Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How narcissists steal your identity
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we are talking about how narcissist will steal your
- 0:06identity. Not your driver's license, but
- 0:08but, well, some of them might steal your driver's license, but
- 0:10your real identity, your personality traits, and all the
- 0:12other good stuff. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:14Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:16narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:18of The Narcissist Code. Welcome back.
- 0:36Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:37Yes, narcissists are identity thieves.
- 0:42Identity theft is real. Is a identity theft is real.
- 0:45Jim is a crime to many Americans.
- 0:47Miss every day bears beats Battlestar going to let the gun.
- 0:53Yes, I'm a fan of The Office, if you did not know.
- 0:56But yeah, y'all, narcissistic, toxic people are absolutely
- 1:01identity thieves. They will steal your identity
- 1:04you like. So have you ever wondered, were
- 1:06you in a relationship with a narcissistic person?
- 1:08Right. And they start to act like you,
- 1:10They start to behave like you. They start to like the same type
- 1:13of musics, musics, the same type of music that you like, the same
- 1:17type of, like this thing that you, some of them might start to
- 1:20dress the same if it if it's your narcissistic best friend or
- 1:23cousin or brother or sister or whatever, they might actually
- 1:25start to dress like you. You know, they steal your
- 1:28identity because we lack our own.
- 1:31Let's be let's keep it hot. You know, I tell people all the
- 1:34time that who you see in front of you right now is an
- 1:37accumulation of all the person I've, the traits that I've
- 1:41admired and other people or that I've been jealous of and other
- 1:44people, you know, even down to my music taste.
- 1:47Yeah, my music taste like I used to work third shift at Harris
- 1:51Teeter distribution Center in Greensville, North Carolina.
- 1:53Shout out to my HT fam. But they used to play country
- 1:59music over there. I used to hate country music.
- 2:01But then I started people around me sort of liking it.
- 2:03I was like I got to fit in. So I started liking country
- 2:05music. I started liking rock'n'roll.
- 2:07You know, I started liking 33 Doors, 3 Doors Down, Three Days,
- 2:11Grace and other stuff like that. You know, just Luke Bryan, Luke
- 2:14Combs. Like you listen to my playlist
- 2:15right now. It's all like Luke Combs and
- 2:18Luke Bryan, like, you know, you got a fast car.
- 2:21Yeah, I've all, I've all on it. I'm all on it because that's, I
- 2:25feel like I need to become other people, to be liked, to be
- 2:27admired, to be appreciated or whatever.
- 2:30So I've been doing that for a very long time.
- 2:32It's and it's crazy how it works.
- 2:34Like the narcissistic person in your life, especially when you
- 2:37get out of a relationship with them, you be you're going to be
- 2:39shocked at how much they take from you.
- 2:42What I mean by take from you, You're going to be shocked by
- 2:44how much they start to act like you behave like you do certain
- 2:48things like you do. You say a lot of them are going
- 2:52to start doing this type of stuff like they're going to
- 2:55start behaving and kind of like you.
- 2:56They're going to use what they learn from you to manipulate
- 3:00other people, 'cause like, let's just say I like country music,
- 3:04right? Like, I didn't like country
- 3:06music before I got into the relationship with you.
- 3:07So I But I started liking it because it would help me get
- 3:10closer to you. So now that our relationship is
- 3:13over, guess what happens? I the next relationship.
- 3:17Now I have a new interest. Now I have a new personality
- 3:20trait. Now I have a new hobby.
- 3:22I have something that I didn't like before that I might not
- 3:26like right now, but I can use it.
- 3:28It's like, it's like putting it in my little toxic knapsack, my
- 3:31little toxic book bag. Oh, country music, rap,
- 3:41Parcheesi, tennis. You know, I'm, I'm stuffing
- 3:49things everywhere because it helps me be me.
- 3:53It helps me be more of me, you know.
- 3:56And I love it. And this is part of who I've
- 3:58become like. They will absolutely steal who
- 4:01you are to improve themselves. And I know what people want to
- 4:04say. Well, Lee, that sound like most
- 4:06people do it. That sound like things that
- 4:07everybody does. It's the intent, you know?
- 4:11Intent matters. Intent matters.
- 4:15The intent to manipulate somebody in a negative way, The
- 4:17intent to take advantage of somebody.
- 4:19The pretend. The intent to pretend you know
- 4:22it's OK if you're around somebody and then you start
- 4:25picking up there. If you're around somebody for a
- 4:27long time, you start to act like them.
- 4:29You know that's OK because y'all still going to be friends, Y'all
- 4:31still cool. It's like y'all bouncing things
- 4:33off of each other, y'all sharing clothes.
- 4:35You're doing whatever. Like if your boyfriend or
- 4:37girlfriend, husband or wife or whoever it is in this situation,
- 4:40y'all are growing together. It's not a toxic relationship.
