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Why You Should Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! And Why Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Is the Best Thing You Can Do for Your Career · Work It Like A Mum

• 0:01
  Elizabeth Willetts: Hey, I'm Elizabeth Willits and I'm obsessed with helping as many women as possible achieve their boldest dreams after kids and helping you to navigate this messy and magical season of life.
• 0:14
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm a working mom with over 17 years of recruitment experience and I'm the founder of the Investing in Women job board and community.
• 0:22
  Elizabeth Willetts: In this show, I'm honored to be chatting with remarkable women redefining our working world across all areas of business.
• 0:29
  Elizabeth Willetts: They'll share their secrets on how they've achieved extraordinary success after children, set boundaries and balance, the challenges they faced and how they've overcome them to define their own versions of success.
• 0:43
  Elizabeth Willetts: Shy away from the real talk?
• 0:44
  Elizabeth Willetts: No way.
• 0:45
  Elizabeth Willetts: Money struggles, growth, loss, boundaries and balance.
• 0:49
  Elizabeth Willetts: We cover it all.
• 0:50
  Elizabeth Willetts: Think of this as coffee with your mates, mixed with an inspiring TED Talk sprinkled with the career advice you wish you'd really had at school.
• 0:57
  Elizabeth Willetts: So grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, make sure you're cosy and get ready to get inspired and chase your boldest dreams, or just survive Mondays.
• 1:07
  Elizabeth Willetts: This is the Work it Like A Mum podcast.
• 1:10
  Elizabeth Willetts: This episode is brought to you by Investing in Women.
• 1:17
  Elizabeth Willetts: Investing in Women is a job board and recruitment agency helping you find your dream part-time or flexible job with the UK's most family-friendly and forward-thinking employers.
• 1:29
  Elizabeth Willetts: Their site can help you find a professional and rewarding job that works for you.
• 1:34
  Elizabeth Willetts: They're proud to partner with the UK's most family-friendly employers across a range of professional industries, ready to find your perfect job?
• 1:43
  Elizabeth Willetts: Search their website at investinginwomencouk to find your next part-time or flexible job opportunity.
• 1:52
  Elizabeth Willetts: Now back to the show.
• 1:54
  Elizabeth Willetts: Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Work it Like A Mom podcast.
• 1:58
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm chatting to one of my favourite people and a fantastic career advancement coach who I have learned so much from just from having our conversations.
• 2:08
  Elizabeth Willetts: So I hope that you're going to learn a lot by listening in today and, without further ado, I'm going to introduce you to the lovely Leanne Cooper.
• 2:17
  Elizabeth Willetts: If you're not connected with her on LinkedIn yet, please go and do that now.
• 2:21
  Elizabeth Willetts: Pause this podcast, go connect with her because she does my brilliant posts.
• 2:25
  Elizabeth Willetts: But Leanne is a career advancement coach and we're going to be talking today about fear and how to overcome fear in your career, because I know this is something that holds a lot of Leanne's clients back from achieving their full potential.
• 2:39
  Elizabeth Willetts: So thank you so much, leanne, for joining me today.
• 2:43
  Leanne Cooper: Oh, thank you so much for having me and thank you for that gorgeous intro.
• 2:47
  Leanne Cooper: I love this, thank you.
• 2:49
  Elizabeth Willetts: She's completely off the cuff.
• 2:50
  Elizabeth Willetts: I love Leanne Leanne's, a fellow Northerner, and so I feel like I get more Northern talking to Leanne Leanne's.
• 2:57
  Elizabeth Willetts: Like my North, my York bit, being down in the Doreen now.
• 3:01
  Leanne Cooper: You're right, I have got quite a strong accent and I think that the more you reach out like, the more gnawing you get by the end of the conversation.
• 3:07
  Leanne Cooper: So listeners can probably pick up on that as we go through.
• 3:10
  Leanne Cooper: So thank you for the intro.
• 3:11
  Leanne Cooper: Yes, I am a career development coach and I am a mentor, a trainer and a speaker and I provide career advancement support for women to help them to secure high-paying jobs that they love, enjoy, leading with confidence and authority, and be recognized and rewarded for their impact.
• 3:28
  Leanne Cooper: So I work with Women 1 to 1 and I also partner with organisations that are looking to retain and promote that brilliant female talent.
• 3:36
  Leanne Cooper: So that's a little bit about me.
• 3:38
  Leanne Cooper: You're right, liz.
• 3:39
  Leanne Cooper: We're going to talk about fear today.
• 3:41
  Leanne Cooper: Fear is something that comes up such a lot with my clients and pretty much every single one-to-one client.
• 3:48
  Leanne Cooper: To be honest with you.
• 3:48
  Leanne Cooper: We have conversations about fear and fear of different things, and I think fear sits behind so many of the decisions that we make or we don't make, and we tend to dress it up as other like surface level things.
• 4:01
  Leanne Cooper: So we might say, oh, it's because of lack of time or lack of resources or lack of knowledge.
