Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #698 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#698 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, I was almost passed out on the bed. I
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: don't know what you were doing. You were in another
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: room to me.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Washing in case you're a one, But I don't know
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: what you were doing.
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: You know how the laundry fairy just happens to have
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: everything clean.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: You made it pressed in your cupboard.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and dad.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I don't know if I want to do
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: this podcast today. I'm just going to come out and
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: say it. Hello. This is doctor Justin Colston, the founder
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: of Happy Families dot com dot au and the parenting
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: expert on Channel nine's Parental Guidance, the hit TV show
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: all about parenting styles and what makes families happy. I'm
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: here with Kylie, my mom, my wife and mum to
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: our six children.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel like you're I'm so sorry.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I can't believe I said that. It's Friday, and I
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: don't know about you, but I'm kind of glad that
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: it's Friday. I feel like there's a lot going on.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to finish a tire book this month, and
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: it's a big, big task, and I'm feeling way down. Okay,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I'm just I'm feeling a little heavy. What's been the
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: highlight of your week before we kick into our episode proper.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Well, probably I wouldn't say the word highlight. I would
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: use highlight to describe it. But we've made no secret
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: about the fact that last year school refusal was hot.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I had a couple of kids that just didn't want
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: to be there.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: High on our list. And this year we have had,
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: for all intents and purposes, a fantastic start to the year.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: I knew that we were in honeymoon mode, and I
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: knew that it wouldn't last forever, but I was reveling
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: and every single day we got out of the door
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: without any hassles.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Sure, but the other day, so.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: We're at end of week three.
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: Nice, Yeah, we've done two full weeks, and we kind
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: of got halfway through this week and Miss em decided
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: she didn't want to go to school right, and so.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: So it was this one of the mornings where I
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: was in the office early. I've been in the office
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: of like six thirty quarter past six every morning this week.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: So she was a little bit sniffly on day one
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: of week three, and I kept her home just to see.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: But it was very obvious as the day progressed that
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: she was completely fine, and she obviously picked up as
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: the day went on. But then the next day it
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: just kind of got a little bit harder. Until day
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: three she up to the anti big time. She's walking
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: towards me. I'm in the kitchen and I've taken a
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: double take because she looks like death warmed up. She
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: has got the biggest black rings under her eyes that
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I've ever seen.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I was like, holy smokes, what is going on?
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: Like I would have sworn she was on death's bed.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: She looked so bad, It's like this doesn't make sense.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: And then it kind of just twigked and I said, Emily,
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: have you been playing.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: With your sister's makeup?
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: Well, she couldn't keep the smile of her face, but
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: she was adamant that she hadn't touched it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know what she's watched.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: She has this makeup thing down pat she like, I'm
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: talking this smug and everything. You couldn't actually tell it
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: was makeup. She had done such a brilliant job at
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: making herself look incredibly sick, so she couldn't go to school.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Right, So she's pulled the makeup out and made herself
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: look like she's.
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  Speaker 4: I wish I had taken a photo of it, because honestly,
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: it was so believable.
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  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Needless to say, she did go to school.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: That day good, well after.
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  Speaker 4: She'd washed her face, because I didn't want the teachers
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: freaking out.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: So the purpose of our Friday podcast is just to
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: reflect on the week that was, I guess, share some
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: fun stories, but mainly to work out how can do
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: better tomorrow? Every Friday, our episode is focused on doing
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: better tomorrow. It's called I'll do Better Tomorrow for that purpose.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Is that you're old do better tomorrow then? Or is
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: that just a fun story?
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  Speaker 4: No?
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  Speaker 3: Just an anecdote?
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  Speaker 2: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: Week?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: All right, well do you want to go first?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: You?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Do you want me to? Is you one uplifting or
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: is it not so uplifting?
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  Speaker 4: Oh?
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  Speaker 3: I don't know what you'd call this one?
