Latest / The Starfish Storytellers / Season 5, Episode 7: Stroke of Success - Redefining Ambition, Resilience, and What Matters Most with Roderick Jefferson

Transcript

Season 5, Episode 7: Stroke of Success - Redefining Ambition, Resilience, and What Matters Most with Roderick Jefferson · The Starfish Storytellers

0:00
Welcome to the starfish storytellers the podcast
0:03
that makes a difference one story at a time by
0:05
bringing storytelling to life So imagine you're
0:12
flying around the world and you're on corporate
0:14
helicopters and corporate jets and You're living
0:19
the lifestyle of a corporate executive and everything's
0:23
going well, you've got a large organization,
0:26
you're with the right companies, you've got the
0:29
right logos, you've got the right positions,
0:32
and you're loving life. But the problem is something's
0:36
missing. And that something is your why. And
0:41
that's what I lost, was my why. For me, it had
0:45
always been about provide and protect. Now I
0:48
felt like I was definitely providing. They were
0:50
living a great life. They were in the right neighborhoods,
0:53
my kids were going to the right schools, we were
0:55
in the right school districts, my wife had her
0:58
circle of friends. But I was missing something.
1:02
Because while I was flying around, and in 18
1:05
months, I was in London, Paris, Geneva, Sao Paulo,
1:08
Rio, Toronto, Beijing, Hong Kong, Sydney. By
1:13
myself. When it should have been the best time
1:17
of my life. I felt like, oh, I only wish my family
1:21
could be here with me. And then I didn't really
1:25
realize it until in one of between my two trips,
1:29
I flew home. I was talking to my wife and I said,
1:33
babe, I have been on the road for two weeks straight
1:36
in hotels. I just want some greasy tacos. And
1:43
it was that moment where my entire life changed
1:45
because my young son at the time and look me
1:48
in my face and he said, Dad, Thursday's shaking
1:53
big night. And that was the moment that I realized
1:57
they had an entire life, an entire routine, an
2:02
entire family unit that didn't include me. I
2:08
was talking to my wife and she said, I didn't
2:10
sign up to be a married single mom of two. So
2:17
what did I do? Slow down all my travels. Stay
2:20
home for a while. And then I felt myself missing.
2:24
I don't know if I was missing being on the road
2:26
or if I was missing that placation that was happening
2:32
or placating should I say that was happening
2:34
to me because I was an executive. The doors open.
2:38
One week I'm having lunch with President Obama.
2:41
The next week I'm with the Queen of England.
2:43
The next I'm with head of states. So I can imagine
2:46
that red carpet life that I was living and then
2:49
when I came home I was just dead and that's the
2:53
problem. I was just dead never been just dead
2:58
So as my kids grew up, I asked them later in
3:01
life I provide a good life for you. They said
3:04
no, no, no, we had a great life And here's where
3:08
everything changed They said we would have given
3:11
up all of the vacations all of the clothes, the
3:17
cars, everything for you to be home. And that
3:22
hit me like a ton of bricks. But that was just
3:26
the beginning of things. It was from there. I'd
3:30
say things fell off. No, I fell off a cliff.
3:36
I was in LA, and I'm a professional keynote speaker.
3:39
So I'm paid to talk. I was in LA. preparing for
3:45
a keynote. The night before I was with my team
3:48
we were out to dinner and I remember looking
3:50
up from the table and my team had the scariest
3:55
look on their faces I have ever seen from them.