• 4:06
  Leanne Cooper: We're honest if we dig in and we like peel back the layers of that onion a little bit, we find that they surface level excuses and the real reason that we're not taking action is because we're fearful of something and we're scared of what result might happen as a result of that action.
• 4:22
  Leanne Cooper: So it could be fear of failure, it could be fear of rejection, fear of making a mistake, of not being good enough, of not being liked like.
• 4:31
  Leanne Cooper: The list is endless, but the results can be really devastating.
• 4:34
  Leanne Cooper: Like you know, all the time I speak to brilliant women who are not achieving the full potential.
• 4:39
  Leanne Cooper: They're feeling unfulfilled.
• 4:41
  Leanne Cooper: They're not creating that legacy that they know, that they're capable of, they they're not sharing their incredible skills with the world.
• 4:46
  Leanne Cooper: And there's people out there that need those skills and they're not getting access to them.
• 4:50
  Leanne Cooper: And it's so many women operating at a lower level than they're capable of, not earning as much as what they deserve, all due to fear.
• 4:58
  Leanne Cooper: You must see that a lot in recruitment, liz, in the work that you do.
• 5:02
  Elizabeth Willetts: Absolutely.
• 5:02
  Elizabeth Willetts: I mean mean, you know, I've been fearful, we've all been fearful, sure, you know, especially when starting something new, and I think it is that fear of rejection that was definitely something impacted me, because I remember when I was back in recruitment agency, we used to cold call in day and I used to hate them, and it's that fear of having somebody on the phone not be very nice to you, and now it's putting something out there, potentially on LinkedIn, and having a lot of hate or whatever.
• 5:25
  Elizabeth Willetts: There is that fear, isn't it?
• 5:26
  Elizabeth Willetts: And I think it's that fear of rejection, it's probably something quite primal that we don't want to be cast out, maybe from the tribe I come in.
• 5:34
  Leanne Cooper: Absolutely that.
• 5:35
  Leanne Cooper: You're right and everybody experiences it and you talked about, like, your own experiences.
• 5:39
  Leanne Cooper: I've definitely been there as well.
• 5:41
  Leanne Cooper: Like I can completely relate to that.
• 5:43
  Leanne Cooper: I let fear keep me stuck for probably about 10 years.
• 5:47
  Leanne Cooper: I told myself all sorts of stories about why I couldn't change my career, but actually the bottom line was I was scared, I was frightened, I was worried, and fear shows up for every single one of us.
• 5:58
  Elizabeth Willetts: You're right and a lot of people are oh, it's not the right time, I'm going to do something.
• 6:01
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm going to do something.
• 6:06
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm going to start looking for a new job in September, because we're recording this that way in July.
• 6:08
  Elizabeth Willetts: But actually I wonder if it's that fear, because then they'll get to September.
• 6:09
  Leanne Cooper: Oh, actually it's not, I'm going to look, for you know, they'll keep pushing it back yeah, there'll always be those fears that pop up and I bet, like when you're talking to candidates as well, like you'll meet some really brilliant women and you'll want to put them forward for roles and they'll be like, oh, I don't know if I'm ready and I don't know if I'm good enough, and we hold ourselves back all the time, don't we?
• 6:27
  Leanne Cooper: Absolutely?
• 6:28
  Leanne Cooper: And I think a big part of like changing your relationship with fear, it's so, so important, like that's been a big part of like the changing of trajectory with my own career.
• 6:39
  Leanne Cooper: Like working on my relationship with fear, um, has been really, really, and it's meant that I've been able to make big changes that I'm so glad that I've made.
• 6:49
  Leanne Cooper: And that's what I want to talk to other people about today Listening to the podcast, like how I can help you to stop talking yourself down from the potential and start talking yourself up to it, because what you tell yourself every day is either going to build you up and get you closer to where you want to be, or it's going to break you down and stop you getting there.
• 7:05
  Leanne Cooper: So I've got three sort of actionable steps that people listening to this podcast can walk away and do after listening to it.
• 7:12
  Leanne Cooper: So I'm going to walk through them in just a second.
• 7:14
  Leanne Cooper: But first I just want to come back to a point that you made, liz, about it being normal and it being like, like a natural thing.
• 7:21
  Leanne Cooper: And I think a lot of the time we don't recognize this.
• 7:24
  Leanne Cooper: And I really want to stress, before we get into any sort of tips and strategies to deal with fear, I want to stress, like, how normal it is and we recognize this.
• 7:32
  Leanne Cooper: We don't recognize it enough, sorry.
• 7:34
  Leanne Cooper: So if we feel fear, if we think about taking an action, we feel some fear.
• 7:38
  Leanne Cooper: We mistake that as a sign oh, we're not ready or it's not meant for us.
• 7:42
  Leanne Cooper: That's absolutely not the case.
• 7:44
  Leanne Cooper: Fear is a normal emotion.
• 7:45
  Leanne Cooper: It's what happens when we're unsure of something.
