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A Great Leader Ends Every Story With So Now What · The Leader Mentality

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens, and we've got Nick Di Stefano back with us.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: What's happening, Nick?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Life is good, man.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to be here.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, let's get started with something.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't talked in it's been two or three weeks.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and we uh last we were talking, you were talking about doing a marathon or something to that effect.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Did this happen yet?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if so, how did you do?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I did my uh ultra marathon, so more than a marathon, which is uh wild and fun and crazy, and yeah, it was it was a good time.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I uh did it beginning of February, and then I got in my about 20 hours or so of running, I got 55 miles done, and I ran in a circle the whole time, which was probably more challenging mentally than anything else.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I could tell you lots of stories about it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have to get back to that, you know, and and and I don't want to get too far from our show topic, which is today, but for those listening, we are going to, and we will be circling back.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: For you runners out there who are listening to Lear Mentality's show, we are gonna definitely talk about it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: I got stories too from the home show.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: But uh today we're gonna talk about something that is near and dear to uh anybody who has ever learned a story well.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: To anybody who has done public speaking, um, you are gonna know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a person who wants to do a better job with public speaking, I'm talking about somebody, you're a student, you're about to give your first presentation in front of a class, maybe you're a little nervous about that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you gotta come out and uh introduce a guest speaker.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna tell you about a tip today that is as powerful a tip as you can have.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And what it is, is it's storytelling as a leadership tool.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I to me, I I think if you look biblically, uh storytelling became a thing, you know, and and and people learned like that, parables and whatnot.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but storytelling, it's a great way to connect with your audience and to connect with your team.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna talk all about that today.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a manager, if you're getting ready to do something, uh stay tuned with the leader mentality show because we got some great stuff today, right?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I I'm pumped for it.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly I I love to tell stories.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know you do as well.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what we're gonna talk about is how the stories we tell can help us to be better leaders and making sure that our stories have purpose and making sure there's you know a reason behind the stories that we're telling and and how to tell better stories and you know, not just tell stories for shiggles.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well for a reason.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just telling like stories that have no point.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: That is not good.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I appreciate I appreciate that you're saying that.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've done many um business meetings over the years.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I I believe I always tell my teams, uh, meetings must have two things.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: It must have a time frame and a purpose.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: I believe devoid of either of those, you're not gonna hit your mark.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't have a time frame, sometimes you're you're just sitting there droning on forever and people lose the point.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have no purpose, it's like there's better things we could be doing.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: You might as well not have a meeting if you don't have a purpose.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And and so so I'm so now we talk about where are we applying this?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as a leadership tool, if I'm trying to make a point to my team, I'll usually start off indeed with a story.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I will tell a story, and then when you got them all engulfed and you know, kind of encapsulated in that story of whatever you want to say, then I I break out the reason I told that story.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and I and I can give examples of that all day.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: But why does this work so well, Nick?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the reason stories work really well for us as humans is because if it's a good story, it's something where you can see yourself in it.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's relatable.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's gives meaning to an idea, it takes, you know, a practice that you're trying to improve, it takes the tactic or the you know the the piece of information that you need to convey and doesn't just say, here's the information.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: It shows them why it matters, it gives them feeling behind it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: It truly is, you know, it's it's when you think about it even just as kids, like that's how we we learn best.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it's just how people, you know, it's the easiest way to connect with people, and it's an easy way to help people feel connected to whatever it is you're trying to teach them or get them to do.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I believe that what happens is is that and there there's great books on this.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, Dale Carnegie's a great resource when you're talking about you know telling a story and connecting it.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, one of the things I learned from reading Dill Carnegie books, you know, how to influence others and make friends or whatever then, um, I I think that you he'll talk about how a lot of people like to talk about themselves.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason people like to talk about themselves is it's relatable and you understand it.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: So when you tell a story, if you can tell one that somebody'd say, Ah, yes, I I feel that, or even I experienced that, it goes a long way.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you an example.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, the other day I'm meeting with my team and and I was telling the story about Wally Pip.