4:00
What had happened is I'd fallen asleep during
4:03
the middle of a sentence. So of course I joked
4:07
it off and I said, I don't know, I'm getting
4:08
old, about to hit, you know... middle age, as
4:13
they say, right? Maybe I've got narcolepsy, I
4:17
don't know. I said, but either way, I'm gonna
4:19
go back to the room. I'm gonna go prepare for
4:22
my keynote tomorrow. And I remember walking back
4:26
to my room, and I was exhausted on a level that
4:29
I've never felt. I actually had to remind myself,
4:32
lift your left leg, lift your right leg, lift
4:35
your left leg, lift your right leg. It felt like
4:37
I was walking in quicksand. And I got back to
4:41
my room, did a little work, shower, shave, got
4:46
ready for the next day, ironed my clothes like
4:48
I always do, went to sleep. Now, the next morning,
4:52
every morning, my wife and I jump on a call and
4:55
we connect on what's happening at home, here's
4:57
what my agenda looks like, what your day looked
5:00
like. And what I heard is what you're hearing
5:03
right now, clear articulation. But what my wife
5:08
heard was... Because I had had a massive stroke
5:14
in the middle of the night Now I want to be very
5:19
clear on this According to the American Stroke
5:23
Society 98 % of sleep stroke victims never wake
5:28
up So that's miracle number one So as my wife
5:33
is walking me through a protocol and thankfully
5:35
she understood the protocol and she knew the
5:37
steps because a friend of hers just a few weeks
5:41
later had had a stroke while she was on the phone
5:43
with her. And so she asked me, count to 10, come
5:50
on, babe, 1, 12, 26, 95, 63, 14, two. She said,
5:58
say your ABCs. I think I can say my ABCs. At
6:03
least I thought I could. A, B, X, Q, T, L. P
6:08
.N .J .D.? called Phagia, medically. Thankfully
6:40
she called one of the guys, Tim Carlson. I say
6:43
this every time I tell this story, and I'll say
6:46
it again. Thank you for saving my life. Because
6:50
he took me to the emergency room. We go to the
6:53
emergency room, and I don't know about you, but
6:55
it usually takes a while to get in and get out.
6:59
They took me in right away because Tim told him
7:03
he has a heart condition. Hypotrophio. Hypatrophic,
7:07
excuse me, cardiomyopathy. Hypatrophic cardiomyopathy.
7:12
You say that fast three times. What it is, is
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I literally have a really, really big heart.
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But the normal heart squeeze on average between
7:21
65 and 75%. When it gets down to 20%, cardiac
7:26
arrest, you die. I was at 22 % heart function.
7:32
They gave me a 2 % chance to live. Clearly that
7:37
wasn't enough because 90 minutes later they released
7:39
me from the hospital Because I made such a stink
7:44
that I need to get home I'm flying home today
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so fast forward we land In San Francisco Bay
7:52
Area My wife picks me up literally in a wheelchair
7:57
passed out She rushes me to the emergency room
8:01
about 20 25 minutes away. My son takes my vehicle
8:05
takes it home They rushed me directly into ICU.
8:12
The first thing the neurologist said to my wife
8:14
is, your husband is a miracle. There is no reason
8:18
he should be alive medically. Cabin pressure,
8:21
altitude, mid -stroke, combinations for death.
8:28
So they're checking me now the neurologist is
8:31
there, the cardiologist is checking, and they
8:34
move me into a room actually quicker than it
8:39
took me to get in and out of the emergency room
8:41
in LA. So fast forward, I've been in the hospital
8:45
for about two weeks at that point, and life just
8:49
got worse and worse every day. My wife was coming
8:52
to see me because I should mention, this was
8:56
only five years ago. What was going on then?
9:00
COVID. So now I'm in ICU. with the sickest of
9:05
the sick. My kids can't come to see me. My wife
9:09
is the only one that's allowed to see me, and
9:10
I don't really want her there. So I say, don't
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come every day, come every other day. That night,
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I'm having a really difficult time breathing.
9:19
Suddenly, lights are flashing. Machines are going
9:23
crazy. Flashes are happening. And I hear, code
9:26
blue, code blue. And it's my room. Now, how all
9:32
the doctors and nurses read. come flowing in
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rushing in and I go from beep beep beep beep
9:38
beep beep beep I flatlined and I am medically
9:44
dead now for those that have a question about
9:49
near death experiences I did not see a white
9:51
light I did not leave the room I actually floated
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up to the corner of the room I'm looking down
9:58
on my body as the doctors and nurses are working
10:00
on me. They're doing chest compression. They're
10:03
sucking fluids out of me. And I looked to my
10:06
left and it's my mom. My mom died in 1999. Remember,
10:13
this was only five years ago. And I said, okay,
10:16
mom, I've done everything I can do here. I'm
10:19
ready to go home. Let's go. And she said, no,
10:22
baby, I was sent to tell you that one, they're
10:26
going to figure out what's going on and you're
10:28
going to be okay. And second, you have a new
10:31
mission in life. And you have to completely change
10:34
the way you've been living. No more flying around.