• 7:48
  Leanne Cooper: So if we're stepping outside of our comfort zone, it's completely to be expected that we'd feel a different emotion to what we feel when we're inside that cosy, comfortable comfort zone.
• 7:58
  Leanne Cooper: It's a natural response in our body, a natural response in our brain when we interpret that threat, that sign of potential danger, and we feel that fear and our body responds in a way that makes us stop in our tracks and it's like a biological response to keep us safe.
• 8:12
  Leanne Cooper: So it's completely normal, but if we leave it unchecked, then that's when we have a problem.
• 8:18
  Leanne Cooper: That's when we start holding ourselves back and missing out on opportunities and not meeting our full potential.
• 8:23
  Leanne Cooper: So so it's really, really important that we recognise fear for what it is, but we check in with it.
• 8:28
  Leanne Cooper: We make a decision whether we're going to let it stop us from moving forward or not.
• 8:32
  Leanne Cooper: Or not, so what?
• 8:33
  Elizabeth Willetts: is that saying?
• 8:34
  Elizabeth Willetts: Isn't there feel the fear and do it anyway?
• 8:37
  Leanne Cooper: yeah, absolutely.
• 8:39
  Leanne Cooper: So we've got like three things to share with everyone that's listening.
• 8:42
  Leanne Cooper: The first one is an exercise called worry mapping.
• 8:46
  Leanne Cooper: Have you heard of this before, liz?
• 8:47
  Leanne Cooper: Oh, so I'll tell you about it.
• 8:49
  Leanne Cooper: It's a really useful tool to support with worrying and those fears that come up when we're decision making, because, you know, when we don't know what an outcome is going to be and we've got that element of uncertainty, it's a real breeding ground for fear, and one way to face these fears is to map them out.
• 9:04
  Leanne Cooper: So if you listen to this podcast now and you're not at home like you're out walking the dog or whatever and you can't write these steps down, don't worry.
• 9:10
  Leanne Cooper: You can just send me a DM on LinkedIn and I've got like a PDF that I can share with you with these steps on.
• 9:15
  Leanne Cooper: So don't worry too much if you can't write it down, but I'm going to walk you through some steps of what to do If you find yourself in this worry loop, if you find yourself wanting to do something, but that fear's stopping you.
• 9:26
  Leanne Cooper: So the first step is super straightforward.
• 9:29
  Leanne Cooper: So it's writing down the brain dump of the things that you're scared of, the things that you're worrying about, and even just the act of getting this stuff out of your head onto a piece of paper can potentially help you realize that some of these fears are implausible.
• 9:41
  Leanne Cooper: So that's the first step Just get it out of your head.
• 9:46
  Leanne Cooper: It doesn't need to just be whirling around in there.
• 9:47
  Leanne Cooper: Get it out of your head brain, dump it on a piece of paper, every single thing that you're worrying about.
• 9:50
  Leanne Cooper: Then step two is to draw three columns and at the top of each of these columns, one column is control, one column is influence and one column is concern.
• 9:59
  Leanne Cooper: And I want you to then put each of the worries into the most relevant category, depending on whether it's a worry, that you're worried about something that you can control, whether it's something you can influence, or whether it's just a wider concern that you've got but there's nothing you can do about it.
• 10:12
  Leanne Cooper: And doing this step really helps you to see clearly where to focus your energy and your time, because a lot of the time we spend worrying about stuff we can't control, we don't have any control over.
• 10:23
  Leanne Cooper: It's just a waste of energy.
• 10:25
  Leanne Cooper: And then the step three is give each fear or worry a score from naught to ten regarding the likelihood of it happening, and that really helps you with perspective.
• 10:35
  Leanne Cooper: So then the next one is to explore each worry, so each of the things that you've wrote down.
• 10:42
  Leanne Cooper: Explore each of them and look at how you might prevent them from happening.
• 10:46
  Leanne Cooper: And what that'll help you with is it'll help you to encourage practical action over time wasted just in your own head going round and round in circles, and when you've done that, it'll also give you that feeling of that sense of completion that comes from taking action.
• 11:00
  Leanne Cooper: We don't get that feeling when we're just stuck in the weary loo.
• 11:03
  Leanne Cooper: And then the next step is to explore each worry and look at how you'd actually cope if it were to happen.
• 11:10
  Leanne Cooper: So look at if the thing that you're worried about came true, look at what you do about it, and that what that helps with is getting us to see clearly that we do have the tools and resources, the capabilities, to deal with those worst case scenarios, and quite often we've dealt with something similar already, or even worse, like we've dealt with things that are worse than what we're actually worrying about.
• 11:32
  Leanne Cooper: So it helps us to see that if this worst case scenario came true, then we're stronger than we think we are and we can deal with it.
• 11:39
  Leanne Cooper: And then the final step?
• 11:41
  Leanne Cooper: After doing the exercise, the last step is ask yourself this question what is the most productive next step for me?
• 11:48
  Leanne Cooper: And then go ahead and just take that one step.
