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Transcript

God Didn't Keep Me Hear To Be A Weak B*cth · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right. And we're back.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: We back.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I know y'all miss some Will and blonde niggas.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: You know they do.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: But we back to give the people what they want. Yeah.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: We got to get back in motion.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but... We're back.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: You know, we.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Just had to finish the summer off. I, you know...
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Mentally this summer, like I just literally, I barely did
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: shit this summer. I literally smoked.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Me neither.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I smoked myself out.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't do that.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: No, I did. I realized I was going through something
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: because it made 15 years in a chair. I didn't
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: even know subconsciously. I didn't know subconsciously that I was like,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: like sometimes you don't know you're in depression because I'm
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: a high function person. So when you're high function, sometimes
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: you don't know you're depressed because I just kept doing things.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: But I tried to, like, smoke and distract myself of
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: what was really the problem. And what was the issue was,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: like I said, it made the same amount of years
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: walking as being in a chair. So that was, like,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: a big moment for me. It was like, damn. So
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I literally, you know, it's like one more year and
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: it's like, damn, I have more years. Yeah, so that
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: shit kind of mentally fucked me up. Oh, I'm good.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I'm in a great space. I feel like myself. I
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: haven't smoked. It'll be two months. I'll be two months
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: clean off of marijuana in, like, two weeks.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Wait, Tommy, do you think the weed do it to you?
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, weed is not for everybody.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because my sister called crying. I'm like, what are
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: you crying for? She's like, I don't know, but she
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: was high.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the weed. And this is not the weed we
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: used to have back in the day. You know what
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? A lot of this shit is.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Sprayed on, stepped on. So much chemicals and shit on
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: this shit.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and in this culture with the graba, because I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: only like graba.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck what type of grub. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: was smoking grub. Like, I love grub. Like, my weed
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: would probably be, like, 60% grub.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: You'd be having grub.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: 40% weed. You'd be having wax in it. Oh, no,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I don't do all that extra shit.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: All different types of shit.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: That's why I was just, like, I knew for a fact, like,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: all right, this is time to stop. And, like I said,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I stopped, got things back in, you know, back on track,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: and I'm feeling good, feeling great.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Shout out to you.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I've been around the world. I've been feeling good lately.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie. Well, you look good.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: You look in shape and shit.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I say for these past two months, I really realized something.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I'm really blind. Yo, I did not know how blind
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I really was. Now it's like you're teaching me. I'm
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: learning new things on the phone, like the voiceover. I
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: hated it before.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Well, the people don't know what you've been doing. What
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: have you been doing?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, I signed back up to the Helen Kelly, you know.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So what is that?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: It's a school for the blind. And the crazy thing
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: about it, I walked in and what gave me motivation,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I seen five, six-year-olds going to the school and they
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: using a stick. I mean, let me not say stick
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: because they keep saying that's not a stick. They long
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: cane and I'm just looking. I'm just like.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: That's what they call it?
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a long cane. They told me to stop
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: calling it a stick. Every time I say stick, they
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: be like, what is it?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: What is it? I'm like, all right, come on, bro.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: We not in school. But just seeing them going in
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: the doors and they just laughing and they jolly. And
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm holding on to somebody walking into this door.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: I said, I ain't doing it no more. So now,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: this is my new stick called Cece. Cece, me and
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Cece outside.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Why you call her Cece?
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Because she see everything I can't see. That is so cute.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: So me and her outside. So it's like, I got
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: apps on my phone, teach me how to cross the street.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: It's annoying, but after a while, you get used to it. Like,
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: he turned the accessible, the voiceover on for me. I said,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I hate this shit. But now I can't find myself.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: You're used to Siri.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, now I can't find myself using Siri.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: So which one do you prefer? Which one do you
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: think is more easy?