10:39
No more gallivanting. I need you to set your
10:42
feet and roots in the ground. And she also said,
10:47
I need you when you go back there. And she said
10:52
to carry an extra smile in your pocket. I didn't
10:55
understand what she meant by that. She said for
10:58
what she called the invisible people. the ballet
11:01
the waiters and waitresses the people that check
11:05
you in at the hotel someone that looks like they're
11:08
having a rough time in the supermarket because
11:11
that may be the only time that entire day that
11:16
they feel seen and it's your job to give them
11:19
one person a smile every day that may not have
11:23
gotten it before i said i can do that absolutely
11:27
but i've got questions mama Where'd you go? She's
11:32
gone, but I'm still flatlined and it sounds like
11:37
Charlie Brown's teacher. I could hear them talking,
11:41
but I could not hear what they were saying So
11:44
now I get sucked back into my body and my chest
11:47
is killing me from the chest compressions And
11:54
now I hear the one word that no one ever wants
11:57
to hear clear He's rubbing the paddles to come
12:02
down and shock me to hopefully restart And I
12:07
thought to myself no, please don't do that that
12:10
is don't do do not zap me And I'm still hearing
12:15
And as he comes down probably an inch or two
12:21
away from my body I Hear beep beep and I reach
12:28
out and I grab his hand. Thank God he's on my
12:31
right side because remember I said my entire
12:34
left side is parallel. If you fast forward I've
12:37
now taken speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational
12:41
therapy, I can use a real spoon again, I can
12:44
tie my shoes, I can close the zipper. All these
12:47
things were not guaranteed and that takes me
12:51
back to my why. That's what really matters to
12:55
me. And since then, the one thing I've learned
12:58
is I don't hold off today what I can do tomorrow,
13:02
because I don't know if I'm going to be here
13:03
for tomorrow. And I also never, ever, ever forget
13:09
my wife. Provide. And. And. And. And. Protect.
13:18
Because when I was lying in that bed, I wasn't
13:21
thinking about, oh, my next keynote. Oh. my pipeline
13:25
oh my clients i had one prayer every single night
13:30
it wasn't oh god let me get back so i can go
13:33
and do this and that it was god please just let
13:37
me wake up tomorrow and i swore if i ever got
13:40
back that i would never go back to where that
13:43
was that got me there that level of stress i
13:49
left corporate completely walked away from it
13:53
because no job no salary, no bonus, no amount
13:57
of equity in stock is worth your life. And my
14:03
question to you is, while you're out doing what
14:06
you do every day, as you're watching and listening
14:08
to this, what's your why? And are you taking
14:13
care of and honoring that why? You want to be
14:16
successful? Go right ahead. But never forget
14:20
this one question, at what cost? Because it's
14:24
going to cost you something. Sometimes it's relationships.
14:28
Sometimes it's marriages. My case is my life.
14:33
If you've learned anything from the story I've
14:36
told you, that no amount of money, prestige,
14:45
perceived power, whatever it may be, is worth
14:48
giving to your life. Because the corporate structure,
14:52
even as an entrepreneur, It's here to make a
14:55
profit, not friends. But we talked about this
14:58
recently. And I said, whenever I do, go. And
15:02
I'm gone, gone. No one's allowed to talk about
15:08
any of my keynotes, any of the bestselling books
15:12
that I wrote. I don't want to hear about this
15:14
story when we worked and we were on this trip
15:16
together. I said to my wife, you're only allowed
15:20
to tell stories about one thing, one thing only.
15:24
How did I feel when he walked away from me after
15:27
having a conversation? Did I feel better? Did
15:31
I feel seen? Did I feel loved? If so, then I
15:38
now, whenever I go and I see my mom again, I
15:41
can look her in the face and smile and say, I
15:45
always kept an extra smile on my face. Hello,
15:59
my name is Liana Henry, and welcome to the Starfish
16:01
Storytellers. I'm the CEO of the Black Dog Group
16:04
and your host. I'm passionate about storytelling
16:07
and on a mission to raise up the next generation
16:10
of storytellers. We're called the Starfish Storytellers
16:13
after the moral of the Starfish story, which
16:16
centers on the power of one. Because no matter
16:19
how big the challenge, every action matters.
16:22
One step, one starfish, and one story at a time.