• 11:51
  Leanne Cooper: So by doing that, you're really stepping back into your power, taking back control of the situation and really attacking it in a methodical way, whereas if you don't do it, it's just in your head, isn't it?
• 12:03
  Leanne Cooper: It's just you and your thoughts going round and round and round in that loop and you're never actually moving forward.
• 12:09
  Leanne Cooper: So that's the first one.
• 12:10
  Leanne Cooper: Do you think that might be something that you try, liz?
• 12:13
  Leanne Cooper: That's helpful.
• 12:14
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm gonna try that, because I've had it where I feel like I'm worried about things and then they may be even materialized anyway yeah and you spend days, weeks, worrying about something that never actually happens yeah and it's horrible, isn't it?
• 12:26
  Leanne Cooper: when you're in your own head we've all been there, like going over and, over and over, you're just not present.
• 12:30
  Leanne Cooper: Are you like you know you've been sat like watching tv with your husband on a night or whatever, and like you're like staring at the screen but you're not there?
• 12:37
  Elizabeth Willetts: are you like you're just going around that scenario in your head that you were in and I don't know if this is a female thing because I think, well, my husband won't do this, but I can tend to.
• 12:45
  Elizabeth Willetts: You know, get the words out.
• 12:47
  Elizabeth Willetts: You know, always like the worst case thing, you know this could be the worst that's happening, it might happen and yeah, you're so right.
• 12:54
  Leanne Cooper: Do you know what?
• 12:54
  Leanne Cooper: I can't say that word either, liz.
• 12:55
  Leanne Cooper: I always struggle over that word.
• 12:56
  Leanne Cooper: Let me try and say it catastrophize.
• 12:59
  Leanne Cooper: That's that's the one.
• 13:00
  Leanne Cooper: You knew what I meant, though yeah, I know it's one of them words I always then fall over.
• 13:05
  Leanne Cooper: So yeah, you, do you like go down that road that's like so far down the line of worst case scenario and like just end up feeling horrible?
• 13:13
  Elizabeth Willetts: yeah, most of that never happens.
• 13:14
  Elizabeth Willetts: Anyway, that was a waste of time.
• 13:18
  Leanne Cooper: I myself threw that for nothing, yeah, so taking back control and completing that exercise can be really, really helpful.
• 13:25
  Elizabeth Willetts: So that's something to pop in your tool kit.
• 13:27
  Elizabeth Willetts: I do as well.
• 13:28
  Elizabeth Willetts: I don't know if this is.
• 13:28
  Elizabeth Willetts: I second guess myself a lot.
• 13:30
  Elizabeth Willetts: I think I haven't done a good job on this.
• 13:32
  Elizabeth Willetts: The client's gonna hate me, or you know, if you're working, my boss would hate me and you do that, and oh god, I've done a really bad job.
• 13:39
  Elizabeth Willetts: And then I had a client and I was like I didn't fill their vacancy and I felt really guilty about it because they're a lovely client and I was worried that they were gonna complain, but a lot and literally got in my head and then this week they just released a new job, a really nice email to me, and so actually I think they must.
• 13:57
  Elizabeth Willetts: They must like me.
• 13:58
  Elizabeth Willetts: Why do?
• 13:58
  Leanne Cooper: I yeah, you've made that up.
• 14:00
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, you made that whole thing up about I'm not liking you and you just like get bigger and bigger and bigger in your head, ended up feeling horrible as a result, and, yeah, I can completely relate to that and I think that's like an inbuilt thing as well, like our brain is predisposed to focus on the bad and we have to be like super intentional to bring that focus back to the positive.
• 14:20
  Leanne Cooper: It's like you know, if you like you deliver a work, like part of the work I do, I deliver workshops and I ask people to give me like feedback at the end, and if I got like 99% for something rather than being like, oh, 99%, I'm like what's that 1%?
• 14:34
  Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, and then I focus on the negative comments.
• 14:37
  Leanne Cooper: I'm like oh yeah, I know, and we're silly about what we do to ourselves.
• 14:43
  Leanne Cooper: So we've just got to take back that control really, and that exercise is a way of doing it.
• 14:48
  Leanne Cooper: Otherwise our brain just runs wild and it just doesn't help us, it doesn't serve us, it doesn't support us, it just keeps us small, makes us feel terrible.
• 14:57
  Leanne Cooper: So that's the first one.
• 14:57
  Leanne Cooper: So I'm glad that you like the thought of that and that's something that you might use and hopefully people listening can give that a go next time they are feeling like they're worried and they've got some fears coming up.
• 15:07
  Leanne Cooper: The second one, this one is, I call it, pass the microphone.
• 15:11
  Leanne Cooper: I don't think you'll have heard of this because I think I've made this one up myself, but so, yeah, pass, pass the microphone.
• 15:16
  Leanne Cooper: So if you're anything like me, that little voice in your head changes from being positive to negative and back to positive, like constantly, and I've got to keep working really hard to keep it in check, and definitely more so at certain times of the month and when I'm around certain people like maybe you can relate to that Like I have a few days every month where everything's terrible.
