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Dear Banya: Emotional Dumping Ground · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: It's Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. We're gonna throw some back tonight.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: What Thursday Thursday? Throw them back? Not you, not me?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Oh to go on.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: I was watching. Did you happen to catch any of
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: the content of Alex Earl and Jake Shane and Saucy
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Baby and Monico?
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, but I don't know specifically what you're talking about.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Because I mean, Monico for f one looks insane, like
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: the amount of wealth there is.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Staggering, staggering, sickening, staggering. Okay, it's crazy.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And Alex Earl and Jake Shane and Stassey who is
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Kylie Jenner's bff? I think still right. They were on
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: a yacht Alo yacht, and we're the fan. We're not
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: sure if it was a sponsored trip or if they
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: just got invited to stay on their boat. You know
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: it's alos like yacht or whatever. So anyways, every night
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: they're there, they're they're coming back in the daylight like they're.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Walking back in the sun's coming out ye, sun's coming.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Out and they'll be doing alex Is doing her get
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Ready with me, and she's like, yeah, we were just
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: gonna go to a couple of clubs last night and
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: just stay for a little bit and try to be
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: back on the boat by one or two. And then
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: next thing you know, we're walking back and the sun's
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: coming up, and I'm like, I have never in my
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: life had that type of staminar energy.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Oh really ever? Oh I have it in me really?
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. When I was like in college, I
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: would rage, like rage, and I worked for a morning
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: show in Tucson at the time. There'd be there would
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: be nights I didn't go to sleep. I go straight
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: into my work. Wow.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I never had.
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  Speaker 3: Even just as recent, there was like a summer trip
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: that we went on and I remember we were going
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: home as the sun was coming up.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Wow, this is like young, young, and.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Well now it's like very few and far between years
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: ago that I did that. But in college you did it.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's pretty amazing.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: You never had that stamina. No, but because a young buck.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: No, because I was like super Christian and didn't drink.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I didn't party or anything. So when I probably had
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: the stamina. Oh, I was in bed reading my Bible. Shoot,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: brought a Bible study. So while you were coming home,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I was praying for you. I was praying that you
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: made it home. Dang.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: And then I made it home. Indeed I did. I
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: had some sketchy times in my day.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I imagine. I imagine someone said, do you like cookies?
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: He said, yeah, yeah. Anyways, we're here.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: We're here, and we made it, and shall we get
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: going with some dear bonias.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I might have a little party in me, like soon.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: You know what I think is gonna happen. Well, I
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: think people they have kids and then once the kid
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: is like a certain age, they go into like I'm
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: ready to party and have some freedom again. So I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: think you're gonna have that in about a couple of years. Yeah.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: I think I'm having a couple of weeks. Yeah okay,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I'm just like feeling the vibes. Oh wow, okay, I
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: just want to let loose a little bit. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: like like oh my god, yeah.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: All right, she's gonna let loose.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Stay tuned, Lucy Goosey, what are you doing for the
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: fourth of July? It's your one year engagement anniversary. Yeah,
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: that's crazy.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: It is crazy. That's one year, like a month less
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: than a month.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Have we made any progress?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, but we said there wouldn't be progress
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: until after the movie's out.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I'll check back in two weeks time. Give
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: me till like July the one the one year is
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: really when it starts to clicking. Yeah, at least for me,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I was like, we've been engaged for a year. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: got a plan that way.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I don't feel any pressure, like I just always be perfect. Yeah,
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: like I wanted to be what we wanted to be.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I don't want to feel like pressure of like, I
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: just want to take our time and I want it
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: to the location be what we want. I want everything
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: to be. There's no I don't feel any stress or
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: time restraint on it.
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  Speaker 3: So what are you doing for the fourth of July?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know what are you doing?
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Eating't letting loose.
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  Speaker 3: Nobody invited us to any party.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: No people started doing that.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I think it's like a month away.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, do we have the party? I don't know.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It's an option.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: Anyways, all right, Mark, here we go anonymous says, several
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: years ago, my dad started calling me on his drive
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: home from work for contacts my parents' Divorcemhen I was nine,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: I'm now twenty eight. At first it was sweet, but
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: over time it's become an every single night thing. He
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: calls during his commute. We talked for thirty minutes, and
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: as soon as he gets home, he wraps up the call.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: I know this sounds ungrateful, but sometimes it feels like
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: I'm serving as his podcast for the drive home. Meanwhile,
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: I've spent my evening talking to him instead of being
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: fully present with my husband or doing things I need
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: or want to do. While back, I tried to set
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: a boundary. I told him, look, you can call every night,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: but I'm not always going to answer, and if I
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: don't answer, nothing's wrong. It's fine. I'm also not going
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: to even explain to you every time I missed a call. Well,
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: that boundary hasn't stuck. Last week, I was busy, I
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: didn't answer for three or four days, and stead of
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: waiting for me to call back, he called my husband
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: to make sure I was okay.
