Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How Do Narcissists Really SEE The World?

Transcript

How Do Narcissists Really SEE The World? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're talking about how do narcissists see the world like
• 0:07
  through their own 2 narcissistic eyes.
• 0:11
  Like what does the world look like through the eyes, through
• 0:13
  the vision of a narcissistic person.
• 0:16
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:18
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:21
  of The Narcissist Cole. Let's get it.
• 0:41
  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:43
  Yes y'all. How in the hell do narcissistic
• 0:47
  people see the world? Like what is it like peeking
• 0:50
  through those through those little Jeepers creepers peepers
• 0:53
  of a highly narcissistic or toxic person before we hop too
• 0:58
  deep in today's episode, y'all, if you haven't already hit that
• 1:00
  subscribe button, please. So many people watch it.
• 1:04
  They're not subscribed. It cost 0 dollars, $0.00 to
• 1:10
  subscribe. I'm watching my hand signals.
• 1:12
  Don't I know what people the world's going crazy about them
• 1:15
  hands and arms, right? That's that's not what it meant
• 1:19
  right there for me, for me, at least for me, for me.
• 1:22
  Yeah, hit the subscribe button please.
• 1:23
  I thank you so much. But y'all, it is insane right
• 1:27
  now. Like I talked to so many people
• 1:29
  nowadays. They asked me like Lee, how does
• 1:31
  how does the world look like through your eyes?
• 1:33
  I was like, you ever seen those, those, those, those camera
• 1:37
  visions where like you it's all green and red and stuff like
• 1:41
  that and the red are just heat signatures and whatnot.
• 1:44
  It's like that looking through the eyes of Narcissus, like we
• 1:46
  see heat signature like empaths and people with high levels of
• 1:50
  empathy and compassion give off a unique heat signature which
• 1:54
  allows us to track them like Predators.
• 1:57
  No, it's not like that, y'all. It's not like you don't give off
• 2:00
  a different heat signature because you have a high level of
• 2:03
  empathy. We're like, we can't like like
• 2:06
  the Predator. Y'all see the Predator, Arnold
• 2:08
  Schwarzenegger back in the day, Predator just like they had
• 2:12
  aliens see the world wrong. Oh, the person.
• 2:16
  No, it's not like that, y'all. But I do believe that most
• 2:20
  narcissists talk to people. Whatever, right?
• 2:23
  See the world through it, like it through.
• 2:26
  It's black and white. It's like black and white vision
• 2:28
  pretty much, right? Things are either all good or
• 2:32
  all bad for a narcissist. There is very little middle
• 2:37
  ground, very little wiggle room. That's why a lot of this stuff,
• 2:41
  a lot of the searches that a lot of people look up or how to deal
• 2:44
  with a narcissist, how to get a narcissist to do this, How to
• 2:47
  get a narcissist to change or work on themselves, or how to Co
• 2:50
  parent with a narcissist. How to find middle ground with a
• 2:53
  narcissist. The middle ground with most
• 2:56
  narcissist typically does not exist.
• 2:59
  Let's be real y'all. The middle ground with a
• 3:02
  narcissist or toxic person typically does not exist like
• 3:08
  they they is it? Is it all good or all bad?
• 3:11
  Is it the my way or the highway? You either enjoy how I'm
• 3:15
  treating you or you can leave. You see how that works?
• 3:18
  You see how it goes right there? It's either you enjoy how you
• 3:22
  tolerate these behaviors or you can leave.
• 3:25
  There's no just like, OK, I'll change my behaviors.
• 3:28
  Look, I'll do some things that I like, you do some things that
• 3:31
  you like, and we'll meet in the middle.
• 3:33
  No, it's either my way or you hit the highway.
• 3:37
  You hit the highways that are close to me, 85 and 40.
• 3:41
  You hit 85 or you hit 40. Your the choice is yours.
• 3:44
  Both of them are good, solid highways, right?
• 3:46
  Interstates even. So it's just in that space right
• 3:49
  there, like it's like, and this is like believe, why the hell
• 3:53
  can't they see the world through the eyes of somebody else?
• 3:56
  How hard is that right there? How hard is it is it to
• 3:58
  compromise? Why do they see the world like
• 4:01
  that? It's because, and this is my own
• 4:03
  personal thinking right here, y'all, and this is like my own
• 4:05
  part, part of my own personal story is like when we were kids,
• 4:09
  we tried when we were little, we tried to see the world like
• 4:12
  everybody else saw the world, right?
• 4:14
  But something happened to us like we were neglected, we were
• 4:16
  traumatized, we were abused. Something happened to us where
• 4:20
  we, we saw people as all good or all bad.
