Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 266 - Why do we revisit the most painful moments?

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 266 - Why do we revisit the most painful moments? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So question of the day, why do we revisit the most painful
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  moments? Because aren't they the most
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  painful moments that we would want?
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  You think we'd want to run away from them?
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  But I ironically, here's the crazy part.
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  There is nothing that stops us from doing that.
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  We could just not think about them again.
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  They're gone. But we don't.
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  We do think about them. We go back and forth and we
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  actually take this painful, the most painful parts of our lives
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  and we keep running them over and over and over.
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  You know, when I was younger, there was a horrible movie that
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  we went to see, Howard the Duck. Worst movie and just dumb.
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  And I remember. The person I saw the movie with
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  was like, no, we have to stay and see it.
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  And I was like, this is dumb. I will never get the brain cells
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  back that I'm wasting watching this movie.
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  But guess what? We had to stay and watch the
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  movie because that was the rule that he had in his head.
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  You have to stay and watch the movie.
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  Well, I I got to tell you, it was one of the worst movies that
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  I've ever seen in my life. And I never wanted to see it
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  again. Years later, my daughter sees
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  this movie somewhere and she says to me, mom, can we watch
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  Howard the Duck? And it was instantaneous.
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  No. And she's like, well, maybe it
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  won't be that bad. I'm like, no, no, it was that
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  bad. And I'm not watching it again.
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  And I'm really proud of myself for the fact that I believe
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  those things. Like, if something has been done
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  and it's terrible. And believe me, I've had some
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  really challenging things happen in my life.
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  And I don't choose to replay the story because.
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  It doesn't help me. And I had to learn that.
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  And I used to replay the story. I used to replay a lot of
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  stories and I learned that they bring me anxiety and pain and
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  they bring me sadness. What the heck am I doing?
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  Why am I telling the same story? That sucks.
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  And I realized it's a pattern. And the brain, our all of our
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  brains are wired to make sure that we don't.
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  Have things happen to us. They're trying to protect us,
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  but in the course of trying to protect us, they torture us
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  because they keep running the story to remind us not to do
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  stupid things. But the problem is it then it
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  becomes a habit, and then it's like any other habit.
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  If it's a habit, and it's a great habit, then run it.
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  And if it doesn't serve you, don't run it.
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  But it's a hard task, and the first step in the task is
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  recognizing that it doesn't serve you.
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  So when you keep realizing that you're revisiting the most
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  painful moments over and over again, you have to find a better
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  moment that's more positive to run with it, according to
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  Dottie, even hear her. Yes, I know, dot.
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  So it's it isn't. Imperative part of the process
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  to say what is the phrase I'm going to replace these painful
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  moments with? What's the reminder I'm going to
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  put out there to myself? What's the thought I'm going to
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  give myself rather than just sitting there and saying I don't
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  want to think that way, I don't want to think that way because
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  that's what most of us do. We sit there and say, I don't
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  want to think that way. Well, not wanting something
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  doesn't make it go away. Not wanting something doesn't
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  make it go away. Really focusing on the fact that
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  you're going to? Essentially, be so on point with
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  your thoughts that you're like, Nope, you're the guard at the
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  door. You're those gargoyles in those
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  big castles that look down and say no thanks, you're out.
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  You know the Queen's guard. You're not coming in, you're not
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  letting them in. Make the decision to defend your
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  bus. Defend your ground.
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  Do not let those negative thoughts and those negative
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  patterns and moments that happened and are gone by the way
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  they are gone. They're not coming back.
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  They're gone. Why revisit them?
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  It's it's the most useless waste of time when you really realize
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  it, and as long as you've gotten the lesson from it and what you
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  learned from it and you say, okay, I got that.
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  Then there's no reason to go back.
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  You can put the lesson to play without actually going back, but
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  it takes us being vigilant. So when I tell you I put my
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  fingers in my ears, I don't want to hear things I am 100% true
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  about that I surround myself with as much positivity as I
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  possibly can, and I refuse to revisit times that just don't
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  help me. So I'm willing to always give
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  myself the opportunity. Now, that doesn't mean that you
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  keep walking into the same types of situations and be stupid and
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  repeat it because you're supposed to have learned
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  something from it in the meantime.
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  If you take this on to heart, I promise you it will change the
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  way you think. But you and only you can make
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  the decision about what you're willing to defend and what
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  you're willing to tolerate. So ask yourself the question,
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  why do I revisit my painful moments?
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  Is it really helping me? And if the answer is no.
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  Then make a decision to tell yourself this is ending today.
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  Alright my friends, I hope you have a wonderful day.
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  I hope you figure out your new phrase that you're going to use
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  every time those come up and move forward with it because
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  it's the best feeling when you do.
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  Alright, I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Bye.