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36 - At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald · At the Back of the North Wind

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Speaker 1: Diamond questions north Wind. My readers will not wonder that
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Speaker 1: after this I did my very best to gain the
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Speaker 1: friendship of Diamond, nor did I find this at all difficult.
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Speaker 1: The child was so ready to trust upon one subject alone,
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Speaker 1: was he reticent the story of his relations with north Wind.
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Speaker 1: I fancy he could not quite make up his mind
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Speaker 1: what to think of them at all events. It was
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Speaker 1: some little time before he trusted me with this. Only
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Speaker 1: then he told me everything. If I could not regard
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Speaker 1: it all in exactly the same light as he did,
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Speaker 1: I was, while guiltless of the least pretense fully sympathetic,
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Speaker 1: and he was satisfied, without demanding of me any theory
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Speaker 1: of difficult points involved. I let him see plainly enough
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Speaker 1: that whatever might be the explanation of the marvelous experience,
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Speaker 1: I would have given much for a similar one myself.
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Speaker 1: On an evening, soon after the thunder storm, in a
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Speaker 1: late way twilight, with a half moon high in the heavens,
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Speaker 1: I came upon Diamond in the act of climbing by
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Speaker 1: his little ladder into the beech tree. What are you
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Speaker 1: always going up there for, Diamond, I heard Nanny ask,
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Speaker 1: rather rudely. I thought, sometimes for one thing, sometimes for another,
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Speaker 1: Nanny answered Diamond, looking skywards as he climbed. You'll break
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Speaker 1: your neck some day, she said. I'm going up to
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Speaker 1: look at the moon to night. He added, without heeding
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Speaker 1: her remark, you'll see the moon just as well down here,
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Speaker 1: she returned. I don't think so. You'll be no nearer
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Speaker 1: to her up there. Oh yes, I shall. I must
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Speaker 1: be nearer her. You know. I wish I could dream
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Speaker 1: as pretty dreams about her as you can. Nanny, you silly.
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Speaker 1: You never have done about that dream. I never dreamed
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Speaker 1: but that one, and it was nonsense. I'm sure it
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Speaker 1: wasn't nonsense. It was a beautiful dream and a funny
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Speaker 1: one too, both in one. But what's the good of
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Speaker 1: talking about it that way when you know it was
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Speaker 1: only a dream? Dreams ain't true? That one was true? Nanny?
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Speaker 1: You know it was. Didn't you come to grief for
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Speaker 1: doing what you were told not to do? And isn't
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Speaker 1: that true? I can't get any sense into him, exclaimed Nanny,
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Speaker 1: with an expression of mild despair. Do you really believe, Diamond,
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Speaker 1: that there's a house in the moon with a beautiful
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Speaker 1: lady and a crooked old man and dusters in it.
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Speaker 1: If there isn't there's something better, he answered, and vanished
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Speaker 1: in leaves over our heads. I went into the house
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Speaker 1: where I visited often in the evenings. When I came out,
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Speaker 1: there was a little wind blowing, very pleasant after the
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Speaker 1: heat of the day, for although it was late summer
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Speaker 1: now it was still hot. The tree tops were swinging
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Speaker 1: about in it. I took my way past the beach
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Speaker 1: and called up to see if Diamond were still in
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Speaker 1: his nest in its rocking head. Are you there, Diamond,
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Speaker 1: I said, yes, sir, came his clear voice in reply.
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Speaker 1: Isn't it growing too dark for you to get down safely?
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Speaker 1: Oh no, sir, if I take time to it, I
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Speaker 1: know my way so well, and never let go with
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Speaker 1: one hand till I've got a good hold with the other.
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Speaker 1: Do be careful, I insisted, foolishly, seeing the boy was
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Speaker 1: as careful as he could be. Already, I'm coming, he returned,
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Speaker 1: I've got all the moon I want to night. I
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Speaker 1: heard a rustling, and a rustling drawing nearer and nearer.
