Latest / The Bad Moon's Orbit / Episode 21: Gloomspite Gitz (Part 1)

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Episode 21: Gloomspite Gitz (Part 1) · The Bad Moon's Orbit

• 0:36
  Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of The Bad Moons
• 0:39
  Orbit. I am, as always, your frazzle.
• 0:41
  Get Shaman Dalton Montgomery. And I'm Darian of Green Gables.
• 0:46
  Friends, dear listeners, it's time we're here.
• 0:52
  It's time we've made it. We've made it.
• 0:54
  Oh my gosh, where are? We it's very this is this is
• 0:57
  going to be episode where a lot of questions get answered for
• 1:00
  you and our listeners. But if you've seen the title of
• 1:02
  this episode, you already know where I'm going.
• 1:04
  Then you have exciting things to look forward to.
• 1:07
  Darian. Today we're going to talk about
• 1:10
  the bad moon. That's right, today's episode is
• 1:17
  about the bad moon, and by extension is about the people
• 1:20
  who worship it. Today's episode is about the
• 1:23
  Gloomspite gets I'm. So excited.
• 1:28
  If you can hear the exuberation of my voice, listeners A, it's
• 1:31
  because of excited to be recording and excited to be
• 1:35
  back. You're definitely hearing this
• 1:36
  after our hiatus, after we started recording and after our
• 1:39
  hiatus after the Belle core episode and whatnot.
• 1:41
  But also extra bonus tinge of excitement in my voice.
• 1:44
  Because, dear listeners, this is the army that I play.
• 1:48
  Dalton plays Gerblins and Orc Boys.
• 1:50
  Yeah, this is my main faction. I play a couple, but gets is
• 1:55
  where my heart lies and I'm very excited to talk about him today.
• 2:00
  Let's go. But before we do, before we do
• 2:02
  game stuff, Terry, do you have a a game thing that you would like
• 2:05
  to share? Yes, I've been listening to
• 2:07
  Worlds Beyond Number. Really good.
• 2:09
  Yeah. Dylan Hunter was right.
• 2:10
  I don't need to get into it. I knew he was going to be right.
• 2:13
  This is not news. But yeah, it's great and I love
• 2:16
  it and I recommend it. And yeah, that's all I just say
• 2:20
  on that. Hell yeah, you don't need to get
• 2:21
  into it. Nope, it's super duper good.
• 2:23
  We can't get into it. We won't be here all episode.
• 2:25
  So I love the fox. I'll also do a tabletop RPG one.
• 2:29
  I've been also on Dylan Hunter's recommendation.
• 2:32
  The sub theme of this episode is Dylan Hunter.
• 2:33
  The sub theme. Is Dylan Hunter is always right?
• 2:37
  I have been reading a tabletop RPG called The Trespasser which
• 2:42
  I have been enjoying quite a bit.
• 2:44
  It is in a like old school revivalist tradition that kind
• 2:49
  of like early DND. Like you're not epic heroes,
• 2:53
  you're not like out to save the world.
• 2:55
  You're just some person trying to get by with a little bit of
• 2:59
  like modern flair, some really interesting like character
• 3:02
  building stuff that I really enjoyed reading about, and a
• 3:06
  completely unhinged character creation process where you roll
• 3:11
  fully randomly for characters and then the first session is a
• 3:17
  like. And level 1 characters have no
• 3:20
  skills or abilities, they're level 1 commoners.
• 3:22
  So you roll completely randomly for level 1 commoners, three of
• 3:26
  whom are expected to die during the first session, and then you
• 3:30
  play the one who lives. OK.
• 3:33
  Yep, it's a it's a bad hard world out there, but it's
• 3:37
  fascinating. It's doing stuff that I haven't
• 3:39
  seen done so much successfully in tabletop RPG spaces, and I
• 3:43
  like it a lot. So shout out, shout out to
• 3:45
  Trespasser. It's a cool, cool system, but
• 3:50
  that's not the thing we're here to talk about today, and I am
• 3:52
  too excited to to spend any more time not talking about our
• 3:56
  little green boys. So what is what are?
• 4:00
  Well, let's let's start from the top.
• 4:02
  We're going to talk about goblins on the Grot in AOS
• 4:06
  terminology. It's it's one of those I like, I
• 4:08
  still hate it. No, you do.
• 4:10
  You like it because you just like the guys.
• 4:12
  No, I I think it's a good like you have a diminutive little
• 4:15
  like creepy little dude. He's a grot.
• 4:19
  I guess. I like it.
• 4:21
  No, you're not. I'm not trying to convince you
• 4:22
  you're incorrect. I just don't like any of them.
• 4:25
  Odds principle. That's fair.
• 4:27
  That's also completely fine. So we we talked about him a
• 4:31
  little bit in the GUR episode because goblin orcs are
• 4:35
  intrinsically linked. They're both children of
• 4:37
  Gorkamarka, the great green God of destruction.
• 4:40
  Whereas orcs represent Gork, his brutality traditionally, goblins
• 4:45
  represent his Canon. His little is brutally cunning
• 4:49
  and cunningly brutal are generally the aspects of
• 4:51
  Gorkamarka. I prefer the terminology used by
• 4:55
  the great green prophet of our time, Gordrack, that Gork wants
• 5:00
  to fight and Mork wants to win. Yeah, it's a good dichotomy.
• 5:06
  But as we're going to talk about in this episode, and also what
• 5:08
  we'll talk about when we eventually do the orc episode,
• 5:10
  that distinction has gotten squirrely in the time since orcs
• 5:13
  and goblins have split. That's right, they don't hang
• 5:16
  out. Yes, they.
• 5:17
  Don't hang out anymore. We have a couple theories, but
• 5:19
  no confirmation for why they don't hang out anymore.
• 5:22
  My favorite is that it was a fight over a particularly shiny
• 5:24
  spoon that got way out of hand. That's one of the proposed
• 5:28
  candidate. Yeah, feels right.
• 5:31
  What what are the more like grounded ones that seems to have
• 5:34
  some of the like any universe backing?
• 5:37
  Is the idea that Gorka Morka told orcs and goblins that they
• 5:39
  needed to split to learn to be self-sufficient without each
• 5:44
  other interesting to better fight chaos the next time it
• 5:48
  comes around is the idea. And I think we do see some
• 5:50
  evidence of that. Well, we'll get into it when
• 5:52
  we're talking about Got ones a little bit, but just note that,
• 5:54
  like baseline, it's orcs are brutal, Goblins are cunning, but
• 5:59
  that's gone squirrely. And that's interesting, I think.
• 6:02
  So goblins split off from orcs. They go without orcs to be kind
• 6:06
  of like their protectors, bodyguards, like the muscle
• 6:08
  behind them. They look to ways in which to,
• 6:11
  like, better protect themselves. Goblins are small.
• 6:14
  They're not particularly strong. Yeah.
• 6:16
  They're not particularly fast. Like they're just kind of
• 6:20
  they're just kind of little guys.
• 6:23
  And notably they're too small to generate wah.
• 6:28
  Yeah, Wah is the like supernatural force that orcs
• 6:31
  generate when they break stuff. Other creatures can generate wah
• 6:36
  if they're aligned with Corkamorca.
• 6:38
  We actually see it with giants a little bit because it does seem
• 6:43
  seem to be associated with size. Like I said, we have explicit in
• 6:46
  universe cultivation. The goblins are just too small
• 6:48
  to generate wah even in like mass numbers.
• 6:52
  And some giants are so big that they can generate all by
• 6:55
  themselves, which is terrifying. But so that leads them to
• 7:02
  basically like crawl into like the caves and kind of dark
• 7:06
  places of the world. We very quickly establish this
• 7:08
  paradigm where goblins live in caves, they live in tunnels.
• 7:12
  They kind of shy away from the natural world a little bit.
• 7:17
  And that leads to them, it's unclear if they, like, always
• 7:19
  had this or if they developed it.
• 7:21
  It leads to them developing this kind of like sunlight
• 7:24
  sensitivity over the generations through like the Age of Myth and
• 7:27
  into the Age of Sigmar, through the Age of Chaos.
• 7:31
  We get to the point where goblins are like, genuinely hurt
• 7:35
  if they go out in sunlight. Yeah.
• 7:37
  So sticking to night time, a lot of goblins flock to Olgu for
• 7:41
  that reason. Because it never gets properly
• 7:42
  daytime in OLGU. Yeah, and they avoid Hitch like
• 7:46
  the plague because it's literally always daytime.
• 7:48
  That would. Be bad for.
• 7:49
  Them. Yes, they're the.
• 7:51
  Opposite of light elves. Yes.
• 7:54
  So goblins eventually kind of split into these like subgroups
• 8:02
  that all have their different ways of coping with.
• 8:04
  Like orcs most directly like worship Gorkumarka.
• 8:08
  They keep to Gorkumarkas like quartets and principles and they
• 8:11
  venerate Gorkumarka like by name, whereas the rest of the
• 8:15
  people associated with Gorkumarka have kind of
• 8:16
  approached it through the middle Men like ogres are also like in
• 8:23
  worship of Gorkumarka, but ogres are cursed with that eternal
• 8:25
  hunger. So most of them worship
• 8:29
  Gorkumarka has such a bummer. Every time I think about that, I
• 8:32
  get pretty sacks. So many ogres worship
• 8:36
  Gorkamorcha as the aspect of the gulping God.
• 8:39
  Like someone who is so big that they can eat so much that even
• 8:42
  they could overcome that. Like endless hunger is the idea.
• 8:47
  Giants tend to worship Gorkamorcha.
• 8:50
  Gorkamorcha because I'm going to.
• 8:55
  Giants worship Gorkamorcha directly, but also like through
• 8:59
  Bayamont, his buddy. Yeah, because giants are all
• 9:03
  descendant of Baymont. They do not hold that Gork is
• 9:05
  brutal and Mark is cunning. They hold that Gork is stompy
• 9:09
  and Mark is kicky. Because giants interact with the
• 9:12
  world mostly through their feet, right?
• 9:14
  Like 1. 100%. One thing that's connecting.
• 9:17
  Goblins actually. They still venerate Gorka Marka,
• 9:22
  but they found a different God. There is another that more
• 9:26
  closely holds their interest, in part because it imparts to them
• 9:32
  some level of that like rightful thing that they feel they're
• 9:36
  denied with not being able to like, access the wall.
• 9:40
  Goblins, almost to a man, worship the bad moon.
• 9:45
  It is the. Goblins.
• 9:49
  It is the goblin God, but it is not like it's not a thing that
• 9:54
  they made. It is.
• 9:56
  Yeah, let's talk about the bad Yeah talk.
• 9:58
  About our podcast name, I don't know what it.
• 10:01
  Is the bad moon is a entity of chaos, not capital C chaos like
• 10:09
  like the realms of chaos, like it's not associated with the
• 10:12
  chaos God. It just does what it wants.
• 10:14
  And that's. Yeah.
• 10:15
  Yeah, it's not like chaos with the goal of utter entropy.
• 10:21
  It is. That's pretty chaotic.
• 10:23
  Yeah, it's the Joker. It's the Joker.
• 10:26
  Yeah, the Bad moon is literally a moon.
• 10:32
  It's a celestial body that moves throughout the realms.
• 10:34
  It follows no clear path. That's crazy.
• 10:37
  Yep, it just goes where it wants.
• 10:39
  Do we know why? Nope.
• 10:40
  Oh, I hate that. Like I say, it goes where it
• 10:44
  wants to. It doesn't have any clear
• 10:45
  pattern. It doesn't have any clear orbit.
• 10:48
  I would. I would worship it too, breaking
• 10:51
  all the rules of the celestial bodies.
• 10:53
  That's kind of the here's the here's the big throw off the
• 10:55
  cover of our podcast name. The Bad Moon's orbit is erratic
• 10:59
  and unpredictable. That's yeah.
• 11:02
  That's kind of our you mean. I'm allowed to get more on him.
• 11:05
  Yeah, our top, Our topic shifts, our conversations go on weird
• 11:08
  tangents. It's great.
• 11:11
  I love that, yes. So the bad moon just kind of
• 11:14
  shows up places and it, like I said, we know it's an immensely
• 11:18
  like powerful cosmic entity. It's just like.
• 11:21
  Is it alive? Yeah, it has intent it seems
• 11:24
  like. We just.
• 11:25
  Can't tell what it is. It has intent, but it doesn't
• 11:28
  seem to have goals. OK.
• 11:29
  So it's kind of does stuff. We say it's a moon, but it's not
• 11:31
  like a moon. It's a moon.
• 11:33
  It is literally a big rock. Yeah.
• 11:36
  Just flies through space. But it's alive, yes.
• 11:40
  Well, that makes it less weird that it just goes where it
• 11:42
  wants. Yeah, OK, well, we we kind of
• 11:44
  think it's life. There's there's theories, OK, we
• 11:47
  we some of this is like conflicting information because
• 11:50
  it's weird. Some of this is the like Grand
• 11:53
  Alliance destruction, which is all the people associated with
• 11:55
  Cork and work a special where we don't have first hand accounts.
• 11:58
  Like we don't all of our like stuff isn't written from the
• 12:02
  perspective of goblins. It's written from the
• 12:04
  perspective of like humans who study goblins.
• 12:06
  And so like it's all second hand.
• 12:09
  And so we don't have like a lot of clear answers.
• 12:10
  But as far as we can tell, the bad moon shows intent.
• 12:15
  It is in some way connected to Gorkamorcha, though we don't
• 12:17
  know for sure how, just that there's a big like cosmic event
• 12:22
  that occurred in lore that we'll talk about at some point called
• 12:25
  the Era of the Beast, which greatly empowered that's.
