Latest / The Joy Jolt Podcast / Joy from Down Under: Death and Joy Live with The Joy Jolt Nat & Sue

Transcript

Joy from Down Under: Death and Joy Live with The Joy Jolt Nat & Sue · The Joy Jolt Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_00: I am home in Australia.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: I did a little last minute dash to Australia to attend my mum's service.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: So mum made her transition last week?
0:16
SPEAKER_00: She did.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: She did.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: So mum made her transition last week and now you're in Australia.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: And so we're doing the Joy Jolt from Down Under.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, half.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Half under.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm in Mexico.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Still hanging out in Mexico.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: This is interesting because talking about this,
0:39
SPEAKER_00: I think it's an interesting subject,
0:42
SPEAKER_00: an important subject.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: It really is one that connects all of us.
0:46
But this how we relate to death and what comes up when we're
0:51
having this very human
0:52
SPEAKER_00: experience,
0:53
SPEAKER_00: the most human experience beyond birth,
0:56
SPEAKER_00: which is death.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Right?
0:59
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's also the holding of two things,
1:04
SPEAKER_01: two truths that are opposite,
1:07
SPEAKER_01: but both true,
1:08
SPEAKER_01: but holding that in the same moment.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, I spoke to Dad last night.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: I tried to speak to Dad.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: He didn't have his hearing aids in, so it was a little challenging.
1:18
But what he was telling me was that he goes,
1:21
look,
1:21
you know,
1:21
I'm sad that mum is gone.
1:25
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, she had been in a home for the last few years.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: Dad looked after her as long as he possibly could.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: She had dementia.
1:33
And so he felt like it was his purpose or his joy and his job
1:38
to look after her.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: So when he couldn't, you know, she went in the home.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: But there was an existence.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, she was getting worse with the dementia.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: She wasn't recognizing people.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: And then she broke a leg.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: And as we know, with older people, my mum was 90.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: 90.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: 90.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: She had a good innings, as we say in Australia.
2:02
And,
2:03
but,
2:03
you know,
2:03
and they're like,
2:04
well,
2:04
we don't put it through the surgery.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: She probably won't survive it.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: Let's just make it comfortable.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: and she passed peacefully in her sleep a week later.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's really all you can ask for, really.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my God.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: It was the best, the best.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: But Dad is torn because he goes,
2:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm really happy that she's gone because I didn't want her to suffer.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: But he struggles.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: with the guilt of thinking that or saying that.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Holding all of that, right?
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Holding all of that's really difficult.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: That deep sense of loss, that deep sense of kind of just almost relief.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, how am I feeling this when this is happening?
2:46
SPEAKER_00: So I think that's part of joy is holding it all.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: Just opening yourself to all of the feeling, all of what you're feeling.
2:55
yeah and even for me I mean it's it's it's a different
2:59
situation um I've done a lot
3:02
of work around my mom we had a very tumultuous relationship
3:08
when I was younger um
3:10
and you know and a lot of the work that I've done and
3:13
especially around the reframe
3:16
of that situation um because she was you know quite abusive and
3:21
everything when I
3:21
SPEAKER_01: with
3:22
with all of us but my sister and I especially when we were
3:25
younger but I realized
3:27
how that experience for me helped me to become more resilient
3:33
and more independent
3:34
and stronger and ambitious and all of these things that helped
3:39
to propel me to this
3:41
life and I know someone said to me the other day they go oh how
3:44
are you feeling
3:45
SPEAKER_01: about this you know knowing you know what your story is and I go well
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I've done the forgiveness work.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: I've actually spoke to her about it.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: We've exchanged I love yous.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: We, you know, I feel complete with all of that.
4:01
And even though that was my situation,
4:03
it did not hold me back at all in my life.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: It was great emphasis on not at all.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: And you're, you know.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, look at the incredible life I have.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: And I mean,
4:18
SPEAKER_00: we really are,
4:19
SPEAKER_00: and all of us,
4:21
SPEAKER_00: no matter what our background is,
4:22
SPEAKER_00: we are really the story we tell.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: Because,
4:26
SPEAKER_00: because even I mean,
4:27
SPEAKER_00: what's even weird about the idea is like,
4:30
SPEAKER_00: what you experienced,
4:31
SPEAKER_00: it was real,
4:32
SPEAKER_00: but it doesn't exist anymore.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: And what makes it real is how you relate to it in your present moment.
