Latest / The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy / 20| His Family Refused to Attend His Wedding. Here's What He Learned About Self-Worth

Transcript

20| His Family Refused to Attend His Wedding. Here's What He Learned About Self-Worth · The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hi guys, welcome back to The Fitzen Project.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: In this episode, I really think you're going to really enjoy hearing from my old buddy, Mike Tomes, as he walks us through his intimate way of finding his own authentic self and what true expression really means to him, a growing up in a world that didn't always accept him for him.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope you enjoy as he takes us through this journey.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: And also on the other side, I hope you see what I see in him, which is his own brand.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Mike Tomes is a brand.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it would not surprise me one bit if we see him in stores in the near future.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the fits in project.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Rachel Fitzpatrick.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm here with a longtime friend of mine, and someone who inspires me to really look my best and be my best self.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And Mike Domes, thank you so much for being on this and sharing your story with us today.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Hey,
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Fitz, how's it going?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Long time no see.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: I
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: know, right?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I see you up on social media all the time and you have all of this fabulousness just like it's your aura that is that has been your aura ever since i've known you it's been you and your partner's aura ever since i've known you both and i'm just like wow you are people so um so are you're a louisville native right yep right that's
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: born and raised out in the south end too dixie highway
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, yes, props.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Props to the south end of Louisville.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: But you are in a whole array of things, like a jack of all trades.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: But you've been in this, for lack of a better word, like you're popular within Louisville, but you have this, like, you're the business of yourself.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you're my Tomes.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: You bring the business of yourself everywhere you go.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Will you talk to us?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: a little bit about that?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love the way you set that up because I don't think of myself necessarily that way, but I do see that I have created myself as kind of a walking business, a human business per se.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of just created my own persona as my authentic self.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: I love what I love and I enjoy what I do as far as, you know, as you mentioned, a jack of all trades.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like I love doing a lot of things and I have this brain that has an immense amount of creativity and it's always on the go at all given times.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: So that creativity just wants to bounce around and go to as many different things as possible and go to as many different avenues as possible too.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm just always down to try different things and try to master everything.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: And when I've find a hobby or a topic or an industry that I'm just loving and enjoying or I find interested in, I just kind of go for it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so I just kind of built this person of myself and I really found myself.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I think finding myself helped do that.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_03: I was finding myself who I was, especially coming out as a gay person.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: I was hiding myself of who I was for so You know, and I wasn't true to myself and I wasn't real to myself and I wasn't real to the world.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't become that person until I found my partner of who I am with now.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: The person who I came out with to the world is who I'm with today.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think when that happened, I was able to really build who I am today and find myself and build upon that.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: And so, yeah, I did become this partner.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: this walking business.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I do like to dabble in quite a few things.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: You are such a brand.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you've said so many beautiful nuggets in that spiel.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to break it down.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that you are totally a walking, talking, authentic person.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: You always have been unapologetically.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: You literally don't care if you're loved, liked, hated, or whatever.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter because you are who you are and that your opinion of you have always mattered the most.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that 100%.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And you've always been like that step forward and like your chest is always open.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: You don't see you walk around with your shoulders slumped.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're always up and like proud.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So when you were talking just now, you were like, I haven't always been this guy.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know that I knew the guy before.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: So can you tell Tell me about that guy and what was it that got you in?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know that guy, but then I want to know the process of that long weave you said.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't happen overnight.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: How can that be your influence?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know more about that guy.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: I definitely started out as a young child at a private school.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_03: My parents My parents were very religious.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: My entire family, especially on my dad's side, were Southern Baptist conservatives.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: And as a young child, I didn't know exactly who I was because I was who my family was molding me to be.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I was striving myself to be that perfect person.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: I wanna be the best person who I need to be and want to be.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: And at that time, who they wanted me to be.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: And so I was growing up in a private school up until my parents got divorced and I went to a public school, which was an entire switch over for me.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: It was a culture shock, to be honest.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's when I kind of learned a little bit more about, you know, I don't have to be this perfect Christian boy because there was a lot that I was exposed to at a private school.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: In the South End?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: for worse.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, I was slowly but surely finding my place.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_03: But when I first got there, I wasn't, you know, welcomed with open arms.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: I was, you know, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was far advanced in my curriculum.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I was, I learned more things than they were.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: I was farther in advance as far as, you know, in
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: my studies.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, you had a primed school who probably spent a lot of time with you and then you went to public education in Jefferson County and we all know about that if you know you know
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: yeah exactly and you know coming from a strong religious background too and so it wasn't really until maybe high school and also mind you as an adolescent and a teenager I was having these weird odd feelings about these guys in my school.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: And it wasn't towards the women that everyone else was doing.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: And there was nobody that I could talk to.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: There was nobody that I could, that I saw on TV and radio or music that I really could, you know, look up to or connect with exactly.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Or if I could, I was too afraid.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so it wasn't really until high school that But there was one person, one guy that was actually out in the open.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: And he was someone that I kind of was inspired by.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: But I still hit it because I was very, very close still with my family.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I did not want to disrupt that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't want to be the black sheep of the family.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't want to be...
