Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Get Out of Florida with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: Get Out of Florida with Chelsea + Catherine · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Mighty Tour.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: In June, I will be in Hyannas, Massachusetts, and then
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: two shows in Nantucket. In August you can find me
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: That's Canada.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: and Spokan. And then in November I'll be in San Francisco.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas Babies,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I'll be there. And then in December I am closing
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High and Mighty Tour.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Dougie.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Come over here, he over here, Doe, Chelsea, I have
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: This is an update from a caller, but it is
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: a letter regarding our Laurel and Jackson episode from a listener.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Oh thank God for laur Lyn Jackson. She really is
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: a savior. She is a savior.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: She just has given us a world.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, she's given the world. She's just so wonderful, such
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: a soothing, calming presence. Yes.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: And I also think like the way she talks about
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: the afterlife or what's beyond the veil is very accessible
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: no matter what you believe. Like my dad, I gave
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: him a copy of each of her books a year
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: or two ago when we first had her on and
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: he loved her. And he comes from like a very
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Christian background, but he he's like, this all fits with
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: what I already believe, you know, like this fits with
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: the Christian faith, that fits with people who don't have
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a fit.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: It's it's very accessible, I think to a lot of people.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: But Cindy says, I recently listened to Laura ln Jackson
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: on your podcast and it hit hard. I had no idea.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I was crying until I got to my office. My
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: dad passed away a few months ago on his eighty
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: second birthday, and so much of what you both talked
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: about resonated with me. I was especially moved to realize
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I could ask for a sign rather than just wait
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: for one. Over Christmas, I took a little yellow Fisherman
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: figurine from my dad's office. Without knowing why, I like
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: to say, it chose me staring at it. I asked
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: my dad to send me bright yellow rain coats as
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: my sign. That same night, two strangers crossed my path
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: in bright yellow coats. Osh, this is New York City.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: People don't wear yellow. The yellow coat kept coming until
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: it clicked. The song I had added to his last
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: day playlist was eighteen Yellow Roses by Bobby Darren. That
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: was the song he danced with my sister's two at
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: their wedding. I never regretted not getting married, but I
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: always was a little sad that I never got to
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: have that dance with him. I had just told my
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: sisters the whole story and was coming through Penn Station
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: when another yellow coat crossed my path and I had
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: to stop and take a picture. Before all this, I
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: had gotten tickets to the musical just in time. I
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: went for Jonathan Groff, not making the connection to Bobby Darren.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: In the show, they reworked the song a little bit
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: and cut the line that says eighteen Yellow Roses will
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Wilton dies someday, but a father's love will never fade.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: But I still felt it all so deeply thank you
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: for hosting Laurea Lynn and inspiring this much needed chain
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: of events.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Cindy, Oh, that's so beautiful. Oh No, I love that.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: It was like different ways that he showed her that
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: he was showing up. I'm still there.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Well. Our caller today is Kira So.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Kira says. My husband and I live in Tampa, Florida.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: We're both self employed with companies that mostly work for
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: us to live anywhere we'd like. My husband was born
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: and raised in Tampa and hasn't really lived anywhere else.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I've lived in several cities up and down the East Coast,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: and I'm starting to get the itch to make another move.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: He's fully on board with this, and we've been considering
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: a move to Charlotte, North Carolina, Florida. Is Well, Florida.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: The heat and humidity are starting to wear on us
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: and we just want to mix it up. But here
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: we are, just a few days from our lease ending,
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: and I'm getting cold feet. My biggest hang up is
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: that when I set our businesses mostly work for us
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: to live anywhere. I do get about fifty percent of
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: my income from in person personal training clients. I'm already
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: financially supported by my husband, and this would make me
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: almost entirely dependent on him. We're in our forties with
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: no kids, but we do have one hundred and twenty
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: pound great Pyrenees. Ideally, I'd like to grow more of
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: my online health coaching services to make this move a
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: bit more confidently, but I'm scared that if we don't
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: pull the trigger now, we just won't ever do it.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much and can't wait to hear what your
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: take is on this hopefully win win situation.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Kira, Hi, Kira, Hi, Hi, Hi. You got to get
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: out of Florida, girl, even though your tan is lovely. Yeah,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Charlotte's words as Charlotte gorgeous. I just came from Charlotte.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I had a show there. It was really I mean,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I've been there a bunch of times. That is a happening,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: bustling and cool place to be. Durham, Raleigh, Charlotte, that
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: whole area. You're gonna like it, and you're gonna build
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: up a clientele, and you're gonna do your online thing
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: and you're gonna be fine. I like that you're concerned
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: about being financially dependent on your husband, but like that's
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: gonna be a good motivator for you to build your
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: business when you get to Charlotte. Yeah, I see, there's
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: so many new people. Just think of it this way.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: There are so many new people moving to Charlotte in
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: the same way that you're moving to Charlotte, that there
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: is such an appetite for your business, Like you already
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: have a built in like influx of people coming your way.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Think of it that way.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And Charlotte's like it's so young and vibrant and
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: like there's great restaurants, things to.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Do, and you want to personally train while you build
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: your online presence, right, you said you want to continue
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: personal training.