• 12:30
  Going to be fun, looking forward to that.
• 12:32
  Oh, yeah, greatly empowered, like all the wild places of the
• 12:35
  world, as well as, like, things associated with Cork Amorca.
• 12:37
  And it made the bad moon go extra erratic.
• 12:40
  So we know that it's like, either like, an aspect of the
• 12:43
  natural world or, yeah, like connected to Cork Amorca.
• 12:47
  But as far as we can tell, yeah, it just kind of does what it
• 12:50
  wants. And the main thing that like
• 12:53
  ties it to goblins for us and the ties goblins together into
• 12:58
  the kind of collective entity known as the Gloomspike gets is
• 13:03
  the effect it has on them and has on like other creatures in
• 13:06
  the realm. OK.
• 13:08
  So First off, where the bad moon goes, it is preceded by omens.
• 13:13
  Omens. OK.
• 13:16
  And those can be like, there's a sliding scale of benign to like
• 13:21
  abjectively terrifying. The Batman has a strong
• 13:24
  association with fungus. It is a strong association with
• 13:28
  insects and has a strong association with prophecy and
• 13:33
  so. Prophecy of its own arrival or
• 13:35
  like. Yes and no.
• 13:37
  Prophecy of lots of stuff. So we have examples of like
• 13:40
  places where the Batman is going to arrive having like sudden
• 13:43
  explosive outcroppings of fungus, like just a town or
• 13:47
  building on the edge of town just completely subsumed by like
• 13:51
  fungal gross in one. Night.
• 13:52
  No, I'm leaving. I'm moving.
• 13:54
  I'm just going to commit to that place I've been watching on this
• 13:56
  Willow. It's a good I'd rather live in
• 13:58
  the place where the trees want to eat.
• 13:59
  Yeah, you don't want to be there when the Batman arrives.
• 14:01
  Probably, if you're not a goblet.
• 14:03
  Oh, no insects getting And like I said, these, these vary in
• 14:07
  severity. Sometimes it's just like there
• 14:09
  happened to be more mushrooms around sometimes like that was
• 14:11
  talking about. One of the like, lower impact
• 14:15
  but more terrifying ones I think is that sometimes bugs just
• 14:20
  aren't scared of people anymore. Oh no.
• 14:22
  And so you just see like spiders moving around in daytime or like
• 14:27
  centipedes, like moving between houses, just like because
• 14:31
  they're not afraid of people. Yep, Yep, this is fine.
• 14:33
  Yep, the most. And this happens in a book, and
• 14:35
  it's the one that I always use to communicate to people how
• 14:38
  fucking weird the bad moon is. OK is in one of the books like
• 14:42
  in a town before it arrives, like about a week before it
• 14:45
  arrives, A calf like a baby cow is born.
• 14:49
  And when that calf is born, it has the face of a spider.
• 14:53
  And when they like lift it to look at it, that spider face
• 14:58
  looks them dead in the eye and in perfect deserted, which is
• 15:02
  our like common equivalent, tells them the day they're going
• 15:06
  to die just a perfect. Is it that day, that moment?
• 15:12
  Because I think for me, it'd be that moment.
• 15:14
  It's like in a month is the Yeah.
• 15:17
  Because the bad mood's going to show up.
• 15:19
  Or yeah, that's the implication. Yeah, but just spider faced cow
• 15:23
  baby going you'll die in 13 days and then immediately flourishing
• 15:28
  because it was only being sustained by like raw magic.
• 15:33
  But not like chaos magic but not capital K chaos magic.
• 15:37
  Correct. I said capital K on purpose.
• 15:40
  It was a jokey joke. It's all even.
• 15:44
  Profits across the realm. People who are already like
• 15:46
  attuned to like prophetic visions and stuff tend to be
• 15:49
  able to feel it coming for sure. Get out.
• 15:52
  OF feels like it wants people to know.
• 15:53
  So yeah. I mean, while the folks who are
• 15:55
  already on this grind didn't. Clock it 100%.
• 15:58
  So yeah, like I said, it's not malevolent per SE, it's just
• 16:02
  weird, like. I mean, yeah, weird is a word
• 16:06
  that you could use to describe this entity.
• 16:09
  It's like I said, it's broadly like we think it's broadly kind
• 16:12
  of a nature spirit, but it's it feels weird to call it advocate,
• 16:17
  but it is representative of those things that are
• 16:20
  irrefutably part of nature, but that are gross that people don't
• 16:26
  like we. Don't like the fungus or the
• 16:28
  balls? You look out on a field of corn
• 16:31
  and you're like, uh huh. Yeah, but you wouldn't get the
• 16:34
  same thing from lots of spiders. Right.
• 16:37
  No, no, I wouldn't. I would not.
• 16:43
  So that that's, that's kind of that's kind of the vibe.
• 16:45
  And then when the bad moon shows up, it's the horse.
• 16:48
  Sealed, covered in spider web. Now you like, you know when
• 16:51
  there's a lot of spiders? Yep.
• 16:52
  And suddenly everything looks like it's covered in snow.
• 16:54
  But it's not snow. It's spider web.
• 16:56
  Yep. That's what happened to the
• 16:56
  corn. Yeah.
• 16:58
  Probably. OK, go on.
• 17:00
  When the bad moon arrives, it generally gets worse.
• 17:03
  Oh really? It gets worse than spider headed
• 17:07
  calf telling you the day you'll die.
• 17:10
  Good outcome is just like the moon comes through it like stays
• 17:13
  for a bit and then it moves on That tends to like make fungal
• 17:17
  growths go pretty crazy. You do not if you are not a
• 17:20
  goblin or like any of the other creatures it affects positively.
• 17:24
  You do not want to stand under like bad moonlight because it
• 17:28
  will just make fungus grow on you and not like subtle fungus
• 17:33
  like you're not getting an infection.
• 17:34
  It's like full stemmed mushrooms growing out of your skin.
• 17:38
  Oh my God, because it's bad is that?
• 17:41
  Are those zombies from The Last of Us?
• 17:43
  A little. It doesn't like if if it if you
• 17:46
  get too many mushrooms, you just die.
• 17:48
  It doesn't like. Solify you.
• 17:50
  Yeah, cordyceptatize you. Yeah.
• 17:52
  Cordyceptatize Dalton with the words.
• 17:55
  Cordyceps is the mushroom, I'm pretty sure, so I made that word
• 17:58
  up. That's fine, that's the good
• 18:01
  ending. The bad ending when the bad moon
• 18:04
  shows up is that goblins in some way figured out it was coming.
• 18:09
  Oh shit. Because if they know, they're
• 18:11
  also going to show up. Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
• 18:14
  They do worship the thing. Yeah, they worship it.
• 18:17
  And let's talk about like, why it brings.
• 18:19
  All the goblins to the. All these goblins together,
• 18:21
  Yeah. So goblins are small, right?
• 18:26
  Yeah. How big is a goblin?
• 18:29
  Like how big is a goblin? 2:00-ish feet like.
• 18:32
  I said it's a little taller than my nephew.
• 18:34
  Yeah, he's like one. He's like 1 and some change.
• 18:36
  Yeah, they're little. I don't have a good like human
• 18:40
  model or I could compare them because everything's true to
• 18:42
  scale, which is neat. But yeah.
• 18:45
  And Sturm Caster bigger than humans.
• 18:46
  Or else we could use Guy Warhammer hanging.
• 18:49
  Out of that. But yeah, goblins are a little
• 18:52
  They've learned to like, hide in the dark places of the world.
• 18:55
  They don't like interacting with people.
• 18:56
  In a straight fight, one person could probably take like 3 or 4
• 18:59
  goblins. Like they're not good fighters
• 19:02
  and like all that is normally fine.
• 19:06
  What the bad moon does for goblins is just inspire them
• 19:09
  with like, unshakable confidence.
• 19:11
  It would be correct to use the word manic.
• 19:15
  When you're just kind of. Like a little obsessive.
• 19:18
  You're like jazzed to like do stuff.
• 19:22
  And so goblins for any number of reasons, like to be under bad
• 19:27
  moonlight, even if they don't have like hostile intent to.
• 19:32
  Be clear, there is usually hostile intent, but.
• 19:35
  Even if it's hostile on the level of like, like it's really
• 19:38
  hard for goblins to manufacture glass.
• 19:41
  There's a goblin character we know of named Braggart, and his
• 19:45
  thing is that he collects bottles during bad moon raids to
• 19:49
  sell to other goblins because they're not good at making them.
• 19:53
  And so when the bad moon shows up in a settlement, he just
• 19:55
  waits for other like goblins to attack it.
• 19:58
  And then he goes through all the fucking like breweries and like.
• 20:02
  Alchemy shots that. Takes all the glassware and
• 20:07
  that's extremely funny like. Just rolls up with his wagon.
• 20:12
  God that'd be such a fun weird niche.
• 20:16
  Little like cosplay. Yes, the glass goblin from
• 20:22
  Warhammer AOS. Braget bottle snatcher.
• 20:26
  Braget bottle snatcher. Excellent.
• 20:30
  He's a delight. But yeah, like sometimes goblins
• 20:32
  are there for metal again, hard to forge metal and they're like
• 20:36
  natural living environment. They live in deep, deep, dark
• 20:38
  caves. Sometimes they're just there
• 20:42
  because like they like the feeling that they get under the
• 20:46
  bad moon. Yeah, right.
• 20:47
  Like and they want to use that like confidence and that like
• 20:50
  listen, we. Just want to boost a confidence
• 20:52
  every now and. Then they just want to flex it
• 20:54
  you. Can't be mad at them about this.
• 20:56
  Sometimes it's like retributive right, like we talked before
• 21:00
  about Sigmar and like the reclamation of the realms, right
• 21:02
  how Azurian born humans are like spreading and across the realms
• 21:06
  to quote UN quote like reclaim them for Sigmar, not always
• 21:10
  cognizant of the fact that like. Someone was.
• 21:13
  Living here, some people already live here, like human and
• 21:15
  otherwise. And just sometimes it is just a
• 21:17
  straight up, like, there have been like, goblin clan tunnels
• 21:20
  underneath this place since the age of Chaos.
• 21:23
  And now you're like, plowing to do farm labor and stuff.
• 21:27
  And we're mad about it. Yeah.
• 21:28
  And like, jumping straight to murder probably isn't the like
• 21:32
  way to express that, but you know.
• 21:35
  Yeah. But listen, yeah, they're
• 21:37
  goblins, Yeah. Exactly.
• 21:40
  And so there's goblins are not the only thing that is affected
• 21:43
  by Batman. Like, they, like, they get
• 21:45
  manic, they get like hyped up by it.
• 21:48
  But there are other creatures who are like related to the bad
• 21:51
  moon in some way. And we're not sure what binds
• 21:54
  all of them. Some people think it's the
• 21:56
  goblins. Some people think it's that
• 21:58
  goblins start hanging out with these other groups.
• 22:00
  And so the bad moon, just like adopts them as well.
• 22:04
  The Bad moon has the face of a goblin on it.
• 22:07
  So it's like. Yeah, but only when some people
• 22:10
  look at it. The rest of the time it looks
• 22:11
  like a rock. So.
• 22:12
  And only if you look at certain ways, it's very much like man on
• 22:15
  the moon, like, or like the rabbit on the moon kind of
• 22:18
  thing. Yeah, See the.
• 22:19
  Man on the room but I can't see. The rat.
• 22:20
  I can see the rat. Yeah, same rabbit.
• 22:22
  Same. So how?
• 22:25
  Was it the man on the moon was definitely like a total
• 22:28
  expression, right? Right.
• 22:30
  I didn't realize that I actually until this moment that that was
• 22:33
  like a thing people could see. This is like learning.
• 22:37
  Oh, like being an ace person and learning when someone describes
• 22:39
  someone as hot, like that's not just like a really intense
• 22:43
  metaphor. We're not just.
• 22:43
  Being hyperbolic, right? Like crazy are.
• 22:46
  Y'all OK anyway. No, none of us but.
• 22:52
  So goblins, like I said, manic, excited, etcetera.
• 22:56
  Goblins are associated with squigs.
• 22:58
  Yeah, I like the squigs. I was going to say, Squigs are
• 23:00
  great. We have a, you have lots of
• 23:02
  selection of squigs here. Yes, Squigs are wonderful.
• 23:05
  Squigs are little toothy meatballs on legs.
• 23:08
  I love them when they're super small, but I would hate them in
• 23:10
  real life. Yeah, and they.
• 23:11
  Make me so mad. Yes they are just like little
• 23:15
  hyper aggressive like pug dogs like bipedal like.
• 23:20
  Oh we did. Just compared to pugs maybe.
• 23:22
  I like them slightly. Would they upset me as much as
• 23:24
  walking out to that cornfield and seeing it covered in spider
• 23:26
  web? No one squig would not upset me
• 23:31
  as much as walking outside to that cornfield and seeing it
• 23:33
  covered in spider web. 2 squig was just saying.
• 23:36
  But one squig, I would name it PIM, after my brother's beloved
• 23:40
  pug. And you could probably.
• 23:44
  So the thing about Squigs is they have a reproductive cycle
• 23:46
  measured in minutes. They're very like quibbles, is
• 23:50
  that? The I was gonna say they're
• 23:51
  like, they're like travels. Travels, yes, they're very kind
• 23:55
  of treble like in that way, except that rather than allowing
• 23:58
  it to like be this like Grey Goose scenario like horror
• 24:02
  thing, goblins have taken full utilization of that.
