Latest / Something Extra / Unlocking Your Purpose w/ Bennetta "Coach Bee" Raby

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Unlocking Your Purpose w/ Bennetta "Coach Bee" Raby · Something Extra

• 0:02
  Lisa Nichols: Chromosomes.
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  Lisa Nichols: Little strands of nucleic acids and proteins are the fundamental genetic instructions
• 0:08
  Lisa Nichols: that tell us who we are at birth.
• 0:10
  Lisa Nichols: Most people are born with forty six chromosomes, but each year in the United
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  Lisa Nichols: States, about six thousand people are born with an extra chromosome, making them a
• 0:18
  Lisa Nichols: person with Down syndrome.
• 0:20
  Lisa Nichols: If you've ever encountered someone with Down syndrome, you know that they are some
• 0:24
  Lisa Nichols: of the kindest, most joyful people you will ever meet.
• 0:27
  Lisa Nichols: They truly have something extra.
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  Lisa Nichols: My name is Lisa Nichols, and for thirty years, I have been both the
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  Lisa Nichols: CEO of Technology Partners and the mother to Ali.
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  Lisa Nichols: Ali has something extra in every sense of the word.
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  Lisa Nichols: I have been blessed to be by her side as she impacts everyone she
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  Lisa Nichols: meets.
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  Lisa Nichols: Through these two important roles as CEO and mother to Ally, I have
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  Lisa Nichols: witnessed countless life lessons that have fundamentally changed the way I look at the
• 0:54
  Lisa Nichols: world.
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  Lisa Nichols: While you may not have an extra chromosome, every leader has something extra that
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  Lisa Nichols: defines who you are.
• 1:00
  Lisa Nichols: Join me as I explore the something extra in leaders from all walks of
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  Lisa Nichols: life and discover how that difference in each of them has made a difference
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  Lisa Nichols: in their companies, their families, their communities, and in themselves.
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  Lisa Nichols: If you liked this episode today, please go to Apple Podcasts or wherever you
• 1:16
  Lisa Nichols: listen and leave us a five star rating.
• 1:20
  Lisa Nichols: Before we get started, I'm excited to share that my book Something Extra is
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  Lisa Nichols: now available.
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  Lisa Nichols: It is rooted in the remarkable spirit of our daughter, Ally, and the heartfelt
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  Lisa Nichols: conversations we've had on the podcast.
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  Lisa Nichols: You'll find wisdom and practical tools to ignite the leader within you and
• 1:35
  Lisa Nichols: uncover your own something extra.
• 1:37
  Lisa Nichols: Visit something extra book dot com or find it at Amazon or in all
• 1:41
  Lisa Nichols: major bookstores to order your copy today.
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  Lisa Nichols: I'm excited to have Bannetta or Coach Bee Raby on the show today. Coach Bee
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  Lisa Nichols: is the creator of Transformation University, an executive coach, and a
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  Lisa Nichols: facilitator.
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  Lisa Nichols: Well, Beneta, Coach Bee , welcome to the
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  Lisa Nichols: something extra podcast.
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  Lisa Nichols: I've been looking so forward to this.
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  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh my goodness.
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  Coach Bee: I when I think about, our first encounter, you know,
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  Coach Bee: I I always get so excited when it just it clicks.
• 2:13
  Coach Bee: Right?
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  Coach Bee: The camera is there.
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  Coach Bee: You don't have to work for it.
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  Coach Bee: It just pops out.
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  Coach Bee: So I am so excited to be here with you today.
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  Coach Bee: You have no idea.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh, well, I just know you are such a wise woman.
• 2:26
  Lisa Nichols: Oh.
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  Lisa Nichols: And I just know you've got so much good experience and just,
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  Lisa Nichols: words of wisdom, and I know that you're just gonna help our listeners.
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  Lisa Nichols: So I'm so excited about it.
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  Lisa Nichols: But I have to give a mutual shout out.
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  Lisa Nichols: I have to give a shout out to our friend, Kath Marston.
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  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: That's how you and I first met.
• 2:41
  Lisa Nichols: That's right.
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  Lisa Nichols: We started talking about what would it look to do, like, to do a
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  Lisa Nichols: women in technology conference in Saint Louis.
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  Lisa Nichols: And I'm really hoping we can get that rolling in twenty twenty six.
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  Lisa Nichols: But, it's coming.
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  Lisa Nichols: It's coming.
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  Lisa Nichols: And then just most recently, Dan Roberts said, hey.
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  Lisa Nichols: I want you to meet Coach Bee .
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  Lisa Nichols: I'm like, I beat you soon.
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  Lisa Nichols: I already know Coach Bee .
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  Lisa Nichols: That's right.
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  Lisa Nichols: Which is, you know, I mean, that's, that doesn't happen all the time.
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  Lisa Nichols: Right?
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  Lisa Nichols: You know?
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  Lisa Nichols: But, anyway but I was, grateful that for both of them
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  Lisa Nichols: and, for connecting us.
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  Lisa Nichols: Too.
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  Lisa Nichols: Because you are in Dallas.
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  Lisa Nichols: You're not from Dallas, but you are in Dallas, and I'm in Saint Louis,
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  Lisa Nichols: and thank God for technology.
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  Coach Bee: That's right.
• 3:24
  Lisa Nichols: yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: I wanna read just a little bit here, and then I've got lots of
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  Lisa Nichols: questions for you.
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  Lisa Nichols: And I just I just want our listeners to understand.
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  Lisa Nichols: And, I mean, when I'm reading this, Coach Bee , I'm I'm getting tired
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  Lisa Nichols: just reading this with all of the things that you have done
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  Lisa Nichols: and, I mean, it's just it's incredible.
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  Lisa Nichols: But here we go.
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  Lisa Nichols: Banana has worked across ten plus industries, different industries.
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  Lisa Nichols: That's crazy.
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  Lisa Nichols: A broad spectrum of organizations, communities, governing bodies, both domestic and
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  Lisa Nichols: international.
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  Lisa Nichols: Her reputation of collaboratively orchestrating very abstract and
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  Lisa Nichols: diverse challenges into a holistic congruent framework has
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  Lisa Nichols: proven to be consistently successful and transferrable knowledge to others.
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  Lisa Nichols: Her trademark workshops and national platform of the Power to Run, and I wanna
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  Lisa Nichols: talk more about that, And the transformation series drives agile
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  Lisa Nichols: mind shifts in areas such as strategic alignment, organizational excellence, workforce
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  Lisa Nichols: transformation, and equity.
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  Lisa Nichols: She imparts its wisdom to academic work and publications, speaking engagements,
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  Lisa Nichols: executive coaching, consulting.
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  Lisa Nichols: Your work has been recognized by entities such as the Technology Business Management
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  Lisa Nichols: Council, ServiceNow, CIO Executive Council, Innovation
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  Lisa Nichols: Enterprise, CRC Press.
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  Lisa Nichols: My goodness.
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  Lisa Nichols: BizClick Media, Business Chief magazine to just reference
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  Lisa Nichols: a few.
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  Coach Bee: Thank you.
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  Lisa Nichols: I mean, it's really crazy.
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  Lisa Nichols: You have held roles like the CTO.
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  Lisa Nichols: You've been the chief transformation officer, the chief of staff, chief information officer.
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  Lisa Nichols: I mean, the list goes on and on, and you've worked with ton of
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  Lisa Nichols: universities.
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  Lisa Nichols: I mean, Coach Bee , seriously, I just get tired of reading all that.
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  Lisa Nichols: It's incredible what god has allowed you to do.
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  Lisa Nichols: I mean, truly.
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  Coach Bee: Oh, yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: Truly.
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  Lisa Nichols: But let's let's start here and just because I'd love I knew that you
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  Lisa Nichols: grew up in New Orleans, and you later became a proud
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  Lisa Nichols: alum of University of New Orleans.
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  Coach Bee: Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: How did your upbringing shape the leader that you are today?
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  Coach Bee: Oh, wow.
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  Coach Bee: That is a big a big, comment there.
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  Coach Bee: So I I would tell you that,
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  Coach Bee: I was a girl, had a real strong girl dad, and
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  Coach Bee: he raised some really, really fearless women, which
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  Coach Bee: was a beautiful thing.
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  Coach Bee: I also had a very nurturing mom, meaning that,
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  Coach Bee: you know, even though her upbringing was not perfect,
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  Coach Bee: she had a desire to build a home of comfort
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  Coach Bee: and love.
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  Coach Bee: And, you know, just full transparency, I actually lost my
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  Coach Bee: mom at the end of September to a long battle of dementia,
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  Coach Bee: frontal temporal dementia.
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  Coach Bee: But,
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  Coach Bee: I would say that those two individuals,
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  Coach Bee: really made me who I am today.
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  Coach Bee: Their ability to let me even journey with them through their
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  Coach Bee: deliverance in their lives, outside of the way they
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  Coach Bee: loved people.
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  Coach Bee: My dad was a educator for a long time and and coach.
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  Coach Bee: And, you know, my mom, worked with special needs and then later went
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  Coach Bee: into being an entrepreneur.
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  Coach Bee: They both ended up being entrepreneurs later in their lives.
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  Coach Bee: And just watching them how they did life and how our door always stayed
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  Coach Bee: open, there was always somebody at our table Mhmm.
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  Coach Bee: For dinner.
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  Coach Bee: You know?
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  Lisa Nichols: I love
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  Coach Bee: that.
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  Coach Bee: So it I don't wanna make it sound Pollyannaish because everything
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  Coach Bee: in life has its ups and downs and ends and Right.
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  Coach Bee: But as individuals, they tried really hard to
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  Coach Bee: inspire in our family the sense of service and the
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  Coach Bee: sense of be paying attention to other people and their needs.
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  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh, I love that.
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  Lisa Nichols: Well and I know too that your grandmother had a big influence
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  Lisa Nichols: on you.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh, cute.
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  Lisa Nichols: Your grandmother.
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  Lisa Nichols: So we're talking generations.
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  Lisa Nichols: Generation.
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  Coach Bee: Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: This family of love and family of acceptance and openness
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  Lisa Nichols: and right?
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  Lisa Nichols: So tell me about that because I read that you I I think I
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  Lisa Nichols: read an article that said you have a passion for restoring Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: And repurposing furniture.
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  Lisa Nichols: And it's so cool because you've got so many of your grandmother's pieces
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  Lisa Nichols: in your home.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh my god.
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  Lisa Nichols: Rock home.
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  Coach Bee: Every everywhere.
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  Coach Bee: So she starting very young, I shared with her the
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  Coach Bee: fascination around.
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  Coach Bee: She was so good, has such a good eye at picking pieces
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  Coach Bee: that were broken, and people would literally like, I have an armoire
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  Coach Bee: in my dining room that when she found it, it was in a pile.
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  Coach Bee: It was literally decomposed in in a pile of wood.
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  Coach Bee: And she found, this gentleman in Mississippi and,
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  Coach Bee: out in the rural parts of Mississippi, and he would rebuild this
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  Coach Bee: furniture for her and bring it back to new.
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  Coach Bee: Little did I know that watching her do that and developing
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  Coach Bee: a love for,
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  Coach Bee: starting to restore.
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  Coach Bee: So I think I restored my first piece of furniture at thirteen, And it
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  Coach Bee: was an actual old couch from the Salvation Army that I
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  Coach Bee: broke down and rebuilt into a pure white couch
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  Coach Bee: that we kept in our home, and literally rebuilt that
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  Coach Bee: couch in a matter of three days, and had never done it before.