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: It made me feel guilty, like I had done something wrong.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: The complicating factor is he recently moved a couple of
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: states away, So I do understand why staying connected matters.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I want a relationship with him, I just don't want
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: to feel liable to get it to be available every evening.
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: My question is am I being unreasonable for wanting less
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: frequent phone calls? And if not, how would you suggest
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: I said this boundary in a way that protects their
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: relationship while also protecting my time and my marriage.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I'm the worst person to give advice because.
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: How often do you talk to your dad.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: On the phone? Well, it depends because he they're in
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Serbia right now.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: So yeah, right, a little bit.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Tough in terms of timing. We text more than we
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: talk on the phone, but he like texts updates all
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: the time. Yeah, so a couple times a week, okay, but.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: You talk like when he's when they're in town. Yeah.
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: Do you call each other a lot or not so much?
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Not so much? Okay?
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: All right, tills Yeah, same. Yeah. I call my parents
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: every Friday for like half an hour. That's fine.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd say I talk to them like at least
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: once a week.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: Sure, but I owe a lot of people that's that
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: even that is crazy. A weekly call is is crazy.
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: But then there's other people that do the daily.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: I think a weekly call is you know, it's a
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: nice little check in, but I think it's different for everybody.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: I would not be happy with a nightly thirty minute
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: call with my parents.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: So it is there's a thing it's so tough with
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: like your parents, because you want to like make them
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: feel good. And like I think what I noticed when
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: my parents when my especially when my dad retired and
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: he had more time on his hands, their whole thing
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: is like, we don't know, you're always busy in your schedule.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: We don't want to call you, we don't want to
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: bother you, so you call us when it's convenient for you,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: and then I just kind of like go about you know.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: But then you see like they're getting older and like
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: all those things, so you do want to like put
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: in more effort, you know what I mean. So it's
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: like I do see her dilemma because it is so
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: nice that she can talk to her dad every single
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: night and that she has that kind of built into
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: her routine. So I see the pro in this.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Well, having a dad that wants to call you.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's really so sweet and so special, but
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: then also feeling like you have to do that every
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: single day is like pretty daunting.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I would think, yeah, and it's like a it feels
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: like an obligation. So I would say I would just
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: say if he if you set the boundary and you
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: don't answer, I would just call and be like, hey Dad,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: like I love you. I'm not able to talk on
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: the phone, but we'll talk on Friday. You know.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: I think you should make it a day.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: Pick a day on his commute home because that's when
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: he likes to do it, and that have that be
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: your day to talk.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you're fine, she say that, sorry Dad,
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: the daily phone calls.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: I need to be with my husband. It's the evening.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: We need to spend time together. It's weird.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I know, It's just I didn't realize when she brought
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: in the husband she has like her own family and stuff.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, I think you I agree. I think
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: either try to cut it down a few days and
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: ease into one day a week if that feels too much,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: and then I would just say I would communicate to
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: him and maybe if he calls and you don't answer,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: just send a text like hey Dad, love you not
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: able to talk on the phone right now, but I'll
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: talk to you whenever your next scheduled one is huh.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: That way, he doesn't feel like he because he probably
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: got worried that you didn't answer, if that's what you
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: always do for three or four days. I get why
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: he got worried and was like, I got to call
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: and make sure she's okay. If you have anxiety and
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: you're trying to call someone and they don't answer, that's scary.
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: So he's just trying to make his commute better.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, which is I mean, I know, but I feel
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: like it was reversed if she was using her commute
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: to call him and he was at home doing whatever
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: he's doing. I think he also would be like, do
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: we have to do this every day? Like it's more
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: convenient for him because he's driving.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would just say, hey, I love you, I
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: love talking to you, but I can we limit? Can
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: we have pick a day where we talk on your
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: drive home? Yeah, and just know that if I don't answer,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I'm okay. Or you could just you know, send him
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: a text since you're easing him into this new routine.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: You know this. This inspired me to set a schedule with
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: my parents.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know there's people listening that are like,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: oh my god, you have a dad that wants to
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: talk to you every day and you're gonna stop. Like,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: there's there's two sides of this, and I know that
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: people are gonna have extreme versions. But I think you're
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: allowed to set the boundary. And I think he's allowed
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: to want to talk to his daughter every day, regardless
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: of the reason, which Mark thinks is just convenience for him.
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: That's what I'm thinking.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: They do hang up as soon as he pulls into
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: the directly. Maybe send him some good podcasts you can
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: listen to his Yeah, that's it's like sad, sad, cute
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: It makes me want to call my parents. Oh hm, No,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: it's like middle of the night for them.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Okay. We have one where someone is starting to resent
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: their friend, which sounds sad. We'll get to that when
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: we come back.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: We're back.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: We're back, and Megan is starting to resent our friend Mark.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: You know she really is.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: As a matter of fact, she says, my wife and
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: I have a mutual friend who has been having issues
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: with a guy she's dating, and for nearly a year.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: It's become the only thing we talk about. I've reached
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: a program emotionally exhausted by the situation. The conversations are repetitive.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Nothing ever seemed to change. My wife is very supportive
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: of this friend, spends hours talking to them about the
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: latest developments. Recently, I admitted to my wife. I said, look,
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: I'm starting to feel like our friend has become more
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: a priority than I am. I understand why the wife
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: wants to be there for her, especially since our friend
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: doesn't have many other.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: People willing to listen anymore.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: But I'm starting to feel resentful of the situation and
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: of our friend, and have noticed myself becoming different when
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: we're all together. How do I support my wife's friendship
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: while also protecting my own relationship and emotional well being.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Well, there should be a rule. You and your wife
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: should establish a rule, like when we're hanging out with
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: this if you want to hang out with her, that
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: y'all have your time together. If it's her friend, like
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: they can have their time where they rehash the same
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: situation over and over again. But I think maybe you communicate.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I think if it's your friend too, you communicate and
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: just say hey, I know that this is a big
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: part of your life. But I feel like, you know,
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: we talk about every time, or maybe you bring up
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: different topics to talk about, so that maybe she's bringing
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: it up because she's like, well, what else are we
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: going to talk about? I'll just bring up my situation again.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: So maybe you can bring up some new interesting topics
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: or play games when you're together, just do something that
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: maybe distracts her and isn't focused on whatever her situation is.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: And with your wife, I would say, hey, I feel
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: like this has become a part of our relationship and
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of tired of talking about it. There's been
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: times where Haley and I have things where I feel
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: like I'm repeating stuff and it's kind of like, oh
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: my gosh, I feel like this is all I've talked about,
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: and then we kind of laugh and then it's like, yeah,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: let's let's move on from it.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I do feel like certain friends can become like emotional
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: dumping grounds for certain things. Yes, like I know you
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: are for me, like I am for you. Yeah, like
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I dump a lot of things on it.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: You move on quickly. You'll like have fixations and things
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: you're going through, and then we move on Yeah, it's not.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Still a long I know, but still like you are
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: my emotional dumping ground, which is what this person is
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: to m M their wife. Yeah, I think you just
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: have to talk about it. I mean communication is like
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: the best part of a relationship right in friendship.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: But I think I think both of y'all as our
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: friends should say, hey, we totally support you, but it
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: seems things haven't moved in one direction or another for
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: a year, and I feel like we're just rehashing the
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: same things. And I don't feel like anyone's growing in
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: this situation. And it feels like all of our conversations
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: revolve around this one topic. And we love you, we
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: support you, but we gotta move on.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Either way, we gotta move on. Yeah, turn there.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: I think y'all, y'all need to be a just honest,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: open friend.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: And you need to be united.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah as a couple, Oh my gosh, you have to
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: have a.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: UF you do you do? You cannot be a you torn?
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta have a united front. You have to
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: be strong. You have to be good friends to your friends,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: say we love you, where you're here for you. But
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: you either got to cut it off or move forward.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: What you gotta cut it.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's just unfortunately gonna be uncomfortable conversations. But
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: remember the number one thing for you and your wife is.
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: A U f.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: U S no ut you know U T eyes.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, we are gonna play.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: We're gonna try something new today. This is big breaking
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: scrubbing in gameplay, which.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Has been going on another podcast for for months.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, now in society for years.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I'm playing this game since it's basically twenty questions. Yeah,
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: but we're gonna Mark has picked two celebrities that we
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: will both be wearing on our forehead. I can't see
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: what's on mine, Tony can't see what's on hers, and
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: we're playing is it yes or no questions?
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Only yes or no question?
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: We can call it like who am I? So you asked?
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: Like am I an actor? Am I a singer?
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Because you are the person the forehead on your the
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: name on your forehead is your name?
