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An Unlikely Affair: The Sex Tape that Started It All · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hi, Lolah, Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. Hello,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: my loves. I am freaking out today. I'm a little
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: bit nervous. I feel like I'm tweaking. I feel like
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I've taken a hit of acid, and I'm a little
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: tired from the break. Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. Hello
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Amber Childers, Hello Lola kan. I like, don't really know
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: how to do our intro quite yet. We'll figure it out,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: we will, right, yes, yeah, because like the one like
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: give them Laala and untraditionally Laala, it's always like hello, gorgeous.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: But obviously this is that makes me laugh. Ohh, she's
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: talking to.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Me, Hi, I am, I am talking to all of
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: you obviously. How are you feeling this morning? We shared
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: a bed last night. I know, I kept really happy.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I kept waking up and I was like, listening to
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: you breathing. I was like, oh my god, that's Lala
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: breathing next to me. And I would rather have you
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: lying next to you breathing than a man.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: We talked about that before bed. We were laying in
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: bed watching twenty twenty. I was like, do you care
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: if I watch murder? It puts me to bed. She's like,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I love murder. I was like, it's so nice to
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: like not share a bed with a man. And you
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: talked about how you gave it like a test run
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: someonheen you were dating where you didn't share a bed.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I did that this past year. And I was like,
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: you know what, I want to try something. You have
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: two rooms, I really would like to try sleeping on
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: my own. And he was like great, he loved the idea.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: And then we tried, and it was he would come in,
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: we would like cuddle and we would do our thing,
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: and then he would.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Exit, do your thing.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Sex, Yeah, we would okay, we would bang, Okay, yeah,
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: we would bang each other and then he would he
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: would leave.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: And he was actually really nice.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Right because I've gotten to a place in my life
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: where it's like, I like my routine. When I go
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: to bed, I want to, you know, turn on my
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: red light. I don't want to like be bothered. I
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: want to watch what I want to watch. And in
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: the morning, I want to meditate and I want to
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: pray and I want.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: To like do whatever.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: And sometimes that starts at like four o'clock and if
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: I'm if someone's laying next to me, I don't be interrupted, no,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: and then I want them to be like where are
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: you on your knees praying? And like I want to
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: pray out loud, and sometimes like I want to say
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: things that I just want it's between me and my
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: higher power.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Right, did that's start when you got sober? Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I have to do the whole meditation, and I'm not
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: great at doing this consistently.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: But I had a moment.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: A few days ago where I was I was dealing
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: with something and I was like, I need to go
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: outside and like take a moment, and I also have
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: to say things out loud because I don't know if
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: you've seen this meme, but it's like me and I
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: try to pray and it's someone with ad D and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: you're like, start going, and then you think of a
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: million different things than you come back and you're like, sorry, God,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I'm back.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: If I say so, if I don't talk out loud.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like we're going to be out here for
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: an hour just trying to get to the frickin' point
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: of like what I need to hear myself say and
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: set my intentions. And I feel that like between those
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: moments that I want, or waking up in the middle
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: of the night and being like, oh, I gotta have
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: friends on the TV to just like put me back
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: to bed the man snoring, because most of them do.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I want to be covered in oil head to toe.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I look like a walk when you could
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: definitely fry on though I have to say the older one.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: No, the younger one, Oh, I use it. Older. I
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: was like, you're not going to sell me, Amber, You're
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: not going to sell me.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I would convert you.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: No, you would actually be really proud of me.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: I've actually been I've lowered my decade about ten years.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: That makes me thrilled for you.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a new me, babe. I'm coming out. Oh
