Latest / Barnyard Language / Planners, priorities, and ponies with Alison Weaver and Navigate 2023

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Planners, priorities, and ponies with Alison Weaver and Navigate 2023 · Barnyard Language

• 0:13
  Welcome to Barnyard Language.
• 0:14
  We are Katie and Arlene, an Iowa sheep farmer, and an Ontario dairy
• 0:18
  farmer with six kids, two husbands, and a whole lot of chaos between us.
• 0:23
  So kick off your boots, reheat your coffee, and join us for some
• 0:27
  barnyard language, honest talk about running farms and raising families.
• 0:32
  In case your kids haven't already learned all the swears from being in the barn,
• 0:35
  it might be a good idea to put on some headphones or turn down the volume.
• 0:39
  While many of our guests are professionals, they
• 0:41
  aren't your professionals.
• 0:42
  If you need personalized advice, consult your people.
• 0:47
  Welcome to another episode of Barnyard Language.
• 0:49
  It's Arlene and Katie here as usual.
• 0:51
  And Katie, what is going on on the farm in Iowa?
• 0:54
  What's the update?
• 0:56
  Well, Arlene, we're trying out some new recording software today, so if.
• 0:59
  This episode sounds way better.
• 1:01
  That's why.
• 1:01
  And if this episode sounds terrible, that's why.
• 1:05
  Um, yeah, it's new.
• 1:06
  It'll sound great.
• 1:06
  We'll see what happens.
• 1:07
  Yeah.
• 1:07
  I have faith.
• 1:09
  Um, other than that, we moved the cows out on Cornstalks last week, so I got
• 1:14
  a lot of work done while I was not sleeping because we had, we, uh, weed
• 1:20
  some calves and there was a lot of noise.
• 1:22
  So I, uh, was able to get up extra early benefits of a flexible remote
• 1:28
  job and get some extra work done.
• 1:31
  Um, other than that, not a lot.
• 1:34
  It's cold, it's windy.
• 1:36
  Um, Thanksgiving happened.
• 1:38
  What's the update?
• 1:39
  Thanksgiving happened, um, there was a shit ton of food.
• 1:44
  And Are you still eating it?
• 1:45
  I, no, in a wasteful but beneficial twist of fate.
• 1:52
  The Turkey carcass got popped back in the oven to protect it from the cat.
• 1:56
  And then I had a migraine Thanksgiving afternoon and so the Turkey carcass
• 2:00
  was still in the oven the next day.
• 2:03
  Got it.
• 2:03
  Um, which really, so it went to the cats anyway.
• 2:06
  Yeah.
• 2:06
  The barn cats really appreciated it.
• 2:09
  Yeah.
• 2:09
  Um, but yeah, so, uh, lots of food and I made another pumpkin pie this week
• 2:16
  because I only got one little slice on Thanksgiving and Oh, that is not enough.
• 2:19
  I freaking love pumpkin pie.
• 2:21
  So I just made it.
• 2:22
  Did you know there's like not a law that you can't make pumpkin
• 2:25
  pie whenever the hell you want.
• 2:27
  That is true.
• 2:28
  And it's a vegetable.
• 2:30
  It is.
• 2:30
  So you can eat it for breakfast because it's healthy.
• 2:32
  Yes, absolutely.
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  Yeah, because if you put whipped cream on it, it's basically a complete meal.
• 2:36
  Yeah.
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  It's got basically all the food groups.
• 2:38
  It's got dairy, it's got, there's, yeah, there's eggs in it, there's
• 2:40
  protein, it's got eggs, it's got milk.
• 2:43
  Yeah.
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  It's nature's most complete food.
• 2:45
  It really is.
• 2:47
  I hope the pumpkin board is listening.
• 2:48
  Maybe they want to sponsor us there.
• 2:50
  Yeah.
• 2:51
  Is there a pumpkin board?
• 2:52
  You know, it's, it probably is.
• 2:53
  Yeah.
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  I'm sure there.
• 2:55
  Yes.
• 2:55
  Um, other than that, not much.
• 2:59
  Just getting ready for Christmas and the girl child's birthday is
• 3:02
  on the day this comes out actually.
• 3:05
  So she'll be six.
• 3:07
  And is the party happening before her birthday or after
• 3:10
  It's happening the day before.
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  Oh, thank goodness.
• 3:12
  Then you don't have to wait now.
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  Is it happening early in the day?
• 3:15
  Because that used to be over lunchtime.
• 3:18
  Okay.
• 3:19
  That's pretty good intentionally because I figured I can, like, I'm gonna do a, uh, a
• 3:25
  unicorn themed snack board with, you know, star shaped cheese and little sandwiches
• 3:30
  and, um, you can color powdered sugar with fruit coloring, which I didn't know.
• 3:36
  So I'm gonna make puppy chow, which is healthy because it has
• 3:39
  peanut butter and cereal in it.
• 3:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:42
  , it's a whole grain, right?
• 3:44
  Yeah.
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  So it's, it's healthy.
• 3:45
  I mean, on the one hand, I don't really give a shit because A, it's
• 3:48
  a special event, and B, they're not my kids, not all of them.
• 3:51
  Uh, , but also I know what my kids are like if I crank 'em full of sugar and
• 3:57
  no protein and no, not no crazy, like sugar makes them hyper kind of way.
• 4:03
  But in a, if you spike their blood sugar and then their blood sugar tanks,
• 4:07
  that doesn't do anybody any good.
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  Sure.
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  Yeah.
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  Um, so I spent an obscene amount of money on unicorn themed party supplies,
• 4:17
  and this better be the most magical fucking birthday this kid has ever had.
• 4:22
  And maybe she'll still be into unicorns next year and you can Yeah.
• 4:25
  Pull them all out again.
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  I mean, in, in all of our defense, this is the first friend birthday we've
• 4:31
  been able to have because of Covid.
• 4:33
  Mm-hmm.
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  . So, you know, we've got a couple, couple years to make up for.
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  Yeah.
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  And I'll let you know how it goes.
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  , I did hire our normal babysitter to come and help at the party.
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  Mm-hmm.
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  , which I think is a real stroke of genius.
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  I'm feel very good about that.
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  Yeah, that is definitely a good idea.
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  We did that for very many years and it was a huge help.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Um, cuz they love her and she loves them and I mean obviously I love them, but
• 5:01
  they're loud and there's a lot of them.
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  Yeah.
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  So it's nice to have an extra set of hands.
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  Yeah, for sure.
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  And if you're yeah.
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  Putting out food or helping out someone else's kid or any of
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  those types of things, it's always good to have extra adults around
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  that you can tell what to do.
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  Right.
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  Yeah.
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  I mean, you might have parents stick around but you don't know for sure.
• 5:20
  Some people drop off, some people stick around you.
• 5:23
  That's, uh, kind of a toss up sometimes.
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  Well, and um, because my kids are so close in age, a lot of the boy child's
• 5:30
  friends are coming as well because it's pretty common around here that there
• 5:33
  are siblings who are quite close in age.
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  Um, and it seems really rude to be like one of your kids can come.
• 5:40
  the other one cannot come play with her friends.
• 5:43
  Mm-hmm.
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  , because the kids are all about the same age.
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  They're all friends.
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  Yeah.
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  Um, so we ended up with some extra kids that way too.
• 5:49
  And I just, you know, plus the babysitter's cool.
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  She's not a mom, you know, she's really like 19.
• 5:56
  She's fun, you know, and she can tell 'em they can do whatever the hell they want.
• 6:00
  And it's not like I'm being that mom who's just like, do whatever.
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  I don't care.
• 6:06
  Yeah.
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  Now do, um, do barn tours end up part of birthday parties at your place,
• 6:11
  or I guess you don't know yet, but, uh, is that on the, on the schedule?
• 6:16
  Kind of doubt it with kids this age and it's very cold out.
• 6:21
  Um, so I'd be kind of surprised for the boy child's birthday.
• 6:24
  I think it will because there's tractors, but mm-hmm.
• 6:27
  for the girl child.
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  I think with, um, unicorns and snacks and it being freaking cold out, I think
• 6:36
  they'll probably stay in the house.
• 6:37
  That's an interesting question.
• 6:38
  I didn't consider it.
• 6:40
  . Um, so what's happening at your place, Arlene?
• 6:44
  Well, we don't have Thanksgiving.
• 6:45
  Well, I mean, we already had Thanksgiving back in October, so it
• 6:48
  wasn't technically a long weekend for us, but then it kind of turned
• 6:52
  into one because our school had, uh, professional development day for teachers.
• 6:57
  So that means men's, the kids didn't go to school on Friday.
• 7:00
  So what would've been your Black Friday?
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  Which in Canada ends up being kind of Black Friday people don't have
• 7:06
  the day off, but they put a bunch of stuff on sale because Americans do.
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  I don't know.
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  It's one of those weird hybrid Canadian things.
• 7:14
  So because we had an extra day off, um, my daughter and I had decided
• 7:19
  that we would go on a road trip.
• 7:21
  So we actually crossed the border for the first time in several years.
• 7:27
  Um, their restrictions.
• 7:29
  Gone and we knew that wait times wouldn't be as long as they were before.
• 7:33
  You didn't have to do any special paperwork or anything.
• 7:36
  So we went down to Syracuse, which is just under three hours away
• 7:41
  from us here in Eastern Ontario.
• 7:43
  So yeah, went down to New York State and started looking for a prom dress.
• 7:48
  So we actually stayed over two nights, drove down on Friday afternoon.
• 7:52
  I'd milked in the morning, then took a bit of a nap because I wanted to make sure
• 7:56
  that I was good to go for a longer drive.
• 7:59
  Um, yes, I had a couple appointments booked on Saturday to look at dresses,
• 8:04
  and actually picked and bought one by the end of that day, and then also went to the
• 8:11
  giant mall in Syracuse and looked around.
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  We went to two different targets.
• 8:17
  Do you know the story of Canadian target?
• 8:20
  , I heard that it was a thing and then it stopped being a thing.
• 8:23
  Yes.
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  So they brief, maybe it's just not love, cute shit.
• 8:26
  Or like, what's, what's your problem up there?
• 8:29
  So we had, we had a store called Zes and it was like a discount chain.
• 8:33
  It was, it was fine.
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  Anyway, it, it had been around for a long time and they went outta business,
• 8:40
  so they closed and then we'd never had Target, it had just never come to Canada.