- 4:43Now if they're telling you, if they're taking your person out
- 4:46of the characteristics and using them to manipulate you, to get
- 4:49to, to give you, to kind of lull you into this false sense of
- 4:54security, that's what the point is right there.
- 4:57And I thought, I need to clarify that because some people will
- 4:59hear me say that about the taking person out of the
- 5:01characteristics and you will automatically put, you put, you
- 5:04know, y'all little empathetic people.
- 5:05You look too much empathy. You were like, well, Lee, I can
- 5:08put myself in the I can put my, my, I can, I can wear the shoes
- 5:11of other people and feel like them and act like them.
- 5:14So does that make me a narcissist?
- 5:15No, Because you have the ability to put yourself, put yourself in
- 5:18other people's shoes, right? It doesn't make you a
- 5:21narcissist. Narcissist can't do that.
- 5:23We like, we try out. We could, we could put the shoes
- 5:25on, but they don't fit. They don't match us.
- 5:27They don't feel right. So we it's it's like a fault.
- 5:29It's like literally able to create a different mask.
- 5:33We use you to create a different mask not only for you, but for
- 5:37possible, for possibly for people in the future as well,
- 5:40you know. So this happens quite a bit.
- 5:41That's why I just tell people if you're dealing with a narcissist
- 5:43or a toxic person or whoever, this is part of the dynamic that
- 5:46you might face any situation. You might face the situation
- 5:50where you have to you where you encounter a toxic narcissistic
- 5:52person that really absolutely steals your personality, that
- 5:56steals your personality traits. They really do.
- 5:59So that's why I just tell people.
- 6:00But a lot of the people in these situations that like there's be
- 6:04realistic, there's really nothing you can do about it.
- 6:06They're going to take your personality trace anyway.
- 6:08You can't really, if they're, especially if they're in a new
- 6:10relationship, what you going to do, reach out to the new supply
- 6:11and just say, hey, look, they really don't like Parcheesi.
- 6:15They just do it and can manipulate you.
- 6:16It. They hate Parcheesi.
- 6:18They're chess person. They're they they like to play
- 6:20Mancala. You know they they don't, they
- 6:23don't play that game. You know I put them on that
- 6:26they're pretending and it doesn't make you look crazy like
- 6:29they they already told the new supplier that you're crazy and
- 6:31now you reaching out talking about Parcheesi and Mancala,
- 6:34they're going to say you just you kind of staring into the
- 6:37skid, you know you're hitting the you're hitting the guardrail
- 6:39right there and whatnot. So that's what I tell people.
- 6:42Just kind of be careful this situation.
- 6:43I said Mancala, y'all know, y'all know what Mancala is.
- 6:46It's a little game. I think it's the game where back
- 6:48in the day it's like a little marble game where you like it's
- 6:52it's got like little holes in the holes in the board and you
- 6:54take the little marbles and it's yeah, y'all know somebody.
- 6:57If you know what I'm talking about.
- 6:58I don't know if that ages me, it show y'all my age or whatever
- 7:01because you know, this is 30, there's a little 38, this this
- 7:04is 38, but that's where it goes right there.
- 7:07So I'm just trying to tell people on a consistent basis
- 7:09they're like, you have to protect yourself.
- 7:10You have to protect your peace. You have to protect.
- 7:12You have to guard yourself right now in these situations.
- 7:15Just in like if people monitor people, y'all observe the people
- 7:20that are in your life. If they tell you like if you
- 7:23let's say, if you're getting back out here into the dating
- 7:25world and somebody tells you that they don't like something
- 7:29and then all of a sudden they're you tell them that you do and
- 7:32they start liking it and you feel like it's manipulative.
- 7:34Y'all watch out that's that's that's something.
- 7:39It could be a little it's, it's little a little red flaggy right
- 7:43there. A little red flaggy.
- 7:45Not big red, not a big, not big red, little red flaggy right
- 7:50there in that situation. So it's like tell people like
- 7:52you have to be careful, not be careful what you wish for, but
- 7:55be careful how you operate. Be careful in these situations
- 7:57right here because this is what happens.
- 7:59So I want you to like, just study people.
- 8:01Y'all ask deep, That's what I tell you.
- 8:03Ask deep penetrating questions. Get to know someone for who they
- 8:08really are. Not who they pretend to be, not
- 8:11who they become with you, but who they really are at their
- 8:15core. Don't just ask red or What's
- 8:18your favorite colour? What's your favorite?
- 8:21No, no, let me let me interview your exes if we can be serious.
- 8:26If I were to interview your exes, what would they say about
- 8:28you? You know, if I were to interview
- 8:32your exes, what would they say about you?
- 8:34Ask a deep question. You know, what's your favorite
- 8:37band? What's your favorite music?
- 8:38What's your you know? Get deep.
- 8:40Get deeper. What's your diss?
- 8:42What don't you like? You and yo-yo, you and these
- 8:46situations right here, you want to be the one who asked these
- 8:48questions first because it gives, it doesn't give them the
- 8:51opportunity to manipulate you later on.