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  Speaker 2: Well, mine's miserable. So I'm going to go first. Okay,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: all right, okay, because hopefully you'll you'll have this finishing
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: on a positive you know what, I've got a positive
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: spin for it. But I don't know what's happened. We've
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: kicked off the year and I'm exhausted. Like normally, I'm
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: used to being tired because I get up earlier, I
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: go for my bike rides or whatever. But I haven't
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: been riding my bike. I've been spending time running with
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: the kids, and that's sort of I mean, there's momentum
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: there and it's happening and the kids are the kids
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: are doing it, but I'm not loving it and I'm
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: missing exercise. But I feel like I'm tired as somebody
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: who's not exercising then I used to be when I
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: was exercising. I mean, I don't know, it just it's
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: messing me up a little bit. But not only am
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I tired. This is a really hard thing for me
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: to say, but I've had a week where the kids
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: have been fine. There hasn't been any problems, there's been
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: nothing major going on. I'm just tired of being a parent.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I can say that out loud.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's acceptable to say that, especially
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: somebody in my position. But I kind of just don't
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: want a parent anymore. I would like the kids to
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: look after themselves. I would like to not have to
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: think about them, run them around, do things for them.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: I think I'm kind of finally catching up. I've experienced
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: this feeling multiple time.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know if I've ever really truly been here
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: before in my entire life. I love I love being
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: a parent normally, and maybe that's because I haven't had
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: to fully, fully do it all the time. But even
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: now I'm not fully doing it. I'm just kind of
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: tired of it. And it's not that I want to
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: be selfish. I feel like I just have so much
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: to do. And so at the start of the week,
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: on Monday, we had Emily, who you thought was sick
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: but who definitely wasn't. And then we had one of
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: our other kids, our fifteen year old, who she didn't
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: go to school. I think she said that she was
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: unwell as well.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: No, she didn't want to go to the swimming country.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Oh that's right.
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  Speaker 2: It was swimming carnival day and she refused to go,
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  Speaker 2: which ticks me off because we've spent all this money
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  Speaker 2: on swimming lessons and squad training over the years and
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: this kid's saying she's not going to go there. And
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: then we've got our two we finished school kids at
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: home as well, so I popped home for a little
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: bit so I could have some lunch. And there's four
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: kids at home on a school day when I just
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: want to sit down and be with you, and I
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: just thought, I'm over it again. I don't know if
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  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to say this. I don't know if this
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  Speaker 2: is just ruining my credibility as a parenting author and
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  Speaker 2: educator and whatever, but I just feel like I'm I'm
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  Speaker 2: so done with pairing now. I know I'm truly not,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: but at the moment, I just, oh, does that make sense?
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  Speaker 4: So the reality is right now, we're kind of stuck
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: in a little bit of a holding pattern. We've got
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  Speaker 4: a child that has finished high school and is about
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  Speaker 4: to start university but has no idea what life's going
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  Speaker 4: to look like in a month's time.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's just mooching at the Coulson motel.
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  Speaker 3: And we've got.
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  Speaker 4: Another kid who's about to leave to go to England
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  Speaker 4: in a couple of weeks, and she's again just kind
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  Speaker 4: of stuck in this limbo where there's not much to do.
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  Speaker 4: Just everybody else is working and she's at home, and
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  Speaker 4: so she's kind of just taking up space. And then
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  Speaker 4: you've got three little kids who are kind of waiting
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  Speaker 4: for all of this change, anticipating it. There's anxiety around
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: what it will look like too.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe that's it. Maybe it's just the holding pattern that's
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: driving me bonkers. But I guess to put a positive spinner,
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  Speaker 2: because this is about doing better tomorrow. I had an
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: experience a couple of nights this week. It started on
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Tuesday night. I was almost passed out on the bed.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you were doing. You were in
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  Speaker 2: another room, I'd said, kind of a semi.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Pre washing in case you were one.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you were doing. I got no idea.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: You were just somewhere playing with clothing.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: You know how the laundry fairy just happens to have
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: everything clean.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: You made it depressed in your cupboard.
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  Speaker 2: If I wasn't looking bad by saying I don't want
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: a pair anymore, you just made me look really bad.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So anyway, I'm laying on the bed thinking I don't
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  Speaker 2: think I can keep my eyes open, and it's only
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: seven thirty at night. Just a potato and Emily came
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: in and she said she was really tired as well,
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  Speaker 2: this little qute eight year old, and she laid across
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: my chest and just hugged me so to love your dad.
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  Speaker 2: I'm really tired. Can I lay with you? And I
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is this is the kind of parenting.
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  Speaker 2: I'm ready for this.
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  Speaker 4: This is parenting where I get to close my eyes
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: fall asleep.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Just hold this, kiddo. But we've been reading a book
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: like one chapter a week. I'm so bad at it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: But I said, what about if we read some of
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo? And she says yes,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: jumps up, eyes bright, looking at me. I'm like, okay,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: So the chapter is like twelve pages long, and how.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Many times did you fall asleep?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Free? She had to wake me up three times. I'm reading,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I'm saying words, but I'm actually asleep. But here's the thing,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: and this is the beautiful part about it. I'm saying
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: that I don't want a parent anymore, but actively parenting
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: rather than passively being frustrated because the kids are around.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I felt so good. It felt so good to lay
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: there and cuddle and snuggle, and it felt so good
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: to read to her, and it felt so good to
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: fall asleep as well, but it kind of I guess
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: it's that reminder, isn't.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: It, to wake up and have your clothes ready.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I certainly appreciate that all the time, there was just
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: a I guess it's a and i'll do better tomorrow
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: point of view. A great reminder A few times this week,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: whether it's been taking the kids down to the beach
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: for a surf, or reading stories at night time, or
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: going for that run in the morning, even though they're
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: a little bit wingy and wine and I don't want
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: to do it, they're the moments that have been really
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: worth it. They're the moments that have been good. And
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I guess it just goes back to that whole thing.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: We say we want me time, but the joy is
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: really in the we time, the we time. So maybe
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: my old do better tomorrow is this weekend and next week.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I need to focus more on WE time and be
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: an active, intentional contributor to it. There's there's that question
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: that I ask parents all the time. Twenty years from now,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: when you're sitting around the barbecue or the dining table
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: talking to the kids about what was like to be
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: raised by you, what do you want them to say, oh, yeah,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Dad was always so busy. He was pretty focused on
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: his own thing. Or Dad was always there to read
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: a story, or go for a run, or go for
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: a surf, or play in the backyard to jump on
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: the trampoline. And this conversation has I feel like I'm
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: doing a one ady already. I'll see how I feel tonight,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm doing on aby right now.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: For my I'll do better tomorrow.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: It's kind of I guess it's a little flow on
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: from the things that you've shared, okay, and just the
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: acknowledgment that right now there's just there's there's a lot
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: of movement and a lot of hold in our lives
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: right now. There's some big changes about to take place,
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: lots of exciting things happening throughout the year, but there's
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: also just a lot of emotion around that. And the
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: other morning I was just kind of I'm really struggling
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: with our daughter, who has just finished high school, is
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: ready to get on with her life, and she is
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: ready to fly the coup, but she knows that.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Home is financially the area and cushing, and she wants
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: to be gone. She actually does, and I know I
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: wanted to be gone to, but only because it's good for.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: It, because that's the next phase, Like that's actually what's
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: supposed to happen. That's the progression of things, and being
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: kind of in this place where I'm watching her make
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: decisions that aren't necessarily the ones that I would like
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: to make for her, and desperately wanting to provide her
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: with I guess that autonomy supportive parenting and allow her
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: the opportunities as an adult. I mean, I don't really
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: have any say anymore, but it allow her to have
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: those opportunities and still stay close with her, and yet
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: in so many ways, she doesn't actually want us to
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: be a part of her space anymore. She really wants
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: her independence and her space. And as a mum, as
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: a parent, I don't think it really matters, but especially
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: I am struggling with that distance that's growing. And so
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: the other morning I was having a conversation with our
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: eldest and just kind of just really you know, letting
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: it all out because I just there's a I guess
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: there's a grieving process. We've been through it before, but
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: it's kind of it's hit me again and it doesn't matter.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: I don't think it matters how many times you go
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: through it. It's all new and fresh every time you
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: do it. And she said that she actually was over
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: one night while you were doing a webinar, and you
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: had actually called her in to the into the office
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: while you were doing your webinar and kind of put
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: her on the spot and asked her how old she
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: was before she recognized that we'd kind of done an
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: okay job as parents, that we knew what we were
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: talking about.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: And she said it took her a minute or two,
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: but she finally realized that it wasn't until she left home.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: It wasn't until she actually had the absolute autonomy of
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: her own space and her own life and not having
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: to answer to us for every little detail that she
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: realized just how much she appreciated the things that we
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: did for her and the values that we instilled in her,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: And especially as she watched her friends struggle with different
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: life to decis.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: It's a long time to wait for the payoff, isn't it?