• 8:45
  So Target ended up taking on a bunch of those Zeller's locations and they
• 8:51
  did a big expansion across Canada, kind of all in one foul swoop.
• 8:55
  You know, like they put a, I don't know how many, how many hundreds
• 8:58
  of locations, all kind of within a very short amount of time.
• 9:03
  Um, but due to supply issues and the way they had to purchase products and stuff,
• 9:09
  it was not as good as the American target.
• 9:13
  It was still pretty good.
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  I mean, it was nice, but it was.
• 9:16
  More expensive than the stores that they had replaced.
• 9:19
  And it was new for a lot of people cuz if people didn't do cross-border
• 9:23
  shopping, they didn't know about Target.
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  And so I think they just kind of got ahead of themselves in terms
• 9:29
  of like expanding really fast.
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  And then the market didn't, didn't quite work out the way they thought.
• 9:35
  So it was here for a short time and then it went bankrupt so
• 9:38
  then they all closed again.
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  So we actually had a Target like five minutes from my house
• 9:44
  for about two years and it was amazing and then it disappeared.
• 9:50
  And is there Walmart in Canada or not?
• 9:53
  Yes.
• 9:53
  Yeah.
• 9:53
  So we've had Walmart for quite a while.
• 9:55
  Yeah.
• 9:55
  Okay.
• 9:56
  What can you tell me about, is it Canadian Tire, which is apparently not an auto
• 10:01
  parts store or, well, it has auto parts.
• 10:04
  The auto parts store.
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  Yes.
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  So Canadian Tire would.
• 10:08
  maybe kind of would be a competition for Target, I would say, because
• 10:12
  it has a little bit of food, but not like grocery items.
• 10:16
  Um, especially around Christmas, there's lots in terms of toys and
• 10:20
  games, it's all your garden stuff.
• 10:22
  In the summer there is like a garden center, plus there's all like your shovels
• 10:27
  and rakes and all that kind of stuff.
• 10:28
  That's where you would go for your Christmas lights.
• 10:30
  It's also where you go for your, your sports equipment, especially in small
• 10:33
  towns like your hockey sticks, skates, helmets, all that kind of stuff.
• 10:38
  You can get your things camping supplies is all at Canadian tire
• 10:43
  and kitchen stuff and pet stuff.
• 10:46
  And then lighting.
• 10:49
  Yeah, it's kind of like hardware, but also homeware.
• 10:52
  So, so it sounds like maybe it's more like, um, fleet Farmer, like
• 10:58
  Menards is here, that it's like maybe a little bit home improvement,
• 11:03
  but also some groceries and also.
• 11:05
  pet stuff.
• 11:06
  And also, yeah, so we have like clothing, like random other shit.
• 11:11
  Yes.
• 11:12
  Yeah, they, yeah.
• 11:12
  There is clothing in terms of more so like outdoor wear and
• 11:15
  sportswear, so like, yeah.
• 11:17
  Boots, coats, those types of things.
• 11:19
  But not too much more.
• 11:21
  You can get your hunting stuff there, hunting, fishing,
• 11:23
  all those types of things.
• 11:25
  Yeah.
• 11:26
  Yeah.
• 11:27
  I guess when I, I was in some Facebook group where somebody mentioned Canadian
• 11:31
  Tire, and to me that would be like an auto parts store, like mm-hmm.
• 11:36
  Auto Parts.
• 11:36
  And they were like, yeah, I'm gonna go buy a vacuum cleaner and some kitchen stuff.
• 11:40
  And I was like, yeah.
• 11:42
  All right.
• 11:43
  Yeah, they've actually got some really nice Christmas lines too.
• 11:45
  So this time of year they've got, yeah, all your Christmas
• 11:47
  decorations, like indoor and outdoor stuff, you're inflatable.
• 11:51
  How Christmas shopping do you have done?
• 11:53
  Um, I would say after this weekend there weren't a lot of deals in the states.
• 11:58
  The exchange rate is not great right now, but there is a lot
• 12:01
  of stuff that we can't get here.
• 12:03
  or you have to pay a lot to ship it.
• 12:05
  So it was worth going down in terms of finding some things that I knew would
• 12:09
  be more difficult to get in Canada.
• 12:11
  Um, so I've made some progress.
• 12:13
  It is always hard to figure out at this point how much I've bought for
• 12:17
  the, the remaining birthdays and what's actually going to be for Christmas.
• 12:21
  So I do need to do an inventory.
• 12:23
  But in terms of like the extended family, kind of like the name draws that we've
• 12:27
  done, grandparents, that kind of stuff.
• 12:29
  Definitely making progress.
• 12:32
  I have to say.
• 12:32
  I got the steal of a lifetime yesterday and I feel so good about it.
• 12:36
  The, the girl child, both kids love Gabby Katz.
• 12:40
  It's uh, Gabby's Dollhouse on Netflix.
• 12:43
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:43
  for folks with younger kids.
• 12:45
  It's um, actually a really cute show.
• 12:47
  It's about a girl who's got a dollhouse that she can like go inside of and.
• 12:52
  , you know, whatever.
• 12:53
  Yeah, it's cute.
• 12:54
  Every kid's dream.
• 12:55
  That's what you . Yeah.
• 12:56
  I mean, when I played with Dollhouse, that's what I was thinking of, right?
• 12:59
  The girl child's obsessed.
• 13:00
  I mean, the whole place is populated with little cats.
• 13:03
  It's cute, there's lots of music, it's fun, whatever.
• 13:06
  Um, Walmart yesterday had, she got a Gabby's dollhouse that was supposed to
• 13:12
  be for her birthday, and unfortunately the boy child accidentally told her
• 13:16
  about it, so that got out early.
• 13:19
  Um, but she's been playing with it quite obsessively and I saw there's,
• 13:23
  you know, a number of like add-on pieces and I was walking around looking for her
• 13:28
  birthday gift for her little friend whose birthday is tomorrow, and saw a Gabby's
• 13:34
  dollhouse tag that was marked down to $4.
• 13:36
  And I was like, well, now what is this?
• 13:38
  And there wasn't anything on the shelf.
• 13:39
  I was like, well, that's all right.
• 13:40
  Yeah, it's probably gone.
• 13:42
  And I look around and there is one like on the top shelf, like
• 13:47
  way back in there and it was.
• 13:50
  , an accessory piece that had been close to $40 was marked down to four bucks.
• 13:55
  Sweet.
• 13:56
  And I was showing it to Jim on my phone when I got home because I
• 13:59
  hadn't brought it in the house.
• 14:01
  And the girl child saw it and starts yelling, I want
• 14:04
  that for my birthday, please.
• 14:05
  Mommy, please, can I have that?
• 14:06
  That's the only thing I want.
• 14:08
  And I was like, maybe . I don't know where you might find that thing.
• 14:14
  We'll, tell the birthday fair.
• 14:16
  Uh, you know, and I never thought we'd be that family, but
• 14:21
  we're doing alpha on the shelf.
• 14:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:24
  . Except I didn't, I am not leaning hard into the hole.
• 14:27
  She's spying on you and gonna tell Santa and rat you out.
• 14:30
  Because that seems, I mean, the, the whole idea of Santa,
• 14:33
  like spying on kids is creepy.
• 14:36
  Um, Santa, like having a little, a little snitch in your home all month.
• 14:47
  It's creepier to me.
• 14:49
  . Yeah.
• 14:49
  But the girl chime, just ramp that ramp that, uh, fairytale all the way up.
• 14:53
  She's exactly the right age for this magic.
• 14:56
  Yeah.
• 14:57
  And she is so hard into it.
• 14:58
  She made our alpha little crown.
• 15:00
  She's made her a little book.
• 15:02
  Oh, that's cute.
• 15:03
  It's, it's a whole thing.
• 15:04
  Uh, there's pictures on the Instagram if folks want to see.
• 15:07
  It's, it's pretty fucking cute.
• 15:09
  Yeah.
• 15:09
  Oh yeah.
• 15:11
  So, yeah, as much as a lot of it is more work for us when they're really
• 15:16
  into it and so excited about it, it does make it more fun most of the time.
• 15:22
  Except those mornings when you wake up and realize that you forgot to move it.
• 15:26
  Yeah.
• 15:26
  Well it's the, the upside of the insomnia again.
• 15:29
  That's what I'm already up anyway, so Yeah, there you go.
• 15:32
  And, uh, I will say I'm not putting much effort into setting up scenes.
• 15:38
  Like this morning, the Elf was riding one of the girl child's little toys around.
• 15:42
  It's, you know, It's not easy.
• 15:44
  An elaborate thing.
• 15:45
  Easy.
• 15:45
  Yeah.
• 15:45
  Just position it somewhere new.
• 15:47
  Yeah, she was plenty excited about that.
• 15:50
  So do we have anything else to talk about early?
• 15:52
  I don't think so.
• 15:53
  We will go ahead and lead into our guest for this week.
• 15:56
  All right.
• 15:58
  Today we're joined by Allison Weaver from Alberta, Canada.
• 16:02
  And Allison, we start each of our interviews with the same question
• 16:04
  and this is a way to introduce yourself to our listeners.
• 16:07
  So we ask what are you growing and for our farm guests that can cover crops in
• 16:10
  livestock, but it also covers families, businesses, and lots of other stuff.
• 16:14
  So Allison, what are you growing?
• 16:16
  Well, good morning ladies.
• 16:17
  Right now I'm not growing a whole heck of a lot.
• 16:19
  It's uh, minus 36 and Lloydminster, Alberta and we're covered in snow.
• 16:24
  But as a rule, what we grow on our farm is we go granola, uh, three
• 16:28
  different types of wheat bar.
• 16:31
  When we feel brave, we sow some peas.
• 16:34
  Uh, we have a small livestock hurt.
• 16:37
  My husband and I have grown four children on our farm and we're excited
• 16:41
  to support our daughter and husband as they now are, uh, nurturing and growing.
• 16:46
  Three grandchildren, three their children, our grandchildren on the farm.
• 16:51
  And for fun, I grow horses and I have a collection of dogs for
• 16:56
  our, uh, non Celsius listeners.
• 16:59
  Negative 36 degrees Celsius is negative 33 degrees Fahrenheit, which is much
• 17:04
  worse than I thought it was going to be.
