Latest / Sober Readings / Loved Back To Recovery
Transcript
- Scott Hayes: Welcome back to Sober Readings. My name is Scott. I am glad you are here with me today for today's readings. Let's get started with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections Loved Back to Recovery. Our whole treasured philosophy of self sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old fashioned willpower. It was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought, but except we did, and then we were free. That's from Best of the Grapevine Volume one page one hundred ninety eight. I can be free of my old enslaving self. After a while I recognize and believe in the good within myself. I see that I have been loved back to recovery by my higher power who envelops me. My higher power becomes that source of love and strength that is performing a continuing miracle in me. I am sober and I am grateful. Today's reading from twenty four hours a day, September eighteenth, AA Thought for the Day. Step two is came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step three is made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Step eleven is sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. The fundamental basis of AA is a belief in some power greater than ourselves. Let us not take this lightly. We cannot fully get the program without this venture of belief. So ask yourself today, have I made the venture of belief in a power greater than my own? The meditation for the day. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty. Dwell for a moment on each day in a secret place, the place of communion with God, apart from the world, and thence receive strength to face the world. Material things cannot intrude upon this secret place, they cannot ever find it, because it is outside the realm of material things. When you abide in this secret place, you are under the shadow of the Almighty. God is close to you in this quiet place of communion. Each day dwell for a while in this secret place. And today's prayer for the day. I pray that I may renew my strength in quietness. I pray that I may find rest in quiet communion with God. For the next reading today, let's go back to touchstones, which we haven't read from in a while. This is a book of daily meditations for september eighteenth. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. And that's a quote from Paul Tillich. We are men who know the consequences of alcoholism, codependency, and addiction. We have walked dark valleys. We have felt meaningless and empty in our lives. Each of us has a story. The harder we worked to overcome those feelings by our individual efforts, the worse the feelings got. This program suggested we try something radically new, something we couldn't think of on our own. Grace is the love and generosity of God, which comes through no effort of our own. Not until we felt defeated would we open ourselves to this gift of help from our higher power. Grace comes in many forms. It is in the hope we feel in the morning after a night of rest. And it's in the good feeling we get attending our meetings. Before this program, most of us were trying so hard to control our lives. We couldn't notice any gifts that came from outside our efforts. These twelve steps train us for becoming receptive to the healing grace of God. The grace of God surrounds me, even in difficult times. Returning to that message renews my strength. And for today's final reading, let's go to As Bill sees it. Today we're on page 17. Toward honesty. The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one permeates human affairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of self righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought. Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character building and good living. That's on pages 94 and 95 of the twelve and twelve. The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. And that's a line from an article in the Grapevine dated August of nineteen sixty one. Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. And that that is also from the 12 and 12 page 60. And that's it for today's readings. Before I close this book, as Bill sees it, let's go back to the second reading, which is actually just one line that said, The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. How does that relate to my sobriety? Well, in sobriety, that line reminds me that dishonesty usually begins internally within me. Before I can convincingly lie to someone else, I often have to tell myself a version of the story that makes my behavior acceptable. I'm fine. I've got this under control. I don't need a meeting today. Nobody needs to know what I'm thinking, I'm just bothering them. One drink won't hurt me. If I repeat those things long enough, they can begin to feel like truth. The deception of others comes later. The first person I fooled was myself. And that is why honesty in recovery has to be more than simply not lying. It means becoming willing to recognize the stories I tell myself, especially the ones that make me comfortable with drifting away from the things that keep me sober. Sometimes the most important question I can ask myself is am I being completely honest with myself right now? Because when I can see the truth about where I am, whether I'm struggling, isolating, resentful, afraid, or Or becoming complacent, I have a chance to do something about it. Self honesty keeps small deceptions from becoming dangerous ones. And that also reminds me of another line to thine own self be true. And that line asks me to look inward before I look outward. Am I being truthful about how I'm really doing? Am I recognizing the warning signs or explaining them away? Am I living according to what I know about my alcoholism or according to what I want to believe about it? So this line sums it up. Before I can be honest with anyone else, I have to stop lying to myself. To thine own self be true means having the courage to see myself as I really am, not simply as I would like myself to be. And so that's gonna do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. Thank you so much for listening. Hey, if you'd like to talk about To thine own self be true and how that fits into your sobriety and how you live that in your life, I'd love to have that conversation with you. Send me an email at soberreadingswithscot at gmail.com. And also I'm excited to announce that the new soberreadings.com website just came online yesterday. You can listen to all the episodes of sober readings on that website. There's information and a small form to fill out if you'd like to be a guest. You can purchase my book, you can drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket, and you can read about me, and there's also a picture of me on that website. and see why I started Sober Readings and what it's all about. So I would love for you to go check out soberreadings.com if you have not already. So again, thank you so much for listening today. As always, just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting. And keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone, and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.