Latest / You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women / 89. Want to Leave Your Job… But Don’t Know How?

Transcript

89. Want to Leave Your Job… But Don’t Know How? · You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

• 0:08
  Hi, I'm Danny Tan and if you are here, you are in the right
• 0:11
  place. Welcome to the Pivot and
• 0:13
  Promotion podcast where we say forget the rules because they
• 0:16
  weren't written for us. I'm Danny Tan, I'm your host as
• 0:19
  well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for
• 0:21
  redefining what success and leadership looks like.
• 0:24
  And here's what I know. You can lead at any level, you
• 0:27
  can pivot at any age, and you can make moves that feel feel
• 0:30
  right for you, whether you're climbing the perfect ladder,
• 0:32
  starting something completely new, or just figuring out your
• 0:35
  next step. I've got you covered with
• 0:36
  strategies, stories and straight up inspiration.
• 0:39
  So let's make some moves. Hi, hello, how are you?
• 0:47
  So today we're talking about, Hey, you want to leave your job
• 0:51
  but don't know how. So if you've been sitting there
• 0:54
  wondering, pondering, thinking that you want to leave your job,
• 0:57
  but you're not sure how this we're going to talk about today
• 1:00
  for you. And so let's dive in.
• 1:03
  The first phase of this would be you've outgrown your role.
• 1:07
  So you're like, I know this isn't my role anymore, but
• 1:10
  you're feeling stuck on the exit plan.
• 1:12
  So like, what could the exit plan be for you?
• 1:15
  And so maybe these are the things that are coming up.
• 1:18
  It's like, you know, you've hit your ceiling, but you don't know
• 1:21
  what that next step or that next move should be.
• 1:23
  You keep telling yourself it's fine, everything's OK, even
• 1:26
  though you're completely checked out and like feeling kind of
• 1:29
  like not present and dissociated in some way.
• 1:32
  And then the biggest thing is like the longer that you stay,
• 1:35
  the harder that it really starts to become and to even imagine or
• 1:39
  realize anything different. You're like, well, I've just
• 1:42
  been here for so long. Like what else is even possible?
• 1:44
  What else is even out there? I've got it.
• 1:46
  OK. And so I think it's really
• 1:48
  interesting when you know, we've actually outgrown where we're
• 1:52
  where we're currently at. And it the part that's actually
• 1:55
  getting us stuck is like, how do I exit?
• 1:57
  Like how do I leave? But you know that you want to
• 2:00
  go, but you're just not sure how to make that that happen.
• 2:03
  And so I have one of my clients, Oh my gosh, the resume insane of
• 2:09
  all the amazing places she's worked when it comes from like
• 2:11
  Meta to TikTok, all the places you could put them on that list
• 2:15
  of like, wow, look at these like big tech giants.
• 2:18
  And the biggest thing that I remember she said was like, I
• 2:20
  just feel like I'm not living to my potential.
• 2:22
  When she came into coaching, she's like, I just feel like I'm
• 2:24
  not living up to my potential. I'm not sure, you know, I've
• 2:28
  been doing all of this. I've, I've stepped up in
• 2:30
  leadership, I've been able to speak, I've been able to
• 2:32
  present, but I just don't feel like I have a clear direction on
• 2:35
  what my next step is. I feel like I don't necessarily
• 2:38
  have a support system. I feel like I've been trying to
• 2:40
  figure it out on my own. And now I really want to have a
• 2:43
  vision for what my personal brand is, for who I am, to
• 2:46
  really be recognized as an expert, to really find like as
• 2:50
  she phrased it, her board of directors, her go to team.
• 2:53
  And so being able to figure that out because she was really
• 2:55
  starting to feel disconnected from her career, disconnected
• 3:00
  from herself and from her leadership.
• 3:02
  And she was really starting to doubt if she was taking
• 3:04
  intentional steps forward in her career that were truly aligned
• 3:07
  with her values and aligned with what her vision was going to be
• 3:10
  for herself. And so she just knew, hey, you
• 3:13
  know, I'm not living up to what I could be doing for myself, not
• 3:16
  living at my up to my potential, as she said.
• 3:19
  And So what could it look like to be together?
• 3:21
  And so I think the biggest thing was knowing that and sitting
• 3:24
  with her and reflecting of analyzing that she had
• 3:28
  essentially hit the ceiling within what her capacity was to
• 3:31
  identify how to be visible, how to be a leader in those spaces.