16:25
Every episode, we'll welcome a new storyteller
16:28
who will inspire and connect with you. So thanks
16:30
for tuning in. Now let's get started. Today's
16:35
episode is stroke of success, redefining ambition,
16:39
resilience, and what matters most. And with me
16:41
today is Roderick Jefferson. Roderick is a senior
16:44
executive, global keynote speaker, sales enablement
16:47
leader, and author with over 25 years of experience
16:51
helping organizations build stronger. more aligned
16:54
paths to success. As you just heard in his story,
16:57
he's worked with some of the world's most recognized
16:59
companies, including Salesforce, PayPal, Oracle,
17:03
and AT &T, and is widely respected for his ability
17:06
to bridge gaps across teams and drive meaningful
17:09
results. But beyond his professional accomplishments,
17:13
Rodrik is also the author of Stroke of Success,
17:16
a deeply personal and powerful story born out
17:19
of a life -altering experience, the one you just
17:21
heard. After surviving a near fatal stroke in
17:24
his sleep, as you heard, an event that gave him
17:27
just 2 % chance of survival, he was forced to
17:31
confront not only his physical recovery, but
17:34
the definition of success that had been living
17:36
by for years. And through his work today, Roderick
17:39
helps individuals and organizations rethink ambition,
17:43
resilience, and what it truly means to succeed,
17:47
reminding us that achievement should never come
17:49
at the cost of our health, our relationships,
17:53
or our sense of purpose. So welcome to the Starfish
17:56
Storytellers, Roderick. We're really happy that
17:58
you're here. Thanks for having me. I am incredibly
18:01
honored to be here. Thank you. So we've heard
18:06
your story, you've talked a little bit about
18:09
yourself, but is there anything else you'd like
18:10
to add as an introduction? Yeah, I have the cutest
18:15
two -year -old granddaughter in the history of
18:17
man. You know, this is another part of that story
18:21
where my daughter and her husband and family
18:25
lived an hour away before all of this happened.
18:29
They now have a home six minutes away from us
18:31
because she didn't want to miss miss out on the
18:37
little one getting to know grandma and grandpa
18:40
and Yaya because although I was gone. Oh, I'm
18:44
here now and every opportunity that I have. That
18:48
little girl is hanging out with us and she's
18:50
crazy about her grandpa and her. Yeah. Yeah.
18:55
Makes my soul smile. Thank you for telling us
19:01
your story. It's so interesting that you were
19:04
talking about and saying the things that you
19:05
were saying was I just recently had read on,
19:09
um, on LinkedIn. A previous guest had posted
19:14
something and it was a story of She had attended
19:17
a, like an investor, a women investors, women
19:20
entrepreneurs conference. And one of the investors
19:24
said as an entrepreneur, especially as a woman
19:27
entrepreneur, do something every day that reminds
19:30
you that you're a human. And I was so struck
19:35
by that statement. And then just to hear you
19:39
reiterate that as you spoke about, take care
19:43
of yourself, do something every day for yourself.
19:46
I think as a business owner, we can forget to
19:51
do that. We get very caught up in all of the
19:53
things we have to do and we become machines in
19:57
a way. So I was really, as you were talking,
20:02
felt that statement came back and felt like your
20:05
story really reiterated that. I can resonate
20:08
with you because as adults, unfortunately, the
20:11
first thing that we lose as we quote unquote
20:14
grow up is fun. We can find time for anything
20:17
else, but fun. I've got a story about this one.
20:20
My son was probably two, maybe three years old.
20:24
And my wife had taken him to the park. He had
20:26
his talker truck and they had playing in the
20:28
dirt as boys do. And there was another little
20:31
boy there with him and they were playing, having
20:33
a great time. And then it was time to go home.
20:35
My wife said, okay, go say goodbye to your friend.
20:38
And then she goes and she buckles him into the
20:40
car seat as she's driving off. She goes, what's
20:43
your friend's name? and this was something that
20:47
sticks with me every single day and his answer
20:50
was blue shirt that's all that mattered he liked
20:57
Tonka trucks so did the little boy they both
20:59
like to play in the dirt there's no need for
21:03
pleasantries in introductions but think about
21:05
this as adults what's the first thing we do we
21:07
extend their hand we say hi my name is my company
21:11
is my title is What if more of us could treat
21:16
the world like my son just meeting a new friend
21:20
and his name's blue shirt? Think of how that
21:24
would change things in the world. Look, I'm not
21:27
here with rose -colored glasses, and I know where
21:30
we are right now, geopolitically and other things.
