Latest / Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas / The Saint: Santa Claus is No Saint (EP1449)

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The Saint: Santa Claus is No Saint (EP1449) · Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas

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Welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio from Boise, Idaho. This
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is your host, Adam Graham. If you have a comment, send it
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to me Box thirteen at Great Detectives dot net, follow us on Twitter at
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Radio Detectives, and become one of our friends on Facebook, Facebook dot com
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slash Radio Detectives. Before we do get started, I do want to let
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you know this show is brought to you by the financial support of our listeners,
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and I particularly want to thank Craig so much for your support. We
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send long access to the premium side, as we do with all donations of
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seven dollars or more, and you can support the show at support dot Great
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Detectives dot net, and there's also a mailing address there for those of you
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would prefer to in donations by mail. All right, well, our Theories
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of Christmas Specials comes to a close with this episode of The Saint. So
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we scip ahead to December the twenty fourth of nineteen fifty and the episode Santa
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Claus Is No Saint. The Adventures of the Saint starring Vincent Price. The
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Saint based on characters created by Leslie Charteris and known to millions from books,
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magazines, and motion pictures. The Robin Hoode of Modern Crime now comes transcribed
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to radio, starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor Vincent Price as the Saint.
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Come in him, Mister Temple, lois, where are you? I'm in
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my room. I'll be ready in a minute. Hey, wait till you
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see my cap. I gave it a beat for Christmas. Well, congratulations.
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Look, I don't want to rush you, but if you don't hurry,
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Christmas Eve is going to be already Christmas morning. And what'll all them
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touch? Think? Ah? They had to be singing and unfortunate. However,
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all I have to do now is get my whiskies. Huh there?
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How do I look, mister Templar? If I didn't know you was mister
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Templar, I wouldn't know who you are. M Louis, Don't I look
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like Santa Claus? This may come as a surprise to mister Temple. Santa
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Claus is fat? Oh you are not fat? Oh well, hand me
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that cushion from the couch. Huh okay, here, yeah, thank you?
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Now then how's that? I'll say? Whole? Ho ho? What
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for? Santa Clauss always say ho ho? Oh I see, well anyway,
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you look like Santa Claus. Hey, mister Temple, whose idea was
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this? Missus Gwinterbottoms, Oh, the name who annoys tots on Christmas Eve?
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Missus Winnebottom is a very well known philanthropist, and every Christmas Eve she
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collects hundreds of small children and feeds them. Yeah, yeah, who feeds
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them the rest of the year. Don't be bitter, Louis. At least
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I ought to give the little tatsa a laugh. Yeah, yeah, And
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I suppose there is something to be said for Missus Winterbottom. I don't say
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it now, don't worry. There's something to be said for Santa Claus too.
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He does go around fillings docking. I know a blonde shouldn't say that
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either. No, someone at the door, No, would you mind?
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It's probably one of them tots. Correction, it's a top. Twenty years
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later, I'm already back up. Thanks now, reach gents, you know
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that gun in her hand looks loaded. Now that you may reach the chandelier.
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Why not no chandelier? Oh a wise guy? Huh. If you're
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going to shoot me, I insist on knowing your name. Just call me
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Sally, Sally and your last name. Never mind, that's how would you
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like to get plugged in the in the bread basket? Where? Let's pass
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lightly over that. I wouldn't like to get plugged anywhere? And shut up?
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All right? Where is it right down the hall? Are you trying
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to be smart? Not especially so it's going to be like that? Huh?
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Likewise, now you listen to me fat spoiling, you shut up too,
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I didn't say anything. Well, shut up anyway, I'm shutting up.
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What was I saying? You just finished calling me fats boiling? That's
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right, that's wrong. I'm not fat spoiling. Huh, Well, it
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helps keep the conversation looks fast. Are you going to stop stalling and hand
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over the stuff? Or well I have to shoot since I am not fat
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spoiling, and since I have no stuff to hand over, I'm afraid you'll
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have to shoot. Mister temple. That could be fatal. You keep quiet?
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Punk? Who's a punk? You're a punk? It's the temple of
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a punk where Sally is just a little confused this evening or not. You
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shouldn't call me up. Shut up. You don't have to stop balling.
