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How to Embrace a New Dream ... and Let Go of the Old One · The Daily Writer

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, we're closing in on the end of 2018 and getting ready to head into 2019.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: How much thought have you given to your hopes, dreams, and goals for this coming year?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're satisfied with your life as it currently exists, it's a great time to think about how to change it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's what today's episode is all about.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, welcome to the Born to Create podcast.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Kent Sanders, and I'm an author and professor.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is the show where we explore the mindset, habits, and principles to help you make a bigger impact in your life and creative work.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: A number of years ago, the country group Rascal Flats released a song called These Days.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: The song tells the story of a guy in a small town who accidentally runs into an old flame.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: She has since moved on with her life, but he can't stop dreaming about her.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: In verse one he says, Yeah, life throws you curves, but you learned to swerve.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Me, I swung and I missed, and the next thing you know, I'm reminiscing.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Dreaming old dreams, wishing old wishes, like you would be back again.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So the guy in the song has put his life on hold because he's still pining for this old flame.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Since there's no indication that she shares his feelings, he's forever going to be stuck in a time loop, wishing for a dream that will never become a reality.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this same thing can also be true in our creative lives.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: There are times when we want to embrace a new dream, but it's impossible to move toward a new dream while we're still clinging to an old dream.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do you know the difference between an old dream and a new dream?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here are six really simple guidelines.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Simple to understand, but maybe not simple to put into practice, but here they are nonetheless.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, an old dream represents something that will probably never happen.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: A new dream represents something that is possible.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now that doesn't mean the dream is easy, it just means that it's possible.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, an old dream is rooted in the past, but a new dream pulls you into the future.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, an old dream is familiar and comfortable.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: A new dream is fresh and exciting.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, an old dream distracts you from your current goals.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: A new dream pulls you toward your current goals.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, an old dream brings negative energy into your life because it represents a loss.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: A new dream brings positive energy into your life because it represents abundance.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, an old dream is all about something passively happening to you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, you say, I wish this would happen to me.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: But a new dream is all about you taking action to achieve something.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So if old dreams are so bad, why do we hang on to them?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that we cling to old dreams because they're comfortable.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: They give us a sense of emotional security.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: We have fed them, nurtured them, journaled about them, talked about them, worried and stressed about them, and generally given those old dreams lots and lots of attention.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, and as I grew older and became more mature, I no longer needed the security that the imaginary friend provided.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to old dreams, sometimes we hang on to them well into adulthood, way past our physical maturity time.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we just cling to those as we become physically mature, but we can't let go of those because we haven't become as emotionally mature as we possibly can be.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to fully embrace a new dream for your life, you have to first let go of the old one.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can only receive what God has for you with an open hand.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: If your fists are clenched because you're holding on to an old dream, you can't receive what God has for you.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So here are three actions you can take to help you let go of an old dream.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, let the old dream die.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's a certain dream I've been holding on to for about twenty years or so, and it has nothing to do with my job as a college professor or anything like that.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: But over the last couple of years, I've come to realize three really important things about that old dream that I have been hanging on to for a long time.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, the dream is probably never going to happen.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, the dream is no longer relevant to my life.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even really want it to happen, but I'm having trouble letting go of it, to be honest with you, a little bit.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, my emotional attachment to this dream has been dragging me down for a long time.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when an old dream is no longer serving our current or our future goals, we have to let it go.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard and it's painful, but it's necessary for our growth as leaders, as artists, as parents, and just as people who want to contribute in a positive way to society in general.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: But you know it's interesting, the last few months I've had a much easier time letting go of this dream, and I think I've mostly moved past it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess it's just been a process of thinking through you know, this dream is not really something I want.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've just been so emotionally attached to it for so long that I just sort of clung to it.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: But even writing this post and doing this uh podcast episode is making me just kind of be able to let go of it a little bit more.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if you're a writer, sometimes just writing about things and talking about them and thinking through the logic of those old dreams can help you see that, well, they weren't so rational or logical after all.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's much easier to let go of those things once we see that they're really not benefiting us in some way.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, stop driving by your old dreams.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Brad Paisley has a great song called Pressing on a Bruise.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I've I've referenced Rascal Flats and Brad Paisley both in this post.