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Sober Talk SA -Bluey 2 · Sober Talk SA

• 0:00
  Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
• 0:03
  experience at alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
• 0:11
  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
• 0:23
  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
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  strengthen hope with each other. They must solve their common
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  problems and help others to recoup from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
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  drinking. There are no dues of fees for
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  AIR membership. We are self support through our
• 0:45
  own contributions. AIR is not allied with any sect,
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution.
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any clauses. Our primary pass is still
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  Someone help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
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  I'm a bullied, I'm an alcoholic, tell a bit of our story as came
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  into Rio at the age of 31 and been around for a few years.
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  Now I'm 72, so it's a few years, NIA, But yeah, I'll tell what
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  it's like. When I when I was drinking at
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  the age of 13, I picked up my first drink.
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  It was at my sister's birthday party.
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  I didn't know it's alcohol was a cocktail mix.
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  I thought it was orange juice, but was always a very quiet
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  person. Then all of a sudden I started
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  drinking this cocktail and that a different person come out of
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  me, different character, you know, and I started to talk to
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  people. I started to talk to women and
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  started to ask for dancing. You know, I started dancing and
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  tell them jokes and then I end up in a fight a little bit
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  later, my future brother-in-law and I ran away from behind it.
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  So I really should have realized alcohol is not for me from that
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  time on, but it wasn't to be. You know, I, I came back home
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  after about an hour and went to bed and then I woke up the next
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  day and nobody really said anything to me about it.
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  So I just carried on allotment. But I noticed my life did
• 2:37
  change. We used to go to church and be a
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  bit of A and I was in the scouts and that and I started to give
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  all those things away and I sad to hang around with people that
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  did drink. My family weren't drinkers.
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  They were running social drinking must seen in the truck
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  and I've never seen three sisters get drunk.
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  But I ended up being an alcoholic and now today it's in
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  the genes in the family going back through the ancestry must
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  on both sides. I've got virus and Welsh and
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  yeah, there's certainly Alcoholics in both sides.
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  So I found that out since I've been in a a but I didn't know it
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  then. And I carried on hanging around
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  with them. My friend down the road called
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  Freddie. His family dragged pretty heavy
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  and so did his neighbors and there was always a few arguments
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  and fights going on. Police were called in and I
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  thought of this is pretty exciting, you know, and I just
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  drink soft drinks. While I was there, I never drank
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  alcohol because of the fear of what happened the first dollar.
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  But eventually, after 2 1/2 years, you know, I had AI put my
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  age up to get me motorbike license and a little motorbike.
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  And 1:00 Saturday morning, guy called Freddie, asked me whether
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  he'd take me down to the Cross Keys Hotel.
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  I lived at Kilburn at the time. That's what I was raised.
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  I said, Gillian, I worries mate, jump on the back and it was
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  pouring the rain. We got to the Cross Keys Hotel
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  and both bloody brown and went in the front bar and there's
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  nobody there except the Barber. A little into your head.
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  And next thing I turn around there's a pint of beer sitting
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  there. And I said, Fred, I can't drink,
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  I'm underage. It was 21 year old illegal
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  drinking in those days. And yeah, he said, don't worry
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  Abbott, there's only the Barber near and he even a serpent we
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  did, didn't want us to drink it. So we drank him and I had
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  another couple, I think. And then Freddie asked me
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  whether I'd take around to see this guy had an argument with
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  the night before. He wanted to sort him out.
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  And being a people pleaser like I was, you know, I just said,
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  you know, where his boat will go around there.
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  And we went around there, but there was no fight or nothing.
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  We just sat down and talk and got drunk together, the three of
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  us. And that was the beginning of
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  back on the drink. And that's how chanting and
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  baffling and powerful this disease is.
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  You know, I was no sort of picking that alcoholic drink up
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  till that day. And yeah, I was didn't drink for
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  2 1/2 years and I was 13. But there it was sitting in
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  front of me and drink it, you know, and the way I went, just
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  picked it up, a king of Zika drank.
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  I drank it yesterday. And yeah, I didn't get in a lot
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  of trouble to start with. But eventually I was getting
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  into trouble with the law, hanging around with the
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  environment, people that, you know, broke into places and that
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  and stealing stuff. Now, I never did it, but I was
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  part of the driver of the car at times, you know, because I
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  always had a car that, yeah, eventually ended up courts and
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  receiving stolen goods because they were in my car.
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  And 15 1/2, we've got a two year bond.
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  And I got through that. And by the time I was 18, things
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  were getting worse and I ended up selling a police officer at
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  the age of 18. And, you know, I graduated to
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  jail. And so it was a little bit
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  different going to jails and going to boys home.
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  So I found out a little bit harder in those places because
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  the Adelaide jail where I end up doing 21 days without assault
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  charge, we come out of there. It didn't really change me.