• 17:06
  . So I guess for the Americans in the audience, because we're like the only
• 17:11
  ones who don't use everybody else does it.
• 17:15
  So since we, since we've got farmers in the listening crowd, what kind
• 17:18
  of cows are we talking about?
• 17:19
  Uh, I started out with a small herd of speckled parks, which was a breed
• 17:24
  that was developed right here, uh, in the region that, uh, we live.
• 17:28
  And then we also, we crossbreed them with Angus.
• 17:31
  So we have a commercial herd, a small commercial herd of speckles
• 17:34
  crossed with Black Angus I should say.
• 17:37
  But my daughter has three, four very large delve semial cross cows who think they're
• 17:44
  the queen of the fields and they're big, but she gets beautiful calves out of them.
• 17:49
  And, uh, I quite enjoy seeing those big gals out there.
• 17:55
  And since I know that people love to talk about their grandkids, how old are they?
• 18:00
  Oh, well they are five, three, and two.
• 18:04
  From the same parents.
• 18:06
  So sometimes my daughter needs a mental health break and her husband,
• 18:11
  actually, the two of them do.
• 18:12
  Yeah, Ben and three little boys, Ben Mason and Charlie, and yeah, they,
• 18:17
  that's a quite the little squad.
• 18:19
  Yeah, that's a good way to describe them.
• 18:20
  Arlene is a squad.
• 18:23
  And how many horses for the horse people in the, in the crowd.
• 18:26
  Oh.
• 18:26
  Uh, at the moment we have 11 horses.
• 18:29
  , uh, our farm is a lovely place for horses to live because you get to grow
• 18:33
  old here and have a wonderful life.
• 18:36
  My husband says they live a better life than him.
• 18:39
  They have a monthly massage appointment, they get pedicures, they get all
• 18:43
  sorts of great things the horses do.
• 18:45
  Um, but out of that crew of horses summer are definitely in their geriatric years.
• 18:50
  So we just enjoy having them.
• 18:51
  But we do have five riding horses.
• 18:54
  Um, and we do everything from moving cows to dressage with them.
• 18:58
  And I've decided my next goal for riding is I'm gonna learn how
• 19:02
  to do, uh, working equitation.
• 19:05
  And I'm quite excited about that.
• 19:08
  Uh, you get to carry a, okay.
• 19:10
  I need more details cuz I'm not a horse.
• 19:12
  Oh, working actation.
• 19:13
  I don't even know what that means.
• 19:14
  It's, it's, you, you gotta go through a whole bunch of obstacle.
• 19:18
  and you have to carry this great big pole with you.
• 19:20
  And it comes from the Spanish from Spain, and the Spaniards did it.
• 19:25
  And I think it originally came from bull fighting is where it came from.
• 19:28
  And you gotta carry this pole and you gotta put a pole in a barrel.
• 19:32
  And the pole, I think is 12, 14 feet long or something.
• 19:36
  So I have a young horse that I absolutely love.
• 19:40
  And so her and I, she doesn't know it yet, but this is what
• 19:42
  her and I are gonna learn next.
• 19:45
  So is it sort of like a pony club, Jim Kana for, for grownups?
• 19:50
  Is that what I'm hearing?
• 19:50
  That's what I, but also with the 14 foot long pole pool.
• 19:53
  Yes, yes.
• 19:54
  Yeah.
• 19:55
  I can see not wanting little kids doing that, that seems No, no.
• 19:59
  And eventually qualifying accidents waiting to happen.
• 20:01
  Yeah.
• 20:02
  But it is, it's like, um, so Allison is, as a grownup who deals with small
• 20:06
  children and horses, how do I convince my husband to let us have a horse?
• 20:10
  And by us I mean ostensibly for the kids and realistically, For me,
• 20:16
  when's his most busiest time of year?
• 20:18
  I probably shouldn't ask this, when he is like, I'm gonna listen to the show.
• 20:22
  Oh, probably no.
• 20:23
  Tipping my hand here.
• 20:24
  New horses arrive at our farm usually during seating or harvest
• 20:27
  time, cuz I can sneak out quickly, get the horse, bring it in.
• 20:32
  My husband does not even notice it.
• 20:34
  Usually tell Christmas time and, uh, we just bring 'em in.
• 20:38
  I tend to buy horses all the same color, so then nobody really
• 20:41
  knows if it's a new horse or not.
• 20:44
  Um, except we have a young girl who rides out here and they bought a horse that
• 20:49
  does not match the rest of the herd.
• 20:51
  So it's standing out like a, a sore thumb right now.
• 20:55
  But, uh, that's my goal, Katie, is I buy horses the same color
• 20:59
  and I bring them in in the night when nobody notices them coming.
• 21:04
  But the one that's a different color is hers, right?
• 21:06
  Yeah.
• 21:06
  So, I mean, you, you can't, yeah.
• 21:08
  I mean, that one's maybe you're getting rent or something.
• 21:10
  So I mean, that, that one's the real money maker in the in the group.
• 21:13
  Yeah.
• 21:14
  I guess otherwise maybe you could split them between pastures and
• 21:17
  just pretend that you've moved them.
• 21:19
  Exactly.
• 21:20
  You know, because it's harder to get a total if they're all in different places.
• 21:23
  That's right.
• 21:24
  And I, when people always ask me how many horses I have, I
• 21:27
  go, well, I think a little bit.
• 21:30
  I count, oh, I have a couple in this pasture and I got a couple over here.
• 21:33
  And, and it's a moving target.
• 21:36
  Yeah.
• 21:37
  Well you can always get real philosophical too, and say, well, what
• 21:40
  does ownership really mean Exactly?
• 21:43
  Do I really own them?
• 21:45
  Yeah.
• 21:46
  You know, and, and then if you seem vague enough and like you might talk
• 21:50
  long enough, people leave you alone.
• 21:52
  Yes.
• 21:52
  And you know, um, that's basically my life like, Exactly plan.
• 21:57
  So that's working out pretty well.
• 21:58
  And our daughter doesn't live in the yard anymore, but her horses are here.
• 22:01
  So they're not really all of my horses because she has quite
• 22:05
  a fair collection herself.
• 22:07
  So out of the 11, I don't own all of them, is what I use.
• 22:11
  But on the other side of that, the more serious side of it, um, many, many years
• 22:15
  ago when our daughter was about three or four and had a very, already her
• 22:21
  horse passion for horses was, was there.
• 22:23
  And we read, oh, for God's sakes, the phone just keeps ringing.
• 22:27
  So anyway, so then, um, we had a great, uh, read an amazing article on why
• 22:36
  girls should have pets to nurture.
• 22:41
  And it was a really amazing article to talk, um, girl girls, it's better
• 22:49
  if they have a pony than a boyfriend.
• 22:53
  because that pony will fulfill the need to, to take care of something to nourish.
• 22:59
  And as they go into their teenage years, it's so important to have
• 23:02
  those things for your daughters and uh, so they're not maybe looking
• 23:07
  for love in the wrong places.
• 23:09
  And so my husband, whenever it came to Amanda, would like
• 23:14
  to try this on the horse.
• 23:15
  Amanda would really like a kitty.
• 23:17
  We should probably get a new puppy.
• 23:19
  He said, if that keeps the boys away, have as many horses as you Like.
• 23:24
  I tell you, I think too, you could, you could have a lot of ponies for what?
• 23:28
  Bail money or unexpected, you know, teen motherhood would set you back or
• 23:33
  ammunition when your husband's shooting at the guy who he doesn't want to
• 23:36
  come visit your son or your daughter.
• 23:38
  So there you go, Arlene, maybe you better buy your daughter another cat.
• 23:43
  I know she already has a boyfriend, but you know.
• 23:46
  Oh yeah.
• 23:46
  She'll have less time to cause problems.
• 23:48
  The, the heifer that we did buy her is, is due in March.
• 23:51
  So, so we'll, we'll wait and see.
• 23:53
  There you go.
• 23:54
  Cause then she'll need to do some generic, I was looking at the Jersey
• 23:57
  cows at Ion, they had them on display.
• 24:00
  Four lovely Jersey cows.
• 24:02
  That's what I grew up milking was two jersey cows named Fawn and Dawn.
• 24:06
  And, uh, yeah, so I've, I quite enjoy the Jersey cows.
• 24:12
  Yes.
• 24:12
  Yeah, we have a single one right now, but we'll see what happens in March
• 24:16
  who might have to, so I love that Arlene wrote this in here for me.
• 24:20
  Um, I am a big fan of planners because I really like the, uh, the,
• 24:26
  what's the word I'm looking for?
• 24:28
  The illusion of control over my life.
• 24:32
  Um, and so you've created a planner called Navigate, which is intended for ag folks.
• 24:37
  What's unique about your planner and can you describe some of
• 24:39
  the elements of it for us?
• 24:42
  Well, you know, the unique thing of the planner is I've, I've tried
• 24:45
  really hard to create it so that it works in everybody's life.
• 24:49
  Some people like to just look at the month at a glance.
• 24:52
  Other people wanna break down their week.
• 24:54
  And then we have the people maybe like myself, who like to break it
• 24:58
  down by the day and make those plans.
• 25:00
  But when making it, I wanted it to be a, but it also, I want it to be a tool.
• 25:04
  So just like our, um, drills that are a battery pack and
• 25:09
  we don't have to plug 'em in.
• 25:10
  I wanted the planner to be this tool that would help us, um, kind of clear
• 25:16
  some of the chaos out of our life, put our thoughts down so they're not
• 25:21
  totally rummaging around in our brain all the time, and using up excess space
• 25:26
  and energy that as anybody raising kids on a farm, not raising kids.
• 25:32
  The more we can save our energy to do the more important things, I think the better.
• 25:37
  The other thing that I really wanted to push out about the planner though,
• 25:40
  is to do some reflection on how last year went and give yourself
• 25:44
  gratitude for however it went.
• 25:47
  The other thing I wanted to really push out though is priorities.
• 25:51
  And Arlene's heard me talk about priorities before and I wanted to,
• 25:57
  um, tell people that your to-do list is not your priority list.
• 26:03
  So two priorities a day is what I was, what what I really wanna push people
• 26:07
  to take that pressure off themselves.
• 26:09
  And then the other idea the planner was let's put it all together in one book.
