Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 146: What College Didn’t Teach Them: Molly and Kate on Faith, Friendship, and Finding Your Person

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Episode 146: What College Didn’t Teach Them: Molly and Kate on Faith, Friendship, and Finding Your Person · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:06
[SPEAKER_00]: This is Cynthia Gannoff and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey friends, glad you're here with us and you're in for a treat today.
0:18
[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter Kate and her great friend Molly are back on the show.
0:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you missed it the first time, then you want to go back and listen to when they were on months ago because wow was the feedback huge.
0:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys love them, you laughed and I get lots of DMs saying when will they be back?
0:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And so here they are.
0:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we are kicking off a month.
0:39
[SPEAKER_00]: in May talking Mother's Day and we're gonna have different shows talking about different types of moms and different types of kids and we'll have my mom on and we'll have some of my friends but I thought why not kick it off with my daughter and her friend as we go into Mother's Day and they are lots of fun.
0:57
[SPEAKER_00]: They showed up in bonnets from the dollar store.
0:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, really taking the show seriously these too, but it wasn't pretty, but really funny.
1:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And they are going to give you a little glimpse into what's going on with our kids, what's going on with this generation?
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: What are they learning after high school?
1:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And they leave our home, what matters?
1:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just think they're delightful and so much fun, but of course, I'm partial.
1:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm thrilled they're back.
1:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you're going to enjoy them.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you will laugh if nothing else, and I promise to put a picture somewhere out on the socials, showing you what they look like in their bonnets.
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's kick it off today with Molly and Kate.
1:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, and Molly, welcome back to the podcast by popular demand.
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: We're back in better than ever, never thought you'd ask us back.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: We're still in our matching outfits and we're excited than ever.
1:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, okay, so I'll try to, we need to have a picture of this.
1:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure we'll put a reel up, but they are wearing matching, are those sleep hats or shower caps?
1:56
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I looking at?
1:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Wrangler.
1:58
[SPEAKER_00]: They're bonnets, potentially.
2:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and there's Smurfs, I recall.
2:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, from the Dollar Tree.
2:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, sponsoring our show today, love the Dollar Tree.
2:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's them.
2:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And don't we wish?
2:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, girls, just so that everyone knows your voices and who's who.
2:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We just say a little bit, well, who you are, and then what stage of life we're in, what's happening in life, because you haven't been on in a good six months.
2:23
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot could have changed.
2:25
[SPEAKER_01]: a lot has changed.
2:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would just like to start this episode off by saying that mom just prayed over us and she literally prayed that it would not only be a funny episode, but there would be some insight from us.
2:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So if that doesn't start off the episode well, I don't know what else to do.
2:40
[SPEAKER_01]: The bar is high.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: The bar is very high.
2:42
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm Kate.
2:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I am Cynthia's daughter and I also edit this podcast.
2:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I am going to gap you right now.
2:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm headed to law school.
2:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I graduated from the University of Texas.
2:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Last spring.
2:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm headed to Texas Tech in the fall.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm working for a foster care agency recruiting foster parents.
3:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you want a foster, give me a call, please.
3:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
3:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, Kate was on a podcast that they sent to me a different one for work, talking out foster care.
3:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was so good on it.
3:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was given her hard time because I'm like, you hate being on my podcast.
3:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And you like, killed it on this other one.
3:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So well, that one was worse.
3:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't even edit it.
3:20
[SPEAKER_01]: So if I was bad, I couldn't have even done anything about it.
3:24
[SPEAKER_01]: True.
3:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, no, it was such a good one.
3:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You should definitely have a listen.
3:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, I am Molly Hunter.
3:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I am by choice.
3:32
[SPEAKER_02]: The Yenop's second daughter.
3:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, I am one of Kate's great friends.
3:38
[SPEAKER_02]: We like to call it.
3:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And we lead young lives together.
3:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm in my senior year tomorrow marks my one month until I graduate.
3:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, at UC Austin.
3:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm studying education in social work and getting married May 30th.
3:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So, also something.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We're so excited.
3:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we just bought all our flights to go to the wedding and we got invited the rehearsal dinner We were getting over here and it's just a whole thing.
4:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We're just so excited.
4:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So Okay girls well and hey you said this you refer to each other's good friends.
4:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean there's a little bit story behind that
4:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Great friends.
4:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh great friends.
4:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Growing up my mom said that a best friend saying someone was your best friend was hurtful and exclusive So we always call people our great friends and so when Kate came to North Carolina for the first time I introduced her to everybody as my great friend And about four people in Kate was like why do you keep calling me your great friend just say I'm your best friend like I think we all know that by now
4:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, hey, that is so hurtful.
4:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It's great friend.
4:36
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a sweet mom thing to say.
4:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So in a world where everybody wants their kid to have a best friend or whatever, that's a good little tip of wisdom from your mama.
4:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and by the way, Molly has an incredible mom.
4:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I get to spend some time in New York.
4:50
[SPEAKER_00]: The four of us went to New York at Christmas.
4:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was amazing.
4:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so we're wrapping up college for one of you and the other one is gap gearing and so I have some college questions for you and then we're going to talk out friendship and we're going to talk a little bit about engagement and dating and getting everybody a preview where we're going going in the real world some faith stuff and some family stuff so let's start with this what is something valuable you learned in college that was not in class.
5:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can take this one.
5:21
[SPEAKER_01]: So a quote that's always kind of stood out to me.
5:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's John Ortberg.
5:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And it just talks about, for many of us, the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith.
5:30
[SPEAKER_01]: It is that we will settle for a mediocre version of it.
5:33
[SPEAKER_01]: We will just skim our lives instead of actually living them.
5:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think this is just a great quote for college kids to think about because it's such a busy time.
5:41
[SPEAKER_01]: and it's also just such a time for you to be selfish.
5:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, that's completely fair.
5:46
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot going on.
5:47
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much you have to do with school and friends and wanting to be known and everything else.
5:52
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that it's really important to just focus and on your faith during this time and just kind of figure out,
5:59
[SPEAKER_01]: who you want to be, what you want to stand for, what organizations you want to get involved in, and I think just making your faith your own.
6:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, obviously, Molly and I both grew up in Christian homes, but when you get to college, you don't have your family surrounding you.
6:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And so this is a time where you figure out, am I going to be a Christian for myself?
6:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Or am I going to culturally be a Christian?
6:19
[SPEAKER_01]: But nobody would really know deep down, but I have a relationship with the Lord.
6:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And you guys did young lives together.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually how you became such good friends.
6:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And so young lives, everyone is, it's young life, but this is
6:32
[SPEAKER_00]: the group that works with teenage moms.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I saying that accurately girls?
6:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
6:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and so it has been really so fun to watch you to do this and Kate drives a Jeep and has a baby on board stick around the back that we laugh at all the time.
6:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing like driving around college, time with a baby on board sticker on your Jeep.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But just I look at our Amazon account and that you pay for a lot of this, but I see.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're ordering formula and you're ordering diapers and I see Molly, you guys just with these babies all the time that you're babysitting to help these moms.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And you've even had the opportunity to baptize a few of your young lives moms.
7:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Just give us like, just a thumbnail on what that's meant.
7:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And just being a part of something like that in college that had nothing to do with class but how that's been so impactful.
7:22
[SPEAKER_00]: No, totally.
7:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the majority of what I've learned in college has been outside of the classroom.
7:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, yes, so grateful for my degree and all the things I learned in the classroom.
7:32
[SPEAKER_02]: But college pushes you to choose things for yourself.
7:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like, it was saying, you're not going to church because your family is going.
7:37
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not going to this meal because your family is going.
7:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not doing this because you're sibling did everything this sport because you're sibling did it.
7:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You really get to choose your life for yourself.
7:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And so, both of our freshman years, we chose to go through the process of becoming a young
7:51
[SPEAKER_02]: and just felt really called to do young lives.
7:53
[SPEAKER_02]: It looks different.
7:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a new culture.
7:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's often in a different language.
7:56
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of our moms speak Spanish and I think for both of us it completely changed our lives.
8:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we got to see the Lord in such a new and different and challenging and inspiring way.
8:08
[SPEAKER_02]: These moms have become some of our friends.
8:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Two of them, K, is lying with two North Carolina.
8:14
[SPEAKER_02]: to come to my wedding, their kids will be in my wedding and, um, leading Younghouse has been the coolest picture of the gospel for both of us.
8:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, getting to see moms completely change their lives to follow Jesus and getting to be a part of that decision and getting to baptize them.
8:28
[SPEAKER_02]: It not only means that they get Jesus for the rest of their life, but it also means that that decision impacted their whole family.
8:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Now their parents who were often young parents themselves and their children.
8:39
[SPEAKER_02]: get to know Jesus and that is such a gift and just so cool to unpack that and a different culture and just a different way.
8:46
[SPEAKER_02]: We love those moms and it's completely just changed and impacted both of our stories and also the love.
8:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, to, yeah, to, well said, indicates point like you have an opportunity to dig in in college and to be about something that's not just about yourself and the time when it is so busy and it was like the best years of your life and all this to actually, I mean, that's somebody else's life that's eternally changed and so it's been amazing to watch that.
9:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So talking through college, what's something that matters way less to you now than you thought it would your freshman year?
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I can take this.
9:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I think one of the biggest ones is a sorority that feels like such a fresh one-year thing.
9:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Who's rushing?
9:25
[SPEAKER_02]: How does that process work?
9:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I was coming from out of state and so I decided to rush because I wanted to meet people and not felt like the fastest and easiest way to do it.
9:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And it felt like the biggest deal in the world the first week of school.
9:37
[SPEAKER_02]: What's rarity you win?
9:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You're doing so many things with this new group of girls and now as a senior,
9:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It just doesn't matter that much.
9:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Some of my friends dropped, some of my friends changed, some of my friends never did rash, and I met them through other things.
9:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that just really doesn't matter that much.
9:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Also room decor was such a thing.
9:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we are so down to the bare bones in my room.
9:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody really cares about how you decorate your room.
10:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Instagram, I feel like that was such a big thing going into school.
10:04
[SPEAKER_02]: What does my Instagram look like?
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I meet people on Instagram, meeting your roommate on Instagram?
10:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Now I feel like college has just taught us that life is just simply not that serious.
10:13
[SPEAKER_02]: in the best ways, I feel like both of us just, it doesn't matter what you're wearing or what you're doing or you just get to be you.
10:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think college just does a great job of teaching you that.
10:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I think also, I learned, I did not rush was not in a sorority.
10:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that I learned that the Lord is gonna put people in your life at the right times.
10:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And Molly and I didn't meet until my junior year of college in her sophomore year.
10:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I had a really hard time with friends before that.
