Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #100| How Do I Stop Listening to My Mean Inner Critic?

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#100| How Do I Stop Listening to My Mean Inner Critic? · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Hey friend, thanks for joining today.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: It's great to have you with me.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I'm wrapping up a whole bunch of work things so that I can spend some time with my family over the holidays and I'm totally looking forward to that.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I hope you're in the same boat.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Today I want to talk to you about an idea of our inner critic, the voice in your head that sometimes tells you that you're doing everything wrong, and the voice that can often keep us small and stuck.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I send out an email at the end of every month and I give a summary for the month of ideas that I really liked, and then things that I really liked, like a TV show or a book, or last month I was talking about some luggage that I really loved, that I took on a trip to Mexico, so it's just whatever strikes my fancy that month.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: If you're not on my email list, by the way, and you want to get on my email list, link is in the show notes and you can get this end of the month newsletter too.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: But my point in bringing this up is that one of my favorites from November was a book called Playing Big by Tara Moore, and I'll link that in the show notes as well.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: It's a really good book and it talks a lot about how women are essentially socialized to play small and stay stuck where we are, versus playing big and being our biggest, most essential selves.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: As you know, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, one of the things that we talk about a lot on here is the idea that the thoughts that pop into our head are out of our control.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: We can't really do much to control what comes into our head, but we do have a lot of power over if we choose to believe those thoughts, if we try to substitute those with other thoughts, which will then make us feel differently and make us get different results in our lives.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: The inner critic voice is because it's helpful to me to think about that inner critic voice as just a voice inside of me, it's not the voice that tells the truth or the voice that I always need to listen to, and being able to recognize that it's simply the inner critic can be really useful.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: So here's how you know when your inner critic is talking.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Let's say, for example, as you're thinking about 2025 and you're planning what you want to do for next year, maybe one of the things that you have a goal to do is start your own business or work part-time instead of working full-time, or something like that.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And, by the way, if you want to plan your 2025, don't forget to register for my class.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: It's $25 and it's on January 7th at noon.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: It's one hour.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Come and hang out with us.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: You will learn all about how to set goals and get the things you want in 2025.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: But I digress.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's say, one of your goals for 2025 is to start your own business or work part-time.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: This is exactly the perfect time for your inner critic to come in.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Our inner critic loves to show up when we're thinking about something new, and it's just a misguided attempt to keep us safe.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: So here's what it sounds like when the inner critic is talking.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: The inner critic is the voice of fear and self-doubt and perfectionism.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: It uses harsh and judgmental language.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: You have no idea what you're doing.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: The inner critic has very binary thinking, like you're going to fail at this, not like this could be hard to get started.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It's like you're going to fail.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And so what Taramore talks about in the book is not the idea that we need to shut out that inner critic, but that we just name it and you can even give your inner critic a name.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I often have my clients name that voice in their head and then it just separates it one step further from you.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Let's say you want to name your inner critic Miranda.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I picked that because she's the mean boss in the Devil Wears Prada.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: So you have this critical voice in your head named Miranda.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: So when I want to do something new, miranda likes to tell me that's a terrible idea, you're going to fail, and you have no idea what you're doing.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: So here's how to respond to your inner critic Miranda or whatever the name of yours is.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Your goal isn't to silence or eliminate it, but just recognize that it's part of your mind, but not the part of your mind that should dictate your actions.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: So in this example that I'm giving, let's say that I want to do a TED Talk in 2025.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And Miranda tells me that's a terrible idea.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: What would you even talk about?
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Nobody wants to hear what you're saying.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I can just be like oh, miranda, thanks for speaking up.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And I can respond from the place of my own inner wisdom.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And it's not that I know the answers, but where the critical voice is very black and white and you're going to fail at this, inner wisdom just has us answer back with questions.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So if you shift over to inner wisdom, you can say is it true that I don't have anything to talk about?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: What examples do I have of things that seemed really far-reaching, that did eventually end up coming true, et cetera, et cetera.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: So, in summary, we all have an inner critic.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I've never met someone who doesn't have one.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's impossible not to have one.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: The inner critic doesn't have to be our enemy.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Give the inner critic a name, hear what she has to say and then respond from the place of your own inner wisdom.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: If you can just talk with curiosity and ask questions back, then you can make it so this isn't a black and white situation, but one where you can have a conversation and really investigate your own ideas.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Hope this served as a helpful tip for you and I hope you have a fantastic holiday and happy new year.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I'm linking a bunch of stuff in the show notes.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I'll link the book.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I'll link how to get on my newsletter.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I'll put a link to the class.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So get in the show notes and sign up for any of those things that you're interested in and I will see you next week.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: That you're interested in and I will see you next week.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegothiercom.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: See you next week.