• 15:34
  Leanne Cooper: Like I, a few days every month where everything's terrible.
• 15:38
  Leanne Cooper: Like I see the worst in every situation.
• 15:39
  Leanne Cooper: I'm like quite negative, like worry about stuff, so I know that's coming up for me every month.
• 15:41
  Elizabeth Willetts: Does that coincide?
• 15:42
  Leanne Cooper: with your period.
• 15:43
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, before before I come on every single month, like Paul knows, I've got like that cloud over my head and I know that like that voice in my head gets louder at that time of the month.
• 15:54
  Leanne Cooper: So, yeah, that little voice in your head, and I want you to think about that little voice that pops up for you and and maybe there's certain things for you that changes that voice.
• 16:03
  Leanne Cooper: So, like for me, like I know that it happens at the time of the month, I know when I'm around certain people that can bring out like that self-doubt and that negative voice and that fear for me.
• 16:12
  Leanne Cooper: So I want you to imagine that your brain is like a conference call and there's like different elements of your brain that speaks up depending on your mindset, your mood, outside influences, where you are on your cycle, whatever it might be for you.
• 16:25
  Leanne Cooper: So it might be that at one point in time you recognise that the biggest voice in your head is fear, and fear might be saying things like, oh, don't apply for that job, yet that interview will be really scary, don't put yourself through it.
• 16:38
  Leanne Cooper: Or your ego might be the loudest voice and your ego might be saying like, oh, if you apply for that job and you fail, you're going to look really stupid.
• 16:45
  Leanne Cooper: Or it might be like the critic part of your brain might be saying, oh you crap at interviews, why are you wasting your time?
• 16:51
  Leanne Cooper: Oh you crap at interviews, why are you wasting your time?
• 16:54
  Leanne Cooper: Like just don't bother.
• 16:55
  Leanne Cooper: And like your perfectionist voice might be saying, oh, you need to wait until you've ticked everything on that list and you've practiced a thousand times and you're completely and utterly flawless and perfect before you can apply for the role.
• 17:04
  Leanne Cooper: So these are the, the voices that hold us back, and we have to recognize it when those voices are showing up and pass the microphone to another part of our brain.
• 17:12
  Leanne Cooper: So if you, if you imagine that inside out film yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:21
  Leanne Cooper: So you imagine that you are passing the microphone to another part of your brain.
• 17:24
  Leanne Cooper: So if you were to pass it to, like, the optimist part of your brain, what would they say?
• 17:28
  Leanne Cooper: Probably something along the lines of like this could be the opportunity of a lifetime for you.
• 17:33
  Leanne Cooper: Like everything will work out great, go for it.
• 17:36
  Leanne Cooper: If you were to pass it to the problem solver part of your brain, they would say like, oh, you can do it.
• 17:40
  Leanne Cooper: If a challenge comes up, you'll overcome it, like you always do.
• 17:43
  Leanne Cooper: You know you can manage to do it.
• 17:44
  Leanne Cooper: If you were to pass it to, like, the self-advocate part of your brain, they'd be saying like, come on, it's a great opportunity to showcase your skills and advance your career back yourself.
• 17:53
  Leanne Cooper: Like.
• 17:54
  Leanne Cooper: You have to be really, really in control of that voice in your head because if you let it stay, if you let fear have the microphone all the time, or ego of the microphone all the time, or your critic or that inner perfectionist, you aren't going to move forward.
• 18:06
  Leanne Cooper: Like you're not going to get where you need to be.
• 18:08
  Leanne Cooper: So don't let that voice up there go unchecked.
• 18:10
  Leanne Cooper: Like, be aware of that internal chatter and that internal conference call and pass the microphone to a part of your brain that's going to help you.
• 18:17
  Leanne Cooper: So what do you think of that one?
• 18:18
  Leanne Cooper: Liz, I love that one.
• 18:20
  Elizabeth Willetts: I was like yeah, and I think it depends, doesn't, like you say, sometimes some voices are more dominant, aren't they in your head, depending on where you are at in life, in your cycle, whether you're tired you know there's lots of different whether the kids are stressing you out, and yeah, and I think actually it's probably like looking after you, trying to look after yourself.
• 18:43
  Elizabeth Willetts: So then more positive voices maybe are stronger you've absolutely nailed it.
• 19:38
  Leanne Cooper: You're so, so right and I think having that awareness and recognizing what's going on and taking control of the situation is really, really important and, like for me, I told you about like those few days, like three days a month before I'm due on where, like I know that I'm not in the best mindset possible, I'm not in the best place, I purposely don't make decisions from that place.
• 20:00
  Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, I try and do that.
• 20:02
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm not going to make any decisions, I'm just going to make any decisions.
• 20:07
  Leanne Cooper: I'm just gonna plop through this week, yeah, and I'll pick it up in a few days because I know that I'll be in a much better place to to tackle it.