• 3:35
  And now that she wanted to step into more of creating this
• 3:38
  personal brand for herself, become this bigger, well known
• 3:41
  speaker, become this expert even more not just within these
• 3:45
  companies, but in the industry that she was like, what skill
• 3:48
  sets or what skill sets do I need in order to make this
• 3:51
  happen? What kind of job should I be
• 3:53
  looking for? What kind of role should I be
• 3:55
  looking forward to make this happen, This big step, this big
• 3:57
  shift into that from being someone who, you know, has
• 4:01
  always been doing it herself? She's like, I don't have family
• 4:04
  to fall back. I don't, I've never had a mentor
• 4:07
  this long in my career. I've always been the mentor to
• 4:09
  others. I've always built other teams.
• 4:11
  I've always support other people.
• 4:12
  So where do I start? And so working together, her
• 4:15
  goal and working with me and hiring me was, hey, I want to
• 4:18
  have somebody who's going to be here to mentor me, to support
• 4:21
  me, to coach me, to give me the strategies that I've been doing
• 4:24
  for everybody else. And I want to be able to
• 4:25
  prioritize what it is for myself.
• 4:27
  And so if you feel like these things hit home for you, that
• 4:31
  you've like started to hit a ceiling, but you're not sure
• 4:33
  what that next move is or you're starting to realize the longer
• 4:36
  that you're staying in your current role, you're like, I
• 4:38
  can't even imagine anything else.
• 4:41
  How can I even like know what step to take?
• 4:43
  Or you're telling yourself everything is like, everything's
• 4:46
  OK, everything's fine. No, like I'm, I'm grateful, it's
• 4:49
  fine. But you're realizing that you're
• 4:51
  starting to check out. It may be that you've started to
• 4:53
  outgrown your role and you're kind of just stuck on the exit
• 4:56
  plan piece. And so you're looking for a
• 4:58
  partner for that. So I would say to just sit and
• 5:01
  reflect because you know, working with this client, the
• 5:03
  biggest realization she had in the course of six weeks was once
• 5:06
  she had clarity on what she wanted her next step to be.
• 5:09
  Two, we were able to rework her entire LinkedIn and her resume,
• 5:12
  as well as create a portfolio for her so she can start to go
• 5:15
  out. And then she started getting
• 5:16
  referred for roles at companies within her network, which she
• 5:19
  didn't even realize or utilize until we started working
• 5:22
  together because we started to create a strategy.
• 5:24
  So she went from being disconnected to doubling down on
• 5:26
  being intentional about what is she want her next step to be.
• 5:29
  So I would ask you the question, where are you just staying
• 5:34
  somewhere because it's comfortable versus going after
• 5:37
  what it is that you really want? Where are you just staying where
• 5:40
  you know the ceiling has kind of kept you there or you're just
• 5:44
  staying there because you can't visualize anything else And
• 5:47
  where is that itch to do something next and maybe you're
• 5:49
  just stuck and not having an exit plan so and figuring out
• 5:52
  what that next step. So just kind of sit with that
• 5:55
  and see what comes up. OK, All right, so now let's talk
• 6:01
  about what's really getting you stuck.
• 6:02
  So it's not that you're lazy, you're not lazy.
• 6:07
  It's really because I think some people think, oh, I'm just too
• 6:11
  busy or I'm too, you know, lazy or I'm unsure.
• 6:16
  It's really not those things. What's really keeping you stuck
• 6:19
  is the fear. It's fear of choosing what the
• 6:23
  wrong step is. Like you don't want to make the
• 6:25
  the next step and make it incorrect.
• 6:26
  It's like we're in this like holding pattern of not making a
• 6:31
  decision, of not taking a step because we want it to be the
• 6:33
  right answer. We don't want it to be the wrong
• 6:35
  answer. We don't want to make sure we're
• 6:37
  not losing time. We don't make sure we're wasting
• 6:39
  time. And so that's the thing that
• 6:41
  will come up. And The thing is, is that you
• 6:43
  have to realize is that you're going to feel like you have to
• 6:46
  have the right or perfect answer in order to take that next step.
• 6:50
  But the reality is you, you, you don't, you have to just start to
• 6:54
  take action forward because if you feel like you need the
• 6:57
  perfect answer before you act, you'll be sitting there forever
• 7:01
  because it will just hold you, you know, kind of captive when
• 7:06
  in reality, what you need to do is start to figure out how to
• 7:08
  start to take steps forward in order for you to leave your job.
• 7:11
  And you're like, well, I don't know how we'll talk about that
• 7:14
  for sure. And again, it's like the clarity
• 7:16
  will come from taking action. And so I just wanted to talk
• 7:18
  about a client who she was in a role that no longer fit her.
