Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #82| Why Does Other People's Relaxation Feel Offensive and Overwhelming?

Transcript

#82| Why Does Other People's Relaxation Feel Offensive and Overwhelming? · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Hey friend, thanks for joining.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, on Thursdays, I'm going to tell you about a resource that's been really helpful to me, something I love and I want to share.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It might be a book or a podcast, or even someone to follow on Instagram, just something that made an impact on me that I think could help you too.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Today, I want to touch on an idea inspired by the book Untamed by Glennon Doyle.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Now, if you haven't read it, untamed is a collection of short, powerful stories, each one with a thought-provoking message to make you think about the way that you have been tamed, so to speak.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: It's great if you're a person who doesn't have time to read a book cover to cover, because the chapters are quick and impactful and perfect for sparking conversation or thinking about things.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: But today I want to zoom in on one concept from the book that really stuck with me In there.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Glennon Doyle, who's the author, is sharing a story about her wife, abby Wambach yes, the soccer star, abby Wambach.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: And Abby apparently has this amazing ability to take care of herself, which includes unapologetically lying on the couch right in the middle of the day.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Just watching TV, glennon said something that really hit me.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: When she would see Abby relaxing on the couch in the middle of the day, she would take it as a personal offense.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: She said it's like she's relaxing at me.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I think that is so funny because obviously that seems like a ridiculous statement.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: How many times have you felt triggered by someone doing something that we think they shouldn't be doing?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: For example, the handsome man friend sleeps later than I do.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: He's more of a night person, so he stays up later and then he sleeps later.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And sometimes in the morning when it's like eight o'clock and I have run around the whole world and gone to work out and gotten my kids off to school and gotten myself ready for work, I feel like he's sleeping at me.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Or when my daughter is unhurried in the morning and I'm trying to get her out the door, I feel like she's being slow at me.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So I'm sharing this with you today, so that you, too, can chuckle if you're doing this to other people in your life, because I think it's natural for us to feel that way and feel like, when we've been socialized in a different way or we react in a different way, that our way is right and theirs is wrong, and they're just living out loud, right at us, trying to piss us off.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing to remember, though.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: What other people do isn't about us.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: So Abby wasn't relaxing at Glennon.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: She was just relaxing, and the handsome man friend isn't sleeping later than me at me, and my daughter isn't going slow at me.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: In fact, they're just being themselves.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So, today, the takeaway that I want to share with you is this shift to just let people be who they are and maybe even learn something from them.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I think there's something to be learned from everyone in my life who's doing things at me, just like Glennon learned from her wife, abby, that it's okay to lay down and relax in the middle of the day, if that's what you feel like doing, instead of judging her, thinking about what could I learn from this?
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: What can I learn by not getting out of bed at the crack of dawn?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What can I learn by not being rushed when I'm headed out the door and instead of feeling triggered, you can think good for them.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Good for them for just being who they are.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: So that's my invitation for you this week.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: When you catch yourself getting frustrated by someone else, ask yourself are they really doing anything to you or are they just being themselves?
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: And maybe it's a sign that you could learn something from them too.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: If this idea resonates with you, I think you'll love this book Untamed by Glennon Doyle.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: It's full of great little stories like this, very simple but so profound, and, if nothing else, it has a beautiful cover, and I love having it on my bookshelf.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's it for this week.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Thanks for joining Quick Hit Thursday.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Remember, no one is relaxing at you.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: They're just relaxing, and you can do the same thing too.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Also, remember to text me the questions that you'd like me to answer on Quick Hit Thursday, and you may hear your question on the podcast soon.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegothiercom.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: See you next week.