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Siri is cool, but Siri got limits to it.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: The voiceover is no limits. I can do whatever I want.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Like what? All over. Like, I can really take pictures
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: of myself. I can record myself. I don't need nobody
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: to do it. And the voiceover is telling you when
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: you center, when the picture is perfect, everything is like,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I could, like, with the new updates, Siri was outdated.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I could go on any website I want to go on.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I could press it. I don't got to wait till
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: somebody come to play a voice note. Read your messages. Like,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: voice notes, when you playing it, it'll play. But if
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: it's too long, it'll cut off. Now you got to
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: wait for somebody to press it. Now I can press
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: that shit myself. I press videos myself. I'm like, I
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: like this voiceover shit. It ain't as bad. People hate
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: it around me because I be on the phone and
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I be on voiceover. They were like, all right, just
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: call me back when you finish playing with it. It's like,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: why y'all leaving now? But I honestly said, I really
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: feel blind. And I love it, though.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Well, it sounds to me that you finally are starting
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to accept.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Nah, I accept it all the way. Like, I accepted
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: it before, but now fully, fully, it's like, now I
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: want to walk with the stick. And it's like, now
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: the only thing I got to get into is, like,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: golf a bit, stepping and shit. Okay. But other than that,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. I go in
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: hell and heaven by myself, come out by myself. They're like, oh,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: you got it. I got it. Like, I don't need
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: no help.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: So what made you decide to go to the blind school?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Just one day I'm just laying in the house and
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I just wasn't happy. It's like I felt like my
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: life was limited, like waiting on somebody to do something.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Like I asked two people to do something for me
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: and it's like it was a brush off. Hold on,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I got you. And it's like, I can't keep living
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: like this.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You want to do things on your team.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I ain't saying I got quiet and then
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: they left. No, I'm saying they were doing it. on purpose,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: but other people are busy and I don't want to
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: put that on anybody else.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It's not their fault.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: We're not giving it to anybody. Just so happened, Commissioner
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: of the Blind, Vice President, she calls me. She said,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: you know, I know we talked in February, but what
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: was your issue again? And we started talking and all that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: She's like, did you get the proper services? I'm like, no. So, yo,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: can you come in next month? I'm like, yeah. Went in.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: We sat down. We had a conversation and everything. She
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: was like, just give me three months. Just trust me.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I got you. And then from there, I
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: never looked back. So now they're giving me the best
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: of the best. Where I'm at right now, like the
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: stage I'm at, I'm not supposed to be, because I
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: had mobility, so I know how to move and travel
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: and cross the streets and everything. But now they're seeing it,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: they're like, all right, let's move to the next thing.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Apps I got on my phone, I wasn't even supposed
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: to have yet. They downloaded it, like, I feel you ready.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: So it's like a smooth sailing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm typing. You're more of it because you've been
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: doing it. You've been blind. The reason why, you've been
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: blind for 14 years. 14 years. So it's like, whereas
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: others are starting from young, you're starting from now. So
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: it's like going to be things that other people know better,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: but then it's also things that you know better because
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: you self-torture.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I see them kids going, do, do, do, do, typing
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: and all. I said, damn, I ain't like that yet.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to get there, though. They just typing
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: and sending in. I'm like, yo, they really arguing through
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: the text messages. That's great.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So is it like they have touch tone for you guys, right?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So you can feel like which letters.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Talk about on the keyboard.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let me see. Let's show them.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: You talk about like on the computer?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Like when you're texting on your phone. Oh, yeah.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Let me show you. Open messages. So one, two, three.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Voice over on messages.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Bella.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Five. Eight. Zero.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Katera.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, Glenn, but now is he?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: This is our group chat.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Frenchie, I'ma go get something to eat. He's like a
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: fat ass. Message. I message. Messages. Message. I message. Text field.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: All right. Double text.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Message. Text field.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: You could do it too.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: See? Messages.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Wolf. Wolf.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Cap. Cap. F. Don't expose. We ain't cutting it out.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: See? See?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, so it tells you.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so like you could spread your hand or you
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: could just spread it over. It's an E. Q-W-E-R-T-Y. And
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: it's U-I-O-P-A-S-D-F.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So you're basically just sliding.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: You can slide or you can... The more advanced ones
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: just be moving like this.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So what advice would you have for people that are
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: like you that didn't really want to go to do
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: it and stuff? Would you tell them this is something
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: that they should try?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I would say they're slowing up their process.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Right. They're limiting themselves.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's making it even more harder because now when...
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like if I would have learned this 14
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: years ago, I'd be a super problem.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Super problem. So it's like don't... Don't stop your growth.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Don't stop your process.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: So today, I wanted to talk about, number one, mental health.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: And being that it's disability, today we're fucked up because
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: it's the disability parade right now.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Yo, disability parade.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: We wish we could be there, but we have to
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: sit there and preach to the people. So everybody that's
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: at the disability parade, everybody that fought for human rights,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: for disabilities, you know, for disabilities, any disability advocate, Thank
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: you so much for the work that you're doing. Thank
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you for putting yourselves out there. Thank you for not
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: being afraid of what the world thinks about you and
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: loving yourself regardless of your situation because you are worthy
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: of love. You're important. You is smart. You is kind.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: You're great. It is blind appreciation month, too. No, blind
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: awareness month. This is our month right here.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Blind awareness, my brother.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: White cane month and all that. Like, this is our
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: month right here, too.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: It's also, it's a lot of months because it's breast cancer.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Domestic violence.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Domestic violence awareness. So anybody that had to fight those battles,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: you know, shout out.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: To them as well. I'm hard with y'all. Yeah, exactly.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But a young lady reached out to me this morning.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what? This is what we're
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: going to talk about today. So she wrote me... I
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: need my phone. Wolf, can you pass it to me?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie, yo. I mean, when people hear
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: that we're in the next episode, when y'all dropping, y'all quit?
