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You ARE the Mom Your Kids Need · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a mom?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you struggle with frustration, anxiety, and self-doubt?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Is the day-to-day mundane sometimes a little overwhelming for you?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, don't worry.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You are not alone in this.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'd like to welcome you to the first episode of a special series specifically created with you and mine.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want to champion you to overcome the overwhelm of motherhood through faith, Enneagram, and simple plans.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to have you join me in this new series to learn how your personality weaknesses can become strengths and you can go from surviving to thriving in life and motherhood.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: In this first episode of the series, I'm going to explain the number one way that the Enneagram can empower you to be the mom your kids need.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll also dive into the three ways the Enneagram provides spiritual growth, and most importantly, why the Enneagram can be dangerous.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's discover today how to love your mothering style because you are the mom your kids need.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want you to miss out on something they've created just for you.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's the Enneagram Guidebook for Moms.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: It will help you understand your personality type, and you'll learn more about your superpowers, overcome your weaknesses, and you'll get simple steps to better connect with those you love.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can get your copy at simply wholehearted.com or just follow the link in the show notes.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name is Amy Wiggs, and I help you navigate the overwhelm and frustration of motherhood through faith, Enneagram, and simple plans.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: As a faith-based Enneagram coach, I champion you to love your mothering style because you are the mom your kids need, even when you don't feel like it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest, overwhelmed and frustrated by motherhood.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn the challenges of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my self-awareness, and my family.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode of this podcast provides perspective through story, wholehearted purpose, and simple plan so you can discover how to love your mothering style and be confident that you are the mom your kids need.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to be encouraged and empowered while you listen.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, as some of you might know, we got a new fur baby back in December of 2019.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And while it took us forever to decide that we were ready for a puppy, it was finally time.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: We really, though, didn't know how much we would come to appreciate this new puppy until 2020 happened.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm pretty sure you all get what I'm saying.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Really, I have this puppy to credit for helping keep the quarantine 15 off because of all the walks.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And praise the Lord that she provided lots of entertainment throughout this last year.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for you to get a puppy because there's been plenty of frustrations.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you have littles, it is not time because the housebreaking and the chewing of glasses and eating my running shoes, well, yeah, there's a lot of frustrations.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it is like having another child.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But all in all, she has been a delight.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And now, thankfully, that some of the rhythms in our life are inching their way back to normal.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And notice I'm saying inching.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: You probably all feel that way.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: But what did stay that we really came to appreciate back in 2020 is the walks that we took with her.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we even take, or at least I am taking, up to three walks a day.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, they're like 10 to 12 minute walks.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking like 30-minute walks, but it has been a habit that I've enjoyed keeping in my day.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And what's really great is sometimes these walks are the perfect alone time to pray, to catch up on my boxer, maybe listen to a podcast, an audiobook.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been really wonderful.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I have been trying to implement a new rhythm, really this last school year, started this last fall, was I would use the afternoon walking time with inviting a member of the family, like one of my kids, or if my husband gets home from work early.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like mini dates.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I get to hear about their day.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're, you know, if I'm just taking one kid, then they get alone from the rest of the pack.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, the conversations they go a little deeper.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I've had a lot of really profound conversations.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's been pretty awesome.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: There'll definitely be some things that I share here in the future.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the other night, uh, Miles was the one to accompany uh to accompany me on a walk that was a little bit later than normal.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Normally I wait, um, I don't wait until after dark.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we do it before dinner and before it gets dark out and everything.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: But this time it was dark, like really dark.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think we were getting a storm and, you know, there was like not, you know, just barely the street lights were on.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I did bring my phone in case we would need the flashlight to shine a light on the pathway to make sure we didn't step in a big hole or other construction hazard because there is a lot of work being done right now in our neighborhood.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's a mess.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it I'm looking forward to when it's all cleaned up and my walks are a little bit, I don't know, cleaner.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it was colder.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is winter time here, and um we were hoping this walk was going to be a little shorter than normal, but we knew we couldn't turn around and go back to the warm house until our puppy, who is really no longer a puppy, um, until she did her business, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: So finally we get to like, I don't know, it was a half mile away, and she found the darkest area of the street corner.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And Miles and I just stood there shivering as we waited patiently for her to do her business.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And thankfully, Miles, as a 10-year-old boy, was a com law enough and he took the poop bag to pick up her business because, well, it would be really rude to just leave it there, right?