Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 14: insecure creatives, gather! Part 2

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14: insecure creatives, gather! Part 2 · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  Hello darlings welcome back to paradigm shift with i understood i've missed you how are you i'm sending you all the love the light the joy the pleasure the ease the compassion the self compassion be gentle on yourself you're doing just fine you're not behind you're natural like you on nature ok
• 0:22
  so everything in nature has its own cycle you know and its own harvest and its own way of being and its own way of existing in the world
• 0:31
  and i think part of our purpose is to find out is however we're obviously living in very unnatural conditions that then affect our ability to be in our fullest most natural state
• 0:43
  today i want to do part two of insecure creatives gather one thing i want to say just to zoom out and ask why am i doing this why this topic you know what i mean because i can talk about anything
• 0:56
  i believe in taking the experiences that i see myself having and i see other people in my life having and really sitting with those journaling about them literally staring at a tree and breathing
• 1:10
  being conscious of what i'm moving through and the words that i need to hear in response to that and also i love learning about creativity especially from a spiritual conscious lens
• 1:22
  and so i really want to share that information with you because i really believe that you change the world by changing consciousness
• 1:30
  and you change consciousness through people sharing theirs and sharing their art and sharing their perspective whether that be poetry, writing, spoken word, photography, paintings, a video like whatever that may be
• 1:48
  and i believe that a lot of change happens in many different ways and one of the ways is through consciousness shifts and i love the idea of us really living our lives in attunement with our creativity
• 2:03
  and so i'm not encouraging anyone to do anything that they don't already want to do as i said but i know so many people who follow me for example they want to share their creative work or they want to start a creative project but they're terrified
• 2:16
  and i go through this literally every single day so i wanted to take my experience of creative fear and make it something that could be meaningful or useful to you
• 2:27
  what are the mindsets that i use to just kind of keep going because everything i post i'm in some way afraid of
• 2:35
  like i feel so much shame and embarrassment to be doing what i'm doing in such a public way because that's what you're taught
• 2:44
  you're taught that to be quiet you know what i mean you're taught to silence your voice and to not take risks and i think especially as a black woman with opinions on the internet
• 2:57
  it's a very precarious thing to be doing there are risks involved that i think about but it always seems worth it to me to say what i need to say
• 3:05
  and that's why i love that Audrey Lorde say that i always talk about that you know by now which is the transformation of silence into language and action
• 3:16
  so let's jump back into advice for insecure creatives or let me not call it advice let me rather say words of wisdom for insecure creatives
• 3:28
  so the next one and this really really helps me so i hope it helps you is focus on reaching just one person
• 3:37
  this is a really important paradigm shift because we are taught to focus on the scale how viral could this go how many people will read this book or how many people could be moved by this blog post
• 3:49
  because of capitalism and white supremacy this idea that more is better is very ingrained in our psyche even as creatives even as people who may be trying to create in ways that are anti capitalist however we may try to do that of course we're still existing in that system it's unavoidable
• 4:08
  so i think sometimes we get really into how big could this be and what i think we need to instead be in touch with is what single person could this touch and if you believe that this work could help one person
• 4:25
  it's end that is being in service to others is saying if this could help one person in a world where so many people need help who am i to keep this to myself
• 4:40
  you know let's say you have a day and you realize something and you're like wow that was such a powerful epiphany such a powerful realization this is a shift in my consciousness in my being in my spirit
• 4:57
  and then you say oh but no one will care you know like someone already probably knows this but aren't you someone and you didn't know it or you needed to know it in a different way than you did previously because i think knowing is much more dynamic is not binary
• 5:12
  so there's a knowing you've unlocked that someone else is seeking they may not even know they're seeking it so when you focus on okay could i imagine one person who would benefit from this or who would laugh
• 5:26