10:38
[SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like he put one key person in my life
10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would just encourage all of your college kids, soon to be college kids, like, you're only maybe around the corner.
10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, you may be one weird awkward organizational meeting that you're like, I don't want to go to this.
10:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, this is going to be so weird.
10:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to know anybody there.
10:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, go join the organizations.
11:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Go do all the things.
11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: You're never going to be upset for going to a meeting for a club.
11:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to be upset that you didn't go.
11:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And it could have been amazing.
11:07
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's just what I would encourage them.
11:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember when you were getting a volcano in young life and you decided to do young lives and young lives as I have nearly as many college kids involved as young life.
11:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember literally thinking it and probably saying it to you, I don't know maybe should stay young life.
11:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't go young lives.
11:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought this over and over because you may not meet very many people.
11:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to meet people.
11:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't, you know, like how good was the Lord in that, as you honored that and followed him in that, that's where you found Molly and that as a mom, I'm wanting to know the numbers.
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay with the bigger group, do the more popular thing and how.
11:45
[SPEAKER_00]: the Lord is so good.
11:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And we don't have to micromanage that.
11:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So, um, okay, let's, let's naturally talk friendship, okay?
11:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, what makes for a really good friend?
11:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, knowing what you know, I bet that's changed over the years, so talk to us about that.
12:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I think kind of going back to what we were talking about earlier with college just it can be such a time to be selfish I think that honestly what makes a really good friend is someone who's able to celebrate others really well and we were actually talking about this this weekend and I think a lot of adults have trouble with this as well, but I think that among females there can be a scarcity complex and when someone accomplishes something that
12:28
[SPEAKER_01]: maybe I have the tendency to think that that takes away from my own success, or what I can do, and that's absolutely not the case.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think it's just really important that we focus on celebrating other people.
12:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think the hardest thing to celebrate is when someone gets the exact thing that you wanted.
12:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Someone gets a bit from the sorority you wanted to be in.
12:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Someone has a boyfriend and you don't.
12:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Someone is getting engaged and you don't have a boyfriend.
12:53
[SPEAKER_01]: All of those things
12:57
[SPEAKER_01]: be super selfish and get jealous.
12:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think being a friend who can celebrate other friends is so important and so rare.
13:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:05
[SPEAKER_00]: We were talking about that this weekend and how it just feels like there's that scarcity complex that if somebody wins I lost and how you fight that as an adult as well.
13:15
[SPEAKER_00]: But finding women that can cheer for you friends that can cheer you on.
13:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know it's funny as I'm thinking through this a little bit too for you.
13:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You tend to think
13:26
[SPEAKER_00]: speak in this too, Molly, but you feel like your good friends need to have the same interest as you.
13:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was thinking, Kate, if another one of your really great friends, as Molly's mom would have us say, that's been one of your great friends since 3rd grade, that also went to college with you.
13:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And y'all could not be more different.
13:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And we laughed because when you graduated, we took pictures together like senior pictures.
13:45
[SPEAKER_00]: She had 1,000 cords around her neck for all her academics, and you had all these inner mural shirts, because you won 10 inner murals, and while you were in college, and you're real proud of those, too.
13:56
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm curious, like, has that changed for you, Molly, too?
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, just what you're looking for, and what you think it takes to, like, gel with someone?
14:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I will say, um, yes, I love my dear friend Reagan and she is literally the best.
14:11
[SPEAKER_01]: We have been such good friends since third grade.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: We have not a single thing in common, but Reagan is one of the best celebrators of other people that I have ever met.
14:21
[SPEAKER_01]: She did not go on a single date until a year ago, I think, about and is now engaged.
14:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had two boy friends before her went on all the dates and I mean she was there every step of the way just cheering me on so happy not a bone of jealousy in her body and those are the kind of people that you want to be friends with.
14:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
14:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally we've talked so much about reading this year and just how wonderful of a friend she is to keep it also to me and just by default the people that.
14:46
[SPEAKER_02]: She loves, she celebrates others really well, and it's just really fun to be around.
14:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I also think that friends that are interested in different things or spend their time in different places, I mean,
14:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Young life leaders have a very different schedule than young life leaders where you should on Tuesdays, they're on Mondays and Wednesdays, so it does look like you've got to find your people, but I think that it's all about people in college people in life want to be known.
15:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And so even when you're interested in different things people want to be asked questions and they want friends that show up and you don't have to tell them what to ask or tell them when to show up.
15:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It's people that know when to show up know what to ask and know when to do that.
15:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And whether you have the same interests or not it's people that show up.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that means so much, especially in college.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
15:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the things I remember in college in terms of friendship that was hard was dealing with conflict.
15:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Because in high school, you can just not see him as much, or you can, you know, whatever.
15:42
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you live with someone that's hard or you're hard, I mean, whatever the case, everybody's hard in a lot of ways, but just working through conflict.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: What did you learn to the last few years about that?
15:54
[SPEAKER_02]: conflict has been so interesting in college.
15:57
[SPEAKER_02]: We very quickly realized as you talk about housing.
16:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like that was our first friend conflict.
16:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Not even that it was a conflict, but it just was so many opinions.
16:06
[SPEAKER_02]: All it went, where do we want to live?
16:07
[SPEAKER_02]: How do we split up our friends in a thoughtful way?
16:10
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you say what you want while also being thoughtful about the people's feelings?
16:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And so while we were doing the housing conversation, we all took the Enneagram test, which I'm assuming you'll have heard about Enneagram listeners, too.
16:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But very quickly, we realized that we had one Enneagram eight, which is the
16:27
[SPEAKER_02]: very direct communicator.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And most others really don't like conflict.
16:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I happen to be the enneagram aid of the group.
16:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's a group of about 15 to mess.
16:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't mind conflict.
16:38
[SPEAKER_02]: But a lot of friends don't like confrontation.
16:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And people have very different conflicts, status.
16:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And so learning in friendship, what people need, and how to like, I love to have a conversation about something other people don't.
16:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so caring for other people in conflict can look like meeting them where they are.
16:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It can look like,
16:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Dancing around a conversation even when I really want to have one, it can look like giving patients for places.
16:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But college teaches you your style of conflict and also how that changes in a group versus a one-on-one dynamic.
17:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Definitely.
17:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I've been really blessed to have both Molly and Reagan in my life for a pretty long time, but my freshman year of college
17:15
[SPEAKER_01]: was really hard.
17:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I had some friendships that did not work out, and that I just decided we're not worth pursuing.
17:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think the biggest thing that I learned through that is that you need to own up to your 10% even if it genuinely is just 10%.
17:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And you feel like you have completely been wronged, and that was how I was feeling.
17:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have a victim complex, but I was like, I don't feel like I've really done that much wrong here.
17:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like these people have not been good friends to me.
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: but I ended up hearing a sermon my freshman year in realizing like, I need to own up to the 10% because in their head I'm sure it was much more than 10% and so I ended up going back and apologizing to each of them and I think that that's super important being willing to apologize even when you don't feel like you did as much in the conflict and even when you know they're probably not going to apologize back.
18:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
18:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's a good point.
18:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember you doing that.
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember you did not get an apology back.
18:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And you weren't expecting it.
18:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you came in with it.
18:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you were going to take care of your side of the street.
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's I think that's remarkable.
18:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Any thoughts on how you figured out friendships that are worth fighting for versus those that you probably need to let go or is that still a moving target?
18:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I think it's dependent on a lot of things.
18:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I have a little list of questions that Kate and I kind of talk about, talk about with my mom, growing up.
18:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I moved round a lot and so we always talked about kind of these questions as what are true, true, great friends.
18:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And so does this person fill you up?
18:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Does this person draw you closer to Jesus?
18:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to act on the advice that they're giving to you?
18:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to be more like this person?
18:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And are you filled up after hanging out or does it take a social battery and so I think the best of friends and the ones that are really worth pursuing or the ones that you can be around all day every day and they just don't drain you They show up for you.
19:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You want to be like them.
19:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You want to take their advice and sometimes friends are worth pursuing even when they're tougher and when it does take a social battery and when it's harder because sometimes that's a great friend for season or you're a friend to them for a reason
19:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and sometimes it's really just, it fills you up and so I think friendships look different and they evolve over the course of college and over the course of life, but I love that list of questions and I feel like that helps a lot.
19:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Me too.
19:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I think those are, that's great for, and I don't care what age you are.
19:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a really, that was thinking about some of my friendships as you're reading.
19:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh, that's interesting because I'm not interested.
19:37
[SPEAKER_00]: These people are meeting any of those right now and not that it's all about me and I know that's not at all your point either.
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: There's friendships that we are in, where we're there to serve someone else.
19:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you're talking about that inner core circle of people, that, you know, your community, then I think those are fair and important questions.
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, Molly, let's talk about this.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to talk about relationships for a minute.
19:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Last time you guys were on, did we do dating advice I can't remember?
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe we didn't.
20:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We said we were going to.
20:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Was that right?
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: We said we were going to.
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: We said we were going to.
20:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And the people wanted us back for dating relationships.
20:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
20:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're near.
20:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And I forgot to give my update at the beginning.
20:13
[SPEAKER_01]: My wedding is not next month.
20:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm just going to clarify that.
20:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And it never was.
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
20:18
[SPEAKER_00]: It never was going to be.
20:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
20:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about this.
20:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's start with you Molly.
20:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It seems like the natural start since you're engaged in Kate's single.
20:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But we love you Kate.
20:27
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a place for all of us.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fine.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: But Molly, I know when I was dating Mike, one of the things I struggled with, and Mike and I dated seven years, which was a total situation, I know ridiculous.
20:40
[SPEAKER_00]: But everyone around me was like, I just knew he was the one because I couldn't live another day without him.
20:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just not naturally an emotional person.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, well, I don't know, I guess I don't want to, but I could live another day without him.
20:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was so confused by just whatever Betty was saying and how they knew that was their person.
21:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do believe it's different for a lot of people.
21:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like if I was leaning in harder to the Lord, I probably would have known earlier.
21:07
[SPEAKER_00]: But when did you start to realize that?
21:09
[SPEAKER_00]: What advice maybe did your mom give you?
21:11
[SPEAKER_00]: How did that play out and knowing like Charlie?
21:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I allowed to say his name on here?
21:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally.
21:16
[SPEAKER_00]: He's what anonymous.
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I don't know if he has all kinds of privacy issues, but how did you know that Charlie was the person?
21:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the phrase when you know you know is so funny and it just makes me laugh.
21:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I think some people really feel that feeling at other people don't.
21:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's totally fine for me, Charlie and I are long distance for context.
21:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I am at Texas and he goes to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville.
21:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So we've dated for four years completely long distance.
21:43
[SPEAKER_02]: We met in middle school, started dating into high school.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: um, the very end of high school.
21:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So April of our senior year, it was the day of prom, Charlie had asked me to be the state and at prom asked me to be his girlfriend.
21:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So like, we truly had a couple weeks left of high school.
21:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, I don't know.
21:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I guess will be your girlfriend, but we're both coming to schools across the country.
22:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, this doesn't really make a lot of sense.
22:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Kind of went down the whole spiral.
22:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And my mom was like, go in a date.
22:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, he's a great guy.
22:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Day to great guy throughout summer.
22:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I had traveled the whole summer.
22:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So we really started long distance off the bat.
22:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that was such a gift to us,
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Instead of us being in high school together, being in college together, and it was like, okay Charlie, we're going to go be young lifeladers because I'm doing it.
22:23
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to go to this church because I'm doing it.
22:25
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to be friends with these people because I'm doing it.
22:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to really see Charlie do college himself.
22:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Like he made every decision for himself.
22:32
[SPEAKER_02]: He found a church, he found friends, he got to pursue college in the way that he wanted to.
22:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And so actually on the first visit, our freshman year, the first time I went to Knoxville,
22:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I wrote myself a letter on the flight home, which Charlie will now get to read in a couple months on our wedding day.
22:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But I had written to myself, I truly think that this is my person and I know that, or I think I know that, because getting to see him in Knoxville pursue the Lord for himself, meeting his friends for the first time and getting to see him introduce me to that community, I was like, this is the guy I want to marry.
23:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think Long Distance was a gift-ass in that, and it changes over the course of time, but...
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: That was kind of my, my movement.
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love that.
23:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting sappy over here.
23:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I teared up on that.
23:17
[SPEAKER_00]: My goodness.
23:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what he is saying.
23:20
[SPEAKER_00]: OK, well, really happy for you, Molly.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
23:41
[SPEAKER_02]: No, he did such a great job.
23:43
[SPEAKER_01]: That's been Molly's catchphrase.
23:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, he did such a good job.
23:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And do you tell them where you got engaged?
23:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But then anything surprised you about engagement?
23:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was 100% convinced that the actual engagement was happening the week after it actually happened.
23:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So the moment that I was getting engaged the whole time, there's a video and it's just me saying, are you serious?
24:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you kidding?
24:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you messing with me?
24:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you pranking me?
24:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And Charlie's like, Molly, I'm just looking like I'm being serious, I'm being serious.
24:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So the actual engagement was shocking.
24:11
[SPEAKER_02]: That was surprising.
24:13
[SPEAKER_02]: But since then, I feel like being in college and being engaged, planning a wedding, all of these life events are happening all at once.
24:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm graduating in two weeks later, I'm getting married.
24:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And that feels like so much adulting.
24:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the end of childhood, the beginning of something new, the beginning of something exciting, the end of something exciting.
24:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like there's so many emotions.
24:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think I've just been surprised by all of these feelings.
24:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel so old sometimes when I'm getting married.
24:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I also feel so young.
24:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I went to get my wedding dress altered the other day.
24:42
[SPEAKER_02]: alterations lady looked at me and was like how old are you?
24:45
[SPEAKER_02]: You can get married and so those comments kind of hurt I'm like yes, I can you know I can get married.
24:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm old enough.
24:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm you know mature enough.
24:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been so thoughtful about this.
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to be so thoughtful about this and then other times I'm graduating college and it's like no, I'm so young.
24:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still a kid.
24:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I still want to have plan.
25:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to do some things and so I think this range of feelings is pretty normal for this period of time anyways but we talked a lot about just so many surprising feelings across the board right now
25:11
[SPEAKER_00]: She was being humble, okay, where'd she get engaged?
25:14
[SPEAKER_00]: She got engaged in the dolomites.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was fabulous.
25:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But we might even, if I remember, we might put a little picture up on social, it was a real care.
25:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and then let's one other question that we're gonna move to you, okay.
25:27
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you most excited about?
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you maybe feel prepared for it, not prepared for in marriage?
25:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Hi, I'm so excited for life together.
25:35
[SPEAKER_02]: We have dreamed about this for four years.
25:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You've done long distance for so long.
25:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And so there's something so exciting about getting to wake up every day and serve each other and serve our greater community.
25:46
[SPEAKER_02]: We've talked so much about how excited we are to host people into our home and serve people out of that place.
25:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just know that Charlie's going to do such a good job with that.
25:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And I see so much of the Lord through him and through the way that he loves other people and just feel like,
26:00
[SPEAKER_02]: the greatest version of myself around him.
26:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm excited to just see that grow and flourish and grow in so many ways in marriage.
26:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I also think not that I'm intimidated, maybe I'm intrigued, but as we end long distance, we both study to broaden Barcelona.
26:16
[SPEAKER_02]: We lived about 30 minutes apart in Barcelona.
26:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, so we got to see a little bit of what our in-person dynamic will be, but like living with a boy and living in the same city and all of these things are going to be really new and so not that I'm intimidated But I think I'm just intrigued to lean into living together and loving each other well in a new place discovering a new city removing a Nashville and so I think it's a lot of new at once and the person I'd want to tackle it with but Um, I'm intrigued for the excitement and the challenges that I had.
26:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing.
26:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I find Kate, you should put an ad in right here or something to kind of break it up before we move into, let's talk single life Kate.
26:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Now on the other end of the spectrum, my daughter Kate over here, single Sally.
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Kate, you, as you said earlier, had a couple of relationships, a couple of boyfriends in college, and right now you're in your single season, your single era.