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's someone else's yard, someone else might step in it or another dog might get into it.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's gross, right?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the problem was is we could not find the pile that she just made.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: We couldn't find it anywhere, and we knew we needed to clean it up.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it was dark.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And while most of the snow had already melted, um, there was a lot of dead leaves that were in the grass and it camouflaged what we needed to clean up.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not the first time that this thing has happened where we couldn't find what we need to clean up because sometimes I have spent, I'm not kidding, five minutes, and I look like the crazy lady on the side of the road.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm wanting to make sure I clean up what I need to.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: But then Miles got smart, right?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, um, Mom, would you turn on the flashlight, please?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, as soon as I turned on the flashlight and the beam, you know, shining off the leaves, finally highlighted what we needed to pick up and clean up.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the funny thing is, and I know sometimes my mind works in ways that I don't totally understand, but I started thinking as we were heading back to our nice cozy warm house and, you know, the fire in the stove, um, that this, this whole light thing, this is how the Enneagram helps us be the mom our kids need.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because the number one way to love your mothering style and believe that you are the mom for the job is to be proactive in your spiritual growth.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the Enneagram puts you on the spiritual growth fast track by shining a light on the stuff that we would rather ignore.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we can be aware and then we can get some help to clean up the poop.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you tracking with me?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do you like poop, right?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do you like to clean it up?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't, and I'm sure you don't either.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But listen, friend, it is necessary and it's really unkind to others if we don't clean it up and if we don't take care of our stuff.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sometimes we do need to get help from others to clean up the poop.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just between you and the Lord.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as I share this, I really hope that the Lord um like is laughing with me as I equate spiritual health to dog poop.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's offensive, but um I'd like to think it's just a down-to-earth way to illustrate how the Enneagram can empower you to be the mom your kids need and to help you believe that you are the mom for the job and to love being a mom.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's a key thing I want you to love being a mom.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you might want some more details, right?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: How exactly does the Enneagram do this?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to keep it all in context, remember the Enneagram provides you a template for how you are motivated.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It explains your core fears, your desires, and what I like to call superpowers.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: It also helps to explain the unique way you see and view the world.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not what you do, but why you do what you do.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And can I get an amen for those who want to know why they get frustrated at the weirdest times and things overwhelm them that they can't really explain that didn't overwhelm them yesterday, but it overwhelms them today?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the three ways the Enneagram helps your spiritual growth is number one, it provides you insight.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but sometimes I need someone else to help me articulate my needs, my wants, and my desires.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And the Enneagram provides language to do that.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Second, or number two, right?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just like the flashlight, I'm laughing at this because there's some irony here for me, but track with me, all right?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Stay with me.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, just like the flashlight I used to find the dog poop pile.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the Enneagram highlights warning signs.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't step in it and you can self-correct and get help to clean up the poop piles in your life.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're laughing with me, but I think you understand what I'm getting to.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, the Enneagram helps you celebrate.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the part I like the most.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram does remind you of your stuff that you need to take care of and to clean up, but it also can help you celebrate your strengths, not only in yourself, but the people around you, like your kids and your spouse and your friends.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And a little caveat here.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I won't dive deep into this topic today, but you should know and keep in mind that your specific Enneagram type, well, it's really a mask.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So your goal of determining your type is to remove that mask and become more and become free of what God has created you to be and called you to be.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: But today we're gonna focus on how the Enneagram helps you experience change, even if it means you have to lose or take off the old in order to achieve the growth that you desire.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it means shining a light on nasty stuff that we'd rather not see, but that we really need to take care of.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal: true soul growth is intentional.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not soul growth is not just about attending church every week or serving in the nursery on Sunday or even taking meals to those in need, which those are great things, but they're just spiritual practices that bring comfort and help to the body of Christ.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's being the hands and the feet of Jesus.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: But soul growth, soul growth is personal, it's inner transformation.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Soul growth is when something old falls away out of your control through the power of the Trinity, and you begin to walk in new life mindsets and understanding, and that helps you grow.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Soul growth actually plays into how you hear from God and keep the work of God and your spiritual practices sustainable.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: If the inner transformation is happening, then being the hands and feet of Jesus is just exhausting and it's tiring.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you're giving out of yourself, you're not giving out of the well that never runs dry, the the well that the Lord wants you to drink from.