• 20:13
  Leanne Cooper: And like whatever problem I've got, like on that, on those days, like I might be saying to my husband like, oh, this is really bad and how am I gonna do it, and and then like a few days later, I'll be like, yeah, fine, I've sorted it, it's good, yeah, and it's like a different person.
• 20:26
  Leanne Cooper: So you just got to know yourself, haven't you?
• 20:28
  Leanne Cooper: And work with yourself and recognize that little voice in your, your head and I think that exercise around passing the microphone is really important.
• 20:35
  Leanne Cooper: Recognize who's like taking up so much space in your head and if you were to pass it on to some other part of your brain, like what would they say and how would that help you, is a key you know what else I think helps.
• 20:46
  Elizabeth Willetts: And this is like it's like exercise, because you do get endorphins, don't you?
• 20:49
  Elizabeth Willetts: And I always feel really good and I don't do enough exercise at all, but you know, on days and a half and I've had really good music.
• 20:57
  Elizabeth Willetts: Then I come back and I feel amazing.
• 20:59
  Elizabeth Willetts: You feel like you can conquer the world yeah, it does.
• 21:02
  Leanne Cooper: It helps so much, doesn't it?
• 21:03
  Leanne Cooper: And, like you know, if you go out like I've got like a certain playlist that I play and it's like it's you.
• 21:08
  Elizabeth Willetts: It's that thing, isn't it music can like, yeah, like really moves you up.
• 21:13
  Leanne Cooper: And if you recognize that you're in that place where your thoughts are quite negative, you actually have to do something to shift those thoughts, don't you like whether that's changing up your environment, changing the people that you're with, being conscious of the thoughts that you're having and swapping them for new ones?
• 21:26
  Leanne Cooper: Like you don't have to sit and tolerate it?
• 21:28
  Leanne Cooper: The stuff that you can do, so, yep, that's the second one, and then the third one.
• 21:33
  Leanne Cooper: This is more of like a mindset shift, really.
• 21:36
  Leanne Cooper: So I really want to encourage anyone that's listening to this to try the best to get their head around it, because I think it really really helps with managing that fear which inevitably, we said, comes up for all of us, and so it's about accepting.
• 21:49
  Leanne Cooper: But the only way to get rid of fear is to bring it with you.
• 21:53
  Leanne Cooper: You have to keep doing what scares you until it doesn't, and only by doing that will you get rid of that fear.
• 21:59
  Leanne Cooper: And this, like a real life example for me, is I remember, liz, the first time you said me do you want to come and do a LinkedIn Live?
• 22:06
  Leanne Cooper: And I was like in my head I was like absolutely not.
• 22:10
  Leanne Cooper: No, I can't think of anything more scary.
• 22:12
  Leanne Cooper: But to you I was like, oh yeah, thanks, liz.
• 22:14
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, that would be great, and I was terrified.
• 22:18
  Leanne Cooper: But I knew that that would be a really positive thing for me to do and that the only way that I was going to get comfortable with it would be to do it so and just keep doing it and keep doing it until it becomes something that is second nature, is within your comfort zone, and it's now like doing them with you or doing them with other people or doing them on my own, like I've done it that many times now.
• 22:37
  Leanne Cooper: It's not a big deal, it's not a stressful thing, something that I look forward to.
• 22:41
  Leanne Cooper: Like I look in my diary and see that me and you have got a LinkedIn live, but then I'm like brilliant, that's something I'm happy about, whereas at one part I'd be like, oh my god, linkedin live.
• 22:49
  Elizabeth Willetts: Release deep breaths like scared you're really good at this, you're better at this than me, because I've done some things this year and I thought, oh, I've not done very well.
• 22:57
  Elizabeth Willetts: And then and I need to take a leap out of your book and then retreat in back for a moment and thought, oh, I never want to do that again.
• 23:03
  Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, I know I'm speaking to you.
• 23:07
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm like, yeah, no, I've got to do it again.
• 23:08
  Leanne Cooper: I've got to do it again yeah, I think it's the only way, honestly like, so I'm gonna like walk you through um a scenario now to try and like bring this to life.
• 23:16
  Leanne Cooper: So, if you accept that the only way of getting rid of fear is to bring it with you and to do what scares you until it doesn't anymore, that's the way to to get rid of the fear, or dial the fear down.
• 23:26
  Leanne Cooper: So think of it like this imagine that there's like a pathway between you and your goal and you might have taken a few steps down that pathway already, or you might not have even stepped onto it.
• 23:35
  Elizabeth Willetts: You might just be at the end of it, I've probably taken a step, a few steps on it.
• 23:38
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm like, oh, this is a bit of a dark scary world back into my comfort zone.
• 23:45
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, so imagine it's like a path and I want you to imagine that you that on that path you come across, you set off walking and you come across a big stop sign and that stop sign represents fear.
• 23:55
  Leanne Cooper: And behind that stop sign there's like a fork in the pathway so you can go one way or the other and if you turn left it'll get you closer to your goal and that's the road that you want to go down.