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  Coach Bee: And that was kinda
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  Lisa Nichols: But you were thirteen years old?
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  Coach Bee: Thirteen.
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  Coach Bee: It was in my mom's dining room.
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  Coach Bee: And Wow.
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  Coach Bee: Said, you are never gonna finish that sofa.
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  Coach Bee: And I said, I'm not gonna sleep till I finish that sofa.
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  Coach Bee: But that was God's way at that point, I think, looking back on it
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  Coach Bee: now, of carrying on legacy from my grandmother because
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  Coach Bee: she told me she said, if you continue to care for things like this,
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  Coach Bee: every piece you see in this house can be yours.
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  Coach Bee: I will leave it all to you.
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  Coach Bee: Nobody else wanted it because they wanted the new stuff.
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  Coach Bee: And I said Yeah.
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  Coach Bee: If you pass it on to me, I will take care of it.
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  Coach Bee: The desk I sit at right now was the first dining room table she
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  Coach Bee: and my grandfather bought.
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  Coach Bee: I resported and made it the desk that I work from.
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  Coach Bee: So while she only reached, you know, high school education,
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  Coach Bee: she was a housekeeper,
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  Coach Bee: for living.
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  Coach Bee: She was a woman of many principles that I just hold
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  Coach Bee: her in such great reverence because she taught me about everything about
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  Coach Bee: my faith and how to care for people through the way I restored
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  Coach Bee: things out to the way that I cook for people.
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  Coach Bee: So cooking is a love language for me.
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  Coach Bee: So love my grandmother, Elizabeth.
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  Coach Bee: Actually, my oldest daughter has carries her name.
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  Lisa Nichols: Oh, well, I love the name.
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  Lisa Nichols: My middle daughter's name is Elizabeth, and I love the meaning
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  Lisa Nichols: of Elizabeth.
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  Lisa Nichols: You know the meaning of it.
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  Lisa Nichols: I love that name.
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  Coach Bee: Yes.
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  Lisa Nichols: That is so I mean, I know.
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  Lisa Nichols: And I think you refurnished her buffet, which actually became your
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  Lisa Nichols: credenza.
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  Lisa Nichols: I mean, Yeah.
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  Lisa Nichols: I just think that it's so awesome, Coach Bee , because when you sit at that
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  Lisa Nichols: when you sit at that desk every day Yep.
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  Lisa Nichols: You've got a piece of her with you, and she's carrying on that legacy.
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  Lisa Nichols: I just think it's really beautiful.
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  Coach Bee: Thank you so much.
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  Coach Bee: Thank you for even knowing that.
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  Coach Bee: I love that.
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  Lisa Nichols: Well and and you know what?
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  Lisa Nichols: And I just thought about something else.
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  Lisa Nichols: You are a transformation expert.
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  Lisa Nichols: That's what you are.
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  Lisa Nichols: And that started you're transforming That's it.
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  Lisa Nichols: This furniture.
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  Lisa Nichols: Right?
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  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 10:53
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 10:54
  Lisa Nichols: Common thread.
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  Coach Bee: Absolutely.
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  Coach Bee: That is so cool.
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  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 10:57
  Lisa Nichols: That is so cool.
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  Lisa Nichols: Well, I know that you and Rob have built a
• 11:02
  Lisa Nichols: house, a home that's grounded in faith, and I love
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  Lisa Nichols: it.
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  Lisa Nichols: Tell me about your family, your immediate family, Rob,
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  Lisa Nichols: your kids.
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  Lisa Nichols: How has that shaped you as a leader?
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  Lisa Nichols: Being a mother and being a wife, and,
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  Lisa Nichols: how have they supported you and shaped you?
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  Coach Bee: Oh my gosh.
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  Coach Bee: Just because I'm fresh off of that renewal of
• 11:26
  Coach Bee: time with Rob and then celebrating our twenty fifth anniversary
• 11:30
  Coach Bee: today.
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  Coach Bee: Rob and I started out as best friends in college.
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  Coach Bee: We built this relationship from a truly solid relationship or
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  Coach Bee: friendship.
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  Coach Bee: And, I tell people all the time, I don't just love him, but I
• 11:43
  Coach Bee: like him.
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  Coach Bee: Yes.
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  Coach Bee: I adore him.
• 11:46
  Lisa Nichols: That's kind of important.
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  Coach Bee: It is very important.
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  Coach Bee: You cannot skip that part.
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  Coach Bee: It's important foundational work.
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  Coach Bee: And he is my true best friend.
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  Coach Bee: I know some people say that.
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  Coach Bee: I I really tell you that, he knows me better than anybody,
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  Coach Bee: and I wouldn't be where I am today had not he made
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  Coach Bee: the full commitment to let me go out on the edge of risk
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  Coach Bee: and do what I'm doing.
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  Coach Bee: And I know you totally understand this because I know you come from the
• 12:14
  Coach Bee: same place.
• 12:16
  Coach Bee: So, you know, the even today, I was telling him that
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  Coach Bee: I love the fact that he loves me the way I don't even know
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  Coach Bee: I need to be loved.
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  Coach Bee: And so that just brings another quality to
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  Coach Bee: not only our relationship, but it's a model for our girls.
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  Coach Bee: Not that they need to have exactly what Rob and I have because I
• 12:37
  Coach Bee: want them to journey with their people when it's time.
• 12:41
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 12:41
  Coach Bee: The way they see they need to.
• 12:43
  Coach Bee: But that faith of believing
• 12:47
  Coach Bee: that God knows how to weave us together and that it is
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  Coach Bee: a journey with tons of seasons, and we have to sign up for
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  Coach Bee: all the seasons.
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  Coach Bee: You know, we both just went through like I said earlier, I lost my
• 13:00
  Coach Bee: mom in September, but last November, we lost his mom.
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  Coach Bee: And so we have found a whole another level
• 13:08
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 13:08
  Coach Bee: Of trusting each other and God through to the end of the
• 13:12
  Coach Bee: light at the end of the tunnel of now being motherless,
• 13:17
  Coach Bee: so to speak, and learning how to fill that space with
• 13:22
  Coach Bee: other things now that they're gone to heaven and can't feel.
• 13:25
  Coach Bee: So I just tell people all the time, don't look for perfect.
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  Coach Bee: Look for the person that you feel you can say yes to the journey.
• 13:35
  Coach Bee: And then when it gets dull, you know how to respark it.
• 13:39
  Coach Bee: When it's full, that you know how to embrace it and be grateful for
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  Coach Bee: it, but it's it's seasons.
• 13:44
  Coach Bee: It's not perfect.
• 13:46
  Lisa Nichols: I'm so glad that you've said that.
• 13:47
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 13:48
  Lisa Nichols: I'm so glad that you said that, Coach Bee , because there is no perfect relationship.
• 13:52
  Lisa Nichols: No.
• 13:54
  Lisa Nichols: In fact, you know, I've told our children and yeah.
• 13:57
  Lisa Nichols: I said if people tell you that they never have issues or they don't
• 14:00
  Lisa Nichols: even have disagreements, I'm like, either they're lying to you or they're
• 14:04
  Lisa Nichols: just they're a very surface relationship and they're pushing those things
• 14:08
  Lisa Nichols: under the rug.
• 14:09
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 14:10
  Lisa Nichols: But, I completely concur with you because I know
• 14:15
  Lisa Nichols: that Greg having the two of us I mean, having him in
• 14:19
  Lisa Nichols: my life, I am the better human being.
• 14:22
  Lisa Nichols: Iron sharpens iron.
• 14:23
  Coach Bee: That's right.
• 14:24
  Lisa Nichols: And, and and I like him too.
• 14:29
  Lisa Nichols: I would choose just to to have him as a best friend even if
• 14:33
  Lisa Nichols: he wasn't my husband.
• 14:34
  Lisa Nichols: So that that's really beautiful.
• 14:36
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 14:37
  Lisa Nichols: Well, I know that, you know, that you've held degrees.
• 14:40
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, my goodness.
• 14:41
  Lisa Nichols: You got lots and lots and lots of degrees.
• 14:43
  Coach Bee: I love that.
• 14:44
  Lisa Nichols: And you continue to get degrees because you're now working on your doctorate, which
• 14:48
  Lisa Nichols: is crazy.
• 14:50
  Lisa Nichols: But, you know, you've got lots of different ones.
• 14:52
  Lisa Nichols: But what what has driven that lifelong
• 14:56
  Lisa Nichols: commitment to learning?
• 14:57
  Lisa Nichols: And, I mean, I'm sure your dad being an educator, I'm sure education was
• 15:01
  Lisa Nichols: important.
• 15:02
  Lisa Nichols: You guys were brought up to realize how important education is.
• 15:05
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 15:06
  Coach Bee: It he did.
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  Coach Bee: I will say, though he had a very interesting to say
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  Coach Bee: that he was such a brilliant man, he
• 15:16
  Coach Bee: never forced us down a particular education
• 15:20
  Coach Bee: path.
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  Coach Bee: His words to us was always and this is the words I say to
• 15:24
  Coach Bee: Hannah and Grace, my two daughters, is about
• 15:29
  Coach Bee: seeking life for curiosity.
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  Coach Bee: And if curiosity leads you to a four year
• 15:36
  Coach Bee: university, if it leads you to a technical career, if it leads you
• 15:41
  Coach Bee: to vo tech, if it leads you to entrepreneurship, just make sure that
• 15:45
  Coach Bee: you are pursuing it with everything that you have.
• 15:48
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 15:49
  Coach Bee: Never resting on your laurels that because you've achieved some
• 15:53
  Coach Bee: part of it, that you know everything there is to know.
• 15:56
  Coach Bee: Because our brains you know, being a brain coach, I learned very quickly
• 16:01
  Coach Bee: that and then watching two parents suffer from cognitive
• 16:05
  Coach Bee: decline that when you become
• 16:09
  Coach Bee: comfortable that you know everything you need to know, you're actually
• 16:14
  Coach Bee: closing off the possibility of growing another
• 16:18
  Coach Bee: part of your mind,
• 16:20
  Coach Bee: opening up neuropathways that have a lot of treasure in it
• 16:25
  Coach Bee: that I believe divinely is for us to go discover.
• 16:29
  Coach Bee: It's just like we get on a plane to go take a vacation.
• 16:32
  Coach Bee: We should be taking a vacation with our learning.
• 16:35
  Coach Bee: And, you know, even today sitting with you, I know
• 16:39
  Coach Bee: that I'm gonna have the opportunity
• 16:42
  Coach Bee: to hear myself as you provoke me in
• 16:46
  Coach Bee: the questions you're asking,
• 16:48
  Coach Bee: to want to discover more about who I am.
• 16:51
  Coach Bee: So probably in my fifties right now, I am more
• 16:57
  Coach Bee: in tune with needing to drive forward learning in
• 17:01
  Coach Bee: myself so that I can help people differently.
• 17:04
  Coach Bee: I can discover people differently.
• 17:06
  Coach Bee: I can see
• 17:06
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 17:08
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 17:09
  Lisa Nichols: I, you know, I I love what you just said.
• 17:11
  Lisa Nichols: That completely one hundred percent resonates with me because I was just talking
• 17:15
  Lisa Nichols: to somebody last week about some possibility of higher
• 17:19
  Lisa Nichols: education.
• 17:20
  Lisa Nichols: And I said it's not for the letters behind your
• 17:24
  Lisa Nichols: name.
• 17:24
  Lisa Nichols: It truly isn't.