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Well, it is it is. I guess.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: The short end of a long winded explanation is just
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: this acknowledgment that right now I feel a little bit sad.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: I Actually my heart's aching a little bit, but I
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: recognize and know that this is a natural progression of
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: my child actually growing up and getting on with her life,
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: which is what I've prepared her for. You know, this
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: whole eighteen years is preparation for her to do exactly that,
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: And at some point in time, hopefully it won't be
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: too long, but at some point in time, she will
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: come to recognize and understand just how much she's loved
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: and how much we've done to support her in helping
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: her to achieve the things that she wants to do.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: But right now she's exactly where she's supposed to be,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: and my heart hurts a little bit, but I know
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: that it won't be forever.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: In the end of my Misconnection book, in fact, at
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: the start of the miss Connection Book, I quote this
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: line from Mary Poppins about kids this thing that they've
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: got to do the next bit on their own. And
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: we're at that stage now. I mean, it's pretty cool,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: it's pretty dark cool. But at the same time, I mean,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: you're sitting here weeping right now because there's a grief
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: process that goes along with that as they they no
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: longer need this they just say, well, actually, I think
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I know more than you. I think I'm ready to
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: do it all and it really, it really hurts. And
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: yet that's why we do it. Such a strange emotion,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: isn't it such a strange emotion? Well, for me, the
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: takeo message of this is, yes, she's where she is.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: But if I've got younger kids, I'm going to throw
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: in a reminder. I think you've got nine hundred and
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: thirty eight weekends from the time they're born to the
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: time they're eighteen, nine hundred and thirty eight saturdays where
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: you can go down to the beach or go for
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: a ride, be involved in the in the active parenting,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: having those micro moments, having those ice creams at the
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: front of the Cold Rock ice Creamery or Baskin Robins,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: where you just get to savor that moment together that
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: that's where it happened. It's those those little moments, So
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: take advantage of them because otherwise they're suddenly eighteen or
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: nineteen and leaving home and you kind of wonder where
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: it all went and how it all happened.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: Huh.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: I guess for us, having gone through this a number
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: of times now, I can see the end. From the beginning,
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: we have our eldest daughter who's gone through this process
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: and she's come back, and you know, the joy that
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: we experience in the relationship that we have now going
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: through it for the first time, I actually thought I'd
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: lost her forever. It just felt like my heart was
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: going to be completely smashed into smithereens and it would
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: never repair. But as she progressed and like she shared
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: in her own words, got her autonomy and her space
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: and realized just how much we loved her and how
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: much you know, we had done to help her, she
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: gradually came back and the relationship that we share now
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: is beautiful and more than I ever thought we would
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: get to after.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: That process of letting her go.
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: So I think for anyone out there who's about to
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: experience it or is concerned about going through that process,
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: there is definitely light at.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: The end of the tunnel. We just have an idea
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: how long the tunnel is.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: As a bizarre side, as we wrap up this podcast,
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: you just said you felt like your heart was going
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: to be smashed to smithereens, and I thought, that's such
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: a strange word, smithereens. Where did that come from?
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: It turns out that smithereens first appeared in English in
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: eighteen twenty nine as smittherens, and is likely to derive
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: from the Irish word smytharin or smitareni, meaning fragment to
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: be smashed or blasted into tiny fragmentary pieces. Not that
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: we want our hearts to be smashing to smithereens, but
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: as a parent, it's almost guaranteed. Hey, we hope that
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: we have I'm sorry, I just I was fascinating. We
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: hope that you've enjoyed the podcast and that it helps
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: you to be better tomorrow or even today with your
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: kids as they continue to grow and move closer and
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: close to those days where they smash your hearts to
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: smithereens and move out and do the next bit on
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: their own. The Happy Families podcast produced by Justin Roland
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Have
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: a great weekend. Please, if you're enjoying the podcast, jump
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: onto Apple Podcasts and leave us a five star rating
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: and a review. We love those reviews. They helped people
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: to find the podcast, apparently through the black magic of
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: the interwebs. It makes the podcast or visible Happy Families
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: dot com dot if you'd like more info about making
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: your family happier. Thanks for listening.