• 24:07
  Squigs do like we have no details on this, but squigs do
• 24:10
  reproduce sexually so you can selectively breed them is like
• 24:14
  the important part of that. They are like pugs.
• 24:16
  Yeah, and so we're going to extend the pug metaphor even
• 24:20
  further. Goblins have mastered the art
• 24:22
  of, like, selective breeding on Squigs, and they can make those
• 24:26
  genetics do completely insane garbage.
• 24:30
  You can. Hey, you know what Squigs don't
• 24:32
  have? Wings.
• 24:34
  You know what Godwins have bred? Squigs with wings.
• 24:38
  Yeah, that's crazy. We have bat squigs, We have
• 24:42
  Stalag squigs which are like ambush bread, so they look like
• 24:46
  Stalag tights. We have spore squigs who are
• 24:51
  bred to have these like. I'm back.
• 24:53
  I'm back fully on a squig string.
• 24:55
  I'm back fully on a squig string.
• 24:57
  It doesn't matter how many squids about what squig.
• 24:59
  None of a squig could upset me as much as that cornfield
• 25:01
  covered in spider webs. I was gonna say you could even
• 25:03
  probably breed like a squig that's just like less aggressive
• 25:07
  because squigs are like very I'm like.
• 25:09
  I mean, yeah, but like, I was thinking someone's invented
• 25:13
  like, purse squigs. Like here's your little tears,
• 25:19
  squig for the kids. I know goblins don't have kids,
• 25:21
  but squig for the kids. We have snuffle squigs, which
• 25:25
  are just squigs who have been bred to have a huge fucking nose
• 25:29
  on their forehead to sniff for like rare mushroom varieties.
• 25:34
  I was going to say. They sound like they look.
• 25:35
  They're truffle pigs. They're truffle.
• 25:36
  Pigs snuffle. Squigs.
• 25:39
  They're great. And then we're gonna talk about
• 25:41
  more. I have a section in my notes
• 25:42
  specifically about Squigs, but I'm gonna.
• 25:44
  Look up to see if I can get a squig plush.
• 25:46
  You keep talking. Certainly Squigs under moonlight
• 25:50
  get both faster and more reliable.
• 25:55
  It's really hard to like direct a squig basically.
• 26:00
  No, that makes sense. Goblins will try sometimes try
• 26:03
  and ride Squigs into battle, which kind of works, but Squigs
• 26:06
  just kind of do what they want most of the time.
• 26:08
  Under moonlight. They get a little bit more
• 26:10
  focused. You can.
• 26:11
  You can direct them a little bit better and they get faster on
• 26:14
  top of that. Nice.
• 26:16
  Yeah. So as Dalton said, yes, you can
• 26:17
  totally get Squig plush. I don't.
• 26:21
  The official one's not great. That's OK, that's what I'm
• 26:23
  saying. They're not great.
• 26:24
  I'm looking a biddling too far away from the mic to get closer
• 26:27
  to the the the the minis. But I'm looking at the minis
• 26:30
  that I can see and I mean, they're hideous, don't get me
• 26:34
  wrong, but they're also great. And I just feel like the plush
• 26:38
  of the Squig is not communicating how great they
• 26:41
  are. It also doesn't look and it also
• 26:45
  doesn't look squishy enough. What I what I realize what I'm
• 26:48
  wanting. I'm wanting a squishmallow
• 26:49
  squig. Yes, that would be delightful.
• 26:52
  So that's what the moon does to Squigs.
• 26:56
  Also, I'm about to mention now that this is going to be a long
• 27:00
  episode because goblins. That's goblins.
• 27:03
  They're my fave and they're great and there's a lot of them
• 27:06
  and there's a lot to say about them.
• 27:09
  So if you're listening to this part, there's the part where we
• 27:11
  are going to those in the know, we're going to talk about Moon
• 27:13
  Clan and Spider Fang, and then in the next episode I'm planning
• 27:18
  on talking about Trogoths and Gitmob.
• 27:21
  None of that means anything to you yet.
• 27:22
  No, I'm never the one in the no. But yeah, so we're going to,
• 27:26
  we're going to focus on that for this episode, but I'm going to
• 27:29
  mention all of the. So there's a bunch of different
• 27:32
  like groups within Gits and I'm going to touch on them briefly
• 27:37
  even though we won't cover some of them until next episode
• 27:40
  because I want to give you kind of a baseline.
• 27:42
  Like I said, Gets isn't like 1 collective group.
• 27:44
  It's not like there's like a big council telling them what to do.
• 27:47
  It's just the collective term for everybody that's like
• 27:49
  affected by the bad mood. Basically are big kind of like
• 27:52
  cultural paradigms within gets. This isn't the same as
• 27:55
  individual clans. These are like broad like
• 27:58
  categorizations that they fall under.
• 28:00
  OK, which will have like many different like individual clans
• 28:03
  within them. Nice.
• 28:04
  The first of these in the largest by far is the Moon clan.
• 28:06
  Of course. Yes, Moon clan are the original.
• 28:11
  As far as we can tell. They lurk in the tunnels below
• 28:14
  and they are wholly committed to the grand project of, like,
• 28:17
  predicting where the moon is going to go.
• 28:19
  Oh, OK. Like that's there again, like
• 28:21
  the reason why with the bad moon shows up, you're likely to get
• 28:25
  goblins like accompanying it is because the moon clan is putting
• 28:28
  in the work to like read the portents and like with a yes,
• 28:35
  try to figure out where it's going to arrive next so they can
• 28:37
  be there or they can tell other kids in the area who can then be
• 28:40
  there. I appreciate the the community
• 28:45
  element of like if I can't make it, I'll make sure someone else
• 28:47
  does this is we do not hoard this knowledge.
• 28:52
  Nice. Only if they can't get there.
• 28:53
  To be fair, most promotion within get society happens to be
• 28:58
  a dead men's shoes, and you usually filled those dead men's
• 29:01
  shoes with a dead man by stabbing him to death.
• 29:03
  Like, it's not a yeah, it's not a kind like paradigm.
• 29:06
  No, but. But they're all gits better than
• 29:10
  the yeah. Moon clan are the ones who are
• 29:13
  specialized in like breeding squigs.
• 29:15
  So basically all squigs come from the moon clan.
• 29:19
  Squigs also don't like sunlight particularly well.
• 29:20
  They breed best in like cave environment so that's what it
• 29:23
  does. One of the other big like
• 29:25
  cultural groups amongst goblins is the spider Fang clans.
• 29:31
  Spider flang are great because they they split off from moon
• 29:36
  clan some time ago. The original spider fan clan is
• 29:41
  in Shayish the realm of death and they decided to live above
• 29:49
  ground in these like super like shade covered forest so still
• 29:52
  protects them from sunlight. They want to live above ground
• 29:54
  they want a different like hunting environment and stuff.
• 29:59
  And they basically what that leads them to do is basically we
• 30:03
  don't know if by accident or on purpose set up their like whole
• 30:07
  clan on Nefarada, the first vampires front pawn.
• 30:14
  Is Nefarada aware that there are goblins?
• 30:17
  Oh yes, it's hard not to be Yeah, OK, so they they said up
• 30:21
  there Nef like sends people to try and drive them out, but
• 30:25
  there's just like a ton of goblins and like it's not worth
• 30:28
  the effort basically. And so they just kind of like
• 30:30
  have this weird like non militarized zone between vampire
• 30:36
  land and goblin land for a little bit.
• 30:39
  And then Nephrata makes at some point Nephrata, I think during
• 30:43
  the age of chaos makes like a big push to drive the spider
• 30:47
  Fang out. So it's a bunch of her Knights
• 30:49
  and stuff. The way the goblins tell it.
• 30:51
  So in the in the force where spider Fang live, there are just
• 30:54
  these like giant spiders, like they're just an endemic species.
• 30:58
  What does? Endemic mean.
• 30:59
  I think it means like native, but I'm not actually sure and I
• 31:05
  should have looked at that. Before, no, but it does sound.
• 31:07
  I mean, that sounds right. It just occurred to me in the
• 31:09
  moment it's like, oh, I'm actually not sure what that word
• 31:10
  means. Yeah, regularly occurring within
• 31:14
  an area or community. Cool, native and restricted to a
• 31:17
  certain place. OK.
• 31:18
  Yeah, absolutely. They live in that forest.
• 31:20
  They don't like to go out of that forest.
• 31:22
  These like giant spiders. Good.
• 31:25
  Yeah, Hey, I'm glad those giant spiders don't like to go out of
• 31:28
  that forest. Yeah.
• 31:30
  I'd be unhappy if those giant spiders put webs over my
• 31:33
  cornfields. And so the the goblins of the
• 31:37
  spider fan clans have already started to develop this kind of
• 31:40
  like, cultural worship of these spiders, or at least like
• 31:44
  appreciation. Like you don't fuck with the
• 31:45
  spiders. They don't fuck with you.
• 31:47
  Except they do, because they're spiders.
• 31:50
  Goblins get caught in giant spider webs.
• 31:52
  It's the whole thing. And so some goblins have already
• 31:56
  started talking about like they still Revere the bad moon.
• 31:59
  But also maybe there's this like great spider God who weaved all
• 32:05
  the realms together and maybe this is what the spider fan
• 32:09
  clans believe. Maybe the bad moon isn't a moon.
• 32:13
  Maybe it's a really big spider egg.
• 32:16
  Neat. What a cool sigh gang.
• 32:23
  And one day the spider fan clan say one day it'll hatch and
• 32:29
  drown all the realms and spiders is how they.
• 32:34
  What a neat night. Cool, y'all are super fun to
• 32:38
  hang out with. I'm happy I came to the moon
• 32:41
  party with you. So Nephrotis sends like a rating
• 32:45
  party to drive out of the goblins.
• 32:46
  And the way the goblins tell it is that in their darkest moment,
• 32:50
  right on the like edge of defeat, cracks opened in the
• 32:56
  fabric of reality. And like, we're already dealing
• 33:00
  with like giant spiders, building sized spiders started
• 33:06
  pouring out of these huge fissures in space-time and
• 33:10
  started killing vampires. That didn't happen.
• 33:14
  It did. The goblins say that happened.
• 33:18
  What do the vampires say happened?
• 33:20
  Here's the thing. Oh shit, because that happened.
• 33:23
  It's just wasn't like a blessing is the thing like the goblins.
• 33:28
  And that's that's the foundational text of the spider
• 33:30
  fan clans from their like their population exploded.
• 33:32
  We have spider fan clans in like all the different realms now who
• 33:35
  all trace back to the central myth of the great like a
• 33:39
  Rachnarok. It Arachnon rocks really good.
• 33:45
  I wear skitter strands which is what those breed of like giant
• 33:49
  spider are called. Came out of the space between
• 33:53
  realms where they lurk and save. Saved the original spider Fang
• 34:01
  clan from Nephrata. What actually happened is that
• 34:06
  Skitter strand arachnarocks are ambush predators.
• 34:12
  They are trapdoor spiders whose trapdoors they whose trapdoors
• 34:17
  they make in the fabric of reality.
• 34:19
  They live in the space between realms.
• 34:25
  And So what actually happened is that a rack and rock spiders
• 34:28
  felt this huge fight like in the the threads of webbing they have
• 34:34
  crisscrossed around the fabric of reality and they went, ah, an
• 34:39
  excellent opportunity to hunt. And they weren't wrong.
• 34:43
  But also, wait, hold on. Fighting happens all the time.
• 34:47
  Yeah, Like all the time. Yeah.
• 34:48
  Do these spiders just show up all the time?
• 34:50
  Yes. What the fuck?
• 34:54
  There's not like a ton a ton of them.
• 34:57
  Like this was weird that so many showed up all at once.
• 34:59
  Yes. OK, yeah.
• 35:00
  And it's probably because Realm of Death.
• 35:02
  It's probably because like already a spider inhabited area.
• 35:05
  And it's probably because goblin worship.
• 35:08
  It probably is in part because the goblins like drew them to
• 35:10
  them through their like. Yeah, I mean, they have thread
• 35:13
  webs through the threading of reality all over the place, so
• 35:16
  sure. Yeah, it is not uncommon in like
• 35:18
  totally unrelated battles for just like, you know, some big
• 35:23
  Eli font of war gets injured or whatever and just like it's crew
• 35:28
  like leaves it by the sideline to go rejoin the fight and then
• 35:31
  you come back and it's just gone because a spider just like
• 35:35
  grabbed it and pulled into the space between the realms.
• 35:40
  Also, our 40K reference for the episode is that the space
• 35:42
  between the realms is called the Web Way because spiders, which
• 35:46
  is also thinking 40K but it's unrelated.
• 35:50
  Well, all of these things just also exist in 40K, but
• 35:53
  different. No, the web way is like an
• 35:55
  entirely different thing. It's just.
• 35:56
  Like the spiders do live there, no?
• 35:58
  No, no, it's totally underlay. In 40K, the web way is the like
• 36:03
  system that like space elves set up to travel faster than light.
• 36:08
  It just happens to be called the web way.
• 36:10
  In AOS it's the web way because that's a joke about 40K.
• 36:14
  We went like, what do we call this space where the
• 36:16
  interdimensional spiders live? Ha, it's.
• 36:19
  It's also the web way because spider references.
• 36:22
  That makes more sense than the elves calling it the web way.
• 36:26
  Correct. I don't know enough Forti Kailar
• 36:27
  to say why. Not Forti Kailar I guess.
• 36:31
  So that's that's spider Fang. Here's the kicker.
• 36:35
  Arachnaroc spiders, which is just what they've like all
• 36:37
  varieties of like giant giant spiders have come to be called
• 36:40
  in the here and after, are sentient.