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Y'all not doing it no more?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: What happened? Oh, no. We just was waiting on the
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: studio shit. We switched.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: That's it. Now we back like crack, you know?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Our studio got, they bought the building out.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: So we in a new studio.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: We're still with WTF because WTF has a lot of locations.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: So if you're looking for a studio to record at,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: definitely check out WTF Musicians. But we had to wait.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: That was our favorite location, too. We were so used
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: to it. We've been there for years.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: That was like our second home.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, five years doing our shit.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Second home. Really like that.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: It definitely... getting up and.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Down the stairs by myself and I gotta learn a
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: whole new building.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: So she wrote me and she said hi she said
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: her name but I'll leave that you know anonymous I
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: recently became paraplegic due to a car accident I want
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: to get some advice I see your page and how
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: happy you are I'm still battling with the old me
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: so it becomes depressing my question for you is have
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: you experienced this if so how long does it last
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I want to get to the part where I'm happy
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: and can move on with life and the things I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: still haven't done yet okay so I wrote back to
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: her privately, but I also told her, you know, this
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: is something where it really, happiness is a choice. You
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: get what I'm saying? You have to choose whether or
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: not you want to sit in your misery or choose
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: to be happy. And that's for anybody, whether you have
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a disability or whether you don't, there's people that struggle
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: with happiness and they have all of their physical capabilities.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: They have all the money in the world. They have family, cars, money,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: and they're still not happy. So it's really just a choice.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: So for me, um, I literally, when I woke up
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: in the hospital, like, of course you still have those
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: feelings of sadness. I'm not going to act like I
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: just woke up and whoop-de-fucking-do. You know what I'm saying?
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: It took time.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: It took time, but it's also, it's not like a,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: this is a grief. You're literally grieving your old self.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? You're going to always have
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: those moments where it's like, you could be good for
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: a long stretch period of time, but then the next
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: thing you know, it's like, damn, like, how the fuck
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: did I get in a wheelchair? Or how the fuck
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: did I get blind? You know what I mean?
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It's like that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: It's been 14 years and I'm still, still.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Come across grief like I still come across depression exactly.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: So you can't say it's no time limit on this
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: shit because you're gonna have your days with anything like
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: for me like I said I've been in this chair
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: 15 years I've been fine I was fine this whole
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: year this was actually like a really fucking good year
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: for me I got married like I'm going back to
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: school there's so many good things that's happening about to
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: get my license you know what I mean so for
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: all these things that's happening this one little thing almost
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: made me forget about all the good things that God
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: has done for me my son is in second grade
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: he's doing great He's on his reading level. He's doing
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: what he's supposed to do in school. I'm raising an
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: outstanding young man.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Shout out to the king.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I have a good family unit. I have my mom
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: still alive. My dad's still alive. We don't understand how
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: much of an underrated blessing that is to still have
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: your family members and your loved ones alive, to still
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: be healthy, even though we may have these physical adversities.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Other than that, we're healthy, besides my blood pressure.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: But most important, you are alive.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: We look past that. I wake up some days... I mean,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: the world is darker than my blindness, like, honestly speaking.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: But it's like, you got to motivate yourself. Like, I
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: go in the mirror every morning. I motivate myself. I
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: don't wait for nobody to call me and tell me
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I'm doing something. Like, I just did a video of
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: me just standing in the mirror, and I'm telling myself
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: how powerful and great I am, even though I can't
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: see myself. It's like, I'm not waiting for somebody to
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: push the button and say, okay, you could be happy today.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing that.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Because if you judge yourself based on what the world
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: will look at you as, You'll always be weak because
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: when they see us, when they see anybody with a disability,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: they're like, oh, well, I don't know how they do it.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: How can this, you know what I'm saying? Like people
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: feel sorry for us. So you don't need to be
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: another person feeling sorry for yourself. The world is already
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: going to do that for you.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: You have to make sure that you tell yourself, like, look,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: this is my situation now. I never chose this. But
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: you have to get comfortable in it because what are
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: you going to do? Lay down and die. I literally
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: experienced the most traumatic thing a couple of weeks ago.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: My building, somebody jumped off my building and killed himself.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Goddamn.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: A young boy killed himself on top of my building,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: and I witnessed the whole thing. Like, I seen it
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: with my own two eyes. I sat there. I was
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: praying over him, and I was just praying he did
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: not do it while the whole world is sitting out
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: there with their cameras out, everybody just recording as if