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: So afraid of being thrown out and looked down upon.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: And so I hit it.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: I hit it for so, so long.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: And it was up until 2008 when I was in, it was literally 20 years old going on 21.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I met Sheldon, who's my husband now.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: And we started talking online on MySpace.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: MySpace.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: Tells you how far back that goes.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: And it was January of 2008.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: And we started talking and he was just coming, he was coming on his way here to Louisville because his family lived in Georgetown or Cynthiana, Kentucky.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: They moved there from Chicago when he was 12, around 12.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: And he was going back to Chicago on his own.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: And he was like, hey, I don't know you, but you have one mutual friend with me.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I wanted to know, I'm stopping in Louisville and I would like to know some places to go and eat at and whatever.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, is this the guy I bought?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: Is he fake?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know who this is, but I love this city.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I'm the walking tourism person of Louisville.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: I know every single spot around the corner.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_03: So I was like, let me entertain him.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'll give him some thoughts.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so I gave him some ideas.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: He came through Louisville.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't meet him then.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: But it kind of started some conversations.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: And at this time, my dad was actually battling brain cancer.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so he actually started becoming kind of like this welcomed distraction.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: So although my family was very, very religious and I was not out to them or anything like that, I was very close with my dad and my mom at the very least, and still very close with with my grandmother and my aunts and stuff like that.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: But I was close to them because I wasn't out.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: More on that later, because things change.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: But I talked to Sheldon, texted him, messaged him, started having three hour, four hour long conversations in private, out in my car, because I didn't want my family to hear that I was having these conversations with this boy in the middle of the night.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: And it just grew and grew.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: And eight months later, he was stopping in again in Louisville.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: It was August of 2008.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: And we finally actually met.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: And we decided that weekend we should start dating, which was weird because I had never dated a guy in my
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: entire life.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so we started dating.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: And two weeks later, he moved in with my mom under the pretense that he was a friend that was moving to Louisville.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: And he slept in my room on a twin size bed.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: That was a decoy bed, I should say.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: And then that New Year's, I came out and I told everyone that he was not my friend.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: He was my boyfriend.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_03: And we were in love, 20 and 18 years old.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: And then that March, we bought our first house.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: And ever since then, we've been inseparable.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: And then, but But unfortunately just to backtrack a little bit that November, that December my dad had passed from brain cancer.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: He had lost his battle with brain cancer that December.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: So it was really nice to actually have Sheldon there from that August to December for those last couple of months to have them there for me as my rock.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: So pause there for just a second.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: So before like he came in and was traveling into Louisville and you guys were secret talking and stuff before he moved in with your mom what you were going in this like double life like personality double personality double life type thing and like how did that I don't know if you want to bring it up or if this is something you don't even want to talk about how did that resonate like in your body and like I guess what I'm asking is on a somatic level like how did that come into you and play where you love your family so much much that you are going to hide this, but you love yourself so much that you're also going to gift yourself this beautiful opportunity.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: How did these two loves resonate at the time?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it was very conflicting.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: Even though that I came out in that New Year's, I came out to my friends and my mom
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: and my
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: brother only.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't come out to my, because I'd I just had lost my dad that December.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: Weeks later, I come out to my friends and family, my mom and my brother, but I still held it away from my dad's side of the family, which is my grandmother and my aunts.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: Those are the conservative Baptist family that I mentioned earlier.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: I did not want to lose them.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_03: I was terrified of losing them still.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: And at that time, I was still only, I was 20, 21.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: I just had turned 21 August 18th.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_03: And so I was still young.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: I felt like my family was a huge part of me.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted them there with me more than ever just because I just lost my dad.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to hold on to them for as long as I could.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I knew and I thought and assumed coming out to them would lose them forever.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I just couldn't put that on me at that time.