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Capitulo 017: Femme Defense - Don't Leak My Nudes · Locatora Radio [A Radiophonic Novela]

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Radio Radio Radio comis a myth and Bullshit, a radio
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: phonic novella Local Radio hosted by Malamuno and welcome back
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: to look At Radio. This is ther S FM. This
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: is Malalla, Welcome back, Welcome back to local radio where
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: we celebrate the brilliance and legacies of women and fems
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: of color. This is another installment of Brown Girl Hour,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to dive in. Yes, this is
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: capitulo thing. Yeah, that's a mouthful. You're so funny. But no, like,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: there's so much to talk about. There's so much going on.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: So much has happened since we've last oaken, since our
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: last which I hope you all enjoyed. Yes, it was
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: so much fun to record that one, to engage with
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: y'all online to see the responses. One of my favorites. Actually,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pull it up was one of our listeners.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I believe she lives in the house. Um, you know
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Yes, let me pull that up
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: at let's see the language. No, Um, there has been
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: so much going on in the world, in our lives,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: um that we want to catch everybody up on. Well,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about today and We'll get into
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: the actual content in a bit, but we're talking about
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: fem defense. Don't leak my nudes. Addition, yes, because this
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: is really relevant right now. As you all know, Rob
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Kardashian was basically participating in revenge porn against Black China
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: and posted her nudes online. So we're going to talk
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: about that. That's our topic for today. Um, but we
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: also wanted to shout out Yes, I want to shout
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: out Vernic Raides. She tweeted at us that she was
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: listen to Radio Multidimensional Home in the car with her
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: seventeen year old daughter, and she says, grateful for this
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: episode helps me be a better mom. I love it,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: absolutely love it. I love that we have listeners listening
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: with their daughters, with their brima's sisters, family members, friends, everyone,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: a community event, A radiophonic novel. It's a radiophonic novella,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: like people are coming together and talking about being a home.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Don't make my nudes. I think it's great, Yes, being
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a loca, being a loca. So thank you guys for
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: joining us, for showing us love, and for sharing your
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: hoe tips with us. Yes, there were so many good ones.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: There were a lot. There were very details. They were
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: very detailed. Y'all put some a lot of thoughts as
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: you showed extensive tensional howing, very intentional howing, very extensive planning,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: you know, really well prepared ho kids. So basically, there
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: are so many I was just very impressed that there's
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: so many more heads out here who are just ready
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: for anything in any situation. You know what. I felt
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: like one of the common ones with carrying an extra
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: set of panties, which I actually never do. And I'm
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: going to add that to the list of necessities. That's
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: a good one. Yeah, I thought it was interesting. One listener,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: amongst her other accouterments, said that she also takes a
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: pen and paper in her like specifically, and I'm wondering why. Yeah,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious. Let us I think it's interesting. Yeah,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah. Um. So before we get into our topics,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: we also, of course we want to do some housekeeping.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: We always like to shout out, um, some of our
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: listeners or folks that were working with. So first off,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: we want to shout out Chelsea Monneau from the University
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: of the House Austin. She is a journey she's getting
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: her degree in journalism and she's working with like Latino.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I believe it's like a Hispanic publication quote Hispanic um.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And she's actually doing a feature on and framing it
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: around mental health. So we will let you all know
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: when that's available. But we're really thankful to Chelsea that
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: she messaged us that she's working with us and wants
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to do a feature on us. She was really sweet's
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: very sweet. Um. Also, if you're at a university a
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: college and you would like to take us there, invite
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: us available, invite us over, fly us out, you know,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: fly us out. We've done a couple of university engagements
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: so far. We've done UC Santa Barbara, U C l A. Yes,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: we've done a few conferences at PCC. We were at PCC.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So we want to do more, you know, like from
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: the Academy. Absolutely, we have a pending one for next year.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: We can't tell you, I know, I don't know, you
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: know how we are so excited. Okay, anyways, moving on,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: moving on, take it away mon so um. We also
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: had another really exciting collaboration basically one of our beloved followers,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: d Damari. She is rape crisis and domestic violence advocate,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: a survivor advocate like I am. UM. She lives and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: works in Pennsylvania, and she also she's really active online.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: She's do UM and she also blogs for the Stop
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Street Harassment campaign and she recently reached out to us
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: because you know, she's a listener. She listens to the
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: podcast and she wanted to write a podcast, UM, a
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: blog entry about our LA on fem defense and street
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: harassment and how we respond to it, how we protect
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: ourselves from it. So we will. We posted it on
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the on the Instagram, so go ahead and take a read.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: De Rodriguez Um. She wrote this beautiful article about her
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: experiences with street harassment. UM. Latina's Latino people in street