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I am not falling. You were just about to shoot me. Well,
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I know, but ten you blee? Oh I'm sorry. I can't stand
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the sight of blood. Why don't you strangle it, Louis, don't be
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unkind It seems to be the doorbell again. No way, It's very impolite
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to keep people waiting. But I must have been followed here, Sally.
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Look, stop illustrating a point with that gun. It might go off.
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I don't care, but then i'd bleed. Where can I go? I
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got hide? Well try the kitchen. Oh, come on in, it's
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open house tonight. Well, well, my old pal, fat I am
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not, although I'm beginning to waiver. Perhaps I am simon the split personality?
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Who are you Joe Hudson? You'll remember your old pal Hudson Hudson.
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Well, I must admit you look like a hornet, but your lines aren't
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his night. Look. If i'm your old pal, why don't I know
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you? Oh? That's easy. We never met personally? How else can
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you meet? Ignore that? But if we haven't met personally or otherwise,
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how can I be your pal? Oh? I was just being friendly.
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Besides, you got something for me. I have a great little kidd there,
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ain't you said any pell? Now I feel better. I'm a paler
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too, and look, I wish I deserved your delighted choice. I'll just
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let me have the stuff and then I'll get tough again. What stuff am
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I gonna have trouble with you? The door behind you is open? Why
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don't you use it in that way? Nobody will have any trouble. I'll
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use it. I'll use it after Why so that's like that? Huh?
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Never see one of these before. I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you.
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But the answer is yes, I have good. Good Then you know how
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it works. It shoots bullets. It guys. Guys who get bullet shot
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at them have a habit of dying. Really, and then perhaps you better
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not shoot that gun at me. I won't so give me so I ain't
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got well, that is I that is, you ain't got thankfully basic,
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I ain't a patient man. Hand the stuff over, or I don't have
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any stuff, or you get shot. I'd bled. Who cares? I
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do? I hope you might. However, this could be a stall,
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this could be trouble. So if you can't shoot him, why not.
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It's against the law. I write it in the papers. It's against the
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law. Yeah, yeah, I believe you. Oh so that's okay.
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I like doing things against the law. Oh well, you could go to
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jail. I already been there, or for shooting somebody that they'll hang you
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or something. If somebody told him, well I would, you would,
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Eh, well I would, So maybe i'd better shoot you first. Well
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I wouldn't want to deprive mister templar of the privilege. Well fats, it's
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your last chance. Oh not that phrase. Also, I still don't know.
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It looks like I'm gonna break a law. Hey, who did that?
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You did you do? I did not? Just here as a plan,
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but you won't get away with it. Good die, mister Hudson.
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Mister Temple, who made with the artillery. He must have been Sally.
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She's in the kitchen. She can stay there, she said. The lion's
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louis yah. But maybe by now she's found out she likes to shoot guns.
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That's hope. Not. It was nice of you to frighten, mister
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Hudson. Off I did you did? I didn't shoot anybody. No,
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So glad I've got her. Shes out cold, come up, put around
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the couch up. It's a little late, but somebody ought to mention she
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is not a bed looking dish. You've mentioned it. Looking for smelling sauce
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in a bag. No identification. He's a driver's license. Her name is
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Sally Walter's address forty nine, pardon drive, a social Security card. She's
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the secretary. That's what I need. Take it back, as she's coming
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to put the bag back. If we keep the gundaw, there's still some
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bullets in it. No, we don't want her to know we went through
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her bag. We're ashamed of ourselves. We're gonna pay her a visit.
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She ain't home, but she will be after she leaves here, and then
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perhaps we can find out what keeps the home fires burning. Sally was in
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kind of a hurry leaving us, so she was, mister templar. Don't
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look right, Santa Claus chasing a blunt. I'm not chasing her technicalities will
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get you no place. Hey, this must be it forty nine? What
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is she a secretary of the treasury. I suspect this is where she works.
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Lewis works over time, huh and probably sleeps in. Come on,
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I hope that nobody is speaking, because I think Santa Claus is off schedule.
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I they grabbed. I can manage her that or it's because yeah,
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ouch, now you look like an implosta with you ring Louis. Okay,
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you know this is the type house I got to feel in, Santa Claus.