• 36:44
  They have names, thoughts, feelings.
• 36:45
  So they're like, they're just like guys.
• 36:47
  They're big spider guys, yes. They have.
• 36:50
  Could you befriend 1? Certainly they have an alien
• 36:52
  intelligence where they're very like food motivated, right?
• 36:56
  Well, so is my dog, so it's. True, but yeah.
• 37:00
  They want elephant, OK. Yeah, the Spider Fang clans do
• 37:04
  not just like, worship these giant spiders and like, review
• 37:08
  these giant spiders. They are in partnership with
• 37:10
  these giant spiders. They're in league with the giant
• 37:13
  spiders. Yes OK, spider Fang more than
• 37:16
  any other like git like subgroup are like well, that's not true
• 37:21
  because git mob also when we talk about them, they like have
• 37:24
  a thing going on with another group.
• 37:26
  My, my expectation is that they're trying to emulate in
• 37:29
  some way the relationship they had with orcs where it's like,
• 37:31
  here's a big guy and he's not as smart as I am, but we're buddies
• 37:36
  and he punches things that want to hurt me nice and now he's a
• 37:39
  big spider and then. And that's cool.
• 37:42
  It makes me sad that they don't have their original friends
• 37:44
  anymore. Right?
• 37:45
  OK, big Spider's pretty cool. Yeah.
• 37:47
  And so those are spider fingquins.
• 37:49
  Arachnarocks come into the world.
• 37:51
  Some of them choose to stay. They lose their ability to like
• 37:54
  slip back into the web way and they become like different
• 37:57
  varieties of Arachnarocks. That we've got.
• 37:59
  The ones that'll like carry a bunch of goblins into battle, we
• 38:02
  have ones that like learn how to, they can't cast magic.
• 38:07
  They just like don't have the capability.
• 38:09
  But we get ones who learn how to like augment magic, Like they
• 38:12
  can channel their own like kind of arcane potential into like
• 38:16
  the goblins who like you'll have ones that are literally just
• 38:20
  like a partnership with a goblin wizard and that goblin wizard
• 38:22
  just like standing on their head, like using their arcane
• 38:26
  reservoir to also like cast spells.
• 38:30
  I like that. Yeah, it's neat.
• 38:32
  It's kind of like I said, they're they're a little bit
• 38:34
  symbiotic. It's like sharks and those like
• 38:36
  fish that cling. To them in their scraps, yeah.
• 38:39
  And in much the same. Way like the birds and the
• 38:41
  crocodiles. Yeah, exactly.
• 38:42
  And in much the same way. Like you're a rack and rock
• 38:44
  spider goes in, hunts an Ole font or whatever and drags it
• 38:46
  back and the goblins get some and it's good.
• 38:48
  Nice. OK it.
• 38:49
  Works out for everybody. Works out for everybody.
• 38:52
  Git mob are our last like goblin focused like a cultural group.
• 38:57
  Again, like many clans exist within all these, but this is
• 38:59
  kind of the like last big tradition.
• 39:01
  Umbrella. Yeah, when I talked about like
• 39:05
  goblins are cunning as a baseline, but some have started
• 39:09
  to be like in the more like Gorkish tradition since the
• 39:13
  split, that's Git Mob, Git Mob said.
• 39:16
  Actually it sucks that the sun hurts us.
• 39:20
  We're going to try and not, we're just going to like
• 39:23
  exposure therapy ourselves away from being hurt by sunlight.
• 39:27
  OK. And it.
• 39:28
  Doesn't work. No.
• 39:30
  Because that's not how that works.
• 39:32
  No, but they're real obstinate about it.
• 39:35
  Yeah, that makes sense. The original git mob literally
• 39:39
  moved to hish SO. They would just be in.
• 39:41
  Light all the time. Babes, yeah.
• 39:45
  They're they're more active because they have to be like on
• 39:48
  the move. Hitch is where like a luminous
• 39:50
  live and it's tough out there. So they largely abandoned the
• 39:56
  like cave living for like a very nomadic like lifestyle.
• 40:00
  So they can stay a field of like luminous encampments and like
• 40:03
  search parties and stuff. And the really cool thing about
• 40:06
  Git Mob is that they formed a symbiotic relationship not with
• 40:10
  giant spiders, but with big sentient wolves.
• 40:15
  Fuck yes, big sentient wolves. Look go the wolves are called
• 40:21
  snarl fangs and they're weird, like they're sentient, varying
• 40:28
  intelligence. Some of them seem to be like
• 40:31
  really smart dog all the way up to like capable of speech.
• 40:34
  It just seems to vary quite a bit.
• 40:37
  But like also they're poisonous. I guess they're venomous like
• 40:41
  they they bite you. And OK, OK.
• 40:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes more sense.
• 40:46
  They're venomous, and since they started working with Gitmob, the
• 40:49
  moon effects them as well. That's the other thing.
• 40:52
  Spiders like the giant spider varieties that work with the
• 40:55
  spider Fang. Their poisons get more deadly
• 40:58
  when they're under moonlight. Bad moon augments the wolves
• 41:05
  like reaction time. It gives them a little bit of
• 41:08
  like speed force adjacency almost.
• 41:11
  Fucking wild. Gitmob are great, but we're
• 41:14
  going to talk about more in the next episode because they're a
• 41:15
  big group. I don't want to try and cram
• 41:16
  them and Moon Clan into the same one.
• 41:18
  And they're going to share scene time with my favorite subgroup
• 41:21
  who aren't goblins. Yeah, they are Trogoths.
• 41:28
  And they are. Trogoth is the AOS word for a
• 41:30
  troll. They're.
• 41:32
  Trolls. Yeah, I love trolls.
• 41:33
  Trolls are my favorite fantasy creature, bar none.
• 41:36
  I. Didn't know this about you.
• 41:37
  Oh yeah, I, I if. You had asked me.
• 41:39
  I would have been like, yeah, Dalton loves orcs.
• 41:40
  Also true it's very close but I don't know why but for some
• 41:47
  reason like the the consistent. Name rhymes with Terry
• 41:49
  Pratchett. I mean, yeah, but like, that's a
• 41:53
  big part of it. Now that I thought about it for
• 41:56
  more than 15 seconds, I was like, wait, yeah, hold on.
• 42:01
  Yeah, yeah, it's. Definitely.
• 42:04
  I forgot for a minute Sergeant detritus exist in the world of
• 42:08
  literary fiction. It's definitely partially Sir
• 42:10
  Pratchett. It's also, I don't know why I
• 42:13
  think my favorite like fantasy ability that's like consistent
• 42:18
  across basically all portrayals of trolls is the ability to
• 42:21
  regenerate. Like it's wild.
• 42:24
  Is it really interesting to me that a creature would just have
• 42:26
  that as like an innate thing about itself?
• 42:28
  I don't know why I think that's neat.
• 42:29
  That's also why I like Wolverine.
• 42:31
  But trolls are great. They are sentient, but they
• 42:35
  don't need it that much, if that makes sense.
• 42:38
  Like, yeah, like a troll is capable of thought.
• 42:41
  They're capable of learning. They just usually don't need to.
• 42:44
  And so they don't. Like there's not like a troll
• 42:47
  education system because like most of a troll's needs are met
• 42:50
  just by doing what they can do in the immediate here and now.
• 42:54
  I guess, yeah. I mean, why not Maslow's
• 42:56
  hierarchy of needs? Those needs are being met
• 42:58
  entirely hierarchy. Yes, caveat, caveat.
• 43:03
  Maybe we'll talk about it more when we talk about trolls.
• 43:06
  Yeah. But there is the potential that
• 43:11
  it's all an act, which is a theory that has come up multiple
• 43:15
  times across different source of material, which I think is very
• 43:19
  funny if true. But we have, we have no idea.
• 43:21
  So moving on. Trucks are weird.
• 43:23
  They're weird in like a bunch of delightful ways that we're going
• 43:27
  to talk about later. They're very strongly associated
• 43:30
  with Moon Clan because they're also like a subterranean
• 43:32
  species. I mean, so generally what
• 43:34
  happens is like, Moon Clan goblins will like, Burrow into
• 43:38
  like a troll cave and just be like, hey, we we think the
• 43:43
  moon's going to show up over here and the trolls and go with
• 43:46
  them. Yeah, sure, man.
• 43:48
  I guess we're. Here now, moonlight makes trolls
• 43:50
  skin get tougher. It just makes them harder to
• 43:52
  hurt. Yeah, which I bet they're.
• 43:54
  Already pretty. Hard to hurt, yes, extremely so.
• 43:57
  It's possible stab a troll, but it takes practice.
• 44:00
  Most people don't get to practice more than once.
• 44:04
  And then squigs. We already talked about squigs.
• 44:06
  Barely sapien, balls of teeth and violence.
• 44:10
  Fully symbiotic with moon clan. Grats, it's great.
• 44:15
  So those are like our big subgroups.
• 44:18
  Those are represented both in lore and in like miniatures.
• 44:21
  Like if you were to set out to build and play a gloomspike gets
• 44:25
  army, you would behoove you to pick like one or two of those
• 44:28
  groups and like build around those.
• 44:31
  So you might have like a mostly moon clan force with like squigs
• 44:34
  and maybe some trongs. You might have like spider Fang
• 44:37
  and git mobs. You have your I'm a goblin with
• 44:39
  an animal friend like cohorts. Yeah, what I'm leaning to
• 44:47
  because I'm spiders make me uncomfortable.
• 44:50
  That's fair. That's fair.
• 44:51
  And Gitmob are very neat. So I have in my notes some of
• 44:55
  the the like theories about what the bad moon is.
• 44:58
  We already talked about the spider Fang one.
• 45:00
  That's a big spider egg. So probably not that.
• 45:02
  Probably not that, but who knows.
• 45:04
  Like we don't have a clear answer.
• 45:07
  Some Moon Clan Wizards think it is a repository of goblin souls.
• 45:13
  They think specifically because we know that like goblins
• 45:15
  reincarnate, like orcs do, they go back to the great green.
• 45:18
  They think that getting to be part of the bad moon is a
• 45:21
  reward. And they attribute it's like
• 45:25
  erraticness to every goblin, that it's made-up of having
• 45:28
  their hand on the wheel. So.
• 45:31
  So if you just have a 10,000 goblins all trying to make
• 45:35
  decisions about this rock, then yeah, it's going to do crazy
• 45:39
  shit. And it would make sense like why
• 45:41
  some people can see a goblin face on it and why it like seems
• 45:45
  to gain affinity for things that goblins get close to.
• 45:49
  But like we don't know for sure. Some goblins just think it used
• 45:55
  to be a normal rock. And then Gorkamarka and his
• 45:58
  infinite wisdom tried to eat it, but it was too tough and it he
• 46:03
  chipped one of his teeth off and the embedded tooth made it go
• 46:08
  quote Roy proper weird. If you chip a tooth first thing,
• 46:14
  you want to do ibuprofen for the sensitivity of the pain.
• 46:18
  Tylenol is not going to work. If you can't get in the dentist
• 46:22
  right away, you can get some dental wax and cover the sharp
• 46:24
  parts. Or if it's really bothering you,
• 46:27
  clean and reboard new nail file, smooth it down.
• 46:29
  Just the jagged thing isn't catching in your lip or your
• 46:31
  tongue or anything like that. That's what you do if you chip
• 46:34
  your tooth. Perfect.
• 46:36
  I work at a dentist. Office, this is my show.
• 46:38
  Hey, it's good dental advice you won't get on any other podcast.
• 46:42
  You can take up to 800 milligrams every six hours all
• 46:46
  time with 1000 milligrams of Tylenol.
• 46:47
  If you start to have swelling on the outside of your face, you
• 46:49
  want to want to go to the ER. Also, it's important that
• 46:53
  everyone listening to this podcast right now be aware that
• 46:57
  all goblins talk with British accents and you shall be aware.
• 46:59
  That this is not medical advice. Yeah, yeah, it's.
• 47:03
  Just for fun, Darian parroting a thing she says at work every day
• 47:07
  as a joke for me. Wait, what did you say?
• 47:10
  All goblins speak in British accents.
• 47:13
  You work as a for fun Dalton bit.
• 47:17
  No, it's true they they tend a little bit towards cockney, but
• 47:21
  it's because orcs also speak in British accents because the.
• 47:25
  Orcs tend towards. Is it also cockney?
• 47:27
  A little bit because the the original, like Warhammer Fantasy
• 47:31
  Orcs were supposed to be parodies of football.
• 47:33
  Hooligans you did tell me about. This, yeah.
• 47:36
  Hooligans. Oh my God, I'm pretty sure I was
• 47:37
  shocked then too. Yeah, so that that's the, you're
• 47:40
  picturing like this big burly guy.
• 47:42
  And instead of basing him off of like other stereotypes you could
• 47:45
  reach for, they've done themselves a great service by
• 47:47
  instead having him be like, oh, here, Arsenal's going to do well
• 47:51
  this year. Let's go on down to the pub and
• 47:52
  get a point. What is that team from Pokémon
• 47:57
  Team Yell? Yell.
• 47:58
  Yeah, I think we've had this conversation about Team Yell.
• 48:01
  They are just team yell. And so goblins are a little bit
• 48:05
  they're a little bit weedier. I love all of the it's set in
• 48:08
  the old world, but they came Total War, like Warhammer
• 48:11
  Fantasy has great voice acting for all of its goblins.
• 48:15
  Just the a Goldman knife. There's a guy, there's a guy,
• 48:23
  one from the old world, who when you click on him to do
• 48:26
  diplomacy, if you're playing at orcs, he's like, it's always
• 48:29
  nice to see a fellow green around.