21:34
But that will not stop me, and I implore your
21:37
listeners to join me on this quest. to become
21:42
more people focused on who they met that day
21:47
versus their titles, their companies, their logos,
21:52
etc. I remember I got out of the car one time
21:56
early on after my stroke and I had the placard
22:01
and the first lady looked at me and I know what
22:05
that looks like. I'm 6 '4", probably, you know,
22:08
240 pounds and she's like... Dude, why are you
22:12
parked here? And I just looked at her and I kind
22:15
of bounced over to her and I said because I had
22:20
stroke. She went ghost -wise. I'm so sorry. No,
22:26
don't be sorry. It's okay. Actually, stroke was
22:30
the best thing that ever happened to me. But
22:31
I tell the story because never ever judge a book
22:37
by its cover, as we've all learned. Because you
22:41
don't know what's bubbling right below the surface.
22:44
You don't know what their disability is Alright,
22:48
I'm blessed. I'm at a point now where if I don't
22:51
tell anyone that I've had a stroke you wouldn't
22:54
know But you also would know that I take 14 pills
22:58
just to stay balanced every day So that I'm not
23:02
stuttering and stammering and slobbering all
23:04
over myself. I think just that thing that you
23:09
just said about taking the meds to keep you balanced
23:13
just reminds me about stories and how your story
23:20
highlights that it isn't always something we
23:23
choose and sometimes life sometimes forces us
23:26
to confront things and the narratives that we
23:31
build around success and ambition and identity
23:33
and assumptions like you're talking about, like
23:36
you found in that parking lot sometimes can feel
23:39
solid or justified and, but then something disrupts
23:44
it. And I think your story tells us that in these
23:47
moments storytelling becomes deeper. It becomes
23:49
a process of making sense of what happened. I'm
23:52
sure that that's been a big part of your journey.
23:55
You've shared with us that you were able to pivot
23:57
and really decide what matters. And after having
24:01
that experience of seeing your mom, you know,
24:04
you're rewriting that path. But your story was
24:08
telling us to, you know, reminding us to pause,
24:13
there's power in the pause, reflect, that sometimes
24:20
it takes a disruption to create a powerful turning
24:24
point. I know I've had some big disruptions in
24:27
my life that have been huge turning points and
24:29
I'm here today because of them. But sometimes
24:34
the most important stories that we tell are the
24:36
ones that are really going to allow us to redefine
24:39
who we are and to really look at what success
24:43
really can be. You had executive leadership roles,
24:47
global speaking, decades of experience, you were
24:51
a sales enablement expert. But I guess if you
24:55
had to describe, and maybe you've maybe done
24:58
this already, that first chapter of the story.
25:01
who you were before, that version of success
25:05
that you were living before the stroke. Can you
25:10
give us a little bit more around the success
25:13
definition at that time? Absolutely. It was a
25:18
badge of courage of how many hours I put in a
25:21
particular week. It was the fact that I was the
25:25
quintessential executive. I had the right suits.
25:29
I drove the Mercedes, my wife was a stay -at
25:33
-home mom, the kids were in the right school.
25:35
That was success. And you know, it's interesting,
25:39
as I look back now, it was about assimilation,
25:42
as a lot of our different periods of life are.
25:45
I was with a group of executives that were trying
25:48
to prove something I think to each other, and
25:52
I fell into that same trap where what I did became
25:56
more important than who I was. So I created this
26:00
character that I called RJ. He was the perfect
26:04
executive. But it got to a point to where I couldn't
26:10
even walk past the mirror and look at the mirror
26:11
because I loved myself. Probably a little too
26:14
much at times. But I didn't like myself. And
26:17
I didn't know how to get out of it. Someone said,
26:20
you've done some great things. What's the best
26:22
part of your career? I was like, oh, that's easy.
26:28
As I was coming up the ladder in corporate, I
26:32
wanted to be a director. That was my goal. I
26:34
didn't know what it meant. I just knew that it
26:36
had a different level of respect and a different
26:39
salary level. I had no idea what it really meant.
26:44
Then I got to senior director. Loved it. I said,
26:47
to answer your question, I would have never gone
26:49
above senior director. Because I was the happiest
26:54
at senior director. I knew my teams. I knew their
26:59
significant others. I knew the birthdays of their
27:02
kids. We'd send back and forth texts. And to
27:06
this day, I'm still with most of my, still connected
27:08
to most of my teams up to that point in my career.
27:12
It was when I put on that first VP title that
27:17
the bottom fell out. Because again, I started
27:19
to become who I thought I was supposed to be.
27:21
And I lost sight of people. I had program managers,
27:27
I had instructional designers, I had an assistant,
27:31
executive assistant. Before that, I had people
27:36
on my team. I lost sight of people. And then
27:42
it became all about me. And after that happened,
27:48
I changed everything. First of all, I... I literally
27:52
had a ceremony for killing and getting away from
27:56
that character, RJ. He's dead. He's behind me.