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I have to use the saving center. Uh. Yes, I'm Simon
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Templar. You are I am. There's nothing I can do about it.
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Mmm, mister Temple. All butler's are like him. I doubted. I
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think he's been practicing aw awe, well, good night, then, I
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think not. Would you mind removing your shoe from the door? I would
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you might at least have shined Humphrey? Whoever is at this time of night?
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No one, madam? Oh, but such an interesting looking no one.
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Santa Claus. You've lost your whiskers. I haven't there right here in
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my pocket. Nice. Actually, my name is Simon Templar. This is
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Lewis Hi. Oh, I mean hi, he's going to the peasants type.
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Did you want to see me now that I've seen you? Yes,
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welcome in. Thank you, Madam Humphrey, go away. Yes, Madam
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Humphrey is such a problem sometimes, shall we nice? M Yeah, fire
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in the fireplace. Books on the booksells port in at the canton, Yes,
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would you like some? No? Thank you. I just wanted to
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be sure the accessories were all correct. Someday maybe I'll find some other wine
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besides port and at the canto. I dream, Simon? Are you the
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one who found them? It's beginning again. Found what my jewels? Of
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course, have they been lost? Simon? They were stolen? You know
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that, don't you should? I I've heard of the Saint Simon. I
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didn't know it was also a Santa Claus. Oh, it's a fleeting impulse.
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When were your jewels stolen? This afternoon? You see, claud my
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husband, that is, bought me them for Christmas. Y Santa Claude lewis
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sorry. We decided to have the party this afternoon. We thought it'd be
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nice to have a quiet eve, so we did. The jewels were in
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quite a large box, there were quite a lot of them, and Claude
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had a Santa Claus. But before the party was over, Santa Claus it
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disappeared, so at the jewels. But there must have been some precautions.
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Oh, there were several detectives. But the Santa Claus that he was going
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out to get some are while the Pard he was on He never came back,
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but he didn't have jewels on him. The box was locked and it
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was too large for the detectives not to have noticed. I see the name
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of the man hired to play Santa Claus was, of course Fat Spoiler.
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And who may you be, claud This is Simon Temple and Louis. I
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know neither of them. Snoops, obviously, get rid of them. Claude
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likes to behave as though he were an emperor on occasion. The box wasn't
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found anywhere in the house. The jewel box. No, the jewels were
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insuring naturally, there's none of your affair. I to speak severely to Andhrey
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should never have let you win. I let them in, darling. So
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now he's going to speak severely to her. We'll go quietly, except mister
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Worth, what is Fat's boiling's address? I have no idea. Good night,
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good night, Simon, and I'm sorry, so am, I I'll
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show you out. Thank you. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa pronounced Carla word.
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Yeah, what do we do now, Santa Claus? Yeah, we
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get into your nice clean cab and hey, wait a minute, is doing
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now we're going to find out what became of Sally Simon. Well, good
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evening, Salim. I overheard Fat's address is seventeen Beale Street. I've got
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to get right back to the house before anybody notices. Goodbye, an awful
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short visitor, but long enough. Now we're going to visit mister Boyle.
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I think so. I hope he ain't so handy with a gun as the
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rest of his characters. Maybe he may not be. Now I'm all cheered
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up, but there's one thing I'm sure he isn't. What's that fang?
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Quite a change from the whites dump. Now this it is a dumph and
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mister Boyling would seem to be shy. Mister Template, you said something about
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the one thing he wouldn't be was fat? Why because he was called Fats?
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Not exactly, No, he I'm worried. Hey, the door was
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open. Yes, maybe that means our boyd has flown. Maybe come,
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man, that's going okay. I ain't usually so poetical, but the lights
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on, Yes, and the room looks funny. Looks like a hurricane came
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to stay for dinner. Mmm, and remained for six months. Somebody was
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looking for a jewel box, and someone obviously didn't find it. The extent
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of the search indicates that nothing was left untouched. It's a funny smell in
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this room. You know, a couple of funny smells. Yeah, one's
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perfume and the other gunpowder. Huh, gun patter. That's why I ain't
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been looking behind any pieces of furniture. It really wasn't very far to look,
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really. Huh. He's behind the day bed, Fats, Fats,
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Louis, he bein' doing so good. He's dead, and Louis, yeah
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he wasn't. Fad mister Templar, Yes, Louis. We're being followed since
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since we got a boiling's place. It's interesting. Louise, stop the cab.
