Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 69 | Discipline vs. System: How Founder Dads Can Rebuild Mental Fitness & Lead with Presence
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset episode 69 with me Sean Tucker. You don't need more discipline, you don't need more wheel power. What you need is actually a system that helps you recover. something I've been reflecting on the last probably two or three weeks. I was someone who had chronically low testosterone and free testosterone for probably the last 10 to maybe 15 years. This, if anyone is in the same sort of position, is actually quite debilitating because if your levels are chronically low, you'll probably find that your energy as a man is probably pretty low. Your ability to get up in the morning is pretty slow. You probably rely on stimulants like coffee and tea and maybe other things to get you operating at a normal level. And you're probably coming from a place that is. Pretty reactive, meaning where there is a stressful environment, be it a, maybe it's even jumping on a sales call, maybe it's having a uncomfortable conversation with your partner, maybe it's even something as simple as you see a street fight happening or someone challenging you and you just. roll over and wimp, right? So there are two responses when it comes to fights and dogs or wolves react quite differently. And so usually when a dog enters a fight, its testosterone lowers and the dog basically rolls over unless it's primed in such a way and trained in such a way. it's scared easily. Right? So when that scare happens, the testosterone actually lowers. You can look at the data and the research done on wolves and dogs, and it's quite interesting because a wolf, on the other hand, where there's some sort of fear or stress response in the body, it will actually respond with increased testosterone. it will go into this I'm ready to fight kind of mode. But not in the sense that it's just ready to kill something. Ready in the sense that it is now stimulated, it is now hyper aware, and it's ready to respond. So I've noticed in my life, probably in the last two years, I've really had to let go of lot of things that I was honestly truly afraid of and really insecure about. One of those fears was... forcing myself to be someone who I thought I had to be. And I've talked about this many times on this podcast before, but something as simple as, you know, putting myself through the grind, like going through 75 hard. this metal here. and doing it with a zero options mentality. I have the willpower to complete what I say I'm going to do. But the thing is that place it was coming from was a very deep place of insecurity. I saw Andy Friisella as a better man than me, a bigger, stronger, greater man than me. And I saw it as a way for me to become like him. This is why I went and did my bodybuilding competition as you can see behind me here. This is why I went and... probably actually fought as well last year. But this one here came from a very conscious decision. it was a response to me drawing a line in the sand. and saying to myself, telling myself that my standards are not gonna drop back to where I was here. And they're not gonna drop back to where I was here. Because what happens when you repress your feelings and you suppress your feelings for too long is it turns into depression. Your testosterone will wane, say it will drop, and you become less and less of a man. You'll probably lean into eating more comfort foods. You'll probably want to sleep more and basically just become more and more unconscious. You'll probably find that you're drinking more alcohol, maybe smoking more and doing all this kind of stuff that leads to not the best outcomes. So, what do do? If this is you and you're thinking well, it's alright and well to know where I am at but what do do about it now? Well the thing is you have to let go of a lot of your stuff. Those negative thought loops that are keeping you trapped, you're never going to let go of them fully but what you can do is you can start to create a new reality and that is Really, first of all, dreaming out one, how is it you wanna be? Not necessarily what do you wanna have, but how do you wanna be? Focus on, it's gonna sound so corny. Focus on being grateful and things that make you grateful and just focus on your progress. Something that I've had to learn in my own life is being able to celebrate the small little victories. Charlie Rocket, if you haven't heard of Charlie Rocket, go and search his Instagram handle at Charlie. Wow, guy had a brain tumor. He was really successful in the music industry, helped 2 Chainz become really popular and basically the more successful that he got, the bigger he got, the more weight he had gained. He ended up getting a brain tumor and from one moment he decided that he was going to go on a winning streak. And that winning streak has turned into this massive effect worldwide. And basically he's learned how to celebrate his wins. He's learned how to celebrate these little milestones, these little progress steps. And it's ironic because that's exactly what I've done. When you start measuring not your losses, but your gains and your progress. And if you're not measuring, you're not going to really see them. But it's really conditioning your mind that it's okay to fail. It's okay to fall down. But it's even more important to stand back up again and keep going and celebrate yourself because it's the feelings of joy that we get through making progress that lead to us becoming the best version of ourselves, the happiest version of ourselves, the best looking version of ourselves. All of these things align. It sounds easy, right? Well, the thing is it's not easy, but it is really simple. And so all I say is just measure your progress a little bit. You don't have to be super dialed in because too much of a good thing or too much of one thing can be toxic. So if you're someone who has really suffered and feel like you're becoming less and less of a man every single day because of the habits and the focus that you're giving your mind. Go back and listen to the start of this podcast. Listen to this episode and take some notes. Really hear what I'm saying. Because once you start actually understanding the power of this, you'll start leading a greater life. You'll start leading a happier life. And you'll start actually feeling good about the challenges you make yourself. You won't see that you just keep failing. So, my friend, I appreciate you for tuning in today and if you found this episode helpful or valuable in one way, shape or form, share it with just one person. That's all I ask. Appreciate you, thank you so much and I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode.