Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 107 - Our 'resistance' to change

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 107 - Our 'resistance' to change · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today I want to talk to you about change.
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  Boy, what a big subject, right? Because it encompasses so many
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  different parts of our lives. Personal, professional, big,
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  little, small, wide. It doesn't matter what it is.
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  It all encompasses this massive subject of change in our life.
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  And as a human beings, we just do not typically like change.
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  We will resist it. Resist it.
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  Resist it because it takes us out of our certainty.
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  It puts us in a different state of mind.
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  It it, it just makes us feel like uneasy and we don't like
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  that, you know, our nature is to look for the certainty and
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  safety. It's just how human beings are
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  wired. And we're never going to get
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  around that. But our nature is also to look
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  at what's going on in our world around us.
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  And we are surrounded by change all the time.
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  I mean, Mother Nature is one of the best ones that is constantly
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  doing that to us. I mean, every single day, the
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  light. Wherever you live, every single
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  day, the light is shifting and it's your days are getting a
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  little longer, a little shorter, whatever it might be.
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  There's always tweaks, there's always things happening in every
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  blade of grass, every little tiny thing.
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  Nature is telling us change is inevitable, It's going to
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  happen. But our pain isn't necessarily
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  because of the change. Our pain is because of the
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  resistance to the change that's around us, because we don't like
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  it and we want things to say exactly the same.
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  You know, there was an episode of Sesame Street years ago where
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  Elmo wanted Christmas every day, and I always laugh at that one.
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  My daughter wanted to watch it over and over and over again.
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  And you know, after a while, Elmo got sick of Christmas
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  because it was every day. And he had to realize that, you
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  know, in order for things to be great, they have to shift.
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  They have to move on. You can't have the same things
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  all the time. Everything is always about
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  growing and expanding and shifting and changing.
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  And we have to recognize in ourselves that the resistance we
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  put up, the resistance in our perspective, the resistance in
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  our desire for things to shift and change around us, causes all
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  of our pain, not the actual acts of things.
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  Sure there are. It's inevitable that there will
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  be things that happened that cause us pain.
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  We will lose things in our lives.
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  People we love, animals we love. We will lose jobs that we love.
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  We will lose situations. And I, if we are completely and
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  totally honest, we will recognize that a huge,
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  tremendous chunk of that is that that feeling and emotion that we
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  have happening is because of our resistance to it.
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  So our our resistance to the change that is and because we
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  feel so overwhelmed with it. And I'm sorry for the dogs back
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  barking in the background. Can you hear all that?
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  That's my neighbour's dogs. And you know, we're just going
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  to roll with it because this is important and it's a change in
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  what we're doing right. And I'm not going to resist the
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  change as it's happening. I'm just going to go out.
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  We're going to roll with it and see how it goes.
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  So I'm looking there. It goes already away.
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  So I think the most important aspect of what I want you guys
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  to hear me say today is look at whatever is going on in your
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  life that is causing pain and suffering and ask yourself, how
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  can I change my perspective so that I can move myself out of
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  pain and suffering? Because pain and suffering is
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  inevitable, but it's not something that you need to stay
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  in. You can move through it, I
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  promise you. I know that because I've done it
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  so many times in my own personal life with losses of many things.
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  And it is not something that you have to stay in, but it does
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  require an acute level of awareness about where your pain
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  and suffering is coming from. And it requires you to be
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  cognitively aware that you can no longer resist what is being
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  put in front of you. If you keep resisting the loss,
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  if you keep resisting to to address it, if you keep
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  resisting to move through it, you will stay in pain and it
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  will move you eventually, one way or another.
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  So you might as well say, just like Elmo did you know what?
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  I got to I got to just move on. I can't keep waiting for
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  Christmas everyday because goodness knows it, this doesn't
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  feel good. It's like it's not every time it
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  shows up, it's not the same. It's it doesn't feel good.
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  And I think that when you're, when you're doing this exercise,
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  when you're really coming to terms with the fact that you're
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  looking at yourself and you're saying I am stuck in a place of
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  resisting the change that has been presented to me, you have
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  to stop and pause and ask yourself, well, who do I need to
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  be now? You can't just go to it with the
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  person that you've always been. You have to stop and ask
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  yourself, well, who do I need to be now to move through this?
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  Where do I need to shift myself? Where do I need to move my
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  emotions to? Where do I need to move my
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  perspectives to? Because if you can do that, I
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  promise you that's when the great things start to happen,
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  When you can shift it and you can start to look at, OK, what
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  are the gifts in this? You know, when I lost my dad, I
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  didn't think there was anything great about this at all.
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  I never thought there was 1 great thing about it.
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  I couldn't figure it out. He was my best friend.
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  He was meant everything in the world to me and there was still
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  to this day there was never. I can't.
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  I can't put my finger on certain aspects of losing him.
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  But I will say this when I stopped resisting that he was
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  gone, when I started to realize that I had to do things on my
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  own. Why still felt like he was with
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  me and I can talk to him and I have faith that I have
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  connection with him still. I had to come to terms with the
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  fact that I had to make decisions and I had to move in a
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  certain direction. And when I started doing that,
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  my life changed and I know if he had still been here.
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  Some of the decisions that I made for myself that put me
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  right here in this spot, doing this for you, I wouldn't have
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  made and I certainly wouldn't be living where I am.
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  I certainly wouldn't be in the state that I am.
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  I certainly wouldn't be doing the things that I was doing.
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  I would have taken a completely different path because I was on
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  a completely different path. And once he passed, then I
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  shifted. So I can sit back and, you know,
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  I can still feel the pain of the loss, but I don't have to have
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  the same interpretation of it. So maybe all of this stuff
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  that's out there, whatever's going on in your life, whatever
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  change is happening that you have to come to terms with and
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  move through and realize the resistance is not necessarily
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  helping you at this point. I'll tell you to just stop and
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  pause and say who do I need to be now moving forward and what
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  do I want to believe about this happening so that I can move
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  forward. And just asking yourself some
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  really better questions will help you.
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  So I hope that this is helpful for you today.
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  I hope that you understand a little bit more about change and
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  resistance to change and I will see you guys tomorrow.
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  Have a blessed day. Bye.