• 24:05
  Leanne Cooper: But that fear sign, that stop sign, is blocking the route for you and it's stopping you in your tracks.
• 24:10
  Leanne Cooper: And what happens at this point is you contemplate, like what you just said, whether you should just turn back and not bother.
• 24:16
  Leanne Cooper: And sometimes we just think, oh no, and we turn back and we go back down the road and we don't even try.
• 24:20
  Leanne Cooper: Sometimes we think, oh, I, oh, I wonder if I wait here for a bit of time, sometimes a lot of time.
• 24:26
  Leanne Cooper: I wonder if it might, that stop sign might just magically, that fear might just go away if I wait and we wait and we wait and we wait, hoping that it'll disappear.
• 24:34
  Leanne Cooper: Sometimes we think I wonder if there's a way, like we can go around that sign or to make that sign smaller.
• 24:40
  Leanne Cooper: So a way around that fear or to make that fear smaller.
• 24:43
  Leanne Cooper: Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, we even think about going in that other direction, even though we know that it doesn't it takes us away from our goal and takes us to something less attractive.
• 24:52
  Leanne Cooper: We do that, we take that route because it feels easier, even though ultimately we know it doesn't take us to where we want to be.
• 24:58
  Leanne Cooper: And all of that is perfectly normal.
• 25:00
  Leanne Cooper: We know that fear is an emotion.
• 25:01
  Leanne Cooper: We know that emotions are natural responds to when something is scary and that fear is normal.
• 25:06
  Leanne Cooper: So it's really reasonable for your body to respond in a fearful way.
• 25:10
  Leanne Cooper: So, to be able to take the step that you want to take, we need to start by understanding that your brain is trying to do the right thing for you first of all, and it's telling you that something might be scary, but that's all right, because you can do scary things.
• 25:21
  Leanne Cooper: You've done scary things in the past.
• 25:23
  Leanne Cooper: You, me, every single one of us has done something.
• 25:24
  Leanne Cooper: That's all right, because you can do scary things.
• 25:25
  Leanne Cooper: You've done scary things in the past.
• 25:25
  Leanne Cooper: You, me, every single one of us has done something that's been scary and we've come through the other side of it.
• 25:29
  Leanne Cooper: So if you imagine that you're at that fork in the road again and that sign is still there blocking you, I want you to imagine that you're physically picking that sign up.
• 25:37
  Leanne Cooper: You don't have to avoid it, you don't have to wait till it goes away.
• 25:40
  Leanne Cooper: You don't have to wait till it goes away.
• 25:49
  Leanne Cooper: You don't have to go a different direction.
• 25:49
  Leanne Cooper: You literally just need to pick the sign up and take it with you so you can feel the fear and carry it with you down that pathway.
• 25:52
  Leanne Cooper: And it feels heavy at first carrying that fear with you, but the further that you walk down that path, the lighter it feels, until eventually it's gone and you're just walking freely down that path and then you'll probably come to something else, I guess but I guess you can use this, though I've done it before, I've carried it before.
• 26:06
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, exactly.
• 26:07
  Leanne Cooper: So if you think about that as of like right, I don't need to try and wait till it's gone.
• 26:11
  Leanne Cooper: I don't need to go another direction.
• 26:12
  Leanne Cooper: Just take it with me.
• 26:13
  Leanne Cooper: I think that is a really good mindset shift to get your head around.
• 26:16
  Leanne Cooper: So a quick thing to do.
• 26:18
  Leanne Cooper: I want you to think of your goals I know everybody listening to this like what's your goal?
• 26:22
  Leanne Cooper: Think about it, write it down, if you can, and then think about all the things stopping you from going down that pathway towards your goal.
• 26:28
  Leanne Cooper: So it might look something like this I want to leave my job, but I'm scared I won't get another job.
• 26:33
  Leanne Cooper: Or I want to leave my job, but I'm scared what people might think.
• 26:35
  Leanne Cooper: Or I want to leave my job, but I'm scared I won't enjoy a new job.
• 26:38
  Leanne Cooper: All of those things are perfectly reasonable things to think about, but if you stop your thinking there, you're not going to get where you want to be.
• 26:46
  Leanne Cooper: So you need to change that word but to the word, and so it becomes I want to leave my job and I'm scared that I won't get another job.
• 26:54
  Leanne Cooper: I want to leave my job and I'm scared of what people think.
• 26:56
  Leanne Cooper: I want to leave my job and I'm scared I won't enjoy my new job.
• 27:00
  Leanne Cooper: Pick up the sign, pick up the fear, take it with you and continue down the right path.
• 27:04
  Leanne Cooper: So really, really important to reframe the way that we see the fear and stop waiting for it to go away, stop trying to avoid it, stop trying to like, stop going down other paths that are not where we want to be.
• 27:17
  Leanne Cooper: Just take that fear with us.
• 27:18
  Leanne Cooper: Does that make sense?