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard the story?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Wally Pipp, Jo, Joe Domaggio.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and I don't know how much of this is a is a you know, is a wives tale or whatever, but the story goes like this, and this is why I'm telling my team of leaders.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I said, look, you know, that there was a guy named Wally Pip.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: He he played for the New York Yankees years ago.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we're talking many, many years ago, before any of us were born here, probably listen to this podcast.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: But Wally Pip was a player for the team, and uh and infamously the story is that he called out, he said, I have a headache, and he and he couldn't play the game he played.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I a young man was given his opportunity to play in that position.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: His name was Joe DiMaggio.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I don't know if you ever heard of Wally Pipp, but if you've ever heard anything about baseball, you've probably heard of Joe DiMaggio, one of the most famous players of all time.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: The he's still the the 56-game hit streak.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, he's still got that that record all these years later.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the point I was trying to make to the team as I'm telling the story about this guy decides to take off a day, another guy gets his opportunity and becomes a Hall of Fame legendary baseball player.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the story was was that, you know, look, you got to be your best every day.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: You you've always got to be ready to seize the opportunity.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And when you think you're having a hard day and you're ready to give up, just remember that you may open up the door for somebody else to come shine.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: The point of the story was not, hey, don't come, you know, don't take off the work if you're sick.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: The point was you're fired if you don't show up.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna replace you with drug addictions.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm waiting for Joe.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: He's in he's in the bullpen for it.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: But no, but but so that's the point.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: But when you tell the story, instead of me just being like, hey guys, you gotta show up to work and and you know, don't just look to call out every time something happens, the point is exactly it wasn't even really about sickness.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: The point was about give your best every day.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, yeah.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I think what you're even talking about and sharing that story and why you know why it works for for what you're trying to do, is that you have to remember that every person is constantly in their own head, whether they say it out loud, we're all tuned into the radio station of W I I F M.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's what's in it for me.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: W-I-I-F-M.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm listening to your story and I'm like tuned into this, but I'm also still thinking in the back of my mind, like, okay, like what what's the point of it?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: How does this relate to me?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, one thing I would say, just as a tip for anyone that's telling stories, because there are stories that you can read about, and I'm sure you did this with the story, but but at the end of the day, you have to end the story, and then you said tell them why you're telling it.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: I like to say the tip is at the end of the story, say, okay, so now what?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what people are asking.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: They hear the story and they're like, okay, so now what?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do I do now?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So part of the story as a tool is you have to kind of lead people to that.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can't just tell the story and expect, like, okay, everyone knows this is why I said this.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yeah, yeah.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: You have to tell them why.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the phrase for me is that's like, okay, so now that I've told you that, let's talk about what we're gonna do with it.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's the okay, so now what?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh because if you don't, you just told a great story and everyone's like, okay, cool, I never knew about Wally Pitt.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, no, you're you're right.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think that part of the challenge here, Nick, is that when I say storytelling is a great leadership tool, but nothing said you're a great storyteller in the first place.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is an issue, right?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I if I told that story with no flair, no drama, I I think at some point they're like, you know, if I'm like, hey, you know, there's this this what this guy isn't Wally Pet.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, you you have to have some passion about what you're telling.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now that's a whole other thing.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: We're not in our and our story today is our show is not how to become a better storyteller.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's about using storytelling as a leadership tool.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I do believe that we're gonna start talking about unpacking that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: What are we saying?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, first of all, it has to be a relevant topic.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um it has to be something that people can relate with, has to have a direction that we're talking about.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: What where are we going with this story?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I can unfortunately or fortunately, I could give story, you know, examples of this throughout this entire show we were doing.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I challenge people to do that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, so what's the first step to you in uncovering something that you need to tell a story about?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I would tell people to do is you have to look for the stories.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna use storytelling as a leadership tool, is you constantly have to be, and it goes back to some of our previous shows about you know being curious and actively listening.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm hearing things and when I'm asking questions, I've got a way, gotta have a way to collect those stories.