• 17:25
  Lisa Nichols: It's so that I could be better equipped to help other people.
• 17:30
  Coach Bee: That's it.
• 17:30
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 17:31
  Lisa Nichols: That's That's that's the that's the impetus for it.
• 17:34
  Lisa Nichols: So
• 17:35
  Coach Bee: Absolutely.
• 17:35
  Coach Bee: And I didn't have a good I'm gonna be honest with you, Lisa.
• 17:40
  Coach Bee: When I first decided that I wanted to do
• 17:44
  Coach Bee: additional learning, I'm a put it that way, it was not rooted
• 17:48
  Coach Bee: in the best position about learning.
• 17:51
  Coach Bee: It was rooted in acceptance
• 17:54
  Coach Bee: and wanting
• 17:55
  Coach Bee: to have something else to conquer.
• 17:57
  Coach Bee: You can get addicted Yes.
• 18:00
  Coach Bee: You can.
• 18:00
  Coach Bee: To that kind of thing.
• 18:01
  Coach Bee: And so,
• 18:04
  Coach Bee: I remember going when I was going through some spiritual counseling, Literally,
• 18:08
  Coach Bee: that was challenged.
• 18:09
  Coach Bee: And she said, I think, honestly, you need to pull back from
• 18:13
  Coach Bee: the doctoral program, and you need to pursue something else for the
• 18:17
  Coach Bee: time being while you are transforming yourself.
• 18:20
  Coach Bee: And I did that.
• 18:21
  Lisa Nichols: You did?
• 18:22
  Coach Bee: I did.
• 18:23
  Coach Bee: And so that is when I went into the brain coaching and got that
• 18:26
  Coach Bee: certification because the question was, what I was doing, was it gonna
• 18:30
  Coach Bee: help the people that I was called to help my purpose, or was it
• 18:34
  Coach Bee: going to feed my ego?
• 18:35
  Coach Bee: And, honestly, at the time, it was feeding my ego.
• 18:37
  Lisa Nichols: Feeding your ego.
• 18:39
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 18:39
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, I that's a good point too.
• 18:41
  Lisa Nichols: You know, I think we always need to be asking ourselves, what is the
• 18:45
  Lisa Nichols: motive?
• 18:45
  Lisa Nichols: What is the motive to do this?
• 18:48
  Lisa Nichols: Is it really to look good to others?
• 18:50
  Lisa Nichols: Is it for acceptance,
• 18:52
  Lisa Nichols: credibility?
• 18:53
  Lisa Nichols: Whatever the case may be.
• 18:54
  Lisa Nichols: So, yeah, having those meetings with yourself, I think, are really important.
• 18:59
  Lisa Nichols: It wasn't popular.
• 19:00
  Coach Bee: It wasn't popular.
• 19:02
  Coach Bee: A lot of people are like, what are you doing?
• 19:04
  Coach Bee: Why would you do that?
• 19:05
  Coach Bee: But I had to make a conscious decision that, you know, I'm kinda a
• 19:08
  Coach Bee: little too old to be doing chasing ghosts.
• 19:11
  Coach Bee: So I need to make sure that I'm intentional about the things that I
• 19:14
  Coach Bee: do and, you know, is it serving the kingdom?
• 19:18
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 19:19
  Lisa Nichols: Oh, so good.
• 19:20
  Lisa Nichols: So good.
• 19:21
  Lisa Nichols: Well, let me ask you this because we we've already kinda touched on it
• 19:24
  Lisa Nichols: a little bit.
• 19:25
  Lisa Nichols: You are a transformation expert.
• 19:28
  Lisa Nichols: Transformation of the brain.
• 19:30
  Lisa Nichols: Transformation of IT.
• 19:32
  Lisa Nichols: Many, many things.
• 19:33
  Lisa Nichols: Transformation of furniture.
• 19:35
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 19:35
  Lisa Nichols: When did you when in your career did you realize that it was more
• 19:39
  Lisa Nichols: about transformation for you than just the technology
• 19:44
  Lisa Nichols: and that transformation was gonna be your line?
• 19:47
  Coach Bee: Wow.
• 19:47
  Coach Bee: That's a good question.
• 19:51
  Coach Bee: I would say it was probably,
• 19:54
  Coach Bee: at this point, over twelve years ago, if not a little
• 19:58
  Coach Bee: longer.
• 19:58
  Coach Bee: I was in an organization.
• 20:01
  Coach Bee: I won't say names to protect the innocent.
• 20:03
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 20:05
  Coach Bee: But I remember,
• 20:08
  Coach Bee: being completely fulfilled in the work I was doing, but I have this provocation,
• 20:13
  Coach Bee: almost like a a tomb moment where,
• 20:18
  Coach Bee: outwardly, everybody would probably have guessed that I was doing what
• 20:22
  Coach Bee: I love to do.
• 20:23
  Coach Bee: I've been in technology at that time for I'll call getting close to thirty
• 20:27
  Coach Bee: years.
• 20:27
  Coach Bee: I mean, for most of my career, I had a a adult dual degree
• 20:31
  Coach Bee: in computer science.
• 20:32
  Coach Bee: And Yes.
• 20:33
  Coach Bee: And so I've always had my tentacles in it.
• 20:36
  Coach Bee: But from the outside, it looked like I was working for the perfect organization
• 20:40
  Coach Bee: doing the perfect work.
• 20:42
  Coach Bee: Inside,
• 20:43
  Coach Bee: I was suffering silently.
• 20:45
  Coach Bee: And what I mean by that was I just was not fulfilled.
• 20:49
  Coach Bee: I mean, I had the paycheck.
• 20:51
  Coach Bee: I had the title.
• 20:53
  Coach Bee: You know, was wearing the the the Armani suit with the stiletto
• 20:57
  Coach Bee: heels and walking in the shower.
• 20:59
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 21:00
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 21:00
  Coach Bee: But I was just not happy.
• 21:03
  Coach Bee: And when I look back at pictures even during that time, I was I
• 21:07
  Coach Bee: could see it.
• 21:08
  Coach Bee: I can see that, but that that be at the time.
• 21:11
  Coach Bee: And I remember
• 21:14
  Coach Bee: just,
• 21:15
  Coach Bee: really getting in a place of trying to understand
• 21:19
  Coach Bee: what where that suffering was coming from because everything else seemed to be
• 21:24
  Coach Bee: in place.
• 21:25
  Coach Bee: And I remember,
• 21:27
  Coach Bee: one day, I felt a provocation to write down
• 21:32
  Coach Bee: if you could be somewhere else helping someone else, who would they
• 21:36
  Coach Bee: be?
• 21:36
  Coach Bee: What would they look like?
• 21:39
  Coach Bee: What would they sound like?
• 21:41
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 21:41
  Coach Bee: Exactly.
• 21:42
  Coach Bee: So I sat down and wrote a couple of simple sentences.
• 21:45
  Coach Bee: They were not elaborate.
• 21:47
  Coach Bee: And it said something like to help other
• 21:51
  Coach Bee: people in positions of influence, not necessarily power,
• 21:55
  Coach Bee: but influence.
• 21:57
  Coach Bee: And that was before influence was a buzzword
• 22:01
  Coach Bee: to uncover their greater purpose.
• 22:05
  Coach Bee: Wrote that down,
• 22:07
  Coach Bee: said, oh, this sounds good.
• 22:09
  Coach Bee: This looks good.
• 22:10
  Coach Bee: And I tucked it away in my journal, put it on my prayer prayer
• 22:13
  Coach Bee: space.
• 22:15
  Coach Bee: And then, couple of months after that, I heard the little
• 22:19
  Coach Bee: voice, you know, little voice that was here, and it said
• 22:23
  Coach Bee: to go further.
• 22:26
  Coach Bee: And so I talked about who those people were, individuals
• 22:30
  Coach Bee: that had our servant heart but were overlooked,
• 22:35
  Coach Bee: committees, boards, c level executives
• 22:39
  Coach Bee: that had the true desire but were struggling to maintain the desire.
• 22:43
  Coach Bee: And so it started to get a little clear of who.
• 22:46
  Coach Bee: Fast forwarding, one day I heard the word transformation.
• 22:51
  Coach Bee: Just heard it.
• 22:53
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 22:53
  Coach Bee: And I went and looked it up, and I promise you it was, like,
• 22:57
  Coach Bee: one percent of people were even moving in that space.
• 22:59
  Coach Bee: Mackenzie had just started talking about it.
• 23:03
  Coach Bee: There were about
• 23:05
  Coach Bee: I'd say if you went out on LinkedIn, you probably found fifteen individuals
• 23:10
  Coach Bee: that was doing transformational work.
• 23:12
  Coach Bee: And I started circulating it in my circle of of influence, and people
• 23:16
  Coach Bee: were kind of making fun of it saying, what the heck does that mean
• 23:19
  Coach Bee: to me?
• 23:20
  Coach Bee: Like, what what do you
• 23:21
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 23:21
  Coach Bee: So I I will say to you, Lisa, that it started out as it
• 23:25
  Coach Bee: usually starts out in purpose.
• 23:28
  Coach Bee: And what you're giving in your heart, your unique
• 23:32
  Coach Bee: path usually sounds ridiculous.
• 23:36
  Coach Bee: You know what I'm talking about?
• 23:37
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 23:38
  Lisa Nichols: I do.
• 23:39
  Lisa Nichols: And Yes.
• 23:40
  Coach Bee: It sounded ridiculous for a while, and I kept saying to lead
• 23:44
  Coach Bee: my leaders and saying to people, this is what I think I'm supposed to
• 23:48
  Coach Bee: do and what I wanna do.
• 23:50
  Coach Bee: And everybody was like, that's that's cute, but we're not buying it.
• 23:54
  Coach Bee: So transformation for me was that little voice
• 23:59
  Coach Bee: that spoke to me of this is what you're going to do.
• 24:02
  Coach Bee: And I remember even having a prophetic dream
• 24:06
  Coach Bee: if I can go there.
• 24:07
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 24:08
  Lisa Nichols: Please do.
• 24:08
  Coach Bee: And the dream showed me that I was in this
• 24:12
  Coach Bee: war torn country,
• 24:15
  Coach Bee: of Liberia.
• 24:18
  Coach Bee: And it showed me that I was in almost like this think of the
• 24:22
  Coach Bee: space needle that you would see in Seattle or the one you would see
• 24:25
  Coach Bee: in Toronto.
• 24:26
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 24:26
  Coach Bee: The and I'm in the top of this, and I was looking out across
• 24:31
  Coach Bee: this I mean, as far as you could see, it was just a sea
• 24:34
  Coach Bee: of people, and they were coming towards this space needle.
• 24:39
  Coach Bee: And I heard this big voice say, they are coming
• 24:43
  Coach Bee: for your help.
• 24:45
  Coach Bee: This is the this is the transformation needle.
• 24:50
  Coach Bee: Wow.
• 24:50
  Coach Bee: And I woke up.
• 24:52
  Coach Bee: I remember that dream.
• 24:54
  Coach Bee: That dream was ten years ago.
• 24:57
  Coach Bee: Ten years ago.
• 24:58
  Coach Bee: And then when I came down from the needle and went out on the
• 25:01
  Coach Bee: ground with the people,
• 25:04
  Coach Bee: I saw areas similar to what our world looks like
• 25:08
  Coach Bee: now, which is unsettledness and feet.
• 25:11
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 25:12
  Coach Bee: And people trying to hold on to purpose and
• 25:15
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 25:15
  Coach Bee: Hold on to why are we here, why are we going through this, and
• 25:19
  Coach Bee: the lack of trust.
