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Can a narcissist ever gain more empathy and become and "empath"? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about narcissist and empathy.
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  Can a narcissist gain more empathy?
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  Can a narcissist turn into an impact?
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  Is it possible? If you're new here, My name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. So welcome back, Welcome back,
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  welcome back. Y'all.
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  Narcissist and empathy. Tough, tough topic.
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  A lot of people don't want me to cover this topic, the the tough
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  topics and whatnot, but we're just we're going to do it today
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  anyway. This is what we're going to do.
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  We're going to cover the we cover the tough topics.
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  Can a narcissist turn into an impact over time?
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  Can they change their behavior? Yeah.
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  Yeah. So long short answer, no,
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  narcissist cannot be impacts. That's like it's I'm not going
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  to say narcissist is the opposite of impasse, but because
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  empaths, yeah, if people highly sensitive people empaths.
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  There's so many different iterations or types of empaths,
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  I've kind of lost count. I've hear people call them super
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  empaths, dark empaths, super herkoya empaths, supernova
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  empaths. I'm like the flying empath, the,
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  you know, the flying impact that the swoops, the swoops in from
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  above and takes out the narcissist anyway.
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  And there's so many different types of empath.
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  But narcissist? I don't think narcissist can be
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  empaths. Y'all.
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  Can narcissists have empathy? Yeah, a lot of narcissists do
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  have empathy, Y'all, But it's like selective empathy.
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  It's more cognitive empathy. It's more empathy towards this
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  the people that are that are affecting them the most, the
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  people that are closest to them. You may self.
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  A lot of people might refer to that as self-serving empathy,
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  like the empathy that serves them.
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  But is that empathy at all? You know what I mean.
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  So me personally, I know lack of empathy is one of the
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  diagnosable criteria for narcissistic personality
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  disorder. And you have to have five out of
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  the 95 out of the 9 to be diagnosed, right?
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  But you don't have to have a lack of empathy to technically
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  be a diagnosed narcissist because you can move those
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  traits around. And lack of empathy doesn't
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  necessarily have to be one of the traits that fall into the
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  diagnosis of being a narcissist. You see what I'm saying?
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  Do a lot of narcissists lack empathy?
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  Absolutely, yes. But some narcissists, there's
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  varying levels. It's a spectrum.
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  Y'all it is a spectrum. There's varying levels of
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  narcissists and empathy and whatnot.
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  There's a lot of, there's a bunch of varying levels of it
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  and whatnot. So I'm just telling you, that's
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  why I tell people, just like if you're dealing with narcissists
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  and talks to people, this is kind of this is part of the
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  dynamic of dealing with it. This is what you are going to
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  experience it sometimes when you're dealing with narcissistic
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  people that a lot of them don't have a lot of empathy to go
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  around. Oh Oh my goodness.
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  I just realized y'all I had. I did something on TikTok and I
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  deleted some videos I recorded earlier because I had to delete
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  the Dang on app. Oh my goodness, that sucks so
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  bad. That's annoying.
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  That's super annoying because those are some fire videos too.
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  If I do say it's with myself. But yeah, that happens.
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  So narcissists like, so I personally have more, I would
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  say I have emotional empathy. Yeah, there's two different
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  types of empathy, correct? Like when you when you talk
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  about narcissists, there's two different types of empathy.
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  There's emotional effective empathy and then there's
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  cognitive empathy. I think a lot of narcissists
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  have more cognitive empathy and then emotional empathy.
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  And this is just anecdotal, y'all, I mean y'all can do the
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  research and hit me up in the conversation or shoot me an
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  e-mail with some statistics and whatnot if you want to do the
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  research. But most narcissists, I would
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  say have more the cognitive empathy.
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  Because cognitive empathy means I see you what you're going
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  through. I can acknowledge what you're
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  going through. I see that your goldfish is
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  belly up and I see that you had this goldfish for a long time.
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  It it, this goldfish has broke the living record of goldfish,
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  right? You just goldfish got you
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  through college. You used to cry in the
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  goldfish's tank and your tears used to Sally, add salt to the
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  water. You know what I mean?
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  I've seen like, I can understand that you're sad, but I just
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  don't connect to it on an emotional level or the impact or
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  somebody with a lot, a lot of empathy could connect to you on
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  that level. They might cry with you.
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  They might add some tears, some salt water to the tank as well.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like, I don't think most
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  narcissists are going to cry with you on certain certain
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  circumstances like that. You know, can they get to that
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  point through therapy? I still don't think they can get
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  to that point through therapy. And that's just me.
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  This is just me. Y'all this is just me making an
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  observation because I know some other stuff.
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  Or narcissists will watch my video.
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  They'll get angry and just say no, Lee, I will cry.
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  Or if you ow, would you? I know it is y'all.
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  I know the 2024 is going to be the same type of stuff going I
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  go through. But that's what happens.
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  Y'all that's the space that a lot of a lot of narcissists fall
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  into. Like the more cognitive empathy.
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  They're not going to, they're not going to connect to you on
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  an emotional level, even when you're hurt, even when you're
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  sad. It's almost impossible for a
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  narcissist to put themselves in your shoes.
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  They can put themselves in your shoes, like cognitively they can
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  acknowledge, hey, I see I have these shoes on.
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  These are some nice Nike shoes. They just don't fit me.
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  They're not my size. I wore a size 13 DS.
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  These are a size 7. I get half my foot in there.
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  I can walk. I can walk in these Nikes like I
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  have on some stiletto pumps in the club.
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  You know what I mean? I can walk.
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  I can walk on them like I'm going to get the grocery or
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  something like that. But I they don't fit me.
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  I can see that they're shoes. I can understand that they're
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  shoes, but they just don't fit me.