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: So I kept it in and I still did not come out to them.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I held it for literal years.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: I still held it and didn't, I didn't post on Facebook.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't post on socials that Sheldon and I were actually still together or are dating or together, anything like that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: We were friends, roommates.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: So even though that I was so deeply, madly in love with this person, you know, and took a chance, you know, risking everything for this guy, I still couldn't take that step to risk it all as far as, you know, my family coming and knowing.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm seeing this like birth of authenticity come into your life now.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So like you were there and you experienced this new world going into this new school and these new feelings and you're becoming self-aware which I think is where all of this no matter if this is about someone coming out such as this story or if it's about starting a new business you feel these feelings no matter what and these tiny whispers in you and you're like I have to listen to this I've had them you know it's what got me to move away from Louisville but I've had them and it's like these little whispers are coming in and they're getting stronger and stronger but you also you're playing devil's advocate you're playing the game, so to speak.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, you don't have to play the game anymore.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're coming out to your brother and your mom.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then that was receptive.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, received.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: My mom and my brother was very, very, it was very positive with them as far as them receiving that news.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: And they loved Sheldon.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: They absolutely loved him.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: So
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: they were very happy.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: Let's not be honest.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: It was very much we kind of new.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for telling me.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: There was no delusion there.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: So, so yeah.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: That is awesome.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's happened to me on several people that I've known in my life throughout and they, but that time of life too was weird in aspects of like cultural, you know, social acceptance, cultural acceptance.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was also, I mean, if you think about it, that's 2008, it was almost still weird for interracial couples, let alone gay people, to be out and about and on social media that was brand new to everybody.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Facebook was only about, what, four years old?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: Gay marriage wasn't even legal still.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't even thought of the Supreme Court passing anything, let alone Kentucky wasn't even legal in Kentucky to get married as a gay couple.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: Still very much shunned upon um at that time um so yeah
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: it was
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: scary it was scary but the great thing that really helped me and you touched on it is you know that was those small steps were very helpful in us also finding ourselves and finding our people like during this time and you know we ran into you and and found you and found you know rach the rachel's the amy's the uh the nate's and everything else, you know, those groups that really accepted us and embraced us as our authentic selves and who we are and, you know, those chosen families.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: And that really in general helped us, like really helped us find ourselves even more.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: And throughout those years, as you said, other development, those years was really crucial in us developing into who we are today.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: I
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: can only imagine.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's hard enough to do things on your own.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: But knowing that you have that support system there, it is such a catalyst.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's such a thing that people genuinely feel like that's going to be helping you create.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: create your mold.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that is awesome that you had a community, so to speak, like there with you and for you.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was totally for you guys.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: It was great.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think I met you in 2011, maybe 2010.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: It was a shit show for me at that point in my life.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: For
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: all of us.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was just hoping y'all would accept
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: me and all of my crazy.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, yeah, everything's wild.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_03: We met each other's crazy.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: So it's okay.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: We met each other's levels.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: We did.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: Those were the days.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad they happened once.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: No take backs and also no readings.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: So you guys had this gorgeous relationship.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: You found your people and then you had the most immaculate weddings I've still to this day been invited to, I talk about it.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: I tell people, I'm like, you don't know these people, but you will, if I tell you about it, just type in Google Mike Thompson, his name.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: But tell us about that.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: And like, what was your purpose in making that so genuinely amazing?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then like, that was Mike and Sheldon.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: You guys, so I've got to take a break here and tell you a little bit about what's been going on.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, I have been coming into my voice a bit, obviously with this podcast, and it's been one of the biggest blessings I have probably given myself the opportunity to receive in a very long time.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Not only am I able to connect with real people, but it also is just like an intimate conversation.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's creating this community in this brand, in the I want to thank you seriously from the bottom of my heart for staying tuned in and listening and supporting this podcast.