• 48:33
  All right, boys getting nice. They're great.
• 48:38
  I love them. We're talking a little bit about
• 48:41
  goblin psychology. We talked about like orc
• 48:43
  psychology before, like the physiological need to break
• 48:46
  things where they start to like wither.
• 48:48
  Goblins also get that a little bit.
• 48:49
  But again, they are an aspect of Gork's or of Gorkmark is
• 48:53
  cunning. And so they're more compelled to
• 48:58
  like plan. They they they don't feel the
• 49:02
  need to. Yeah, they don't feel the need
• 49:06
  to, like, break stuff in the same way that an orc does, but
• 49:09
  they love seeing like systems fall apart.
• 49:12
  They love like tearing down like structures and like making it so
• 49:17
  that things don't quite work properly.
• 49:19
  That's also part of why it makes it hard for like Grots to work
• 49:23
  with each other a little bit. And I said the thing earlier
• 49:26
  about like Grots advancing via dead men shoes and how like they
• 49:32
  do tend to be a little bit like murdery of the hierarchy.
• 49:37
  And that is an expression of that Like if anyone goblin gets
• 49:42
  too powerful, they're leading the clan too.
• 49:43
  Well that just get that like kind of under the hood, like
• 49:47
  need to kick over that sandcastle, right?
• 49:51
  Like we need to disrupt the system.
• 49:53
  And yeah, like an interesting, a beneficial upside to that is
• 49:57
  that maybe now I'm in charge. But basically what it results in
• 50:01
  is this like if orcs feel that like inherent like thrill of
• 50:07
  like it's fun to kick a sandcastle over.
• 50:09
  It's fun to facial Lego project and then just push it over and
• 50:11
  watch it go. All goblins are all playing Game
• 50:16
  of Thrones all the time. And most of them are bad at it.
• 50:19
  And that's that's the they're they're looking for that kind of
• 50:22
  base thrill that you get from like like when you successfully
• 50:27
  like trick a friend at a board game, right?
• 50:29
  Like you're in a framing where it's not like a genuinely
• 50:31
  harmful lie. You're just getting that little
• 50:33
  like, oh, like I out clevered you a little bit in this moment.
• 50:38
  And that's. Like playing like werewolf for.
• 50:40
  Mom Yeah, exactly. And that is the thing that,
• 50:43
  like, fuels their destructive sensibility in the same way that
• 50:48
  orcs. Yeah, like that or physically
• 50:50
  fulfilling it. And so that and again, further
• 50:53
  leads to like the instability of like goblin clans and stuff.
• 50:56
  There's very much this kind of unspoken implication that if all
• 50:59
  the goblins didn't have that, they would rule the world by
• 51:03
  now, because there's just like a bajillion of them and they.
• 51:06
  Are and. They seem very clever.
• 51:07
  Yeah, they're clever. They're very.
• 51:08
  Smart. Yeah.
• 51:09
  Up with bigger, scarier things? Very.
• 51:12
  Easily. They're just their own worst
• 51:14
  enemy and that they don't keep 2 stuff very well.
• 51:17
  They're not good. They don't want, they want the
• 51:20
  novelty of something new a little bit, and they want to get
• 51:24
  that by expressing their kind of expressing their trickery.
• 51:29
  Interesting. It's insidious, yeah.
• 51:31
  It's in cities Goblin. I understand there are no non
• 51:35
  human storm bringers but goblin storm bringer first.
• 51:38
  Storm cast God, thank you. Goblin Storm cast first death.
• 51:43
  Part of their soul that goes missing is that peace.
• 51:45
  Oh yeah, that'd be neat. Stop being so xenophobic, Sigma,
• 51:52
  Make it happen. As much as goblins love that
• 51:55
  little like rush of like, oh I gotcha when doing it to each
• 51:59
  other, they adore it doing it to anyone else.
• 52:03
  Yeah, that makes sense. Especially anyone bigger.
• 52:07
  Oh, I was going to say bigger dudes.
• 52:09
  That's. Super fun.
• 52:10
  Huge part of the. Component.
• 52:12
  Yeah, absolutely. You're twice my size and I
• 52:15
  tricked you. I got you.
• 52:17
  I won the day because I'm smarter than you are.
• 52:21
  Like, that's huge for goblin. They love doing it to humans.
• 52:25
  Even dwarves are bigger than goblins.
• 52:27
  And they also tend to be like, like subterranean competition.
• 52:31
  Yes. Even like a lot of them still
• 52:33
  hold like a Fanny for like, orcs.
• 52:36
  But there are lots. They're just like, now that
• 52:38
  we're split, I'm going to be kind of the like petty acts in
• 52:41
  this relationship. And I'm going to keep collapsing
• 52:45
  tunnels under your war camps because you're big and strong
• 52:48
  and dumb. And I'm going to no.
• 52:50
  Notes. Exploit that.
• 52:51
  We'll talk about more in the ORC episode, but the group that they
• 52:55
  tend to hate the most are the Morkier Orcs.
• 52:58
  They're like more cunning orcs, I'm sure.
• 53:01
  Yeah, they're a lot harder to get one over.
• 53:03
  On they're harder to get one over on and it's quote unfair
• 53:06
  that you can be both big and cunning.
• 53:09
  Oh. Little.
• 53:13
  Goblets. They can be cunning, but they
• 53:16
  can't be big. No.
• 53:18
  I'm so sad now. I have in mind I wrote this
• 53:24
  line. I'm going to use it as all this
• 53:27
  results in Grots having the loyalty of a particularly
• 53:30
  treacherous flute fruit fly. Like they, they just don't, like
• 53:33
  I said, they, they want to, they want to kick the sandcastle over
• 53:36
  socially, politically like that. You have to be a enormous
• 53:41
  personality to hold power in like a goblin clan for more than
• 53:45
  a week, right? Because basically you have to do
• 53:48
  the like the Lord veterinary thing where every single person
• 53:51
  knows that you not being in charge would be worse for them
• 53:55
  immediately. And there are a couple of those
• 53:57
  people. We're going to talk about them.
• 53:59
  Later, we've mentioned it twice this episode casually.
• 54:02
  Like, if you like this podcast, you'll love Discworld.
• 54:04
  Yes, start on guards. Guards.
• 54:06
  Yeah, I think that's a good. Start.
• 54:08
  Yes, for sure. So yeah, let's get a little bit
• 54:12
  into the specifics of the clan, please.
• 54:14
  We're going to start with Moon Clan.
• 54:15
  They're the biggest one. They're probably going to be the
• 54:17
  focus for this episode. We'll probably squeak in like
• 54:19
  Spider Fang at the end of this one.
• 54:21
  And the next episode will be Troggs and Gitmob.
• 54:24
  But yeah, Moon Clan, like said, de facto specialists and
• 54:27
  charting and predicting the Moon's path.
• 54:29
  Largest group out of all of them because they were the originals
• 54:33
  and they tend to be the default. Right?
• 54:35
  Like you're a youth, you just woke up, you are already in a
• 54:38
  cave. You wander a little bit out of
• 54:40
  that cave and you find a guy in a robe and he goes here's a
• 54:43
  shovel. Your own squig pen shoveling
• 54:46
  dude. Moon Clan are the only group
• 54:49
  that tames and race squigs specifically because squigs do
• 54:54
  not get along with snare, fangs or spiders.
• 54:56
  No, I can't imagine. They don't get along well with
• 54:58
  anything if we're being. I don't think the giant spiders
• 55:02
  or the giant wolves would put up with the toothy meatballs.
• 55:06
  Those are snacks. I'm going to hand you the the
• 55:11
  tray now so you can I can kind of point to and you can look at
• 55:14
  specific types of Squigs. So we have our all of our
• 55:18
  different types of squigs. Our default squig are just
• 55:20
  called cave squigs. They are squig, they are small,
• 55:23
  they are funny and they are full of violence.
• 55:26
  Yeah, they are the the little ones right there.
• 55:28
  There's like a red and a yellow one.
• 55:29
  They fan of these guys? Yep.
• 55:31
  They're just little guys. You can see a squig herder
• 55:35
  behind them there. He's like holding symbols, I
• 55:37
  want to say, or a bagpipe. Yeah.
• 55:39
  Yep. When very rarely do you like
• 55:42
  normal cave Squigs are like marched out to fight anything
• 55:46
  with the models being marched out to fight.
• 55:47
  So that's why they have models. But when they do, you can't like
• 55:52
  command a unit of squigs, right? So instead you just get a couple
• 55:56
  of goblins to like have loud implements and just like direct
• 56:00
  them by like making loud noises and making them like move in
• 56:04
  that direction. And then if they run into a
• 56:06
  group of people, they'll probably shred them because
• 56:07
  they're squigs. Yeah.
• 56:10
  The next ones are Squig hoppers. Hoppers are bred to be mounts,
• 56:17
  so that's the one with the guys riding them up front there.
• 56:20
  Blue and red. Yeah, lots.
• 56:22
  Of teeth. Yes, they're a little bit
• 56:25
  bigger, but they're also bred to be lighter and have longer legs
• 56:29
  for jumping. They got a hop.
• 56:31
  In addition to that, before they are like sent out to a fight
• 56:36
  they are fed mushrooms that specifically make them like
• 56:40
  really gassy. Is that what this?
• 56:43
  Is, yeah. But Squigs?
• 56:44
  Well, no. That's just like a dynamic pose.
• 56:47
  Smoke Squigs can't burp. They can't get rid of that gas
• 56:51
  in any way. And so they make them gassy.
• 56:55
  Well, they make them float because they they they goblins
• 57:01
  have perfected the equilibrium. You need to make a squig just
• 57:04
  floaty enough that if you put a goblin on their back they can
• 57:07
  jump really high and still come back down.
• 57:11
  Incredible. That doesn't mean that it's like
• 57:13
  the goblin gets knocked off that squig is just floating away, but
• 57:18
  yeah, but yeah, however without a rider will just float away.
• 57:25
  But they offer like goblins on untold like mobility, even if
• 57:30
  they're hard to control. They tend to bounce a little bit
• 57:32
  when they like land instead of landing.
• 57:35
  Nice. Squigs are inherently dangerous,
• 57:38
  even to goblins, and so people who ride squig hoppers are
• 57:43
  usually divided into two groups. Most are collectively referred
• 57:46
  to as hoppers. That's the guy on the taller one
• 57:49
  on the blue squig. Yep, that's just any goblin who
• 57:54
  has a who is like on the back of a squig is a hopper, A goblin
• 58:00
  who has experience riding a hopper and can actually like
• 58:03
  direct them pretty well. And it has like adopted like
• 58:07
  weapons more befitting like a like a cavalry also like lance's
• 58:11
  and stuff. They're called bounders and they
• 58:14
  are given better equipment. You can see that guy's a little
• 58:16
  bit more heavily armored. He's a little bit more
• 58:19
  experienced. The long stick, the default
• 58:22
  amount of experience to be promoted to a bounder, is
• 58:26
  surviving one outing riding a hopper.
• 58:28
  That makes sense. Yeah, I understand.
• 58:30
  Because most grots don't. They're bad, not this.
• 58:34
  Is not really meant you. You designed them for this, but
• 58:37
  not like designed them for this. Yes, we have Snufflers who we've
• 58:41
  already mentioned. That's the unpainted guy right
• 58:44
  there. He's got a snuffle squig.
• 58:45
  Awful mode. Yep, I said bread.
• 58:49
  Bread with like big noses on their foreheads to sniff out
• 58:52
  prime mushrooms. Mushrooms.
• 58:55
  On is. Bad Yeah, goblins are uniquely
• 58:57
  good at like culturing mushrooms and stuff, but even they aren't
• 59:01
  like they there's varieties that are harder to find and stuff and
• 59:04
  so snufflers help with that. They also get marshed out to
• 59:06
  battle sometimes to, like, find mushrooms on the battlefield
• 59:10
  because goblin's mastery of like mushroom stuff means that often
• 59:16
  times if they find like good mushrooms on the battlefield,
• 59:18
  they can just like, hand those out in the moment to help with
• 59:21
  the fight. Yeah, nice.
• 59:23
  We have bat Squig. So I don't have here because I
• 59:26
  couldn't find my my rabble rouser.
• 59:29
  He's the one with bat squigs. But hope he's OK.
• 59:32
  Yeah, he's fine. I'm sure he's just in that case
• 59:34
  somewhere. But yeah, they're just Squigs
• 59:36
  with bat wings. They flap used for scouting
• 59:39
  sometimes and also as projectiles.
• 59:42
  I just point him at a guy and they fly over and bite him.
• 59:45
  Spore squigs emit dangerous mushroom spores.
• 59:49
  They can also be bred to just like release like a constant
• 59:51
  cloud of spores to like cloak other goblins.
• 59:55
  The guy with a big mushroom on his head there has a spore squig
• 59:58
  on the bottom of his base. He's a little to the left of the
• 1:00:02
  yeah, just a little bitty spore squig on his base.
• 1:00:07
  Yeah, this is. The one I want.
• 1:00:09
  I bet that you they're the ones you squish and.
• 1:00:12
  This horoscope, you just go Yep. I like that they all have moon.
• 1:00:18
  Yeah, right. Like Crescent moon and their
• 1:00:21
  armor on their like Helms in their weaponry.
• 1:00:25
  The guy with the mushroom on his head, If you look he's got like
• 1:00:29
  a little metal chin attachment meant to make his head more moon
• 1:00:33
  shaped. That's incredible.
• 1:00:34
  Right. Listen, never say they aren't
• 1:00:37
  committed. It's.
• 1:00:39
  A scorpion tail too. Yeah, I don't know why.