27:13
[SPEAKER_00]: What have you learned about
27:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think the biggest thing that I've learned about myself from these relationships is I think there's a lot of pressure from the Christian community.
27:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I also think parents, I love you all.
27:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Garret sometimes can add to this pressure a little bit, but I think there's this pressure of if you meet this Christian guy that loves Jesus, you better hang on to him for dear life.
27:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, a personality doesn't necessarily have to be perfect, but he's a great Christian guy.
27:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Those do not grow on trees, like, hang on for dear life.
27:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And yes, I completely agree with that.
27:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I stand firm on the fact that I think girls are age content to have way too high of standards for guys.
27:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And the kinds of guys that they would go on dates with.
27:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think of my little brother, I love that kid.
28:01
[SPEAKER_01]: He is not living up to any of these standards that some girls are holding for guys.
28:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think it's really important to just be willing to go on dates with Christian guys.
28:11
[SPEAKER_01]: However, I do think that a lot of times,
28:17
[SPEAKER_01]: The Christian girl specifically will just stay in relationships because they'll be like oh, but he's such a good Christian.
28:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that I would love to start a movement of breaking that I think that it's just really important that the personality lines up.
28:32
[SPEAKER_01]: with faith as well.
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that at the end of the day, this person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, yes, it is really important that they love the Lord.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: That is the most important thing.
28:41
[SPEAKER_01]: However, right behind it is personality, compatibility, all these things.
28:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so,
28:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it's a bad thing at all to break up with a guy who is a strong believer if the personality is not necessarily meshing super well.
28:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I think to your point, and what you're referencing is this idea that there's a scarcity of guys out there for Christian girls and we know that our Lord is not a Lord of scarcity and so if you're to be married, the right person is out there.
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: but also this idea of the standards that a lot of girls, your agent, and we're all for standards in our family, right?
29:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But you referencing your brother, your middle brother, not the little one, the little one, you know, that's another situation.
29:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But we think gosh, could anybody live up to all the things you know, has to be
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: He has to be godly, he has to love the Lord.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: He's got to be in a Bible study.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: He's got to do, you know, there's all these things you're like, listen, I mean, are you all those things?
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It just takes a, it can take a judgmental tone.
29:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I like that you're also looking at that way, too.
29:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, like, go on some dates, and we want some of the loves the Lord, but we're also give some room to, for growth and other things.
29:49
[SPEAKER_00]: The other question I want to ask you is, how are you dealing with the comparison when, literally, you're two greatest of great friends?
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think Molly's mom would like that.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You're two great friends.
30:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I am our both getting married in the next couple of months.
30:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And here in like three or four weddings, the next couple of months, and we've already been in several, how's that working?
30:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Or not working?
30:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I know you'll be honest with everybody.
30:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, I mean, right now I'm kind of in a phase of always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
30:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, nevertheless, I think the biggest thing that I've just been leaning into is just trusting the Lord in this phase of life and God's not going to put my husband in my life a second before I need him there.
30:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And so if this is not what the Lord has for me at the age of 22, then I don't want it.
30:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Whenever the Lord has that person for me, I know that he has good plans for my life and that it's not going to come a moment too soon.
30:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I also just think I want to focus on celebrating what other people have and not what I don't have.
30:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I mean that's part of that thing.
30:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Like everybody loves to be celebrated but nobody loves to celebrate.
30:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I just want to be a friend that's always going to cheer other people on.
30:59
[SPEAKER_01]: even if obviously one day I would like to get married and have kids and all of that just because the people around me are getting married right now does not mean that I am not getting married.
31:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
31:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And just because two people close to me have pulled two guys out of the dating pool does not mean that I am never going to get married.
31:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think just focusing on celebrating others has been important.
31:18
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so good.
31:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And I want to happen here and say that Kate has done an incredible job of being selfless in this season.
31:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it is
31:25
[SPEAKER_02]: so fun to be Kate's friend for so many reasons, but it's not lost on me that you are in so many weddings and that this season can look like a lot of things and I'm so grateful to have a friend like Kate Kate has done so much for me supporting me in the wedding, planning things, helping with all kinds of things, but I'm also watching her do that for two other great friends in her life and she
31:48
[SPEAKER_02]: celebrates so well.
31:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's a great example to the people around me and the friends around me of like this is how you show up.
31:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And now when Kate does get married like we are going to be so overjoyed to show up for her, but also something at one of my mentors told one of my friends.
32:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a bridal shower earlier this year was.
32:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not normal to look around in this many people beginning married at once.
32:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, God's plan is for all of these people, and you don't have to feel like you're behind because like, it's on a full ride to law school.
32:17
[SPEAKER_02]: She's doing an incredible job in the life that the Lord has planned for her, and I'm thrilled for her and that.
32:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's just fun to be friends with people that celebrate so well, and you've done an incredible job of that.
32:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, y'all are so cute.
32:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I keep choking up.
32:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It's getting ridiculous over here.
32:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have to edit myself out and Kate, edit me out.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: OK, here's a, and I'm going to try to skip through some of the questions we're going to talk about.
32:41
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I miss something, y'all really want to talk about that I want you to tell me that.
32:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But what's challenged your faith most during your college years?
32:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that.
32:49
[SPEAKER_02]: My faith has been most challenged by young lives.
32:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I knew we talked about that before.
32:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also been the thing that's strengthened my faith, the most.
32:58
[SPEAKER_02]: But watching, truly watching your friends.
33:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, these moms have really become our friends.
33:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Live a life that's very different from the life that we grew up living.
33:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, the mom that I get to mentor, who's one of my great friends, her name is Bella.
33:15
[SPEAKER_02]: She was 13 when she got pregnant with Mateo.
33:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Mateo is about to turn four and she's about to turn 18 and they're doing amazing.
33:20
[SPEAKER_02]: She's an amazing mom and I see so much of Jesus and her in the way that she lives, but watching her life is not easy.
33:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And there've been a lot of times I've been challenged by Lord, why did you do this?
33:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Why did you write her story in this way and write mine in this way?
33:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for connecting us at some point along the way,
33:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been challenged.
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been challenged by their questions.
33:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been challenged by their lives.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been challenged by their frustrations and it's frustrating to me and so I think that's one of the greatest reminders to rely.
33:54
[SPEAKER_02]: on the Lord and to be reminded that this is his plan and that ultimately he connected us to have those conversations with these moms and that these moms ultimately get to meet Jesus because of this program of young lives and because of people that care about this community.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say a hundred percent that's been so challenging but also the most redeeming piece of my faith and is pushing me the most.
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, what strength and your faith the most during college?
34:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think young lives has definitely strengthened my faith and just being able to
34:23
[SPEAKER_01]: use my time in a way that is not selfish and volunteering that I also think surrounding myself with people that are really amazing and point me closer to Jesus is definitely made all the difference.
34:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I came into college with Reagan and she's been an amazing friend to me all the way through.
34:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I also met Molly and so what is that quote that you're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with or whatever?
34:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I've always thought
34:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, the five people I spend the most time with are these people that are pushing me closer to Jesus are again doing Molly's list of questions like Are the do I love the version of myself that I am around them?
35:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that that's so important and can really be a maker break in college because Molly and I would both kind of say
35:08
[SPEAKER_01]: We had our couple of maybe two or three really close people that we spent all of our time with.
35:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I did not have a huge friend group in college, but I had really close people who I knew would fly across the country if I needed anything.
35:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like that's all you need.
35:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
35:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that funny?
35:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Also having grown up in our home because I tend to have so many friends and people around me, not necessarily all close, but I remember when y'all were growing up and you and Brett are very different from me and you would be like, I think I'll have two friends over.
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, well, if you're having two, I invited 22 more and you'd be like, oh my gosh, mom, and finally when time your dad said,
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, not everybody is like you.
35:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people like a few smaller people together.
35:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And that really was kind of a moment, like, oh, I didn't realize that not everybody wanted 72 friends with them all the time.
35:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've loved watching you navigate that and have really close deep friendships, but not feeling, you don't, what do you say?
36:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And everyone says you don't have FOMO, you have...
36:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I've done it.
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: FOMO.
36:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Joy of missing out.
36:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
36:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's nowhere in my vernacular, but I love watching you navigate that and be like, oh yeah, I don't need to be there.
36:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need, I don't miss that.
36:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, birthday parties at the end off house growing up.
36:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Brett and I would send mama list of people and it was about five people and you showed up and they were 50.
36:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, who are these people?
36:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Why is my neighbor at my birthday party?
36:26
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's mom and I love you for it, but we are definitely different.
36:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
36:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about family now and I'm recognizing I'm asking questions that and believe you me listeners, my kids will be brutally honest about what we got right in wrong.
36:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So nobody's planted answers for Kate at least, but
36:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, what do you, what do you most appreciate now as you're like young adults through college about your upbringing and and you can go the other direction too and say, man, I didn't realize this was odd or you know, we talked about that last time a little bit but what do you appreciate or maybe what do you look at and you're like, okay, huh, that's that was a little different.
37:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the things that I appreciate now and I think that you grow to appreciate your parents so much over time and especially being away from my parents.
37:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean they're in North Carolina and at the beginning of freshman year I was like, I am out of my hometown.
37:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I love my new city of Austin.
37:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I am going to do so great here.
37:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I do not need to go home and now I love being home and I appreciate my parents so much.
37:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate time with them so much.
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just home for Eastern.
37:32
[SPEAKER_02]: It was the greatest most regenerating time ever and so
37:35
[SPEAKER_02]: you really grow to appreciate your parents.
37:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think just in reflecting on college and anticipating marriage, we talked a lot about my parents' love the Lord.
37:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I think first and foremost, I've appreciated their love for the Lord the way that impacts their marriage and the way that we got to be raised.
37:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I hope like that.
37:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And now the way that I get to see the Lord.
37:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I also appreciate their willingness and excitement for us to see the world.
38:00
[SPEAKER_02]: When I was in high
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Literally you have a bonnet on, by the way.
38:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, literally I have a bonnet on my smartphone.
38:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a smartphone on my bonnet to go to Africa.
38:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And my parents were like, you know what?
38:14
[SPEAKER_02]: We love you.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: We love the word.
38:16
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to pray about this.
38:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you want to make this happen, we want to encourage you and that.
38:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you just think that's where the word wants you to be, then do it.
38:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And so my parents encouraged me and encourage my siblings to see the world.
38:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And I lived in Kenya for,
38:27
[SPEAKER_02]: a whole month and it completely changed my life and that's where a lot of my love for alternative cultures and groups of people and languages and now my love for young lives is kind of where that started and so I love the way they pursued us to listen to the Lord and encourage us in that and they just they cared for us really well and prioritized family and travel and conversations about Jesus and hosting and I am so excited to copy a lot of the things that they did.
38:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Kate, what's the best advice that your parents gave you?
39:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Or not.
39:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Or the worst advice you gave me.
39:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure, either one.
39:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
39:06
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm just kidding.
39:07
[SPEAKER_01]: The best advice that y'all gave me and you definitely didn't make this up, mom.
39:11
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm not gonna give you credit for this.
39:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not an either of the books.
39:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But you always used to tell us that people won't remember anything you say or do but they'll remember the way you made them feel.
39:20
[SPEAKER_01]: and I've always loved that quote because I think it's so true.
39:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think in a context of like interacting with other Christians, like...
39:29
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to be the ones that are celebrating when nobody else will.
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to be the people that include when nobody else wants to include.
39:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Take a picture with the girl that nobody else wants to take a picture with.
39:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Be the friend that you want others to be to you.
39:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I feel like that quote really applies for Christian friendships.
39:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It also obviously applies for non-Christian relationships.
39:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in college you're surrounded by a group at least I grew up in Bible Bell.
39:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And so college is kind of the first time where I was surrounded by a lot of non-believers.
39:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I do think our lives are really the only Bible that some non-believers may read.
40:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And so do they look at us?
40:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Do they think Kate lives really differently?
40:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Kate doesn't drink when other people do drink.
40:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Kate doesn't, you know, however you want to interpret that.
40:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think we just want to as Christians be the best representation of our faith, because you never know who's watching.
40:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's a really good way to minister to non-believers.
40:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
40:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good word.
40:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
40:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything else on family y'all want to hit before I moved our last topic?
40:31
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom's one piece of advice actually both my parents was to never settle.
40:34
[SPEAKER_02]: That's like a quite a thing in our family.
40:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We went to family camp one time a young my family camp and that was the message was to never settle.
40:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so since then my parents have always said you never settle.
40:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't settle on the college that you go to.
40:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't settle on the boy that you date.
40:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't settle on the major that you choose.
40:48
[SPEAKER_02]: The job that you choose.
40:49
[SPEAKER_02]: My sister
40:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Working a job that she loves because my parents encouraged her to not settle for a job that she wasn't going to love and they're encouraging me in the same way and so I think that is such a good word at this season of life and all of life don't settle on like you know your dreams and you know your passions and how people around you that encourage you to not settle and shoot for the stars okay we're ending with this real world.
41:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Kate, you've kind of been in the real world this last year, Ish.
41:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been working and had a job and all of those things.
41:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything you felt completely unprepared for or you weren't anticipating?
41:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think, you know, as a senior in high school, as you're trying to pick what major you want to do in college, you feel like it's going to be the career you choose for the rest of your life.
41:34
[SPEAKER_01]: and so I was a journalism major.
41:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm obviously doing nothing related to journalism right now.
41:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I recruit foster parents for a child placing agency.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do think it's really important to look at the things that you're passionate about and look at the things that you're good at and kind of find the intersection of that and so for me that was foster care.
41:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It just meant so much to me because of JB and just because of the amazing experiences.
41:57
[SPEAKER_01]: we had with foster care, but I also think about in college that was why I joined young lives.
42:02
[SPEAKER_01]: JB's mom was a teen mother, and so I think all along the way, I've tried to take the things that I'm really passionate about, which is teen moms foster care.
42:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And either join organizations related to those, join, you know, apply for jobs related to that.
42:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think it's just really important when you're getting to the end of your college to again, not settle, you're going to want to get in a job that you're going to be passionate about.
42:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Because at the end of the day, you don't want your job to feel like a job.
42:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to feel like you're making a difference.
42:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's how you do that is by doing something you're really passionate about.
42:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I like that.
42:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, back to the don't settle.
42:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do think the Lord just changes the desires of your heart as you pursue him and use the giftings and talents that he's given you.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And so.
42:49
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, girls.
42:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thanks for coming back Molly.
42:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Next time we talk to you, you will be a married woman when you come back on the show.
42:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Lord willing.
42:58
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be a long break before we see y'all.
43:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe you know what they say.
43:08
[SPEAKER_02]: We got like one month left to spring.
43:10
[SPEAKER_00]: One month.
43:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't help you out.
43:12
[SPEAKER_00]: don't counter out of the game yet.
43:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thanks you guys for always being willing to come on and talk about all the different things.
43:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, you really are back by popular requests.
43:22
[SPEAKER_00]: People ask me all the time when you're all coming on.
43:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So thanks for doing it.
43:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Molly, have an amazing wedding.
43:28
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't wait.
43:29
[SPEAKER_00]: We're getting so excited.
43:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And Kate, when we all talk next time, we will do it from Nashville, Molly, the married Molly, hopefully the job.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And
43:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Charlie the special guest now that he's not being so private anymore.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, perfect.
43:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We've, yeah, for sure.
43:49
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, thanks girls.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
43:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Bye.
43:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
43:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean to tell you, aren't those two fun?
43:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't worry, we'll have them back on once Molly's married and Kate's in law school and we'll keep tracking with them and seeing what's going on.
44:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to thank all of you that have reached out and asked me to speak at different things you have coming up in the fall and spring of next year.
44:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And let you know that I am still booking and I would love to come speak to your group.
44:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So talk to your women's minister, think about the groups that you're involved and if they're looking for speakers, I would love
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: to do that for you would love to come visit your towns so you can reach out through my website Cynthiaganoff.com and guys thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.
44:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the very best.