Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What does it mean when a narcissist starts ignoring you?
Transcript
- 0:00So what does it mean when a narcissist ignores you?
- 0:05When they just start ignoring you?
- 0:06When they like? When they damn near go no
- 0:08contact with you? What does it mean when they you
- 0:12hear nothing from them? Silence in the house or outside
- 0:16the house? That's what we're talking about
- 0:18today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:20Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
- 0:22welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:42Welcome back. Yes, when a narcissist
- 0:47narcissist ignores you, right? I'll do another video on what
- 0:52happens when you ignore a narcissist.
- 0:54I'll add it to my list, but this video is going to be exclusively
- 0:58talking about when a narcissist ignores you.
- 1:00When you when they start ignoring you.
- 1:04What does it mean? What does it mean when that
- 1:06pesky pesky, pesky, pesky, pesky pesky narcissist starts to
- 1:10ignore you? The first thing it means Y'all
- 1:15if y'all in a relationship together, whatever.
- 1:17The first thing that it could mean is that they are
- 1:20preoccupied with new supply. They're courting someone else.
- 1:25Their attention is going elsewhere.
- 1:28If y'all are together and they start ignoring you in within the
- 1:31same household, within the same parameters, within the same
- 1:35space, that typically means that they have someone else, that
- 1:38they're entertaining someone else in some way, shape or form.
- 1:42There's probably somebody else in the picture.
- 1:43Y'all that that just is now. Are they physically cheating
- 1:48with this other person? Maybe right?
- 1:51Chances are yes, but somehow they're not cheating physically.
- 1:54They're doing the emotional stuff right.
- 1:55They're just giggling. They were there giggling,
- 1:58looking into their phone at night and like, sorry, sorry for
- 2:04waking you up. You some of that.
- 2:09They're over there, Kiki kid and whatnot, man.
- 2:13They're just laughing and giggling, giggling and all of
- 2:17their other good stuff. But this is what happens.
- 2:19They are ignoring you because they're preoccupied with
- 2:22somebody else. Their energy is going elsewhere.
- 2:24This is what goes on. I know people don't like to hear
- 2:28that, but lately that sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, it does
- 2:32suck when you try to heal and grow and build something with
- 2:36someone and they just, they're constantly like ignoring you and
- 2:39shutting you down and just pretty much giving you the
- 2:41silent treatment. Then yes, they are typically
- 2:44trying to entertain someone else and it and it does suck.
- 2:46And you don't have to live together in the same household
- 2:48for them to ignore you. Like when the text messages or
- 2:51the responses are few and far between.
- 2:53Like they used to respond every single day within a within a few
- 2:56minutes or a couple hours. Now it's the next day.
- 2:58Oops. I'm sorry.
- 2:59I was busy yesterday. Oh, sorry.
- 3:02Did this happen? Oh, didn't see your message
- 3:04today just now. Sorry.
- 3:05I'm just sorry. I'm just getting back to this.
- 3:07Sorry. It is.
- 3:08Now. Could they have actually, no
- 3:10devil's advocate, could they have actually missed the
- 3:12message? Yeah, it's possible.
- 3:13Right. But the pattern, it's the
- 3:15pattern Once. OK, well, they do it once.
- 3:19Twice. OK.
- 3:21If if it ever happened the last 10 times, come on, y'all.
- 3:25Come on, man. Come on.
- 3:28That, that, that's a, that's a pattern right there.
- 3:30You got to see it. You got to see that that's a
- 3:33pattern. This is not a mistake.
- 3:35This is them ignoring you. They don't want to give you
- 3:38their energy anymore. They're getting new supply.
- 3:40They're getting supply from somebody else or to getting more
- 3:43supply or they're just getting validated from somebody else.
- 3:46Even if you, let me say this right here, even if you are
- 3:50still validating them, even if you are still talking to them
- 3:53and being there for them and doing the same things you've
- 3:56always been doing, even if you're going above and beyond,
- 3:59they can still try to ignore you, y'all.
- 4:00They can still get validation from someone else.
- 4:03And I said this before it, you know, people say the grass is
- 4:06greener and others people think the grass is greener on the
- 4:08other side of the fence. It's not that you're right.
- 4:09Yeah, it's not right there, y'all?
- 4:10It's not always that with narcissist.
- 4:12Sometimes it's just because it's different grass, right?
- 4:16It's different grass, so to speak.
- 4:19Like the grass is greener because it's different.