28:00
Even the things that I post, the way that I approach
28:05
my engagements with my clients, the way that
28:08
I engage and I approach my keynotes, the books
28:13
that I've written, all those things all have
28:16
one purpose and one purpose only. How can I help
28:19
others? How can I be a servant leader? I knew,
28:23
I thought I knew what it meant before. I knew
28:26
categorically what the definition was, but I
28:30
had never, I won't say never, I stopped living
28:32
it at senior director. But I had it to do all
28:36
over again. Keep me as a senior director. Keep
28:38
me grounded. Keep me grateful. Keep me humble.
28:44
Your story takes a dramatic and unexpected turn
28:47
with that stroke. That's something that you shared.
28:50
And as you said, it meant that only a 2 % chance
28:53
of surviving. So as you're thinking about that
28:56
moment, was it a turning point for you? Was it
29:01
something entirely different in the context of
29:03
your whole life story? It regrounded me. It made
29:07
me grateful. It certainly humbled me. To have
29:12
to learn how to walk and talk and use a spoon
29:14
and all that over again. I learned some things
29:20
throughout that that most don't even think about.
29:24
One is, I realized again because it was COVID,
29:28
the importance of physical touch and how important
29:31
that is as a human. When I didn't have it. When
29:35
I couldn't reach my arms out and put them around
29:38
my wife or around my kids. I could with one arm.
29:41
Right, but you don't realize what a real hug
29:45
means until you haven't had it And the other
29:51
thing I learned was how far my couches from the
29:54
bathroom When I had to walk or shuffle to get
30:00
over there because I had to go from being on
30:04
a walker to being on crutches to using a cane
30:10
To being able to walk again without my foot dragging
30:13
or a limp and I say I'm incredibly blessed because
30:17
When most think about stroke, I think it's not
30:20
to negate what I've had. Believe me. It was rough
30:22
But most think of stroke stroke. That's the arm
30:26
is pinned against the body The leg is dragging
30:29
your aphasia is so strong and you're stuttering
30:32
that you can't tell what people are saying I'm
30:36
blessed that I didn't have that but it's also
30:39
A curse. So you described stroke of success,
30:44
not just as a memoir, but as a roadmap. So at
30:48
what point did you realize that your experience
30:52
wasn't just something you survived, but something
30:54
that needed to be shared as a story to help others?
30:58
I know that you talked about in your story about
31:00
that out of body experience with your mom, but
31:03
was there a point where you knew you needed to
31:05
write the book? For the first time in my life,
31:07
I never thought like me. And I heard a voice
31:11
from my mom saying, why not you? And that's why
31:16
I wrote my book, Stroke of Success. I did not
31:19
want to write that book. Book gave me PTSD, put
31:23
me back in those dark days, back in those ICU
31:26
rooms, back in the COVID space. No, thank you.
31:33
But every day when I started to walk away from
31:36
writing this book, I'd hear my mom's voice say,
31:40
Baby It's not for you It's going to save other
31:45
lives. It's not for you It's gonna save lives
31:49
and I would go back to writing and I'm so glad
31:52
That I finished that book Well, it's it's yeah
31:57
sure. It's a great credibility piece. It's great
31:58
to say I'm a best -selling author yada yada,
32:01
but what's come out of that is The people from
32:05
all over the world that have reached out To say
32:10
thank you sometimes it's stroke survivors. I
32:13
don't think that they're anything other than
32:16
survivors But more importantly to hear from the
32:21
caregivers because they didn't sign up for that
32:24
They did not and they always get lost because
32:27
you just assume I'll take care of my parent.
32:29
I'll take care of my significant other I'll take
32:32
care of my child But who's taking care of them
32:36
the caregivers? so i always stop for a moment
32:39
whenever i do this and i say on behalf of all
32:41
of us that have gone through this whether it's
32:44
a stroke or something else where you're incapacitated
32:47
let's say thank you to all the caregivers for
32:51
unselfishly putting work in every single day
32:55
when you didn't want to you didn't feel it or
32:57
you just didn't even have the energy to do it
33:00
you manufactured it so thank you for not giving
33:04
up or walking away because that means the world
33:08
to those of us that you're taking care of. What
33:12
is a really moving caretaker story that you've
33:20
heard from folks who've reached out to you? Was
33:24
there something that you learned from someone
33:29
who read your book and said, I'm a caregiver
33:32
and this was my experience that you didn't know?