• 7:23
  She was like, I want to change into a new career.
• 7:25
  I'm not sure I have an idea of what that new career is, but I'm
• 7:28
  kind of scared. I don't know if it's the wrong
• 7:30
  step. What if I throw away my entire
• 7:31
  career right now that I'm doing and just to pivot into
• 7:35
  marketing? And so the fact of her lacking
• 7:39
  confidence was due to her just feeling that she wasn't
• 7:42
  experienced enough. And so the biggest thing was,
• 7:45
  can I make this thing happen? Is it going to be the wrong step
• 7:49
  for me to break into marketing if I have all these years of
• 7:52
  experience in another industry, you know?
• 7:55
  And so she had been in a holding pattern for years, years.
• 7:58
  She's like, I've taken every single assessment of the son,
• 8:01
  I've taken every single survey, I've taken every single
• 8:02
  questionnaire to try to figure out what my path to pivot is.
• 8:06
  And I just can't do it. And the biggest thing that came
• 8:09
  up for us was I said to her, you can take all the exams, you can
• 8:13
  take all the surveys, you can take all the personality tests.
• 8:15
  But at the end of the day, what's going to actually teach
• 8:17
  you what that next step is and to get you unstuck is to
• 8:21
  actually take action towards it. And so for the two of us, within
• 8:25
  the first like 4 to 5 weeks of working together, the biggest
• 8:28
  thing was creating an action plan of what was going to be her
• 8:32
  first step forward to doing the research of what that she wanted
• 8:35
  to do. So we started with understanding
• 8:37
  what was important to her, to the next role that she had,
• 8:39
  regardless of the industry, regardless of the role, what was
• 8:42
  going to be important for her of how she want to position herself
• 8:45
  as someone who's pivoting. So how would she position her
• 8:47
  skills in her resume, her LinkedIn for her personal brand,
• 8:51
  for her pitching statement of herself, of translating those
• 8:55
  skills to her new role, and then being able to also look at how
• 8:58
  she's going to apply and land roles and interviews for this
• 9:02
  new transition as well. And so that was a big thing too,
• 9:05
  was being able to help her build the belief, build the confidence
• 9:08
  and the evidence that she's able to do it and that she's not just
• 9:12
  held to what her old role was. And so that's the big thing is
• 9:15
  that it's not that you're lazy or that you know, you can't
• 9:18
  figure it out. It's that you're just trying to
• 9:19
  make sure you're nervous and you're scared.
• 9:21
  And this fear is coming up of how you're going to be able to
• 9:24
  get clarity and to jump to the next thing.
• 9:25
  And that comes from taking action and taking a step.
• 9:28
  And that is the biggest thing. So the question that I would ask
• 9:31
  you would be, what are you afraid will happen if you start
• 9:34
  making a move? What are you afraid?
• 9:37
  What is the fear that's coming up for you about taking this one
• 9:40
  step forward or making this big change?
• 9:42
  So you're sitting with this idea of what it is that you want, but
• 9:45
  you're scared. And what is that fear saying for
• 9:48
  you? I'm super curious because that
• 9:50
  fear is usually telling us a lot.
• 9:52
  It's trying to keep us safe. It's trying to keep us familiar.
• 9:54
  It's trying to keep us comfortable.
• 9:56
  But if you listen to that fear, it will also tell you what
• 9:59
  support you may need and what kind of plan you may need in
• 10:02
  order to move forward. So you know, for her, for
• 10:04
  example, the fear was, I don't have enough experience.
• 10:07
  I don't know where to start. I don't know how to translate
• 10:10
  these things. And so that is our action plan.
• 10:12
  That's our plan of attacking coaching, is being able to
• 10:15
  identify what those fears are and then find things to support
• 10:17
  them to help her move forward, which is exactly what she's
• 10:19
  doing now. Now she feels more secure, even
• 10:21
  though she's stepping out in big ways.
• 10:23
  She feels safer knowing that the fears that she has or had are
• 10:27
  being supported in ways that make sense for her to take these
• 10:29
  steps forward. And I think that's super, super,
• 10:32
  super critical when it comes to coaching and how we support
• 10:34
  where it's not just like naming the feeling, but it's also
• 10:37
  creating a plan and action and support for the feeling as well.