• 26:12
  So you've got the records there, you have, um, all the ag records
• 26:17
  in the back from your gardening map to what to have in your pantry.
• 26:20
  If you're terrified to go grocery shopping, the stuff's
• 26:23
  there to help you out.
• 26:25
  So I wanted a book all in one.
• 26:26
  Put all your Post-it notes in one spot, put all your,
• 26:29
  whatever you need in one spot.
• 26:31
  So you're not got five books sitting on your desk and you're
• 26:34
  only writing in none of them.
• 26:38
  I feel really judged right now.
• 26:40
  I'm, I'm not gonna lie, um, cuz there's, uh, four planners and like 12
• 26:48
  post-it notes on my desk at this moment.
• 26:51
  Um, and I still have no idea what the hell's going on, but she can't see that.
• 26:55
  I can't see that.
• 26:56
  No.
• 26:56
  But she's obviously been listening to our show.
• 26:58
  If she knew , how many planners were likely to be on my desk being unused.
• 27:03
  Oh, and there's two under my desk, but those aren't all from news here.
• 27:08
  So, um, Allison, have you always been interested in planning and
• 27:12
  productivity and efficiency, or, I have.
• 27:14
  Did you used to be one of us?
• 27:16
  Um, I hate to say it, but I wasn't one of you.
• 27:18
  Uh, . But, uh, I asked my mom this actually when I started the idea of
• 27:24
  creating the planner, and she said, from the time you could write, you've carried
• 27:28
  a notebook around to organize yourself.
• 27:30
  She said, you were the girl who before school, the night before
• 27:34
  school, you had your clothes laid out so you knew what to wear.
• 27:36
  It didn't mean my bedroom didn't get messy.
• 27:39
  I was every bit of a typical teenager, but I had a bed with drawers under
• 27:43
  it, and my mom and dad said I could store more crap in those drawers than
• 27:47
  anybody to make my room look neat.
• 27:50
  So, uh, but I did, I've always liked to have my to-do lists.
• 27:54
  Uh, I'm a person who checks off her to-do list, and I hate to say it,
• 27:58
  I'm also the person who will write something on my to-do list if I've
• 28:02
  already done it and check it off.
• 28:04
  Um, well that's just satisfying.
• 28:06
  I mean, if you don't do that, then yeah.
• 28:09
  Why have a experience?
• 28:09
  Exactly.
• 28:10
  It is, I like to think of that as being a, a life hack.
• 28:13
  That some days you put really, really basic shit on your to-do list because
• 28:18
  it feels good to cross it off.
• 28:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:19
  . And you know what, it's not like there's to-do list police that
• 28:22
  are gonna come around and be like, oh, you had already done that.
• 28:26
  Yeah.
• 28:26
  You can't write it.
• 28:27
  Done that.
• 28:27
  Yeah.
• 28:27
  That, that wasn't a big enough task to put on the list Exactly.
• 28:29
  To help with you.
• 28:30
  It's my list.
• 28:30
  Exactly.
• 28:31
  Exactly.
• 28:32
  It's your list and, and you need to do with it.
• 28:35
  And, and it hopefully, I hope it helps you, support you to
• 28:38
  live the life you wanna live to.
• 28:39
  Not the life that you think other people want you to live, but
• 28:43
  the life that you want to live.
• 28:46
  So Allison, can you give us, and, uh, sorry.
• 28:49
  Yeah.
• 28:50
  Our listeners too.
• 28:51
  Um, some tips on being more productive that the time, with the time that we
• 28:54
  do have, I know sometimes it feels like I'm working really hard and yet nothing
• 28:59
  ever really gets finished or you don't feel that sense of accomplishment.
• 29:03
  Yes.
• 29:04
  Um, I really suggest to people to pick your priorities.
• 29:10
  Uh, Actually for each day and be kind to yourself when you pick your priorities.
• 29:16
  Uh, like for some reason you're planning to say, do a huge walking trek somewhere.
• 29:24
  You know, you've gotta build your priorities to build up to that.
• 29:28
  But other thing is, if you're on survival mode, if you are a mom with
• 29:32
  young children, if you're a mom with teenage children, if you're not a mom
• 29:36
  and you're just trying to keep the farm going or your business going, pick
• 29:41
  two, like I said, two priorities a day.
• 29:44
  And I've shared this in workshops and I have women go, how can you
• 29:47
  only do two priorities in a day?
• 29:49
  And I said, and this is, and I said to them, well, and we practice it.
• 29:54
  So for me, and I always share this, the podcast today was my number one.
• 30:01
  . So, um, the podcast is gonna happen over our lunchtime here in Western Canada.
• 30:06
  So I made sure that there's some lunch ready upstairs.
• 30:10
  Uh, doors are closed.
• 30:12
  I forgot to unplug the phone.
• 30:14
  So my, so my priority is the podcast.
• 30:17
  My to-do list is to do A, B, C, and D so that I can sit here, relaxed,
• 30:22
  enjoy my, my visit and my conversation with, with you two wonderful
• 30:27
  women and not feel any stress.
• 30:29
  And actually my mind is not even thinking about, uh, anything else
• 30:33
  that I think I might need to do.
• 30:34
  And then I've made a priority this afternoon.
• 30:36
  Our farrier is coming.
• 30:38
  So after lunch to be kind to our failure, I gotta go bring in the horses, put 'em
• 30:42
  in the barn so their feet can warm up.
• 30:44
  And that's my other priority today.
• 30:47
  Um, and I, I've worked really hard to get there to those two priorities.
• 30:53
  And when we're in the busy harvest mode, seating mode, uh, , there actually maybe
• 30:59
  is not any priorities for some of those days because we go into what we, you
• 31:04
  know, into your harvest routine, your harvest habit, uh, that you get into.
• 31:09
  And as we know, in the busy season on any farm, you get the
• 31:13
  call, the combine's on fire.
• 31:15
  Well, guess what the priority is right there.
• 31:18
  Those priorities change.
• 31:19
  Like you're, you're on it and you're going, and I don't know about your
• 31:23
  guys' farm, but things, the plan when we all walk out the door at 7 30, 8
• 31:29
  o'clock in the morning can by eight 30 in the morning, the whole plan
• 31:33
  can change because either it's rained or holy crap, the weed is ready to
• 31:37
  go and we don't have the bins ready.
• 31:40
  And there's, you know, things happen.
• 31:42
  Doesn't matter if you've farmed for 40 years, you, you are not always ready.
• 31:46
  So in the busy times, so you're saying the number one tip is
• 31:49
  that anything that is actively, legitimately on fire, Is top priority.
• 31:54
  I would put it as top priority.
• 31:55
  Cadence things.
• 31:56
  They're not actively on fire or below that.
• 31:58
  Yeah, exactly.
• 31:59
  Yeah.
• 31:59
  Is that correct?
• 32:00
  I I like that.
• 32:01
  I'm gonna write that in my book for harvest time.
• 32:03
  Next, for next year.
• 32:05
  If you're actively on fire, you're my number one priority.
• 32:10
  Like that.
• 32:10
  You just put it right in the front of the planner.
• 32:11
  Yeah, that right on the car, right, right on the cover.
• 32:13
  I, I might Oh, you wait to see what 2024 brings.
• 32:16
  There might be something that reflects that.
• 32:18
  Uh, I'm waiting for the special barnyard language edition of this planner.
• 32:22
  Oh, I was just gonna say, step one, put out things that are literally on fire.
• 32:26
  Step two, say fuck it to everything else.
• 32:31
  . Step three, eat snacks.
• 32:33
  Katie's to-do list.
• 32:34
  Don.
• 32:36
  Oh, there you go.
• 32:38
  I, I have to say Alison, as someone who does, um, I tend to write to-do lists
• 32:45
  and that pretty compulsively just to.
• 32:47
  to get them out of my head and help with the anxiety.
• 32:50
  So good.
• 32:51
  Giving myself permission to prioritize sleep over basically anything
• 32:58
  except stuff that is literally on fire has been the a plus.
• 33:02
  Number one thing, if I'm not taking my medication and sleeping,
• 33:08
  nothing else is gonna happen.
• 33:09
  It doesn't matter how many lists I make or how well I organize or how well I
• 33:14
  prioritize or whatever else, you know?
• 33:16
  And it's critical that we give ourselves permission, and I hate
• 33:22
  that we have to give ourselves permission to not die, but we do.
• 33:27
  Yeah, we do.
• 33:28
  And, and you know what, Katie, I think you, you hit it on the head
• 33:31
  right there, the nail on the head right there with that, by saying, I
• 33:35
  hate that we have to give ourselves permission, but you know what we do?
• 33:39
  We have to give ourselves permission.
• 33:41
  I have a friend who started a new business and she took a.
• 33:44
  Uh, screenshot of her planner for the month of March, so March, 2022.
• 33:49
  Her f and, and when you look in the planner on the month
• 33:52
  it has, what's your focus?
• 33:53
  Her focus was Kathy will sleep and she gave herself, Kathy has her priorities
• 33:58
  straight for the month of March.
• 34:00
  She gave herself the permission that I need to, I need to regenerate, I
• 34:06
  need to sleep, I just need to relax.
• 34:09
  And we know when we start anything new, uh, you know, there's all that pressure
• 34:15
  that will come with that, but the moment we physically write it down, we've already
• 34:20
  given ourselves the permission then.
• 34:22
  So if Katie's priority, if you have that every day sleep, No, I say thank
• 34:30
  you for doing that, Katie, because that is your number one priority
• 34:34
  I have put down for this Saturday.
• 34:37
  My priority is to embrace myself in the Christmas season because I
• 34:41
  love Christmas, so the Christmas decorations are coming out.
• 34:44
  I'm gonna make ginger snaps, and I'm just, I'm just gonna enjoy it.
• 34:48
  And, uh, it's gonna be minus 35 again probably.
• 34:53
  So it's a great time for that.
• 34:55
  But, uh, it is, and I'm gonna write it in my book cuz I'm, I'm as bad as anybody.
• 35:01
  Someone will call me.
• 35:02
  Alison, could you help us with this today?
• 35:04
  And I look in my book and then I say, no, I've wrote this down.
• 35:07
  I said, sorry, today I cannot come help you today.
• 35:10
  Today is actually all about Allison.
• 35:13
  I know it's sort of a, a continuing theme on this show, but this movement
• 35:18
  towards calling it self-care to prioritize showering or sleeping or.