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: I see, I see it's like a name tag. Okay, Okay,
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: I'll try it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we've got some logiftics to figure out, but we'll
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: figure it out.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll figure it out.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: Okay, great, we'll try.
• 15:47
  Speaker 6: We can play along at home, please, Yeah.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: We're back. We're back. We're workshopping this. We're winging this
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: for the first time, so there might be some technical issues. However,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Mark has to vacate the premises because he has bigger
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: and better things to do. Have a meeting, and so
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: he has written down two celebrity names he's going to
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: give to Becca and to myself. We have reversed our
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: video cameras so we cannot see ourselves anymore, and we're
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: gonna put these post its on our forehead and we
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: have to ask each other yes or no questions. However,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Mark needs to let you know our listeners who the
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: celebrities are.
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: Right, that's going to learn thee to keep it fair.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: First of all is do this, Tanya, would you like
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: my left hand or my right hand?
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Tails never fail. I'm gonna go.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: Left, my left hand. Okay, there's yours.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Hey, Becca, don't let her see it. Put on the ground.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: He's a little cheater over there.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Now I can whisper this if you guys take your
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: earphone headphones out.
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: Maybe yeah, let's.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Take off and be able to hear you.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: No, we'll talk, so let's turn off our microphone way.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I think we should just leave. That's well, your chair
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: should say the same.
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: All right. Finally you come back, we'll make sure you're
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: in position again. Okay, all right, all right, they're.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: Leaving the room. They've opened the door. Tanya's out and
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: the door is closed. Okay, Tanya is Bruno, Mars, Becca
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: is Sandra Bullock. Got it, Tanya Bruno, Mars Becca, Sandra Bullock.
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: I'll go get them, okay, all right.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: I'll just be here for the start and then i'll
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: sneak out. All right, So I don't know who goes first,
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: that doesn't.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Let's Becca put yours on your forehead.
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: Now so you guys can see who each other is.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Is it upside down?
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: Yes, yours is now upside down? Beck? Yep, there you go, perfect.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, Danya, all right, yeah that's perfect right there? Okay, okay, alright,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: and make sure you both and your cameras. Yeah you
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: look great, okay, good, all right, Tanya. Why don't you start?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Am I a woman?
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: No?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm a man.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Am I a woman?
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm a woman. I'm I have to write this
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: down because I get really. Am I a man? Yes?
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Well I don't know. I could be non binary?
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Am I a singer.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: No, am I an actor?
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: No? Am I on a reality show?
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: No? Am I a singer?
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Yes? Am I an actor?
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Yes? Do I have a current hit song on the radio?
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Yes? Am I in a TV show?
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: No? Am I sexy?
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so? Am I in movies?
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Yes? Have I been to this person's concert before?
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I would say so.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Am I over thirty?
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Yes? Am I married?
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: No? No?
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: That sucks.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Do I have kids?
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Do you know?
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: Yes? Yes, I'm not sure.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Maybe do a little Google search? Okay to stand by.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Am I invited to Taylor Swift's wedding?
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know?
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, son, kids for your person? For you? Yes?
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Am I married?
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: So hold on, I don't.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know?
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Different questions. I'll ask a different question. I'll ask a
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: different question to get Am I married?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: You already asked that?
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm not married. Do I have kids? Sorry?
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: No?
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: No kids?
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: No? Am I married? Yes?
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: No?
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: No, you're not married?
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Do you know this person?
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: Do not?
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Clearly?
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Okay? Do I I have a song on on the
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: charts right now? And I'm not married with no kids?
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: So I'm single? Ah? No? Am I single?
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: I think?
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: So?
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know that you're linked with anybody? What do
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I get to guess or does that game?
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: If you guess wrong, then you're wrong, then you lose.
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: Is that right?
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: I didn't know that.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: Was I previously married?
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Yes? Do I do backflips on stage?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. You're not vincent moone, if that's
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: what you're trying to get. Do I dance?
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: No? Do I have a lot? Do I have a
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: lot of hits?
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: I like have like a big, big, big, big catalog.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Am I a rom com actor?
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: Yes? Have I dated anybody famous in the past.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I don't think so.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: Not to my knowledge.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Quick trying to look. Do I have blonde hair?
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: No? Am I a household name? Yes? Everybody knows me.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: I'm super famous. Okay?
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: How many questions do you get?
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Do I have brown hair?
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: Yes? Am I beefing with another artist?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. Am I tall?