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: my gosh, this is so great. Yeah. Yeah, you're too
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: hot to be banging Geezers. I'm not banging Geezers. They're
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: pretty much dead. We've talked about.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: This, so the last episode that we did, which was
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: untraditionally La La, where we were kind of talking about
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: what this podcast was going to be, like, I'm very
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: excited to be here. I'm so excited about an unlikely affair.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: And again, this is about my experience and Amber's experience
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: in life, what we've experienced with dating, motherhood.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Sex, bad sex, geezer sex.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: You can't hold someone back from sharing their experiences because
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: for me personally, I'll speak for myself. My job realizing
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: coming into this new woman that I am, it's my
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: duty to be able to look at people who are
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: watching this fucking podcast and say, oh my god, I
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: thought I was alone.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought. I've never that I.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: Was the only one that experienced or by the way,
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: that's why I fell in love with acting, right, It's
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: a shared experience, just like I'm going to treat this
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: podcast like I would any character that I would step
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: into on film or television. Yeah, you have to love
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: them for their good, the good, the bad, the ugly,
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: the messy, in all of it. And so why and
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I'm telling their stories, why wouldn't I tell mine?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Because my story is just as important.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Your story is the most important. Number it is the
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: most important. And if there's one thing that that I
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: want to teach my girls and that I want to remember,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: is there will come a time in life where your
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: voice is all you fucking have, So use it because
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: no one can take that from me. You're true and
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: don't you exactly, and don't you dare let anyone try
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: to silence you. What you have to say is important,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: and you will use your voice at all times for
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: whatever cause, whatever reason.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: It's just like the saying those who mind don't matter,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: and those who matter don't mind.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I love that saying. Why do I feel like I've
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: heard this in a movie?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Because it's probably been in a movie a thousand times.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Why do I feel like I've heard you say this
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: in a movie? This is a movie.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, Wait, so there's something that I want to talk
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: about in address because in the last episode of Untraditionally Lola, Yeah.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Speaking of our experiences.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's start from the beginning. Oh Jesus, shall we Yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I said I've seen all of you. I laughed, and
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I made a joke that I've seen all of you
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: the front of the back, inside, it outside, And Jesus,
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: I don't want to get into the details because the
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: details aren't important. What matters to me is that moment
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: that really shaped me in my life. Right, I knew
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: you guys were together, I knew the affair was happening.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I don't know for well.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I wish it would have given me a call. You
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: know what, it wouldn't have mattered.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have heard no, because remember when I hear anybody.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Remember when you and I first sat down at the
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: sushi place and I was like, I'm not a jealous
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: ex wife.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I think you asked me to lunch.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: We were trying to like make the relationships we want
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: to show at the Glenn Yes, and it was very sweet.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: You brought me a present. I'll never forget that. It
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: was so cute. And I said to you, I said,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I'm not mad, right like I'm I'm okay with this,
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Like I've moved on. Anyways, going back to the tape,
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: at that point, I had known I had been tracking
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: probably for like at least four or five months.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Where were the rumblings coming from for you? Because I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: remember when it came up on vander Pump. Katie Maloney
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: had been at a barbecue and there was a guy
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: there who was an actor, and his wife had said
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: to Katie, Oh.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: You're on that show with that La La girl.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: You know she is with Blank And that's when Katie
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I have confirmation. Do you know how
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: hard I tried to get my to get all of
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: my things wiped on IMDb.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like, take it off. You won't have anything left? Great? Yeah, yeah, great,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I'll start fresh. How about that Us Christ?