• 4:24
  We saw situations as all good or all bad because we wanted to
• 4:27
  protect ourselves. Most of narcissism for me is
• 4:32
  really a self-defense thing. It's like narcissistic people
• 4:36
  are trying to find ways to defend themselves, defend
• 4:39
  ourselves because I have a personality disorder, right?
• 4:41
  We're trying to find ways to defend ourselves.
• 4:44
  So I know that makes sense to a lot of people, but some people
• 4:45
  it still doesn't make sense. Lately.
• 4:46
  This still doesn't make sense to me.
• 4:47
  Like, why don't you just behave better if you want?
• 4:50
  If you want people to treat you better or be better around you,
• 4:52
  why not just act better? Why not just behave better?
• 4:55
  Yeah, I wish. I y'all know me.
• 4:58
  Y'all been following me for a while, for a while, for a while.
• 5:01
  Y'all been rocking with me for a long time, right?
• 5:05
  You can't change a personality overnight.
• 5:08
  It's a personality. Your personality is disorder.
• 5:11
  It's not just like a a brain thing.
• 5:13
  Let me go in here and switch flip this search.
• 5:16
  It's not like a fuse box, right? You have on a fuse box.
• 5:18
  Let me flip this one off to see how you doing.
• 5:21
  How the fuse boxes at your house might not have the labels on
• 5:23
  them. So you're going through the fuse
• 5:24
  box and see what's light turned off.
• 5:26
  Let me turn this light off. Hey, babe, did the kitchen light
• 5:28
  go off? No.
• 5:29
  What? What off then?
• 5:31
  Oh, the security camera. OK, what about now?
• 5:34
  Upstairs. Oh, damn it.
• 5:35
  I'm just trying to turn off the bathroom light.
• 5:37
  You're it's that stuff right there.
• 5:39
  It's trying to find, like, what works?
• 5:41
  You can't. That doesn't happen with Arthur.
• 5:42
  You can't just find that switch and flip it on and off and hope
• 5:46
  that something's going to change, like behavior is going
• 5:48
  to change or something like that.
• 5:49
  Right. It doesn't work, though.
• 5:50
  Yeah. Sometimes I wish you could.
• 5:52
  Sometimes, you know, on my healing journey, I wish it was
• 5:54
  that easier. I wish I could just go in there
• 5:56
  and flip a switch and see the world like everybody else sees
• 5:58
  the world. Because you you have a lot of
• 6:00
  empathy. You have a lot of compassion
• 6:01
  within you. You try to you you're willing to
• 6:03
  find compromise. That's what therapy is for
• 6:05
  right? That's what that's literally
• 6:06
  what marriage counseling a couple of counseling is for
• 6:08
  typically defined compromise and to to help course correct
• 6:11
  behaviors and help y'all work together.
• 6:14
  Narcissistic people don't want to work with you.
• 6:16
  They want you to work for them right?
• 6:19
  How is this? How is this relationship serving
• 6:24
  me? How are these behaviors serving
• 6:26
  me? How is what I'm experiencing
• 6:28
  what I'm doing? How are these things that I'm
• 6:31
  going through that we're going through right now?
• 6:33
  How is this serving me in any way, shape or form?
• 6:38
  That's what we have to talk about.
• 6:39
  That's what we have to operate with right there, right?
• 6:41
  How are these behaviors serving me in any way, shape or form?
• 6:48
  How or is this relationship serving me?
• 6:51
  How is me changing going to serve me more than it serves
• 6:54
  you? Because they like being real.
• 6:56
  Just keep it real. Narcissists have to feel like
• 6:59
  they're winning something, right?
• 7:00
  They have to feel like there is something that they are winning
• 7:04
  or they just feel like it's pointless doing it right.
• 7:07
  It's pointless doing this if there's nothing like if we're
• 7:10
  not going to find a way to win, if there's no way for me to
• 7:13
  really win, then why am I doing what I'm doing right now, right?
• 7:17
  Why am I going through what I'm going through right now if
• 7:20
  there's really no way for me to win or to defeat this or
• 7:23
  whatever the case may be? How is this happening?
• 7:26
  Why is this happening? So This is why I tell this is
• 7:29
  this is the point I try to drive home to so many people is that
• 7:32
  like the more you, when you're dealing with the narcissist, the
• 7:34
  more you're dealing with this person, the more you understand
• 7:36
  this person. It's like you see that they
• 7:38
  can't see the world outside of themselves.
• 7:40
  Like it's very hard for me to see the world outside of who I
• 7:44
  am and how it affects me directly, right?
