Latest / The Hack Box / Ranch is a Parasite? (HATE TAKE #001 from Ep. 115)
Transcript
- JRD: First of all, this is my Haterade! I can pick and choose! What do you mean? What do you mean? Don: Can. I guess so, I guess you can. You got some hay watch? Brev: All right, well, JRD: Yeah, Brev: yeah, we got a new segment. JRD: J.D. explain the segment, you know? Don: hey, take basically get your little time to explain something that you really ultimately despise, bro. Like you do not like and it can just be something for you. Like you're not trying to prove that point to nobody. You're not trying to encourage anyone else to hate this. This is just how you feel about it. Like for instance, I cannot stand the fucking Lakers. I hate also hate peanut butter. Peanut butter is something that usually people typically like. People typically like the Lakers. But I Brev: discussing. Don: hate these things and I can explain how much I hate, but I don't need to have you come and join the hate 'cause I got enough hate for it. I don't need you there Brev: Ha! Don: to do with me. You what I JRD: Yeah. Alright, Don: So judge. JRD: being sad, let me say it. I hate how much people love ranch. I hate the use of ranch. I hate when people eat ranch in front of me. It pisses me off. I hate ranch. There is nothing people add on ranch that can't be substituted. Ranch isn't needed. ranch is kind of it's honestly a parasite when it comes to food they're putting it on pizza Don: Ha ha. JRD: putting it on wings that already have sauce i hate ranch and i also hate how much people love ranch i can't have a good like shut up you're a grown ass man and you telling me you can't eat a buffalo wing with awesome ranch what's a ranch As against to the point that I people don't like food, they just like ranch and they need a catalyst to consume the ranch because drinking it will be disgusting. Don: Ha ha ha. Brev: Yeah. JRD: I also hate how they go, this wing salt ranch is better than this ranch. Good ranch, bad ranch. Bro. Majority of the world doesn't even have that shit. If it was so crazy, it would have spread it, like all other good things. Everyone got barbecue sauce. That's what I have to say. Don: Wait, who don't use ranch? What countries don't use ranch? JRD: Every other country except for America. Brev: I don't think it's big in other countries. JRD: Only America uses ranch. Don: Is this facts or JRD: This is facts. You don't... Brev: Remember when all those people came over for the World Cup and they were loving ranch. They're bringing ranch back with them and shit. Yeah, they loved it. They were bringing shit back with them. Yeah. Yeah. Don: they were talking about ranch. But they were talking about how much how good it was or how nasty it was. They loved it, right? The foreign concept. JRD: Yes, man. Of course, of course, of course, course, if you're eating fucking beans and toast, you get some flavor you're gonna go crazy for. Don: All right, bro. It everyone coming out here was not just eating straight beans and toasts, bruh. JRD: People, people, it was only, it was only the UK people. The Spaniards, the Japanese, the Argentinians weren't talking about how good it was. It was just the people from the UK. Cause ranch is the mid. It's one Don: Mid JRD: of the worst, like, specialty sauces out there. When I mean specialty sauces, it's not part of the big family. know like ketchup, barbecue sauce, mustard, hot sauce. Don: Side note, if anyone knows about sauce, it's this guy. He knows about his food. JRD: I do hate, yeah I'm just saying, yeah whatever. I hate ranch. Brev: Well said it was mid so you must think it's alright. JRD: No, it's disgusting. I- I- But, Don: So JRD: I'm being realistic. If a lot of people like it, and it was disgusting, then it has to be mid. For example, Canes. Canes isn't seasoned chicken. I ate it a few times. I eat Canes. But, when people say it's disgusting, I'm like, bro, like, it's a billion dollar company. can't be disgusting. You can say it's mid. Like, you know? But you can't call it disgusting. Salad and pizza! People- yeah, Salad and pizza's disgusting. can be disgusting. There's salmon limits everywhere. Hell, let me be eating pizza. Yes, I know it's because it's cheap, it's accessible, all that stuff. But if it was disgusting, super unpalatable, nobody would eat it. Don: That's not true. There's a lot of disgusting things and Brev: Yeah. Don: that's only subjective to whoever's eating it. But you you would you don't like JRD: To you. There's something super disgusting I know what it is. Don: you don't like carrots in ranch? You ever tried that? JRD: I like cares about myself. Don: Have you tried Cares and Ranch? JRD: No. Don: Okay. Well I'm just I'm I'm gonna list a couple of things that you use ranch with and I'm just wanna know if you tried it or not. JRD: Okay. Don: Have you tried? Brev: You don't eat the veggies on the wing plate, huh? JRD: He ate the veg, ate slowly by itself, nigga. ha ha. Don: Course not, look at him. Kind of question is that, bro? Look at that guy. So you don't eat celery celery ranch? Never tried that? JRD: I used to sell it by myself. I like to sell it with peanut butter and raisins as on the log. Yes. Yes. Don: Okay, but have you tried it have you tried to wear a ranch? No? You have? You do you like you didn't like it? JRD: Disgusting, disgusting. Horrible. Don: Well peace unwrench. You tried that? JRD: Yes. Don: You didn't like that? JRD: I will say this. had some someone told me to dip the crust. was that pizza my heart. Dipped it in there, took a bite. It was alright. That was the only time ranch was alright. But even then I was like bah. Don: wrenching and wings? JRD: Fuck no, I would never waste the wing and put it in a ranch. I have been forced Don: So you haven't tried that? Brev: So do you like blue cheese? JRD: to. Don: And you don't like it? JRD: I don't like it. You know what? You know what? You know what? I'm Don: I think barbecue sauce and ranch mixture is very, very, very good. JRD: gonna take it a step further. You don't need