33:36
Absolutely, so my signature speech now is stroke
33:40
of success while I do still talking about I talk
33:42
about sales enablement I talk about AI but primarily
33:46
I'm talking about stroke of success and people
33:48
someone came up to me and said, you know my dad
33:52
had a stroke and read the book my dad had a stroke
33:56
and There were days where I was just so frustrated
34:00
with him then there were other days where I talk
34:04
about The Superman concept and that is and I
34:09
got it from my kids To my kids. I was Superman
34:12
There's nothing dad couldn't do. That's a big
34:16
strong strapping guy. So was this person's dad
34:19
and He said for the first time I Saw Clark Kent
34:27
the Cape fell off my dad I Had to take care of
34:31
him, you know, it's kind of the natural life
34:35
But not overnight Because he was healthy there
34:40
were no warnings It's just click and now his
34:44
was far worse to me. He was in that stroke stroke
34:47
situation and he said after reading your book,
34:50
I had a different level of understanding of What
34:55
he's going through and not just from my lenses
34:58
think about what he feels like Superman now and
35:02
the cape falls off And it gave me a lot more
35:04
patience working with him. He couldn't remember
35:07
things. He would say things over and over. You
35:10
know, dementia -like, if you will. But there
35:15
were times where I just needed a break. I wanted
35:16
to go and do fill in the blank. And I couldn't
35:20
because my first thought was, would he have left
35:25
me here and gone to do fill in the blank? And
35:29
I said, I'm glad you got a chance to see it from
35:31
the other side. Because while you're taking care
35:36
of them and he said what I learned out of this
35:39
was I'm not just his son. We went from being
35:44
friendly to literally becoming friends His dad
35:49
and him all over again Because he did what he
35:54
would do for a friend not just for his dad And
35:58
I thought wow, how cool is that? that out of
36:02
something that could have been so horrible turned
36:06
out and then unfortunately his dad passed away
36:09
and he said but i had no regret because i had
36:13
done everything that i could before he went and
36:19
his last words were thank you and he said now
36:25
that's what i take is that smile on his face
36:27
as he closes his eyes and i thought mission accomplished
36:31
when you wrote the book Cause I know you, you're
36:35
talking a lot from the sort of being on the other
36:37
side, you know, you're talking really in detail
36:40
about all the lessons that you've learned and
36:43
the guidance that you have and that motivational
36:48
sort of tone that you're sharing of like, you
36:52
know, people can't walk in your shoes, but you
36:56
can be sort of the trailblazer that's in front
36:59
of them on the path cutting down. the branches
37:02
in the way and pointing out the roots along the
37:04
way. It's up to people, obviously, to decide
37:07
if they're going to follow your guidance. And
37:10
I know that you said at one point that you just
37:12
didn't want to write the book because you had
37:14
to go back into the dark spaces and relive it.
37:19
But does the book have that immediately after
37:26
the recovery? Do you go into detail in the book
37:29
about this is what it was like having to try
37:31
to use a spoon and here's how I had to do that.
37:34
You know, these are the exercises I had to learn
37:36
how to do to have to learn how to speak again.
37:38
I mean, do you go into that in the book? I do.
37:40
Um, the book's actually written in three different
37:44
segments and I wrote it kind of like a play,
37:46
if you will, right? Act one was the rise as we
37:50
talked about in depth. Then there's the fall
37:53
of when I had stroke and then the third component
37:56
of the book is the phoenix rising from the ashes
37:59
and that's all the things that i had to go through
38:03
and not just physically the hardest part of a
38:08
stroke is mental no there were days where i couldn't
38:12
remember basic things so what i started doing
38:17
with my friends and family and my wife was i
38:20
would explain what you do with that object and
38:23
they would tell me the name of it. You know,
38:25
it's the thing where you pour coffee in and you
38:29
stir. Oh, you mean a cup. That's it. It's cup.
38:33
So it's something that slowly over time starts
38:38
to come back. And there are still certain days
38:41
where I'll get tongue tied. I call it stroke
38:44
brain. Right. Even to this day, there are times
38:48
and I can tell when I'm getting tired. My wife
38:50
can too, because My speech slows down my entire
38:54
physical movements. I'll walk slower, right?