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it's comments that people are leaving on our website or they're responding to our surveys, it's not just they left a comment, but maybe I want to follow up and say, hey, tell me about your experience and hear the story from them.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like what led you to choose us?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: How did we get here?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I have to collect that story.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got to be looking for them.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have to constantly be searching for, looking for, um, and then actually tracking and collecting.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I literally have a phone, uh, a note in my phone that is just a collection of stories.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it can be just funny things that have happened to me that I think, okay, this is something I want to remember and I want to tell this story again.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I might not know why I want to tell it yet in the moment, but if I at least have collected it and said, this was a great experience that one of our customers had, or this is what happened and it didn't go well, if I don't write it down somewhere and say, I want to remember this, then I can actually practice telling it or think about where I'm gonna tell it.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're not looking for it in the first place, yeah, you're gonna go into the meeting or you're gonna have the the interaction with somebody, you're not gonna have a story to tell because you've not been looking for that.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can speak for myself and I can say that the the way I generally do my meetings, and and again, I'm you know, I'm like everybody else.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're just finding the best way to make a delivery method that your people will relate with and understand.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: But I I am, to your point, collecting this data all week long.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: All week long I'm collecting data.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it could be a customer service experience to your point.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: It could just be something where, you know, the other day I saw an accounting thing.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I told a story to my guys the other day.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I said, uh, how much money do you think I spent on gas last year?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now we got a contracting company, Carolina Bay's Holmes, of course, uh, shout out.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: But but I was telling them, how much money do you think I spent in gas last year?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what whatever the guess was, it was way more than anybody thought.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was a lot of money.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know, in the last week, gas has gone up about 40%.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Do you know what that amount will be if we do the same amount of driving this year?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I gave them the number, and that the numbers aren't important here, but the but even that in itself is a bit of a story.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because what I'm doing is that I'm I'm creating something that creates an illusion we can all relate with.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we all have to drive to work every day.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: We know what it feels like to fill up the gas tank.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, So if we spend that much next year, we're gonna spend 40% more, and here's what that number is.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what was the point of the story?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: The point of the story was be efficient in what you do.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Five different businesses when you could have gone to two.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the and the and the exact story, well, like contractors, you'll relate with me.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: The the exact context of the story is I'm entering Lowe's receipts from from a job that we did.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: A one-day job, mind you.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I've got and forth to Lowe's.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, guess guess what?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Seven receipts, seven was the answer.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and I said, I don't know what the number should have been, but seven was too much.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I knew when I go to Lowe's for something on the weekend, I'm not a professional.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right, well, well, right, exactly.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's and and the and this is a product of you're not planning hard enough.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And and the moral of the story was plan harder, be more specific, be more intentional with what you're doing.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you go to the store and you go, I need a ladder, and then you go back and they go, Oh, you know what?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I also need a saw blade, and you go back and oh, you know what, I need a caulk.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the point of the story was let's look at the what how this is affecting the team, how it's affecting performance.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's a huge thing, but it starts with a basic story, right?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: It really does.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, like the actual tangible something for someone to grasp onto and understand like what it looks like to say seven receipts is something that I can see I can get.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lot more, you know, actionable for your team versus just saying, hey, we really need to start being conscious about where we're driving, conserving.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like if you don't give them something to actually think about, okay, then it's like, you know, you told it, but it's so it's both parts of the story.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's the fact that you had a story that was, you know, it had numbers, it was a little bit part of what it was was shocking, right?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So sure shock value story.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Part of what stories can be is they can be really memorable.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you walk away from a, and I'm sure people, you know, if you've ever sat in any type of a class or a presentation, you think, I don't remember anything about what happened in that class, but I remember that teacher told a story about when they got in a car accident.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or I remember when this this presenter spoke about this story, like it's memorable, it it evokes feeling in you, so it's like, oh shoot, like I'm not efficient.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't go back and forth seven times.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, I can see what they can do better with that.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's just so important.