4:38
And so if you're relating to it from the space of the pain and
4:42
the hurt and the,
4:43
SPEAKER_00: you know,
4:43
SPEAKER_00: then it brings all that pain and hurt and sadness,
4:46
SPEAKER_00: you know,
4:47
SPEAKER_00: forward.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Or if you're thinking about,
4:50
I want to relate to this in a way that I want to feel empowered
4:53
and I want to feel
4:55
SPEAKER_00: complete.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: I desire to be able to move on.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: And then you'll bring that forward.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: And you can, you know, so it's really interesting.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: We really are the story that we tell.
5:04
yeah and I think too it's um most of the time when you really
5:09
think about the story
5:10
that you're telling you're telling it from the version of the
5:14
five-year-old like
5:17
your story hasn't changed yeah over the years um and I remember
5:22
when I was working
5:23
with a coach in 2020 um she said to me she goes Nat it's about
5:29
time you started
5:30
Telling that story from the place of evolution of where you are
5:33
right now.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, ooh, ooh.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
5:38
I like that because I think about that like related to what we
5:41
want to do.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: We hold so tight to the story as if the story is the reality.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:47
And the story is only reality because we're giving it,
5:50
we're holding on to it so tightly.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: But that's what happened.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: And so the freedom of your therapist saying, hey, just open yourself.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Joy.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: Joy.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: So the process of healing is just opening yourself,
6:04
SPEAKER_00: just opening yourself to tell a different story,
6:07
opening yourself to know that the reality that you might be
6:09
carrying forward isn't
6:11
SPEAKER_00: the only reality,
6:12
SPEAKER_00: right?
6:13
SPEAKER_00: And so what's interesting,
6:14
SPEAKER_00: and I'll say this to you as somebody whose mom's been gone for 20 years,
6:18
I am super excited about the relationship you get to have with
6:22
your mom moving
6:23
SPEAKER_00: forward.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: You know,
6:25
SPEAKER_00: and I'm going to also tell you,
6:26
you're not exempt from the very human emotions that you're
6:29
going to need to go
6:30
SPEAKER_00: through over these next few months.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Like you're going to see your family,
6:34
SPEAKER_00: you're going to be at the,
6:35
SPEAKER_00: it's going to bring up some stuff and you're going to,
6:37
SPEAKER_00: you're going to,
6:38
SPEAKER_00: you know,
6:38
SPEAKER_00: so nobody's exempt.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: So you're not exempt.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: from needing to go through the five stages of grief and all,
6:44
SPEAKER_00: you know,
6:45
SPEAKER_00: however the waves of grief are going to come in for you.
6:47
But what I'm excited for is after that human experience that
6:51
your body needs to go
6:52
SPEAKER_00: through,
6:53
you will have a relationship with your mother that wasn't
6:55
possible in life.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: In life, yeah.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: No, I agree.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: I absolutely agree.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, and it's wonderful.
7:03
My sister,
7:03
oldest sister,
7:04
so I have seven siblings,
7:07
five sisters,
7:08
two brothers.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of dynamics.
7:14
My older sister is kind of taking the charge and helping to
7:17
organize the service.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: And she goes,
7:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to be doing the eulogy,
7:22
SPEAKER_01: but I'm getting everyone to share a fun story,
7:24
SPEAKER_01: a happy memory about mum.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: And I want to share this one with you because it was just brilliant.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, my mum grew up in a country town.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Never left the country town.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: She lived there her whole life, right?
7:37
SPEAKER_01: She was one of 14 kids.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
7:40
SPEAKER_01: And then she had, and then there was eight of us.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: So we're a big family as well.
7:44
SPEAKER_01: So,
7:45
SPEAKER_01: you know,
7:45
SPEAKER_01: mum and dad did sacrifice a lot in their life to,
7:49
SPEAKER_01: you know,
7:49
with working and trying to raise eight children and did an
7:53
amazing job for the most
7:55
SPEAKER_01: part.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so when I was an adult, I took mum to the ballet.