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, So I had known for a while.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I didn't say anything because at that point, this was
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: not the first rodeo for me. So every time you
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: get a little bit smarter, you get a little more like, Okay,
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: this is happening, I need to Like. It was all
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: mostly through Instagram at this point. Right from my experience
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: and from what I've read and learned through my own healing,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: is that you get really good with following addicts and
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: their patterns. Yeah, and it became like a calendar, like
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: it was a clockwork for me. And and by the way,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: it's unhealthy. That was like I was in such a
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: spiral because I was so desperate to save my marriage.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you were also a baby. It doesn't matter.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: It was like, I does matter, That does matter. You
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: were a child, amber you met him in your teens.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: You became a first time mom when you were what
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty one.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Twenty one, That is a baby. Yeah, yeah, you had a.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Moment though you don't you don't think I grew up
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Mormon no Mormon. That's like a huge that in itself
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: is like a foundation of Like you get married at
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: like you know twenty by the way you.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Go, and you marry a good Mormon missionary, like you're
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: both on the same page. You you did not have
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the mental capacity to endure what you had just signed
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: up for.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: I had no idea what I was signing up for.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I had no idea because that's how good.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: The mask was.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: And the fact that you can go out and still
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: believe in love and let men enter your life.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Shows you how fucked up by him.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: No, it actually no, it shows your resilience, and I
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: think you need to give yourself credit for that. You know,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I have stayed in a place for many years of
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: fear and being completely guarded, and you know, I see
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: one tiny little thing that I don't like, and I'm like, oh,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: this person's a horrible human. I can't It's like PTSD,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: and I have it in so many areas.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: It happens when I deal with therapists.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you are trying to rob me blind and
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: manipulate me.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: So no, I think that you should look at that
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: as your bounce back is fucking incredible.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Thank you, You're welcome. Yeah, I guess it is. It's
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: very much so.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just wanted to like roll into the next thing,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: but I wanted to pause and take that moment. So
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: in that moment that night with the tape, with the tape, yeah,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't know who was calling in the middle of
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: the night, and I looked at the tape and I'd
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: seen it, and my whole life kind of just stopped.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: And it wasn't about what I was seeing in front
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: of me.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: It was more of like I had completely realized that
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: I had abandoned myself forever, right, And it wasn't that
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I didn't know how to set boundaries, because I think
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: when we learned boundaries when we were like two, right,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: when someone pushes you down on the playground, you're like, no,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: that's not nice, or no, I don't want that to eat.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Like I think, as humans, we instinctly know what boundaries are.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: But when your safety and you're well and who you
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: are as a person is threatened, you forget those boundaries, right,
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: You put aside the boundaries.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Because for me, that dysfunction was going on for so
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: many years.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: That that felt safe, like leaving never felt safe. That
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: was like a threat to everything that I had established, right,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: and I'll never forget after that tape, after seeing what
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I saw, it was like I awoke in that moment
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: and I was like, if you don't leave, you're going
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: to die, because I really did.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I wanted to die.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I felt so trapped in that relationship that I didn't
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: And it's so hard for some people to explain. They're
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: just like, you, dumb bitch, just leave.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: But those people, it's like, oh, so you have the
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: luxury of never experiencing something like this.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Mm, thank you, I'm envious of you. Yeah.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: I mean I tell people I stayed because of my kids.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: I didn't want my girls to grow up from with
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: a broken home. I didn't know what that experience was like,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: and I didn't want that. And in that moment I realized,
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I gotta get out.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: This is it.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: It's either I have to save myself for my kids,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: right and myself, because if I'm not here and kids don't,
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: they don't breathe. They don't breathe the oxygen of the house.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: I think they truly breathe the oxygen of the mother.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: And I was half dead. I really felt like I
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: was half dead.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: I was I was taking pills to numb my feelings,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: to just to suppress all that shit that I was
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: feeling inside because I didn't know what to do with it,
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: right Like I had no outlet. My only outlet was
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: acting at that point. Right I couldn't like, Hey, call
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: up my sister and say hey, this is what happened
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: this week or this month or you.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Know, so thank you for what.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: For the one calling that night, because if you hadn't called,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I think God was doing for me what I couldn't
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: do for myself, and using you know, through you, because
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: I couldn't, I would have never left.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I think about that all the time. There were so
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: many moments amber that I would and I remember vividly
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: you saying like I don't want you needed me to
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: know that I saved you, and I didn't understand what
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: you meant until I experienced it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting how you get so caught up on
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: the betrayal for me anyways, of what happened and what
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: they're doing to betray the commitment or the marriage or
