Latest / Spiritual Homegirl / 607 – You Don't Know Me Like That (Pt 2): Jemele Hill's Two-Sentence Lesson on Boundaries

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607 – You Don't Know Me Like That (Pt 2): Jemele Hill's Two-Sentence Lesson on Boundaries · Spiritual Homegirl

• 0:00
  Hey y', all, you were listening to another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast where you better self in spirit and make peace with the day through wisdom, education and practical, easy to follow tips.
• 0:10
  I am your host, Maria, your spiritual homegirl who's also a mental health professional and I love love, love, love and I hope you can hear the smile on my face because it's a big one.
• 0:20
  I love when I record an episode and I get confirmation that I needed to say what I needed to say.
• 0:27
  First things first, shout out to Jamel Hill because she is the reason why I'm back on the mic this time.
• 0:32
  So in episode 606 I literally just wrapped this up and I might just package this as a two parter.
• 0:39
  That's head to head on the same day, which is Homegirl Thursday, which is when I normally, historically from day one ten years ago do my episodes.
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  Sometimes I've done them off schedule, but it's always started on a Thursday.
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  But I may have to do a two for two, a part one.
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  And this is part two.
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  Jamel Hill is exactly the prime example I need to see after recording episode 606.
• 1:01
  And that's about not letting people who don't have the depth, the range, the longitude, the latitude or the lane or credentials or the validity to speak to you for you, above you, on you, whatever.
• 1:14
  Jamel Hill gives a great example and I'm going to tell it based on what I saw on threads.
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  Shout out to threads too.
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  So first things first.
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  Jamel Hill is a journalist, well respected.
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  We know her for decades of speaking her mind, whether it is on sports, politics or anything else that she just feels like talking about.
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  She also has a live show on YouTube called Politics Live.
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  Check it out.
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  And she likes to share her opinion like the rest of us on social media.
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  Threads being the the place I see her primarily.
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  So she's giving her opinion and someone responds back and says you sending random strays to make a point is why you want threads with me and not espn.
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  So the guy is basically saying you over here throwing, you know, strays at people, but your opinion is why you got fired from your job and that's why you giving your opinion with me and the rest of us
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  on threads.
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  Jamel Hill clears it so well and she did it in two sentences.
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  She says, only one of us is paid to give their opinion and it's me.
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  What you think I failed at wasn't even possible for you.
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  Oh, I' ma say it again.
• 2:23
  Jamel Hill said only one of us is paid to Give their opinion and it's me.
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  What you think I failed at wasn't even possible for you.
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  And that ties right into episode 606.
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  A lot of times people will try to speak over you and try to say you failed at something or you will fail at something, because there are things that they want to do that that's not possible for them
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  to ever do.
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  Even on a best day, on their most hopeful day, on their most confident day, they're still not going to be able to do what you do, let alone if you supposedly allegedly, whatever, fail at it.
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  Their opinion of you is only out of how they feel about what they think you've done, not to what you knowingly know that you're successful at or you've learned from.
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  And that is the prime example why we have to stop letting people speak over us or about us or in a way as if they think they know us better than us.
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  Because for a lot of people, they could never do what you do.
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  They could never do what you want to, what you've done or what you want to do.
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  Especially if you're on a, on a, a thing where like, you like to tell people things and get their opinions.
• 3:28
  If you talk to people that ain't did nothing in their life ever, those might not be the best people to talk to because they're not going to speak more than likely about, about you in terms of your lens
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  and how you approach your life.
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  They might project on you how they feel about theirs and what they think is limiting or impact, incapable or, or out of reach for them.
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  That is why you don't let people speak to you no kind of way.
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  Because when you belong to you, like I said before, and you know who you are and whose you are, everybody just can't be so confident speaking to you that way.
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  And if they are, you show them why they shouldn't be.
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  In the case of Jamal Hill, so that is the prime example of letting somebody know, hey, I don't receive this.
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  I don't, I don't accept this, or you don't have the ability to speak over me.
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  Or if you want to clear it, like she.
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  And you notice she didn't use not one cuss word.
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  She didn't do anything.
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  She didn't threaten this man.
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  All she said was, only one of us gets paid, and that's me.
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  So you think you can speak over me, but only one of us gets paid to actually do what I do.
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  You do it for free.
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  I do it and I get paid, and that's Me and what you think.
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  I feel that from the comfort of your own home is something that will never be possible for you or wasn't even possible for you.
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  You're sitting at home talking about my life and what you think I've accomplished or failed at when you're nowhere near the rooms or the positions that I've been in to even feel capable or qualified to do so.
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  And that is how you clear the room, folks.
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  That is how you.
• 5:00
  That is how you clear the room.
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  So I thought that was such a great example that was worth getting back on Mike to talk about.
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  Jamal Hill salutes and.
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  And that's a wonderful way to clock it.
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  And I know it sucks because threads can become a piece of media or can get used for media purposes, but that is also why we have to be careful with what we say and how we say it to
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  people, because you never know where it'll pop up, you never know how they respond, and you'll never know where it comes up.
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  So let's all think before we try to pass judgment on other people's lives, and let's accept the clearing if we get cleared, and let's maybe think about it a little bit differently.
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  Or, you know, for some people, they say, oh, I don't care.
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  Okay, cool.
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  But, you know, if you don't care, care, just continue to keep speaking over people and getting checked accordingly.
• 5:47
  I mean, it's up to you, but we just have to be mindful of how we speak to people and making sure that our feelings never about other people never get interpreted as facts, as well as not letting people's
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  feelings about us turn into facts.
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  So that was a wonderful example of what exactly I just said in episode 606.
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  And I will catch you on the next episode.
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  This has been a part two episode, the Spiritual Homegirl podcast.
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  And y' all know I can't do any podcast episode without thanking you all for listening.
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  So thank you for listening, Boo Friends.
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  And out of the tens and thousands of podcasts out there on podcast land since 2016, you've lent me your ears for the last 600 episodes whenever you felt like tapping in with your girl.
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  And I really appreciate that.
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  So take that example from Jamal Hill and go live your life.
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  Remember, nobody ever is qualified to down talk you or speak over you as if they know you better than you.
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  And even if they did know you very well, still doesn't justify it.
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  Do not let people speak negativity and drama and BS over you.
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  Do not let people throw your lessons or your transitions or your valleys back in your.
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  Yeah.
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  This has been another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl Podcast.
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  My name is Maria, your spiritual homegirl.
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  And remember, boo.
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  Friends, trust the journey.
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  Trust yourself.
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  And whatever you do, do it with love, okay?
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  Love, y'.
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  All.
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  Peace.