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say no, You're not like known for being tall?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: I have a song currently on the radios.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: The third time you confirmed that.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: This is your only you don't get more than one question,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: even if it's a question you repeat it.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: I'm just telling myself. Thank you have I been around
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: for at least ten years?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yes? Am I in a movie? Am I in a
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: movie currently out right now? No?
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Am I bald? No? That was pitbull.
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Am I am I white?
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Yes? Am I white? No?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Have I been in a movie with Leslie Mann?
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say no.
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: I would say no, they've never started, never started a
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: movie together.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Oh I have an idea?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Have I acted?
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: I don't think so.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my god?
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Was I married to another celebrity?
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: H Have I ever been married?
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: No? I don't think so. No. Am I known for
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: being good looking?
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, i'd say yeah, I'd say. Do I have
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: duets with our other artists? Yeah? Uh huh? Is that
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: my current hit on the on the radio?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: That's you're gonna have to wait for your next Am
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I under fifty?
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Over fifty?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I've been thinking I was a man
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: this whole time.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: You're I said that, right?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: W Did you say I'm under fifty?
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: You're over fifty? Am I over fifty? No, I'm younger
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: than fifty.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Am I an a less actress?
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Okay? I might I have an idea? Am I an
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: a less actress?
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: I think I know who I am, okay, but I'm
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: not sure. So I'm not sure.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: Why don't you ask it in a way could confirm
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: it without saying I didn't know. This rule that you're
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: out of the game if you get yeah.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you can't just like keep guessing.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: Why not people? That's what I see? What's his name?
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: Do Bobby Bones? Well?
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Are we Bobby Bones?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: No?
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: No, we don't cheat over here. Have I been known
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: to make fun things on TikTok, like make make foods
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: and stuff on TikTok?
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't know. I can't answer that.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Have I been in a movie with Melissa McCarthy McCarthy.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, I don't have a public beef with anybody?
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: Are you?
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Is that your question? Yeah?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Like, are you sure?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I don't think so, not that I know of. Was
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I in a movie about pageants?
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, so we're getting somewhere not here? Well, here's your hail, Mary,
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: now's your chance. Don you make a count?
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: Do I have a little in my name?
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Am I send you bullock? Yeah? Ye, don't look yet, Tanya,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I could have gone there so much faster dinner. I've
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: forgotten that.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: I was a woman much faster, Tanya, you're on the
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: right track when you said do I do a lot
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: of duets with people?
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: And is that my current hit?
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: Which it's not, but that you're kind of on the
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: right track there, and then you kind of abandoned that line.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: Recently had a number one hit as a duet.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Ye.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: In fact, the number one song of twenty twenty five
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: was this person as a duet.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, you have a candy bar in your name, mister b.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: What else?
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: You're a short king.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: There you go, sorting Vegas residency very like.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Multiple you span multiple generations of fans, like you have
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: a wide fan base in the age range.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: And he had this song of twenty twenty.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: Five number one song of the year.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: I think Harry Styles was the number one song of
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: the year in twenty twenty five. Last year you had
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: the biggest song last year.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: He's an amazing dancer.
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: The question would have been, am I a dancer? That
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: ques amazing, amazing dancer.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Amazing. Yeah, it's not Chris Brown, No, okay, thank god, short.
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: King, short king, not white.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Which is a clue. And you could have explored that
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: a little bit like is he Filipino in Puerto Rican?
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: With yes, still nothing.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Does he sing just the way you are?
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I never in a million years I would have guessed
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Bruno Mars.
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: Why but why not?
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know. That's the crazy thing. He wasn't on
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: my radar when I tell you I went, I was
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: justin Bieber. I was the kid LaRoy I was. I
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: thought Jason Derulo. At one point, I thought the Weekend,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I thought Purple.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: All right, I gotta go great Pigs.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: Hey, thank you.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I think I realized that I'm bad at this game.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Did you guys enjoy that?
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: Or he's playing on kiss M right now, Just so
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: you know, Bruno Mars is playing as we speak.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: I was thinking, like he is definitely an iHeart darling.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he had this old Lady Gaga. Oh that
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: might be the first thing. You absolutely hated it or
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: you listened and you absolutely loved it. Please let us know.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's probably brutal for me, probably better
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: over video, which maybe Crystal can whip something up.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I'm also trying to sneak to like read the letters on.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: My Yeah, she's always trying to cheat to win. But
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: that's all for now. If you ever want to write
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: into Dear Bonia, You can message us on Instagram at
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: scrubbing in Pod on Instagram, or you can email us
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: at scrubbing in iHeartMedia dot com. And we love you
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: so much.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: We love you, have an amazing weekend. We'll be back Monday.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: We love you.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: By bye bye