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: whatever relationship you're in, And then you look in the
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: mirror and you're like, oh, The only betrayal that is
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: going on is between me and myself. I've completely abandoned
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: myself to this person.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Well, you get comfortable every time someone is unhappy and
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: they don't want to leave, and no one understands why.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, because when that is your norm, you become
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: comfortable in it.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't see outside of it talking about leaving.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: It's like, but my comfort zone. I'm used to this.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I'm used to this feeling. It's my norm. Yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: For me, it was denial, like once you stop lying
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: to yourself. Yeah yeah, it like literally, by the way,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: abilitating seeing that tape, it wasn't like I was like
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: staring at this By the way, you look great in
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: the tape. Uh, by like like looking at this tape,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: it wasn't seeming like the acts that were going on.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: I saw my life flash before me, like I saw everything.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know what I mean. It's
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: You're like looking at something, but you're not looking at
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: something like your your brain is showing you a different
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: like reel of what's happening in your life. Yeah. Wait,
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: I think you should share what you shared with me
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: the other day when we were at lunch, do you remember, No,
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: tell me you don't remember. When we were sitting with
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: we talked. I know, we were sitting with the Emma
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: and you're like, hey, I need to share something with you.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: And I was like mid taco bite and you're like, oh.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about that. I love that you brought that up. Yeah,
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: and then you gave such a sorry, I have something
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: to tell you.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, I know, Okay. I used to wait you.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: But but this is a good segue because you talk
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: about not having sex, you were sex.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Wasn't having sex, No, And I never stepped out either,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Like once I knew that you guys were like divorced
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and all the things. Because when he was giving me
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: the back and forth about you guys being separated and
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I was being labeled a homewrecker, I was like, condoms on,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: pussy's out, buddy, I'm out in these streets having the
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: best time.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But once it was like we're divorced, you had
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: moved on, you found a new guy, and like you know,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: I had met your kids. I was very much like,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I did not sleep around at all. Yeah, but once
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I stopped really sleeping with him. You're pregnant, it is
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: very pregnant. Yeah, And I was so horny when I
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: was pregnant.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: It was like that it was bad. Oh my god.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I would like look at the corner of things and
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: be like, if I could just launch myself just right
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: on that we have. But I remember I would go
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: into the closet. It was like the only area where
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: there wasn't like I would find an area where it
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: like wasn't a direct camera on me, and I would
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: think of you and masturbate.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: In the closet. Uhh, I fucking love that. Do you
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: know how a story that brings me? Tell them what
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: you match? You were like, I'll match.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: You were sitting at lunching and you told me this,
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: and I was like, you were it was so cute.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: You're like, oh my god, I a cannotlive I'm going
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: to say that. So when you said, I was like,
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: what THEU? I couldn't believe that came out of your mouth.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, okay, well I also have
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: something to confess. When we were still like in and
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: out of the same house, we were nesting, and but
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: you were also in the house at the same time.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: What a fucking chaotic mess.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: I went to into the bathroom, to one of the
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: girl's bathroom to get something, and they were playing with
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: your hair extensions and I obviously knew they were yours,
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: and I was like, so, I was still so angry.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I was so mad. I was like, I'm gonna fucking
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: steal these.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: And I took your hair extensions and I was like.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: I still have them right now. No, I don't know myself.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: And I was like I could use them, but you
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: let you. You're like that's all you got. And I
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: was like, I was like, you took my hair extensions.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Wooh Amber, big fucking wood. Ah. That was hysterical. That
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: was great. Were they blonde? Do you remember?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: No, they probably met your color now yeah, yeah, if
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: you have my level bag burnette, I don't know.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Look, i'll send you a picture when I get back
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: to Montana. Okay.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: With all of that talk of like how we're bonded
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and God's plan, I will call it. This was always
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: God's plan. How do you feel going into this next year? Ugh?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Uh, that's how I feel. H so good.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: How does it differ from other years that you've gone into?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: You know, this year I never set an intention. I
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: didn't journal, I didn't like, I didn't make any New
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Year's resolutions.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, screw that. I'm done. Like,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna just go for it.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: If something comes up and I have an idea or
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: I want to change something about myself, I'm not going
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: to write about it.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna freaking do it. Like I'm just.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm not going to keep doing what I've done
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: the year's past, Okay, And I literally I told you
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: this morning when we were drinking coffee. I said, I
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: woke up on like December twenty eighth a completely different person.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: I just felt like my body from like a cellular
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: perspective has completely changed. I also deleted all my dating apps.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: That's a big deal for you. And you almost had
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: a moment of weakness last night. She's like, I almost
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: re downloaded hinge. I was like, it's because you're bored.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: As I'm grabbing chips after I've had a huge dinner,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, am I just eating because I'm bored? No?