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: It it's such a real thing.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and these are some just little things I've learned along the way.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're the expert, you do all the team training.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a guy who's just been tinkering for years, and I've kind of learned what works well for me.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about the story, and when we talk about something that people remember, I agree with you completely.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, for people who do public speaking, I will tell you if your goal is to hit the mark, a lot of times people can remember the story, they will not remember the stat per se.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can tell them a story and a stat that goes with it, they have a much better shot at remembering the stat.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I've found that to your point, if I go into this and I'm just like, hey guys, watch how many times you're going to Lowe's during the day, it really doesn't land like it would.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna do it.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I've learned another thing.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now this is one I will tell you.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've learned that in the art of stereo storytelling to help build leadership and using it as a leadership tool, I have found in any one setting, you can only do it once.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: If I sit here and I just tell story after story after story, they lose their effect too.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: So make a good one that's gonna really hit the topic.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now, let me say this: you can have a lot of backup stories to anecdotally back up that story.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've noticed preachers do this.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever go to church, whatever religion you you you subscribe to, a good story, you know, they'll start off with a story and then they just keep hammering it.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's and that's good, all right?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, but I think a story gives you, if it is truly a relatable, an inspiring, a memorable story, actionable, connects with people, there's lots of ways to unpack it.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you it can be a short story that like drives home one point, but like if I'm giving a presentation and I'm trying to make three points within it, I often think about how do I set my signposts, right?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want to make these, hit these three marks along my way, and I'm gonna have stories, I'm gonna have questions, but the stories I know are going to be the thing that people will remember.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's why we start with them and oftentimes we'll end with them.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what people remember at the end of the day.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: So what you're saying is though, that you'll do you'll have one central topic, but you're telling several stories building to that topic.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so if you're talking about resilience and like, you know, my keynote is embrace the suck, right?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you three things you can do to make that happen.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um but at the same time, I'm gonna tell you stories about how and again, it's it's human.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Stories can't just always be, and this is a a thing to remember too.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just collect the positive stories.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have to collect the stories of the times that you've failed and you've screwed up.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And like, like people want to see themselves as the hero.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are standing there kind of telling, like, I did this amazing thing, and this is then it's like, okay, cool, good for you, man.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to go and sit and listen to someone talk about like their whole lifestyle, unless it's like someone like Oprah that is like everyone knows who they are, people aren't gonna sit in your staff and be like, oh great, Rob, like, but we're not you.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how is that related to me?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: I I agree.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's a fantastic point.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: The best public speakers I've ever heard, they know when to talk about their challenges and their triumphs.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I find that the worst speakers, the ones who are the least relatable, tell stories of of triumph and grandeur.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's seriously, it's hard to get behind a person who's like, well, here's how I became a millionaire, and sure you get my attention, but I'm like, but but then you start telling me about how you're top of your class and all this stuff.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, well, yeah, okay, good.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're not top of the class, you can't be a millionaire.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and man, it doesn't mean you should be like sitting there and like, you know, crap all over yourself and be like, oh, it's really awful at this, and like I'm no good at these things.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you gotta, you know, talk to your strengths and know your strengths.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: But again, if you're not collecting stories, you're missing.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And and the thing is, I don't think that your stories have to be just limited to right what it is that you're doing at work as a leader.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there are a lot of things that we carry over and cross over between life and work between like before nine to five, or before, you know, before you get into the office or after you're going when you're going home.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I think about the time that my seven-year-old asked me in the car, and I may have shared this with you before, so forgive me if I had, but he asked me, you know, Daddy, do you get recess at at work?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: What do you get?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Good question.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's I I wish.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's called going to the bathroom.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I I I asked him, like, you know, why are you asking me this?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, I just want to know like who you get to play with at work, like who's your best friend?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I when he told me that, I immediately was like, I was kind of like floored as a person.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, well, I don't know how to answer that question.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really tough question, buddy.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wrote that down in my phone.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I remember that specifically.