Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #541 Holiday Highlight - Mark McCrindle

Transcript

#541 Holiday Highlight - Mark McCrindle · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now, Hello the Stocks. Justin Colson, the parenting expert on
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  Speaker 2: Channel Line's Parental Guidance and author of six books. Seventh
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  Speaker 2: book comes out in a couple of weeks time. Stay
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  Speaker 2: tuned to the podcast for more. Recently, we were having
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  Speaker 2: a conversation on the Happy Families podcast and I just
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  Speaker 2: loved it. Decided to share a bit more about this.
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  Speaker 2: A highlight from the Happy Families Podcast. Mark McCrindle is
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  Speaker 2: the author of the book Generation Alpha. Mark talked about
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  Speaker 2: raising a Generation Alpha child and the importance of them
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  Speaker 2: being well developed across a range of experiences. It all
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  Speaker 2: came from episode two hundred and ninety four.
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  Speaker 1: All the parents are really focused when it comes to education.
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  Speaker 1: Are looking for an outcome that will create a holistic
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  Speaker 1: development in their child, you know, and I think that's important.
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  Speaker 1: They don't just want the numerous in literacy. They don't
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  Speaker 1: just want better and better exam results. They want their
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  Speaker 1: child to develop in perhaps music or artistic areas. They
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  Speaker 1: want them to develop spiritually. They want them to develop
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  Speaker 1: socially and with sporting or coordination skills, and I think
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  Speaker 1: that's important, that's essential, and they need to think about
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  Speaker 1: that in their own raising of the children. In other words,
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  Speaker 1: we want our children to really be well developed across
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  Speaker 1: a broad range of areas, not just to be digitally
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  Speaker 1: savvy and you know, academically focused, because you know, the
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  Speaker 1: future is going to belong to those who can be leaders,
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  Speaker 1: make decisions, understand complexity, adapt relate well across diversity, which
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  Speaker 1: is our modern community and workplace, and that is best
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  Speaker 1: developed by getting a range of experiences, going you know,
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  Speaker 1: to camps and having broader experiences, whether that be in
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  Speaker 1: social context or youth development programs, being able to engage
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  Speaker 1: in the outdoors, you know, not just spend all the
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  Speaker 1: time on screens and indoors. So if we can give
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  Speaker 1: our children these broader experiences, that will set them up
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  Speaker 1: well to holistically flourish. Mark.
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  Speaker 2: I know that there's more that we could talk about
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  Speaker 2: with Generation Alf, but I really want to pick you
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  Speaker 2: up on some of the things that you've highlighted there
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  Speaker 2: because of just the supreme importance of what you've highlighted
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  Speaker 2: and the fact that our world seems to be moving
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  Speaker 2: away from much of what you've described. We seem to
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  Speaker 2: be pushing for early specialization. We seem to be focusing
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  Speaker 2: our children on early technical skills. They're not getting that
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  Speaker 2: holistic childhood because we're so focused on unintentionally applying pressure
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  Speaker 2: with the best of intentions so that they can be successful.
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  Speaker 2: But it doesn't seem to me that as parents in
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  Speaker 2: today's increasingly busy pressured world, that we're getting that right.
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  Speaker 2: When you were doing your research, do anything stand out
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  Speaker 2: to you along those lines that you could point to
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  Speaker 2: that might be helpful for parents to maybe pull back
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  Speaker 2: a bit where they need to and get the balance right.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, And I think it is particularly around controlling
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  Speaker 1: or at least bracketing the use of screens in their world,
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  Speaker 1: because we found in this research that's seventy five percent
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  Speaker 1: of the discretionary time, the after school, after chores time
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  Speaker 1: that children have is spent on screens. So if you
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  Speaker 1: give your child a choice, or if you give them
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  Speaker 1: free time, they're going to grab the screen. That's the
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  Speaker 1: go to. It's easy, it's it's addictive in terms of
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  Speaker 1: its interaction, and therefore, if we can constrain that somewhat,
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  Speaker 1: it'll free up space to do those other things. So
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  Speaker 1: that they can holistically develop, which is so key are
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  Speaker 1: we say in the book we got lots of tips
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  Speaker 1: in it, but partly it's at things like setting the
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  Speaker 1: example ourselves. A lot of the times, you know, we
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  Speaker 1: stort of saying, hey, off the screen while we're scrolling
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  Speaker 1: through something. If we can put them to bed the
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  Speaker 1: way our grandparents did you know a good old story
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  Speaker 1: and reflecting on the day, if we can have maybe
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  Speaker 1: a reset, maybe we're all just two screen addicted. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: we have screen free Sundays, or maybe we have a
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  Speaker 1: three day break in the holidays where there's just no screens.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe we use the screens, but we have a shared
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  Speaker 1: screen experience. Hey, we're going to watch a family movie
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  Speaker 1: night on Friday night instead of everyone just just dissipating
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  Speaker 1: off to their own screen experience. We put in the
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  Speaker 1: book a four letter acronym that came through the research
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  Speaker 1: that might help parents DCBA, and the D stands for
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  Speaker 1: delay the access to the device or just limit the
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  Speaker 1: device used. Rather than give the eight or nine or
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  Speaker 1: ten year old their own device, wait until they maybe
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  Speaker 1: hit the teenagers, if we can sure they might for
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  Speaker 1: their schooling need access to ours or for a little
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  Speaker 1: bit of that screen time, but at least if it's
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  Speaker 1: not their own, they don't have twenty four seven use
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  Speaker 1: of it, and that's going to delay some of the use.