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It'll make it easier for whatever's following us. Exactly what I want,
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even on Christmas Eve if this shouldn't happen. Now what Now we get out,
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don't look behind you, start walking. Here is a nice, lonely
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stream. Everybody else's home hanging up stockings. I wouldn't mind hanging up stockings
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myself. I who do you think it is? I think it's our friend
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Hudson. Oh, I just lost five pounds. You mean the guy that
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was chasing Sally, who was all ready to shoot us until she made the
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explosion. Need reminded, Oh, you think he wants some money or all
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life? Possibly? What kind of an answer is that? He quickly template
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she Allie is full of garbage cans? Also dark. You don't have to
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see garbage cans to know they're around her. Hudson. Yes, good evening.
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I don't turn around. I've got a gun on you. I don't
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like it. He take mister Hudson's gun away from him. Okay, good,
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aim it at him and I'll wait them. But that you can't shoot
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me with my own gun? Why not? I ain't factful? What other
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gun? Could I shoot you with your own? Hey? You mean you
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ain't got Oh, mister you are a liar? And on Christmas Eve too?
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Hudson? Who hired you to follow Sally and me? It was my
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own idea, Louis, Mister Hudson isn't being friendly. He ain't Uh,
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he ain't there. Hey, don't lose your head spelling. We've lost patience
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with him, Lewis. We have shooting Louie. He's beginning to bore me,
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he's beginning to I should shoot him. Yeah, fatal fatal. Okay,
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I don't know what my wife and six kids are going to say,
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got a wife and six kids. I'll wait a minute, please, Louis,
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we're being cruel, prolonging mister Hudson's agg and he put him out of
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it. And I'll wait a minute. Who hired you, missus Worth,
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missus carl Worth. You're quite sure? Strike me that that is. Don't
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strike me that. Look. Look, if she didn't what I shay,
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why would I say she did? You have a point there, but why
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should she have wanted you to follow Sally? She had an idea. Her
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husband and Sally were kind of, you know, kind of decorating their own
18:45
little tree together, and I couldn't put it more tax for her. I
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see. So if you've got enough divorce evidence, missus Worth could hold up
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her husband for plenty of alimo. No, no, oh, missus Worth
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is the baby with a doll. Mister Worth is a very well educated bomb.
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Indeed, it's interesting, Louis, let me have the gun. Yeah
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wait, I thought I told you the troll. I'm sure you did,
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mister Templar. That's gratitude, it's necessity. Well, we need him out
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of the way for a little while. He's out of the way. Now,
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yeah, Now we're going to find out who else knew that fat spoiling
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was thin. You know, if we visited often enough, I might even
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get accustomed to this joint. You might also start confusing yourself with grant.
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Good evening, Humphrey. I'm sorry the family retired for the night till it
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is late. I know I wish to retire myself. Why Humphrey, you
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don't look sixty five? Good night, sir. I'm going to ask us
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in no why Humphrey, I thought you and I were going to sing Christmas
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ca House together. That caught me set the door away. Okay, I
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shall complete, all right, but not now. It's the templar a word.
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I'd gone out hitting people over the head, and I couldn't have him
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warn any when we're here, and why we're going to buggle the joint in
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a way, and a kind of description would be searched the place loving Oh
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for what badly enough? Something that can't be seen or touched. Sounds like
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a ghost, yes, and in a way it is the ghost of a
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murderer. It's the night before Christmas, all right. Put a creature restoring
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a couple of creatures. Plus we've covered all the rooms on the other landing
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before. The bedrooms should be here, and therefore this should be someone's bedroom.
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Let's go in. We're sleeping now. If I can open the door
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softly and have and look in right through the window, yes, the dressing
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room the door beyond would be the bedroom. Proper. Proper is not a
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way where in any position to throw around, and I'm gonna have to go
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in to the dressing room. Come on, Louis, okay, wait a
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minute, Louis inhale, Mister dam pladd don't usually take breathing exercises in the
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middle of the Louis right, I'm in Heiland well Yefield m dominion a good
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line to love it. But no, then how'd we go? He didn't
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care about Bayfield? You didn't tell me anything. What do you want?