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I have used that story in you know, interactions with teams when we're talking about the importance of creating a space where people can feel like they're themselves, and that, you know, we should try and create spaces where people can be friendly.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying I have to be friends with everyone at work, but like, why is it any different for a seven-year-old than it is for me at work?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's valid, yeah.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I think that we all can can try and do that for each other.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, but again, if I didn't collect that story on my phone, I would never be able to go back and tell it.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would have just been a moment in time that I had and I went home and I told my wife.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first time I told a story.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like we all do that.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: We tell stories more than we realize.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, well, you're just sitting at the bar with friends and you're telling a story.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then all of a sudden you get in front of a group and you may and and and all the stories go away and you make it so hard.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and yeah, no, I I I agree with that.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Was there ever a time that you did a presentation and you felt like you didn't hit the mark for storytelling or otherwise?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just curious.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, have you ever left a presentation?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, man, I just I that didn't work out.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can remember exactly where it was and who I gave the presentation to, how many people were in the room, all of it.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like what like what was it?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: The reason was I was not telling stories and presenting information that was relevant to the people that were there.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that my content and what was necessary, which was still valid and valuable, was valid and valuable to everyone.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't adjust my stories, I didn't adjust the points I was making to this group.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was 300 fraternity men at a conference in Massachusetts.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I was still talking to them like I would have been talking to young professionals who were 20 power or 24.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a totally different experience once you're out of college and you're in the real world versus when you're still in school.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I was telling stories, you know, I told stories about my kids and about like, you know, trying to balance and juggle things.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, that's relatable to them.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: They're still balancing and juggling things in school.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: But a 20-year-old who's in a fraternity has a very different experience than a 28-year-old with a kid and working a full-time job trying to balance and juggle things.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the stories were relevant, but just not to them.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I I think that's a fantastic point.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think we have to really know the audience, and and we have to, and it goes back to the relatability, but I had uh I have when I was here's my story of that.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Very similar to what you said, but but even worse in a weird way.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: I do a lot of public speaking, dude.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I like it and I take pride in it, and I do tell stories and I do try to make it interesting, and I talk a lot with my hands and I knock over stuff while I'm talking.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: People get a good laugh out of it.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I will tell you that uh I was asked to come speak to students at one point at a school.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now, now, you know, look, my specialty is talking to you know grown-up, you know, people who are in leadership positions, but I'm like, yeah, I can come and get these kids pumped up.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, so you know, I made the, by the way, I made the incorrect assumption that I was gonna be talking to like juniors and seniors who are ready to graduate high school.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm talking about maximizing your life, right?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: I get in the room, like seriously, I have a PowerPoint and everything.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And these kids are all eight, uh, they're they're like eighth grade and like sixth to eighth grade.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Totally different.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at this room full of kids and I'm like about to tell them how to, you know, build for their future.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you something.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, my my story in my head, I'm I'm already like, man, how am I gonna relate to a bunch of you know kids who I mean I don't know if I related to eighth graders when I was in eighth grade.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, much less now.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, long story short, it was a long presentation, my friend.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're all just like, I just got my first zip Robin right talking about.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the highlight was when I said, when I said, what do you guys want to do for a career?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you something eighth graders, what they want to do.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: For a career?
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Ask them sometime.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Just ask them.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mind it in anything.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: I can only imagine what those.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think 85% of the room were somewhere between athletes and singers, and I was like, wow, that's great, kids.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Let me crush your dreams now, kids.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, there we go.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, listen, let's uh that's a great uh great topic for all.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let's let's kind of summarize a little bit as we come down the pipeline.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: So the whole idea of this is how do you storytelling as a leadership tool for your team or group?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have three topics that we've talked today today that I think are particularly high.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we talked about making it interesting and memorable.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can't tell a story that's not really going to leave a mark with the people.