• 21:45
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• 21:52
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• 21:58
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• 22:00
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• 22:08
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• 22:10
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• 22:13
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• 22:16
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• 22:28
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• 22:31
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• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's links in my show notes.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I would love love love love to see you in there thank you
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: yeah um well so as we were gearing up and um you know in our relationship and years have passed and you know 2015 came around and same-sex marriage you know became legal that was the stepping stone in us coming out and being like you know what i don't care about my family knowing or not knowing um this is our moment, and we need to be loud and proud, and it doesn't matter who accepts us or doesn't.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: And so we took to the streets, and we went out and celebrated with so many people, and we were so proud and happy, and the next step was, you know, okay, we now need to get married.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: Because we wanted to get married prior to that, of course, because we started dating in 2008, this was 2015, so years have gone past, but I was very adamant on not going to a different state and having to compromise and get married somewhere else to make it legal.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: I said, I was very adamant, it's going to happen in Kentucky and we're going to make that happen.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the only way we're going to get married.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it happened and it was great.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: And so when it became a federal law, that's when I said, we're going to tell my family.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_03: And so when we told my family, it was not perceived you know happily of course as you could probably have imagined it made you know birthdays and holidays very awkward political things conversations were the height of our topics of any of those conversations around those times and so 2016 September was when our wedding was happening and when I spoke to my family about them attending as we were creating our guest list, they pretty much told me that they would not be able to attend because them attending alone would be accepting what we are doing and the life that we are living and the sin.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_03: They would basically be In a sense, supporting a sin that the Bible states is against the law of God.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: So they were refusing to come to the wedding.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: And those were aunts, uncles, et cetera, grandmothers.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: You have no idea.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: I was so close to my grandmother.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: I was my grandmother's third other child when I was growing up.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: So it was devastating to say the least, but that was a very big turning point of me for me because at that point I had found my people and I had created such strong bonds and relationships with so many people at that point that I feel like they were becoming my chosen family.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: And up to the wedding, I had my brother and my mom.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: I had already become welcomed very much And very much developed into Sheldon's family because Sheldon's family was very welcoming and accepting.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so I was like, you know what?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: As much as I love my family, I spent so many years hiding myself, afraid, hurting myself.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: cried, was terrified, sad, mad, angry, all these crazy emotions other than happy.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so why am I putting myself through this?
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: If they're not happy for me, why would I be happy now?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: being around them or being associated with them, would I be happier without them or around them or, you know, associated with them in any situation or any manner?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: And other than a select few who reached out and, you know, still stay up to date with me, or I had one cousin that did come to the wedding unexpectedly, which was a great surprise.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I...
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: I told myself, for your better good and for the better good of your relationship, because there were so many times that even during my relationship with Sheldon, I was like, is this worth it?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: Is my family worth it?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is my relationship worth it for my family?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: And so after my wedding, it was a very big eye-opening experience.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_03: But for my wedding, to get to that, to your question, I wanted my wedding to be over the top and fun and lavish and I wanted as many of my friends there as many of my close acquaintances even I wanted it to be beautiful and something that I was going to remember from time to come and I wanted to be something that years from now people are going to come up and say and reminisce about and experience so that way it brings it up for me and brings those memories up for me even like as we are now because it just brings these I wanted to be something that I was going to be able to talk about and it just bring up joy and It was
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: joy.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: And it is bringing joy up right now.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: Even though I'm talking about my family not being there, it still brings joy to my life right now, talking about it.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so I wanted that moment.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: And so we had it at the Louisville Palace, as you know.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_03: And we had 350 guests.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_03: And the Louisville Palace is the most beautiful place to get married
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: in Louisville.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Stunning.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't require much of anything.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: other than flowers and tables and chairs.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it was the most beautiful ceremony.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then we went over to the Mercury Ballroom and had the most crazy party.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was the wildest.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was so wild.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the aerials was fun.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: The dancers and the ice luge.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was like being at a Beyonce concert, you know, but like backstage.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: It was a blast.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: It was a blast.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was just like a super embarrassing video of me in my like formal gear and I was dancing.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it's out there somewhere in the abyss, but it was just like not one of my finest moments ever, but I just totally like got so low.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: I fell out the floor.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: You're
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: not, you're not the only one.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: And there's also a video out there where some wedding, some people off the street came in and just walked in and my friends were trying to kick them out.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, no, no, no.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: just let them come in and have fun
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: everybody's having a good day so the
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: alcohol's already paid for let them come in and have fun and they they came in and just enjoyed themselves but uh but after that um i i loved it and i had the best time ever our cake uh that we were supposed to have on our one year anniversary stayed in our car for two weeks because we forgot it so
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: that was great traditions have been gone out the windows for a while
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: um and but after that um it was a family, I still, this is kind of painful, but I still kept a table open for my family and it remained open and the seats remained unused.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And so that was just an eye-opener for me.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: And after that, I just told myself I have to distance myself from them.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: And that was the moment.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: And Ever since then, I just slowly distanced myself and now I'm in hardly any communication, if not at all, with many of my family.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I honestly, I know that there's a small void in there, but there's so much happiness in my life that I have filled that void with that it's just kind of non-existent anymore.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's a few things to that too, right?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like...