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  As soon as I look out of that jail, I'll look straight across
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  to the pub, which is not not far from where the jail was.
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  And the money I'd earned in there I just spent straight away
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  at the bar. And you know, I didn't get
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  drunk, but I spent what I had so that I didn't treat when I was
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  in there because he couldn't get it.
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  But I certainly it was in my mind as soon as I left there to
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  go straight to the pub. And that's where I went and I
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  ended up having to walk only Six Mile home.
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  It's a kill burn because I didn't have no money left.
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  But eventually I I didn't get home.
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  I got to the the Blairafa Hotel and met a few friends there and
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  they gave me some money. So I didn't really get home till
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  the very late that night, you know, without in the morning.
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  And my parents weren't very happy, you know, so they would,
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  I, I used to come home most of the time and just go to bed, But
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  occasionally I'd have this build up of pressure inside of me and
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  I'd come home and my poor parents used to have to put up
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  with the stupidity. I used to, you know, carry on
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  and upset her, upset my parents and upset the neighbors.
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  And they started saying a few things or anything.
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  So it was pretty crazy to love. By the time I was 19, I, I ended
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  up, I thought, I better get out of SA.
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  The police are getting to know me too well.
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  I never really want to go back to jail.
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  And I jumped on my motorbike. It's done travelling up to the
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  East Coast. I thought, you know, I'd start a
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  new life, you know, get away from down here and try it fresh
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  up there, get another job and maybe get another girlfriend
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  and, you know, work hard and save money and have a good life,
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  you know. And that's what I wanted to do,
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  you know. But every time I, I tried that,
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  I took me with me, the problem was still there.
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  I never done nothing about it. And it always got worse.
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  And I started to hang around in bike clubs in the Eastern States
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  and I didn't join any. But I, I like being around them
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  because I've always ridden motorbikes and I enjoyed the
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  bike riding part of it, but I didn't really enjoy all the
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  other stuff that went on. And I had to be pretty well
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  drinking to be around that sort of atmosphere because I never
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  grew up with that sort of that atmosphere around me, you know,
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  grew up in a quiet family. But I like clubs are a little
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  bit different. Some of them don't even need a
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  drink to do stupid things. They're pretty crazy without it,
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  you know. And I need to drink a beer
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  around them. Otherwise I was shaking mess.
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  And by the time I was 18, I remember one of my mates come
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  around my place and I was cleaning my motorbike and he
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  said your hands a bit shaky, Bluey.
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  And I said, yeah, I reckon that's that bloody play I ate
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  the Speedway lasts on it and I and I just laughed.
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  He just laughed. He said I know what you're
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  niece, the hair and the dog. And I said, what's that?
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  He said you got a couple bottles of beer in the fridge And I
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  said, yeah, so go and grab one of them and we'll have a bottle
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  of beer. So you feel after that and that
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  was the beginning of picking up a dragon of the lights to get
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  rid of the shakes. And sometimes it worked and
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  sometimes it didn't work. It didn't get rid of the shakes.
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  It got worse over the years. But it's 3 or 4, four DUI
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  chargers traveling around Australia.
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  But I still rode my motorbike from one state and the next,
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  every time I got a fine, I left the fine.
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  I said, yeah, I'll pay it and I give you time to pay it.
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  And as soon as I got out the cord, I'd get my point where I
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  was working and jump on my motor where I can tick off again, you
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  know, and go to another state. And the same thing with Pete
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  itself all the time, you know, at the same idea to settle down
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  and nice girlfriend, maybe get married one day and have kids
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  and, you know, the old Home Sweet Home sign.
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  So I was on my mind. That's what I wanted in life.
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  But it never happened, just every time I picked up a drink
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  it took those things away from me.
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  Good jobs, but women, you know, and it was just getting worse
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  and worse. Eventually I got away from the
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  bike clubs and went up to the Darwin and sort of running away
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  from me WASP because I got beat up pretty bad by night and I
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  thought, well these are my friends, I'm not going to hang
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  around with them anymore. Then I took off the Darwin and
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  met one of my mates up there and he gave me a job in the pub.
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  And for an alcoholic I think that's the the worst thing it
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  could happen because alcohol was around here 24 hours a day and I
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  was getting fairly drunk and doing my job all the time.
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  And eventually the manager was starting to slap me and they
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  said you're drinking too much Nobby, you know, you can't come
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  in like this and go to work. And I said yeah, OK, yes.
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  And they give me a job working on the the door at night when we
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  had dancers, the disco dancers and that.
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  And as a bouncer, well, not a real big fella.
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  So I used to try to talk people down, you know, try to quieten
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  them down more so than rapping of her anything.
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  And eventually one night I was helping my mate out.