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Speaker 1: Three or four minutes elapsed, and he appeared at length,
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Speaker 1: creeping down his little ladder. I took him in my arms,
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Speaker 1: and set him on the ground. Thank you, sir, He said,
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Speaker 1: that's the north wind blowing, isn't it, Sir, I can't tell,
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Speaker 1: I answered. It feels cool and kind, and I think
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Speaker 1: it may be, but I couldn't be sure except it
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Speaker 1: were stronger, for a gentle wind might turn any way
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Speaker 1: amongst the trunks of the trees. I shall know when
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Speaker 1: I get up to my own room, said Diamond. I
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Speaker 1: think I hear my mistress bell good night, sir. He
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Speaker 1: ran to the house and I went home. His mistress
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Speaker 1: had rung for him, only to send him to bed,
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Speaker 1: for she was very careful over him, and I dare
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Speaker 1: say thought he was not looking well. When he reached
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Speaker 1: his own room, he opened both his windows, one of
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Speaker 1: which looked to the north and the other to the east,
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Speaker 1: to find how the wind blew. It blew right in
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Speaker 1: at the northern window. Diamond was very glad, for he
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Speaker 1: thought perhaps north wind herself would come now. A real
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Speaker 1: north wind had never blown all the time since he
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Speaker 1: left London, But as she always came of herself, and
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Speaker 1: never when he was looking for her, and indeed almost
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Speaker 1: never when he was thinking of her. He shut the
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Speaker 1: east window and went to bed. Perhaps some some of
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Speaker 1: my readers may wonder that he could go to sleep
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Speaker 1: with such an expectation, And indeed, if I had not
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Speaker 1: known him, I should have wondered at it myself. But
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Speaker 1: it was one of his peculiarities, and seemed nothing strange
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Speaker 1: in him. He was so full of quietness that he
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Speaker 1: could go to sleep almost any time if he only
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Speaker 1: composed himself and let the sleep come. This time he
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Speaker 1: went fast asleep, as usual, but he woke in the
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Speaker 1: dim blue night. The moon had vanished. He thought he
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Speaker 1: heard a knocking at his door. Somebody wants me, he
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Speaker 1: said to himself, and jumping out of bed, ran to
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Speaker 1: open it, but there was no one there. He closed
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Speaker 1: it again, and the noise still continuing, found that another
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Speaker 1: door in the room was rattling. It belonged to a closet,
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Speaker 1: he thought, but he had never been able to open it.
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Speaker 1: The wind blowing in at the window must be shaking it.
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Speaker 1: He would go and see if it was so. The
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Speaker 1: door now opened quite easily, but to his surprise, instead
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Speaker 1: of a closet, he found a long, narrow room. The moon,
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Speaker 1: which was sinking in the west, shone in at the
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Speaker 1: open window. At the further end. The room was low,
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Speaker 1: with a coved ceiling, and occupied the whole top of
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Speaker 1: the house. Immediately under the roof, it was quite empty.
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Speaker 1: The yellow light of the half moon streamed over the
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Speaker 1: dark floor. He was so delighted at the discovery of
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Speaker 1: the strange, desolate, moonlit place close to his own snug
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Speaker 1: little room, that he began to dance and skip about
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Speaker 1: the floor. The wind came in through the door he
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Speaker 1: had left open, and blew about him as he danced,
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Speaker 1: and he kept turning towards it that it might blow
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Speaker 1: in his face. He kept picturing to himself the many
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Speaker 1: places lovely and desolate, the hill sides and farm yards,
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Speaker 1: and tree tops and meadows over which it had blown
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Speaker 1: on its way to the mound. And as he danced
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Speaker 1: he grew more and more delighted with the motion and
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Speaker 1: the wind. His feet grew stronger and his body lighter,
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Speaker 1: until at length it seemed as if he were borne
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Speaker 1: on the air and could almost fly. So strong did
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Speaker 1: his feeling become that at last he began to doubt
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Speaker 1: whether he was not in one of those precious dreams
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Speaker 1: he had so often had, in which he floated about
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Speaker 1: in the air at will. But something made him look up,
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Speaker 1: and to his unspeakable delight, he found his uplifted hands
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Speaker 1: lying in those of north Wind, who was dancing with
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Speaker 1: him round and round the long, bare room, her hair
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Speaker 1: now falling to the floor, now filling the arched ceiling,
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Speaker 1: her eyes shining on him like thinking stars, and the
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Speaker 1: sweetest of grand smiles, playing breezily about her beautiful mouth.