• 1:00:42
  Yeah. It's aesthetic, yeah.
• 1:00:45
  Bug stuff. Going for a vibe?
• 1:00:47
  We have Nasha Squigs who are like squig hunting dogs.
• 1:00:51
  They're a little bit better trained.
• 1:00:52
  They're bred up a little bit more for loyalty.
• 1:00:54
  That's Yep, you're holding them right there.
• 1:00:56
  He's got him on the end of the little like hunting harness
• 1:00:58
  there, so he can kind of direct him a little bit.
• 1:01:04
  They are very territorial and so they don't breed like a lot of
• 1:01:07
  gnash of squigs. They're usually exclusively kept
• 1:01:10
  in the employee of like goblins who specialize in squig care.
• 1:01:15
  That's what that guy. Is hey good job way to take care
• 1:01:18
  of the squigs and then. We're going to get into the big
• 1:01:21
  varieties. We have giant cave Squigs.
• 1:01:24
  Here's a fun fact, Squigs never stop growing.
• 1:01:27
  Just forever. So they're all giant cave squigs
• 1:01:30
  if they live long enough. Yes, just most don't because
• 1:01:33
  they're violent and they're not above like cannibalizing each
• 1:01:36
  other so that yes, that's a giant cave squig.
• 1:01:39
  That's just what happens to a cave squig if it lives long
• 1:01:42
  enough and particularly nutty goblins will try and ride giant
• 1:01:47
  cave squigs. That's why you're looking out
• 1:01:49
  there, right? He's just mostly teeth and he's
• 1:01:55
  schmoven they. All have these little like
• 1:01:59
  tails, but when they get too big the tail doesn't keep growing
• 1:02:02
  with the. Rest No it doesn't.
• 1:02:03
  And that's incredible. Usually the kind of like goblin
• 1:02:07
  who will ride a giant cave. Squig is like promoting up from
• 1:02:10
  bounders. They're just either they're like
• 1:02:12
  preternaturally lucky or they're like really good at riding
• 1:02:15
  squigs. And so they're just moving up to
• 1:02:17
  the next rank and now they are like instructing other goblins
• 1:02:20
  on how to ride squigs. Incredible.
• 1:02:23
  And then our biggest variety, Mangler Square.
• 1:02:26
  Mangler is a great term, right? This monster.
• 1:02:30
  Yep, that's our two buddies there.
• 1:02:33
  That's one of my favorite models in the entire cave because
• 1:02:36
  fucking look at it. It is great, right?
• 1:02:41
  So dynamic. Right.
• 1:02:43
  Also, there are a total of 4 goblins.
• 1:02:45
  Yes, and one is definitely about to fly off.
• 1:02:47
  Yep, he looks like he's tubing. He's 12 years old, he's tubing
• 1:02:52
  with his brothers and their dad is really trying to whip them
• 1:02:55
  off. Manglers are what happened
• 1:02:57
  specifically when hoppers get too big, the like ones that they
• 1:03:01
  breed for writing, if you let the manglers will just go right,
• 1:03:07
  they'll just destroy everything. And so if manglers start to get
• 1:03:11
  too big, if squeeze gets to get too big for they become
• 1:03:13
  manglers, goblins will just chain two of them together, give
• 1:03:18
  them a slap on the button, point them at something because they
• 1:03:20
  will destroy everything in their path and they'll probably get
• 1:03:22
  worn out and die. And you can't keep them around
• 1:03:25
  because they will destroy the entire cave system.
• 1:03:27
  So. This is the only option really.
• 1:03:29
  Just let them go out doing what they love.
• 1:03:33
  Sometimes a particular, it's notable that the guy on like the
• 1:03:37
  giant cave squig is like, OK, you're really good at riding
• 1:03:39
  squigs. So we're like, you're going to
• 1:03:41
  keep moving up the hierarchy to where you're riding like a giant
• 1:03:44
  cave squig. People who ride manglers aren't
• 1:03:48
  that. People who ride manglers are
• 1:03:50
  crazy because it is an instant death sentence.
• 1:03:55
  Like that's not going to go well for you.
• 1:03:58
  But like, if you are a goblin and you're aware, yes, yeah.
• 1:04:03
  And sometimes that just happens. Sometimes they don't die
• 1:04:05
  immediately when they ride ride manglers.
• 1:04:09
  And they start earning A reputation for being good at
• 1:04:12
  riding, Manglers Squeaks. I don't think that reputation
• 1:04:14
  lasts for very long. No, but it is the kind of thing
• 1:04:17
  that gets you a big enough personality to attract
• 1:04:20
  followers. There it is.
• 1:04:21
  We're not. Going to talk about him because
• 1:04:23
  he doesn't have a model in like our famous spaces area, but I am
• 1:04:26
  going to mention here one such goblin.
• 1:04:30
  We don't know his real name, but he is referred to as the
• 1:04:33
  Overbounder. Yeah, and he has the explicit
• 1:04:37
  goal of jumping over the bad moon to take its powers.
• 1:04:42
  This is a very goblin goal. No notes.
• 1:04:46
  He is so successful riding Manglish because he did manage
• 1:04:49
  to attract like a like minded cohort.
• 1:04:51
  They are called the Jaws of MORC.
• 1:04:53
  That makes sense. All the people crazy enough to
• 1:04:56
  ride Squigs to his end goal of jumping over the bad moon.
• 1:05:01
  He has employed various tactics, including breeding bigger and
• 1:05:05
  bouncier squigs, riding blindfolded so the moon can't
• 1:05:08
  see him coming, sending out groups in front to try and
• 1:05:12
  wrangle it back towards him, singing really loud so I can't
• 1:05:17
  hear him coming. Yeah, notably, we don't know
• 1:05:21
  what he's doing now because the last we saw of him, he did like
• 1:05:26
  have his mangler squigs jump really high and then just no one
• 1:05:29
  saw him come back down. I was going.
• 1:05:31
  To you know what, that's I thought you were going to say,
• 1:05:33
  you know what? And last time we saw him, he was
• 1:05:34
  in the process of going over the moon.
• 1:05:36
  We don't know if he landed it though.
• 1:05:37
  We don't know. Basically said that.
• 1:05:39
  I mean, he might have. Yeah, he's crazy.
• 1:05:44
  That's our, that's Squigs. That's Squigs.
• 1:05:46
  There's a bunch of them. They're great.
• 1:05:47
  They're silly. Their thing in game is that they
• 1:05:49
  have a random movement characteristic.
• 1:05:52
  So like most units move. Like oh this can move 4 inches
• 1:05:55
  on his turn, Squigs can move. Is this bottle snatcher?
• 1:05:59
  No, no, he is. We're actually going to talk
• 1:06:02
  about him here in a minute. These have a similar bent
• 1:06:05
  though. Yeah, yeah, of course we're so I
• 1:06:08
  can bring it back to it. Actually here.
• 1:06:09
  I don't want the cat. To knock it.
• 1:06:11
  Down we're going to talk about Wizards.
• 1:06:13
  Moon Moon Clan Wizards specifically because they are
• 1:06:17
  one of the more magically gifted.
• 1:06:18
  It's really them and Spider Fang are like the magic ones.
• 1:06:21
  That feels right. Yeah.
• 1:06:22
  Yeah, that feels right. To me, and they're Moon Clan
• 1:06:27
  Wizards are wholly dedicated to like, the wrangling of the moon
• 1:06:30
  and like mushroom amancy because yes, yes, the wrangling of the
• 1:06:37
  dank. Many goblins state that their
• 1:06:41
  explicit goal is to usher in the Everdank situation in which the
• 1:06:44
  Bad Moon's light shines over everything and goblins can be in
• 1:06:48
  ascendant. And to that end, they do the
• 1:06:53
  things that they do so. We all want what's best for our
• 1:06:55
  communities. Yeah, we talked a little bit
• 1:06:58
  about like the kind of big personality you have to have to,
• 1:07:00
  like, successfully lead a group of goblins for any amount of
• 1:07:02
  time. Most Wizards are smarter than
• 1:07:05
  that, so they just don't. No, yeah, we don't have a lot of
• 1:07:09
  like, I don't think, wizard leaders.
• 1:07:11
  Get to be a wizard. It takes more time than it would
• 1:07:15
  you would get if you were, you know, in charge.
• 1:07:17
  Yes, many goblins start the path in the Moon Clan, specifically
• 1:07:22
  start the path to wizardly wizardry, because they are also
• 1:07:25
  like oracles of the Bad Moon. They can sense where it's going,
• 1:07:28
  they can hear its voice, and so they pursue magic to better
• 1:07:31
  interpreted signs. I could just mention that guy.
• 1:07:34
  That's just a normal goblin. I'm just really admiring his
• 1:07:36
  shield that looks like the moon and his little like hand scythe
• 1:07:41
  that is looks like the moon and the charm on his hat that looks
• 1:07:44
  like the moon. I just am admiring this little
• 1:07:47
  little guy. He's awful and I love him.
• 1:07:49
  Man's got an aesthetic. I like that everyone has
• 1:07:53
  committed no one. No one's showing up from the
• 1:07:56
  cosplay group chat in the wrong. Outfits, yes, in the grand
• 1:08:01
  scheme of things, like on a, on a ranking of Wizards, goblins on
• 1:08:05
  the whole are better at magic than like ogres or orcs or kind
• 1:08:08
  of their cohorts in like the Gorka Marker Club, but not as
• 1:08:11
  good as like elves, right? And part of that circumstance,
• 1:08:14
  like no goblin is spending a millennia mastering and like the
• 1:08:18
  weave of the arcane. They are learning back alley
• 1:08:21
  magic from a guy named Dave in a weekend, and then they're going
• 1:08:25
  to go use that to full someone's head full of mushrooms, right.
• 1:08:30
  In game that's reflected by like, you'll have armies that
• 1:08:33
  bring like one wizard and that's all they need.
• 1:08:35
  And that's like an elf army or like sometimes like storm cast
• 1:08:39
  armies will have a wizard and that's all they need.
• 1:08:42
  And usually goblin armies have like 12.
• 1:08:43
  Yeah. And none of them are good.
• 1:08:47
  No, but they all know something different than the others.
• 1:08:49
  Yes. Our baseline wizard doesn't have
• 1:08:53
  a model anymore, and I never got one before they went out of
• 1:08:56
  Commission, but I mentioned them anyways.
• 1:08:57
  Madcap shamans. That's just the baseline.
• 1:08:59
  Like, you know, some magic. You're a madcap shaman?
• 1:09:03
  Yeah. Fungoing cave shamans are the up
• 1:09:05
  step from that. That's our buddy with the fungus
• 1:09:07
  hat. Yeah, except it's not a hat.
• 1:09:11
  That's his head. Oh, that's just his head.
• 1:09:13
  That's good. Yep, fungoing cave shamans
• 1:09:15
  commune with the bad moon and they have reached the conclusion
• 1:09:19
  that they will get the strongest connection to it by like
• 1:09:22
  integrating fungus into themselves.
• 1:09:25
  I. Guess it's fair the moon shows
• 1:09:26
  up and it brings. Yeah, or it sends fungus ahead
• 1:09:29
  when it's going to go somewhere, so it's not a crazy connection.
• 1:09:33
  They got their mushroom antennas tuned to bad moon frequency and
• 1:09:37
  they're they're jiving, they're happy fungus screws up their
• 1:09:40
  bodies. That's why they have like that
• 1:09:42
  thing that's a scorpion tail is actually his like holding his
• 1:09:45
  spine in. Place, Yeah.
• 1:09:46
  It's a prosthetic. He's got the big walking stick
• 1:09:50
  and the bug on the end of it who helps him, like, move.
• 1:09:54
  And he's got the sports Quig to cover his advance because he's
• 1:09:57
  not very fast and he can't, like, get out of the way of
• 1:09:59
  stuff. Very good.
• 1:09:59
  But he's much better at Magic as a result.
• 1:10:02
  Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
• 1:10:06
  And then we have my favorite. This is going to be the group of
• 1:10:09
  five back there with the guy with the bottles.
• 1:10:12
  That is a Gabapalooza. Gabapalooza.
• 1:10:17
  And no, there's a lot of kids who found out that they were
• 1:10:20
  conceived of Gobapalooza. Oh no.
• 1:10:24
  So. Not goblin kids, obviously.
• 1:10:26
  No, certainly. But, well, actually, yeah, no,
• 1:10:30
  probably a lot of you've swerk you conceived at gob after
• 1:10:33
  Gobapalooza. Gobapalooza is a like naturally
• 1:10:40
  occurring kind of like social structure within like goblin
• 1:10:47
  society. It's weird.
• 1:10:49
  It's like if you took goblins and put them in isolation and
• 1:10:52
  like some of them learn magic they would naturally fill the
• 1:10:55
  roles that gobipalooza does. There's just something like
• 1:10:58
  baked into like goblin wizard brain that any yes every clan
• 1:11:03
  has at least one gobipalooza, big ones will have many, and any
• 1:11:07
  leader with their salt uses the Palooza as advisors because they
• 1:11:12
  represent all of the facets of goblin society.
• 1:11:15
  OK, that's why. Yeah, talking about them each
• 1:11:19
  individually. We have our fungomancer.
• 1:11:22
  That's the guy riding a mushroom.
• 1:11:24
  Yeah, just clock that this man was riding a mushroom.
• 1:11:26
  Yep, Fungomancer says the deepest connection to growth in
• 1:11:29
  spores. They can encourage certain
• 1:11:31
  species to take root and discourage others that only the
• 1:11:35
  most beneficial ones are filling the caverns well.