• 35:24
  anything for ourselves is bullshit.
• 35:27
  You know, I, I heard somebody refer to it as self maintenance, which I think
• 35:32
  makes a lot more sense because you don't call, you know, changing oil in your
• 35:36
  car to be a, a benefit little perk that you do to, you know, to treat it nice.
• 35:42
  It's something you do because it keeps things running and sleeping and eating
• 35:46
  and showering and putting up your damn Christmas decorations all fall under
• 35:51
  that category of yes, things you do because you're a human and you deserve
• 35:55
  it, not because it's some special Yes.
• 35:57
  Special treats.
• 35:58
  Exactly.
• 35:59
  And, you know, I, um, and I do say sometimes there are things that
• 36:03
  should be your routine or your habit.
• 36:05
  So you, in my world, if you're a person who needs to make your bed every day,
• 36:09
  you do not need to write that down.
• 36:11
  I don't put having sleep in there as the same category as making your bed and.
• 36:17
  Putting in the first little laundry or whatever your morning routine will be.
• 36:21
  Your day routine.
• 36:23
  Because as we read more and know more if you're trying to keep anxiety at
• 36:28
  bay or just try trying to keep an even plane sleep, drink water, and
• 36:34
  some physical exercise, those are the three things we, we need to have.
• 36:38
  And if those are three things you're struggling with, by all means get
• 36:42
  it written down and that gives you the permission to do those things.
• 36:48
  And I just feel in this world right now, just give yourself permission
• 36:53
  to do whatever you need to do.
• 36:56
  Um, Alison, the, the thing that really drove it home for me was the amount of
• 37:01
  research that's coming out about how sleep deprivation compares to driving
• 37:06
  drunk or other things of that nature.
• 37:08
  Yes.
• 37:09
  Um, just realizing the, the literal physical toll, that it's not just, oh,
• 37:15
  I don't feel great if I don't sleep.
• 37:17
  It really seriously impacts your ability to function.
• 37:22
  It does.
• 37:22
  And you know, this harvest, we, I kept a pretty close eye on, um, on
• 37:27
  everybody because, uh, we had a lovely harvest where we could go and go and
• 37:31
  go and go, but because you could go and go and go and go, we got tired.
• 37:35
  And my nephew, who was part of our harvest crew has an, uh, a new, him
• 37:40
  and his wife have a year old baby.
• 37:42
  And there were maybe nights where she didn't wanna sleep
• 37:44
  and, and dad was a little tired.
• 37:47
  So we took note of that saying, okay, you know what, guys, we're, we're
• 37:50
  gonna be done at 11 o'clock tonight so everybody can get a good night's
• 37:54
  sleep and, and don't anybody else show up here till nine in the morning.
• 37:59
  And I know for some farmers that would maybe cause them a lot of stress to not.
• 38:04
  You know, go till two o'clock in the morning, but we all have to take
• 38:08
  care of ourselves because we only have this crew to do our harvest.
• 38:12
  We don't have a big crew who can come in and take over.
• 38:15
  So that's sleep.
• 38:18
  We're handling big equipment.
• 38:19
  We need the sleep, we need the rest.
• 38:21
  As a parent of young children, I really want to thank you for enabling people
• 38:26
  to take that rest too, because I know especially it seems like when it comes
• 38:32
  to fathers and sons, it can be very, very difficult for one to say to the
• 38:38
  other, either, either direction that they need that rest and nothing good
• 38:44
  happens when people get that tired.
• 38:46
  So, no, and like you said, when we have those stretches of, of decent
• 38:51
  weather, I mean, if you could look in the forecast and say, you know what the
• 38:54
  next couple of days look like, we're gonna be able to make a lot of progress.
• 38:57
  Oh, why kill your, why kill yourself today?
• 39:00
  When you know that you've got three or four days, you know, weather forecasting
• 39:04
  is pretty good, that we could hopefully be able to look ahead and say, you
• 39:09
  know what, if we stagger ourselves a little bit, take some time to sleep
• 39:12
  tonight, this is gonna get done.
• 39:14
  Exactly.
• 39:15
  And we don't have to race the neighbors or race ourselves or get the best, you
• 39:19
  know, the best record we've ever had in terms of time and, and risk, our
• 39:25
  risk, our health and our lives to do it.
• 39:27
  It doesn't make sense.
• 39:27
  That's right, Arlene.
• 39:28
  Totally.
• 39:28
  You know, and I mean, we stop also for supper and I know a lot of families are
• 39:33
  going away from that cause I, but it's something I hope we never go away from.
• 39:38
  First of all, I just love it when we can all check in with each other.
• 39:42
  Everybody gets out of that combine and has a stretch.
• 39:45
  And I mean, our combining crew is from the age of, uh, 20, late twenties up to an 80.
• 39:54
  Our uncle who's an 80 year old.
• 39:55
  So we've got a wide gamut of ages and, and you know what?
• 40:00
  , we have fun at our family separate, and we don't stop for an hour.
• 40:02
  It's not like we're stopping, you know, and having a party, but it's
• 40:05
  just really great to get out and stretch those legs and enjoy the f the
• 40:10
  food that has been created for them.
• 40:15
  Yeah, that's a valid point too, even to, yeah.
• 40:18
  And then you, someone gets the dishes back at the end of the meal.
• 40:21
  Yeah.
• 40:22
  makes, it, makes it easier on the person who probably, uh, provided
• 40:25
  the food too, that then you're not, uh, going through equipment later.
• 40:28
  It's Oh, later on looking for Totally.
• 40:30
  Oh, I say if you don't bring back a dish, you don't get to eat tomorrow.
• 40:33
  I'm pretty strict on that.
• 40:34
  Yeah.
• 40:36
  Well, and you know, breaking bread together, uh, is so important because as
• 40:43
  soon as we take that moment, , uh, that might sound a little weird, but take
• 40:48
  that moment and we just, our jaw relaxes.
• 40:51
  The moment we start eating our food, it relaxes our, you know, on
• 40:57
  your head, across your forehead.
• 40:59
  And then it also gives everybody time maybe to ask some questions.
• 41:04
  Simple as my combine setting doesn't seem to be working as well.
• 41:08
  Or, you know, cuz then you've relaxed a little bit and you're
• 41:11
  thinking about how things are going.
• 41:13
  But I truly believe in anything we do in life.
• 41:15
  It is so important to sit down, share some nourishment together because it
• 41:21
  nourishes your physical being, but it also nourishes your mental being.
• 41:25
  So Allison, I had the privilege of meeting you and hearing you speak at
• 41:29
  an event here in Ontario a while ago, and one of the things you talked about
• 41:32
  there was writing a personal vision statement and defining your core values.
• 41:35
  Now, when you talk about eating together, that seems to kind of reflect
• 41:39
  some of some of your feelings on that.
• 41:41
  But can you tell us a bit about this process and why you think
• 41:43
  it's important to have a personal personal vision statement?
• 41:47
  Yes.
• 41:49
  I think we all need our personal vision statement because it keeps us
• 41:53
  accountable for when people or ourselves think that we need to try something
• 42:00
  new or we need to change things.
• 42:03
  So when we create our find our core values and mine, our family
• 42:09
  community and connection, and from there we take our core values and
• 42:14
  use it to help us create our vision.
• 42:18
  So then when something new comes to us, we can be, we can use that as our check-in.
• 42:25
  , is this part of my core values?
• 42:28
  Uh, is this new opportunity to me?
• 42:30
  Does it, does it cover things?
• 42:32
  My family, my community, my connection?
• 42:35
  And as I tell everybody, Arlene and Katie, you're now part of my family
• 42:39
  because we've connected, we've built community, and we're family.
• 42:42
  And then does it check in with my personal, my personal vision statement?
• 42:47
  You know, my vision statement is to, to share stories, to give strengths
• 42:53
  to other people in, in, I, I used to say in the world of agriculture,
• 42:56
  but I said in the world to know that they too can do whatever they want.
• 43:01
  as long as you're supporting your core values that you want to live.
• 43:06
  And it's just so important.
• 43:08
  I was just talking to a, a young woman about this the other day.
• 43:12
  She wants to do this, this and this.
• 43:14
  And I said, does it check in with your core values?
• 43:17
  Is this your core values?
• 43:19
  And she looked at me and she said, I don't even know what my core values are.
• 43:22
  And I said, before you venture off into another new business, take the
• 43:27
  time to figure out your core values so that you know where you're going.
• 43:33
  And I wish in my late twenties, early thirties, I would've known that because
• 43:39
  when I was 30, it was probably the roughest year of my life, um, because I.
• 43:46
  I wasn't really sure what my vision was and what I should
• 43:49
  do, and I was hard on myself.
• 43:50
  I was farming with my husband, we were raising our children.
• 43:54
  But did I really have a career because I didn't give myself permission that what
• 43:58
  I was doing was my career at that time?
• 44:01
  Cause I truly don't think I had my values in, I don't think
• 44:04
  I knew what my values were.
• 44:06
  So that is why I think it's so important for us to have
• 44:09
  those core values at all age.
• 44:11
  And this isn't something, if you're 80, you shouldn't have.
• 44:14
  I think we should always have our core values, uh, at all times of our life.
• 44:21
  I think that's really helpful too.
• 44:22
  Like you talked earlier about setting your priorities.
• 44:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:25
  , right?
• 44:26
  Where, where if there are those days where you have that request or someone
• 44:29
  asks for your help with something and there's, you know, there's a question
• 44:35
  there whether, what is the priority?
• 44:36
  If you can reflect then back to what have I said my priorities are?
• 44:40
  Yes.
• 44:41
  Then.
• 44:42
  You can, you can make some decisions and hopefully not feel guilty about it.
• 44:46
  I mean, we all feel guilty about lots of stuff, but it doesn't
• 44:49
  always have to be that way.
• 44:50
  Right.
• 44:50
  We we're allowed to say no as hard as Exactly Arlene.
• 44:53
  And that's what I really hope by uh, me supporting people to find
• 44:58
  their core values and their vision is that they don't carry that guilt.
• 45:03
  Uh, and you know, I do, uh, I share stories of the farm and it's called
• 45:08
  the Marathon, called life, uh, leaving you know how to manage it all and
• 45:13
  leaving the guilt behind be cuz we do, we need to leave the guilt behind.