• 25:20
  Coach Bee: And so I went from the top of the needle to the ground of
• 25:25
  Coach Bee: uncertainty.
• 25:26
  Coach Bee: And I remember waking up just like, what
• 25:31
  Coach Bee: what is this?
• 25:32
  Coach Bee: I am living that out now.
• 25:36
  Lisa Nichols: That's incredible.
• 25:37
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 25:38
  Lisa Nichols: Do you think, Coach Bee , during that time, do you think, like, when
• 25:42
  Lisa Nichols: you were doing you know, you were in this organization, everything looked great from
• 25:45
  Lisa Nichols: the outside.
• 25:46
  Lisa Nichols: Do you think that you had disconnected from your purpose, your
• 25:50
  Lisa Nichols: true purpose in that time, and that's why you were a little
• 25:54
  Lisa Nichols: empty inside?
• 25:56
  Coach Bee: I do.
• 25:58
  Coach Bee: I do.
• 25:59
  Coach Bee: It's so funny because last week, to answer that question,
• 26:03
  Coach Bee: when I was sitting in my reflective time in beautiful
• 26:07
  Coach Bee: Aruba Mhmm.
• 26:09
  Coach Bee: And just sitting there quietly,
• 26:13
  Coach Bee: I just started thinking about, you know, for instance, in,
• 26:17
  Coach Bee: Luke when it describes
• 26:23
  Coach Bee: the multiple points of suffering
• 26:26
  Coach Bee: that that character that the the man that
• 26:30
  Coach Bee: was displayed there, that sometimes when we think about suffering,
• 26:35
  Coach Bee: we think about it as some,
• 26:39
  Coach Bee: transcendent thing that happens to people when they're born
• 26:43
  Coach Bee: in, you know, misfortune or they're born
• 26:47
  Coach Bee: in unfavorable situations.
• 26:49
  Coach Bee: But the fact of the matter is all of us are walking with
• 26:53
  Coach Bee: multiple points of suffering.
• 26:55
  Lisa Nichols: That's right.
• 26:56
  Coach Bee: And the biggest suffering that I see every day of what I do
• 27:01
  Coach Bee: is the disconnection from purpose.
• 27:03
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 27:04
  Coach Bee: The fragmentation that happens when people lose
• 27:08
  Coach Bee: the the the path.
• 27:10
  Coach Bee: You don't always have to know all of the what, but you have
• 27:14
  Coach Bee: to stay on the path of discovering.
• 27:16
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 27:17
  Coach Bee: And me, I had so many years of people seeing
• 27:21
  Coach Bee: all of these gifts that I had to offer, and they were kind
• 27:25
  Coach Bee: of like Christmas time.
• 27:26
  Coach Bee: They were going doing their Black Friday shopping would be.
• 27:29
  Coach Bee: They were picking out what they wanted, and they were illuminating what they wanted.
• 27:34
  Coach Bee: And I was letting that happen.
• 27:37
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 27:37
  Coach Bee: And it was I was successful.
• 27:40
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 27:41
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 27:41
  Coach Bee: But what wasn't happening is I didn't I wasn't taking
• 27:46
  Coach Bee: the place to be clear, to be calm, to be present,
• 27:50
  Coach Bee: to ask myself, how do I feel about what's
• 27:54
  Coach Bee: unfolding?
• 27:55
  Coach Bee: And so even in that vision that I had,
• 28:00
  Coach Bee: I was unsettled even in the vision because I'm like, how do I get
• 28:04
  Coach Bee: from where I am to to learning all of that?
• 28:07
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 28:08
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 28:08
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 28:09
  Coach Bee: And I know I'm speaking to, you know, a fellow sister that
• 28:13
  Coach Bee: totally understands
• 28:15
  Coach Bee: that you have to sign up every day
• 28:20
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 28:20
  Lisa Nichols: You do.
• 28:20
  Coach Bee: Open to Right.
• 28:22
  Coach Bee: Unraveled and unpack, but you still have to maintain
• 28:27
  Coach Bee: the boundaries of not allowing your purpose to be,
• 28:33
  Coach Bee: plagiarized, to be taken for granted, for,
• 28:38
  Coach Bee: people to pick out of it what is suits them.
• 28:41
  Coach Bee: Because what you end up with is emptiness.
• 28:43
  Coach Bee: You end up in that tomb.
• 28:45
  Coach Bee: You end up with the legions,
• 28:48
  Coach Bee: like the character in Luke, right, of fragmentation.
• 28:53
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 28:55
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 28:56
  Lisa Nichols: That wow.
• 28:57
  Lisa Nichols: I love I honestly, I love that metaphor.
• 29:00
  Lisa Nichols: I love that prophetic dream that you had because I just think and
• 29:04
  Lisa Nichols: you coming down into this level of uncertainty because I see the same thing.
• 29:08
  Lisa Nichols: I see people.
• 29:09
  Lisa Nichols: And I've often thought to myself, Benetta, I mean, I know
• 29:14
  Lisa Nichols: you and I we know I know what my purpose is.
• 29:17
  Lisa Nichols: And my the way that we live that out
• 29:20
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 29:20
  Lisa Nichols: May look different different, but there is an overarching purpose that we're all
• 29:25
  Lisa Nichols: created for.
• 29:26
  Lisa Nichols: And I know what that is.
• 29:28
  Lisa Nichols: But I've often thought if I didn't know what that was,
• 29:32
  Lisa Nichols: I I think I would be I think I would be really a depressed
• 29:35
  Lisa Nichols: person.
• 29:36
  Lisa Nichols: Oh, yeah.
• 29:36
  Lisa Nichols: Because because then you're like, what is this all about?
• 29:41
  Lisa Nichols: I just get up every day.
• 29:42
  Lisa Nichols: I get ready, I go to work, I come home, I cook there.
• 29:45
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, it's just like, what is the meaning of all of this, right?
• 29:49
  Lisa Nichols: If you don't really understand that higher purpose
• 29:53
  Lisa Nichols: and what what it really is that you were created for Yes.
• 29:58
  Lisa Nichols: That would be really it'd be hard to navigate life, I feel like.
• 30:01
  Coach Bee: It's it's a emptiness.
• 30:02
  Coach Bee: And, you know, when your identity, I would say when your identity
• 30:06
  Coach Bee: is fragmented, your authority weakens.
• 30:09
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 30:10
  Coach Bee: And what I was going through during that time was outwardly,
• 30:14
  Coach Bee: again,
• 30:16
  Coach Bee: people were happy with what they were getting from me.
• 30:21
  Coach Bee: But for me, I had to go through a period of restoration.
• 30:25
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 30:26
  Coach Bee: Part of that period of restoration was
• 30:32
  Coach Bee: separating
• 30:33
  Coach Bee: from things that I knew were draining me emotionally.
• 30:37
  Coach Bee: I call them emotional and spiritual vampires.
• 30:40
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 30:41
  Lisa Nichols: You know You've done the same thing.
• 30:42
  Coach Bee: I had to be open to my circles changing, and they and the
• 30:46
  Coach Bee: and new people showing up for the new season that I was moving into.
• 30:50
  Coach Bee: I had to be open to you know, because I was always always
• 30:55
  Coach Bee: have been a person that people attracted to for direction and for
• 30:59
  Coach Bee: advice, and I had to be open to being humble
• 31:03
  Coach Bee: to receiving my guides, my wisdom.
• 31:07
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 31:07
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 31:07
  Coach Bee: I had to ask for that.
• 31:10
  Coach Bee: I had to look at motherhood differently,
• 31:14
  Coach Bee: spouse spousal relationship differently.
• 31:17
  Coach Bee: I had to look at what kind of leader I wanted to be.
• 31:20
  Coach Bee: So the next place that I went,
• 31:24
  Coach Bee: I literally intentionally
• 31:27
  Coach Bee: took a lot of what I wanted and put it away for a minute
• 31:31
  Coach Bee: and started to figure out what is my purpose for having the people that
• 31:35
  Coach Bee: now report to me and that I'm responsible for.
• 31:38
  Coach Bee: Like, what is it I'm supposed to do with these people?
• 31:41
  Coach Bee: And I'm not saying that I was selfish
• 31:45
  Coach Bee: all the time, but it was so much about performance that I
• 31:49
  Coach Bee: kinda lost the essence of my purpose of why
• 31:54
  Coach Bee: certain people were being put in my midst.
• 31:56
  Lisa Nichols: Put in.
• 31:57
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 31:57
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 31:57
  Coach Bee: Absolutely.
• 31:58
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 31:58
  Coach Bee: And then I had to start envisioning again, you know, this business
• 32:03
  Coach Bee: that now is a practice and not being afraid to dream
• 32:08
  Coach Bee: while I was on somebody else's dime.
• 32:10
  Coach Bee: So I had to give myself permission to start birthing that
• 32:14
  Coach Bee: baby
• 32:16
  Coach Bee: and that vision while I was working at something else, and it just was
• 32:20
  Coach Bee: interesting how everything started to converge.
• 32:23
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 32:24
  Lisa Nichols: That's so beautiful.
• 32:26
  Lisa Nichols: Well, my goodness.
• 32:27
  Lisa Nichols: I've got so many questions here.
• 32:30
  Lisa Nichols: You know, let's let's just I I mean, I want to make sure that
• 32:33
  Lisa Nichols: we get into what you're called to do today.
• 32:36
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 32:37
  Lisa Nichols: You know, go go follow Coach Bee .
• 32:40
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, literally, she she has, ran huge transformation
• 32:44
  Lisa Nichols: projects for organizations, big and small.
• 32:47
  Lisa Nichols: And like I said, ten plus industries.
• 32:51
  Lisa Nichols: There's a lot that she's done in that space.
• 32:53
  Lisa Nichols: But you know what?
• 32:54
  Lisa Nichols: You founded Renation.
• 32:56
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 32:57
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 32:59
  Lisa Nichols: Tell me and and Power to Run is trademarked.
• 33:02
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 33:02
  Lisa Nichols: Tell me more about that.
• 33:03
  Lisa Nichols: And it's the Power to Run workshop, I think, is what it is.
• 33:07
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 33:07
  Coach Bee: So one of the, again, divine intervention, there was a saying
• 33:12
  Coach Bee: that both my father and my husband said, and they said
• 33:16
  Coach Bee: it at separate times in my life.
• 33:18
  Coach Bee: And I don't think they ever discussed it.
• 33:19
  Coach Bee: And it was a dis the story about the lion in the gazelle
• 33:24
  Coach Bee: that every day in a jungle somewhere in this
• 33:28
  Coach Bee: world,
• 33:30
  Coach Bee: in the jungle wakes up two creatures.
• 33:33
  Coach Bee: One is a lion and one is a gazelle.
• 33:35
  Coach Bee: The lion wakes up knowing that it has
• 33:39
  Coach Bee: the goal and the need to protect its pride
• 33:43
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 33:43
  Coach Bee: To develop direction
• 33:46
  Coach Bee: and to hunt.
• 33:48
  Coach Bee: And that without hunting, the pride will die.
• 33:52
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 33:53
  Coach Bee: The gazelle wakes up knowing that as fast and swift as it
• 33:57
  Coach Bee: is, that it has to also hunt, but it also needs to
• 34:01
  Coach Bee: outrun who?
• 34:02
  Coach Bee: The lion.
• 34:04
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 34:05
  Coach Bee: So very much like life, you've got two dynamics happening.