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  He went outside quieting the crowd down and he didn't come
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  back in for a while. So I said to my boss, I better
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  go out there and see what's going on.
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  When I went out there, my mate was up against the wall.
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  He'd been stabbed three times in the back and I grabbed the guy
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  that was doing it and he spat around.
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  He stabbed me with a knife too and that that really scared me
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  and I cut my arm pretty bad. He cut on my nerve.
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  The blood was pouring out, we couldn't use it.
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  And I just took off running down the bloody Rd. with this guy's
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  chasing me and I reckon I ran the fastest around in my life.
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  And I end up going behind a Bush, the back of the back of
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  the nightclub and trying not to breathe, you know, because your
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  heart's pounding. You think they're going to hear
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  you, they're going to hear you. And they say I'm going to tap on
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  the shoulder and happen to be the manager that scared the hell
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  out of now just about had a heart attack and he said you
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  better come inside and have Bluey.
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  The guys have gone and you and your mate better get to
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  hospital. The ambulance is coming.
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  So that's what we did. But after that I sort of this
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  kind of a bit of a lung and a drinking didn't trust people
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  very much after that. We didn't get no treatment in
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  those days for trauma, you know, accidents or like that was just
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  saw you up and kick you out the hospital.
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  That's what they did. So I, I got another DUI charge
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  in Darwin and then I ended up taking off from that one and
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  coming back to trying to get back to Adelaide.
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  I'm a motorbike and I got as far as Tenant Creek and I actually
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  got caught while Sarson police going through Tenant Creek and
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  he got, he put me in the jail there and I didn't know what was
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  going to happen and they checked around Australia.
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  I didn't have computers in those days.
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  I had to do it all by phone but that they ended up checking up
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  and they found out I had $1300 in warrants all around
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  Australia. I hadn't paid Plus I was riding
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  my motorbike without, you know, on the suspension Wallace, so I
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  didn't know what was going to happen.
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  I was in this little chicken pen Tenon Creek, the little jail out
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  back and this guy come over. He said looking through the wire
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  there and he said is that you fluid?
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  No looks at him. What?
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  Oh shit, that's Bill. I rode down the West Coast with
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  him a couple of years before and Darwin and he remembered me, you
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  know, and he said what are you doing in there?
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  And I told him the story said oh, we can fix that up for you
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  Louise, no worries, we'll get some money.
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  And the girl borrowed the money off the bank manager and got me
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  out of there and I got a job and was paying him back over the
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  weeks every week I got paid up money back till.
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  But the two guys that helped me, they ended up robbing the bank.
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  So they ended up in jail in there.
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  And I ended up getting out of Tanner Creek about 2:00 in the
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  morning so that we couldn't get caught riding my motorbike.
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  And just I was leaving the caravan park and they had to
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  come in, was the Sergeant that caught me and he just looked at
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  me and shook his head. And I just jumped on me
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  motorbike and headed back to Darwin.
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  Yes, that's a crime. Does that happen?
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  The girl I had at that time, she tried to commit suicide.
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  I come home one day and found blood in the Caribbean running
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  out through the door. And she was lying there numb,
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  bleeding, none. So what the hell, I had to take
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  her up the hospital. You know, all these things were
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  happening more and more. You know, it wasn't a very happy
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  life I was having. And yeah, it was, it was what I
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  created. You know, there's, I can't blame
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  anybody else today. And I knew of I'd come terms
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  with it when I got to AI eventually, you know, I got back
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  to Adelaide and, and a few operations and I met a young
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  lady with a couple kids and I ended up marrying that Lady and
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  she was calling me and I got like within 12 months.
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  And I said, I've got to do something about this.
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  I, I get off me back. I, we'll call it AI and go to
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  the meeting, didn't know much about a A so I walked in pretty,
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  pretty blind. My wife made made sure I got
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  there and I sat in that meeting with about a dozen people.
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  Really used to smoke in the rooms in those days.
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  I'm not a smoker. Well, I sat there with me, eyes
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  closed and I listened to people share their stories and I've got
• 17:22
  an identification for that very first meeting.
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  Every person I spoke to economic told the part of me, those
• 17:28
  things, I had done similar things.
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  And I thought, well, maybe I do have a problem, you know, with
• 17:37
  alcohol. I, I didn't admit it that night,
• 17:41
  but I left that meeting and something happened the next
• 17:45
  morning because I didn't pick a drink up.
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  That's the first time that it happened to me for a lot of
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  years and I got to another meeting and I'd done that for 9
• 17:56
  weeks, but I didn't save the marriage that life had already
• 17:59
  planned to leave and I didn't know how to handle those
• 18:03
  feelings emotionally. Being sober.