• 10:41
  So the next thing is if you don't take the leap, it's like
• 10:46
  you have to take the leap and you need some kind of planning,
• 10:48
  some kind of strategy. So leaving a job, like being
• 10:52
  able to quit, so wanting to leave your job but not knowing
• 10:54
  how the biggest thing that will come up is you don't have to
• 10:58
  leave it all behind. It doesn't have to be all or
• 11:00
  nothing. You don't have to burn
• 11:01
  everything down. I think that's a very big, like
• 11:03
  dramatic thing that comes up as like, I want to start a business
• 11:06
  and I'm going to quit my current job and go all into it and burn
• 11:09
  it all down. Or I want to change careers and
• 11:11
  now I have to like leave everything behind.
• 11:13
  No, no, no, no, no, no, we don't have to like leave everything
• 11:16
  behind. Everything that you've lived and
• 11:18
  experienced and are doing are layers upon layers that are
• 11:21
  setting you up for your next step, for your next, for your
• 11:24
  next move, whether that's to build a business, whether that
• 11:26
  is to be able to get promoted, whether it is to change careers,
• 11:30
  Those are all layers that are adding up to the experience
• 11:33
  that's going to happen next. You do not have to like burn it
• 11:35
  all down. You do not have to give it up.
• 11:38
  And I think that's, and that's really important.
• 11:39
  And that making decisions from a place of clarity and not panic,
• 11:44
  right? So not just going, making from
• 11:46
  one decision and sprinting to another, but being able to sit
• 11:49
  with it objectively is super important.
• 11:52
  So one of the clients that I work with, one of the first
• 11:54
  exercises that I have them do is something that gives them like a
• 11:58
  foundational base of what it is that they want.
• 12:00
  I always say I have them do this earlier on in coaching because I
• 12:04
  want them to come from a place of neutrality.
• 12:07
  Our energy changes as we start to get a little bit nervous or
• 12:12
  other emotions starts to pop up when we are in the middle of
• 12:17
  trying to achieve our goals. So it's like the messy middle,
• 12:19
  we call it. And so when we're in the middle,
• 12:22
  all the different emotions start to come up, but we're not
• 12:24
  necessarily using the most rational, calm version of our
• 12:26
  brain. We're kind of in more panicky
• 12:28
  mode. So I'd like us to do an exercise
• 12:29
  at the beginning that's like, what is it that you truly
• 12:31
  foundationally want? So we make sure that we always
• 12:33
  stay grounded in that, which is super important too.
• 12:36
  And so making sure you have like a real exit plan.
• 12:39
  So that way it feels like it's a smooth transition that's
• 12:42
  achievable. I think a lot of us have like
• 12:44
  heard these stories and there's nothing knocking that of like so
• 12:47
  and so quit their job and tripled their income in six
• 12:50
  months. So and so left their job and,
• 12:53
  you know, built a business and now as a millionaire, like those
• 12:56
  are amazing stories. And we're not knocking it.
• 12:58
  But I do also think that there is a way to transition and to
• 13:03
  create safety within your exit plan when it comes to going into
• 13:06
  your business full time or jumping to a new career.
• 13:09
  And I think we kind of that to the wayside.
• 13:11
  And so that is something that I've been definitely working on
• 13:13
  with my clients too. Because I think also especially
• 13:15
  if you're a woman, if you're a woman of color, if you come from
• 13:17
  a home that was financially in stable, if you relax financial
• 13:23
  stability. And so you want to create that
• 13:26
  safety for yourself when it comes to making these big moves,
• 13:28
  especially from a financial perspective or from a health
• 13:31
  benefits perspective, right? You have to have an Exoplan that
• 13:35
  makes sense. And so one of my clients, she
• 13:37
  actually has a full time corporate job.
• 13:40
  I mean, I have a couple of clients that honestly who have
• 13:42
  corporate jobs and have their side businesses, but I have one
• 13:44
  specifically that I have in mind who's going full time in her
• 13:48
  business and is getting ready to leave corporate.
• 13:51
  And for her, the biggest thing has been how do I feel safe
• 13:54
  knowing that I'm going to leave my corporate salary to go into
• 13:58
  my business full time and to have that instability of, you
• 14:03
  know, income that goes up and down month over month or, you
• 14:05
  know, health benefits and what does that look like?
• 14:07
  And so I think the big thing for us is being able to identify
• 14:11
  what does safety feel like within your business?
• 14:13
  What does safety feel like within yourself?
• 14:15
  And maybe that is going to be whether it's income goals,
• 14:17
  whether it's different targets for partnerships, whether it's
• 14:20
  different number of clients to have, whether it's offering and
• 14:23
  your pricing of your services. And so being able to clarify,
• 14:26
  narrow that down. So going from saying you want to
• 14:29
  do something for us to actually strategically break it down and
• 14:33
  OK, who is your customer? What is your marketing?