• 34:10
  Coach Bee: All of us have the need to and the,
• 34:14
  Coach Bee: desire to succeed.
• 34:16
  Coach Bee: We want to provide for those that we love for.
• 34:20
  Coach Bee: We have this voice in the back of our head saying that,
• 34:25
  Coach Bee: when we wake up every morning, we've got to thrive, and we've gotta make
• 34:29
  Coach Bee: this thing called life work.
• 34:31
  Coach Bee: Some days we do great job.
• 34:33
  Coach Bee: Some days we don't just like the line in the gazelle.
• 34:35
  Coach Bee: But one thing we all know is we have to run.
• 34:38
  Coach Bee: We have to wake up with a run mentality.
• 34:41
  Coach Bee: Now we have to be careful about that run mentality because when those two
• 34:45
  Coach Bee: creatures get out of their character, their purpose,
• 34:49
  Coach Bee: it changes the whole dynamic of what?
• 34:51
  Coach Bee: The jungle of the ecosystem.
• 34:54
  Coach Bee: So just like purpose, we have to be clear what we were
• 34:58
  Coach Bee: designed for, why we were designed, and how do we survive.
• 35:01
  Coach Bee: How do we survive?
• 35:03
  Coach Bee: And so when I asked my husband, I say, you know, I
• 35:07
  Coach Bee: really need a powerful name for my firm, and
• 35:11
  Coach Bee: I'm just kinda struggling what I wanna call it.
• 35:13
  Coach Bee: And we threw around a lot of things, and he said one day he
• 35:17
  Coach Bee: said, I got it.
• 35:18
  Coach Bee: He said, the way you innovate and you should teach people how to reinvent
• 35:22
  Coach Bee: reinvent and reimagine themselves and their situations,
• 35:27
  Coach Bee: the way you, you know, kinda show people how to rebreathe again.
• 35:31
  Coach Bee: He said, in a very innovative way, he said, that
• 35:35
  Coach Bee: story about the line and the gazelle, the run, and the innovation,
• 35:40
  Coach Bee: I think the name Runvation is your company's name.
• 35:43
  Coach Bee: And that's how it came.
• 35:44
  Coach Bee: He named the company.
• 35:46
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 35:47
  Lisa Nichols: I love that.
• 35:48
  Lisa Nichols: So I I had not even thought about that at all, but it's the
• 35:51
  Lisa Nichols: combination of innovation and run.
• 35:54
  Lisa Nichols: That is I love that.
• 35:55
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 35:55
  Lisa Nichols: Well, I tell you what, I have still a lot of questions, pages and
• 35:59
  Lisa Nichols: pages here of notes, but we need to take a quick break, and we'll
• 36:01
  Lisa Nichols: be right back with Coach Bee on the Something Extra podcast.
• 36:05
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• 36:35
  Lisa Nichols: Welcome back, everyone, to the Something Acre podcast with Coach Bee .
• 36:39
  Lisa Nichols: We just learned that her company, Runation, was named by
• 36:43
  Lisa Nichols: Rob, her husband, combination of run and innovation Right.
• 36:47
  Lisa Nichols: Which I absolutely love that.
• 36:49
  Lisa Nichols: But, Coach Bee , do you have a story that you can tell about
• 36:54
  Lisa Nichols: someone or a situation where you saw, like, this
• 36:58
  Lisa Nichols: power to run really come to life and, that it was transformational
• 37:02
  Lisa Nichols: for somebody?
• 37:03
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 37:04
  Coach Bee: So, actually, there's so many of the these stories because
• 37:08
  Coach Bee: of the this being the main purpose of kind of, you know,
• 37:12
  Coach Bee: breaking off the chains of people, you know, when they're going
• 37:16
  Coach Bee: through these long term wounds.
• 37:19
  Coach Bee: And,
• 37:20
  Coach Bee: I would say that there's a group of women
• 37:26
  Coach Bee: that, we work through, technology partners with
• 37:30
  Coach Bee: a very if I said the name, which, again, I won't
• 37:34
  Coach Bee: break Mhmm.
• 37:35
  Coach Bee: But it's a name that everybody knows,
• 37:40
  Coach Bee: academic medical institution, I would
• 37:44
  Coach Bee: say,
• 37:45
  Coach Bee: that that's done a beautiful job of
• 37:50
  Coach Bee: bringing a very strong heartbeat of women into the organization
• 37:54
  Coach Bee: and marrying that with technology.
• 37:57
  Coach Bee: But like so many organizations I see, Lisa, unfortunately,
• 38:03
  Coach Bee: we forget that work environments,
• 38:07
  Coach Bee: workplaces
• 38:09
  Coach Bee: is really like a therapeutic institution
• 38:14
  Coach Bee: for most people.
• 38:15
  Coach Bee: We spend exorbitant amount of time at work.
• 38:19
  Coach Bee: Our minds are wrapped around what we do for a living.
• 38:23
  Coach Bee: Even when we're not there, we've got people working from home still.
• 38:27
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 38:27
  Coach Bee: Where their home office is just a few steps away from their bedroom and
• 38:31
  Coach Bee: their kitchen.
• 38:32
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 38:34
  Coach Bee: We've got people trying to manage through
• 38:38
  Coach Bee: being caretakers.
• 38:39
  Coach Bee: I have, I would say, eighty percent of my client
• 38:43
  Coach Bee: base are caregivers now.
• 38:46
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 38:46
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 38:46
  Lisa Nichols: Right. It's the
• 38:48
  Lisa Nichols: sandwich generation.
• 38:49
  Coach Bee: The sandwich generation.
• 38:51
  Coach Bee: And so Mhmm.
• 38:52
  Coach Bee: The wounds that people are walking with right now are just
• 38:56
  Coach Bee: incredible.
• 38:58
  Coach Bee: But the kind of unpacking the tombs of
• 39:02
  Coach Bee: isolation, getting back to resilient leadership,
• 39:06
  Coach Bee: resilient purpose driven lives,
• 39:11
  Coach Bee: is really what the power to run is about.
• 39:14
  Coach Bee: It is about taking
• 39:16
  Coach Bee: all of the mosaic pieces of
• 39:21
  Coach Bee: what makes us who we are, our purpose, our passion,
• 39:25
  Coach Bee: our past, the DNA we were born with, the families
• 39:29
  Coach Bee: we were born into or not born into.
• 39:32
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 39:33
  Coach Bee: The relationships we build as adults.
• 39:36
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 39:37
  Coach Bee: Our identities, our brands, per I mean, our personal brands,
• 39:42
  Coach Bee: and who we choose to do life with
• 39:46
  Coach Bee: all make us who we are.
• 39:48
  Coach Bee: But for some reason, when we go into trying to help people, we
• 39:52
  Coach Bee: only wanna focus on, well, are you a good leader?
• 39:57
  Coach Bee: We may touch on if they are getting counseling their the
• 40:01
  Coach Bee: spiritual needs.
• 40:02
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 40:03
  Coach Bee: We may they may go through marriage counseling, but what we don't do is
• 40:07
  Coach Bee: put the whole cell phone on the table.
• 40:09
  Coach Bee: So the power to run is about speaking to
• 40:13
  Coach Bee: the core blind spots of what pulls back an individual
• 40:18
  Coach Bee: first from an emotional intelligence perspective,
• 40:22
  Coach Bee: then unpacking how that person shows up in a intact team
• 40:26
  Coach Bee: or in a leadership team or on a board of directors or as a
• 40:30
  Coach Bee: community leader.
• 40:32
  Coach Bee: But we usually get this backwards.
• 40:34
  Coach Bee: We we want to skip the self stuff and just go into fixing
• 40:38
  Coach Bee: the group stuff.
• 40:39
  Coach Bee: So Right.
• 40:40
  Coach Bee: So the power to run is helping people sit
• 40:44
  Coach Bee: in a vulnerable
• 40:46
  Coach Bee: place of identification
• 40:48
  Coach Bee: with what has been they with how they've been walking wounded,
• 40:53
  Coach Bee: showing up as a CEO, CIO, CTO, whatever,
• 40:58
  Coach Bee: as a developer, whatever the space is.
• 41:01
  Coach Bee: Helping them unpack that first together.
• 41:05
  Coach Bee: Sometimes it's one on one coaching.
• 41:08
  Coach Bee: But teaching people that vulnerability has to be present
• 41:13
  Coach Bee: for transformation to happen.
• 41:15
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 41:17
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 41:17
  Lisa Nichols: You got to you gotta put it on the table, what it what it
• 41:20
  Lisa Nichols: is.
• 41:21
  Lisa Nichols: And as you were talking about that, you know, the thing is teams, organizations
• 41:26
  Lisa Nichols: are made up of single people.
• 41:28
  Coach Bee: Of single people.
• 41:29
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, of people.
• 41:30
  Coach Bee: That's right.
• 41:31
  Lisa Nichols: And so getting it right with the people and self first
• 41:35
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 41:36
  Lisa Nichols: I think it's paramount.
• 41:37
  Lisa Nichols: And, you know, I told you, Coach Bee , that I'm I'm I'm so excited
• 41:41
  Lisa Nichols: for you to read my book, Something Answer, that just that just blocked.
• 41:46
  Lisa Nichols: But the whole it's divided into four parts.
• 41:49
  Lisa Nichols: And the first part is it starts on the inside.
• 41:51
  Lisa Nichols: It has two.
• 41:53
  Lisa Nichols: It does.
• 41:54
  Lisa Nichols: And and listen.
• 41:55
  Lisa Nichols: It's it's I think here's the other thing.
• 41:57
  Lisa Nichols: And let me just say this.
• 41:59
  Lisa Nichols: It's hard work.
• 42:00
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 42:00
  Coach Bee: It's hard work.
• 42:01
  Lisa Nichols: Sometimes we resist it because it is hard,
• 42:05
  Lisa Nichols: and it's sometimes uncomfortable Absolutely.
• 42:08
  Lisa Nichols: Really to ask ourselves those really hard questions.
• 42:11
  Lisa Nichols: Like, what am I putting my identity in?
• 42:13
  Coach Bee: Absolutely.
• 42:14
  Coach Bee: I just sat with a a a global just came from the
• 42:18
  Coach Bee: Bay Area two days ago sitting with another,
• 42:24
  Coach Bee: Technology Partners client and, again, global name,
• 42:29
  Coach Bee: leadership team.
• 42:30
  Coach Bee: And it never seems to amaze me to watch
• 42:35
  Coach Bee: the tears, the literal tears that fall
• 42:40
  Coach Bee: from not just
• 42:42
  Coach Bee: one versus another people's eyes
• 42:47
  Coach Bee: when they feel cracked open and for
• 42:51
  Coach Bee: me to start addressing what's holding them back, those
• 42:55
  Coach Bee: triggers.
• 42:57
  Coach Bee: Like I said, the legions of things that they've been walking with
• 43:01
  Coach Bee: their whole lives.
• 43:02
  Coach Bee: I mean, keep in mind,
• 43:05
  Coach Bee: we're sitting in a workplace with five generations
• 43:09
  Coach Bee: five generations of individuals.
• 43:12
  Coach Bee: And I know my girls, Hannah and Grace, they are well
• 43:16
  Coach Bee: able to emote what they feel.
• 43:20
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 43:20
  Coach Bee: I came from a generation that you press that stuff down.
• 43:23
  Coach Bee: You
• 43:24
  Lisa Nichols: That's right.
• 43:24
  Coach Bee: You burrow forward.
• 43:25
  Coach Bee: You do not allow yourself to get distracted.