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: The small void, yes, maybe going forward.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: But before that, there was a big void.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it was self abandonment.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like you making sure you fit in this box, because it's conditional, it's conditioned love, right?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: Where you innately are an unconditional loving guy.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like there are no conditions on your love for people, where or even yourself.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's no conditions on that.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how you walk through this authentic peace and this authentic life.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I mean, you've said it over just in this time we've been together.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we were a shit show, blah, blah, blah.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't change it for anything, right?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was this way and this Christian boy came up and all this, not changing it for anything because it's unconditional.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's where a lot of people get...
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: mixed up in these relationships that we create and we're forming because we want it to be in this way and then when someone's acting outside of the circle that they drew for them their nervous system can't handle it so that's now a them problem and not a you problem and now you get to live your best life i mean
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: you said that so greatly like
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: that's
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_03: literally couldn't have been said any better
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: well thank
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: you I
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: hear this often and I hear this is how people become into the business of themselves and how they go from great to extraordinary you know and like you're on this extraordinary path but let's get back to your path because there's more to this now like you've had this gorgeous wedding and now you're in this life and the family members you're realizing like you have to be in it for you you made this commitment to yourself a while ago now you've committed to this gorgeous man in front of 350 people now where are we
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: at this point I'm trying to figure out my career I mean I was I went into banking when I was 18 years old and I was still in banking up until this point and Around this time, I was really heavily in the events and the party scene.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I was kind of known as the party guy.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know that.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: I was going into all the events.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: I got hired by an event company that threw parties for like Rolling Stone magazine and the MLB All-Star Games.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, traveling for the Super Bowl and everything else.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: And that was so fun and so great.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_03: And that kind of latched on and...
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: became like a local thing.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: And so like all the bars and all the clubs, clubs, I guess, in Louisville, we didn't really have club clubs in Louisville.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_03: They kind of wanted me to be this person and this, I hate the word promoter, but kind of be this person that came and hosted events and did this thing.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: And that became like a thing for me for a while.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that was a lot of fun.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_03: And it really helped me with my social butterfly type energy that I have and wanted to make sure that that was expanded and had room to go out and do its thing.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: And that was such a fun part of my life during that time.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: But also finding balance because, you know, with you guys, especially like finding balance on having so many acquaintances Yeah.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_03: they are trying to be with you to avoid a$5 cover at Sullivan.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_03: But, and that was also a very big learning curve for me is figuring out and learning people for who they are and genuinely seeing people for who they are too.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that was a testament on, Who I know today and who I give time to today that I knew and was associated with back that far, like, that helped me so much on figuring out people that I come across now.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, one last thing I would love for you to check out.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have a link in the show notes that is part of my stand store.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: And in September, I've got some really great offerings that I would love to have you come and check out.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you're so totally invited to them.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: So September, I've got a soulful September sunrise.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it is as juicy as it sounds.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: It begins at 7 a.m.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: Monday through Friday.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's Eastern Standard Time.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: time.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that is going to be live with access to recordings afterwards.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it's for the entire month of September.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: So when you think about how you want to arrive every single morning in this new season and this new life and this new fall and how it's going to arrive for you and you for it, I hope you do it and with attention.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all I ask.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not with me, do it with somebody else.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: But please just check it out.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: I've also got a mommy and me and I yoga class with my son Theo so September 6th September 20th both of those we will be doing yoga together probably some little dinosaur moves and I invite you to come and play it's going to be at 9 a.m.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: Eastern Standard Time and you and your littles are totally invited so don't forget check it out in the show notes there's lots of goodies in there and I will see you in September
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_03: yeah and because I do I did give so much time and effort and energy to people that really didn't deserve it.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I found out, you know, either years afterwards or months afterwards, days afterwards, whatever it may be, you know, because you did say it earlier.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_03: I give everyone so much energy and time because I love and I give everyone a benefit of a doubt.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I was very trustworthy a long time ago, still am today almost to an extent.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: But I think everyone deserves chances.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think everyone is beautiful in their own way.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I love to make sure that I'm a hostess at heart.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I love to
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: make sure- With the mostest, by
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_03: the way.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_03: With the
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: mostest.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: I do love to make sure everyone's happy and having a good time and everyone's attended to.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I was doing a lot of that back in the day and I still do that today.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: But back in the day, you had- I had to learn, you know, who's here for you and who's here for what you're able to