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: The big thing is that on this side of heaven, you have had to face and sometimes do things that your soul could not deal with.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this has caused you to lose touch with yourself and you you live out of excess and you work harder and you do these things to try to keep up.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And our culture, it blatantly encourages you to keep striving and to work out of yourself instead of out of the source.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So not only does the Enneagram provide a resource to help with personal transformation, but it also gives knowledge to improve your relationships, specifically motherhood.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if you work with a faith-based coach like me to help you guide you through the steps, you'll begin to identify your unique triggers and your mental roadblocks.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll apply scripture and action steps.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And this will help you bring healing to your self-hatred, your frustration, and your anxiety.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I want to be free of those things.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I want to walk in healing and I want to walk in truth.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you apply this knowledge and your understanding about how your children are wired and how their Enneagram types are masking who they truly are, well, it does provide a newfound compassion and connection with them.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you, it has radically changed how I interact with my kids.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: It is fantastic.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you combine the understanding of the Enneagram within the framework of relationships, you begin to not only tolerate the differences, which, you know, there are a lot of differences, but you begin to be able to celebrate them and to acknowledge them and hold them in light as just differences in personality as they are.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm pretty sure that you want more of that in your life.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: But before I go any further, you should know what is dangerous about the Enneagram.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, there's some dangers, and it's important for you to know and be aware before we go any further.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: First, I think if you take the Enneagram more than it is, and it's just a tool of wisdom, it could potentially be harmful.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the deal.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not wholeness, it's not salvation, only Christ is.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need the Enneagram, but you do need Jesus.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Second, while the Enneagram shines a light on where you fall short, it is not the source of wholeness.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, right?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: In Christ alone, our shortcomings are made whole.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Spiritual transformation is a gift to help you journey from living in a constant state of brokenness to a thriving, wholehearted life in Christ.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And third, if you use the information that you've learned about the Enneagram and about yourself, and you do nothing with it, or you just continue to wear the mask that you've identified with, that is not going to bring the health and the life that you want.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know so many who just buy the t-shirt and find familiar types out there and they use it as a crutch or an excuse for their behavior.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: That is not the point.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because as much as I desire you to discover your dominant Enneagram type, or I like to say the type you lead with, I want you to realize that finding your number is just the very beginning, not the final destination.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And let me say that again for my friend in the back.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Discovering the type you lead with is just the beginning, not the final destination.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, as your faith-based Enneagram coach, I want you to ask yourself, what is currently the most challenging aspect of your motherhood?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: What would you like to see change?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I know you want the baby to sleep through the night, you want to get through the potty training, and you want your kid to eat the food that you put in front of them, right?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: But what's at the root of that?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Why do those things bother you so much?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are you afraid of?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: What's really triggering you in the moment?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: What are your motivations behind seeing these things happen in your life?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to know, are you as excited as I am about this series?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I have so much good content with you that I'm so excited to share.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I really am thrilled to have you on this journey.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I like to know what to expect when I go on a journey.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: So let me give you some specifics.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: This special series is going to be airing every Monday.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: It'll have a focused Enneagram topic with action steps to help you thrive in your motherhood.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And for my faithful podcast friends, you can still expect stellar interviews throughout the season and going into the fifth year of the podcast.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: I really have some amazing conversations headed your way, along with a special episode to celebrate the fourth year anniversary of the podcast.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe it.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if this is your first time jumping into faith-based Enneagram talk or Enneagram as it relates to your motherhood, you might want to check out a series that I created for you last fall, uh, fall of 2020.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a series called Should Christians Use the Enneagram.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: This lays out a little more on the history and the origins of the Enneagram.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're a little nervous if the Enneagram is right for you, or you know, you want to know maybe more of what it could do for you.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Those episodes are episode 158, 159, and 160.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can find them on the listening platform that you have found this podcast on today, but I'll also put links in the show notes so you can find them quickly and easily.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And friends, don't keep this good thing to yourself.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is amazing.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: All the moms out there need to hear this good news.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to share this special series with your friends so they can experience a freedom right along with you.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I imagine you'll want to be talking about some of these topics with them.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you are the mom your kids need.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for the wholehearted life you desire.