  who would delight who would cry who would grieve who would feel seen whatever you are trying to bring emotionally into the world i'm a very emotion led creator or creative
• 5:38
  I think then the work is to release it into the world and let the world decide what the reception is and we're going to talk about that later
• 5:48
  this is really creating from a place of service and focusing not on your ego your shame your fear which is really important to validate but it sometimes gets us you know not in the service mindset
• 6:03
  which i don't mean of course you know love yourself stay safe all those things but when you focus on the other when you focus on the collective things shift what happens first you start to realize the other doesn't crave perfection
• 6:19
  when you when you lost so a video where you like what or like when you lost so a piece of art where you like wow i love this because it was perfect or because it moved me
• 6:30
  I am always seeking to be moved and i know that everything that's moved me the creator can tell me what they think the flaws of that is of that piece of art
• 6:44
  but i mean that's not my business you know what i mean i'm trying to receive the art they are creating the art it's two different perspectives
• 6:53
  there's a beautiful video by simplifying some on this topic that i want to share now okay listen to this
• 7:02
  love it incredible phenomenal sensational so the mindset here is if this could help one person who am i not to share it in a world that needs so much support so much love so much energy so much feeling seen like if you're grieving for example and you're like why did no one tell me this you be someone
• 7:27
  and even if that creation doesn't get the response that you are subconsciously craving because you may focus on reaching one person but desire to reach many more you'll still know your heart and your creativity were aligned
• 7:42
  that you were coming from a spiritual form or from a few that doesn't serve you from a deeply loving place a deeply serving place
• 7:51
  and one thing that Jay Shady always says or has said in an interview is that nature is always serving and we are nature I always say that as well we are nature so when you look at nature what is it doing listen to this
• 8:03
  I love Jay Shady so much oh hello everyone welcome back to on purpose and I'm one health podcast in the world I love him
• 8:14
  okay this directly ties to the next piece of advice that is something I tell myself every single day that I am creating on the internet
• 8:24
  whatever happens next after you hit send after you hit submit after you hit is none of your business
• 8:32
  this to me is a form of radical detachment I really work on trying to not over identify with the outcome especially on an algorithm driven platform
• 8:46
  because an algorithm I mean so much embedded in that so much anti-blackness so many weird you know this beauty standard so even when my video goes viral
• 8:57
  I'll never know why it went viral you know what I mean so much goes into what performs well on the internet
• 9:05
  and it's none of my business because and if you are loving this vibe this energy you must read Rick Rubin's book
• 9:12
  the creative act away of being because this is what he says your what he specifically says is your work is to create things that you love
• 9:21
  that's his whole thing make things you love make things you love I think that's so powerful beautiful and succinct
• 9:30
  that what if you just devoted your time to making things you love and then whatever happens next you can't control and nor should you try to
• 9:40
  people may love it people may hate it but the goal was you honored your consciousness right which is your biggest
• 9:50
  I don't want to say resource can vest no like paint actually you know what I mean is to me is your consciousness
• 9:59
  it's everything you've experienced every thought you've had every dream every book you've read every book you've tried to read
• 10:08
  you know every heartbreak and every falling in love and the loneliness and the pain all of that collectively is your consciousness
• 10:18
  and because we also have a collective consciousness that you are necessarily a deep part of your consciousness is shaped in part by the collective consciousness
• 10:29
  and the collective consciousness is in wait your consciousness let me take the passive voice away your consciousness
• 10:39
  okay so because we're part of this collective this ecosystem of being the collective necessarily in part shapes your consciousness
• 10:50
  so what you're aware of what you are noticing is in part influenced the time you're living in the culture you're living in who you grew up around all of those things the collective consciousness
• 11:01
  and also your consciousness can help influence shape your consciousness can help beautify shape enlighten add to the collective consciousness
• 11:16
  and I think that is what the role of artists is it's really because they are so in their consciousness they're so aware of the eye for example
• 11:27
  so let's say you're a photographer you're so aware of what makes a beautiful or what makes a profound photo that's your consciousness