8:03
she'd never been to a ballet and it was at the opera house in
8:07
Sydney the one that's
8:09
the white wow yeah so she uh my sister Suzette came with her
8:13
drove her to Sydney we
8:16
went to the opera house you know we're having champagne and the
8:19
opera was beautiful
8:20
SPEAKER_01: it was just amazing my mom was just in awe she loved it
8:25
So then we leave the opera house and we're walking at Circular
8:28
Quay there and we
8:29
SPEAKER_01: sat at one of the cafes and we're,
8:30
SPEAKER_01: you know,
8:30
having coffee and a little bit of cake and whatever and just
8:33
talking about the
8:34
SPEAKER_01: ballet.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: And next thing you hear these things, bang!
8:38
SPEAKER_01: And my sister goes, what was that?
8:40
SPEAKER_01: And I go, that sounded like fireworks.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: Now, this is a Monday night.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: A regular old Monday night.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: A regular old Monday night.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: Anyway,
8:49
we look over and we just walk out and there's this huge
8:52
fireworks display coming
8:54
off a barge in the middle of the Sydney Harbour Wow It was
8:58
amazing I think your mum
8:59
SPEAKER_00: was just like I know,
9:01
SPEAKER_01: she was,
9:02
yeah she had never personally seen fireworks like that and my
9:08
mum's like I wonder
9:09
SPEAKER_01: what the fireworks are for I go,
9:11
SPEAKER_01: well mum,
9:12
you know it's your first ballet I thought I'd do something
9:15
special you know and
9:16
SPEAKER_01: organise some fireworks for you
9:20
SPEAKER_01: and she looks at me and she goes, really?
9:23
SPEAKER_01: And I went, no, mom.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: No, no, mom.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: I love you, but that's a parge.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: I love you, but that's a parge.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: That's a big thing to pull off.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah,
9:34
SPEAKER_01: so we kind of joked about that,
9:36
SPEAKER_01: but yeah,
9:37
SPEAKER_01: it was the perfect ending to her first ballet night,
9:41
SPEAKER_01: which was the fireworks.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: What was your mom's name?
9:44
SPEAKER_01: Her name was Patricia Joan.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Patricia Joan.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: Patricia Joan.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: We love her.
9:51
my sister's middle name is Joan yeah there you go I didn't know
9:55
that know that
9:55
little connection and you know and if there's anything that
9:58
that I can um that I
10:01
loved about my mom is that she was always finding ways to bring
10:05
joy uh even if
10:08
SPEAKER_01: especially if it didn't cost anything yeah okay
10:12
SPEAKER_00: You know why?
10:13
SPEAKER_00: Because Joy is free.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: No, it is.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: It is free.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: Oh, my God.
10:18
We used to have to do so many things like,
10:19
you know,
10:20
we go blackberry picking.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: So imagine a four-door,
10:24
like a sedan with eight kids in it and we're all dressed in
10:27
dad's old overalls.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: And nobody has a seatbelt on.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, not with that many people.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: And we drive and then we pull up at someone's property.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, we live in the country.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: We lived in the country.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: And that all these kids pile out of the car,
10:43
SPEAKER_01: they would grab a bucket each,
10:44
SPEAKER_01: we jump the fence,
10:46
SPEAKER_01: we run over and then we're in the big blackberry bush and we're picking
10:50
SPEAKER_01: blackberries.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: And we'd come up with buckets,
10:53
buckets of blackberries And mum would bake blackberry pie and
10:57
blackberry jam and,
10:58
SPEAKER_01: you know,
10:58
SPEAKER_00: blackberry whatever Now,
11:00
SPEAKER_00: you were jumping over a friend's,
11:02
SPEAKER_00: were you allowed to be there?
11:04
SPEAKER_00: Was this like drive-by berry picking?
11:05
We were not This was drive-by berry picking This was like berry
11:10
picking at your own
11:11
SPEAKER_00: risk This is like high-risk berry picking,
11:13
SPEAKER_00: I love this Yeah,
11:16
SPEAKER_01: and we used to,
11:16
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't say it was legal,
11:18
SPEAKER_01: but it was fun
11:19
it was so fun so fun and we do the same thing mushroom picking
11:22
and you know we'd
11:24
always you know Christmas and everything we'd make up games
11:28
we'd you know and it
11:30
was all you know we used to play a game called sticks we had
11:33
these different sticks
11:33
and you have to jump in between the sticks but then when you
11:36
get to the end you can
11:37
SPEAKER_01: choose a stick and you know move one of them and
11:40
My brother broke his arm playing that,
11:42
so that's when I had to stop playing sticks.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Knicks on the stick.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: Ex-nay on the stick days.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: Ex-nays.