• 27:19
  Leanne Cooper: Yeah, so I think that that's if you can get your head around that it's definitely a really, really powerful way of of approaching the situation.
• 27:27
  Leanne Cooper: So we have gone through there three things that you can do, like three actionable steps that you can do to move your situation forward and stop letting that fear run the show, like not letting fear make the decisions about your life, not letting fear rob you of what you rightfully deserve.
• 27:46
  Leanne Cooper: And I'd love to know if you're listening to this podcast, if you try any of these things and how you get on.
• 27:51
  Leanne Cooper: It's lovely, actually, because when we do a podcast, liz, I get some lovely messages from people that have listened saying oh, I just wanted to connect with you, liz.
• 27:58
  Elizabeth Willetts: I'm going to try and also I can't figure out the tech.
• 28:07
  Leanne Cooper: If all the tech works, I'm going to release it as well as the LinkedIn live, so we might be watching this on LinkedIn live.
• 28:10
  Leanne Cooper: So thank you for everyone that's listened and watched.
• 28:11
  Leanne Cooper: Oh yeah, definitely.
• 28:11
  Leanne Cooper: So if you do listen, you do watch and you try this stuff like send me a message and let me know how you get on, I love hearing from you and I love cheering you on.
• 28:17
  Leanne Cooper: And if you do decide after listening to this that you want some more help and you want to have a chat about personal support, absolutely just drop me a message and we can have a chat about that as well, no problem so it's leanne cooper.
• 28:28
  Elizabeth Willetts: If you're not connected or following leanne on linkedin, you're missing out.
• 28:33
  Elizabeth Willetts: So that is like the third action connect or follow leanne.
• 28:36
  Elizabeth Willetts: We'll put your linkedin handle in the show notes.
• 28:40
  Elizabeth Willetts: And where can people find you?
• 28:41
  Elizabeth Willetts: What sort of support do you offer individuals and where can they find?
• 28:45
  Leanne Cooper: find out more so I think the best way to get hold of me to be honest is on linkedin.
• 28:50
  Leanne Cooper: So I share loads of content on linkedin, post seven days a week.
• 28:53
  Leanne Cooper: You can dm me if you want to have a look at my website.
• 28:57
  Leanne Cooper: You can do that.
• 28:57
  Leanne Cooper: Is you first coached code at uk that shares more about me, my story, how I got to be doing the work that I'm doing.
• 29:03
  Leanne Cooper: There's some amazing testimonials and video testimonials from the brilliant one-to-one clients and group coaching clients that I've worked with and the organizations that I've supported as well.
• 29:12
  Leanne Cooper: If you want to have a little nosy around that, yeah, the best thing to do is just drop me a dm and say hello and we'll.
• 29:17
  Leanne Cooper: We'll have a chat from there brilliant.
• 29:19
  Elizabeth Willetts: I know you want your instagram as well.
• 29:20
  Elizabeth Willetts: If someone's listening to this and isn't on LinkedIn, you're on you First Coaching, I think, on Instagram yeah, I am.
• 29:26
  Leanne Cooper: I have got a Facebook and Instagram.
• 29:27
  Leanne Cooper: I don't use them, to be honest so don't go on, don't use I don't know the last time that I posted on there, but yeah, I think LinkedIn is the place to to find me.
• 29:37
  Leanne Cooper: I'm hanging out on there, probably a bit too much.
• 29:41
  Elizabeth Willetts: Yeah, no, you're brilliant.
• 29:42
  Elizabeth Willetts: Well, thank you, and I know you.
• 29:44
  Elizabeth Willetts: I think this will be out by time.
• 29:45
  Leanne Cooper: So now you've got a webinar in a couple weeks, but you regularly run free webinars as well don't you for people yeah, I try and show up as much as possible to support people who are not in a situation where they can fund one-to-one coaching.
• 29:58
  Leanne Cooper: So I share a lot of content online.
• 30:00
  Leanne Cooper: I've got like different resources that you can download and I've got a blog on my website and I do do masterclasses and workshops and webinars and stuff.
• 30:09
  Leanne Cooper: So if you connect with me on LinkedIn, you will be the first to know about all of that stuff as well brilliant, lovely, well, thank you ever so much for joining me.
• 30:16
  Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you.
• 30:17
  Elizabeth Willetts: Thank you for listening to another episode of the work it like a mum podcast.
• 30:23
  Elizabeth Willetts: If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and subscribe.
• 30:24
  Elizabeth Willetts: And Thank you for listening to another episode of the Work it Like A Mum podcast.
• 30:24
  Elizabeth Willetts: If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and subscribe, and don't forget to share the link with a friend.
• 30:31
  Elizabeth Willetts: If you're on LinkedIn, please send me a connection request at Elizabeth Willett and let me know your thoughts on this week's episode.
• 30:38
  Elizabeth Willetts: You can also follow my recruitment site Investing In Women on LinkedIn, facebook and Instagram.
• 30:43
  Elizabeth Willetts: Until next time, keep on chasing your biggest dreams.