• 11:37
  that you're able to create and then take that photo I heard a beautiful quote from a new friend of mine and it's from I think the name is Hansel Adams
• 11:48
  and they say that a photo is not taken it is created beautiful I may be missing that up
• 11:58
  Hansel Adams
• 12:13
  Hansel Adams yes so I think that's a really beautiful example of how photographers can paint the world with their consciousness you know what I mean
• 12:24
  and whatever your art medium what really is the medium is also your consciousness that is the way that you are transmuting your experience and making it and making it meaningful to someone else
• 12:42
  so if you honor that then whatever happens next it's beyond even your concern let me talk about how this affects me
• 12:55
  so I am a TikTok creator as you know that and I really try to not focus on how many views did this get how many likes did this get how many comments did this get how many followers do I have I try of course it's so there that it's impossible to fully ignore
• 13:12
  so this is an attempt but I think just the attempt says a lot and is worthy of my effort because I want to create from a place of spirit right of this came from me this was important to me
• 13:28
  if I create from a what do people want from me it's a completely different relationship to art and to creation
• 13:38
  because I also don't want to undermine what I'm trying to do by making it about likes and follows whenever someone says to me oh how many follows you have I'm always like you don't understand what I'm trying to do and that's okay I think to myself this
• 13:50
  because you can't measure the impact you're having in numbers it's the colonizer and the capitalist obsession with numbers and with measurement you know the quantification of everything we are in the age of quantification people know how many hours they slept what they heart rate is how many books they read that year how many pages each book was how long they took to read each page
• 14:14
  you know what I mean they know how many steps they took they know how long they work towards their goals they know their day streaks of how much they how much they practice their goals numbers numbers numbers numbers can't tell the full story
• 14:28
  if you got have a video I tell myself this with 200 views but it moved someone it affected them great that's a huge that's a whole person a whole human being
• 14:40
  and that can't be measured the the like when you are trying to bring about a conscious a spiritual consciousness effect you know what I mean I can't measure that if someone sees my video
• 14:55
  and feels differently about how they look I'm not going to see that in how many views the video got so a video something resonating you know virality is not the same as movement you know because someone can just talk about nothing like fashion
• 15:13
  not someone can talk about something very you know unmoving and go viral for it so virality is not a measure of you know you have to decide what you're trying to bring into the world I'm not trying to bring virality into the world I'm trying to change like I'm trying to like move people that's I want to I want to if there's one thing about me I want to move you
• 15:30
  whatever that direction is that day like let's be moved towards a more loving liberating and generous and whole world where we can all fully be ourselves and in community with others that takes a conscious
• 15:45
  consciousness shift that takes people realizing oh it's not my fault I feel this way and I'm not the only person trying to create the shift which takes away a lot of the pressure that I'm in community with so many other artists voices creators who are trying to bring about a similar change
• 16:02
  and that's also why my work doesn't have to be perfect because I'm not doing this alone nor should I even try okay so what happens next is none of your business the next thing I've already alluded to but it's words that I love saying that came to me when I was doing the finding your voice
• 16:20
  and it is paint the world with your consciousness I love this so much and please these are like listen quote me this is beautiful to me I love this this is like the best thing I've thought of this year and I mean it's always influenced by the collective and by things that you know but paint the world with your consciousness
• 16:39
  whatever you are feel whatever you feel needs to be made more aware of whatever you feel why don't share it you know what I mean in some way in some shape in some form
• 16:54
  what if we painted society with the way that we feel and think and taste you know that's painting the world with your consciousness in terms of food there's all these senses for you to reach people on
• 17:09
  there's what they see there's what they taste is what they feel there's what they know there's what they like come to know there's what they experience you know you can paint the world with your consciousness by creating an amazing event
• 17:23
  I met the school yesterday and she's creating a woman circle where they meet every single Thursday from 7 to 9 pm and they discuss questions related to vulnerability or career or anything you're moving through loneliness and I just think that is her painting the world with her consciousness she's saying what if we could just X and she's doing X that's an innovator that's someone who is bringing the world they want to see into being and it doesn't have to be some grand thing
• 17:52
  it poses for 20 people that's incredible again it's not about scale if that event helps one person that's incredible 20 people phenomenal I mean that's a whole world that's a whole ecosystem
• 18:05
  so you don't have to paint the world with your consciousness by becoming you know we always go to our society is obsessed with the best you know what I mean with the top the top podcasts the top books best selling
• 18:18
  based on good dreams you don't have to do that or you don't have to aim to do that what if you just shared your consciousness as it is and I mentioned this but you have a you know something I made a video on recently is that wisdom when it's truthful is contradictory
• 18:35
  so you are both unique and you are not unique you know what I mean you both know so much and know nothing at all and when you can sit in that tension in that contradiction in that yin and yang I think then you are facing a deeper truth
• 18:52
  because when we choose the side that suits us I don't think we're really accepting it's like taking the yin without the yang we're not fully embracing how dynamic contrasting the world is and truth is and you think about the earth you know it's night and day at the same time how do you sustain life on a spherical planet you need contrast and contradiction you know what I mean you need the both and you need it to be summer one place
• 19:21
  and winter another place you know you need it to be very dry in some places and very you know fertile and wet in others you need contrast and complexity and I believe wisdom is the same that when we start to say one thing life is short
• 19:42
  life is short and long you know what I mean life is too short to do some things life is too long to not do others right it's the both and and it's understanding the the art of wisdom to me is understanding when you veered too far to the one side so you can tell yourself the other side so as to bring you into equilibrium
• 20:05
  so if you are someone who moves through the world thinking I'm just like everyone else and I have nothing to share if you move if you are someone who moves through the world thinking
• 20:25
  I know absolutely nothing there's nothing I know I'm not knowledgeable then it's helpful for you to tell yourself I'm actually really knowledgeable I know so much what is the truth the truth is there's so much beyond our knowledge that you know look at the we live in a universe you know
• 20:45
  so there's way more we don't know than we could ever hope to know I mean the scale of those two things it's it's incomparable almost but telling yourself the opposite brings you to the middle so if you've been telling yourself I don't have time tell yourself I have all the time in the world tell yourself okay now I'm going to pretend I'm going to I know that I'm going to die at a hundred
• 21:07
  so now if I've always dreamed of learning Spanish I've always dreamed of dancing if I've always dreamed of going to a singing group if I've always dreamed of starting a community if I've always dreamed of being a content creator of you know starting a mutual aid project I'm going to tell myself because I believe that I don't have time I'm going to convince myself I will die at a hundred
• 21:28
  because I've veered too close to it to an incomplete truth so I'm going to veered to the other side okay okay so your consciousness matters my darling I'm telling you now and you've told yourself for too long it matters not at all so I'm going to tell you it matters a lot that you actually can change the world
• 21:48
  because what is the world the world is a set of many worlds you know what I mean it's not just we live in a world there are so many worlds it's like an ecosystem versus a superstructure right there are so many pockets of worlds of norms of people of cultures you know
• 22:05
  and that's how we used to live in small small tribes but even still today we don't just live in a world you know there's so many there are universal truths yes but there are also extremely local truths
• 22:17
  and so you can change the world and this idea is called the puriverse versus the universe and it comes I think from the Latin American decolonial school where they said that through Western colonialism and colonization they came to create the structure of the world like no one it's this is actually a more complex idea than I have then I want to dive into right now but basically it's the idea of how can we come to understand
• 22:46
  that we live in and we should aim to live in a puriverse because what because every people who live near a river and people who live on the mountain don't live in the same world you know what I mean like the same micro world.