• 43:29
  Coach Bee: But I'm here to tell you, I'm a living witness.
• 43:32
  Coach Bee: You have if you want to get on the purpose path, you've gotta
• 43:36
  Coach Bee: deal with your junk.
• 43:38
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 43:38
  Coach Bee: You've gotta unpack.
• 43:40
  Coach Bee: And and just like they say on the planes, you've got to put your
• 43:43
  Coach Bee: own oxygen mask on first.
• 43:45
  Coach Bee: There there's a reason why they don't tell you to reach over while you're
• 43:49
  Coach Bee: gasping for air and save the person next to you.
• 43:52
  Coach Bee: There's a reason.
• 43:53
  Lisa Nichols: Sure.
• 43:54
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 43:54
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 43:55
  Coach Bee: They say put yours on first.
• 43:57
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 43:58
  Coach Bee: Do it as quickly as you can if you want to
• 44:02
  Coach Bee: live and survive.
• 44:03
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 44:04
  Coach Bee: And you help the person next to you.
• 44:06
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 44:07
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 44:08
  Coach Bee: So it's just you know, you you we've gotta unpack that, and I think
• 44:14
  Coach Bee: we're in a place now where we're probably better positioned
• 44:18
  Coach Bee: because we're kinda backs against the wall.
• 44:22
  Coach Bee: There is no more you and them.
• 44:24
  Coach Bee: It is me.
• 44:25
  Coach Bee: Gotta deal with me.
• 44:27
  Coach Bee: And so, I love the work that I get to do with Power
• 44:32
  Coach Bee: to Run and the Transformation University because these
• 44:36
  Coach Bee: are the things I walk through.
• 44:38
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 44:39
  Lisa Nichols: I'm Right.
• 44:40
  Lisa Nichols: And you see and you see how liberating it is, Coach Bee , when
• 44:44
  Lisa Nichols: you can break those chains.
• 44:46
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 44:46
  Lisa Nichols: Whatever it is that you, you know, that you're carrying this burden on your
• 44:50
  Lisa Nichols: back.
• 44:50
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 44:51
  Lisa Nichols: So that's, I just love it.
• 44:54
  Lisa Nichols: I love it.
• 44:55
  Lisa Nichols: Well, gosh.
• 44:57
  Lisa Nichols: This is so good.
• 44:59
  Lisa Nichols: You know, you've coached over four hundred global leaders through the
• 45:03
  Lisa Nichols: CIO executive council.
• 45:06
  Lisa Nichols: You know, what what do you think and and it could be what we've
• 45:08
  Lisa Nichols: just been talking about.
• 45:09
  Lisa Nichols: These high capacity leaders, what do you think that oftentimes they need
• 45:13
  Lisa Nichols: that they don't ask for?
• 45:16
  Coach Bee: Space to breathe.
• 45:18
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 45:19
  Coach Bee: Space to be seen outside again of that high performing
• 45:24
  Coach Bee: space.
• 45:25
  Coach Bee: So, Lisa, I learned, through my leadership journey
• 45:30
  Coach Bee: and through self reflection and then in my practice that
• 45:35
  Coach Bee: though I have a love for people in general, and you probably just know
• 45:38
  Coach Bee: that about me, that I can go in the grocery store, stand next to
• 45:41
  Coach Bee: somebody picking tomatoes, and start a conversation.
• 45:44
  Coach Bee: That's just your husband always tells me, I can't leave you alone for two
• 45:47
  Coach Bee: seconds.
• 45:48
  Coach Bee: But I love people, but I'm real clear
• 45:53
  Coach Bee: about who I'm called to help.
• 45:56
  Coach Bee: So they're seeing people, and that there's knowing yourself,
• 46:00
  Coach Bee: and there's knowing your purpose.
• 46:02
  Coach Bee: And so even in the four hundred with the CEO
• 46:06
  Coach Bee: executive council, what I realized is that my job is to see
• 46:10
  Coach Bee: the four hundred from my eyes and not see it from everybody
• 46:14
  Coach Bee: else's because my eyes are divinely given to me
• 46:18
  Coach Bee: to see certain things in people.
• 46:20
  Coach Bee: So I have a gift to be able to see and call out
• 46:25
  Coach Bee: what I what I can see that unspoken thing in a person.
• 46:29
  Coach Bee: People always tell me, how do you just go right to my soul?
• 46:33
  Coach Bee: Well, it's because I took the journey of my soul opening up
• 46:38
  Coach Bee: and getting help there.
• 46:39
  Coach Bee: And I felt, like, my favorite client is one that's gone through therapy
• 46:44
  Coach Bee: and coaching.
• 46:45
  Coach Bee: Like, I love a person who has already signed up for self help.
• 46:49
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 46:50
  Coach Bee: But I don't shy away from those that know they need help and don't
• 46:54
  Coach Bee: know where to get it.
• 46:55
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 46:56
  Coach Bee: So,
• 46:57
  Coach Bee: I just find an incredible amount of the high performing individuals
• 47:02
  Coach Bee: tend to be the also the people that don't always,
• 47:08
  Coach Bee: care for themselves first.
• 47:10
  Coach Bee: Oh.
• 47:10
  Coach Bee: They are, like, the major servant leaders.
• 47:13
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 47:14
  Lisa Nichols: One hundred percent.
• 47:15
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 47:15
  Coach Bee: And they will they will lay it all on the line every day.
• 47:21
  Coach Bee: Like, when I ask them questions about when you wake up in the
• 47:25
  Coach Bee: morning, what do you think about first?
• 47:28
  Coach Bee: It's very rarely them.
• 47:30
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 47:30
  Coach Bee: And they've actually been programmed to think that if it's them,
• 47:35
  Coach Bee: they're that's egotistical.
• 47:37
  Coach Bee: That's prideful.
• 47:38
  Lisa Nichols: Selfish.
• 47:39
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 47:39
  Lisa Nichols: That's prideful.
• 47:40
  Lisa Nichols: That's hubris.
• 47:41
  Lisa Nichols: That's right.
• 47:42
  Lisa Nichols: All of those things.
• 47:42
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 47:43
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 47:43
  Coach Bee: So that's the the red thread I always see.
• 47:48
  Coach Bee: I don't care what organization, what city I work with.
• 47:52
  Coach Bee: I've worked with police officers, firefighters,
• 47:56
  Coach Bee: you name it.
• 47:57
  Coach Bee: I've worked in zoos.
• 47:59
  Coach Bee: I've worked
• 48:01
  Coach Bee: everywhere.
• 48:01
  Coach Bee: It I see it over and over again.
• 48:05
  Coach Bee: And sometimes it even saddens me because I'm like,
• 48:09
  Coach Bee: what are we putting in the water Why this is a even
• 48:13
  Coach Bee: even with my girls, I'm like, it is okay to take
• 48:18
  Coach Bee: time for yourself.
• 48:21
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 48:21
  Coach Bee: It is okay to love yourself.
• 48:24
  Coach Bee: That is not self centered in a negative
• 48:28
  Coach Bee: way.
• 48:28
  Coach Bee: You have to do that before you can love somebody else.
• 48:33
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 48:33
  Lisa Nichols: Oh, yeah.
• 48:35
  Lisa Nichols: We should do a whole podcast on that.
• 48:38
  Lisa Nichols: I'm Loving yourself.
• 48:40
  Lisa Nichols: Loving yes.
• 48:41
  Lisa Nichols: Because yeah.
• 48:43
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 48:44
  Lisa Nichols: I've got a lot to say on that, so we should do a whole
• 48:47
  Lisa Nichols: podcast
• 48:47
  Coach Bee: on that.
• 48:47
  Coach Bee: Lisa.
• 48:48
  Coach Bee: Let's do it.
• 48:50
  Lisa Nichols: This is good.
• 48:52
  Lisa Nichols: You know?
• 48:52
  Lisa Nichols: Well and I know that you're working a lot with women.
• 48:55
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 48:56
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 48:56
  Lisa Nichols: Student Technology Partners and what we're doing.
• 48:58
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 48:59
  Lisa Nichols: What are some of those patterns that you see with women?
• 49:02
  Lisa Nichols: What are those things that maybe are holding them back, those blind
• 49:06
  Lisa Nichols: spots that you see over and over, with women
• 49:11
  Lisa Nichols: in particular, Coach Bee ?
• 49:12
  Coach Bee: I will tell you there's two things I coach on religiously,
• 49:17
  Coach Bee: and they're nonnegotiables.
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: Mhmm.
• 49:20
  Coach Bee: Emotional intelligence and personal branding.
• 49:24
  Coach Bee: Now most people gonna hear this and go, well, coach would be well, duh.
• 49:28
  Coach Bee: Though we everybody know that's important.
• 49:30
  Coach Bee: You'd be surprised how little we know about our emotional wiring.
• 49:36
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 49:36
  Coach Bee: We wake up in the morning and refuse to take an emotional temperature.
• 49:41
  Coach Bee: And we show up doing work, stepping into a meeting,
• 49:45
  Coach Bee: trying to sell business, trying to fix technology issues, trying to
• 49:49
  Coach Bee: do strategy, and never have taken stock of, did I wake up right this
• 49:54
  Coach Bee: morning?
• 49:55
  Coach Bee: Did I show up right this morning?
• 49:57
  Coach Bee: And I will say for women because we're moms, we're mentors,
• 50:02
  Coach Bee: we're wives, we're partners.
• 50:04
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 50:05
  Coach Bee: We're caregivers.
• 50:07
  Coach Bee: I would say we are naturally wired to nurture and
• 50:11
  Coach Bee: take care of others.
• 50:13
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 50:14
  Coach Bee: But over and over again, when I have the one on one conversation with
• 50:18
  Coach Bee: a lot of my women in coaching and say, tell me how you're taking
• 50:21
  Coach Bee: care of yourself.
• 50:23
  Coach Bee: Before the conversation's over, the tears come down.
• 50:28
  Coach Bee: The eyes go down off of the screen if we're virtual.
• 50:32
  Coach Bee: The shoulders drop.
• 50:34
  Coach Bee: And I think that it's in that moment
• 50:38
  Coach Bee: that I'm always arrested, and it takes me back
• 50:42
  Coach Bee: to, like I said, the pictures of myself
• 50:46
  Coach Bee: when I was never taking stock of how
• 50:50
  Coach Bee: imbalanced and how unhappy I was.
• 50:52
  Coach Bee: And this is no reflection on my home life.
• 50:55
  Coach Bee: This is no reflection on who I work for.
• 50:57
  Coach Bee: It was just that no one gave me said it was okay and gave
• 51:01
  Coach Bee: me permission to live life fully unleashed.
• 51:06
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 51:06
  Coach Bee: To laugh, to dance, to have my favorite muffin,
• 51:11
  Coach Bee: to take time away,
• 51:14
  Coach Bee: to lay in the bed a little longer on a Saturday morning and not
• 51:18
  Coach Bee: feel like I gotta bolt off and do stuff.
• 51:20
  Coach Bee: You know?
• 51:21
  Coach Bee: To maybe have a messy closet every once in a while.
• 51:24
  Coach Bee: Just permission
• 51:27
  Coach Bee: not to be perfect.
• 51:28
  Coach Bee: And so I refuse to let my women even use the
• 51:32
  Coach Bee: word perfection around me.
• 51:34
  Lisa Nichols: Oh, good.
• 51:35
  Coach Bee: I tell them take that word out your vocabulary because it is the devil.
• 51:41
  Lisa Nichols: It is.