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  Speaker 1: And then the C is communicate the values, communicate what
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  Speaker 1: we're about so that they can start to make the
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  Speaker 1: right decisions as to what games or interactions they have
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  Speaker 1: and how they behave online. That the B is the
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  Speaker 1: behavioral skills. Let's give them some skills, some social skills
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  Speaker 1: so that they can self limit and when they have
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  Speaker 1: the urge just to reach for the screen, they can say, actually,
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  Speaker 1: I've learned to go for a walk or kick a
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  Speaker 1: socle all around us something else. So behavioral skills, because
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  Speaker 1: their life is going to be filled with impulses and
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  Speaker 1: with the opportunities just to grab onto what makes them
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  Speaker 1: feel good. But if they can develop some self restraint,
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  Speaker 1: that's great. And the A stands for accountability. Ultimately, parents
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  Speaker 1: have to provide a safe environment for the children. And
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  Speaker 1: if we can have accountability around how much time they're spending,
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  Speaker 1: or where they're going, or even checking on some of
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  Speaker 1: the social media or some of the screen use, that's
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  Speaker 1: going to be healthy for them and keep them accountable
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  Speaker 1: as they make their own improved choices in life.
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  Speaker 2: That's Mark McCrindle, the author of Generation Alpha, on episode
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  Speaker 2: two hundred and ninety four of the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Imagine a relationship where you felt seen, heard, and valued.
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  Speaker 2: One where as your partner enters the front door, they
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  Speaker 2: see you and their eyes light up. A relationship like
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  Speaker 2: that is a gift. If you don't have it, now
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  Speaker 2: you can. The Happy Family's webinar Better Together gives you
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  Speaker 2: the insight, tools and support you need to have a
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  Speaker 2: happier relationship, Available now at the Happy Family's webshop. The
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  Speaker 2: Happy Families membership is available right now. It's thirteen dollars
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  Speaker 2: a month for a basic membership or eighteen dollars a
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  Speaker 2: month for a premium membership. With that membership, you get
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  Speaker 2: so much value to make your family happier. You'll receive
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  Speaker 2: a monthly webinar. Recently, we've been talking about everything from
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  Speaker 2: emotion coaching to carrots and sticks. We've been talking about
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  Speaker 2: how to guide our children successfully, what to do about
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  Speaker 2: praising our kids, why that's a problem, how to minimize control,
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  Speaker 2: why competition can undermine our kids well being, and so
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  Speaker 2: much more, and the rest of this year's webinars have
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  Speaker 2: been penciled into the calendar, and you wouldn't believe how
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  Speaker 2: great the content will be. Normally, it's thirty bucks a
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  Speaker 2: month for a webinar. If you are a Happy Family's member,
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  Speaker 2: it's only thirteen dollars or eighteen dollars. But on top
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  Speaker 2: of the webinars, you also receive a monthly Q and
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  Speaker 2: A with Me. And if it's not a Q and A,
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  Speaker 2: it's an Ask the Expert, where I bring in experts
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  Speaker 2: about specific topics like technology, or friendships or school issues,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: and the list goes on and on. Oh, by the way,
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  Speaker 2: we also do this thing once a quarter called a
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  Speaker 2: role play with Doctor j. Two or three people get
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  Speaker 2: to spend some time while everyone else takes notes and
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  Speaker 2: listens carefully as we go through role plays. Here's what
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  Speaker 2: you do when you kids are having a hard time.
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  Speaker 2: They tell me what their problem is, and then I
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  Speaker 2: roll play it as if they're the kid and I'm
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  Speaker 2: the parent, and then we swap so they get to
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  Speaker 2: discover just how hard it is to do it, so
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  Speaker 2: that we can help you to improve your parenting and
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  Speaker 2: progress it in the right direction, role play with doctor
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  Speaker 2: j A, Doctor JQ and A, and ask the expert.
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  Speaker 2: That's all part of the Happy Family's Premium membership. On
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  Speaker 2: top of that, if you're a premium member, you get
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  Speaker 2: access to our entire webinar video library. We are talking
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  Speaker 2: There's more stuff than I have time to tell you about.
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  Speaker 2: The value is amazing. Oh by the way, if you
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  Speaker 2: get a twelve month membership, we'll give you two months free.
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  Speaker 2: So you pay upfront and instead of paying twelve times
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  Speaker 2: thirteen or twelve times eighteen. I can't do the mask,
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  Speaker 2: but whatever it is, you just pay one hundred and
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  Speaker 2: thirty or one hundred and eighty bucks. We times are
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  Speaker 2: all there. So that's the Happy Families membership. We don't
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  Speaker 2: usually do pretty hard seals on the podcast, but a
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  Speaker 2: couple of times during these school holidays, I wanted to
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  Speaker 2: make sure that you're aware of it because there's so
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  Speaker 2: much value and it makes such a difference in people's lives.
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  Speaker 2: The Happy Families membership. You can find it online at
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  Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot au. The Happy Families podcast
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  Speaker 2: is produced by Justin Ruhland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce
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  Speaker 2: is our executive producer and if you want more info
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  Speaker 2: about making your family happy, I check out our memberships
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  Speaker 2: or just visit us at happy families dot com dot au.