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you can tell something that's memorable, they can take it with them.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and and tell others.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times people tell that great story to other people around them.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: That means you've told a great storytelling story.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Be topic-worthy, which means know your audience.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about don't come in ready to talk to high schoolers when you're talking to middle schoolers, don't come in talking to young professionals when you have a presentation for a seasoned professional.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So know your group and be topic-worthy and be relatable.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you tell a story you can't relate with, there's no purpose in telling the story because you're just gonna talk to a bunch of people who said, like you said, oh well, good for you.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Good for you, Mr.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Speaker.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I like it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so I completely agree with all three of those.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, although maybe I should just disagree and we can have people have tell a story about us just arguing on a pipe.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, there's nothing to disagree with.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right, I was gonna say, right?
• 23:34
  unknown: They're all fantastic.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't agree with all of them.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, three things I would say.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: So one, uh, when you're telling stories as a leadership tool, remember what your goal is as a leader.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: So if your goal as a leader is to leave people better than you found them, if it's to inspire them, then the stories need to do that.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my stories should inspire somebody, they should encourage somebody, um, they should challenge somebody, right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: So to that point, the second thing I would say to anybody who's trying to improve their storytelling is make sure that your story that you're telling at the end of it has a clear call to action or something to do.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I often will say at the end of a story, you know, I hope you took notes, but more importantly, I hope you'll take action.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't want you to just sit here and listen to this story.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's if you told a good story, that would be natural.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I also think you should use your stories if we're using them as a leadership tool to actually challenge people and say, listen, this is my story of failure.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is you know, this is what I told you this story for, and I hope you will go out and fill in the blank, whatever it is you're trying to get them to do.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then the third thing I would say is just practice telling them.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, it sounds so cliche, but the reality is we all tell stories in our lives every single day.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: We all relate to them, we see stories around us.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's on every single reel that you stop and watch on your your phone, it's on YouTube.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like there are constantly the things that draw you in are the stories.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: But those people don't just show up and do it randomly, they've probably practiced that multiple times, or they've you know edited it a bunch of times to make it sound good.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: But in real life, you can't edit it.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have practiced it.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know you want to tell the story, tell it to your partner at home, tell it to your kid before you have to tell it at work, tell it to you know your best friend and say, I experienced this and I want to share with my team.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Can I practice telling you this story once before I have to share it?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's we all tell stories all the time, and you don't think about it in a way of I'm telling this to you as my friend, you know, on the soccer field while my kid's practicing, I'm telling you this story from work, but I'm telling it to you, and even if I don't say it to you, I'm still thinking about I'm telling you this story so that I can be better when I need to tell it for a leadership purpose.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Gotcha.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: So practice.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: I I uh I I will tell you and this this is not a disagreement, but it is it is something I will say.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like personally, now you can't you all have to know yourself.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't think you can apply everything we're saying.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like to practice a story before I tell it.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I want to, I know generally what I want to talk about.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: I tell a story better the first time I tell it.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: I 100% of the time, um, if I practice it, it comes off rehearsed and can.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is knowing yourself.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like, and and I will tell you, you know, that there's been times where I've over-rehearsed a story, and I heard this from a public speaker.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: And by what by the way, what what I think you're saying is there there some people do better work when they practice the heck out of it.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: Some people do better work on the fly.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is almost getting into personality styles.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I have uh heard public speakers say, you know, the first three or four times I told the story, it crushed.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they said then the fifth time I told the story, the crowd didn't even like bat an eye at it.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you lose a little zest sometimes as you're doing it.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I I agree.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I agree.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's almost like an element of what you're saying.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think that you have to know when and you have to know, again, your audience is a part of that too.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I also think you know, if you're just even if you're just like telling the story, not like if you're not practicing it, so to speak, tell it more than once.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like it's me.