• 23:01
  Okay so anyway this is a very much longer topic but that's where I learned it so you can go look it up if you would like let's move to the next one which is kind of something that has been you know pulsating through what I've been saying with paint the world with your consciousness and with a lot of these you know other topics I mentioned in the last video
• 23:22
  excuse me is three words me and my roommate used to ask ourselves this all the time why not you why not you okay and I would add why not you why not me why not us why not tell me why not and I know you're gonna come up with reasons but actually everyone you admire is just you know very similar to you I mean often that's not the case because they had so many more resources
• 23:51
  that I mean by why not you is why not you to write the poem that you want to write you know what I mean sometimes I'll get an idea for something and I'll be like oh that's too big for me I can't handle that for example
• 24:01
  recently I've been really thinking about creating a TV show that is a commentary on the dystopia of beauty I think we live in this white male imagination in terms of who has the access and resources to create you know these mass dystopian shows
• 24:17
  and so they dream of they have to invent dystopia because the world was made for them so they create these other worlds brought like look around we're living in a dystopian society
• 24:28
  and I think that's the reason why I'm interested in doing beauty is because I feel like it hasn't fully been told well in a sort of compelling dystopic way
• 24:43
  I don't think I've seen a show like that that specifically talks about beauty standards beauty pain eating disorders skin lightening body dysmorphia anti-blackness colorism like the pain of these things that people are carrying and in a world where we actually have access to abundant love and joy well not in our world but in a world where we could because we live on you know the only planet that can sustain life
• 25:09
  just that small fact that we are you know never really invite to sit with and be like wow shouldn't we do something with that and live in joy and community and love anyways
• 25:18
  so I would I think that would be such a beautiful story you know to tell and really rooted in the truth not in some fantasy you know
• 25:28
  but I keep thinking to myself who am I to write a fucking TV show I don't know how to do that but then it's also like okay why not you you know what I mean
• 25:40
  and as I speak this into existence just know that I have so many ideas so my thing is more you know on the creative journey I think we each have I might have said this in the last episode
• 25:50
  we each have the part of the journey we tend to struggle with most and often there are deeper sides of our being our shadow or our persona that that side relates to
• 26:02
  so I'm very very I'm going to say good at ideas I can come up with so many ideas if you called me and you said I have this idea for this community business project
• 26:12
  I'll be like come on let's go let's look like I have so much I love inspiration I read like very broadly versus specifically and so I feel like my I just love the feeling of
• 26:24
  of brainstorming and of that that that of coming up with ideas for things or like I have so many ideas for TikToks for essays for you know
• 26:33
  things that I would like to start for games for projects that I want to be able to do and actually my goal with paradigm shifts is I'm really trying to focus on building the foundation which is you know having the podcast and having
• 26:47
  my sub stack subscribe to so I can like have a base and from there I want to build a forest like I really want to you know support stories that need to be told I really want to
• 27:01
  help with this idea of other ways to learn about colonialism and white supremacy I mean people are so hungry for this information I think
• 27:10
  TikToks a beautiful platform but could there be other ways to disseminate information I'm really like so passionate about mutual aid and I would love to give more energy to that space
• 27:20
  and support organizers and you know there's just so much that I want to do but I just tell myself like you can't do everything at the same time
• 27:29
  and so there is a level of you know focus and and if you think of the process of farming like first you lay the seeds you know what I mean
• 27:38
  then you water and tend to the soil then you reap the harvest and I don't mean by that you know but I mean something that can bring more love like community
• 27:49
  into the lives of others oh another dream I have is of building spaces for community and on that point on Sunday literally this Sunday
• 27:56
  I'm having my first showing up together session which is going to be on Google meets at it's at 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Eastern time
• 28:08
  and it's going to be a chance to get on a video call you can be off video on say hi if you want to and do something that you've been meaning to show up for
• 28:18
  but you have been avoiding coming from me and avoid it okay so I'd love to see you there the details will be in the show notes
• 28:24
  so why not you my darling why not you if you have a dream if you have a and I don't I really mean a spiritual dream
• 28:33
  it doesn't have to be I don't mean like if you dream of you know success or no that's not what I mean at all I dream of dancing