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: this young man doesn't have loved ones and family that
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: have to find out this way, which was traumatic.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, mental health is real.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: It's real.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: So if you allow yourself to get in your head
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and you stay in your head and you know that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: you're already having negative thoughts, You might not want to
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: be here one day and you might follow through with
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: those thoughts. So it's important that you pull yourself out
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: of those dark moments because it might not ever be
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: anybody to come and save you. For me, I have God.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: So whenever I get in those spaces and I'm feeling
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: down and I'm feeling all myself, I remember God didn't
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: fucking keep me here to be no weak ass bitch.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: The fuck he saved me here to be another motherfucker
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that's sitting here moping like, whoa, it's me. Nah, he
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: kept me here because 50 Cent said that shit. And
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I always tell you, he said, and it's clear that
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I'm here for a real reason. Because he got hit
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: like I got hit and he ain't fucking breathing. So
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: when there's people that lose their lives every day that
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: still wanted to live, how dare I be ungrateful for
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: the gift that God gave me, which is another chance
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: at life. I could have been dead at 15, but instead.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I'm here at 30. Grab me by your motherfucking hands. Yeah,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: grab me by the wheels. Grab me your ass. Where
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: the hell do you think you going?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But this is what I'm saying. So it's important to
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: also have people that speak life into you. It's important
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: to have people that don't pity you. It's important to
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: have those people that are still going to treat you
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: like you're regular. For me, I had my family. They
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: didn't let this, they said, what, bitch? You're still going
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: to wash the dishes? You're still going to clean your room?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: You're still going to do that? Like, I had to
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: wash my own ass. I ain't have nobody doing that
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: for me. You get what I'm saying? I had to
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: change myself. I had to do everything by myself. And
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: when you get to that point, when you're ready to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: start doing things on your own, you will. I started
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: taking pictures of myself in the chair as soon as
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I got home because I'm not going to let anybody
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: think I'm ducking from my situation.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: It's still beautiful.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is still my throne. So at the end
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: of the day, if you are in a wheelchair, if
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: you are newly injured, look at that shit as a throne.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Look at yourself as a queen or a king. Don't
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: allow anybody to displace you off the place that God
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: puts you in, and he puts you in a high place, okay?
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: The fact that you're still here is a blessing enough.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And if that's not enough for you, then I don't
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: know what to tell you, because me personally, there's no
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: bigger gift than life.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Then another thing, too, is start running away from your problems.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Seek help. There's nothing wrong with going to get a therapist. Like,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I see a therapist every Thursday still.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Me too.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Like, I just signed up to a therapist because I
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: felt like my problems was bottled up and it's like,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like nobody can understand. Instead of me talking
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: to my sisters or talking to a friend that's going
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: to talk back at me, I'd rather talk to somebody
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: that's just going to sit there and don't know me
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: and that's just going to listen.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And they're not biased.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes I don't need a response. Sometimes I just
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: need somebody just to listen to me.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: To hear you.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: So it's like, and then I get a lot out
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: on the table and it's like, okay. And at the end,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: she's like, maybe you just need to try it. And
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I got a black queen. It's like, I'm not looking
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: for a man to say, oh, I want to talk
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: to a man because the man understand me. I got
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: a black queen and she just sit there. She just listen.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: She give me the best fight. Won't you just try this?
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: I start doing it. I start talking to her. That's
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: why I end up going back to my services, getting
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: my services back. So it's like, stop running away from
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: your problem and face it. Go seek a therapist. Like,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: listen to music, draw, write, do something. Just don't feel
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: like you at that edge and you need to jump.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: And therapy is not always a. All the time thing
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: because I took a break from my therapist this summer
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: because I felt like, I'm like, you know what? I'm
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: good right now. But it's crazy that as soon as
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: I took that little break, it just happened to be
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: the fucking most traumatic summer of my life. Not most traumatic,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: but you know, I was just in a dark place
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: and did not even know. So now it's like, okay,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going back to therapy and I'm in a good space,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: but it's still okay to talk to people even when
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: you're in that good space.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: And I forgot to have the right to feel like
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: that because every time April 21st come around, that's like
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: my darkest moments.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Because that's the day.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: That's the day I got shot because it plays in
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: your head. Like, what could you do different? Did you
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: have to be there? Why did you have it? But
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I don't question myself because it's like, I feel like
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: God put me there for a reason to be who
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I am today.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: How do you deal with, because we both, you was
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: at a party before you got, right?
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I came out the party.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: So for both of us, we both got. shot because
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: of parties and stuff still in the club you're a
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: party promoter yeah we was just in the club together
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: and didn't even know but you you're still a party
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: but how did you get back into your how did
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you decide you wanted to be a party promoter even
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: though that that situation happened.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I got I got shot when I got shot like
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: a month later I was in a club but it
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: was like I'm what was that experience like it was
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: just I was paranoid Okay.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: So walk us through that.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I'm in a club, but I'm in a club with
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: my aunt. I'm in a club with my cousin. I
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: look at my brother. So it's like, I'm with him.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I know for a fact he going to go for me.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: But just being in a club, I'm hearing different voices
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: than the music. And it's like, I'm paranoid. I'm moving
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: around looking. And he just, he whispered in my ear like, yo,
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: you are right. I got you, bro.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: But what made you decide to go to the club
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: a month later?
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I'm still battling being an adult. So I always wanted
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: to be, I'm still C-Note. So what would C-Note do?
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: C-Note would be in a club. But I'm in a club,
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I'm paranoid.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: So that's before you were 30 days old.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm battling it myself. So it's like, in my mind,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I know I'm going to see it again. Let me
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: go to the club. I'm still Sean nigga. I'm still
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: that nigga. But I'm paranoid with it, though. That PTSD, nigga,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: I chair fell. And I felt like it was the
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: end of the world.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Did people know you were blind?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Nah, nobody. They didn't know I was blind.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: They didn't know. So they just thinking you just... Just regular.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: People, like, people... He had girls dancing on me. I
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: wasn't holding on to him. I'm still... Moving around, nobody
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: know I'm blonde.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: So you was dancing.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. He's like, he wouldn't let nobody get close to me.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: As soon as a person felt like they brushing against me,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: he put their hand on it. Now I'm like, move
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: over some more. But it's like, I don't want to
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: live like this. Because he's like, I can see it
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: all in your face. That paranoia in you. I'm like, yeah,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: we out. And I walked out and I said, I'm
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: not ready for this shit.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: So how long were you in the club before you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: realized you wasn't ready?
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Then after that, I did a party bus. But I
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: was cool with the party bus because everybody on the
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: party bus I knew. So it's like, it's friends, it's family.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: So I'm feeling good now. I'm not worrying about nothing
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: because I'm like, nobody on this bus going to hit me.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: So it's like, I'm Gucci. Then after that, it was like,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: all right, we going to the strip club. Then it's like,
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: that's when I got introduced to the sections. I'm always
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: in the section in the strip club. It's just us
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: females throwing money. I'm having fun. After a while, it's like, ah,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I shook that shit off. Now I'm in a club,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: but I'm still paranoid to a point at a certain time, yo,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: we out.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Me off this. I ain't waiting.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's in any hood.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Can see it, whether you can't, motherfucker. I'm out the
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: club before it closed.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: That wasn't me. I'm there at the end of the night.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: I'm chasing. I'm running behind girls from one corner to
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: the next corner.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: But you party promote now, so you leave at the
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: end then.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I leave all the way at the end.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Because you got to make sure everybody get paid.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Everybody get paid and all. And I'm still paranoid.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: So now that you're a party promoter, how do you
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: manage it while being blind? Separating the money, counting this,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: doing the flyers and shit?