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, like I'm not watching myself in the mirror, but I'm still gonna tell another person because after I tell and then also with it, like I think if you have to tell a story more than once, like for me as a speaker, I think about if I'm gonna tell this to multiple teams, I'm gonna find ways to make it more impactful.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say, okay, well, I could have put it, I could have said that, that would have been funny there.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why didn't I say that?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's fair.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I get you're notes and critique it.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're kind of like like tweaking a little bit.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: I do a lot of one-off storytelling.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: I will I will grant you that.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: I do a lot of one-off uh presentations, you're usually customized for the crowd.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: You probably have also told some stories multiple times.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like you never like that story, like the story that happened to you when you were like 23 years old, and this like major thing happened.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: You've probably told multiple, you know, things like that that you think I have this thing that happened to me 10 years ago, and I could use it to relate to my team.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've told that before.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell that story.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, it's like something from the past that's easier than like, uh, this thing just happened yesterday.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't tell it.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's fair, that's fair.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, and it's like like I said, I'm not really contradicting your point.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm I'm adding an element to, you know, I think that everybody has a strong suit, and I really think you have to be yourself, you know.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: A C type, look, there's different personality types out there, and we we and you know, this is a whole other show, so I don't want to get too deep in it, but you have some personalities who um I think of the valedictorian of the school.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: They're the one who like they practice and they memorize and they do all these things and and they and they make it so crisp, and then you got maybe like the person who's like the team leader of the football team.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's not coming out like next I'm gonna tell the guys, go get uh motivated.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: They kind of come out and they fire it, you know.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes you have to have that spirit.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: But I will say this, and and we got like five, five, five, five minutes left, uh probably even less.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna I'm gonna wrap with this.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you said something about encouraging.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: One thing I I do challenge the leaders in as we wrap up the leader mentality show, maybe like a final thought for today.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever you're doing with your storytelling, whatever you're doing in your leadership role, try to be encouraging.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Now, to me, in leadership, the E in leadership is encouraging, the first E in leadership.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: You have to be encouraging.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Don't misunderstand what encouragement is.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Encouragement isn't always, hey, you did a great job even when they didn't.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Encouragement means telling somebody that they can be better.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever they're doing, it is uh, hey, keep going, keep trying, hey, you can do better than that.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: Encouragement doesn't have to always be just the the positive.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: It can actually be, as you said, it can be something that is teaching them something, taking a negative situation and saying you can do better.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that aspect of it, right?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was that was a you're you're spot on.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wish more leaders were encouraging.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Some may leaders try to just control and like push people to where they need.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not easy to do if I don't feel encouraged and empowered, right?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I think you know, you can tell stories, you know, just like encouraging, I would say tell stories that are also empowering.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like help people feel powerful.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can tell them a story that makes them go, I can do that same thing.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: I got this.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's what we want.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: I dig it, I dig it.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, everybody, good good topics for today.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys have topics, if you're sitting at home, you listen to the show, we want to hear from you.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, sometimes we're on here and we're we're talking and we're coming up with ideas and and we have what we think are interesting talking points to us, but you know, there might be somebody listening to the screen right now and saying, hey, here's what I do for my team.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hear from you guys.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: Go to our social media, we're on Facebook, we're on Instagram, go to the Leader Mentality Show.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: But let us hear from you.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always interested.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, even go to mentalityleader at gmail.com.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about a topic you'd like to hear about because, hey, look, as much as we know, we don't know everything, Nick.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, we don't.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I think my wife told me earlier.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but my wife tells me daily, too.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: What is going on anyway?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, but no, but uh, we do thank you guys for listening.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you to our sponsors, Carolina Bay's Holmes, for the continued support.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, as always, a shout out to McLeod, where they they allow us to use this guy sometimes in his uh day to day.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so we appreciate the hospital system.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: But we'll see you all next time on the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens.