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When Planning Gets Personal: Planning Meets Real Life · The Tyler Show

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Tyler Show.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Tyler Nahan, and we have in studio again the vice president of marketing for Salmons Institutional Group, Molly Wendell.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for coming back and talking with us today.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for asking me back, Tyler.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: And this is part of an overall theme that we're doing here at the Tyler Show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's called When Planning Gets Personal.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: And we've been talking about a lot of different stories around the planning aspects of caregiving, leading all the way up to end of life, and a lot of really impactful stories.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: And yours is really kind of what the genesis of all of this.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so uh we just kind of wanted to bring you back in here and uh just dig a little bit deeper into your story and your experiences because it can be very helpful for a lot of people that might be going through the same thing right now.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it, and I'm happy to share.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: So one of the things that we talked about uh when we were when we were planning for this meeting is you had mentioned uh most of the audience has listened to your story, kind of knows the background of your story.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: And if you haven't, it's it's available on on our podcasts.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: But you'd mentioned there was a moment where your your mom had just been diagnosed and you were walking with your dad back to the garage, and you said, Hey dad, what happens if something happens to you?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: And that was kind of a moment that some of the some of these things started moving.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: And so kind of walk us through that a little bit.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So for the one or two of you that might not know my story, uh, my mom was uh diagnosed with advanced dolls typers in 2017.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So we moved them from their home in um central Iowa down to near us.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we have I have three siblings that live here in the metro.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we thought that would be a good thing for them to be close.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: We could help my dad, who was her primary caregiver.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we were feeling real good about that move.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was shortly after that that I remember this conversation very vividly.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my dad and I were talking about some, I was asking about financial things.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't really want to talk about it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he left, you know, kind of walked out and was heading to the garage, and I followed him and was just, you know, trailing behind him, kind of peppering him with questions that he didn't want to answer.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we had just got into his car.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: He opened up the car door and I said, Dad, I need to know this in case something happens to you.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because what do I do with mom?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll never forget he put down whatever he was grabbing out of the car and just turned and looked at me.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it hit him.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, our focus had been on getting her in a safe environment, getting their situation set up where he was the caregiver, you know.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and he's always been there.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: He's always been fine, you know, he's always been the guy.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I said, I can't take her home and put her in my basement.
• 3:34
  unknown: Yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she was far enough along that she needed someone to be with her all of the time.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I and so the, you know, the the conversation just kind of evolved from there where he would say, Well, we she would go into a facility.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I understand that, but what about in the short term?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because you can't just you can't just walk up to memory care facilities.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: They can't knock on the door.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: No, and and and say, you know, here you go.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: We we hadn't talked about that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's that's kind of where things um really got serious in for us.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: And so you'd mentioned too that, you know, as that kind of progressed, you found yourself in an attorney's office shortly after with your with your father.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: So uh talk to us a little bit about that.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That was really the first time I got any insight into my uh what I call my dad's world, you know, it not really even finances, you know.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: He just really wasn't willing to share that with us.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I did get a call probably three or four weeks later and asked me if I would meet him at an attorney's office.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, he had been talking to somebody to set something up for mom.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so shortly after that, um, I found myself sitting in an attorney's office and we were setting up, I was signing basically um to be um the trustee on an irrevocable trust for our family.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or for my parents, yeah.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now you'd mentioned too that so you you were the trustee on an irrevocable trust, and then you come to find out that you're the power of attorney and you're also the executor of the estate.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: So um, all of these legal aspects uh talk to because you have you kind of have interest stories.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: So, how did you find out that you were going to be that person?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I actually knew I was the power of attorney prior, prior to that conversation that we just talked about.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I found that out when my dad was just down visiting one day and handed me a manila envelope and said, Hey, you're gonna want to file this away.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's the power of attorney papers and our will.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I did.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just filed it away.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I didn't look at it, I didn't ask any questions.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it was because like he said the will was in there.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel like I could look at it or read it or should because both my parents were alive.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like an invasion of privacy to me.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I I just filed it.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I looking back, I thought we'd circle back to it at some point.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure that's what my dad thought as well, you know, um, that at some point we'd sit down and we'd talk about it.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But that time just it it never happened.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: I I I will, you know, I think how many people out there that have a very similar story where they've been given this information and it it feels like an invasion of privacy.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: And then the events happen and you open it up and you start looking at it, and there's a lot of uh assumptions that people have, and then you are like, oh, oh, wait a second here, these assumptions are wrong.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: And that can create uh you know, anxiety and stress and and interesting family dynamics and all of that.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: And so I do want to ask you this question is as all of this is going on, um, how did that impact the family family family dynamics?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: You're you're one of five children, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: So how did that impact the the family dynamics?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm the middle of five five kids.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And as I said, um I put that paperwork away.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: So my mom ended up um passing away from Alzheimer's.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then six weeks later, my dad had the first of many major strokes.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I in that time never, you know, I got the call, went right to the hospital, found myself in the hallway um at the hospital being asked about um, does he have a living will?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: What about a DNR?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, who's the POA?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I was the POA at that point.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I knew he had a living will.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know there was a difference between a living will and a DNR.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when they asked, I said, yes, I mean, he has a DNR, he has a living will.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm the power of attorney.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, come to find out, he didn't have a DNR.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, talking to him once uh he started to recover from his stroke, it's like, oh, I missed that one.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't understand.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't ask the questions.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then back to your question, how did that um affect family dynamics?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was a few um weeks later when my dad was still critical.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh four of my siblings and I were having a fierce conversation about um what to do, um, what was going on.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And first of all, they didn't understand what an irrevocable trust was and how that differed from, I guess, a revocable trust.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I was trying to explain it to them, um, you know, that that we couldn't just dissolve the trust and and dad get all the assets.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't gonna work.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And somewhere during that conversation, one of my brothers said, and by the way, I thought I was the power of attorney.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so then that was just like that moment where it was like, oh okay.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um so we had to walk that back a little bit.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, at the end, he, you know, he was very gracious and said, I'm glad that you are, and you know, you're doing all that you're doing.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, that was a conversation we probably should have had as a family.
• 9:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: You mentioned something that I kind of had a flashback.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: So with the DNR, I remember my grandmother, uh, this would have been gosh, 15, 16 years ago, and I was still relatively uh young.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I was I was new in the new in my career, but so I didn't I didn't get all the details.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: But I do remember my grandmother had an episode at the hospital and the question came up on whether or not uh they were gonna resuscitate her or not.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I I I think I remember the situation where she did have a DNR, but nobody knew where it was at or it it wasn't, it wasn't available.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: And and she had basically said, do not resuscitate, but the hospital did.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: And come to find out, you know, I I remember my aunt saying this because she had worked in hospitals.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, the job once somebody gets in the hospital, the job of the of the of the doctors and the nurses is to make sure that person lives.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: So unless they have that legal document or understand what's going on, then then you know they're gonna they're gonna follow, you know, do not do no harm and try to you know make sure that person lives.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I think that you you mentioned that I remember that uh you know happening in my family too, where the you know there was one, but we just didn't know where it was at.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: So uh the other thing too you had mentioned that I that I think would be really helpful for our listeners and our viewers is you had mentioned that your father was a veteran.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: And how did that play a part, especially with looking for long-term care facilities and all that?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: Because there was there was some different dynamics that came into play there that I think are really interesting.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe, maybe our audience is is unaware of maybe some of these things that are available for for veterans when it comes to that.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so because of the timing of everything that happened with with my parents, um, you know, much of their assets um was taken, was spent on my mom's uh memory care.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: She spent almost two years in in memory care.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then when it came, you know, six as we mentioned six weeks later, my dad had this stroke.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it became evident very clear that, or very soon, that he wasn't gonna go home.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, his new normal was changing.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: He was gonna have to go into long-term care.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: So this is um 2022.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, COVID's over, these facilities are opening up.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of people that are trying to get into facilities that they just weren't able to get in during COVID.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So as we started to look for long-term care facilities, they wanted um us to be able to prove that he could pay for two years of private pay.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, um, you know, he didn't really have time to optimize his portfolio between uh my mom and in his event.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, we were not coming up with those numbers as a family and pretty distraught over it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And just by happen happenstance, somebody mentioned to me, have you ever heard of aid in attendance?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I see that your dad's a veteran.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I had no idea what that was.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like aid in attendance.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Aid in attendance.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a type of um pension that you can get from the government if if you've served and you're a veteran, um, and you're gonna go into long-term care.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so they kind of stepped me through the process and they said it could take up to a year for them, for the government to go through everything.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: But there's this company called Patriot Angels where you can hire them.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was a couple thousand dollars, and they know what to do.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like they can fast track, they know where to go because some of the records are in the archives.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: That the only way to go and approve them is to physically go to the archives in Washington, DC and look these records up.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Crazy, right?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: Not everybody's gonna be able to do that, right?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we did it.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we hired the Patriot Angels, and I think it took three months for us to get um approved.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And once we uh talked through this process with the long-term care facility that we were gonna do this, they were familiar with it and knew that it would be retroactive.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that helped us with that, what we projected he would get each month from the aid in attendance.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we were able to prove that he would be able to, you know, do the two years of of private pay.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But without that conversation, I don't know what we would have done.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And and I just think about that when you when you mentioned that, I was thinking, how many people are unaware of this?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Uh aid in attendance, patriot angels, uh, that you know, this can really be a game changer for some people.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so uh it was game changer for you.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: Life changer.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, game changer for you guys.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: So I I just I did when you mentioned that, I just thought, wow, that's that's really impactful.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Something that I think a lot of people maybe um aren't aware of.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um and there, and there's a lot of programs out there that people aren't aware of.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of programs out there, especially if you're a veteran.
• 15:18
  unknown: Yeah.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um so they, you know, the veterans they deserve to be taken care of.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's nice um that there are these programs out there.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I just wish that they were a little bit more uh public and people knew about them a little bit more.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I want to change gears a little bit here.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I want to talk a little you you you talked about Brock, and Brock is the the hero of this story.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: The one thing that I talking with you about, it sounds like your father was talking a little bit about the legal aspects.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: But when it came in, you'd mentioned that when you were walking to the garage and you were asking your dad these financial questions, and he just was like, No, uh, you know, didn't want to say it.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: There seemed to be a little bit of a disconnect there.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: So if the the question I have is that talk to us a little bit about what your thoughts were.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: Uh if you could go, if you could, if you could rewind and go back, there was that disconnect.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: How would you, how would you have bridged that?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely, you know, would have asked more questions of my dad, maybe in a different way, you know, so he didn't he didn't feel maybe so put on the spot, attacked, you know.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully he would have opened up to us a little bit more.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you mentioned Brock, and Brock ended up being my dad's um financial professional that that we found because he had sent a card to my dad um when my mom passed away.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's how we found him because my my dad, when we needed him, my dad was unable to speak and tell us, you know, where to go.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Once once we found Brock, sat down with Brock, um, you know, he was that resource that we needed because he's the guy that my dad did tell everyone to.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And come to find out, Brock, my dad's financial professional, was the one who referred him to the estate attorney.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, so there was the connection.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: So there was the connection.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And not only the estate attorney, but my dad's accountant and other people that we needed had all been referrals from Brock.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: And and and and I think that's the one thing where financial advisors can play.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: They're they're the quarterback of the team, right?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: They they they kind of know where everything's at, and they can they can they can kind of uh project out and say, hey, here's where here's the the attorney, here's the accountant, here's the insurance person.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you have all of these people together and and you have that central location.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_03: One thing I want to ask you though is that you travel, you like to travel a lot.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: So let's say you're sitting on a plane and you're you strike up a conversation with somebody and and they don't have a Brock.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: What do you say to them?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I would immediately reach in my backpack, which would be in the front seat ahead of me, and I would pull out an icebook and a booklet and I would give it to them.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I never leave home with less than three ice booklets, and I rarely return home with ice booklets because I I think everyone should have one.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or something like it.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be our ice booklet, something like it.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, in my situation, when we were going through the situation, Brock was our ice booklet.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he was the central hub for our family.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I would want, I would talk to that person about just how important it is to fill that out.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: As much or as little as you want, but give your loved ones some sort of roadmap to your final wishes.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Ideally, you would have sat down with them, right?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And had a conversation.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And not only would you have verbalized what you want as your final wishes and and given them some highlights, you would tell them where you're storing your ice booklet.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you're doing it if you have multiple children um and a spouse, you're doing it with all of them.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: So everyone's on the same page.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and then and for those of you who may not be familiar with the ice booklets or seen an ice booklet, we have one here in studio.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's right here.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, and it's, you know, it's not, it's not real big.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's nice and it's got nice uh uh what would you call?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: What what do you call that in marketing terms?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Matted?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: Or what what what is uh what is binding?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, yep.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right, yep.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I'm not marketing.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yep.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: We went with uh spiral bound, so it's easy to write in.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Very nice.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's it's the outside is actually modeled after the salmon's constitution.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you remember that, it looks uh the one at my desk.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yep.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was uh a very nice looking document um when we received our salmon's um constitution.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I that was kind of my inspiration for the design, uh, for the design there of the ice booklet.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, it's it's really nice.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I and I can tell you one thing, uh, we were talking about this before.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: So we've been having a lot of people come in studio with this theme of when planning gets personal.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I've been, you know, talking with my wife about this.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so the other night we sat down and we were kind of going through it again because I'd mentioned last year I'd gone on a mission trip to Kenya and we I'd filled this out, and I said, you know, most likely nothing's gonna happen, but if it does, here's all the information you need to know.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: Because I do all the finances in in our household because you know, I that's the industry that I'm in.