38:58
So yeah, there's the whole component that tells
39:01
I didn't just go from a guy that was stuttering
39:04
and couldn't talk and use a spoon to suddenly
39:06
I'm back on the stage. Oh, no, no, no. It is
39:11
a marathon from the beginning that night until
39:17
the person that sits here in front of you today.
39:21
Even talk about what happens when I don't take
39:23
my meds I flew one time and I forgot my meds.
39:27
Oh very not good stuff and Actually when I speak
39:31
I have a video of me Stuttering really bad so
39:36
people could because it's easy for me to stand
39:38
up there and tell a story It's that moment that
39:41
hits you in the face when you literally see me
39:44
as a guy that could not get a full sentence until
39:49
the person's here. There's a lot of work. Like
39:51
I said, there's an enormous amount of prayer,
39:55
physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech
39:57
therapy, all over again. And then you go through
40:03
the reliving, if you will, of being that infant
40:08
that can't take care of yourself to that frustrated
40:11
teenager in each of the phases. Because for me,
40:15
as I said, my... The stroke was in my speech
40:18
center, which sits directly next to the emotional
40:24
center. So as my brain was swelling, it started
40:28
to overlap on the emotional center. And so I
40:32
just became just this blubbering, crying thing.
40:36
I'd say someone, I couldn't even say I had a
40:38
stroke. I would break into tears. I have no problems
40:40
showing emotion, but I didn't have any control
40:44
of it. Some people... get really, really mean
40:49
after strokes. And remember, it's not anything
40:53
they have control of. It just depends upon what
40:57
part of the brain and impact. Some days it's
41:00
patients. Oh, especially on the freeway. And
41:05
now what used to just drive me crazy. All right.
41:11
I'm like, look, I'm not in a hurry. Go. I don't
41:13
know. Maybe your person's in the hospital and
41:16
you need to get to them. I'm not in a hurry.
41:18
Go in front of me. I don't care. That whole we
41:21
beeping and yelling at people. I'm like, well,
41:24
first of all, people are shooting now, so I'm
41:25
not yelling at anybody. Right. And secondly,
41:30
the things that used to drive me crazy, I don't
41:33
even hit my radar anymore. And for our listeners,
41:38
whether they're in leadership or they're building
41:41
a business or they're just navigating their own
41:43
path. What would you say is a belief or a story
41:47
about success they might need to rewrite in order
41:50
to live this more whole meaningful life that
41:54
you've been telling us about? I was doing a keynote
41:58
last week with a group and I stopped and I said,
42:03
I got a couple of questions for you. How many
42:06
of you would say that you're really good at multitasking.
42:11
A punch of hands would go up and I'd go, do you
42:13
realize that there's no such thing as multitasking?
42:16
It's not possible. Because if you're doing more
42:18
than one thing, you're not really focused on
42:20
anything. And I go, now, how many people want
42:23
to say they're a multitasker and hands went down?
42:27
So I got another question for him. A couple of
42:30
questions. I said, we're at a hotel. You valed,
42:34
right? They wanna go, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
42:36
I go by show of hands. How many of you can tell
42:39
me what the valet's name is? What's the person's
42:42
name that checked them in, checked you in when
42:44
you came in? Cause they all have name tags. I
42:49
said, now let's go back to my story. As my mama
42:53
said, those are the invisible people. I said,
42:57
by the way, this is his name. This is her name
42:59
at the desk on the way out of here. Stop by,
43:02
say hi and thank her. For the time that you had
43:06
here Small things matter And they matter big
43:11
because when you say thank you and say their
43:15
name You're showing them that they've been seen
43:18
today You're not invisible anymore You're important
43:23
to me Small things matter. Yeah So that's all
43:32
the time we have for today, Roderick. Thank you
43:34
so much for joining us and reminding us that,
43:37
you know, through your stories, that it's not
43:40
just something we're telling, it's something
43:43
we're living. And we have this opportunity, you
43:46
know, you've shown us today, you got a second
43:48
chance, like we have an opportunity to live.
43:51
And sometimes, you know, it's in life's unexpected
43:54
moments that we're given that second chance to
43:58
rewrite what truly matters. So thank you so much
44:00
for being here. Thank you for having me. I truly
44:03
appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. And to our
44:07
listeners, whether you've first heard us locally
44:10
through BTV studios in Bedford, Massachusetts,
44:13
or you're tuning in from across the globe on
44:16
Spotify, Apple podcasts or Amazon podcasts. Thank
44:19
you for listening. We hope you enjoyed this episode
44:22
and we'll see you next time. Happy storytelling.