11:48
But,
11:48
yeah,
11:48
she was always looking for ways to make our life fun and
11:53
joyful.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: And one of the also cool things that she used to do,
11:57
SPEAKER_01: we'd get home from school and she'd make pikelets.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: So pikelets are like little mini pancakes.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: So you think about this.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: This is, you know, flour, water, eggs, inexpensive, very easy to make.
12:11
But the joy that we would feel coming home and we'd be trying
12:14
to pull them out of
12:15
the frying pan just with our fingers and we'd be putting like
12:19
melting butter and
12:20
SPEAKER_01: putting jam or something on it.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: It was just, yeah.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: So there was some lovely memories as well.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: And she,
12:29
SPEAKER_01: even though it was,
12:29
SPEAKER_01: you know,
12:31
we would have moments where things were challenging and
12:33
stressful and whatever.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: Sounds like you were living a life.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Sounded like you were living a life.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:40
right i mean that's that's it is right there's moments of joy
12:43
there's moments of
12:44
stress and but what are you relating to and all of it's true i
12:47
love the love the
12:49
pancake story you know my yeah i don't know my my mom was also
12:54
a source of joy for
12:54
me too and i i think after she passed it was interesting i took
12:58
about a year that
13:00
is a little bit of a different i think situation because my mom
13:03
i don't know if i
13:04
SPEAKER_00: was ready for i was
13:05
my mom wasn't quite where your mom was at I think my mom was a
13:08
little too young my
13:09
mom was only in her 60s when she passed and so I wasn't really
13:12
I wasn't ready for
13:14
it even though we we got kind of a long goodbye because she was
13:18
sick for like eight
13:18
years and so she was sick for a long time but you're never
13:23
ready you know but but
13:26
man I would have loved if she could have made it to 90 that
13:29
would have been that
13:29
SPEAKER_00: would have been epic but but I just I remember that that
13:35
She'd always tell me,
13:35
she goes,
13:36
you know,
13:36
Susan,
13:37
I'm going to come back and haunt you.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to come back and haunt you.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: And I loved that, you know, it was like,
13:44
and she does she really does come back and in in in ways that
13:48
are so intimate to me
13:50
and I just kind of feel my mother and it's funny because I
13:53
didn't I never felt my
13:54
mother before but now I feel her like sometimes I'll be sitting
13:58
there and I'll
13:58
literally feel like my mom kind of is is inhabiting my body
14:02
just for a second to
14:03
look at people because she loved to watch people and so I just
14:06
kind of feel like
14:07
I've got these moments when I'm walking to the store and I'm
14:09
doing something like
14:10
SPEAKER_00: my mom that I'm like oh my god it's totally my mom
14:13
and so it's like that's those are those fun moments for me that
14:17
my mom was the
14:18
creator the original joy jolter you know she walk around that's
14:22
right she go I
14:23
SPEAKER_00: don't know you know
14:27
SPEAKER_00: What's going on mom?
14:28
I'm just so excited She would just be excited And it was fun
14:35
Looking back on all
14:35
those stories I'm excited for What is going to be a really
14:41
Wildly sacred next few
14:42
days For you with family and friends And I think the other
14:46
thing That's really
14:47
important And I know we have mentioned this before But Joy is a
14:50
choice So I'm about
14:53
SPEAKER_01: to go To my country town Home country town
14:58
SPEAKER_01: and stay with my dad.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: All my siblings will be arriving.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: And one part of me is like, ooh, this could be interesting.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I get on with all my siblings.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: I do.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: I get on with all my siblings.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm closer to some more than others, but I get on with everybody.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't say the same for them.
15:21
There is a few and I keep forgetting the politics and who's
15:24
speaking to who and what's going on.