• 45:17
  We all live our own lives and whatever works best for me.
• 45:20
  I am still a highly busy people, brey person.
• 45:24
  I get a hard time for that sometimes, but that's who I am.
• 45:27
  And, and I really like that and that's where it comes under
• 45:30
  my core value of connection.
• 45:32
  And I live for that.
• 45:35
  I love connection.
• 45:36
  I think that's important for us to remember too.
• 45:38
  You know, like you said, you, you thrive on connection and that's
• 45:40
  one of your core values for people who are more introverted, that
• 45:45
  doesn't have to be your priority.
• 45:46
  No.
• 45:46
  And that doesn't mean that Allison is doing it better.
• 45:49
  No, and like you said, it, it, you know, it's just what, what your
• 45:53
  priorities want to, what you want your priorities to be and what, what fills
• 45:57
  your soul and what what drives you Yes.
• 45:59
  Are gonna be different for everybody.
• 46:01
  And that doesn't have to mean that one person's doing it
• 46:03
  better than somebody else.
• 46:04
  Yes.
• 46:04
  And when you're creating that vision statement, uh, it's
• 46:08
  okay that it evolves too.
• 46:10
  It cuz you know, it's not something easy to do because you
• 46:13
  gotta dig deep into yourself.
• 46:15
  And, and I have a like a six step process of how to go through that.
• 46:21
  You know, it takes time to do that.
• 46:24
  Like if you were in the workplace, you wouldn't sit down one afternoon and
• 46:27
  just have that vision statement done up.
• 46:29
  So same with your personal life.
• 46:31
  So I, I've given permission to a lot of people to say it's okay if it takes
• 46:35
  you a year to correct your vision or to create your vision statement.
• 46:39
  Well, the looks on some of their faces, who's got a year?
• 46:43
  And I said, you do, you do take a year to create your vision.
• 46:48
  Uh, cuz that'll give you a chance to see where the curve balls or how the balls get
• 46:53
  thrown at you and where you want it and where you are at that time of your life.
• 46:58
  Cuz we're all at different points of our life too.
• 47:03
  I think Alison, one thing that gets missed too is how much stress it can relieve to
• 47:09
  have your priorities laid out so clearly.
• 47:11
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:12
  , um, my husband and I went to a.
• 47:14
  Uh, farmer retreat several years ago and talked about, you know, what is
• 47:19
  the very highest priority for us?
• 47:22
  And for us it was to keep our family together.
• 47:24
  Ah, so keeping the farmland in the family does not for us come
• 47:29
  above keeping the family together.
• 47:31
  Hmm.
• 47:33
  And so then, you know, the second priority is keeping the
• 47:36
  farmland owned by the family.
• 47:38
  The third highest priority is keeping the farm operation in the family
• 47:43
  there and, you know, so on from there.
• 47:45
  And that took so much stress off because, you know, keeping x number of cattle is
• 47:52
  so far down the list at that point, right.
• 47:55
  That it loses so much of the, the stress around it.
• 48:00
  And for myself, I know with, with priority setting and goal setting and that I
• 48:05
  feel like if I approach it straight on to, you know, set some serious goals.
• 48:13
  serious things.
• 48:14
  Mm-hmm.
• 48:15
  my brain, just nope.
• 48:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 48:17
  done.
• 48:18
  Um, but, you know, if I, if I set a priority like didn't get smallpox
• 48:23
  this year, you know, pretty easy, you know, house didn't get taken over by
• 48:29
  rabbit raccoons pretty easy, you know, and from there I can kind of set like
• 48:35
  increasingly realistic goals and visions and statements and things, you know?
• 48:42
  Okay.
• 48:42
  You know, because it's hard to be serious.
• 48:45
  It is about this stuff and, you know, but Katie, I appreciate how you broke that up.
• 48:49
  So really, you guys did some life priorities and life priorities are so
• 48:55
  different than our daily priorities, but hopefully then your daily priorities,
• 49:01
  uh, support and lift up those life priorities that you've created.
• 49:06
  And as, as farmers, it's so important that we create.
• 49:11
  Those, the life priorities and have those conversations with our families.
• 49:18
  Well, and for us it was such a big thing to have that conversation
• 49:21
  about what if our kids don't want to take over the farm mm-hmm.
• 49:26
  when they were babies instead of when they're, you know mm-hmm.
• 49:28
  25 and we're pushing 70 and nobody wants to take over.
• 49:34
  Yes.
• 49:35
  You know, and if that happens, that happens fine.
• 49:38
  But it felt so relieving in my own brain to have that conversation.
• 49:44
  Ah, yes.
• 49:45
  You know, because so many folks, I think, you know, we don't know what
• 49:49
  to, what to do, so we just won't talk about it and then it won't happen.
• 49:53
  Exactly.
• 49:54
  Yes.
• 49:55
  You know?
• 49:55
  Yeah.
• 49:56
  No, it's interestingly not how it works.
• 49:59
  Nope.
• 49:59
  No, it doesn't work that way, does it?
• 50:02
  Yeah.
• 50:03
  So another topic that you're really passionate about is
• 50:06
  resilience, which seems to be a.
• 50:08
  A buzzword.
• 50:08
  Is it ever, you know, I'm sure if you, I was just, if you put it in Pinterest,
• 50:11
  it's probably right up there with, yeah.
• 50:13
  See, I thought I was so creative.
• 50:15
  A, you know, about a year ago when I was creating my resilience with a plan
• 50:19
  and now it's, maybe I'll take credit for creating it to be a buzzword.
• 50:24
  Uh, no ego on my end here, girls.
• 50:27
  So, um, hey, resilience is very important to me and, um, why
• 50:34
  resilience is important, uh, is.
• 50:40
  . Well, in farming, in agriculture, you, you really have to learn how to
• 50:45
  be resilient because unfortunately we can do all the best we can.
• 50:48
  And then mother nature, depending on what mood she is in, she can change it
• 50:53
  within 10 seconds of what's going on.
• 50:57
  So, but I think to be resilient, and I've done more reading on this lately and
• 51:03
  I'm a big fan of Brene Brown and she's done a lot of research on resilience,
• 51:08
  but after all my reading and everything I've done, I think the number one most
• 51:12
  important thing you need to be resilient is you need to love yourself first.
• 51:20
  That doesn't mean you're egotistical.
• 51:22
  It doesn't mean you're full of yourself.
• 51:25
  It means that you truly know yourself.
• 51:29
  You're gonna know how to reach out to find that team.
• 51:33
  You need to support you.
• 51:36
  You are gonna create a team.
• 51:38
  to lift up when it needs to be lifted up.
• 51:41
  And when you truly love yourself, you glow and you share that
• 51:49
  with the people around you.
• 51:50
  And I think that strength is absolutely amazing.
• 51:56
  How do we support our kids being more resilient?
• 52:02
  I know it's a, it's a learned skill, but what are some of the kind of
• 52:05
  the steps to becoming resilient?
• 52:07
  What are the steps to becoming resilient?
• 52:09
  Well, you know, I think one of the first things to becoming reil, helping your
• 52:13
  children to become resilient is you need to, uh, helicopter less as a parent.
• 52:24
  And I think the first step is to give your children, set them up to succeed
• 52:29
  by giving them small tasks so when they're little, starting with small
• 52:34
  tasks that they can actually do.
• 52:38
  Doesn't mean they did them right, but they can do and they feel really,
• 52:42
  really, really, really good about it.
• 52:44
  So maybe that right now my grandsons come and help me collect the eggs
• 52:51
  in, in my chicken house, and I don't care if they drop the eggs.
• 52:56
  I don't, you know, that's not the point.
• 52:58
  The point is they're brave enough to go in that chicken house and go get
• 53:02
  an egg and bring it back out again.
• 53:05
  And you know, and when we were raising our kids, I tried hard to give them tasks.
• 53:11
  And I read a book once that said, if your child makes their bed, don't you
• 53:15
  dare go in there and make it look better.
• 53:20
  And that was the best set of words and that I'd ever read about parenting.
• 53:25
  So if your kids, you know, if you get them to do the dishes or if they make the meal.
• 53:29
  My mo, my mother-in-law always shares the story.
• 53:32
  She was sick in bed and her, my husband and his younger brother,
• 53:35
  they're just six months apart in age and they were probably five and four.
• 53:39
  They made her toast and brought it to her in bed while the bread was moldy.
• 53:45
  And I think they might have burnt it, but she smiled, she appreciated
• 53:49
  it and she nibbled on that toast.
• 53:51
  And she never criticized them once that it was burnt or moldy.
• 53:57
  And I think as parents, we need to get back to, we gotta let our kids try it.
• 54:04
  We gotta let them, maybe they're gonna fail at it and
• 54:07
  then we'll help pick them up.
• 54:09
  But I think that's how we build resiliency and, and the joy
• 54:13
  of raising kids on the farm.
• 54:14
  We need to let them explore without mom and dad following
• 54:18
  them every single step they make.
• 54:20
  Uh, we, we gotta, we gotta encourage the children growing up in this world
• 54:26
  to, uh, go and explore and not always be organized, uh, 24 hours a day.
• 54:33
  I'm hearing you.
• 54:34
  That's a hard one for me, but I I, I hear you.
• 54:37
  Oh, and you know, it's harder now, Arlene, than even when we raised our kids.
• 54:41
  Cuz there's all this, like the phone and the social media and they're, they're
• 54:46
  always, everybody's expected to be on all the time, including our kids, but
• 54:50
  including parents raising their kids, you're expected to be on all the time.
• 54:55
  Like, this is the newest thing happening, or this is this or this
• 54:58
  is that, or, you know, I'm like, let the kids run around the rink.
• 55:03
  Let them, yeah.
• 55:04
  You're gonna hover from somewhere to keep an eye where they might be, but
• 55:07
  let them think they're adventuring.
• 55:10
  Let your kids believe they're on an adventure right now in their
• 55:14
  life and maybe they're gonna get a little lost and they gotta figure
• 55:19
  out how to get themselves back.
• 55:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 55:24
  . Yeah, that's a good one to remember.
• 55:25
  I think for, for me, some of that, and I, I try not to be too much of a
• 55:30
  haru, but especially around the farm.
• 55:33
  , that farm safety aspect is, is a hard one, right?
• 55:36
  Where you're like, I wanna keep them safe.