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: It's crazy because I just spoke at an organization. They
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: was asking me, like, I know money. I know the
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: difference between a dollar and a hundred dollar bill. So
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: then I got my sister behind the bar. That's my
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: eyes right there. My dog Danny at the door. That's
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: my eyes right there. So I put people in position.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: to a point I can trust I know nothing's going
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: to happen. Before I used to be in a club,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: it was more on I'm getting my life back. I'm dancing,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: I'm drinking, I'm not really understanding what I'm really doing. Now,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I don't, when I'm in a club, I don't barely
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: see me. Either I'm in the back making sure the
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: bottles is going out right, correctly, and I put real
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: people around me at real times.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: People that you trust.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: People I trust. It's like, it's a guy, my son Nuno,
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: me and him started working last year with each other. But,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: He's my biggest motivation. He texted me this morning, like, yo,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I did six videos. Where's yours at? I dropped them.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Now I got to get up. I put my metal
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: glass in. Let me go in the mirror. You ain't
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: going to outdo me. Like, you need to surround your people.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: You need to surround yourself around good people. At the
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: end of the night, we count the money up and
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: all that. Like, everybody know I'm blind. It's no secret now.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Some people like, damn, I've been around you this whole time.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I never knew you was blind. Now I tell people
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I'm blind. Ain't no secret now.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: You don't try to hide it.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: I don't hide shit. Because this really showed me your
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: loyalty to me. At the end of the night, I
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: give my money to my sister. I'm like, yo, go
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: outside before me. Because it's like I've still got that
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: little paranoid on me that we're leaving at the club.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: We ain't got nothing on us. It's going to be
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: somebody outside waiting for us to get us. So I
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: still have that, yo, pull the car in front of
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: the door, bro. We just counted some shit. We ain't
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: working out like this. Pull the car in front of
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: the door. Let me jump in the car. I don't
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: want to be Superman no more.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: But don't you think, do you think that just comes
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: from being blind or does that just come with wisdom?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Because moving a certain way also comes with age.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Like, because if you know you got money, if you
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: know this and that, even people that can see, you
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, they still move a.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Certain way with their money. It's wisdom, but it's even
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: hyphen being blind because I can't see it coming.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Because you're more paranoid.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Like, now I'm depending on somebody else to look around
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: me to make sure shit is moving on point. Before,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: if I leave it out, I'm looking down the block,
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I'm looking across the street, I'm looking at every little movement.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I'm depending on somebody else's eyes now. Right. So I'm
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: even more, it didn't, not for nothing in the club,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: people looking at me, that's the money nigga right there.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: It ain't the rest of them. That's him. He the
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: money nigga right there.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: It's different. It's like, they know that nigga always got
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: money in his pocket. I don't want a nigga to
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: feel like, oh, he get a one up on me
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: and run up on me.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: So it'd be.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: You gotta have people.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Put that shit in front of me. Big time. Sometime
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: the party going, I'll leave before the party go over. Shit.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Even, even me, I was just, Cause I got shot
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: too at a party. Of course.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I know my story already. So for me, when I
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: go out with my bros and stuff like that, they
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: always make sure like, you know, like my bro was like, yo,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: cause we, we went from like, we was at mad
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: different spots on Friday. So he like, yo, like, um,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: First of all, we made them put us in the cut. Because, listen,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: when I'm outside with niggas that's in the streets, I
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: make sure, like, you get what I'm saying? You don't
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: want to be seen too much. I'm not trying to
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: be seen. I'm trying to have fun.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you get what I'm saying?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: That's why you ain't seen me and I ain't seen you.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: We know how to move.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: We in the same club.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: We ain't even seen each other. stop stop I wasn't
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: even trying to make a blonde joke today but no
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: for real like you move a certain way because at
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: the end of the day when I was younger like
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: when I was walking and stuff it was all about
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: just being seen and stuff like that but now that
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I'm married that I'm somebody's mother I gotta make it
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: home to my baby I gotta make sure my husband
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: can hear my voice at the end of the night
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: so it's like I gotta I gotta move a certain
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: way and everybody that's around me most of the people
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: that surround me been around me for years they've been
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: around me since I was walking especially like the niggas
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I call my brothers those really my brothers you know
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying so they know like what it was
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: like to see me in that hospital. They know they
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: don't want to ever put me in that position again. So, like,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: he was like, yo, my brother was like, yo, we
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: didn't even see when you left out. I said, nigga,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: you know I'm not standing in front of no club
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: with you. He was like, nah, for real. Like, I
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: move a whole different way now. I used to go
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: out to the clubs all the time. Now that I'm, like,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: older and stuff like that. Well, it's not even about
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: age because some people still go out and I don't
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: want to make it an age-shaming thing because enjoy your life.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: But I've been in a club since I was 12
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: years old. You get what I'm saying? Like I literally
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: was sneaking with fake IDs and shit like that. Partying.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: So for me, it's like a little bit more different.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Like I'll go out for somebody's birthday. Like it was
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: my brother's birthday this weekend. Cool. I went. See, no birthday.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I was supposed to be there, but I thought it
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: had stairs.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: My man is a hater. That shit was a movie.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: But yeah, like it's like if it's somebody's birthday, it's
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: something cool. But I'm never just going to the club
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: because it's Friday and you know what I mean? I
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: want to go outside and shit like that. Like I'm
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: going for a purpose. He in the club getting money.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I'm in the club with the niggas with money, so
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I ain't got to spend none. You feel me?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: And another thing, too, like, I just surround myself around
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: different people. So if I know you on that time, man,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be around you, bro.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But see, the thing about it is if I
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: know you on that time and you respect me, you
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: get what I'm saying? You know what situations to put
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: me in and what situations not to put me in.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying? And also, I know where
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I'm at. Like, if I'm going with certain people that
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I know are in the streets, like, I know where
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going and I know how to move and I
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: know the people know me.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: You know how to slide over yourself.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying? And I know how they
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: move and they'll put me on. Like, yo, you go
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: that way real quick. You get what I'm saying? So...