• 14:36
  You know, what are your services?
• 14:37
  What are you offering foundationally?
• 14:39
  What have you done before and where are we in creating a plan
• 14:41
  to build That is something that's super important.
• 14:44
  So I'm so curious for you, what could change in your life?
• 14:49
  Like how could your life change in reality if you had a true
• 14:52
  plan and strategy to make it happen?
• 14:55
  Now they're not just ideas that have been sitting on your your
• 14:58
  wish list in your mind, but it's like this is a goal that you've
• 15:01
  been wanting to achieve. And now you're sitting and
• 15:03
  working with somebody and they actually are giving you an
• 15:05
  actual plan to make it go forward to make it happen.
• 15:07
  Because that's crazy to think that, you know, some of these
• 15:10
  women that I worked with were working in corporate to having
• 15:13
  their businesses and going full time, right?
• 15:16
  Or working for one company being completely underpaid with a
• 15:19
  micromanager boss to going and doubling their income or getting
• 15:23
  3050K increases to become leaders at other companies or
• 15:26
  managers that actually acknowledge and value.
• 15:29
  And I'm super excited about them.
• 15:31
  And that's such a big shift that could happen in your life.
• 15:33
  So I'm so curious for you like what is something that has just
• 15:36
  been sitting in your head that you've been wanting to do and
• 15:38
  you're like, wait, if I had an actual plan, a strategy and
• 15:40
  accountability partner to help me make this happen, Like how
• 15:44
  would that change your life? And I think that's when that's
• 15:46
  super, super amazing. Somebody asked me like, what do
• 15:49
  I love about coaching? And that's the part that I love
• 15:50
  about coaching. That's why I do coaching.
• 15:52
  So I love to be able to see the change that will happen within
• 15:56
  people who are ready for that change.
• 15:58
  They take the plan, they run with it, they execute, they go
• 16:00
  to the ups and downs, they sit and they process it.
• 16:02
  And I think that is so freaking beautiful.
• 16:04
  So again, you know, if you're someone who's like, I want to
• 16:08
  leave my job, but I don't know how, and you're realizing maybe
• 16:11
  you've outgrown your role, but you're kind of stuck on an Exim
• 16:13
  plan and you're trying to identify like, what's really
• 16:16
  keeping you stuck, right? Know that what it really comes
• 16:19
  down to is just being able to have that plan for yourself,
• 16:23
  have that strategy, take that next step and what does that
• 16:26
  look like for you and identifying what that looks
• 16:29
  like. So again, just sit and kind of
• 16:30
  reflect on, you know, what are you staying in just because it's
• 16:33
  comfortable? What are you even kind of
• 16:35
  ruminating on that you want to make a move?
• 16:37
  Where are those fears coming up? What are the fears saying that
• 16:40
  are not allowing you to make this change happen for yourself?
• 16:43
  And then if you had a plan, you know, a real plan, a real
• 16:46
  strategy that would help this dream or this goal come true,
• 16:49
  how could your life potentially change?
• 16:51
  And I think that is the part that's insane.
• 16:53
  Our lives can change so quickly in the course of three, 612
• 16:57
  months. And it's like, do you want to
• 16:59
  keep delaying that for yourself or do you want to make it
• 17:01
  happen? Which I think is is pretty key
• 17:05
  and pivotal and a big deciding factor of the women that I work
• 17:08
  with in general, my clients, they are tired of waiting.
• 17:11
  That's the biggest thing. They're tired.
• 17:12
  They're tired of waiting. They're tired of giving
• 17:14
  everything to everybody else and they're ready to pick
• 17:16
  themselves. And I love it.
• 17:18
  I love it. I love it.
• 17:18
  So again, like I've been saying, if you want to leave but you
• 17:22
  don't know how and let's go ahead and build your exit
• 17:25
  strategy together. There is no pressure, there's no
• 17:28
  stress, there's no panic. It's truly taking steps toward
• 17:31
  that career, that life, that business that it is that you
• 17:33
  want. And so I completely invite you
• 17:35
  to book a call to meet me. And you could do that for group
• 17:38
  coaching or private coaching. Go to my website, dannytan.com,
• 17:41
  that's DANITA n.com. Book a call and then we can talk
• 17:44
  about what it's like to work together.
• 17:46
  But you can hear more about it coming up and I will see you
• 17:49
  again next week.