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Pershom should tell you who killed fants? Boiling another bedroom? We go in
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naturally for a bachelor. I think the word you should have used I'm beginning
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to get worried about is supposing somebody screamed yourself together. Louis okay, after
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all, like the poet says, strong heart never won fair mate, and
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you mean faint heart. All right, So for dinner, I'll eat dog
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food now, okay, another dressing room. Well, hey, mister Templar,
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Yes, the same perfume we noticed. Oh don't be frightened, Simon.
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What are you doing in here? Louis and I have been testing perfume
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in the middle of the night. You're awakening. I'm sorry, I'm even
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sorry about something else. What's that? The perfume you use is very distinctive,
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Sally. I supposed to say, thanks, no, because the last
22:56
place Louis and I noticed it was in facts Boylen's room, minutes after he'd
23:02
been killed. Oh not good, sound if you're making all this upward?
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No, no, this bottle of perfume will be evidence. But I didn't
23:08
kill Boylan. You must be joking about that. I don't think a jury
23:11
would find it funny. You knew about boil and stealing the jewels, you
23:15
must have helped it. I didn't. But then you found yourself being trailed
23:18
by Hudson, who'd been hired by missus Worth. You were afraid he'd discovered
23:23
the connection between you and Boilin. That's why you came to my apartment.
23:27
No, yes, you hoped I'd throw Hudson off, perhaps frighten him.
23:32
In the meanwhile, you could get to boil and get the jewels from it.
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That isn't true. When you got the boiling's place, you found him
23:37
already dead and the jewels gone. I didn't. It would be much better
23:41
for you that way. What do you mean you wouldn't be liable to a
23:45
first degree murder charge. But there were detectives here while a party was going
23:48
on. Boylan couldn't have stolen the jewels they saw him leave. He didn't
23:52
have it. He did have them. He was playing Sady Clause and he
23:56
was a thin man. Sady clause is, as Louis pointed out to me
24:00
earlier tonight, are fact. Therefore, Boylen entered this house wearing padding underneath
24:04
his costume. He left it with a large jewel box in place of the
24:08
padding. That's how he did it. Sally, you're smart. You found
24:15
Boylen. You knew his address. Therefore you'd hired him in the first place,
24:19
and therefore also a jury would believe you'd killed him unless you tell us
24:23
who did. All right, mister Temple, tell him to point the gun
24:32
someplace. Mister Worth, point that gun someplace else. I prefer this direction.
24:37
We're saying, mister Temple about the jewel The jewels were insured. Therefore
24:41
you, mister Worth, arranged to have them stolen. Indeed, indeed,
24:45
in that way you could retain the jewels the insurance money as well, and
24:51
not worry very much whether or not your wife divorced you. Clever Boylan is
24:56
dead. How true you had to see to that, didn't you. Otherwise
24:59
he I have blackmailed you for the rest of your life or for whatever money
25:03
you got out of the entire crooked deal. I can see two other deaths,
25:07
yours, your friend and Sally. You're going to kill her too,
25:11
That depends, I should think, um say, claud I never knew you
25:14
intended to kill anyone. Need to play the engine quite so strenuously. You
25:18
were in on most of it, but not murder. I'm a very good
25:22
The Templar's persionism is justifying. I shall have to include you. But however,
25:29
did you get onto a templar a perfume? To be precise, this
25:33
perfume question where you cut him in the eye. I hope this gets in
25:37
someplace more effective. Mister Temple is a trail of unconscious bodies you'll leave behind
25:45
you tonight. If late end to end, yes would look terrible. Simon,
25:59
Yes, kind, you've been very sweet, even without your whiskers.
26:03
You've been sort of a Santa Claus to me. May I it's pleasure.