• 28:40
  you know what I mean it's not and I don't dream of dancing in front of others I just dream of a certain freedom you know in my body
• 28:48
  in my movement that I don't currently fully have access to like I love dancing but I still feel a level of self-consciousness
• 28:55
  and I dream of never feeling self-conscious when I dance and only feeling free you know what I mean so why not me to experience that
• 29:03
  why not me then to understand okay that's the end goal for one of my end goals then what do I need to do to get there
• 29:10
  and I really try to draw this fine balance between productivity culture and moving from a place of this is spiritually creatively
• 29:19
  deeply consciously meaningful to me and therefore I am going to embark on this journey versus this will make me worthy
• 29:27
  lovable this will make me admire this will make me money and I'm not saying of course like we live in a society where I'm not saying if you do have dreams
• 29:34
  based on those things you are like yes we all do but I'm trying to not speak to that side of us because I think there's so much content
• 29:40
  out there that does exactly that so you don't need my voice to tell you about that at all
• 29:45
  so when I say why not you why not me why not us we're on this journey together facing ideas that we're scared of yet where did they come from
• 29:54
  our bodies are us like sometimes you wake up and you just think to yourself wouldn't it be nice if or you see a vision of something
• 30:01
  you know what I mean why not you what if the universe is trying to speak through you and I view this from a very spiritual lens of like
• 30:09
  I am in constant communication with the universe with source with God if you are if that's what you believe in for me it's with the universe
• 30:19
  and so why not me and for me what brings us sharply into focus something that's really at the center of how I live my life is my own mortality
• 30:26
  the idea that I will die and I face that literally almost daily it's like one of the things that I'm grateful for because I don't want to die
• 30:35
  I know that's not true for everyone and I'm sending you lots of love and I know that things are going to there's going to be community and love for you
• 30:44
  it's coming your way I'm manifesting it for you so why not me is because no one can die in my place I'm going to be the one to die
• 30:55
  and so therefore if I have all these ideas and they're just going to die with me what's the point you know what I mean what's the point that's my take I don't believe you have to share everything as I keep saying
• 31:08
  but my obviously you can see I'm sharing everything like I'm sharing a lot of my like ideas so obviously I have a bias towards sharing your ideas
• 31:15
  that's because I just like why would all of this if I have something that could help someone why would it die with me what's the point if I have words that really move me that could move someone why would I die with them
• 31:27
  if I have a newsletter or an art or an essay that could move someone why should it die with me why not you why not me and why not us and I like why not us because you shouldn't have to do this alone
• 31:40
  that's why I'm creating the showing up together session because it's really daunting it's really daunting to do this by yourself to have an idea and then to bring it into life
• 31:49
  is for some reason fraught with terror and danger and it's like that transformation of silence into language and action of course I'm afraid
• 31:56
  because the transformation of silence into language and action always seems fraught with danger
• 32:01
  thank you Audrey Lord for your words for your consciousness for painting the world with your consciousness such that we could be moved by your words and by your consciousness by your perspective
• 32:10
  you know what I mean each word hard earned by your living by your breathing by your seeing by your being aware and that is why it's so important to take your awareness seriously
• 32:20
  that's what Rick Rubin also says I'm going to end with this actually and that is at the end of the day that's the last piece of advice and it's this
• 32:38
  at the end of the day my darling it's just a poem it's just a video it's just a podcast episode it's just a song it's just a book
• 32:47
  you know what I mean there's millions like it's like both extremely important and not important at all again from Rick Rubin's book I think
• 32:57
  and while I was reading his book it was so interesting because I was like I thought this you know because it's the collective consciousness
• 33:03
  and obviously some things I'd never thought of but as creatives who are like spiritual I feel like we lean on similar ideas you know to get us there
• 33:12
  but I learned a lot as well there was a lot of new stuff I think my favorite chapter is the one on rules and how you can think about breaking the rules it's really good you should read the book
• 33:22
  so it's not that big of a deal I remember when I was working on my podcast I was terrifying when I started my podcast it was really
• 33:30
  fraught with a lot of emotional angst and it still is in many ways but in the beginning especially and you know you work on this
• 33:37
  episode and you're working and working and then you hit send and you think like nothing changes is the same world