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Speaker 1: She was, as so often before, of the height of
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Speaker 1: a rather tall lady. She did not stoop in order
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Speaker 1: to dance with him, but held his hands high in hers.
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Speaker 1: When he saw her, he gave one spring, and his
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Speaker 1: arms were about her neck, and her arms holding him
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Speaker 1: to her bosom. The same moment she swept with him
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Speaker 1: through the open window in at which the moon was shining,
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Speaker 1: made a circuit like a bird about to alight, and
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Speaker 1: settled with him in his nest on top of the
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Speaker 1: great beech tree. There she placed him on her lap
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Speaker 1: and began to hush him as if he were her
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Speaker 1: own baby. And Diamond was so entirely happy that he
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Speaker 1: did not care to speak a word. At length. However,
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Speaker 1: he found that he was going to sleep, and that
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Speaker 1: would be to lose so much that pleasant as it was,
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Speaker 1: he could not consent. Please, dear north Wind, he said,
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Speaker 1: I'm so happy that I'm afraid it's a dream. How
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Speaker 1: am I to know that it's not a dream? What
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Speaker 1: does it matter? Returned north Wind. I should cry, said Diamond,
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Speaker 1: But why should you cry? The dream, if it is
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Speaker 1: a dream, is a pleasant one, is it not. That's
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Speaker 1: just why I want it to be true. Have you
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Speaker 1: forgotten what you said to Nanny about her dream. It's
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Speaker 1: not for the dream itself, I mean, it's not for
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Speaker 1: the pleasure of it, answered Diamond. For I have that,
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Speaker 1: whether it be a dream or not, it's for you,
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Speaker 1: north Wind. I can't bear to find it a dream
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Speaker 1: because I should lose you. You would be nobody then, and
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Speaker 1: I could not bear that You ain't a dream, are you,
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Speaker 1: Dear north Wind? Do say no else I shall cry
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Speaker 1: and come awake, and you'll be gone forever. I daren't
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Speaker 1: dream about you once again. If you ain't anybody, I'm
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Speaker 1: either not a dream or there's something better that's not
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Speaker 1: a dream, Diamond, said north Wind in a rather sorrowful tone.
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Speaker 1: He thought, but it's not something better, it's you I want,
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Speaker 1: north Wind, he persisted. Already beginning to cry a little.
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Speaker 1: She made no answer, but rose with him in her arms,
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Speaker 1: and sailed away over the tree tops till they came
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Speaker 1: to a meadow where a flock of sheep was feeding.
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Speaker 1: Do you remember what the song you were singing a
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Speaker 1: week ago says about bo peep? How she lost her
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Speaker 1: sheep but got twice as many lambs, asked north Wind,
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Speaker 1: sitting down on the grass and placing him in her
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Speaker 1: lap as before. Oh yes, I do well, enough, answered Diamond.
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Speaker 1: But I never just quite liked that rhyme why not child,
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Speaker 1: because it seems to say one's as good as another,
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Speaker 1: or two new ones are better than the one that's lost.
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Speaker 1: I've been thinking about it a great deal, and it
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Speaker 1: seems to me that although any one sixpence is as
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Speaker 1: good as any other sixpence, not twenty lambs would do
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Speaker 1: instead of one sheep whose face you knew somehow, when
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Speaker 1: once you've looked into anybody's eyes, right deep down into them,
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Speaker 1: I mean, nobody will do for that one any more,
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Speaker 1: nobody ever so beautiful or so good. We'll make up
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Speaker 1: for that one going out of sight, So you see,
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Speaker 1: north Wind, I can't help being frightened to think that
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Speaker 1: perhaps I am only dreaming and you are nowhere at all.
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Speaker 1: Do tell me that you are my own beautiful north Wind. Again,
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Speaker 1: she rose and shot herself into the air, as if
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Speaker 1: uneasy because she could not answer him, and Diamond lay
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Speaker 1: quiet in her arms, waiting for what she would say.
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Speaker 1: He tried to see up into her face, for he
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Speaker 1: was dreadfully afraid she was not answering him, because she
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Speaker 1: could not say that she was not a dream. But
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Speaker 1: she had let her hair fall over her face so
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Speaker 1: that he could not see it. This frightened him still more,
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Speaker 1: do speak, north Wind, he said at last. I never
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Speaker 1: speak when I have nothing to say. She replied, Then
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Speaker 1: I do think you must be a real north Wind,
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Speaker 1: and no dream, said Diamond. But I am looking for
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Speaker 1: something to say all the time. But I don't want
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Speaker 1: you to say what's hard to find. If you were
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Speaker 1: to say one word to comfort me that wasn't true,
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Speaker 1: then I should know you must be a dream. For
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Speaker 1: a great beautiful lady like you could never tell a lie.
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Speaker 1: But she mightn't know how to say what she had
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Speaker 1: to say so that a little boy like you would
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Speaker 1: understand it, said north Wind. Here, let us get down
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Speaker 1: again and I will try to tell you what I think.
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Speaker 1: You mustn't suppose I am able to answer all your questions,
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Speaker 1: though there are a great many things I don't understand
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Speaker 1: more than you do. She descended on a grassy hillock
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Speaker 1: in the midst of a wild, furzy common. There was
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Speaker 1: a rabbit warren underneath, and some of the rabbits came
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Speaker 1: out of their holes in the moonlight, looking very sober
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Speaker 1: and wise, just like patriarchs standing in their tent doors
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Speaker 1: and looking about them before going to bed. When they
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Speaker 1: saw a north wind, instead of turning round and vanishing
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Speaker 1: again with the thump of their heels, they cantered slowly
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Speaker 1: up to her and snuffled all about her with their
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Speaker 1: long upper lips, which moved every way at once. Fant
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Speaker 1: was their way of kissing her, and as she talked
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Speaker 1: to Diamond, she would every now and then stroke down
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Speaker 1: their furry backs, or lift and play with their long ears.
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Speaker 1: They would Diamond thought have leaped upon her lap, but
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Speaker 1: that he was there already, I think, said she, after
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Speaker 1: they had been sitting silent for a while, that if
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Speaker 1: I were only a dream, you would not have been
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Speaker 1: able to love me. So you love me when you
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Speaker 1: are not with me, don't you? Indeed I do, answered Diamond,
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Speaker 1: stroking her hand. I see, I see. How could I
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Speaker 1: be able to love you as I do if you
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Speaker 1: weren't there at all? You know? Besides, I couldn't be
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Speaker 1: able to dream anything half so beautiful, all out of
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Speaker 1: my own head, Or if I did, I couldn't love
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Speaker 1: a fancy of my own like that, could I? I
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Speaker 1: think not? You might have loved me in a dream,
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Speaker 1: dreamily and forgotten me when you woke, I dare say,
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Speaker 1: but not love me like a real being as you
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Speaker 1: love me even then. I don't think you could dream
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Speaker 1: anything that hadn't something real like its somewhere. But you've
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Speaker 1: seen me in many shapes, Diamond. You remember I was
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Speaker 1: a wolf once, don't you? Oh? Yes, a good wolf
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Speaker 1: that frightened a naughty, drunken nurse. Well, suppose I were
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Speaker 1: to turn ugly? Would you rather I weren't a dream? Then? Yes,
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Speaker 1: For I should know that you were beautiful inside all
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Speaker 1: the same. You would love me, and I should love
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Speaker 1: you all the same. I shouldn't like you to look ugly,
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Speaker 1: you know, but I shouldn't believe it a bit, not
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Speaker 1: if you saw it. No, not if I saw it ever,
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Speaker 1: so plain, there's my diamond. I will tell you all
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Speaker 1: I know about it. Then, I don't think I am
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Speaker 1: just what you fancy me to be. I have to
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Speaker 1: shape myself various ways to various people, but the heart
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Speaker 1: of me is true. People call me by dreadful names
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Speaker 1: and think they know all about me, but they don't.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes they call me bad fortune, sometimes evil chance, sometimes ruin.
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Speaker 1: And they have another name for me, which they think
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Speaker 1: the most dreadful of all. What is that, asked diamond,
15:12
Speaker 1: smiling up in her face. I won't tell you that name.