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: Ideally most of my I would like for my business
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: to mostly be entirely online with a handful of I
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: reserve my in person time for the people that I
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: really and truly love and want to spend my time with.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what my trainer, Ben says, he has like
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: five clients CC's these days. Yeah, but I understand that.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: But yeah, well, then until you have it where you
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: want it your online business, I think, go with an
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: open mind that so that you're not so financially dependent
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: on your husband, Like, go with an open mind that
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you will be willing to take on a couple of people,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: you know, few clients a couple times a week, just
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: until you are ready to have your business be as
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: robust as you imagine it to be.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: So, then if we were to make this move in
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: three months and I spend six months, eight months, however long,
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: working my way up to being more financially stable on
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: my own, how do I rep my head around being
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: comfortable asking my husband to pay for my ancillary things, hair,
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: you know, shopping, the stuff that you know aren't necessities.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Do you guys not have combined finances? Do you like
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: separate finances?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You have separate Okay, well, I think it's a conversation
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: that you have to have about the move, right, Like,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: have you had any financial conversations about having.
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: We definitely have. It's just it's a personal thing for me.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: He has never held anything over my head. He has
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: never made me feel bad. He's always been very supportive
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: of me. But it's a personal thing where I just
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: feel more comfortable being a little bit more financially independent.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure, yeah.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: One way that you guys could do this is to, like,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: if you have totally separate finances, One way that you
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: could do it is to have like basically a like
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: housing needs fund, like a third fund where you both
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: put a percentage in every month and you know, after
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: the move it's going to be mostly him for a while,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: but I mean personal maintenance and that kind of stuff
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: like that is also like that is a need, right,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: That's like something that both of you need. It's not
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: like you're going out like spending a bunch of money
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: on jewelry or clothes or whatever. It's like something that
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: you actually need. So that would be a conversation to
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: maybe have about like maybe we have a third fund
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: for the time being, and like as we go on,
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: we both put the same percentage of our income into
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: it and so that like it evens out more over time.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: And I do think that, like, since you are so
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: headstrong about it and not being reliant on him, like
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I think you should commit to picking up your business
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: and starting it in Charlotte, like when you get there,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: even planning ahead in certain ways and reaching out to
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: different gyms or wherever you can kind of work people
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: out or you know, figuring out ways to actually make
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: money when you get there. Until that, until you have
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the online business that you envision you know, just don't
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: throw that away just because like you have an option
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: to work, that's your work, that's what you do. So
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: even though that you might not want to be doing that, like,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: you know, forever full time, I think for this period
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: of time, look at it as like an incremental period
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: of time where you are going to continue to do
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: it until you get your business online working the way
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: you want it.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, be a little bit more proactive, and then also
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: see what clients can come with me on zoom as well.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, absolutely everyone's doing that too for.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Sure, and you can even encourage them by being like,
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: oh it'll be like slightly discounted or whatever, you know
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: what I mean.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: But be proactive. Look in that area like where would
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you want to you know, set up like are you
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: going to be able to set up a gym where
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have people come and train with you at
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: your house? Or do you want to go and pay
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: a gym? How do you reach out to that community?
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Is there something you can start doing online social media
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: wise to attract clientele or even clientele from if you know,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: if you're talking about zooms, you can make that like
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: a wider berth, you know, and cast a wider net.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: That could be domestically, that could be internationally, that could
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: be whatever you want it to be.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Like, does this all feel good? This feels like you've
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: got marching orders and in spell for you for your
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: move Carolina?
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: It is yeah, yeah, get to North Carolina. That's where
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: it's at.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, Thank you guys so much.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: By bye bye. My goal is to get everyone to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: leave Florida.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Well it's working for Kira. Okay, so our last little
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: question here, and I think this is a quickie. She
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: just needs a shot in the arm. Tara says, dear Chelsea.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: I was recently promoted to manager, and while I'm proud
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: of the accomplished, I've been struggling with major imposter syndrome.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I've always been known for my strong work ethic and
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: ability to learn quickly in every job I've had, I'm
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: somehow the go to person and the one people rely on.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: But despite all that, imposter syndrome keeps creeping in the
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: root of my insecurity. I don't have a college degree.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I earn plenty of credits, but never finished. I work
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: for a large company and it's possible that many people
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: around me don't know I'm a college dropout. I consistently
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: receive exceeds expectations on my performance reviews, and my colleagues
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: sing my praises, but I still worry that one day
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: I'll be found out. How do I silence these negative
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: thoughts and truly believe that I belong here even without
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: a degree hanging on my wall.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Tara, easily, you belong here.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I think the biggest I mean exception, is that anyone
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: gives a shit about college or where you went to
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: college once you're in business, like you're already in the career,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: like that's all you need is like the proof is
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: in the pudding.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Not only in the career, but like this imposter syndrome.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Everyone feels this way. We hear about this all day long,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: every day, every career. It doesn't matter what you are, like,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: it's you belong there. You're there, you belong there, like
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: it has nothing to do like that that's an old
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: fashioned like lens to look at things about your education
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: and how you got there. I never went to college either,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: and I'm exactly where, not that you need to for
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: what I do, but like it doesn't bother me. That's
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: an advantage actually, because I've lived more life, you know
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: what I mean. I've lived those four years where I
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: would have been studying, and I acted as an adult
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: like it was independent on my own. So you can
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: just you just have to change the filter with which
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: you look through things and the lens with which you
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: look through things and look at things as successful rather
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: than as a detriment, Like this is an advantage, not
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: a disadvantage. Yeah. So whatever negative you thought you have
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: or kind of connotation you have about something, there is
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: an opposing thought and connotation you can have about it,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: and that can be positive. You just have to kind
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: of choose that.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Tara, go with God. God's If you
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea podcast at
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Katherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find full
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get tickets
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com