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: harassment and sexual harassment. So so definitely give it a read. UM,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: show it some love, share it with your friends, and yeah,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you, tomorrow you We love you,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We also recently did a photo
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: shoot with me Viva, so it was so much fun.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: We did it in Lincoln Heights and it was a
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: lot of fun. It was so hot, but it was great. Um. Yeah,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: our lovely friend Arianna did the photos did the photos, UM,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: and I think you guys have seen there's we posted
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: a f you've seen a few of them, but there's
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: more coming. There's more, there's more. We're gonna be taking
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: a lot more photos. Actually, we're gonna have a whole
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: new set of photos coming up. Yes, we love taking
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: we you know. Um. And then finally, Mala went to
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: an event last night with our friends, so she wanted
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: to talk a little bit about that. Yeah. Just there's
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: this really fun party um that takes place on Friday
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: nights at Dorado, which is in downtown on Spring Street. Um,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and the people who put together the La Junta party
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: also put together this party and it's called Beenya and
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: it's on Fridays and it's really fun, um delicious drinks.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot going on on Spring Street.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: So that's where we went last night, me and Sona.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: We had a great time and we saw we saw
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: the people out and so shouts out to whoever we
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: saw and said hello too, that's awesome, that's awesome. Good. Well, yeah,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: so stay tuned for in the future, we will be
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: doing another collaboration with h Yeah, so keep your eyes peeled.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: We're six months deep, you know, I think more like
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: seven eight months, oh into our po podcast. Oh yeah,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: it's creeping up on a year. It is, so we
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: will have some exciting news in the future, in the
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: near future, near future. Yeah, alright, so are we ready?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: It ready? It? So? Have y'all been keeping up with Kardassian,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Black China and Kardashian Internet? Oh my god, it's a
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: hot mess. The family is a mess. The dynamics are
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: so bizarre and stressful. It just seems like a stressful
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: last family to be a part of and then to
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: become a part of, because Black China has become a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: part of their family permanently, because she has a child
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  Speaker 1: with Rob Kardashian. You know. So what happened. Rob Kardashian
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  Speaker 1: has been a bad guy, a bad boy in a
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: bad way. He posted leaked Black China's nude photos on
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  Speaker 1: Instagram and on Twitter and wherever else, and he was
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  Speaker 1: talking a lot of shit about her. Um, I guess
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  Speaker 1: you know, she's been hooking up with other people and
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: doing her thing. And she's an adult, and they're two adults,
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  Speaker 1: you know, and they have separate lives at this point.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think they're together anymore, you know. And so yeah,
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  Speaker 1: Rob basically violated her trust and distributed pictures of her
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  Speaker 1: without her consent on the Internet. And now it's actually
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  Speaker 1: at the point where Black China has high an attorney,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Lisa Bloom, who was actually Gloria Alred's daughter. I had
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: no idea. Oh yes, oh yes, they have like a dynasty. Oh,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I believe it a legal dynasty. Um. And so Lisa
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  Speaker 1: Bloom is representing her. They recently went to court, um,
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  Speaker 1: and Black China was granted a temporary domestic violence restraining order.
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  Speaker 1: And I think Rob Kardashian, his attorney, I think, came
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  Speaker 1: out with a statement. I believe that Rob has agreed
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  Speaker 1: basically to like the stipulations of a restraining order, agreed
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  Speaker 1: to stay away from her good and has like in
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: some way apologized. But so let's talk about this because
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: we've been seeing a lot of people basically saying I
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: didn't know the term revenge porn. I didn't know where
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  Speaker 1: avenge porn was a thing. How is this revenge porn?
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  Speaker 1: If she has been an erotic dancer, a stripper, if
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  Speaker 1: she's post nude before, Yeah, I've seen I saw like, um,
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  Speaker 1: like a meme or something, just one of those Instagram,
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  Speaker 1: um Twitter post and it's like a video of Black
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  Speaker 1: China and she's danced, saying she's completely nude and she's dancing,
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  Speaker 1: and then the cat like the the top of the
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: post is something like, oh, how come this is okay?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: But posting her nudes isn't. Well, she was a dancer,
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  Speaker 1: that was her job. She was working. You know, at
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: sub establishments you can have phones, and it's at some
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you cannot, right, So whatever the case is for that one,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: like she was working and she being naked was a
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  Speaker 1: part of her job, and him violating her trust and
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  Speaker 1: her going against her consent, it is not the same thing.
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  Speaker 1: And it's it's really troubling to see not only men
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  Speaker 1: but also women online commenting like, well, she deserves it,
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  Speaker 1: like she was cheating, she was this, she was that,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: But nobody's privacy should be violated, you know, And it's like,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: you know, it's so strange to me how people refuse
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: to allow women like consent and autonomy and decision making
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: power over our own bodies. Like people do not want
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: us to have control over our own bodies. They It's
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: so strange, you know, Like Black China wanted to work
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: in that capacity or that was her option at the time, right,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and she was consenting to doing that and to dancing.