- 4:21It's different grass. It's grassy, the grassy Knoll,
- 4:24right? It's just different grass that
- 4:26your, your grass is green. You got lush Kentucky bluegrass,
- 4:30right? I don't know.
- 4:31Yeah, I'm grass ignorant. You got Kentucky bluegrass and
- 4:34they got North Carolina's clay. Whatever.
- 4:38You got better grass, but it's just different grass, right?
- 4:41That's what happens. This is the mentality of
- 4:43narcissistic people. They seek out new.
- 4:45It's the newness. It's the newness.
- 4:47Yeah. It has very little to do with
- 4:49you. Sometimes.
- 4:50It's just the newness. It's the new, new.
- 4:54It's the newness of it, Right. So that's something you have to
- 4:57consider and you have to think about as well, right there.
- 5:00But I also say this sometimes they're ignoring you when they
- 5:04started ignoring you, it could be because you're they're trying
- 5:08to avoid some type of accountability.
- 5:12I said it. So when I say avoid some type of
- 5:15accountability is that you've caught them up in something.
- 5:17They've been caught. They're busted everything.
- 5:20Who you calling busted, Buster? Woody?
- 5:24Toy Story. What was it?
- 5:26Toy Story Story? One that's first Toy Story.
- 5:29Who you calling busted, Buster? He's in Sid's backyard at the
- 5:32end. Yep.
- 5:34But yeah, they are you. They got busted something that's
- 5:39happened to them. Now they're ignoring you in this
- 5:41passive aggressive rage, right. It's passive aggressive
- 5:44narcissistic rages include this ignoring you does include this
- 5:49periods of the solid treatment. But sometimes they're ignoring
- 5:51you. They can they can interact with
- 5:53you a little bit, but they're ignoring all other interactions.
- 5:56They will interact with you when they need something from you,
- 5:58but anything else coming from your side is ignored.
- 6:01Anything else coming from your side is pushed to the side,
- 6:03pushed to the wayside and whatnot.
- 6:05So when they're ignoring you, typically they're trying to get
- 6:08away from something. Typically they're trying to
- 6:10punish you for saying something or doing something along those
- 6:13lines, right? Typically it's something alone
- 6:16going down that pathway or that road right there.
- 6:18Typically, Typically is the Greek God of maybe.
- 6:21If y'all don't understand, if y'all, if y'all remember that
- 6:24old running joke. Typically is the Greek God of
- 6:26maybe. Typically they're trying to get
- 6:28away from something, right? If they're ignoring you, they
- 6:34feel like you have wronged them in some way, shape or form as
- 6:37well. I'm talk about it in a second,
- 6:38but if you're trying to hold them accountable, they can't
- 6:41absolutely ignore you. They really can.
- 6:44They'll just, yeah, yeah. I say ignoring you is not the
- 6:48same as silent. The silent treatment ignoring
- 6:50you can include the silent treatment can include periods of
- 6:53the silent treatment. It can include periods of
- 6:55stonewalling. But if they, like I said, they
- 6:57will interact with you when they're ignoring you overall,
- 7:00like I said, they're they're just invalidating you and
- 7:02whatnot. And another reason why they
- 7:07ignore you what what I just spoke on is because they're
- 7:10angry as hell at you. They feel like you've wronged
- 7:17them in some way in some fashion.
- 7:20So now they feel like they have to punish you with their silence
- 7:23or ignoring you to make you to kind of push your head down, to
- 7:27make you feel like you're down here.
- 7:29This is what a lot of narcissistic people would do.
- 7:31They'll try to push your head down to make you feel like, to
- 7:34invalidate you, to make you feel like you're way down here while
- 7:37they're up here. You see in this the mentality,
- 7:40there's so many narcissistic people.
- 7:43They want to ignore you to make you feel like, like, say you
- 7:45being punished for something. They want to ignore you to, to,
- 7:49to, to put you in your place, to teach you a lesson, so to speak.
- 7:52They want to ignore you because it works.
- 7:54Let's keep it. Yeah, let's keep it high and
- 7:56ready. They ignore you sometimes simply
- 7:58because it works. It does.
- 8:01It's one of those things. It does work.
- 8:03It absolutely does work when they ignore you when they're
- 8:06trying to hold you, when they're doing things to you, that does
- 8:08happen. So you have to, like I said, you
- 8:11have to be prepared for this when it.
- 8:13So Lee, what the hell do we do when they're ignoring us?