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: But the one thing that my wife was talking about, we were we were going through this the other night.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, the things that are important you don't think about that we were talking about the safety deposit box.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: So I have a safety deposit box, and it says in the ice booklet, well, where are the keys?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: Because it doesn't do you any good if you know that somebody has a safety deposit box.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: So I was talking to my wife and I said, Well, the keys are, you know, keys are here in case something happens.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: And then she said, Well, if we're going on vacation, uh, what what's gonna happen?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so my brother is is the one who would would take care of of of our kids and the estate if something were to happen to my wife and I.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, Does does Jeff know where all this is at?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Yes, we've we've had that conversation.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I think the one thing That this this ice booklet does a really good job of is that it does periodically allow for you to have those conversations and to have that communication with your spouse and your loved ones about where some of those things are.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that was the one thing that I that I thought was was really looking through it.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, Yeah, I remember that I wrote that down, but those are some of the things that sometimes you just don't think about.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: And that are important.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, where are the keys?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: Where are the passwords?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Where are the passwords?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where are the keys?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: Those are the things that sometimes I think people they like, oh well, my password's on my phone.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: To your point, if you don't have the the password to the phone and it dies, can't use facial recognition or anything like that.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: We have to have the password.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: So if somebody's listening to this and they're looking, they're thinking, you know what, we need we need a nice booklet, Molly, what would you tell them besides besides grabbing it from your backpack on a waiting, waiting to sit by me on a plane?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: So if they are a financial professional that is has a selling agreement with Salmon's Retirement Solutions or Midland Retirement Distributors, um, they can get one from their regional vice president.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: They can call the office, we'll send, we'll send them one.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they can call their internal wholesaler, um, we'll send them one for themselves, and we'll probably send them five to ten because we want um them to be able to hand them out to their clients.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: So one question I would I and we kind of talked a little bit about this, but I'm kind of curious to see what you think.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: So if you were to highlight something, we talked about the passwords, we talked about where the keys are.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: Those are obviously important things that sometimes people miss.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_03: Is there any other documents that you would highlight that you would talk about that's that's in the icebook, like wills, powers, attorneys, anything along those lines that you think sometimes are missed?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly think they're I mean, they're all extremely important.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess my answer to that is they're all so important and serve their purpose.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is so I don't have one specifically, but what I do have is the advice I do have is the communication part of it.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if it's the P, if it's the power of attorney, if it's the will.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever you're putting in charge of that, have that conversation.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just hand them an envelope.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Explain, explain what your wishes are.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Take that 10 minutes to sit down and just, you know, here are these papers, or you are gonna be my power of attorney.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what it means.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Give that person a moment to take that in and ask some questions, you know.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do the siblings know?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Should we tell them, you know?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I personally I think that the more that the family knows and hears from, you know, from your mom or dad or whoever's, you know, doing it, that they hear exact, you know, directly from them.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, the easier it is going to be for your loved ones to execute on your final wishes when that time comes.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: And work together.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: So any other any other thoughts?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: Any other things that you'd like to share with the audience?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: Lat this last question, anything else that we missed that you'd like to maybe share with with our audience here today?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't think you can talk enough.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: Talking.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Talking, communicating.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's to me, that's the key.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's where it all starts.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: And keep talking because things change.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, right?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: You went back through the ice booklet, and I think we were talking, you made a couple of updates, you know.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Look at it periodically because things, things change.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: You add a bank account, you you know, get rid of a bank account, just make those updates.
• 26:06
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: Passwords change.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Passwords change.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 26:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think everybody realizes that passwords always change.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: So that's communication, communication, communication.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Communication, communication, communication, and just do something.
• 26:21
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:22
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Molly, it's always a pleasure to have you in the studio and and thank you for sharing your experiences with us here today.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: They're very, very impactful.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I would like to say thank you for all of your support for the Salmons Institutional Group for the Tyler Show.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Tyler Dehan.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: Until next time.