• 51:43
  Lisa Nichols: Oh my goodness.
• 51:44
  Lisa Nichols: It is.
• 51:45
  Lisa Nichols: You know?
• 51:46
  Lisa Nichols: And I remember I mean and I can still fall in that trap myself,
• 51:49
  Lisa Nichols: but I remember a time, Coach Bee , where I was like, oh, I gotta be
• 51:53
  Lisa Nichols: the perfect wife, and I gotta keep the perfect house.
• 51:55
  Lisa Nichols: And we're having a dinner party, and I have to cook the perfect thing.
• 51:59
  Lisa Nichols: And I can still I can still fall into that, but, boy,
• 52:03
  Lisa Nichols: it's exhausting.
• 52:05
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 52:06
  Lisa Nichols: Literally.
• 52:07
  Coach Bee: Been delegating, letting someone else be the doer
• 52:11
  Coach Bee: because it's it's it's it's very egotistical.
• 52:14
  Coach Bee: We've we've been staying away for the word ego, but it is so prideful
• 52:17
  Coach Bee: and egotistical.
• 52:18
  Coach Bee: And it's a slow killer when we believe that we can only be
• 52:22
  Coach Bee: the ones to do stuff right.
• 52:23
  Coach Bee: And I do see that a lot more in my
• 52:28
  Coach Bee: female clients than in my male clients.
• 52:31
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 52:31
  Coach Bee: Now what I see in my male clients, because I don't wanna leave my
• 52:34
  Coach Bee: guys out
• 52:35
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 52:36
  Lisa Nichols: Let's let's hear what you see in them.
• 52:38
  Coach Bee: Is this weight
• 52:41
  Coach Bee: of providing.
• 52:43
  Coach Bee: Always providing.
• 52:45
  Coach Bee: Always fixing.
• 52:48
  Coach Bee: You know?
• 52:49
  Coach Bee: And so
• 52:49
  Lisa Nichols: They're fixers.
• 52:50
  Lisa Nichols: That's true.
• 52:51
  Coach Bee: So one of the things I've tried to start doing,
• 52:56
  Coach Bee: even at home, even with my male, business
• 53:00
  Coach Bee: partners and my clients, is doing the opposite that I do
• 53:04
  Coach Bee: with my female, clients is giving them permission
• 53:09
  Coach Bee: and say, what would it be like if you woke up
• 53:13
  Coach Bee: without that heavy weight of responsibility every day?
• 53:17
  Coach Bee: What would it be like if you just woke up
• 53:21
  Coach Bee: walking a little slower today, not rushing to fix.
• 53:25
  Coach Bee: What would it be like if someone tells you something, you just sit and
• 53:29
  Coach Bee: listen and not be the fixer?
• 53:31
  Coach Bee: You know?
• 53:32
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 53:32
  Coach Bee: You you actually unleash another part of your whole neurological system.
• 53:37
  Coach Bee: And so where we both men and women
• 53:41
  Coach Bee: carry a weight,
• 53:44
  Coach Bee: and none of us,
• 53:47
  Coach Bee: based off of our faith, are supposed to be walking with unending
• 53:51
  Coach Bee: weight.
• 53:52
  Coach Bee: We're supposed to be laying those burdens down.
• 53:54
  Lisa Nichols: Asking the burdens.
• 53:55
  Coach Bee: As yeah.
• 53:57
  Coach Bee: Asking for help when we need it.
• 53:59
  Coach Bee: Letting someone else come in.
• 54:01
  Coach Bee: Realizing that every assignment is not ours.
• 54:03
  Coach Bee: Every ball thrown is not ours to catch.
• 54:06
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 54:07
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 54:08
  Lisa Nichols: I had to learn that lesson the hard way too.
• 54:10
  Coach Bee: Oh, yeah.
• 54:11
  Coach Bee: We I mean, both of us.
• 54:12
  Coach Bee: Both
• 54:13
  Lisa Nichols: of us.
• 54:13
  Lisa Nichols: Used to say, oh, it's an open door.
• 54:16
  Lisa Nichols: And now I say an open door does not mean go.
• 54:19
  Coach Bee: Does not mean go. If the ball is thrown to you, j
• 54:22
  Coach Bee: ust like in baseball, some of them are going from the ground.
• 54:25
  Coach Bee: Doesn't mean that the game was a bad game.
• 54:27
  Coach Bee: It's just hue it's just human.
• 54:28
  Coach Bee: Human.
• 54:29
  Lisa Nichols: It is.
• 54:29
  Coach Bee: Being human.
• 54:30
  Lisa Nichols: It is.
• 54:31
  Lisa Nichols: Being human.
• 54:31
  Lisa Nichols: Being human.
• 54:33
  Lisa Nichols: Well, I I wanna just touch on this real quickly, and then we're gonna
• 54:36
  Lisa Nichols: talk about something extra.
• 54:37
  Lisa Nichols: But, you know, I mean, we've we have sprinkled faith in
• 54:41
  Lisa Nichols: here.
• 54:41
  Lisa Nichols: You and I both
• 54:44
  Lisa Nichols: believe in the same god.
• 54:45
  Lisa Nichols: We believe in the same savior.
• 54:48
  Lisa Nichols: He is fundamental.
• 54:50
  Lisa Nichols: He is like the the bedrock of my existence, truly,
• 54:54
  Lisa Nichols: and my business and everything.
• 54:57
  Lisa Nichols: You know, I mean and I know for me, and I think you would
• 55:00
  Lisa Nichols: say the same thing.
• 55:00
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, it truly my leadership, my decision making comes from
• 55:05
  Lisa Nichols: that place.
• 55:06
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 55:06
  Lisa Nichols: It comes from that that deep rooted place in my
• 55:10
  Lisa Nichols: faith, and I know that I'm not doing those things alone.
• 55:13
  Lisa Nichols: In fact, God, please help me not do it alone.
• 55:16
  Lisa Nichols: You know, I need I need your strength.
• 55:18
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 55:19
  Lisa Nichols: I don't need to do things in my strength because Lisa's gonna get it
• 55:22
  Lisa Nichols: wrong.
• 55:23
  Lisa Nichols: But, you know, I mean, C oach B ee, we have all sorts of listeners.
• 55:26
  Lisa Nichols: And so there may be listeners that don't believe the way you and
• 55:30
  Lisa Nichols: I believe.
• 55:31
  Coach Bee: I'm okay with that.
• 55:32
  Lisa Nichols: And I'm okay with that too.
• 55:35
  Lisa Nichols: But how would you say to them, like, about this
• 55:39
  Lisa Nichols: whole idea of purpose and identity?
• 55:41
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, you still have to figure out what your foundation
• 55:46
  Lisa Nichols: is.
• 55:46
  Lisa Nichols: What is your true north?
• 55:47
  Lisa Nichols: And that can be your values.
• 55:49
  Lisa Nichols: That can be all sorts of things.
• 55:51
  Lisa Nichols: But, you know, I mean, there may be people that go, well, I don't
• 55:54
  Lisa Nichols: believe anything you're you know, you you think about that.
• 55:57
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 55:57
  Lisa Nichols: So, I mean, how do you what would you say to them?
• 56:02
  Coach Bee: Okay.
• 56:03
  Coach Bee: So I would say that let's ground on the fact that we're
• 56:07
  Coach Bee: all human.
• 56:08
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 56:09
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 56:10
  Coach Bee: And what what we believe in or how
• 56:14
  Coach Bee: we believe we got here, if we wanna put that up on the chopping
• 56:18
  Coach Bee: block for questions, that's fine.
• 56:20
  Coach Bee: I don't have a problem with that.
• 56:21
  Coach Bee: I tell my clients all the time, you know where I'm coming from, but
• 56:24
  Coach Bee: I'm here for you human to human.
• 56:28
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 56:28
  Coach Bee: And my goal is to help you understand
• 56:33
  Coach Bee: why you had to be put on this earth.
• 56:37
  Coach Bee: How you got here, how you leave here is not what
• 56:41
  Coach Bee: we're questioning.
• 56:42
  Coach Bee: We're questioning that you are here.
• 56:44
  Coach Bee: And part of what life is the essence of life is, I believe it,
• 56:49
  Coach Bee: is the the discovery through trials, tribulations,
• 56:53
  Coach Bee: triumphs,
• 56:54
  Coach Bee: through courage,
• 56:57
  Coach Bee: through recovery,
• 56:59
  Coach Bee: finding your grounding, is to understand
• 57:03
  Coach Bee: why you're here, who you're here for, and when you feel
• 57:08
  Coach Bee: most alive.
• 57:08
  Coach Bee: So I always kind of talk to my clients about fire.
• 57:13
  Coach Bee: So all of us have this internal
• 57:17
  Coach Bee: fire.
• 57:18
  Coach Bee: Some people may call it a flutter.
• 57:19
  Coach Bee: Some people may say it's my goosebumps.
• 57:22
  Coach Bee: It's some type of sensing sensory feeling that you get
• 57:26
  Coach Bee: when you're in this zone or in this pocket where you feel like you're
• 57:30
  Coach Bee: fully engaged or when you might be working from a place of
• 57:34
  Coach Bee: empathy where you can feel another person.
• 57:37
  Coach Bee: Whether you've been through what they've been through or not, that's not even what
• 57:41
  Coach Bee: we're talking about.
• 57:42
  Coach Bee: It's the ability to connect.
• 57:44
  Coach Bee: And, and that connection is human centricity.
• 57:48
  Coach Bee: And so if you are going
• 57:52
  Coach Bee: the majority of your life numb
• 57:57
  Coach Bee: and unaware
• 57:58
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 57:59
  Coach Bee: And disconnected,
• 58:01
  Coach Bee: then I would probably say you're not even we're not
• 58:05
  Coach Bee: even talking about purpose at that point.
• 58:07
  Coach Bee: We're talking about that tomb experience, that
• 58:11
  Coach Bee: cave experience of shame and unwillingness
• 58:16
  Coach Bee: to,
• 58:18
  Coach Bee: engage in life, fear, being grappled with fear
• 58:22
  Coach Bee: that literally arrest you and paralyze you
• 58:26
  Coach Bee: from being able to
• 58:29
  Coach Bee: experience
• 58:31
  Coach Bee: the full color of life.
• 58:33
  Coach Bee: And that is where we really need
• 58:37
  Coach Bee: to start.
• 58:38
  Lisa Nichols: You gotta start there.
• 58:40
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 58:40
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 58:40
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 58:41
  Coach Bee: Because, to talk about things like spirituality and
• 58:45
  Coach Bee: faith
• 58:47
  Coach Bee: with someone that is in a cave.
• 58:50
  Coach Bee: Like, think about metaphorically when we've read stories,
• 58:54
  Coach Bee: historical stories.
• 58:56
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 58:56
  Coach Bee: Context.
• 58:57
  Coach Bee: When someone is in a cave experience, they are in complete
• 59:02
  Coach Bee: darkness.
• 59:03
  Coach Bee: And to talk to them about outside of that cave is light,
• 59:07
  Coach Bee: they don't wanna hear that.
• 59:09
  Lisa Nichols: Does it?
• 59:09
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 59:10
  Lisa Nichols: Exactly.
• 59:11
  Lisa Nichols: Hearing
• 59:12
  Coach Bee: and feeling what you are in that moment of darkness.
• 59:15
  Coach Bee: All of us, even when we have grounding,
• 59:19
  Coach Bee: have true moments grappled of darkness.
• 59:22
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 59:23
  Lisa Nichols: We can go through.