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  You understand what I'm saying? So that's how a lot of
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  narcissists see the situation. I don't think you can transition
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  from being a toxic, narcissistic person to be an empath, being an
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  all knowing impact so that you cross your damn legs and start
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  floating. You have so much empathy that
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  you can cross your legs and start floating into the damn
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  air. I don't think that happens.
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  I don't think that's going to happen, you know, within that
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  space. I don't think that's going to
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  happen within that dynamic. It just doesn't happen.
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  I'm not. I'm not.
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  Again, y'all. I'm not saying that to to
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  irritate people, to make people mad, but like, that's the space
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  that a lot of people fall into right there.
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  Like the narcissistic person that you're dealing with might
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  not ever feel that same way about.
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  They might not ever cry on your shoulder.
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  They might not ever be there with you.
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  They might not ever be there for you.
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  And this is something you have to process and ask yourself, is
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  this going to be OK with it? Are you OK with the current
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  level of empathy that you're experiencing in your
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  relationship? Is it?
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  Are you? Because if you're not, the
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  chances of the chances of them becoming an impact or zero, the
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  chances of them gaining gaining more emotional empathy are
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  probably super low as well. Can they gain more cognitive,
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  cognitive empathy and understand where you're coming from a
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  little bit more through years of psychotherapy?
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  Possibly. I'm not going to say no, because
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  that's what I've done through six years of therapy.
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  But getting them to to admit that they have a problem,
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  getting them to therapy, that's the big issue right there.
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  Y'all that's the large, that's the issue at hand right there.
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  That's the large issue. That's the big old butt issue
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  right there. Y'all it is.
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  Getting them there and asking them, making commitment and
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  asking them to make to put the work in for themselves is going
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  to be tough. So ask yourself right now, are
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  you OK with the level of empathy that you're receiving?
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  And the thing about it is some people will say yes, some people
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  say yes. And I'm not here to judge
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  anybody, but there are people that would say yes.
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  As long as I get a little bit of empathy every once in a while,
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  I'm OK. I just don't want to leave this
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  person. I have, You know, there's
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  there's a thing called the sunk cost fallacy where people feel
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  like, well, I got six years in this league.
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  I'm not leaving right now. I got 10 years in this.
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  I'm not leaving right now. And I like that.
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  At the end of the day, I understand that space.
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  But the time that you, the time that you put into this
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  relationship is already spent. You can't get it back.
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  The money you put into this relationship is already spent.
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  You can't get it back. The emotional struggle, strife
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  you put into this relationship, it's already spent.
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  You can't get it back. So if you can't get it back, why
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  would you keep pulling more resources into it?
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  It's like a pit. You pointed into a pit.
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  You know when you keep pulling to the pit, you keep thinking.
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  You think. You keep thinking that you're
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  going to get a return on an investment and it never and it
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  never happens for you. And then you become angry with
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  who? Who are you going to be angry
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  at? Them.
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  If you're watching this video, who are you going to be angry
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  at? You have to turn that anger
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  finger towards you because you have all the information
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  presented in front of you. And I asked you the question,
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  are you OK with how things are right now?
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  Because a lot of people ask me, do narcissists change?
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  I don't like can narcissists change?
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  Like, what if they don't? What if I just say absolutely
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  not. The question I would have to ask
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  you. The question you have to ask
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  yourself is are you OK with how things are right now in this
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  relationship? If nothing were to change, are
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  you OK if nothing were to change?
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  If not, if no behavior is changed, if no behavior is
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  altered, if everything remained exactly the same way it is right
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  now, would you be OK? But you could you look back at
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  your life and this time period, be like, I made the right
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  decision to stay 10 extra years. I I made the right decision to
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  spend the rest of my life with this person even though I didn't
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  get empathy, even though I didn't get respect, even though
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  they never reciprocated anything, even though they act
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  like nothing I did for them was good enough.
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  I'm happy with the decision I made.
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  Can you, if you can live with that, perfect.
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  Fine. It's not.
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  It's your life. It's your life.
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  It's not the life that anybody else is going to live.
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  It's the life that you're going to live.
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  It's the life that you're going to experience.
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  It's the life that you're going to have to be OK with at the end
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  of it. So life is finite.
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  It really, really is. So I don't think narcissist is
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  going to become impasse for you. You know what I mean?
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  I just, I know people are going to say, well, I've seen
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  narcissists become empath. I've seen it before that if
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  you've seen it, I I I have it. You know, I've been diagnosed
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  with narcissists for over six years now, for 2018.
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  So, oh, it'll be six years in January.
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  So it's been six years, seven years of therapy between 24.
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  So I haven't seen it. I haven't gotten it myself.
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  So you can compare and contrast to me like, well, leave my
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  narcissistic persons better than you.
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  Well, more power to them and more power to you.
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  But I don't think that they're going to gain more empathy.
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  I don't think they're going to connect to you.
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  Can they fake it for a little while to get you to feel good
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  about yourself? To get you to feel good about
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  the situation? To trust them again?
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  Yeah, they can fake anything. Anybody can fake anything for
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  any for a short period of time. Y'all to get their needs met.
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  Anybody can fake anything in order to get their needs met.
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  So ask yourself, are you OK with what is going on right now?
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  Are you fine with the behaviour is right now?
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  Because that's the question you're going to ask.
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  Have to ask yourself, You mean envision yourself on the
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  deathbed years down the road and then see where you go from
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  there? Because that's the way it goes.
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  Y'all anyways, y'all they start to play music downstairs.
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  I don't want the YouTube to pick it up and cancel my video.
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  So like and subscribe for more Missy Hun this is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:27
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• 11:30
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• 11:32
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.