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: And I'm glad you said that because you called me out.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, you're right, I'm bored.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: I'm done with the dating apps. I'm over them, and
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying that they're all that they're bad. I
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: think I have a lot of the reason why I
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: got all them because I have a lot of friends
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: who've met some great men and they ended up getting
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: married and they have great relationships. But for me, it
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: was just like Rya was a fucking joke.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah you said it was like Penn Palace, you know, right.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: Like a terrible hinge was decent, never been on tender,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: never been on I have been on bumble, but it
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, Montana, you like want to stay away
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: from bumble. I just want to meet someone organically, And honestly,
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: I'm like not, I'm not driven by by that. I
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: know that that my higher power will like bring my
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: person when the time is right. And for me, it's
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: like I'm just focusing on my kids, my work, my sobriety,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: and myself.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: That's it. I love this. For you, Yeah, what about you?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: How do you feel? I felt different going into this year.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: This is one of the greatest holidays that I've had
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: since I can remember. We ended up staying in la
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: for Christmas and leaving Christmas night to go to Palm
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Springs and we literally got back a couple days ago,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: and it was it was just very much much needed
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: and I felt very present. I went on a tangent
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: about elf on a shelf and then deleted my Instagram.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I wasn't I didn't delete it because.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: I was so unhinged about the Elf on the shelf,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: because I actually had a heyday doing that content. But
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, there's no reason for me to be
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: on Instagram right now. I want to take a break.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: And it was so nice because i'd pick up my phone,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, there's nothing on here that matters. Like
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: it just it felt different. I felt a level of
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: peace going into this year that I.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Don't feel normally.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Usually I go in to a new year and I
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: am just anxiety riddled and thinking about all of the
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: moves that I need to make. And this year, it
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm not worried about the moves that need
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: to be made, because we're just gonna make them.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: What's wrong, Yeah, that's why are you crying.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I'm just having this moment. I'm just having a moment
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: of like I can't believe we're here. I really can't.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: It's just like so much. I'm crying not because I'm sad.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I'm crying because I have so much gratitude.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Oh Amber, Yeah, I love you very much.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: You are a massive rock in my life.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: I keep a very tight circle and I don't trust easily,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: and I feel like we just have something very unspoken
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: that we're now speaking about.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: And I've had.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Many people tell me to get over it, and I
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: You're the one person where I can vent to you
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: about so many things and you can just understand that
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: certain things are just not that easy not to get over.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: And I think this is the year.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Where you and I are experiencing just a lot of
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: hope and healing.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a lot, a lot.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: And I had that moment last night too, when Ocean
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: was in the bed together with us and we were
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: watching our show.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I literally was like.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: This beautiful child who my children love unconditionally and I love,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: and like is has brought all of us together? Yeah,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: And like if that's not a gift from God, then
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: like wow, I know.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: These are the moments that for anyone who's experiencing where
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're in the middle of the ocean
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: and there's like no one in sight where you say,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: at some point this is going to make sense, because
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I remember being in the thick of it and just
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: being debilitated in like a robot and feeling like I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: have to make money and pay bills and I have
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: to fight for my child, and I was on autopilot
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: and like why how did this happen? And then you
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: get to a place sitting on this couch and you're like, oh,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: this was the plan the whole time.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: It all makes so much sense.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: Everything always works out the way it's supposed to. Yeah,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: And so I think that, like you were saying, for
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: anyone out there that's going through it or has been
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: through it, or you know has a friend or family
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: member going through it, it just it's like saying those
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: things is like.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I'm safe and everything is going to work out the
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: way it's supposed to.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it, And you just have to find like
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: your higher power, whatever that is is. It have to
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: be God, it could be anything that's greater than yourself,
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: and just know that, like there's light at the end
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: of the.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Tunnel always always. Yeah.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, what a beautiful way to end this episode. You guys,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for tuning in to our new podcast.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this first episode. We're gonna have
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: the heyday of our lives. This is an unlikely affair
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: with l Lakent and Amberg Childers. We're going to catch
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you next week.