• 18:05
  I always drank through things like that and eventually I
• 18:10
  picked up a drink, you know, and with that one drink, that first
• 18:15
  drink done the damage. And I heard in the room said
• 18:18
  many times, that's that first drink, Bluey, that does the
• 18:22
  damage, not the 4th or the 5th or the 6th.
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  And I used to think, you know, that's how much you drink that
• 18:27
  does the damage. But it's not.
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  It's the first drink sets of compulsion in my mind to want to
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  have another and another because I'm an alcoholic.
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  It's the most natural thing for me to do.
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  It calms my head down. So yeah, that's what I did and
• 18:42
  came home and I upset the wife and kids.
• 18:45
  And this is like Christmas Eve 1983.
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  So I wouldn't a very good Christmas.
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  And she put up and left and I was there by myself.
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  And then I didn't know what was going to happen when I had a
• 18:57
  roof over my head the next day or whatever.
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  But I had a lot of thinking and I sat on the back doorstep
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  thinking about what's going to happen to my life and where I'm
• 19:09
  going to be. And strange thing happened, the
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  a, a things I've heard in these rooms and that nine weeks
• 19:17
  started to come back to me and I remember, and I would remember
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  saying to me, maybe you've got the disease, alcoholism bloody.
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  It's a disease, mate, you know, and I, I was in denial of having
• 19:31
  your disease. You know, disease to me is what
• 19:33
  a cancer leprosphere or some other medical disease.
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  I couldn't understand them saying alcoholism is a, a
• 19:41
  fighting disease. And today I understand that and
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  I believe that day I accept them.
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  I suffer from a disease called alcohol.
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  And once I did that, I believe the compulsion left me to want
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  to have another drink. I have need to pick another
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  drink up since that day and I've got back to where I only drank
• 20:01
  for that one day. Thank you.
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  And I asked God for help that day and I believe he gave it to
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  me. And that not that I'm a
• 20:10
  religious person. I believe in a God today.
• 20:13
  My understanding. Then he helps me get through
• 20:17
  whatever happens in my life and it's we'll keep it fairly
• 20:21
  simple. Today we've got a 12 step
• 20:24
  program he goes through in AI and we did that over a lot.
• 20:29
  That helped me get rid of a lot of rubbish I had, I was hanging
• 20:32
  on to for a lot of years from childhood write ups from an
• 20:36
  adult life. I had to learn how to live
• 20:39
  again. I had to learn how to grow and
• 20:43
  to be out there in the community.
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  And the wife left and I ended up with a couple of kids to look
• 20:49
  after and that was good. The best thing I think could
• 20:52
  have happened for me, I didn't think so at the time, of course,
• 20:55
  was the IT was the worst thing in the world being done with a
• 20:59
  couple kids and a lot of bulls and deaths.
• 21:04
  But I know today it was the best thing that could have happened
• 21:07
  because I knew I had some be a responsible person at last, you
• 21:12
  know, I couldn't keep running away from things anymore.
• 21:15
  So I took my two boys on, two young boys, and I was set with a
• 21:19
  daughter. They're adults these days and
• 21:22
  got their own families. And you know, life today is
• 21:26
  pretty good. You know, I end up remarried
• 21:30
  again and a couple more kids from that marriage.
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  I have a daughter that sucks from the same disease.
• 21:36
  She's in NT. She's still suffering for it,
• 21:41
  unfortunately, still drinking and dragging.
• 21:44
  But I, I pray for her. I've tried to help with me.
• 21:50
  Like all I can do now is just pray.
• 21:52
  And when she's already, she'll try the help she needs to do it.
• 21:55
  Son of the life. Today is pretty good though.
• 21:59
  You know, I'll be tired today. I had a job for 30 years and I
• 22:03
  couldn't stick a job out for 12 months when I was drinking.
• 22:07
  Yeah, the big turn around when you get sober and you got to put
• 22:11
  the footwear in, of course. And life is getting better one
• 22:15
  day at a time. Still have the ups and downs,
• 22:17
  but but I'd need to pick a drink up to coat and that's what makes
• 22:22
  things. I'm not going to, you know.
• 22:25
  Yeah. So I for much more I can say
• 22:30
  this thing is getting about the time.
• 22:34
  So I'll end there and I hope someone can get some help from
• 22:41
  what I've just said, maybe the day of the time they pick up
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  their first train and keep coming back to meetings and I'll
• 22:50
  leave it there. Thanks very much.
• 22:52
  Good on you, Bluey. Thanks a lot for doing that.
• 22:55
  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
• 23:00
  Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00. Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00.
• 23:06
  Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at
• 23:12
  8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at 8:00.
• 23:17
  There's a meeting at Devron Park at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a
• 23:21
  maintenance Salisbury at 7:00 and many of the maintenance in
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  the area. For details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300 Double 22222.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 Double 00000.
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  The website isaasa.org dot AU.