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: It's never no misfortunes and stuff like that. Honestly, mistakes
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: do happen and stuff like that. But I move by
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: faith and not by fear because I can't walk. So
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: I got to just trust in God with a lot
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of situations. Even they put me in kids, I don't know,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: but some of the sections, they got stairs. They got
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: elevated sections. They put us in an elevated section. So
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: the nigga at kids, he like, yeah, you've been here before.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: You fine. Like they don't even, you know what I'm saying?
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: They don't even care about my disability no more. And
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you're going to get up the stairs.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: And we made it happen and we situated it and
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: we had a fucking bowl. But the most underrated blessing
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: is making it home safe. You get what I'm saying?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: So as long as- That's my main goal. So for me,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I didn't, like when I first got shot, I don't
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: even remember a moment because I always had PTSD. But
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I think I finally got rid of my PTSD when
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I went to a gun range for the first time.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: My first time in Atlanta, I went to a gun
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: range and I held the same gun that I got
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: shot with. And I was shooting with it and it
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: did something so therapeutic.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: It took the power back.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I took my power back because I was so fearful
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: of just guns and situations because I'm like, oh my God,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: I can get shot. I can get shot. I can
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: get shot. But then it's like, yo, you can't live
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: your life like that.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: It's nowhere to live. Living your life in fear, you
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: will never fully have a true fair life. So for
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: people that get into car accidents, get in a car again.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Something can happen anywhere. You
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: can be sitting in your house. People get shot through
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: their window. You know what I'm saying? Laying in their bed.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: The PTSD wash away when you throw yourself out there. Yeah,
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: you have to put yourself out there. Like now, I
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: don't pop, I don't jump no more. I don't do
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: none of that shit no more. It just be, I
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: turn around, look, like, yeah, it be good, yeah, it
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: be good, bro.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: My baby likes to stab balloons, so, oh boy, I
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: had to get over that fear real quick. That's my
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: boy with that. Nigga's trying to get low, like, damn it,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: throw myself out the chair.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: I hated that shit. firecrackers go off I'm like I'm
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: going in the house I gotta.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Turn it off I had a friend that got mad
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: at me because her baby shower was like on the
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: 4th of July or you know in New York around
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: 4th of July they gonna just let off they let
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: off fireworks the whole summer fuck that the whole summer
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: fireworks is going off this bitch had a baby shower
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: this bitch had a baby shower and this is why
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: it's important to be around people that understand you and
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I could tell this story me and the bitch cool
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: but bitch you know I'm talking about you she had
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: a baby shower or whatever and She was wondering. I
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: stayed at the corner. I gave the gift. And I said, yeah,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: walk this shit down the block. You know what I'm saying?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: But I'm not going. And she was confused as to
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: why I wasn't going. So now when my turn came
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: and it was my baby shower, she's like, oh, well,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: you didn't come to my da-da-da-da-da. She told somebody that.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: And I say, yo, I had PTSD. You know what
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I'm saying?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I understand that.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I still do. I'm not saying that I'll never get
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: triggered again because God forbid if I, you know what
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? You never know. I've been in situations where
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: people were shooting again and I've been in a party.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? I literally was at a
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: party where they were shooting again and I still got
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: triggered again. So just when you think you can get
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: over something, it can always come back. The thing about
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: therapy is they just help, they just teach you how
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: to deal with your trauma, but they can't make you
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: get over it.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Get over it.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: So we can't, it's nothing we can do to tell
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: y'all like, hey, this is all going to be okay
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: one day.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Nah, it's not.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Because nigga, you might wake up to, we all good
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: right now. A fucking elevator might break in my building.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I might be pissed because my son got to get
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: to school. You know what I'm saying? And I might
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: get triggered by, I can't get him down the stairs.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Right then and there.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Exactly. So it's just about learning coping mechanisms. It's about
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: having trustworthy people around you, people that you know no
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: matter what, they're going to be good to you because
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: when you're really disabled, you have to understand you're going
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: to have to depend on people and you have to
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: be okay with it.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: It's okay with it. Ask for help. There's nothing wrong
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: with asking for help. Because even like you said, like
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: with you, like me, it was somebody let off a
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Roman candle and I hit the floor.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I hate them shirts.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: I hit the floor and when I hit the floor, like,
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: I try to laugh it off, but I'm just hearing
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: my heart beat inside. And my best friend, he rubbed
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: my back. And he's like, yo, it's good, bro. Get up.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: He left me. He picked me up. He put me
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: back in the chair because I fell out the chair
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: thinking he was shooting. And he's squeezing my shoulder. He's like, yo,
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: you're going to be good. But everybody, we laugh. Like,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: everybody laughing. I'm laughing, too.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: But for that.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Moment, he knew what I was going through. And after that,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: he's like, yo, come on. I'm going over here. Now
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I'm holding on to him. Because he understood and he
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: had to tell me. Just off him rubbing my back,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: I felt that, like, that warm shoulder. Like, I'm good.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I'm in good hands now.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: And then also, you can't get mad at your friends
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: for not knowing. No, you definitely can't. Also, because I
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: got really upset with one of my close friends or
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: whatever because she took me to Brownsville for Fourth of
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: July weekend.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, never go.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: It was around Fourth of July weekend.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, never go.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: And they just letting us, like, when I say the fire.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: You should have knew better.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I just was going there as a support system. I
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: was just, you know, a wingman.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Ain't no support in Brownsville.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Yo, and she said we was only going to be
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: there for a few minutes.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: You should have knew better. Ain't no support in Brownsville.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Yo, I knew once we seen Biggie Smalls' picture. You know, Langston,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: is that, what's that, L.A. 's Langston Hughes or whatever?