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  Speaker 1: So that's okay because it's her body and she can
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: do whatever she wants. But people like to excuse, you know,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: like betrayal of women's trust and like betrayal of women's privacy.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: People make up excuses for it, right they do. You know,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: in our last I made, I made a reference to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: a a Twitter post that I referenced it, and I
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: said that it really stuck with me, and I actually
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: went back and I looked for it because I really
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: wanted to. I thought that it was still relevant to
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: today's so let me pull that up. Um. But you know,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: basically in in the same the same sentiment, like they're
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: really it's really like people cannot grasp that a woman
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: can do whatever she wants, but she has every right
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: to make any decision that she wants. And you know
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: that phrase, you give them an inch, they'll take a mile.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: That's how people interact with women's bodies, with fem bodies,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I would say, with queer bodies also, and excusing violence
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: against these people, these groups of people because it's like, okay,
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  Speaker 1: so I posed nude once, so that means now that
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  Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want with me to me
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: because I chose to do this one thing one time,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, it's and it's no wonder that a
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: lot of women are very wary of doing things like
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: dating men or sending pictures to men because look at
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: how you all act like children. It's ridiculous. Children don't
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: even do this. It's ridiculous, you know, like it's malicious.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: So basically to break it down right, especially for our
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: younger listeners, so that we're clear, you are your body
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: right once again, is yours, point blank period, and it's
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: it's not people don't get to vote about what happens
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: to your body and what you do to your body,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Like you can choose to share your body with others,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: but it's for you. It's not up for debate, right,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: you know, if you say no, it means no. It's
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: your body is a dictatorship and you're the dictator. It's
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: it's a queendom, like it's not a democracy if not.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: You make the rules, you write the rules, you enforce them,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: and it's I think it's really hard, especially when you're
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: young and you're you can feel like a pressure from
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: a partner to do something, whether we to send a
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: nude um to have sex with them or in whatever capacity. Um,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: it's really common, and then those kinds of patterns continue
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: to cycle through relationships. Absolutely, it can be very like
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: that's a warning side, right, it's a red flag. And
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk more about basically UM FEM defense
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: and safety tips and tricks and red flags and warning
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: signs and what to do in ways to respond and
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: options if somebody does violate your trust and like your
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: nude and there are some tips and ways to keep
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: your helf safe, you know, and to kind of figure
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: out what if if you know, what the best option
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: is for you. But like me, like when I'm on
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: my my like emergency response shifts, like for work, when
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I'm answering calls on the l A Rape and Battery hotline,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I get a good number of crisis calls from young
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: women who are you know, maybe they're in high school,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: their teens, women in their twenties and adult women you know,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: older women also, but the majority I would say are
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: like teenagers, young women with a lot of concerns and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: really scared and really nervous because they send pictures to
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: some guy and he's now holding their pictures hostage and
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: threatening to do things with them right, or to send
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: them to people, send them to the girls parents. And
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: these girls are very scared because what they don't want
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: their parents to know, because they're going to get in
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: trouble for sending nuts to a boy. And it's criminalized
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: that could be considered sending. Like when youth send pictures
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: even of themselves, it's criminalized and it's considered almost like
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: distributing child pornography. So there's so much wrapped up in it.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: It so difficult and complicated, and it makes sexuality and
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: like sharing sexuality with another person so complicated so taboo.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Also so taboo, because how do you seek help when
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: you're afraid of the stigma that you're going to get
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: in trouble for sending the needs to begin with, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you're still being exposed and violated. Yeah, and I think
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: because of UM. Now we're in like a new media, right,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So now we have now we have the internet, now
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: we have smartphones and all these things. I actually found
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: that I shared with Mama. I found this video of
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: a head that she was um. I went to court
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: because she was seeing her ex boyfriend for the first
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: time and she was like filing a case I guess
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: like revenge porn because he distributed a video of her
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and when, um, when this happened, she didn't know what
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: to do. So she called the police and she was like,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: this is what's happening online? What do I do? And
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: they had no idea how to handle it. So I think, like,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: even this situation with Black China and Rob Kardashian, it's
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: really setting a precedent. So, so what happened online and
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: how there are legal ramifications that we that you need
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: to consider, right, Oh, yeah, there's legal action that can
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: be if someone violates your trust and leaks your nudes
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: or leaks you know, personal information about you in an
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: a vengeful way. There are legal options. There are legal
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: actions that can be taken, you know. Um, so yeah,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: but how are we on time? We're good on time.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: We can go into a song break so we can
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: get into the nude edition of fem Defense. This is
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: actually going to turn out to be like a cross