• 33:44
  so you might as well do it babe because it's like not that big of a deal and also like I don't mean to diminish the pain of it
• 33:51
  but what I mean is that at the end of the day at the end when the days over you know it's just a video
• 33:58
  there's millions even if I embarrass myself in this video I tell myself it's just one video someone's going to scroll pause and not even you know it's not a big deal
• 34:05
  there's millions of videos being produced daily and especially in today's world where we're in such an age of you know mass content
• 34:13
  like being created by people who are incredible I mean many of whom are incredible it's just a video it's just an essay how many essays have you seen on the internet
• 34:23
  like so many so many so you might as well honor your consciousness by writing it and by sharing it and then just being like what happens
• 34:39
  so I hope this has helped you just know that this comes from my consciousness as in this is what I move through I'm moving through this right now
• 34:47
  the two things that I'm struggling with one is I made this video on beauty as alienation from the self and I'm really struggling to write the essay on it
• 34:55
  it's just like not it's taking its time or it's I don't know it's it's been really actually painful like I haven't enjoyed writing it yet I feel like I must
• 35:03
  so that's one thing I'm struggling with I'm like I'm like as I write it I'm like I'm so ashamed of myself
• 35:08
  so I need these words of like why not me of like what happens next to my business of like you know if this could just help one person
• 35:15
  you know what I mean of like this feeling of anxiety and concern and stress does connect me to other creatives even though we shouldn't glorify those things
• 35:24
  they are part of most people's creative process unfortunately like that's the hard like hard truth that I'm facing is that
• 35:31
  I I would tell my therapist like I'm feeling so anxious and she's like what if that's part of your process like as in in order for you in part
• 35:39
  in your process of creating this is an inevitable experience that you have you know what I mean it's not all joyful
• 35:47
  and I wish it really was and I want to bring more joy and more pleasure and more ease but unfortunately sometimes there is a lot of fear
• 35:54
  because the fear comes from doing something that's deeply meaningful to you and what a joy what a blessing
• 35:59
  and what I love on this paradigm shift is I think I learnt this on J Shady's podcast and I think Big Sean said it is
• 36:06
  it's not I have to do this it's I get to do this I tell myself I could lose my voice one day I could have vocal cancer
• 36:15
  so I get to create I get to share my voice I could have some sort of injury that makes me unable to create in this way
• 36:23
  or I could just the idea that I have the time and the energy in the space it's I get to do this
• 36:29
  and that's really why like please if you support me join my samstag join that so that I can keep getting to do this
• 36:35
  because I'm really trying to build this into something I can live off of and be sustainably living off of
• 36:42
  so I just appreciate you so much for being here and I love you and I'm sending you so much love I hope this helps you
• 36:49
  send it to anyone who it could support remember that on Sunday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. EST Eastern Standard Time
• 36:57
  I'm having the showing up together session where we're going to come together and face something we've been avoiding
• 37:04
  like basically a working session so you'll be I'm going to be responding to texts I've been literally so behind on
• 37:11
  other people may be editing something or writing something or working on something and so that's the goal for the session
• 37:17
  I don't even mind if again if just one person joins that's great I've been terrified to do this
• 37:22
  because it's you know daunting to just like get on a call people you don't know yet and meet them
• 37:27
  but I feel like on the other side of fear and embarrassment lies the life that we truly actually more authentically want to live
• 37:36
  and that we can be in more service to others and when you're serving others often there is embarrassment involved
• 37:41
  even the practice the idea of service there's a level of surrendering your ego in service of the other
• 37:48
  and so that's what I try to do in my work and in my art I'm sending you so much love you are divine you are sublime
• 37:57
  you have nothing to prove you know what I mean this is not about proving anything to anyone
• 38:03
  this is about painting the world with your consciousness honoring your living life force
• 38:08
  honoring the fact that you are of nature you are nature you are of the universe
• 38:13
  and you have a specific perspective and a specific experience that the world cannot wait to hear
• 38:19
  okay I love you so much sending you love goodbye and if you would be so kind as to leave a five star rating on Spotify and Apple
• 38:26
  I would really really appreciate it because it will help people find the podcast and help people reach me and find the podcast
• 38:34
  and also this is my little creative dream so you're helping me bring it to life
• 38:38
  I love you so much I'm sending you love and have a beautiful beautiful day okay love you bye