15:26
um uh but I'm I know that in the midst of what could possibly
15:33
be some you know
15:35
uncomfortableness or easiness or whatever um my choice is going
15:39
to be joy yeah I
15:41
love that I love that right you can use that to pre-pave and
15:45
joy doesn't just mean
15:46
that you're not feeling the feelings it's just saying you know
15:51
it's joy is is the
15:53
SPEAKER_00: is the the the goal like you know
15:56
SPEAKER_00: I want you to laugh a lot.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: I want you to feel a lot, cry a lot.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Do it all.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Do it all.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: It's going to be a roller coaster.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because I feel like I think about death a lot.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you do.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: I do.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: I think about death a lot.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I do.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: I've always said none of us get out of here alive.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: It's like the number one cause of death on the planet is birth
16:30
right that's it when you're born you're gonna die we're all
16:33
terminal nobody's
16:34
sitting out here alive you know and so it's like I do think
16:39
that when you operate
16:40
at a space of acknowledging that this what this is that this is
16:45
is fleeting it does
16:48
plug you back into at least for me it plugs me back into like
16:52
choosing a deeper
16:53
SPEAKER_00: sense of joy making that choice at a deeper level like it is it is all so
16:58
SPEAKER_00: precarious
17:00
yeah you know and so I think it's interesting because sometimes
17:04
when people talk
17:05
about death it could be Phil Morose but whoa whoa whoa what if
17:08
death is is where we
17:10
can really mine that deeper connection to joy yeah like I know
17:16
I have a lot of
17:17
friends who've had near-death experiences and one of my good
17:22
friends Anita Moorjani
17:23
SPEAKER_01: she wrote a book called Dying to be Me
17:25
Yeah and if you look at that there are thousands and thousands
17:29
of near-death
17:30
experience accounts and they're all very very similar and I
17:35
love her description of
17:36
it and her description is like okay let's just say that you
17:40
live in a warehouse and
17:43
SPEAKER_01: you have a flashlight and
17:46
SPEAKER_01: and what you see in this warehouse is what's in the flashlight.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: That's all you see.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Life is like this.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: You get to see everything that's in your flashlight.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: When you move around, that's what you see.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: She goes,
17:58
SPEAKER_01: but when you go to the other side,
17:59
SPEAKER_01: it's like someone just turned the light on in the warehouse and she goes,
18:04
SPEAKER_01: and all of a sudden it's like,
18:07
and the colors and the things and all these things that you
18:11
weren't even aware of
18:13
because all you could see was what was in the beam of your
18:16
flashlight I love that
18:18
SPEAKER_01: description that's what it's like is that going to be our experience?
18:24
I don't know but it doesn't matter because that's my belief
18:30
because that's my
18:31
SPEAKER_01: belief I'm like death yeah
18:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay, when it's my time, it's my time.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean,
18:36
I don't want to go and there's plenty of things I want to get
18:39
done and want to do
18:40
SPEAKER_01: and experiences to be had.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: But I'm not afraid of death.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm like,
18:46
SPEAKER_01: well,
18:47
SPEAKER_01: if that's my belief of what I think is going to happen,
18:49
SPEAKER_01: it just takes that whole thing.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't want it to be painful on the way out.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're going to.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: You're not going to go up.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: I always tell my kids, I'm like, you know how mom's going to die?
19:00
SPEAKER_00: And if you ask my kids, they'll go like this.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: They'll go, this is how mom's going to die.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: I want it to be fast.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: So my kids even know how I'm going to die, right?
19:10
SPEAKER_00: Because I've always said, I'm going to die my own unique death.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: It's not going to be my mother's death.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to have my own experience and it's going to look like that.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: I know.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: I always say it's going to be something spectacular.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Although I feel really bad.
19:29
I don't know if you've seen in the news about the girl,
19:31
the bungee jumping in Brazil.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: That is crazy.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
19:40
so for those of you who haven't seen the news or haven't been
19:43
online this week,
19:45
there was a bungee jumping thing down in Brazil and these three
19:49
guys had the girl
19:51
SPEAKER_01: up,
19:51
SPEAKER_01: you know,
19:52
SPEAKER_01: in a horizontal position and threw her off,
19:57
SPEAKER_01: but they had forgotten to attach her to the bungee.
20:01
I can't,
20:02
I can't even,
20:02
you know,
20:03
and nobody checked and it was sitting right there.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: You could see it in the video.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was, yeah.
20:10
so I'm just you know I've been talking to a few people about it
20:13
I go my hope for
20:15
her was that she blacked out halfway down you know what you
20:19
know what let's be
20:20
SPEAKER_00: honest she didn't know she didn't have a rope on her yeah
20:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, she didn't know she did that.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: She would have realized at some stage.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: Like a really,
20:29
SPEAKER_00: really tiny fraction of the second when she realized,
20:32
SPEAKER_00: oh,
20:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to make my way out of this.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: But you know, like she thought she had a rope on.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: So I think she thought she was going to be safe in that experience.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: But there's like,
20:39
I also think about like that one woman who was sitting in like
20:42
row 23A on the
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Southwest Airline or one of the airlines and like something hit the,
20:48
SPEAKER_00: hit the,
20:49
SPEAKER_00: the,
20:49
SPEAKER_00: the,
20:50
SPEAKER_00: um,
20:51
SPEAKER_00: the fling boom and it broke her window and she got sucked out.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Everybody else is OK. And I think about like that.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: That's a crazy experience, right?