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: between fem defense and fem tech. You're right, we do
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: this a lot. Do we talk about fem tech and
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: then end up bringing fem defense Because you have to
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: stay safe on the internet. On the Internet, but as
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: you know, women or fem's women and fem's um, you're
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: on the you can be on the internet a lot.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So really it is a bridge. It is how do
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: you stay safe? Right, absolutely using the internet to keep
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: you safe and staying safe on the internet. Lord, all right,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna leave you or not leave you, but
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: we're gonna take a little break. Pod castera belly rast
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: and and and and and and and and and and
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: and and and and and and and and and and
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and and belly rang and and and send them rack
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: and and and and ra and and and and um
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: from from from from from from of it and ship.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: So let's get into it. Yes, our tips and trips. Yes,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: so you know nuds we send them, we received it,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: We send them. We do send news and we send nuds.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: We send neuds to each other. We a nudes to
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: each other for a while, like the Mommy Collective, Like
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: we would like send our nuds to each other and
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: then hashtag it. Don't don't make my news. I love it.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: You know what. Sometimes I will take a photo of
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: myself naked and I'm like, it's just for me. I'm
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: not sending it to anyone, and there are times where
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I want to send it to my friends, like my
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: lady friends, my women friends, like so they can praise
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: me and they can some gods worship in that moment.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: That's literally what it is. It's exactly goddess worship and
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: just affirmation, bodily affirmation. And that has definitely we have
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: done that in the Mommy collective, in our group chat
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: where we send nudes and and even just generally photos
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: of like a cute outfit. Yeah, like oh look at
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: my literally just this is what I'm wearing today. I
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: just want to let you all know. You know, yes, yes,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: the true right, we're like reading the alarm my clothes. Yeah,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: So who deserves to see your nude? Nobody? And I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: think that's one reason why we send them to each other.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I literally like right now, like I don't trust them,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: the men, you know, I don't try. And that's part
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: of like what makes all of this so upsetting is
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: like sending nudes is fun. It's wholesome in a lot
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: of ways. It's just your natural state, your naked body,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: you know, that's all. But it becomes so demonized and
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: so complicated, and it can be turned on you. So
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: for me. My answer is, no, one deserves you, but
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: he deserves to except the ladies of the Mammies Collective. No,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, there are definitely guys who are grown ups.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: There are people who are grown ups. But I think
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: that the revenge porn thing tends to be predominantly men
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: leaking women's ship. I just think that's the predominant. Like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: and in all of this, I've seen in all of
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: this throughout Kardashian and this isn't the first time that
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: a woman's celebrities, right, but I think happens all the time.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: They don't look, I don't think thinking that this was
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: the Okay, I can't say that this is I'm making
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: a huge generalization and it could be wrong, but I'm
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I want to say that this is the first time
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: that it was just on Instagram, like that was his media,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: not like, oh, it was leaked on the internet and
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: on some website, because that has happened with women with
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: actresses somewhere, right, But this was he was purposely leaking
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: it on Instagram as revenge, writing caption saying she was
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: cheating on me. This this what you know? Whatever? The
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: others is usually just just the video or just the photo.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: But this was like very deliberate, intentional, you know, and
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: that's why showing her he was shaming her for having
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: a good having a sex life exactly and for him
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: and during and maybe even after and after and which
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: you're describing like his actions the way you described it.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: He definitely aligns with the Penal Code around the law
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: around revenge porn, Like it just hits all the marks,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: and we actually have it here pulled up, so it's
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: like there's no denying that this is literally just by
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the book definition of revenge porn what she did. There's
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: really no gray area. Right. So this is in Penal
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Code section sixty seven UM in California. Right, So each
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: state is going to have their own different laws. I
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: don't know if every state has a revenge porn law,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: but California doesn't want to say, like thirty seven states do.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: It could be wrong, but I know that it's there's
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: quite a few. There's quite a few. Yeah. So this
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: is the California one Penal Code section seven. It is
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: it is now a crime to distribute private pictures of
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: a person's intimate parts if such distribution is intended to
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: cause serious emotional distress. And does. So it is now
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: a misdemeanor to distribute so called revenge porn. I mean,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: that's what he did. That's what he did, and um,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: it's not cool. Don't do it. There's no excuse for it,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: you know. And if there are men out there who
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: are frustrated or feel like like, you know, I never
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: get photos or women don't want to send me photos,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: well you know why. This is why you can blame
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: your homies. I always hope, and I'm positive what does
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: not happen, but I always hope that after a breakup
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: that people delete the news. Oh my god, I have
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: I have. I have like sat people down like x's
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: and stuff and said like everything needs to be deleted
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: and I need you to go into your cloud. And