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Well, I never knew Santa Claus. Good kiss like that. Santa Claus
26:15
is no saint. Yes, Oh, hello, Louis, mister Temple,
26:26
you better put on your wiskers. You've forgotten all about missus Winterbottom. Missus
26:32
Well, the hour has passed midnight, the tots have undoubtedly tattered off to
26:37
bed By now, Louis, you may tell missus Winterby no that the Saint
26:44
no Santa Claus. Now than listening to another transcribed adventure of the Saint,
27:03
the robin Hood of modern crime. Ah, here is our starve and sent
27:07
price. Ladies and gentlemen. All of us who live in the United States
27:11
are aware of the spiritual values of American life, our factories and machines and
27:18
luxuries. But there is another side to American life, a side made up
27:22
of spiritual values. Our country was founded upon faith in God. In the
27:30
Declaration of Independence, it states that men were endowed by their creator with certain
27:37
inalienable rights. Thus, religious faith is part of the very foundation of American
27:42
democracy, and one of our most precious national heritages is freedom of worship.
27:51
By exercising this freedom, you and your families can enjoy the spiritual pleasures that
27:56
come with church or synagogue attendance. Moreover, your religious leaders stand ready to
28:03
give you their help whether you need personal or family guidance. And if you
28:08
suffer the loneliness natural to a newcomer to this country, the churches of your
28:15
faith will welcome you. We all know that without spiritual values, the other
28:19
advantages of American life have little meaning. Without faith, the family and the
28:26
community become unstable. Without faith, the individual denies himself the peace and guidance
28:33
of religion. The doors of your churches and synagogues are open to you.
28:38
The freedom to worship as you please is yours. And so America's religious organizations
28:45
invite you to find yourself through faith and to come to church this week.
28:52
And may I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and for the world peace in
28:59
all all the years to come. This is Vincent Price inviting you to join
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us again next week at this same time, for another exciting adventure of the
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Saint good Night. This Adventure of the Saint was written by Lewis Vidis.
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Our cast included Mary Shipp as Sally and Betty lou Gerson as Carla. High
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Everbach was Hudson, Ted Osborne Claude. The butler Stanley Ferrar Louis is played
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by Larry Doctor. The Saint, based on characters created by Leslie Charteris,
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is a James L. Sethier production and is directed by Helen mack. Vincent
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Price is soon to be seen co starring in RKO's production of His Kind of
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Woman. All you Saint fans will be glad to know that the Saint comic
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books are on sale at all you Stands. You're announcer Don Stanley. Three
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Chimes mean Good Times on NBC For your Christmas Eve listening pleasure, there's another
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broadcast of NBC Sunday hour and a half extravaganza, The Big Show. There's
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a whole Christmas stocking full of stars including Tallula, Jimmy Durranty, Edwin,
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Charles Boyer, Robert Merrill, and many more. Tonight also means your weekly
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visit with the Harris family on the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show. Be sure
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to hear this special Christmas program later today on NBC Christmas Welcome Back a Dacent
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episode. And I love the character of Louis. I always tend to think
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that The Saint having a recurring Cabby sidekick god have been inspired by the adventures
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of Frank Race and Mark Donovan, but Louie's not quite in the Mark Donovan
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class. All right, Well on to some listener comments and feedback, and
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just have a comment from Michael. Still love Vincent on the one episode where
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he hit the brakes and put the bad guy through the windshield, and I
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think that references back to the peculiar payoff. And it is probably a bit
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of an oddity in detective fiction that the hero has been captured in cars and
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in a position where they really could do some damage, rarely do so.
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There may have been other instances, think in one of the Carter Brown Mysteries
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something like that happened, also an episode of the Abbots, and then that
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episode of The Saint. But most of the time, when they're ordered to
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drive somewhere or they're in the passenger seat, just here a few minutes later
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they arrived of course, it's a very scary situation, and there's the possibility
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that you could come out of the whole thing Dad, So I can understand
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a little bit hesitation to do it, but I still expect it to happen
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more, but at any rate that I'll do it for today. I hope
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you've enjoyed all these special Christmas episodes we've brought you over the last five days.
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They've certainly been fun to listen to. Tomorrow we return with Crime and
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Peter Chambers, and then next Monday join us back here for the Saint.
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In the meantime, send your comments to Box thirteen at Great Attactives dot net,
32:59
follow us on Twitter, Radio Detectives, and become one of our friends
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on Facebook, Facebook, dot com. Slash Radio Detectives from Boise, Idaho.
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This is your host, Adam Grahamson and Off