- 8:16Now, if they're ignoring you just kind of like they're doing
- 8:19a solid treatment, whatever, and you have something important
- 8:22that you have to share to share with them, either tell them to
- 8:25their face, even though they're ignoring you, or text it to them
- 8:28so you can. So you can say, hey, look, I
- 8:30told you this. I'm just telling you this
- 8:31because it's important. Now you can do what you can do
- 8:35with the information as you will, what you will.
- 8:38And I'm just make sure I told you, hey, the performance, our
- 8:43kids performance is today at 3:00.
- 8:45They would love for you to be there.
- 8:47I'm just letting you know. Takes it home as well.
- 8:50Get it out. Like I said, get it out of your
- 8:52system to make sure you have visual proof or whatever.
- 8:55Because when they get there. Yeah, can they?
- 8:56Can they still get mad later on? Yeah, they can still get mad
- 8:59later on. Why don't you just, Well, see,
- 9:01why don't you, why don't you just tell me?
- 9:04I did tell you. Well, why don't you text me?
- 9:06I did text you. Well, why don't you just come
- 9:08pull me? You know, you got to drag me
- 9:09sometime. You got to drag me with you.
- 9:11So I have to drag your big stinking ass to the performance
- 9:14when I just clearly told you about it and you not talking to
- 9:16me. Now be careful saying that right
- 9:19there y'all, because they will get angry right big stinking
- 9:21ass. I stink so I stink now I got
- 9:25stinking ass. But they yeah, ignore you is a
- 9:33power trip for some of these for some narcissistic people.
- 9:36If you keep if we keeping it real ignore you can't just be
- 9:39them on a power trip. Can't just be them messing with
- 9:41you and this them deciding that today they're going to mess with
- 9:45you like today like they're just low energy.
- 9:47They're just out of it. So they're just ignore you in a
- 9:50passive aggressive way to just cause chaos in the house.
- 9:53They're bored. They can ignore you because
- 9:54they're bored. Y'all when you get a bored, A
- 9:56bored narcissist is a dangerous narcissist.
- 9:59A bored narcissist is a is a self-destructive, manipulative,
- 10:03toxic bastard narcissist. That's what they will do.
- 10:06They'll destroy everything around them just because they're
- 10:08simply bored. They'll destroy the
- 10:09communication in their relationship just because
- 10:11they're simply bored. They'll start ignoring you just
- 10:13because they're simply bored. They'll stop responding to you
- 10:16and texting you and calling you and just just giving you grunts
- 10:19as responses just because they're bored.
- 10:23Some of them, some narcissists, y'all live in chaos.
- 10:26They like the chaotic lifestyle, they like the chaotic.
- 10:29They like everything about the chaotic parameters and the chaos
- 10:32in their life and whatnot. So they will bring chaos to your
- 10:35life as well. If they enjoy the chaos in their
- 10:38own lives, they're absolutely going to enjoy it in yours
- 10:40bringing it to you. If they enjoy the chaotic
- 10:43lifestyle, the chaotic, the the chaos all around, they're going
- 10:47to bring the chaos to your life just because they're bored,
- 10:50because they have nothing else to do, because there's nothing
- 10:52else that nobody else to mess with.
- 10:54Like, and you got and you drove, you drew the card of having to
- 10:57deal with this toxic, narcissistic person.
- 11:00You drew the you, like I said, you drew, you drew the deck.
- 11:02You you drew from the wrong deck because this is your partner or
- 11:06this is your parent, whoever this part, whatever role that
- 11:08they play in your life, it sucks, but this is a tonight is
- 11:11the cars you got dealt right, The cars you got dealt.
- 11:14So now you want to throw your hand back.
- 11:16So now you get you get dealt a bad hand in spades or poker.
- 11:19You want to throw that. You want to throw that hand back
- 11:21in right, 'cause sometimes these poker hands, you can't do that
- 11:24at the widow, right? You got a bunch of mismatched
- 11:27cars. You can't do that at the widow.
- 11:29So in the conclusion, y'all, if they're ignoring you, let's say
- 11:33get it out. Or if you have something
- 11:34important to say to them, get it out of your system, text it to
- 11:36them, Leave a note in the refrigerator, leave a note in a
- 11:39car. What have you got to do?
- 11:40Call them, leave a voicemail, whatever you have to do.
- 11:43If it's important, make sure you share it with them, because
- 11:45otherwise they're going to get angry as hell and just blame you
- 11:47for not sharing it with them. Regardless of whether or not
- 11:49they're ignoring you, they're going to blame you for not
- 11:52sharing it with them and what not.
- 11:53Y'all the only way, y'all. Thanks for making the end of my
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- 12:16Peace. What up y'all?
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- 12:38Peace.