• 55:37
  I know there's so many dangers, and yet I also want them to
• 55:41
  have fun and have adventures.
• 55:43
  Right?
• 55:43
  You know, like the, the line between not getting too hurt when you Yes.
• 55:48
  Work in a place with large equipment and livestock and all those types of things.
• 55:52
  It's well, our knowing when knowing when they're ready and when you're
• 55:56
  ready to let them go is, is a Arlene hard thing to figure out.
• 55:59
  Sometimes I worry way more about my grandsons than I ever, ever did my own
• 56:02
  children, when they bounce, when our grandsons bounce in our trampoline,
• 56:05
  I'm like, who my God, And our kids, I don't even think I watched them.
• 56:09
  I said, well, if you hit the ground, let me know and we'll
• 56:11
  get you to the hospital, I guess.
• 56:13
  Yeah.
• 56:13
  But yeah, it is, and it's hard.
• 56:15
  You're right.
• 56:15
  And farm safety, uh, you know, and watching them, but we, it's also
• 56:20
  teaching your kids that they have to be aware and, and pay attention.
• 56:26
  And you don't want anything big to happen.
• 56:28
  But every once in a while, I think the odd squished finger.
• 56:31
  Teaches kids more than anything.
• 56:35
  Yeah.
• 56:35
  Yeah, that's true.
• 56:36
  So that does lead me into my next question.
• 56:38
  What are some of the things that you value most when it came to raising
• 56:41
  kids on the farm or, or watching your grandsons grow up on the farm?
• 56:45
  Mm oh, sometimes I get a little emotional when I talk about this.
• 56:51
  I think it was, um, I feel truly, uh, blessed that we could
• 56:58
  raise our children on the farm.
• 57:00
  I was raised on a farm and the freedom that I felt by being raised on the
• 57:05
  farm, that you could walk anywhere you wanted to be and you could explore.
• 57:11
  You could also watch food being growing.
• 57:15
  Uh, so then, I was fortunate enough to marry my wonderful husband,
• 57:21
  and we were able to raise our children then who could live.
• 57:25
  I call it a true life of freedom.
• 57:27
  Living on the farm, uh, the your boundaries are, are endless because
• 57:33
  you have the opportunity to be one with nature and, and watch, uh,
• 57:40
  calves being born, watching, uh, plants come out of the ground, seeing
• 57:45
  the birds come back every year.
• 57:48
  Uh, I mean, in the last few years here we've got a mama moose that has
• 57:53
  decided to kind of live in our backyard.
• 57:55
  So we get to watch her and her calves, and I think we forget sometimes in agriculture
• 58:00
  that we take this for grant and there are people, you know, living in high
• 58:05
  rises that would probably give anything to walk on a 10 by 10 piece of grass.
• 58:11
  And most of us have.
• 58:13
  You know, a hundred plus acres to 5,000 acres to 10,000 acres where we
• 58:18
  can explore and, and see the world.
• 58:24
  Yeah.
• 58:25
  So the next question I had is kind of leads out of that, but we'll skip
• 58:30
  over the nail polish on this one.
• 58:31
  Okay.
• 58:31
  But this is a question that can sometimes annoy parents of young kids
• 58:34
  who are in the trenches in the moment.
• 58:36
  Right?
• 58:37
  Or feeling overwhelmed every day.
• 58:38
  Yes.
• 58:39
  But if you could give yourself any advice for when your kids were little, other than
• 58:43
  not paint your nails , what would it be?
• 58:46
  Um, not to take anything too seriously.
• 58:52
  Not to put so much pressure to look like it's all, all together,
• 58:58
  because it's not all together and it's not going to be all together.
• 59:02
  So I think that's what I'd give myself permission.
• 59:06
  And the other thing I'd give myself permission to do.
• 59:10
  Is it's okay to take a break as a mom.
• 59:15
  Uh, it's okay if that break means to go ride your horse or, uh, read a book.
• 59:23
  You know what, and it's even okay to hire a babysitter.
• 59:26
  If you're the mighty stay-at-home mom, it is absolutely fine to hire
• 59:31
  a babysitter just so you could go have a little bit of a break.
• 59:39
  Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 59:43
  Yeah.
• 59:43
  The, the feeling like you have to justify a break when you're raising
• 59:48
  kids should not be a thing, right?
• 59:50
  I mean, what, in what other job would you be expected to, to be on call?
• 59:57
  Yes.
• 59:57
  24 hours a day.
• 59:58
  Well, maybe farming, I suppose, but even at that, you know, there are, there are
• 1:00:02
  times you can walk away from the barn and you can walk away from the tractor.
• 1:00:04
  Yes.
• 1:00:05
  But.
• 1:00:06
  When you're, when you've got young kids, you are literally on call 24 7.
• 1:00:10
  So if you need to hire a babysitter to take a nap or wash your hair Yes.
• 1:00:16
  Do anything to not have someone crying outside the door
• 1:00:19
  while you're having a shower.
• 1:00:20
  Exactly.
• 1:00:20
  If that's the gift you need for yourself.
• 1:00:22
  And don't call it self-care.
• 1:00:23
  No.
• 1:00:23
  Yeah.
• 1:00:23
  Like Katie said, self-preservation.
• 1:00:25
  Yes.
• 1:00:26
  If that, if that's what you need, that's okay.
• 1:00:27
  And you know, as women, you know, when I was raising our kids, uh, you
• 1:00:36
  know, it was women hard on women.
• 1:00:37
  That was the tough part.
• 1:00:39
  Oh, you're not a working mom.
• 1:00:42
  And I looked going, yeah, I work every single day.
• 1:00:45
  I just chose to do it from home.
• 1:00:47
  But, you know, and it was that there was such a definition, well, you don't
• 1:00:51
  know what it's like to be a working mom or to have a babysitter all the
• 1:00:55
  time, or what to do when your children were sick or, and that sort of thing.
• 1:00:59
  And, and, you know, once in a while, uh, I looked at one person
• 1:01:04
  and I said, I'll switch ya.
• 1:01:05
  Because right now, let me tell you, I think it's way easier to drop your
• 1:01:08
  kid at the babysitter and go to town.
• 1:01:11
  But that was, you know, and may, but it probably is not either.
• 1:01:15
  But it was the life we lived in and as women we get so hard on each other
• 1:01:19
  cause we gotta define everything and define the role and, and you
• 1:01:23
  know, we had to categorize it.
• 1:01:24
  While you're a stay-at-home mom, you're the working mom.
• 1:01:27
  And, and I just, we just shouldn't do that.
• 1:01:30
  We should just celebrate what we all do and support each other for
• 1:01:35
  what we all do and how we do it.
• 1:01:39
  And just because you're the stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you're the mom who
• 1:01:42
  has to drive the volleyball team every night to volleyball games.
• 1:01:45
  Either or you're, I also say, cuz you know how it, if you're a farm
• 1:01:50
  mom and a stay-at-home mom, of course you have fresh muffins and cookies
• 1:01:55
  ready for the school all the time.
• 1:01:58
  or you go down to the co-op, you take 'em out of their plastic container, put
• 1:02:02
  it in your Tupperware and drop it off.
• 1:02:03
  And nobody knows the difference.
• 1:02:06
  Well, and of course you're always just available to, to drop everything
• 1:02:10
  to go get cows in or whatever.
• 1:02:11
  Yeah.
• 1:02:12
  Too.
• 1:02:12
  Yeah.
• 1:02:12
  You know, um, there's a very good reason that I pay for daycare mm-hmm.
• 1:02:18
  . Um, because Yeah.
• 1:02:20
  It's, you know, if it was that easy, daycare would be free.
• 1:02:23
  Yes, exactly.
• 1:02:27
  And that was, oh, sorry, Arlene, that was, I was just gonna say,
• 1:02:30
  like you said earlier, it, it's not a competition about any of it.
• 1:02:34
  No.
• 1:02:35
  Right.
• 1:02:35
  You know, we, we all, we all have to make different decisions for what
• 1:02:39
  works for us and our families and Yeah.
• 1:02:42
  You don't have to justify yourself, but you also don't need to tear
• 1:02:44
  other people down because they're doing it different than you.
• 1:02:46
  No, they're not judging you because they're doing it differently.
• 1:02:48
  No.
• 1:02:49
  Well, hope.
• 1:02:49
  Hopefully they're not.
• 1:02:50
  Hopefully they're not.
• 1:02:51
  Yeah.
• 1:02:51
  Hopefully they're not.
• 1:02:52
  Those of us on this podcast today are definitely not judging you
• 1:02:55
  for any of your choices, so just.
• 1:02:57
  Do what you need to do.
• 1:03:02
  All right, so Allison, we ask all of our guests, if you were going
• 1:03:06
  to dominate a category at the county fair, what would it be?
• 1:03:09
  And categories can be real or made up to ensure that you win.
• 1:03:13
  I know I've been thinking about the whole categories at the fair, uh, but I love
• 1:03:20
  making salsa and I have several recipes and so I decided I am gonna dominate
• 1:03:28
  the salsa making category at the fair.
• 1:03:32
  I like it.
• 1:03:32
  I think that's a new one.
• 1:03:33
  Are you going to.
• 1:03:34
  Are you gonna enter multiple salsas and see which one the judge looks express?
• 1:03:38
  I am, that's what I was thinking because I, yeah, that's a good plan.
• 1:03:41
  I like trying out a few different kind of recipes and, uh, so not just tomato
• 1:03:46
  salsa, but maybe a little bit of mango salsa and some mango, black bean salsa.
• 1:03:52
  And so yeah, I thought I'd enter quite a few categories to see how that would
• 1:03:55
  go, but I thought, yeah, salsa category at the fair is what I'm gonna go after.
• 1:04:02
  Delicious.
• 1:04:03
  I love it.
• 1:04:03
  Alison, I had one other question too.
• 1:04:05
  How do you bribe your fairer not to tell your husband how many horses there are?
• 1:04:11
  We have a deal.
• 1:04:12
  He doesn't tell his wife how many horses he has and um, then that way
• 1:04:18
  he doesn't tell, we just keep that a secret between all of us because him and
• 1:04:22
  I may deal back and forth with horses.
• 1:04:25
  Like my latest horse I bought, I just bought it from my farrier.
• 1:04:28
  So yeah, it's like the, uh, doctor patient confidentiality.
• 1:04:33
  Totally.