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do like country music.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I also like all of tons of other styles of music, but I do particularly like those two country artists.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Brad Paisley's song, Pressing on a Bruise, is all about our tendency to keep poking at an old wound.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the narrator in the song is mourning a lost relationship, and he says, I could start a new life, I could move on, I could do a drive-by and see if you're home.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the idea there is that the narrator who's pining for this lost love, keeps driving by the house where his dream, his the girl that he loves, still lives, but that dream is dead, yet he still keeps driving by it.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever spent hours journaling or talking to others about your old dream?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to devote hours to wondering why that dream hasn't happened or trying to figure out what went wrong.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And in essence, that is quote unquote driving by your old dream.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: You we keep visiting it even though we realize it's not good for us and it's not going to happen.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever spent time on Facebook stalking people who are connected to the old dream?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe checking up on them, wondering why something happened to them and why it didn't happen to you?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are you having trouble moving on?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because we keep driving by the old dream just to see what's going on there.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to encourage you to let go of the dream, stop driving by, and instead of circling around the house of the dream that's never going to happen, let's drive somewhere new.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's circle around the house where our new dream is going to live.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, actively work on the new dream.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to write a book?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to make a transition into a new career or field?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to learn to paint?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to start a business?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: If so, you have to do the work to make your dream happen.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Dreams are like plants.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: They have to be fed and nurtured.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the way we feed and nurture them is by doing the consistent work that will bring success, not by just dreaming about it or wishing about it or hoping that something magically happens, but by consistently doing the work that's required to make that dream a reality.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it can be hard to find the time and the emotional energy to work on our dreams.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you look in the show notes, I've got several resources for you there.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to list all those out here because uh it's not going to do you any good to, you know, you can't include a hyperlink in a in a podcast episode.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So just go to the show notes for this episode and you'll find those resources there.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Then finally, number four, surround yourself with people who will pull you toward the new dream.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: What would happen if you love coffee but you are surrounded by people who can't stand coffee?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you'll soon feel bad about loving coffee.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: On the other hand, if you hang around coffee people, that's going to fuel your passion and grow your expertise for that thing that you love, which is coffee.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I love coffee as well, by the way.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do love coffee, you're in good company with me.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever your dream is, you must find your peeps.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure why I even use that word peeps.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm 44 years old, I'm probably past the age where I should be using the word peeps, but it was in the blog post, so I just kept it in.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that being said, whatever your dream is, you must find your peeps who are passionate about the same thing and have a similar perspective on life as you do.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: The synergy of ideas and the community will help you go further and faster than you could possibly ever go on your own.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Every Monday morning I meet with a mastermind group online, and these are three other guys who are a key part of my support network as I work on my writing and my life goals.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: I also have a couple of great friends who are writers who I talk with on a regular basis.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a part of Dan Miller's 48 Days Eagles community.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's on Facebook.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is a paid group, but man, that is just about the best money that I spend every month because the contact in there, the community building, the support, the encouragement has been it really has become a vital part of my creative life over the last year or so.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've heard it said that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Who are these five people in your life and are they taking you in the direction that you want to go?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: When I was a kid, my grandfather would sometimes recruit me to help me prune his apple trees.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned at a young age that you have to take away some unnecessary limbs so the whole tree can be healthy.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: At the time it feels like you're cutting things off that are actually good, but in the long run, you have to prune the trees if you want them to be as healthy as they can possibly be.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's the same thing with our dreams.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to let go of a dream that we've nurtured for a long time.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to let it go because, well, it's just become part of us.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to prune those dreams away from us, even when we know that they're dead and they're never going to be alive.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: But that's a key part of the process of stepping into a new dream and becoming fully awake to the great things God wants to bring to life through your creative powers.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, my question for you is have you ever had to let go of an old dream so you could fully pursue a new one?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can join the conversation and find the post and the links that accompany this episode at KentSanders.net slash embrace.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, friends, that wraps up this episode.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can do that by visiting KentSanders.net slash iTunes.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you enjoyed this episode, please think about sharing it with a friend or a family member who you think would enjoy it as well.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can find lots more resources to help you unlock your creative potential at KentSanders.net.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, remember that you were born to create and designs to make a difference.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now go create something awesome.