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: offer.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: own like shit show shit falls but yeah but it's like there at some point you learn how to project your energy with a protection so it's not like i'm going to protect and just get real cold because like you said to still an extent today i give people the benefit of the doubt but you project with wiseness now and i think that's the best and such a self-awareness too because a lot of people like still don't get that
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: like
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: they'll either one or the other protect and shrivel up and become so jaded and hateful or they can protect while they project and still be this like shiny light and weave and change and move and you know to hell with the people that don't really serve us and are using us in a terrible way find somebody else there's a bazillion people on the world like see you never you know i need to make room for people that matter
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_03: exactly and i will say too um i think and i'm jumping way ahead to today um i will say too that like back in the day that really helped me with today on that that kind of learning experience has helped me with today with today's political environment
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: and
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_03: because i also up until just just recently even.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was giving so many people who have just recently voted against my rights, voted in ways that have steered in directions that are going against my rights and going against things that are not going to help me in the long run or could be affecting people within my community, people against women's rights and minorities and et cetera.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, look what just happened literally today.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_03: that the crosswalk in Orlando was erased by the administration.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_03: The Pride, that was a monument for the Orlando Pride, the Pride, the Pulse mass shooting, that was erased today.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: And that just kind of goes to show what is happening in our political environment.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's only been happening because of what's been voted for.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_03: And so I have been really also making sure that the people I surround myself with have been also people who are looking out for my best interests as well.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Because I think that we should all have a duty and a responsibility to look out for one another.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's part of humanity.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: And having, you know, just a sense of being in humanity and wanting to do what's not just best for you, but best for the stranger on the side of the street or your next door neighbor or your hairdresser or the person at the grocery store that's checking you out.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think everyone deserves the equal chance of being.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I think in our political environment right now, everyone's out for themselves and also for very weird, selfish, crazy reasons or reasons that are trending.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_03: I think social media has made it really hard for our political environment to be kind of fair or to be balanced or sane, I should say.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: The media itself is such a toxic release of politics in general to the point where I stand, I'm like, I don't even know what's real and what's not anymore.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is a lot.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot to take in.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot to digest as far as which piece are you going to give your most attention to?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_01: What the
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: heck?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: I really try to stay out of...
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: politics in general, but I know where I stand, but I also want to make sure that I stand with people who are in it for the right reasons and have good reasons to be behind whatever political spectrum you swing on, as long as there's a respectable reason why.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_03: But when I have friends or people who are close to me, I want to make sure that they are voting and doing anything that they do for the right reasons And not just because it's a trend or it's because affiliation and there's meaning behind it.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_03: Because when there's no meaning or there's no substance behind it, they're literally doing things that are...
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Blind.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: Or blind.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a detriment to the well-being of others.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_03: And those are the kind of people that I really don't just want to associate myself with anymore.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_03: Literally, you take things from getting people in for free at a club to political environment situations.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's so crazy how life situations...
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: prepare you for your future.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's true.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: So with that, I mean, you've got this reputation, and you've got all of this now going for you in a way where you are standing in your power, you're standing in your, your power of being with your husband, Sheldon, your power of being with your new job is not a promoter, but like, you're the guy, you know, that these people are called And then now you're kind of like seeing people for who they
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_03: really are.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: in, again, all spectrums of whatever political affiliation that you are.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, as long as there's substance and meaning behind what you do, I can find some type of common ground, I hope.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: However, there's a very...
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_03: you know, fine line on where that stands.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_03: However, but for me, who I am now today, I am, I'm just, I'm a marketing director for five radio stations here in Louisville.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: So five really popular radio stations.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm also a brand ambassador.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: I do social media consulting on the side.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I do quite a bit, a lot of stuff.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I do fashion styling.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_03: I do fashion directing for some of the public publications here in Louisville.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm all over the place, literally.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_03: But like I said, I have that creative mindset that just needs to be used and utilized all over the place in any direction, avenues as possible.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm also someone that is into huge fashion.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_03: I am into my own style I'm into finding different ways to make Louisville a little bit more stylish itself and it being a little bit more up on the trends
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: you do that with grace and etiquette and perfection mind you I have to stop you there because there's no one that's dressed better than you and Sheldon at the Kentucky Derby hands down I'll say it to anybody to their face I don't care if Paris Hilton is coming up I'm like no sorry have you seen their outfits like oh my gosh from head to toe you two are a vibe and it is just like when I saw you guys at the derby it was Oaks probably one time and I was like oh my god and it was in real life and he looked great then in 2013 and then now I see you in pictures because I don't go anymore but I'm like look at this look at these amazing Do you get them hand tailored?