15:16
Speaker 1: Do you remember having to go through me to get
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Speaker 1: into the country at my back? Oh? Yes I do.
15:22
Speaker 1: How cold you were, a north wind and so white
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Speaker 1: all but your lovely eyes. My heart grew like a
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Speaker 1: lump of ice, and then I forgot for a while
15:33
Speaker 1: you were very near knowing what they call me? Then
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Speaker 1: would you be afraid of me if you had to
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Speaker 1: go through me again? No? Why should I? Indeed I
15:43
Speaker 1: should be glad enough if it was only to get
15:45
Speaker 1: another peep of the country at your back. You've never
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Speaker 1: seen it yet, hamn't I north Wind? Oh? I'm sorry
15:54
Speaker 1: I thought I had? What did I see then, only
15:58
Speaker 1: a picture of it. The country at my real back
16:01
Speaker 1: is ever so much more beautiful than that. You shall
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Speaker 1: see it one day, perhaps before very long. Do they
16:10
Speaker 1: sing songs there? Don't you remember the dream you had
16:14
Speaker 1: about the little boy said dug for the stars? Yes,
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Speaker 1: that I do. I thought you must have had something
16:20
Speaker 1: to do with that dream. It was so beautiful. Yes,
16:24
Speaker 1: I gave you that dream, Oh thank you. Did you
16:29
Speaker 1: give Nanny her dream too about the moon and the bees? Yes?
16:34
Speaker 1: I was the lady that sat at the window of
16:36
Speaker 1: the moon. Oh thank you. I was almost sure you
16:41
Speaker 1: had something to do with that too. And did you
16:44
Speaker 1: tell mister Raymond the story about the Princess Daylight? I
16:48
Speaker 1: believe I had something to do with it at all events.
16:52
Speaker 1: He thought about it one night when he couldn't sleep.
16:55
Speaker 1: But I want to ask you whether you remember the
16:58
Speaker 1: song the boy Angels sang in that tree of yours. No,
17:02
Speaker 1: I couldn't keep it do what I would, and I
17:04
Speaker 1: did try. That was my fault. How could that be
17:09
Speaker 1: north Wind? Because I didn't know it properly myself, and
17:14
Speaker 1: so I couldn't teach it to you. I could only
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Speaker 1: make a rough guess at something like what it would be.
17:20
Speaker 1: And so I wasn't able to make you dream it
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Speaker 1: hard enough to remember it, nor would I have done
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Speaker 1: so if I could, for it was not correct. I
17:28
Speaker 1: made you dream pictures of it, though, But you will
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Speaker 1: hear the very song itself when you do get to
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Speaker 1: the back of my own dear north Wind, said Diamond,
17:40
Speaker 1: finishing the sentence for her and kissing the arm that
17:43
Speaker 1: held him leaning against her. And now we've settled all
17:47
Speaker 1: this for the time at least, said north Wind. But
17:51
Speaker 1: I can't feel quite sure yet, said Diamond. You must
17:55
Speaker 1: wait awhile for that meantime you may be hopeful and
17:59
Speaker 1: conte and not to be quite sure. Come now, I
18:03
Speaker 1: will take you home again, for it won't do to
18:05
Speaker 1: tire you too much. Oh no, no, I'm not the
18:09
Speaker 1: least tired, pleaded Diamond. It is better, though, very well,
18:14
Speaker 1: if you wish it, yielded Diamond with a sigh. You
18:18
Speaker 1: are a dear good boy, said north Wind. I will
18:22
Speaker 1: come for you again to morrow night and take you
18:24
Speaker 1: out for a longer time. We shall make a little
18:27
Speaker 1: journey together. In fact, we shall start earlier, and as
18:31
Speaker 1: the moon will be later, we shall have a little
18:33
Speaker 1: moonlight all the way, She rose and swept over the
18:37
Speaker 1: meadow and the trees. In a few moments the mound
18:40
Speaker 1: appeared below them. She sank a little and floated in
18:44
Speaker 1: at the window of Diamond's room. There she laid him
18:47
Speaker 1: on his bed, covered him over, and in a moment
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Speaker 1: he was lapped in a dreamless sleep. End of Chapter
18:57
Speaker 1: thirty six. Recording by Marisoqui