• 1:04:34
  Fair.
• 1:04:34
  Totally confidentiality.
• 1:04:36
  Yes.
• 1:04:37
  Good to know that.
• 1:04:40
  That's a good plan.
• 1:04:42
  All right.
• 1:04:42
  We'll move into our cussing and discussing segment.
• 1:04:45
  We've registered for an online platform called SpeakPipe, where you can leave
• 1:04:48
  your cussing and discussing entries for us and we'll play them on the show.
• 1:04:52
  So go to speakpipe.com/barnyard language and leave us a voice memo.
• 1:04:55
  Or you can always send us an email@barnyardlanguagegmail.com
• 1:04:59
  and we will read it out for you.
• 1:05:00
  Katie, what you're going to cuss and discuss this week.
• 1:05:03
  So I was having coffee with some friends earlier this week and one of my friends
• 1:05:08
  mentioned this, so thank you Rachel.
• 1:05:09
  I'm stealing it.
• 1:05:11
  Um, the fact that her husband can put jeans on his Christmas list
• 1:05:17
  and because men's clothing actually goes by sizes, he gets pants that
• 1:05:22
  fit, that makes sense in the world.
• 1:05:23
  Yes.
• 1:05:24
  Sizes based on math.
• 1:05:25
  Yes, on real numbers that have some correlation with
• 1:05:30
  anything else in the universe.
• 1:05:32
  the actual size of the clothes that result from the number Yeah.
• 1:05:35
  That he can just, yeah, write them on a list and someone can just go,
• 1:05:40
  oh, this number here is this thing.
• 1:05:43
  And I was thinking about it even with shoes, that men's shoes, if you
• 1:05:47
  buy, you know, X size are, I mean, like, maybe they'll fit a little
• 1:05:53
  differently, but definitely not the way women's shoes do anyway.
• 1:06:01
  Uncool.
• 1:06:02
  Yeah.
• 1:06:03
  Wo, yeah.
• 1:06:03
  Women's clothing is just a, an imaginary fairyland that
• 1:06:07
  the, the numbers mean nothing.
• 1:06:08
  Yeah, exactly.
• 1:06:09
  It's like, you might as well just use letters or something because
• 1:06:13
  it doesn't make any sense anyway.
• 1:06:14
  No, none.
• 1:06:16
  Yeah.
• 1:06:16
  Yeah, that's right.
• 1:06:17
  All right, so Allison, what do you have deka and discussed this week?
• 1:06:21
  Ratchet straps.
• 1:06:24
  I hate ratchet straps and I don't even like using the word hate, but, uh, we
• 1:06:29
  use a lot of ratchet straps on our farm.
• 1:06:31
  and my husband lives for ratchet straps and I'm quite often the
• 1:06:35
  one left at home to load something and then ratchet them down.
• 1:06:39
  I never get them threaded the right way.
• 1:06:43
  I have them backwards.
• 1:06:44
  So then I'm ratcheting against the trailer and it never works.
• 1:06:47
  I have maybe been known to throw a ratchet strap across the yard cuz I
• 1:06:52
  can't get it threaded through properly.
• 1:06:54
  So you know what's wrong with good old yellow rope that you could
• 1:06:58
  just put over your load and tie it down with a good old square knot.
• 1:07:02
  That's what I wanna know.
• 1:07:05
  I will say when they were correctly, they're immensely satisfying.
• 1:07:08
  Yeah.
• 1:07:08
  But getting them to the point that they will work correctly or being on the
• 1:07:12
  other side of the load from a person who just tosses the ratchet end over to you.
• 1:07:17
  Oh yeah.
• 1:07:17
  Well I didn't need my face.
• 1:07:19
  It's all right
• 1:07:21
  It's not doing anything anyway.
• 1:07:23
  Exactly.
• 1:07:24
  Script like I, yeah, they're obnoxious.
• 1:07:29
  I feel like this is another one of those.
• 1:07:31
  Things that people assume women are bad at because we're women
• 1:07:35
  and not because we just don't have the brain space to maintain which
• 1:07:38
  way to thread a ratchet strap.
• 1:07:40
  Like I'm sorry that it's not on my list of things to devote energy to.
• 1:07:45
  No, but I say then people assume that it's cuz you're a girl, I'm awesome at a
• 1:07:50
  whole lot of things and I have no problem bringing up what I'm not awesome at.
• 1:07:54
  And ratchet straps are one of those things I am not awesome at.
• 1:07:59
  Plus you're in good company . So Arlene, what do you have to custom discuss?
• 1:08:06
  So I have joined a few different egg women's groups on the Facebook and
• 1:08:14
  sometimes they can be very supportive places and sometimes they can't.
• 1:08:17
  And um, if you want a really supportive one, you can join the barnyard language
• 1:08:21
  Facebook community because we are awesome.
• 1:08:24
  And it's not just for women.
• 1:08:26
  But the comments that get me the most are when you have someone make a post about,
• 1:08:34
  you know, a challenge in their life and they're wanting their partner to step up.
• 1:08:40
  Typically it's a man, and the other women will tell them,
• 1:08:45
  basically, suck it up buttercup.
• 1:08:47
  He's a farmer, he's busy, and you'll just have to figure it out without him.
• 1:08:52
  Like, why are we expecting so little from our partners that we would tell
• 1:08:59
  another person to also expect so little from their partner that they
• 1:09:03
  shouldn't be expected to do the basics of putting their own children to bed.
• 1:09:08
  You know, it's, it's not big stuff here.
• 1:09:09
  Like we're talking about things like coming home every once in a while so
• 1:09:12
  you can put their, their own kids to bed, giving their kids a bath, you
• 1:09:15
  know, like cleaning up after themselves.
• 1:09:17
  Like, these women are not asking for the world.
• 1:09:19
  They're asking for basic.
• 1:09:21
  Partner Yes.
• 1:09:22
  Skills and, and other women are saying, oh, that's, you're asking too much.
• 1:09:27
  I'm sorry.
• 1:09:27
  That is not, that's not asking too much.
• 1:09:30
  No.
• 1:09:31
  If you're in a part, if you're in a partnered relationship and you decided
• 1:09:33
  to have children together, even if you didn't decide to have children,
• 1:09:36
  if you have children together, this is something you're doing together.
• 1:09:39
  And just because you're a man doesn't mean you don't need to participate.
• 1:09:44
  And women don't need to be telling other women that, that is asking too much.
• 1:09:49
  And has anybody ever asked the man, like they truly enjoy most, just as much
• 1:09:54
  as women to come put their kids to bed at night and be part of all of that?
• 1:09:58
  And I think sometimes people just assume they don't wanna be there.
• 1:10:02
  And that's not true.
• 1:10:04
  They, they're part of the deal.
• 1:10:05
  Yeah.
• 1:10:05
  They wanna be there.
• 1:10:08
  Yeah, exactly.
• 1:10:09
  I'm gonna go ahead and point out too that, especially with infants, A lot
• 1:10:14
  of dads don't get the practice with the babies, and then people give them a hard
• 1:10:19
  time for not being good with the baby.
• 1:10:21
  Yes.
• 1:10:21
  Well, I'm spending 24 hours a day with the kid and he's spending, you
• 1:10:26
  know, two hours a day with the kid because nobody's cutting him any
• 1:10:29
  slack to spend more time with the kid.
• 1:10:31
  And then, you know, you can't be mad that he doesn't know how to do X,
• 1:10:36
  Y, and Z because he doesn't do it.
• 1:10:39
  I mean, it's, you know, and then when they say it's so nice that
• 1:10:43
  dad is babysitting his children,
• 1:10:47
  Yeah.
• 1:10:48
  That, that should not be No.
• 1:10:50
  Yeah.
• 1:10:50
  Hire a baby.
• 1:10:51
  We talked earlier.
• 1:10:52
  Yes, go ahead and hire a babysitter.
• 1:10:53
  But, uh, yeah, dad, dads dads are not babysitters.
• 1:10:57
  Dads or dads, unless they're babysitting somebody else's kids.
• 1:11:01
  There you go.
• 1:11:02
  Oh yeah.
• 1:11:03
  They can babysit it up.
• 1:11:04
  . Yeah.
• 1:11:04
  That's, maybe we should just, that's a different arrangement.
• 1:11:06
  Agree to all expect a reasonable amount from each other.
• 1:11:10
  Yeah.
• 1:11:10
  Because mm-hmm.
• 1:11:11
  , we expect.
• 1:11:12
  . I think that's the problem, is that it's so random of when and who we
• 1:11:17
  expect way too much of and when and who we don't expect anything of.
• 1:11:22
  And you know, maybe we could just expect a normal amount
• 1:11:25
  from everybody and, uh, exactly.
• 1:11:28
  you know, if there's stuff we still can't do, maybe we just shouldn't do it.
• 1:11:32
  No.
• 1:11:33
  Yeah.
• 1:11:33
  Or ask someone else for help who has Exactly.
• 1:11:37
  And don't be scared to do that.
• 1:11:39
  We don't, we don't need to have all the skills.
• 1:11:43
  Yeah.
• 1:11:44
  Well we've solved the entire world's, all of the problems, so I, yes.
• 1:11:48
  I think Yeah.
• 1:11:49
  From ratchets straps to, uh, exactly.
• 1:11:51
  Marriages.
• 1:11:52
  Yeah.
• 1:11:52
  We're, we're good to go.
• 1:11:54
  Thank you so much, Allison, for joining us on the podcast today.
• 1:11:57
  If people want to connect with you online to order a Navigate 2023 planner,
• 1:12:01
  where can they uh, they can find me on Allison Weaver, her story with Instagram
• 1:12:06
  and Facebook, or you can go to allison weaver.com and hit the shop button
• 1:12:11
  and you can order a Navigate 2023.
• 1:12:15
  Oh, perfect.
• 1:12:18
  Thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:12:20
  It was great.
• 1:12:20
  Was fun.
• 1:12:20
  Thank you.
• 1:12:21
  It's been fun.
• 1:12:21
  You guys, thank you for joining us today on Barnyard Language.
• 1:12:25
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• 1:12:30
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• 1:12:36
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• 1:12:39
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• 1:12:41
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• 1:12:43
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• 1:12:48
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• 1:12:50
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• 1:12:53
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• 1:12:56
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• 1:12:58
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• 1:13:01
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