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like what is it?
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: How do you make these suits?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: Are you making them?
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: What is going on?
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: Derby is like my favorite holiday of the year.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: I know that there's again, politics behind Derby and everything else too.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_03: And it may ruffle some feathers of some people, but I love Derby.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm obsessed with it because it just allows me to be super creative with style.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it brings out so many other people who, who want to take style risk as well.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_03: And, I
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: love
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_03: that style risk.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_03: of my outfits I'm preparing months in advance and I normally will start working with local hat makers or milliners here in Louisville so I always like to support local milliners here so I'll collaborate with them and I'll try to start there or I'll have outfits in mind or a color combination something of the sort and then I'll start building my outfit around that but a lot of times I will either upcycle some of my outfits and I'll find them in vintage stores or consignment stores I'll order stuff online and then I will like I did this year I upcycled some suits that Sheldon and I already had and I added trinkets and lace and different I can't remember what I had on it, but different add-ons to it.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I hot glue gunned, I sewed, I did everything and everything that I could to it.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_03: And just to make it unique and special to where like, you literally couldn't get it anywhere else.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's the whole
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: point of what I need to
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_03: do.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_01: And people look at you and they know that.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, oh my God, where'd you get that?
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you're just like, this is Mike Tombs.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I try as much as possible to make it as unique for me.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I hand make, you know, as far as hand making things is the additions to what I find.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how to sew an entire garment by myself.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_03: I will not, I cannot admit to that.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: But I do love to upcycle and making sure that, you know, instead of going out and buying a whole new suit or something like that, I will normally upcycle something.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think Katie Mandler, she upcycles as well.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm obsessed with her.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: I
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: know she She's got the most unique, authentic style.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you too.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: You too.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I am excited because
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm working with a designer next year and I came across her on Instagram.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_03: She's here locally.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_03: And we are coming up with some really cool, unique, one of a kind outfits.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_03: And
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_03: And you're just going to have to wait and see.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: You're going to have to be reeling this into some sneak previews.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: Get us real pumped and excited to see this on your socials.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: I will.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be watching.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be sharing.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: Put some giveaways, too, when you're doing these.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, ooh, what would you like to see?
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_02: I
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: think that would be fun.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love your creativity.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: You are in all the things.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I am, too.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: Creative people are just that way anyways.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can have a full-time job, of course.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: But that's just because you got to eat.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: But then there's like stuff like fun stuff like podcasting or yoga or creating things.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's just so much stuff to do in 24 hours.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like we could get it done.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: I
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_03: know.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you got going on right now for the people?
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: What are you promoting right now?
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: The other day I saw something.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: You had a giveaway going and I thought, oh my God, staycation in Louisville.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's what sparked me.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: to like, I need Mike.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I just did, I'm doing a collaboration with Liv and Lou, which is, so I really have been enjoying working with like the mayor, the mayor's wife, Rachel, who I'm obsessed with and adore.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_03: Her and I do some things together where we're really trying to help with highlighting and focusing on small businesses in Louisville and really building it up and very active in this city.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's another big initiative for me and something I've loved about the mayor in general, Mayor Craig Greenberg.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_03: He's been doing a phenomenal job here and so has his wife, being very active in our community and our small businesses.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_03: And so I've been working with some of our local accounts here, like big Instagram accounts, and one of them's Liv and Lou.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I did a staycation locally here with a hotel distill and one of the steakhouses repeal.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_03: And that was a lot of fun.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_03: And we really highlighted some of our downtown businesses, the walking bridge and our soccer team, loose city.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: And that was just a lot of fun.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_03: And that took off really well.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_03: But currently we have bourbon beyond and louder than life coming
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_02: up.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_02: I
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_03: just did.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_03: I just judged Kentucky he's best dressed with the Voice Tribune.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_03: So that was a lot of fun.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: And then...
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: Literally after Louder Than Life, Sheldon and I will be in Japan for two weeks.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_03: So we're excited for that.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: I am so...
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I'm like jelly or if I'm enthused or excited because Japan! I know,
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_03: it's exciting.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: I just looked that up for Josh and I to do a honeymoon.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps that's where we end, but I don't know for sure.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: But we are going to be at Bourbon Beyond on Saturday.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yay! Oh my
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: gosh.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, yeah.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_03: We've got to link up.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: I would absolutely love to.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he's got to meet you anyway.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I've been talking about you for the past two weeks.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: like, you've got to know.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, I related a bit.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, tomorrow's my interview with Mike.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he's
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_02: like,
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: who's Mike?