dipping sauces for the most part, I'm gonna take it a step further. This sauce shit, it's sauces in general, honestly. I just had a rant because I didn't want it to seem crazy, but it's sauces in general. Now why do you need like, I you a dipping thing with your food. Why? Like, I get like chicken nuggets, barbecue sauce, mainly, but that's the whole thing. Like me, when I get a burger, cheese, Don: You eat that shit dry? JRD: cheese, some bacon, an onion, lettuce, good to go. I might get some light spread Don: You just choking on meat, bruh. JRD: at In-N-Out, but that's about it. What I can eat sauce for? Talking about, it's dry. You want your food wet? You want a wet burger? Yuck, Don: Yes, yes. JRD: yuck, yuck. Brev: Juicy burger, bruh. JRD: It's juicy. The sauce Don: You rather just choke on me. JRD: don't make it juicy. That's the meat. Brev: makes it juicier. JRD: No, it does not. Sauce does not make it juicier. Brev: Mm. JRD: ignorant ignorant Brev: seem like it. JRD: Bro Yes, by you way, this is supposed to be just me explaining why I hate something or supposed to move on but I guess We'll try that next next episode Don: Well, we still can discuss based off what you said. Brev: So, well, yeah, JRD: we're still in the sky? Brev: so do you like blue cheese? JRD: Okay. Fuck no. Brev: You like ketchup? JRD: Blue cheese dressing or blue cheese crumble? Brev: dressing. JRD: No. Brev: Cause I'm not mad at like when you say like, you don't really need dipping sauce for the wings because all the wings come in sauce anyways. I get that. So your beef is just with dipping sauces though. JRD: Exactly. Yeah, like when people get like Don: Yeah, that's pretty clean. JRD: Yeah, like when you get mango habanero and you still I need a ranch it's like bro you taste you taste buds can't taste all that Don: It's a can, bro. It's just a mixture of the flavors. How you gonna tell? How you gonna tell? You got JRD: It doesn't it doesn't it does not it not Science science that's how I can tell science Don: So what's the difference between you adding all that extra shit on your burger, bro? I feel like JRD: What do mean? Don: that's a lot. You adding tomatoes, lettuce, the patty, cheese. I'm just saying in general, in general. JRD: I didn't say tomatoes. I didn't break that down. I got you. Brev: What's the difference? JRD: I got you. Okay, well. When it comes to cheese, lettuce, off the bat, it different textures. know? A lettuce is crispy. You know I'm saying? Cheese has a different texture than the meat. Sauce for the most part. Don: So also the different texture from all that. JRD: No, all the sauces have the same texture for the most part. Stop it. You're gonna eat the mango habanero sauce? Don: as of each other, but not as Brev: No, yeah. Yeah. Don: the meat and the lettuce and the tomatoes. What? JRD: Again, again, I said dipping sauces. I don't like ketchup, but if want to put ketchup on your burger, I'm not mad at it. I'm gonna A-do you, bro. Sometimes I A-mad at my chicken sandwich. But if you want to put sauce on your burger, I'm not mad at it. I said dipping sauces for a reason. Now if you have, let's say for, like you know, I use salsa on my taco, on my tacos, on my burritos, you know? But when you're like, you're doing extras. Don: Semantics, bro. You're picking and choosing. Brev: Yeah. JRD: I'm not picking and choosing. First of all, this is my Haterade! I can pick and choose! What do you mean? What do you mean? Don: Can. I guess so, I guess you can. JRD: What do you mean? I can pick and choose! It's Haterade! God! Blackbeard ass. Brev: Like steak is good by itself, but it's pretty good with steak sauce too. JRD: So you're telling me if you go to like a nice steak place, gonna be like, hey boss man, hey boss man, you got the 157? Hey boss man, you got the A1 socks? Don: I'm gonna get the I'ma get the hot sauce for Shirley. Go ahead and give me some drink. JRD: That sauce is fine. Brev: I'll take, I always try the steak as by itself first. Always. I do that with wings also. I try the wings by himself before I dip them. Don: Don't get y'all bloody ass steak. JRD: I give my say medium rare for Shroesky. It's not bloody, it's Brev: Medium rare for sure. JRD: real bad flapping. It's not blood, it's real bad flapping. Brev: Yeah, meeting rare. JRD: It's not blood, it's not blood. Don: I'm on mine. Well done. JRD: ill Don: I like my I like my meat cooked thoroughly. JRD: Fun fact, Brev: Alright. JRD: you know why lot of African Americans like their meat cooked well done? It's because when they were slaves, not us, when our ancestors were slaves, they got the scraps of the meat and it was very unsanitary. So it had to be cooked to almost a crisp so it would be palatable for us. And over time, people get taste buds and they're the same thing and their parents are eating the same thing. So that's why a lot of African Americans like their fish fried hard or like they like their steak well done it's because of like you know our ancestors palates. Fun fact. Don: I feel like I I'm obviously I'm black. Brev: I didn't know that was a stereotype. Don: I have a family full of black people. I feel like I'm the JRD: That's not a stereotype. Don: I feel like I'm the only one that eats my steak. Well done. I I'm just I'm just I'm just stating. I'm not like JRD: it's not everyone like that, but the reason why is that... No, no, you're right, you're right, but you're right, 100%. Yeah, but again, when I say it, it's not like every person, there's nothing, there's no absolutes in anything in life almost, damn near. What I'm saying, the reason why is like a constant thing within the black community. Wouldn't you agree in a black community, like wings fried hard, fish fried hard, steak well done, you don't think that's a common theme within a black community, JD? Yeah, I was merely explaining why things happen, you know, it's not by coincidence. Brev: I didn't know that was a thing. JRD: because we're your only black friends. Of course, you know. Half of them do, half of them don't. Brev: You JRD: Come on now