• 1:11:39
  There's a little mushroom boat down by this walking mushrooms,
• 1:11:42
  but that's cute. Yep, they have a completely
• 1:11:45
  encyclopedic knowledge of all the realms mushrooms.
• 1:11:47
  It seems to just get like beamed into their brain and they are
• 1:11:51
  fuck nuts crazy. Yes, they're they're jousting.
• 1:11:59
  They are completely fucking crazy.
• 1:12:02
  Something about knowing too much about mushrooms just like drives
• 1:12:06
  them off the wall. But a weird outcropping of that
• 1:12:09
  is that they are also pretty magically potent, and so they do
• 1:12:13
  just tend to hallucinate all of those little mushroom creatures
• 1:12:17
  around. Them those.
• 1:12:18
  Are the those are the living dreams of that mushroom answer
• 1:12:22
  or Shumaman answer? They're.
• 1:12:24
  Not real, but they are real. They are real, like they they
• 1:12:27
  will. He's making them.
• 1:12:29
  Real. Yes.
• 1:12:29
  Yeah. If he dies, they disappear.
• 1:12:31
  But like, if you get too close, they will jab you because
• 1:12:33
  they're real in that sense. But he has no control over,
• 1:12:36
  like, them existing or like they're just manifesting.
• 1:12:39
  It's just his hallucination. Yeah.
• 1:12:42
  They're the dreams of a goblin obsessed with fungi.
• 1:12:46
  Of a fungi addled mind. Yes, OK.
• 1:12:49
  And so, yeah, they again cannot like he could not like walk into
• 1:12:53
  battle if he tried. He's just like too whacked out
• 1:12:55
  of it. So they usually, yeah, manifest
• 1:12:58
  those big like stock shrooms is what that's called.
• 1:13:01
  Stock Shroom. Yeah, he's stalking.
• 1:13:03
  I mean, no, no, no, I I did. Yes, yes.
• 1:13:08
  I was just sad to hear it out loud.
• 1:13:13
  Not marching, stalking and stalking is the worst verb of
• 1:13:17
  mushroom could be. True, we have our.
• 1:13:20
  Chasing actually would be a. Worse.
• 1:13:21
  Chase Shroom? Yeah.
• 1:13:22
  No, this room is stalking. That's upsetting.
• 1:13:25
  This room is chasing. That's worse.
• 1:13:28
  Yep. We have our two halves of Goblin
• 1:13:32
  Alchemy, OK Spiker and Brew Git. OK, Spiker has all the bottles
• 1:13:36
  on his back. Ohh I wasn't expecting.
• 1:13:38
  That yeah, and brew git is the one with the big like
• 1:13:41
  contraption strapped to like a tree branch.
• 1:13:44
  Ohh that makes sense. It's got like a cauldron that's.
• 1:13:46
  Brewing. Yeah, he's got a, he's got a
• 1:13:48
  boiler on his head. I do see that, which is very
• 1:13:51
  funny. He's got coals in it.
• 1:13:52
  They're. All crazy.
• 1:13:53
  Yep. It is unclear if this was always
• 1:13:55
  the case or if it was like a later development, but at some
• 1:13:57
  point goblins made the very wise decision to split like the
• 1:14:00
  branches of goblin alchemy into good for goblins and bad for
• 1:14:04
  goblins. So Brugit handles potions and
• 1:14:07
  like things that you want to drink if you're a goblin, and
• 1:14:09
  Spiker handles poisons. That's very smart for goblins to
• 1:14:14
  do. That.
• 1:14:14
  Specialties. Yeah, don't.
• 1:14:16
  Don't grab that bottle and drink it.
• 1:14:18
  Spikers carry. So spikers tend to test their
• 1:14:23
  poisons on themselves and undergo experimentations to make
• 1:14:27
  themselves hardier to their effects.
• 1:14:30
  So that's why that guy's a little bit spidery.
• 1:14:32
  He has a little too many limbs. Yeah, he does have.
• 1:14:36
  A little, but yeah, so they they happily like they they're a
• 1:14:40
  little bit like crossover with like spider Fang stuff because
• 1:14:43
  poison. But they are like technically
• 1:14:46
  considered like part of the moon clans.
• 1:14:48
  But yeah like I said, experimentation on self growing
• 1:14:50
  some extra limbs makes your potion work easier.
• 1:14:53
  Easy as that. Sure.
• 1:14:54
  Sure, sure, sure, sure. OK.
• 1:14:56
  Brew gits are constantly whipping up potions for their
• 1:14:59
  fellow grass to try their instrumental in like a couple of
• 1:15:02
  different facets of like moon clan warfare.
• 1:15:06
  Everything from strength to bravery to like making people
• 1:15:11
  explode all fall under like brew git.
• 1:15:14
  Their most sacred duty, though, is preparing hallucinogenic
• 1:15:17
  fungus brew which. I think that guy's already got
• 1:15:22
  it. Yeah, yeah, is something that
• 1:15:25
  when Palooza need to like appear on a battlefield for like
• 1:15:29
  wizardry stuff or to like help the troops with like potions or
• 1:15:32
  whatever, they will douse themselves in hallucinogenic
• 1:15:35
  fungus brew beforehand which gets them so fucked up.
• 1:15:39
  It like in nerds them to physical harm.
• 1:15:43
  Mechanically, how it works in game is that the first turn of a
• 1:15:46
  battle Galapalooza have a 50% chance to completely negate
• 1:15:49
  damage. Second turn of a battle, that's
• 1:15:51
  down to like a 60%. Third turn it's down to like an
• 1:15:54
  18% and then it's gone because that wears off over the course
• 1:15:58
  of the battle. That makes sense.
• 1:16:00
  Yeah. The guy standing on top of a
• 1:16:02
  squig skull with the big sun mask is a scaremonger.
• 1:16:07
  They're oral storytellers and motivators.
• 1:16:11
  I love that. Yeah.
• 1:16:13
  No, I'm a big fan of the Scaremonger.
• 1:16:15
  Yeah, And I love his little outfit.
• 1:16:18
  He's got the mass and the bells and it's got his like buddy
• 1:16:22
  running like spooky ambiance with the skull running
• 1:16:25
  underneath him. Wow, I really like this.
• 1:16:27
  One, you can picture the guy care in the skull, like doing a
• 1:16:30
  little dance and like the scaremongers like striking
• 1:16:32
  dramatic poses on top of the skull, right?
• 1:16:35
  It's great. Like I said, scaremongers
• 1:16:38
  recount all the tales of like goblin society.
• 1:16:41
  They're called scaremongers because most of them are about
• 1:16:42
  how everything's bad and it's hard for a goblin.
• 1:16:46
  But their most like ancient and important story is the tale of
• 1:16:51
  Glare Face Frazzle git Goblin's ancient enemy the Sun, who they
• 1:16:57
  call Glare Face Frazzle the. Sun Yeah, that makes sense.
• 1:17:02
  That does make sense. Their big one is usually like an
• 1:17:06
  origin story for squigs, like this tale of why squigs and
• 1:17:10
  goblins hang out. They say there was one, an
• 1:17:13
  ancient God beast named Boyngob, who found Hisch's light so
• 1:17:18
  aggravating, the attempt to leap at and destroy it, only to be
• 1:17:23
  charred to ash by its heat and light, his skull crashing into
• 1:17:27
  the ground. And so the skull, the squig
• 1:17:30
  skull that he rides, is meant to be like Effigy of Boyngob.
• 1:17:35
  Yeah. And so, yeah, that's why they're
• 1:17:38
  carried around on Squigg skulls. That's meant to be the origin of
• 1:17:41
  like. And so Squigs were forever,
• 1:17:43
  like, allied with goblins who could find cunning ways around,
• 1:17:47
  like, to bring down our ancient enemy, the sun.
• 1:17:50
  It's great. Finally, we got Bagalai.
• 1:17:54
  That's the guy with the staff, like, spitting smoke up there in
• 1:17:57
  the real big eyes. Yeah.
• 1:17:59
  A real big. Eye and.
• 1:18:02
  Just so real unhappy looking little dude.
• 1:18:05
  Yep, it's because he's hypnotized.
• 1:18:06
  There's two unhappy looking little dudes.
• 1:18:08
  Are they both hypnotized? Yes.
• 1:18:10
  Damn, Boggles are masters of suggestion.
• 1:18:13
  If Scaremonger is meant to be like motivating and like oral
• 1:18:17
  tradition, Boggle is the harsher side of control.
• 1:18:22
  Bagalize learned magic and psychological trickery to
• 1:18:24
  mesmerize goblins and non goblins alike.
• 1:18:27
  Many clans are led by bosses who are secretly mesmerized by their
• 1:18:32
  bagalai. Of course, of course no one
• 1:18:35
  knows it. Or they do know it and they
• 1:18:36
  don't care 'cause yeah, I'm. Just going about their day as
• 1:18:40
  long as they get to try to dismantle some sort of like
• 1:18:42
  societal construct. Yeah, there's one of the books
• 1:18:46
  about goblins that I quite like. The main character, like, makes
• 1:18:50
  a point of mentioning every time he's meeting with his palooza
• 1:18:53
  that he has to keep just, like, avoiding the gaze of his, like,
• 1:18:57
  Boggle like as he tries to just like, hey, boss, look over here.
• 1:19:03
  You want, you want to look at me while I was Tucker, you see?
• 1:19:05
  That look at me, I'm on a horse. But yeah, that's Gabapalooza.
• 1:19:13
  Like I said, any every clan has at least one.
• 1:19:15
  They just kind of naturally form as like goblins learn magic I
• 1:19:18
  think. That's so.
• 1:19:19
  Interesting and really like that is like a.
• 1:19:22
  World building cultural lore component.
• 1:19:24
  Yes. And then yeah, like big, big
• 1:19:26
  clans will have lots and lots. Yeah, the big biggest single
• 1:19:30
  clan we'll talk about a little bit later is 1.
• 1:19:33
  We're talking about our famous faces is the King's Gits.
• 1:19:38
  They operate out of scrap, a spill which is a big like old
• 1:19:43
  caradron like scrap yard basically.
• 1:19:46
  And they have hundreds of paloozas because it's just like
• 1:19:48
  a massive, massive complex of yeah gets.
• 1:19:52
  We'll talk about like non wizard moon clan real quick.
• 1:19:55
  I'm going to speed through these a little bit because they're
• 1:19:57
  just all kind of variations on a theme.
• 1:20:00
  Non wizard goblins tend to take on boss as an honorific.
• 1:20:05
  So we have loon bosses. That's our man standing on a
• 1:20:08
  mushroom with the big sickle up front.
• 1:20:11
  Yeah, there. He is.
• 1:20:13
  He's a loon boss. Oh, I really.
• 1:20:15
  I've been admiring his helm. Yeah, the helmet is very good.
• 1:20:19
  It's a total moon. Hell yeah.
• 1:20:21
  It's neat. Loon bosses.
• 1:20:25
  It's just any goblin who's tough enough, bossy enough, cunning
• 1:20:28
  enough for all of the above to command some amount of control.
• 1:20:31
  They don't tend to live very long because they're not usually
• 1:20:35
  like big enough personalities to prevent themselves getting OFT,
• 1:20:42
  but ones who want to dissuade betrayal or just like make a
• 1:20:45
  bigger name for themselves. That's so how you eventually end
• 1:20:47
  up with ones like riding squigs. The guy on The Cave squig is
• 1:20:50
  also a loon boss. He's just a loon boss riding a
• 1:20:53
  giant cave squig. And then you get him riding
• 1:20:56
  manglers for the same reason as well.
• 1:20:57
  Sometimes squig bosses are a bit weird.
• 1:21:01
  That's our buddy with the like Nasha Squig down there.
• 1:21:05
  Squig bosses also like squig bosses are the like weird bug
• 1:21:11
  kid of like goblins. Basically.
• 1:21:14
  Like goblins all appreciate squigs, but like you have to be
• 1:21:18
  weird to like like squigs as a goblin.
• 1:21:21
  Is kind of. Yeah, it's kind of the idea, but
• 1:21:24
  Squig bosses are like, no, Squigs are great and I'm going
• 1:21:27
  to show you all, I'm going to learn all of their like habits
• 1:21:30
  and weird mannerisms and I'm going to be real into them.
• 1:21:32
  Tell you all about Squigs every opportunity.
• 1:21:35
  Yes, Squig bosses learn all the mushrooms that like uniquely
• 1:21:38
  affect squigs and they carry them in like big pouches into
• 1:21:41
  battle. And so they'll just like run out
• 1:21:43
  in front of a like herd of squigs and toss out like a bunch
• 1:21:46
  of Crimson death caps or yellow lurkers or any of these like
• 1:21:50
  mushroom varieties. And when the squigs eat those,
• 1:21:52
  suddenly they're teeth are poisonous or they're they can
• 1:21:57
  run extra fast or like any number of like weird things.
• 1:22:01
  Like yeah, like I said, I couldn't find him before
• 1:22:04
  recording this, but rabble rouses are non Wizards, non
• 1:22:09
  bosses. Like they don't look for like
• 1:22:11
  leadership in the clan. They decided that their best way
• 1:22:15
  to stay alive is just to be helpful and non leadership waves
• 1:22:20
  and to yeah. And to that end, their strategy
• 1:22:22
  for commanding respect is to learn the settle art of
• 1:22:25
  directing monsters who accompany gets to war.
• 1:22:27
  So they are like monster wranglers, except instead of
• 1:22:31
  being like caretakers and like learning the insurance and outs
• 1:22:36
  and stuff, they mostly learn the settle art of taunting them
• 1:22:39
  mercilessly and then running away.
• 1:22:41
  You know what? That works.