- 8:53You say if you were asking the question first, like if you ask
- 8:57the question first, right? And then later on, like, is that
- 9:01you? If you ask the question first,
- 9:02it doesn't give them the ability to ask you like because if you
- 9:07ask first, they have to give you an answer or they'll ask, Look,
- 9:10what about you and then they'll answer.
- 9:12If they ask you and then you answer, then they can say, oh,
- 9:15me too. You see what I'm saying?
- 9:16It gives you the opportunity to learn about them first.
- 9:19Sometimes you have to take the initiative.
- 9:20Y'all you have to take the initiative.
- 9:22And you know, getting these, getting into these people's
- 9:25minds, getting into their heads and whatnot because it help it
- 9:28overall. It can absolutely help you
- 9:30survive in a lot of these situations that you might not
- 9:32think you can survive in. So I just tell you, just, like
- 9:35ask deep, penetrating questions because they will absolutely
- 9:38steal your identity. They'll they'll, they'll wear
- 9:40you like a damn skin suit you're seeing.
- 9:42You see the Texas Chainsaw mascot with Leatherface when he
- 9:45took the people's faces off. So wearing them, that's what
- 9:47they'll do. That's that's what they do with
- 9:48your your personality traits. Narcissists, narcissists or
- 9:52Leatherface. You know, Texas Chainsaw
- 9:54Massacre. They'll wear you like a suit and
- 9:57they look, it's a snug fit, a tailor, A tailored suit.
- 10:01They wear you like a tailored suit.
- 10:02It's a tailored version of you that they put on and if they
- 10:05wear it would not. So you want to be able to
- 10:08protect yourself in this situation.
- 10:09So ask the questions first. Well Lee, I'm kind of passive.
- 10:12What? Monitor their answers Yeah.
- 10:15Look study body language. This is how you can defeat
- 10:18narcissists. Study body like, read body
- 10:20language books, watch videos on body language and micro
- 10:23expressions. Because you go they can lie,
- 10:27they can lie out of their mouths but their body?
- 10:30I'm just telling you their body might not lie.
- 10:32A little subtle movement or eye twitch, You know, that's the
- 10:35guy. You tell somebody somebody's
- 10:36lying or somebody really likes something.
- 10:38Sometimes, like, they might just say, oh, I love that in the I
- 10:41betwixt. You know, like, oh, wait, wait,
- 10:42wait, wait. What was that with you?
- 10:44What's that? What's that with your left eye?
- 10:46Nothing going on with my left eye.
- 10:48What do you mean? Now it's right.
- 10:50Let me put my I know I should wear my shades.
- 10:53Hold on. I'm going to finish the date
- 10:55like this. Don't worry about my eyes.
- 10:57Look at my heart. Don't look at my eyes.
- 10:59Look at my heart. Please don't judge me by my
- 11:01eyes. Look at my heart.
- 11:02You can see that you can still kind of see the eyebrow
- 11:04twitching. Do the damn do the bandana.
- 11:07But this is what I'm just telling you.
- 11:08Ask deep, penetrating questions. So you want to be the first to
- 11:11ask. So you don't want to say, yeah,
- 11:12I just don't want you to get manipulated by a person that is
- 11:14not being authentic with you because that sucks.
- 11:17It absolutely sucks. And you don't deserve that.
- 11:20But you have to take initiative. You have to kind of have a
- 11:22little bit of bravery and stand up for yourself in the beginning
- 11:24of relationships or why you're actually in a relationship and
- 11:26to monitor them. Like if they tell you that they
- 11:29like something and they get you because narcissists are evolving
- 11:32too. Y'all.
- 11:33So if they tell you that they like something and you can start
- 11:35to get into a relationship with them and you notice that they
- 11:37don't really like that, this y'all take take notes.
- 11:40You can take notes, right? Or have a diary, you know, have
- 11:44a diary. Get My Myself Love My Myself
- 11:47Love Journal. It's available on Amazon.
- 11:49Check out Myself Love Journal. It's right here.
- 11:52Check the self love journal. You can write in this and it
- 11:54helps you rebuild that self love.
- 11:55It's available on Amazon right in that, right in that type of
- 11:58stuff like that. Y'all help yourself, help
- 12:00yourself survive. Help yourself thrive.
- 12:02Because at the end of the day you have to live the life that
- 12:04you want to live. I promise you, they're going to
- 12:06live. Hey, they're going to live their
- 12:07life. They're going to live their
- 12:08life. Anyways.
- 12:09Y'all thank you so much for tuning in.
- 12:10Make sure you like and subscribe for more.
- 12:12And there's always y'all. There's always nothing.
- 12:14This is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 12:17to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
- 12:19Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
- 12:22If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
- 12:24subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
- 12:26on my playlist. There's also a link available up
- 12:29here for you to purchase my kids.
- 12:31But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
- 12:34out. Thank you.
- 12:35I will see you in the next video.
- 12:37Peace.