• 7:47
  It is. That's why I, like so many
• 7:48
  narcissists, are behaving in a way that affects you in a
• 7:52
  negative way. And you're trying to convey to
• 7:54
  them like, hey, this hurts my feelings.
• 7:56
  Hey, I don't like when you talk to me this way.
• 7:59
  Hey, this sucks. Can you treat me better?
• 8:01
  You're begging and pleading. But narcissists don't see
• 8:04
  outside of themselves. Like we can't we, it's hard for
• 8:07
  us to see outside of ourselves and how this affects me or how
• 8:10
  I'm going to be dealing with this, right?
• 8:12
  It's very difficult for me to just understand the how this is
• 8:15
  hurting you view how my actions are affecting others.
• 8:18
  And guess what happens when narcissists start to feel like
• 8:21
  their actions are affecting other people?
• 8:23
  They typically will try and shut down, right?
• 8:27
  This is what we face right here. Like you might actually get a
• 8:29
  narcissistic person right to start to see how their actions
• 8:33
  are directly affecting somebody. But then guess what happens?
• 8:36
  They'll shut down. You'd be like, damn it.
• 8:38
  We were so we and we were so close.
• 8:40
  We were so close to getting this to happen.
• 8:42
  We were so close to making this to happen right here, blah,
• 8:45
  blah, blah. And then it doesn't happen like
• 8:47
  because they shut down, they get angry at you.
• 8:51
  They do all this other stuff right here, right?
• 8:54
  This is what typically happens. You have to focus on yourself.
• 8:58
  You have to focus on your healing.
• 9:00
  You have to focus on your growth because the more you do, the
• 9:03
  more you focus on your healing, the more you focus on your
• 9:05
  growth, the better off that you will feel.
• 9:08
  I promise that you will. You know the more you heal, the
• 9:11
  more you grow, the more you thrive.
• 9:14
  I promise you, you will feel better because trying to get a
• 9:17
  narcissist to see how they affect you, it just it's very
• 9:20
  difficult y'all even for me, even for me how, how far how
• 9:25
  deep in the therapy am I right now?
• 9:27
  I am 8 years, this is year 8 right here in deep in therapy.
• 9:31
  And it's still hard for me sometimes to realize how my
• 9:34
  words and my actions are affecting other people around me
• 9:37
  because I'm still self-centered, right?
• 9:39
  I'm still I'm still at the center of my own universe and
• 9:43
  it's very difficult still for this to this day, for me to just
• 9:46
  think outside of myself, but I do it right.
• 9:49
  I said it's very difficult. It's not impossible, but for me,
• 9:51
  I do it because I love my kids. I love my I love my family.
• 9:54
  I love my life. And this is no way I know.
• 9:57
  I just say it like whistle Lee. So they don't change.
• 9:59
  That means that they don't love us.
• 10:00
  Did I say that? Did I say that?
• 10:04
  You know what I'm saying? Did I say that?
• 10:07
  It's just in this, in this space right here, you know, that's
• 10:10
  where the mind is going. This is what people, this is how
• 10:13
  people play, play these things out like they want anything and
• 10:17
  everything to happen in order for themselves to try to move
• 10:20
  forward and try to heal. Like narcissistic people are
• 10:23
  thinking about themselves, like we see the world and how it can
• 10:27
  serve us as opposed to our effect on our direct
• 10:30
  environment. And if we feel like we are
• 10:32
  having, and this is going to be crazy, something sounds not,
• 10:35
  it's going to be, it's going to sound crazy.
• 10:36
  And sometimes when we realize we're having a direct dark
• 10:39
  effect on our environment, guess what happens?
• 10:43
  We change our environment, we move, we disappear, We do this
• 10:48
  type of stuff right there, right?
• 10:49
  With so many people change their situations and all this other
• 10:53
  stuff. This is what happens, right?
• 10:56
  So I tell people all the time, like, you have to protect
• 11:00
  yourself. You have to guard yourself
• 11:04
  because they don't realize the effect that they're having.
• 11:06
  And then, yeah, sometimes, yeah, sometimes.
• 11:08
  Can a narcissist be vulnerable to you and just start crying or
• 11:11
  be sad about how you're feeling and how you're hurt and stuff
• 11:14
  like that? Yeah, they can be sad and
• 11:16
  whatnot. But again, are they going to
• 11:18
  change their behaviors for the good?
• 11:20
  Are they going to morph and do something different?
• 11:22
  Are they going to behave better? Are they going to act better?
• 11:25
  Are they going to do stuff like this?
• 11:27
  You know, this is what happens. This is what you're going to go
• 11:31
  go through. This is what you're going to
• 11:32
  experience. So this is the mentality, y'all.
• 11:35
  This is what you had to go. I say.
• 11:36
  I'm not saying like me and the diagnosed narcissist myself, I I
• 11:42
  can find compromise. I really can, right?
• 11:45
  I've talked, I've talked to other, I talked to other
• 11:47
  diagnosed narcissist that are actively in trying to get into
• 11:51
  recovery and trying to get into healing and trying to get into
• 11:53
  therapy and stuff like that or people that think they're
• 11:55
  diagnosed, they are trying to find compromise.
• 11:57
  But yeah, I'm just telling you when you get conditioned, like I
• 12:01
  was 32 years old when I started therapy, right?
• 12:03
  So when you have 30 years of prior conditioning about
• 12:08
  therapy, about how, how to protect yourself and how to, you
• 12:12
  know, do stuff for yourself and how the, the effect that you
• 12:15
  have on the world in general, when you have that level of
• 12:18
  conditioning, it becomes very difficult to find to do things
• 12:22
  otherwise, right? It becomes uniquely difficult to
• 12:25
  figure out a way to heal and move forward.
• 12:28
  It becomes, it comes uniquely difficult to change 30 years of
• 12:34
  programming overnight. The 30 years of it's kind of
• 12:37
  like getting it's damn near what what's it called?
• 12:39
  Narcissistic LASIK, right? It's hard to get LASIK right now
• 12:43
  after 30 plus years of seeing the world a certain type of way.
• 12:46
  Now we got to go on the go under the knife and hopefully come out
• 12:49
  and see the world differently. Now, there's no narcissistic
• 12:52
  LASIK, right? This takes time, you see, You
• 12:55
  got to take time. You got to you got to exercise
• 12:57
  them eyes, right? You got to do 10 sets of empathy
• 13:00
  blinks. You see what I'm saying?
• 13:01
  10 set. Three sets of 10 of empathy
• 13:04
  blinks. Empath blinks.
• 13:06
  You see what I'm saying? Eyes closed.
• 13:08
  Hold it, hold it, hold it. Open them up.
• 13:11
  Open, open, open. You see what I'm saying?
• 13:13
  It's silly, this, it's dumb, it's dumb stuff.
• 13:15
  But dude, can narcissistic work? Can narcissistics, can
• 13:19
  narcissistic people work on their behaviors if they so
• 13:21
  choose to? Y'all they they have to want to
• 13:23
  work on seeing the world differently because narcissists
• 13:26
  try to avoid being bad people. Believe that sounds stupid as
• 13:30
  hell in the video. I'm unfollowing you right now.
• 13:32
  No, you have to listen to me. They want to avoid being bad
• 13:36
  people. They avoid looking like bad
• 13:37
  people, avoid feeling like a bad person.
• 13:39
  But why do they do do bad things?
• 13:41
  That's where the lack of control comes into play right there,
• 13:43
  right where they have no impulse control.
• 13:45
  They they're like, you know, they tend to be very emotionally
• 13:48
  dysregulated. So when you see the world is all
• 13:50
  good and all bad, when you do something or you, when you like,
• 13:53
  when you bring something up to the narcissist that hurts, that
• 13:56
  has hurt your feelings, they feel all bad.
• 13:59
  So they go on the defensive and they feel like they have to
• 14:01
  attack you. I feel like a bad person because
• 14:04
  you, you, you said I hurt your feelings because I hurt you.
• 14:06
  I did something to you. Now I have to hurt your feelings
• 14:09
  back. You see how that works right
• 14:10
  there? This is the this is the space so
• 14:12
  many of us fall into. You know, I tell people, you
• 14:14
  have to heal. You have to grow.
• 14:16
  You have to work your way through it.
• 14:17
  You have to keep powering up. Y'all, you, you.
• 14:19
  Yeah, you might not. It might not seem like it, but
• 14:21
  you're on the path to healing. You know, if there's a
• 14:23
  narcissist watching this right now, you're on the path to
• 14:26
  healing. If you can course correct your
• 14:28
  behaviors and find a compromise in your life within yourself as
• 14:33
  well. You have to.
• 14:34
  The first person a narcissist has to compromise with is
• 14:36
  themselves in their damage in their child, right?
• 14:40
  But anyways, y'all I hope this video watches some clarity.
• 14:42
  Again, my last plea. Hit the subscribe button.
• 14:45
  Please please please. I appreciate everyone of y'all.
• 14:49
  Like, share, comment, do all the other good stuff y'all.
• 14:52
  And as always, mental illness is out.
• 14:55
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 14:57
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
• 14:59
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 15:01
  to the channel. Helps reach more people and
• 15:03
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 15:05
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 15:07
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 15:10
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:12
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 15:14
  video. Peace.