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: I think those experiences have also taught me that, like,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you know, if you want nudes to happen, they can happen.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: There are really there are tips and there are ways
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: to keep yourself safe. So let's get into some of
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: the tips. Yeah, so for so, that's one of them. Right. Um,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: you have the right to ask somebody to delete photos
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: off of their phone of you, you know, you make
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: the request, use your voice, you know, advocate for yourself. Um,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: try it if you're uncomfortable. It's better to just do
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: it than to not, and you know, and just to
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: stay silent. The other tip that I would recommend also,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: it's like you listen, you can do nudes however you
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: want to do them. If you're the sender, if it's
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: your body being exposed, then you make up all the rules.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: You know, it's on your that's your territory, that's your body,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: so they're really should the person who's receiving the photos
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: really shouldn't have any say or negotiations. It's your way
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: or the highway if you're the one who it's a
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: picture of your body. Right, So that means that you
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: can sure like nutes can happen, or you can take
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: videos of you know, sex or whatever. But maybe your
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: rule is it's only on your phone. It lives on
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: your phone and that's it. You guys can look at
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: them together, watch them together, whatever it is. Some people
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: do that and that's completely up to you. Yeah. One
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: thing that I was telling Melon that I thought it
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: was kind of funny that I remember Adrian Bylon did
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: like a little mini segment on the Talk. Right. This
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: would also robbed Kardashian's ex girlfriend. Oh yeah, this is
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: so true. My god. Right. She also, in no shade
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: at all, she had his name tattooed on her on
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: her butt. I did not know the name. She's very
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: open about it. So she's talked about it on the talk.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I think that's the name of the show, right, the real,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: the real. So there's a talk though, I think, okay,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: but we're talking about the real real, so the real. Um. Anyway,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: So she actually does share some some tips for sending nudes,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and one of them is, if you're going to send
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: let's say, a picture of your breast or your booty
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, some type of some type of picture, UM,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: do so so that nothing is recognizable in the photo.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: For instance, do not wear your nameplate if you're going
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: to send a photo, you know, if you have maybe
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: for this specifically for me, like if I'm going to
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: send one, UM, make sure not to get any of
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: my tattoos or something that can you can see it
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: and be like, oh, yeah, that's that's that's her r um. Yeah.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: So those I think, and I think that that's a
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: really those are that's a good one. You're going to
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: send a cleavage shot like that could be anybody's cleaving,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: anyone you know, like who would know? Yeah, that is
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: a good one. That's a good one, especially to test
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the waters even just to begin with. And that's the
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: thing you can and when it comes to nudes, if
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: someone wants nudes or you want to send someone nudes,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you can test the waters a little bit. It doesn't
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: have to be full nude the first one that you say,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: so like, here's something that you could do, right, And
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: it takes oh my god, this takes how much planning
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: just wanting to engage in this practice really, actually, now
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: that I think about it, it does take a lot
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: of running. You have to anticipate, in plan and prepare.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: So like snapchat, right your snaps disappeared. Maybe what you
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: want to do is if you want to send nudes
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: to somebody, you start off with snaps, and you start
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: off with like a more conservative snap to just test
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: the waters, right, and you can tell if they're screenshotting it.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: If that person is screenshotting it without asking permission, then
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: now you know whether or not you want to send
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: more or not send more, revealing or just stop. That
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: is a really good way to test the waters for sure.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: You know what, Snapchat does have a feature now that
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: where you can save photos, like you hold it down
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: and it saves it, and it saves it on the
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: on the thread. Because that makes all I see okay,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: and the sender obviously knows is notified because I don't Drew,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: and I'm that's your how Snapchat works entirely. I don't
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: use Snapchat anymore, but I'm just saying you could. Yeah,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: but the same, like it is a good way to
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: test the waters and see, yeah, just in case you know,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: um yeah, what else? What else? Like the other thing
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: is if you want to send nudes, like we were
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: talking about, it doesn't always have to be like for
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: sexual gratification of another person. Like, if you want to
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: send nudes, send nudes and you can kind of get
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: the same satisfaction if you send them to your friend. Honestly,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I have sent satisfying Yeah. I have spent booty pictures
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: to probably all of my very very close friends. Look
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: at how good my ask looks today. Look at mind
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: you underwear so cute. One time I went to Big
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Bear and I like, I remember this photo. Actually I
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: went to Big Bear with with the guy that I was,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: you know, dating at the time. We would take a
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: lot of trips all the time. So we went to
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Big Bear and we got like a little cabin and
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I took a nude photo on a polaroid with like
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: next to the fireplace, like with my big furry boots.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: But then I was like, nude except for my boots.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: And then I sent a picture of that picture to
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: the mommy's and they were like, oh, hello, Zovie. Yeah,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: we were like scottest, Yes, it was so fun. And
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: then the guy that I was with, he's the one