• 59:24
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 59:24
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 59:25
  Lisa Nichols: Absolutely.
• 59:26
  Coach Bee: And things like death, things like grief,
• 59:31
  Coach Bee: losing a job.
• 59:32
  Coach Bee: People are losing jobs.
• 59:33
  Coach Bee: People were working without pay.
• 59:36
  Coach Bee: You know, organizations are downsizing.
• 59:39
  Coach Bee: You know, we're being asked to do more with less.
• 59:42
  Coach Bee: We've got conversations about artificial intelligence versus human touch.
• 59:46
  Coach Bee: There's all these things that cause dark spaces
• 59:50
  Coach Bee: in our lives.
• 59:51
  Coach Bee: And at those moments, it's kinda hard to talk about
• 59:55
  Coach Bee: something bigger than us.
• 59:57
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 59:58
  Coach Bee: That is where connection.
• 1:00:01
  Coach Bee: Somebody being willing to come in the cave.
• 1:00:05
  Coach Bee: Somebody seeing you, being willing to pull you out.
• 1:00:08
  Coach Bee: That is the part of what I do that when I tell you it's
• 1:00:12
  Coach Bee: like electrifying for me, when I Mhmm.
• 1:00:15
  Coach Bee: See that cave open up and so Open up.
• 1:00:19
  Coach Bee: It never gets old for me.
• 1:00:21
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 1:00:22
  Lisa Nichols: Well, to use your words, Coach Bee , you become fully alive
• 1:00:26
  Coach Bee: Fully alive.
• 1:00:27
  Lisa Nichols: At that point.
• 1:00:28
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 1:00:29
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 1:00:29
  Coach Bee: And I would I would imagine even your book.
• 1:00:32
  Coach Bee: I haven't read it.
• 1:00:32
  Coach Bee: Can't wait.
• 1:00:33
  Coach Bee: But I feel like what I'm gonna experience when I read it
• 1:00:37
  Coach Bee: is you going into the cave with people with this book
• 1:00:41
  Coach Bee: and helping them create a path out.
• 1:00:44
  Coach Bee: And so I believe that we were designed not to be alone.
• 1:00:50
  Coach Bee: I believe we become alive and we come out the cave when someone knows
• 1:00:54
  Coach Bee: we're in there
• 1:00:55
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 1:00:56
  Coach Bee: And willing to call us out.
• 1:00:57
  Lisa Nichols: Willing to come in.
• 1:00:59
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 1:00:59
  Lisa Nichols: It's like,
• 1:01:01
  Lisa Nichols: I'll tell you another metaphor.
• 1:01:03
  Lisa Nichols: So I love the cave.
• 1:01:04
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Lisa Nichols: I love the cave metaphor.
• 1:01:06
  Lisa Nichols: Another metaphor for it is, doctor John Townsend, who has
• 1:01:10
  Lisa Nichols: written a lot of books.
• 1:01:11
  Lisa Nichols: He's a good friend, and he was on the podcast early on.
• 1:01:15
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 1:01:15
  Lisa Nichols: Well, this is probably twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen.
• 1:01:18
  Lisa Nichols: And he tells the story of the well.
• 1:01:20
  Lisa Nichols: And he said somebody's in the well.
• 1:01:23
  Lisa Nichols: And he said, you put the rope down and you go, come on, Coach Bee .
• 1:01:27
  Lisa Nichols: Climb up the wall.
• 1:01:28
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 1:01:29
  Coach Bee: Right.
• 1:01:29
  Lisa Nichols: They can't climb up the wall.
• 1:01:31
  Lisa Nichols: You gotta jump in the well.
• 1:01:32
  Coach Bee: Gotta give them something that comes out.
• 1:01:35
  Lisa Nichols: Then.
• 1:01:35
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 1:01:35
  Lisa Nichols: You do.
• 1:01:36
  Lisa Nichols: Gotta give them something to come out for.
• 1:01:38
  Lisa Nichols: So I just I love that.
• 1:01:39
  Lisa Nichols: That's just beautiful.
• 1:01:41
  Coach Bee: Good.
• 1:01:41
  Coach Bee: I like that.
• 1:01:42
  Lisa Nichols: I know.
• 1:01:42
  Lisa Nichols: I know.
• 1:01:43
  Lisa Nichols: I know.
• 1:01:44
  Lisa Nichols: The well in the cave.
• 1:01:45
  Lisa Nichols: Goodness gracious.
• 1:01:47
  Lisa Nichols: We are running out of time here.
• 1:01:49
  Lisa Nichols: I mean, I'd love to talk about your daughters.
• 1:01:51
  Lisa Nichols: I'd love to talk about work life balance, so we just may have to
• 1:01:53
  Lisa Nichols: do a p art two.
• 1:01:55
  Coach Bee: Gotcha.
• 1:01:56
  Lisa Nichols: But a part two.
• 1:01:58
  Lisa Nichols: But my final question for you, and this is the question I ask every
• 1:02:01
  Lisa Nichols: guest, what is the something extra, Coach Bee
• 1:02:04
  Lisa Nichols: , that you believe every leader needs?
• 1:02:08
  Coach Bee: I think
• 1:02:11
  Coach Bee: so many things that's coming up.
• 1:02:15
  Coach Bee: I think going back to where we started with this is, what are the
• 1:02:18
  Coach Bee: voices that have renamed us?
• 1:02:22
  Coach Bee: What are the voices
• 1:02:24
  Coach Bee: that gave us our identity identity that has stripped us away
• 1:02:28
  Coach Bee: from
• 1:02:30
  Coach Bee: being on the path of purpose?
• 1:02:33
  Coach Bee: I talked about that for myself.
• 1:02:38
  Coach Bee: But for me, I would say it started
• 1:02:42
  Coach Bee: probably as little Benetta.
• 1:02:46
  Coach Bee: It can start when a parent sees their children
• 1:02:50
  Lisa Nichols: Mhmm.
• 1:02:51
  Coach Bee: And what they named their children.
• 1:02:53
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 1:02:54
  Coach Bee: Yes.
• 1:02:54
  Coach Bee: If they stayed with their children, if they left their children,
• 1:02:59
  Coach Bee: if they've transposed their identity on their children, it can then trans
• 1:03:03
  Coach Bee: into when that child goes into the school environment.
• 1:03:09
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 1:03:10
  Coach Bee: And through the clubs and the clicks that they become
• 1:03:15
  Coach Bee: affinitized with, that can rename your identity.
• 1:03:19
  Coach Bee: And then you go off to a college or you start go to another
• 1:03:24
  Coach Bee: city, and you work your way all the way through life to this place
• 1:03:28
  Coach Bee: now called adulthood.
• 1:03:31
  Coach Bee: My challenge to myself,
• 1:03:34
  Coach Bee: to my friend Lisa, to our listeners is think
• 1:03:38
  Coach Bee: about
• 1:03:40
  Coach Bee: what voices renamed you.
• 1:03:44
  Coach Bee: And if those voices have driven you into a
• 1:03:48
  Coach Bee: cave,
• 1:03:49
  Coach Bee: into a rut, into a ditch, into a hard
• 1:03:54
  Coach Bee: place between a rock and a hard place.
• 1:03:58
  Coach Bee: It is your responsibility
• 1:04:01
  Coach Bee: to say to yourself, I am ready for the help to come.
• 1:04:06
  Coach Bee: It may be a podcast, this podcast.
• 1:04:09
  Coach Bee: It may be Lisa's book.
• 1:04:11
  Coach Bee: It may be someone that's been bugging you to go to lunch.
• 1:04:16
  Coach Bee: You're gonna always get the help when you cry.
• 1:04:19
  Coach Bee: You will get the help, but you gotta be honest about
• 1:04:24
  Coach Bee: where this started.
• 1:04:26
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 1:04:27
  Coach Bee: It didn't start with your current boss.
• 1:04:29
  Coach Bee: Sorry.
• 1:04:31
  Coach Bee: It started way back
• 1:04:33
  Lisa Nichols: Way before that.
• 1:04:34
  Lisa Nichols: Forever ago.
• 1:04:35
  Coach Bee: And so sometimes we walk into marriages, into jobs,
• 1:04:39
  Coach Bee: into partnerships, into businesses, and we're expecting those people
• 1:04:44
  Coach Bee: to figure this out for us.
• 1:04:47
  Coach Bee: We have to take the step.
• 1:04:49
  Coach Bee: And so sometimes in the cave, it's okay to cry,
• 1:04:53
  Coach Bee: cry out, but you gotta make a move.
• 1:04:58
  Lisa Nichols: That's oh, that's so good.
• 1:05:00
  Lisa Nichols: That is so good.
• 1:05:01
  Lisa Nichols: You gotta make a move.
• 1:05:02
  Lisa Nichols: Take that first step.
• 1:05:04
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 1:05:05
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 1:05:05
  Coach Bee: Figure out what the point is to start.
• 1:05:07
  Lisa Nichols: It can be different, and there is light.
• 1:05:09
  Coach Bee: There there will be eventually.
• 1:05:12
  Coach Bee: Eventually.
• 1:05:13
  Coach Bee: So, yeah, the power to run is our power to be
• 1:05:17
  Coach Bee: willing to be courageous and say where the voice has started.
• 1:05:21
  Coach Bee: Mhmm.
• 1:05:21
  Coach Bee: Not to place blame.
• 1:05:24
  Coach Bee: Right?
• 1:05:24
  Lisa Nichols: Right.
• 1:05:25
  Lisa Nichols: But to acknowledge.
• 1:05:26
  Lisa Nichols: To acknowledge.
• 1:05:27
  Lisa Nichols: Because if you if you don't really acknowledge the truth, you cannot
• 1:05:31
  Lisa Nichols: get past that.
• 1:05:32
  Lisa Nichols: Right?
• 1:05:33
  Coach Bee: Yeah.
• 1:05:33
  Lisa Nichols: So Yeah.
• 1:05:34
  Lisa Nichols: That is that's really good, Coach Bee .
• 1:05:36
  Lisa Nichols: Well, this has been delightful.
• 1:05:38
  Lisa Nichols: I knew it would be me.
• 1:05:40
  Lisa Nichols: And, yeah, I think you and I could probably talk for twenty hours.
• 1:05:44
  Lisa Nichols: Hours.
• 1:05:46
  Lisa Nichols: Yes.
• 1:05:46
  Lisa Nichols: But thank you so much for making the time.
• 1:05:49
  Lisa Nichols: I know how busy you are.
• 1:05:50
  Lisa Nichols: Never.
• 1:05:51
  Lisa Nichols: And our listeners, follow Coach Bee .
• 1:05:54
  Lisa Nichols: Reach out to her.
• 1:05:55
  Lisa Nichols: Yeah.
• 1:05:56
  Lisa Nichols: If you need coaching, if you wanna learn more about what she's doing Mhmm.
• 1:05:59
  Lisa Nichols: With the Power to Run, please do reach out.
• 1:06:02
  Lisa Nichols: So thank you so much, my friend.
• 1:06:04
  Lisa Nichols: Have a great rest of your day.
• 1:06:05
  Coach Bee: And keep doing great things.
• 1:06:07
  Coach Bee: I'm so proud of the work you're doing.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 4: Thank you for listening to today's show.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: Something extra with Lisa Nichols is a Technology Partners production.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: Copyright Technology Partners Inc two thousand and nineteen.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 4: For show notes or to reach Lisa, visit tpi dot co
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: slash podcast.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: Don't forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or wherever
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 4: you listen.