:13:06
  was like I need to support it I need to
• 1:13:10
  information isn't
• 1:13:13
  free content needs to be paid for I was like
• 1:13:16
  you're right wait how did you even know see I
• 1:13:19
  gotta be honest with you I would have never even
• 1:13:22
  had those conversations
• 1:13:24
  and this is
• 1:13:26
  what I learned a lot about myself at the end
• 1:13:28
  of the marriage there's a lot of stuff that
• 1:13:30
  is just that's not exposed
• 1:13:35
  it sounds weird
• 1:13:37
  just because we do a show and we talk about all
• 1:13:40
  sorts of random but there's certain things I
• 1:13:42
  just don't trend into I don't know if I would
• 1:13:44
  have ever had that conversation good on you for
• 1:13:46
  having it how did you even find out she just
• 1:13:50
  told you Well, we had a very open relationship
• 1:13:53
  sexually and we were, it was sort
• 1:13:56
  of the normal, I hope normal, but sort of the,
• 1:14:00
  hey, what are you into? What kind of,
• 1:14:02
  what do you like in bed? What do you not like?
• 1:14:04
  I think that's a conversation all couples
• 1:14:08
  should have. And they should check in with each
• 1:14:11
  other frequently about that. There might be something
• 1:14:13
  that came up or that they were hesitant to talk
• 1:14:15
  about in the past. And people need
• 1:14:17
  to be drawn out if they're embarrassed about
• 1:14:19
  something. And it's like, oh, I've always wanted
• 1:14:21
  to do this or that. And it's like,
• 1:14:23
  who knows? The person might be like, oh, I'd
• 1:14:27
  love to do that. So it's like that it
• 1:14:28
  was part of that conversation. She was like,
• 1:14:32
  well, as a matter of fact, this is my thing.
• 1:14:35
  And I was like, we can do that.
• 1:14:39
  Oh, see, I never had that. I think I tried to
• 1:14:41
  have that conversation once. Look, I get curious
• 1:14:44
  about shit. But I don't think it went all that
• 1:14:48
  well. I didn't come away from the conversation
• 1:14:53
  thinking to myself, hey, this was positive. I
• 1:14:56
  was doing it. Well, I think it takes practice.
• 1:15:00
  But I don't know. I'm also, I
• 1:15:01
  don't know why this is true. That's a good thing.
• 1:15:02
  I'm saying that's a good thing. I'm one of those
• 1:15:04
  people who, for some reason, people feel like
• 1:15:09
  they can talk to easily. And so they do. And
• 1:15:11
  people will confide things that I think they
• 1:15:15
  might not tell someone else. But I'm also not
• 1:15:20
  going to judge you. If she was going to say she
• 1:15:23
  was into something that I personally hated and
• 1:15:27
  didn't... has happened and
• 1:15:31
  it's like but I wouldn't be like oh that's disgusting
• 1:15:33
  I'm not going to be like that at all
• 1:15:35
  at most I'd be like well I could see this being
• 1:15:37
  a problem because of blah blah blah right yeah
• 1:15:39
  it's like I don't really want you taking a on
• 1:15:42
  my face I'm uncomfortable right that
• 1:15:46
  fortunately never came up but I did I did
• 1:15:48
  have a girlfriend she was like she wanted to
• 1:15:52
  be fisted and I was like I'm not going to do
• 1:15:58
  that It's violent. It's going to hurt you. I
• 1:16:02
  don't want to hurt someone. I'm like, you will
• 1:16:06
  find guys who are into hurting you. God bless,
• 1:16:11
  but that's not me. No judgment. Basically, it
• 1:16:14
  was like that. It's like Brussels sprouts. I
• 1:16:17
  just don't like them. I don't judge them. I don't
• 1:16:21
  think anything about them. You have as many as
• 1:16:24
  you want. I just don't like them. All right,
• 1:16:27
  guys. We have come to the end. We have come to
• 1:16:29
  the end. Thanks, everyone. Bye, guys. See you
• 1:16:31
  later. Bye, y'all. See you on Monday.