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: who took the picture. And then I was like, oh
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: my god, I'm going to send this to all of
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: my friends. That's hilarious. And he was like, why that's
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: funny because it's from culture. This is I sent the
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: same a picture I was wearing like a little um,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I was wearing lingerie, and I sent it to the
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: mommy's as well, and I just and I took it.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I literally took it just to send it to them,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: because this is after Mama had sent our pictures. So
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: we started, I mean her pictures, so we um we
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: started like a little thing that I think within that
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: week or two, we were sending each other some photos. Yeah,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: and it was all hashtag don't think my dude, so yeah,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: so fun, so fun, And there are things that you
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: can do. Lie when I get crisis calls, a lot
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: of girls just don't know what to do, right when
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: they're being threatened with their nudes, they're going to leak
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: their nudes. It's basically the nudes are being weaponized against you, Right,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: what can you do in a lot of people don't
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: know what the options are because they don't know it's
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: it's illegal. So first and foremost, um, you can file
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: of police reports. That is not always an option for everybody.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I don't like push people to go to the police
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: or to file reports, but just saying that it is
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: an option that exists in the world, should you feel
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: that that's the recourse you want to take, right, So,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: like Black China probably had to file a police report
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: about about this whole situation, so I walk into Because
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: it's on the internet, things get complicated because that there's
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: no really territory there. It's in the ether. Yeah, So
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: but you go to your local police station, and because
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: it's not occurring in a physical specific location, just go
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: to your local police station. Tell the what's happening, file report,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: show them any evidence that you might have. You take
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: if he's leaking things, say that document if he leaks things,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: or this this person that you're engaging with, whoever they are,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: if they leak things, take screenshots of all of it.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Document all of it. Can you can even confront that
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: person and say stop this, don't do this, Like I'm
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: filing a report, take screenshots of all those communications. Because
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: when you walk into a police station, like and you
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: try and file a crime report, police actually do very
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: minimal investigations into things like this. You have to take
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: them the evidence. Basically, they're they're not they're not getting
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: search warrants and subpoenas to get his phone and check
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: his phone. That's not happening, right. You have to be
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: proactive and show them document what's been going on. Um,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: So there's that. You can also, you know, contact let
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: me actually give you guys the number for a crisis
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: hotline if something happens and you do want to talk
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: to a crisis counselor. Um, that's always a good option
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: based on your particular situation, right, Um, you know, thinking
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: about it, it's also like, not only are the nudes
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: or the photos or whatever this may be. Like, not
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: only is it weaponized, but you're also dehumanized in the process, right,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: and that's why you feel so violated or you feel
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: you know, your your trust was completely broken and now
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: you're just you're you're reduced to an object. There's no
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: humanity in it anymore, no none. Um And and people
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: jump on the leaking of nudes and women's nude bodies
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: when women's new bodies are exposed somehow, whether it's by
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: our choice or it's because violation of our consent, anytime
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: that our bodies are exposed, people, especially men, especially since
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: hetero straight men, use that as an opportunity to dehumanize
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: us and to do violence to us. There's a reason
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: why all nude strip clubs there's they're not allowed to
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: have alcohol in there, right, because then people can't control
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: themselves or choose not to write and go crazy when
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: women our nude. Um and it's not cool. Yeah, like
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: like it's just too much, you know. Um. I think
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: that that's one of the reasons why the artists that
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I really love Monica Kim Garza, she paints nudes of
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: women of color. I love Monica Kangarza. Yeah, check her out,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: you guys. I wrote an article about her about a
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: year about a year ago for a vibe magazine Vibe
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Viva Online, and the title of it is called Nalagas
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: and kim Chi the Art of Monica kim Garza because
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: she's have Korean, haf Mexican and she paints these beautiful
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: images of women of color, just like eating tacos, drinking
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: beer on the phone, the luxuriating, riding bikes, and it's
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: like a world free from that type of violence, Like
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: those women in her paintings can just exist in their
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: skin and be happy and enjoy their own bodies and
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: not face violence the way that we do in real life. Yeah, exactly,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: that's a that's a feen escape as well. That's a famscape,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: that type of that type of vision. Oh my god,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: we should do an episode about our favorite like art
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: artists and like the femscapes that they create. It's a
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: good idea. Let's love it. Let's say that we'll table inside.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: You guys are like, this is like behind the scene,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: on the scenes at the same time, but at the
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: same time exactly exactly. Um yeah, I'm just pulling up
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: these hotline numbers that you guys can call if you
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: need to. So if you're in l A somewhere and
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: you need to speak to a crisis counselor you can
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: call the l A Rape and Battery Hotline, and um,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: there's also a national domestic violence hotline. But I'll just
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: give you this crisis line. So the number is two
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: and three six two six three, and that's a resource.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing. That's very important. M hm. There