• 1:22:44
  Too. That works too.
• 1:22:45
  That's why they called rabble rouses.
• 1:22:47
  That makes sense. It's they're good and then one
• 1:22:50
  last moon clan unit we're going to talk about who is very goblin
• 1:22:54
  Y it's that man with the ball and chain there.
• 1:22:57
  Yep, Yep, he's been coming with the.
• 1:23:00
  Ball and chain here. That is a fanatic.
• 1:23:05
  Imagine you're a goblin. Done.
• 1:23:07
  Just Yeah, you're corn. Filled with mushrooms.
• 1:23:11
  Yeah, you're small. You, I don't have any particular
• 1:23:16
  prospects. You have lived around other
• 1:23:20
  goblins all your life. You know, the life for a goblin
• 1:23:22
  can be British and short enough and there's not a lot of like,
• 1:23:26
  accomplishment in it. Got to marry well.
• 1:23:29
  I have very few prospects, but I have sorry, that's I've never
• 1:23:32
  used it. I have few prospects, but I have
• 1:23:33
  to marry well. My family's relying on me.
• 1:23:37
  I am the Elvis. This is my responsibility.
• 1:23:42
  I'll bring my sisters into society.
• 1:23:44
  OK? I'm done.
• 1:23:45
  I'm done. Tell me about this goblin with
• 1:23:46
  this great fucking spiky ball. Right so you you're just living
• 1:23:51
  your goblin life. You're down in the tunnels.
• 1:23:52
  Maybe you collected some cool mushrooms today and the brew get
• 1:23:57
  comes to you with a proposition. He says hey shaman says the bad
• 1:24:02
  moon's coming. We're going to make a move on
• 1:24:05
  like this settlement up a river, and I want to offer you the deal
• 1:24:11
  of a lifetime. You're small, you're weak.
• 1:24:15
  You could March out there with the other goblin masses, maybe
• 1:24:18
  get a good trick over on some humans and really like feel
• 1:24:23
  alive for a minute or two lost in the crowd.
• 1:24:28
  Or I can give you the fucking craziest concoction we have and
• 1:24:35
  make you feel like a bomb going off for that fight.
• 1:24:40
  Like I can make you Superman, but just for a little while.
• 1:24:48
  Is it better to live the life of quiet contemplation, fellow
• 1:24:53
  Grot, or do you want to be a hero?
• 1:24:58
  Long and silent are burn bright and fast.
• 1:25:01
  Come on, Goblin Achille, please take the bargain, Yeah.
• 1:25:05
  On the same page with Goblin Achilles.
• 1:25:09
  So goblins who take the deal get labeled fanatics because you'd
• 1:25:12
  have to be crazy. They get loaded up.
• 1:25:15
  Often take the deal. Not super often brew Brewster.
• 1:25:20
  Brugit, Brugit, thank you. Did you just go down the line
• 1:25:23
  and be like you won't make a deal?
• 1:25:25
  More or less Palooza tend to be tapped into the kind of like
• 1:25:29
  social realities of the clan. So maybe he picks out someone
• 1:25:32
  who's like, not feeling great about, like, their
• 1:25:34
  contributions, or he can tell us like, we'll take a deal of like,
• 1:25:38
  burn bright with me in this moment.
• 1:25:40
  Like. But basically you load a fanatic
• 1:25:44
  up on. I mean, it's meth.
• 1:25:47
  It's goblin meth. Yeah.
• 1:25:49
  Just makes them crazy and, like, violent and remarkably strong.
• 1:25:54
  That weight is probably 50 lbs, which is completely insane for
• 1:25:58
  like a human being a little out of goblin and they.
• 1:26:04
  Really good motion and it's got like the way it's like his body
• 1:26:09
  and hips are turning and 1 foot is like lower or back behind the
• 1:26:13
  foot that's actually in the air because it's following the
• 1:26:15
  momentum. Like this is a really, really
• 1:26:17
  good sculpt. It's one of the best kids.
• 1:26:19
  They come in a group of five and all of them are doing a
• 1:26:21
  different pose that's like, there's one who's like on his
• 1:26:23
  very tippy toes and you can tell he just barely has his finger
• 1:26:26
  still on his flail and he's like getting away from him.
• 1:26:29
  But yeah, like, they, they load you up with goblin meth.
• 1:26:32
  It has an immediate effect. So they immediately, like, tie
• 1:26:35
  you to a plank and they have like the rest of the foot
• 1:26:40
  goblins, like carry your plank into battle.
• 1:26:43
  And then when the time is right, they like cut you loose and give
• 1:26:47
  you a strong push toward the enemy and you mulch them, you
• 1:26:52
  turn you turn them into goo with your big flail.
• 1:26:55
  And you feel more alive than any goblin has ever felt because you
• 1:27:00
  are taking down people three times your size.
• 1:27:03
  And it's all through your own power.
• 1:27:04
  It's not trying kind of in cunning or trickery.
• 1:27:07
  It's just you. Yeah, I can see the appeal for
• 1:27:09
  that for the little goblin guys, right?
• 1:27:11
  Without any prospects, no balls to go to.
• 1:27:14
  Right, None. Everyone's already, Everyone's
• 1:27:19
  hand is already taken. The season is over.
• 1:27:23
  Yep, and you've got no offers. I'm going to talk about Spider
• 1:27:29
  Fang real quick just to wrap the episode.
• 1:27:31
  Spider Fang I. Don't have their models with me
• 1:27:32
  because if I'm being real, they're either old or huge.
• 1:27:36
  You've seen my Skitter. Strand, you do, in fact, have a
• 1:27:39
  spider that lives in the house now.
• 1:27:40
  Yeah, Yeah. And I like its colors.
• 1:27:43
  Yeah. I'm also a little upset about
• 1:27:46
  it. That's my Skitter strand.
• 1:27:48
  He real big because Arachnarocks are real big.
• 1:27:53
  Like I said, lived on Nephrata's front yard, all the different
• 1:27:59
  Skitter strands. They still live on Nephrata.
• 1:28:01
  'S front yard Nephrata now treats them like scary dog
• 1:28:04
  privilege where they just like maybe Canaries like a better
• 1:28:08
  metaphor where like they just live there and now they they
• 1:28:11
  have like the allegiance of the giant spiders.
• 1:28:13
  If someone if one of because like vampire politics is all
• 1:28:16
  betrayal and backstabbing. As well.
• 1:28:18
  If someone tries to make a move on Neferata's territory, they do
• 1:28:21
  just have to fight the crazy goblins in her front yard now,
• 1:28:24
  and usually that creates at least enough of a racket that
• 1:28:26
  she can also mount a defense if the goblins don't just take care
• 1:28:29
  of them. Right?
• 1:28:31
  Like. What?
• 1:28:32
  Listen, once fucking interdimensional spider show up
• 1:28:36
  and then pack bond with the goblins.
• 1:28:40
  I guess the goblins just get to live there now and you look for
• 1:28:43
  the silver lining. At least they're useful.
• 1:28:46
  I'm going to mention like 2 big a couple of like big names here.
• 1:28:53
  These are like different clans because I think they're kind of
• 1:28:55
  neat. Spider Fang have like a weird
• 1:28:56
  amount of lore for like how to represent that they are in
• 1:28:59
  models. Interesting that original spider
• 1:29:02
  Fang tribe in Nephrotis front yard are called the Grim Scuttle
• 1:29:04
  tribe. They rebranded since everybody
• 1:29:06
  started calling themselves a spider Fang now.
• 1:29:08
  Yeah, you do have to like establish some sort of like
• 1:29:11
  brand identity. They got Xeroxed.
• 1:29:16
  What about there? Yeah, that's just the whole
• 1:29:20
  thing with them now. They live in Neph's front yard.
• 1:29:22
  They're her early warning system that other vampires are trying
• 1:29:24
  to make a move on her territory. Great love that for her.
• 1:29:27
  Yep, we have the frazzle shun. I'm just.
• 1:29:30
  Picturing a bunch of like really violent ugly garden gnomes.
• 1:29:34
  Pretty much, yeah. We have the frazzle shun,
• 1:29:38
  frazzle shun. It's.
• 1:29:38
  Fun to say. These ones live in the like
• 1:29:41
  rocky cliffs and stuff of Hish, so they stay out of the light of
• 1:29:45
  Hish by living in these like deep canyons and stuff.
• 1:29:49
  But they do raids on luminous territory in Hish because
• 1:29:52
  they've developed a completely insane like technique for
• 1:29:56
  fighting luminous. So they have learned a way to
• 1:30:02
  like infuse the spiders they work alongside with like Olguz
• 1:30:07
  darkness magic. And so they take the silk that
• 1:30:12
  those spiders spin and they bundle it up into these huge
• 1:30:16
  like fishnets. And when they get into a fight
• 1:30:19
  with Luminous who are used to always having light or used to
• 1:30:22
  have always having like visibility and stuff.
• 1:30:25
  And know that like goblins are weaker and like direct light.
• 1:30:28
  Like a small company of Luminous will roll up to fight like a
• 1:30:32
  bigger group of goblins knowing that they have the upper hand
• 1:30:34
  because of light. And they will just like shoot
• 1:30:37
  this like spider web fishnet out of a catapult into the air where
• 1:30:43
  it will spread and suck all of the light out of.
• 1:30:46
  There, that's so scary. Oh my God.
• 1:30:50
  It's a huge nighttime fishnet bubble.
• 1:30:54
  That's the. Fuck wild.
• 1:30:56
  Incredible. And then they win because it's
• 1:30:58
  pitch dark now and they weren't expecting that.
• 1:31:02
  I mean, yeah, who's expecting that?
• 1:31:06
  And then similar to like the Overbounder who we mentioned
• 1:31:08
  before, I'm mentioning her here because she doesn't have a
• 1:31:10
  model, but she's noteworthy instead of her like famous
• 1:31:14
  faces, boss seven eyes. Boss Seven eyes.
• 1:31:18
  Yeah, she is a Ragnarok spider. Oh, OK, that.
• 1:31:23
  Makes sense because I was like Goblin.
• 1:31:26
  Yeah. Pronouns.
• 1:31:27
  Yeah. Not the same.
• 1:31:30
  Yes, as the others. OK, It's a spider.
• 1:31:32
  It's not a goblin. Yeah, fine, boss.
• 1:31:33
  Seven eyes. And that makes sense.
• 1:31:36
  She lost an eye. She lost an eye.
• 1:31:37
  Yeah, we don't know how. We don't know a ton about her,
• 1:31:40
  but I'm mentioning her because she's basically the only famous
• 1:31:42
  spider Fang character. She's a big spider.
• 1:31:46
  She is in a rack and rock who has specialized herself on
• 1:31:49
  hunting vampires. She pops out of the web way and
• 1:31:54
  she snatches vampires like almost exclusively to the extent
• 1:31:58
  that she is now a giant spider with a vampirism.
• 1:32:02
  I think I can guess how she lost one of those eyes.
• 1:32:05
  Yeah, it's probably to a vampire.
• 1:32:07
  Make it a guess. She's a vampire.
• 1:32:10
  Yeah, she is a giant spider vampire, which is wild because
• 1:32:13
  that's already basically what a spider.
• 1:32:18
  Is, yeah. Right.
• 1:32:20
  Fuck. Yeah.
• 1:32:21
  She's great. I'm a big fan.
• 1:32:23
  We we've been like, I've been thinking that we're getting her
• 1:32:27
  model for like ever. There's a tangent, yeah, but
• 1:32:30
  there's a the thing that Warhammer does called the the
• 1:32:34
  rumor Engine where they post like a hyper close up shot of
• 1:32:37
  models that they have in development.
• 1:32:40
  And it's meant to like Dr. Hype and like speculation stuff.
• 1:32:43
  Cool. The oldest currently unsolved
• 1:32:46
  rumor engine is literally just like a spider's face with one of
• 1:32:49
  his eyes gouged out. And it's like, that's boss Seven
• 1:32:52
  eyes. You can't tell me that's not
• 1:32:54
  Boss Seven Eyes. Yeah, we know one, we know two
• 1:32:57
  major characteristics about this character and this is half of
• 1:33:00
  them. Yeah, and that room, like the
• 1:33:02
  average time for a rumor engine is like a year and a half.
• 1:33:04
  That rumor engine has been unsolved.
• 1:33:06
  No comment for like 4 years. They just give up on it, they
• 1:33:11
  back off. Something had to have gone wrong
• 1:33:13
  in production or like something because like I can't.
• 1:33:16
  Believe they haven't released the giant spider with vampirism
• 1:33:19
  right? Right.
• 1:33:20
  That's feels like it's printing money, right?
• 1:33:22
  Who doesn't want to send a giant spider with vampirism under
• 1:33:25
  their like fantasy battlefield? Right, it kicks ass.
• 1:33:31
  But yeah, that's Moon Clan. That's Spider Fang.
• 1:33:34
  We're going to cut this episode here because it's already
• 1:33:36
  getting long and we're going to save Trogoths and git mob our
• 1:33:41
  wolf boys for next episode. It's going to be a 2 parter on
• 1:33:44
  the Gloomspike 2. Parter and really Dalton just
• 1:33:47
  wants some more time on goblins and you can listen to more
• 1:33:50
  goblin talk, which is very. Good, wrong.
• 1:33:53
  But in the meantime, thank you so much for joining us once
• 1:33:57
  again. I have, as always, been your
• 1:34:01
  glare face Shaman Doll Montgomery.
• 1:34:05
  And I'm Darian smart and Anna Green Gables was a really weird
• 1:34:07
  reference to make for this one. Bye.
• 1:34:11
  Take care.