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my God, I've been talking about Mike for like two weeks now.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, oh, I know who you're talking about.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: I hope it's
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_03: great.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: I told Sheldon that our thing was today.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_03: Sheldon says hi, by the way.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_03: I forgot to tell you that.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_03: He was like, oh my gosh, I haven't seen her forever I
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: know it's been too long too long but this has just been like great for my soul I know me too seriously and I know
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: you've been asking me a bunch of questions and talking about me but I'm just so happy for you too and what you've been doing and following your your love for yoga I'm here to I love it we'll do some yoga poses at bourbon be on together
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: what don't tease me with a good time
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'm about as good as downward facing dog but don't trying to have me do it any worse than that, any more than that.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a thing called booty yoga and it is downward facing dog on a new level.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it would bring us back straight into 2011 and I'm not mad at it.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_02: But
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: yeah.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you, Mike.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of you were contacted recently by yoga studio and I contact you the same day and you're like, I don't know if this means I need to do yoga or not, but If you're interested, I'm just going to go ahead and throw this out here.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a soulful September sunrise coming up Monday through Friday, 7 a.m., 30 minutes, just 30 minutes a day.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it gets you started and reset for the whole month of September, take you into your fall blissful.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll have that.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_03: Here.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: here for it.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think maybe I can actually do it in Japan when I'm there in Japan.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: You really could.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: You really could.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: I will.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: find a Zen
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_03: garden to do it in.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_01: And would you take a picture and just do it a warrior one in Japan anyway, even if you don't do this September sunrise, you know, I want to see this.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's going to be gorgeous.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: So did you guys plan your Japan?
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know one last thing.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did you plan that out or did you hire that out for planning?
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: Cause you got a friend.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_03: Sheldon and I are obsessed with traveling and we normally plan cause we lend Lindsay is who you're talking about.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_03: She's normally the resorts type things, other cruises.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_03: She doesn't really get much from what we're doing.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't want to burden her with my high demands on the travel requirements.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, be living in my highest self, most authentic.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: And this is what I have died for.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: I won't bring it all in.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, I think that is going to be gorgeous.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to be on the lookout for all of your else photos.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy that you get to do that and you'll be on more trips I mean I saw you guys when you were in Greece and I'm going off rogue but didn't they like forget your suitcase or you didn't get it for a while and you had to buy a whole new wardrobe
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_03: that was in Italy Italy yeah yeah Italy they they canceled our trip and then told us that there was no way to rebook it and then I found a way to rebook it Lindsay actually helped with that she found us an alternative route um which took us to Rome and then Rome we were there for four hours overnight and then flew into naples they were supposed to take our luggage straight from portugal to to naples but instead they were like oh no they go they went to rome let's send their bags to rome and sent our bags to rome we had already left so we're sitting there in naples waiting for our bags and then they never came uh and so they sat in rome for three days and um and then they delivered them to our first location we had already left our first location.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_03: And then they had to re-deliver those to our second location.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_03: After five days, we finally got our luggage.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: But by that point, we had already bought other wardrobe.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel like I'm a creep yet?
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm calling all these things out that I've been seeing on your
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_03: show.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm surprised you even have that memory because I have the memory of a literal goldfish.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it seems like traumatizing because that's the last thing that I would want to happen.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we just went to Europe in June and that's when we got engaged And I was like, what if our luggage, what if we have a Mike Tomes experience?
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: we forget our luggage, but
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_03: yeah.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and I had, you know, I had an outfit for each day too.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_03: I was wearing three outfits a day to catch up so I can wear them all.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: I believe it.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: All right, Mike, what is your handle on social?
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_03: People can find me on Mike underscore Tomes, T-O-M-E-S underscore social.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_01: S-O-C-I-A-L.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_03: phenomenal um at they put on shows all across the nation um huge some of the biggest festivals um and um i have an outfit for each day for that too so be ready
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: absolutely awesome uh well thank you so very much and i love you i know our listeners are gonna love your story and how you became into the business of yourself in your most authentic way and i think it's you have such a beautiful story and you're a shiny light to everybody.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for just being you.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's awesome.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_03: No, thank you, Rachel, because you are just amazing.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_03: I love you to death.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_03: And this has been just the highlight of everything.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh,
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_01: I love you.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I've received that.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't wait to see you at
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_01: Bourbon.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's happening.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: Sturgill Simpson, be still heart.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's going to be good.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: Love you.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_01: I
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_03: love you, friend.