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: was something I wanted to say, and I love um
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: all right, all right, have anything else? We have gotten
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: through a lot of material today. There was I mean,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: there's always so much to talk about with these things. Um,
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: be safe, everybody be safe on the internet. Yeah, and
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: you know, I also want to shout out anybody who's
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: ever been shamed for their nudes. That's what I wanted
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: to say. There's so much victim blaming someone when a
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: nude lead because it's like, well, she shouldn't have taken
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: it in the first place, why not, right, that's why
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: did she send it to anyone? Right? She knew what
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: to expect it. And it's crazy because it's like there
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: is nothing violent or mean, more dangerous really or harmful
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: to anybody of me taking a picture of my naked body.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I literally am hurting no one, So I don't understand. Yeah,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: the victim blaming in the stigma, any excuse to violate,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: always women. It's exhausting, so tiring, you guys, like, I'm tired,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Let us live, let us breathe, right, Jesus, I'm dire.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: It's like micro managing on a mass scale. No, don't
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: take pictures of yourself. No, don't send pictures. No, don't
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: do this, don't do that, don't wear this, don't God,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: damna Jesus, control freaks. Patriarchy is a control freak. Really
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: a micro manager. Patriarchy is a micro manager. Make culture
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: is a micro manager. I am exhausted. It's hard being
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: a woman out here. It is sucking, exhausting, it really is.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: But you know I wouldn't. There are days where I
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: wake up and I'm like, thank God, I'm not a
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: street man, Like, thank you Jesus. You know, I'm grateful
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: to be honestly be a woman. And you know what,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: So if you're going to send a nude to send
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: it to your friends, send it to your close friends.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: They deserve it. They do deserve it. They deserve they will,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: they will worship, worship the photo and praise you in
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: a way that I think, I don't think you're a
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: potential partner or a man. Will but also your permission,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: because you need You can't just oh well, the flip
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: side is unsolicited. Oh yeah, you have to ask because
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: what we what don't we like? Oh so here's the catch.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: So we get stigmatized and we're not supposed to send nudes,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: but we get listened in decades. Men send nudes all
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: the time, but they impose them on us. We don't
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: necessarily want them or ask for them, and yet there
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: they are. God damn it. Do you see? I don't
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: think I've actually ever received a dick pick? Oh lord,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I've received a few, but I have like only I
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: think it's been like at least via social media. It's
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: been very like a parent that I've only ever been
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: with women and dated women. Someone like a new realm
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: now that my sexuality is more open and I've identifies
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: more fluid interesting, But that is not an invitation to
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: send me to that. You need to have consents to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: also send a photo to someone, because that's also in
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of way, it is a violation to just
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: send a naked image, an image of a naked body
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: or of genitalia to somebody without their knowledge or their consent,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: or like letting them know ahead of time. I mean,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: if you are, if you guys are already doing that
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: and you send random pictures to each other because you
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: have that understanding and that's something that you do, then cool.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: But if it's like a first time thing, yeah, you
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: have to ask. You have to ask, And I send
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you all this SPOTOI took. I really like it, by
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: the way I'm naked, by the way I'm comsolutely naked,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: and I hope you like it, and then people will
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: be like, yes, of course, exactly exactly. That's a really
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: good point to make. Definitely always asked. Yeah, And so
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I'm actually really happy that we started talking about the
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: unsolicited dick pics because otherwise, just like so many other
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: issues related to patriarchy and rape culture, it all becomes
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: focused on like how women experience it, and it becomes like, oh,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: this is a women's issue, but men are participating in
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: some way. Men send nudes, but quite often they send
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: it in a way that is abusive and unsolicited. Yes, absolutely,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: but they don't get the shame and the social stigma
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: for it. It's like funny to them, Oh my god,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: like they can get away with whatever they want. They
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: really can, can they do because they spend. Because the
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: thing is, like, nobody wants to see an unsolicited dick. PI.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think right, no, not me, not
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: if I want it, I'll let you know if you know,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: if I want to see your dick. I'm just saying
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: it's true. It's absolutely true. And I don't know anyone. Yeah,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: so that yeah, exactly. There's just no shame in it.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm just like, it's horrible, it's awful.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: This is why everybody say no to men all the time,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: say you know, to them, say no to them, you know,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: curve them, deny them, stomp on their dreams, say no,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: say no. And actually I have I am of the
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: firm belief I have always believed like men, straight men
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: should be grateful to women when we say no to
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: them and when we set boundaries and when we make
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: them see our choice and our humanity. You know, you
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: should be thanking me if you're a man and I
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: say no to you and I curve the ship out
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: of you. You should be grateful that I've given you
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: the opportunity to treat me like a human beings. Is
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: actually very true. You're learning something. You're learning how to
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: hear no from a woman and handle it like an adults,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: you know, and not call you a bitch right after,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: not call me an ugly fat bit right after, because