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Like you were handpicked by God, you know, in that moment.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: So it's a crazy thing.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: We've got some guests joining us.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Just kind of kind of catch you up.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: Natalie lost her mom this last week.
21:14
And so we're talking a little bit about death and we're talking
21:18
a lot about joy and
21:19
SPEAKER_00: we're talking about how both can be true.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: The sadness, the upset,
21:24
the loss and the joy can all be true in the same moment in the
21:30
same moment in the
21:31
same body in the same soul yeah you know like we can I think
21:37
and I honestly believe
21:39
that this is a skill that we really want to be able to as human
21:44
beings get more
21:45
comfortable with being able to do because you know there are a
21:50
lot of things
21:50
SPEAKER_01: happening in the world right now
21:52
SPEAKER_00: Well,
21:54
SPEAKER_00: I think when it's acute,
21:55
SPEAKER_00: when someone dies,
21:56
SPEAKER_00: when someone's diagnosed,
21:58
SPEAKER_00: when it becomes acute,
21:59
SPEAKER_00: then we start practicing the very skills we should be practicing before
22:05
it becomes an emergency like like there's and and that life
22:08
just by itself is worth
22:10
practicing for these skills of of learning to think the
22:13
empowered thought to choose
22:15
the empowered story to pivot towards joy to take an intentional
22:19
deep breath in and
22:20
just open yourself like practicing those things when it's not
22:24
in kind of a life or
22:25
death that situation yeah I agree so we we will have an
22:31
announcement coming out
22:32
SPEAKER_01: pretty soon
22:33
we're excited we're excited we are very excited because we are
22:38
um in the midst of
22:40
organizing an incredible retreat yes uh in in Pamul down in
22:47
Playa del Carmen
22:48
because what we've realized is that shit's not calming down
22:53
anytime soon so let's
22:56
SPEAKER_00: go get some real joy and
22:59
and you know so for us we find it's really important that I
23:04
think for a lot of us
23:05
and I know this was important for me is to be able to create a
23:09
space where we can
23:10
have a reset get our nervous systems back down to being
23:13
regulated and then having
23:15
the tools so that when we go back into that crazy crazy world
23:19
in our crazy crazy
23:20
lives we have the ability to handle it and manage it and
23:24
navigate it in a much more
23:26
SPEAKER_01: calm and easy way
23:28
SPEAKER_01: and that is our plan.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: So excited to talk a lot more about what is coming in October 2026.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: It really is about real joy and real connection.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: And we're doing it in a real space.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: We're not going to go to some all-inclusive that is just cookie cutter.
23:47
It is going to be an experience that's going to anchor you back
23:50
into yourself.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: So we're excited to share more information about that.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: And Nat,
23:56
well we love you I love you um you're in uh you're in the most
24:01
real space that
24:02
there is right now yeah um you know so yeah go be with your
24:07
family and love your
24:08
family and thank you for being with us on the joy jolt this
24:10
week I know you didn't
24:12
need to do this but I know that you love this work so I do this
24:15
is my reprieve this
24:17
SPEAKER_00: is this is my joy I love doing this and I love doing it with you honey
24:22
I love it too so we're going to go into a little bit of a
24:24
deeper conversation we've
24:25
got a couple things that we want to share with our paid
24:27
subscribers if you're not a
24:28
paid subscriber or if you're not listening to us on Substack
24:32
please visit us at
24:33
thejoyjolt.com you can subscribe you can share a jolt with a
24:38
friend you can become
24:39
a jolter we do these podcasts every week just to remind you
24:44
that your joy is
24:45
important you are important your joy is important and it's
24:49
worth fighting for
24:52
SPEAKER_00: All right.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll see you hopefully in a deeper conversation.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Until then, I'm Susan Patrick.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: And I'm Natalie Ledwell.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next week.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: Joy Jolt!