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: now you're salty. Exactly, say no to man. It's good
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: for them. They don't hear it enough. They need to
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: hear it more. And it'll feel good when you say it.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: When you say no to a man, it feels fabulous.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: It's refreshing. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, I feel like that.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I've been practicing that so much as of lately, just
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: like really respecting my boundaries. Um, there was somebody that
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: was trying to give me a hug and I was
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: like nope. I literally had to put my hands up
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: and I was like, uh, you're no, okay, right, And
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: they were like a hug as a friend and I
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: was like no, h And for me, like that's a
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: really big deal because in the past I would just
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: be like okay, and I would just like kind of
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: just have my hands down really uncomfortable. Obviously, I do
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: not want to be hugged or touched by this person
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: or just letting it be. So I think just the
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: fact that I can be like, no, this is my
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: space and my body. And because it takes a while, right,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: because you're conditioned to always be complacent or say yes
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: or just go with it, go with it, and she'll
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: go with the flow. Absolutely, So I'm learning all of
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: it is. It takes some time, but it does feel
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: really good as to do it. Yeah, I felt great after.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, good for you, Like, I'm so proud
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: of you. Me to me right, go self, I'm proud
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: of you. Yeah yeah yeah, so so yeah, if you
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: all have I'm sure there are more tips and tricks
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: when it comes you know, two nudes, sharing nudes, sending them,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: receiving them, Um, you know, be ethical, the ethical, be kind,
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: be like, you know, a kind, healthy human being, and
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: treat others with respect. Because when someone sends you a nude,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that's that's trust in you. Yeah, really, that's a that's
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: vulnerability and it's really not cool to take advantage of
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: another person's vulnerability and trust. Don't post things on the
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: internet just just just like it like if you're not
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: the like if you don't own the photo exactly, or
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: just content in general information, do not post information, you know,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: like someone else's inforyone else's against their will, without their consent.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: It's all so much. It's just so it's just like
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: did in shame not accountability. Accountability is with one person,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: one on one, and then maybe like if it's a community,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: like it's if it's like rooted in like some type
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: of community, then maybe there's something you take it to
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: the next level, right, But I think it should always
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: start as like a one on one, not just like
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: this shameful call out post exactly exactly. So there's there's
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: so much, there's so much to talk about. I hope
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: this was helpful to people, because you know, everybody sends
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: nudes or they want to send nudes. They do, most people,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: a lot of people people. So it's something that if
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: we engage in it, we should talk about it and
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: be safe, you know, I agree, Yeah, I mean communication
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: talking about it key. You can, like you set the
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: rules for your relationship, right, like you should be able to,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: and it's it's hard to feel that way, but you
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: actually can. Yeah, Like you have rights. Yeah, you have autonomy,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: you have agency to do what you want, and if
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: it's not working for you, it's not working exactly exactly
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: like listen, people, dating is not compulsory, it's not mandatory,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: it's not forced, like it shouldn't be two people or
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: three people. However many we're talking about. People should date
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: because they want to. They date each other because they
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: want to, because it makes sense, because there's compatibility, not
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: because you feel coerced or forced or pressured guilted. Fuck
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: that ship of those those and it takes a I
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: want to figure out, like I actually don't have to
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: be here, No, you can, you can onto the next
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: actually be by yourself. You will be happier. This has
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: become like a whole new topic at this point. Why
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: don't even We're just like going on, we're a little
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: tired and we're a little bit exhausted. We had fun
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: last night, Yes, I had fun last night. I was
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: the designated driver last night. I went out to um
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: there's a South American party that happens in l A.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: So I went out with my family last night. But
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: that is a different topic, that is entirely different topics.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: We hope that you enjoyed. Um. I know I did
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: a fem defense. Don't link my nude, don't link my nude,
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: don't do it. Yeah, So stay safe out there. We'll
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: we'll be posting some stuff um to engage with y'all.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Engage with us. We love it, um. We love when
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: you tweet at us. We're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, local radio,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: We're on SoundCloud, on SoundCloud, we are working on getting
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: back on iTunes. We are new to technology. Have any
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: tips let us know, so we're figuring it out. Thank
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: you so much. Also, I wanted to say somebody commented
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: on our Instagram about like, where are we going? Because
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: there's rumors that SoundCloud it will be nonexistent. So someone
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: was like, where will we listen? I think that its
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: SoundCloud is okay? Yeah, chance the rappers saved, right. I
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: think it's okay. Um, But we're also trying to get
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: another platforms right now, so we will let you all know.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: We aren't going anywhere, thank god, because even the work
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: to try and figure all of that out exhausting. We're tired.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: We're gonna go down and take a nap. Thank you
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: so much for listening. We love you. Another installment of
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: brown girl Our We love you all. Thanks for listening
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: those