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: And Biggie Knight was supposed to be in Brownsville.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I said. Once I seen that picture,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I said, oh God, I'm about.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: To meet him. Nigga said, go.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: No, that's how I felt. I said, oh, I'm about
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: to go. So I'm sitting in the car and she
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: was like, come out the car. I'm like, I'm not
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: fucking getting out this car. You get what I'm saying?
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And they letting off the fireworks so much. It just
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: sounded like boom, boom, boom. And I just got really
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: pissed at her. I was like, you triggered my PTSD.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: But I had to take accountability. I triggered my own
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: PTSD because I knew he was going outside. I knew
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: that fireworks are going to happen. You know what I'm saying?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: But I just wasn't.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Okay with how long. She went to Brownsville. That's what
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: you should have left with. What you talking about?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Nah, this gangsta ain't going to Brownsville. No, I'm kidding.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Listen, my friend, my homegirl, you know, one thing about Brownsville,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: the bitches is even tougher than me. It's like, them
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: bitches is pit bulls. My friend, she gonna go.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Bitches is niggas.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she gonna go. That's why it's like, I wasn't
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: really tripping about that because I've been to Brownsville plenty
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: of times with her.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: My wife live in Brownsville.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: That shit is the trenches.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I go in at night and I come out in
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: the morning. I'm going in when everybody's sleeping.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Yo, my friend be like, I'm not going nowhere. I
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: can't take my knife. I'm like, this bitch is crazy.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: A knife? You need a gun for Brownsville?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: This bitch know how to boof a fucking knife up her...
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not fucking with Brownsville.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: That's too much. If you gotta do that, that's too much.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I ain't going to Brownsville.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: That's why we telling her, like, nah, stay home. Cause
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: she the friend.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: That's the friend you call.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I had a situation where some girl was getting crazy
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: and she was like, I'm about to come out there.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: I said, please don't. You gonna have us all in jail.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: You call her when you want shit to go too far.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: You know you got different friends for different reasons. You
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: call that bitch when you want to possibly be fighting
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: an attempt or a murder. You don't call that bitch
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: for nothing less. That's why it's like, I respect my
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Brooklyn friends. I only got like two, I just told
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: the other day, I only got like two Brooklyn friends.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Other than that, you see, you my brother. But them
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: other bitches, them my Brooklyn friends.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: The Brooklyn girls is crazy what you just said. No, Brooklyn.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: My husband is from Brooklyn. So, yeah, I know this shit.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Y'all motherfuckers is crazy. You see, you changed their life around.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I done heard a lot of stories about your nut ass, too.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Don't let this motherfucker fool you, sitting there smiling like that.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I'm a sidewalk nigga now.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Nigga, what was you, what they said? I think my
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: baby daddy was like, yeah, this nigga was like, you
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: know the nigga from that movie when he was like,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: what's that movie, Don't Breathe, when the blonde nigga was shooting?
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was saying I was here.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Yo, I changed my life.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Nigga was a blonde John Wick, please.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: I don't do that no more. I changed my life.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: I don't do that no more.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly. That's why I said Brooklyn.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: I'm a sidewalk nigga now.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: It's a different type of air. When I went out there,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: because my mama live out there now, I said, ooh,
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: I'm choking. The air out there is even different.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: It's a little bit thick. When you could just walk
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: outside and you don't got no beef, no problems.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a, I mean, I'm a girl, so I
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: never had to.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm walking with the sticks and people were like, yo,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: you doing a good job? Yo, I love it. And
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: it's like, damn. This is what I've been running from
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: the whole time. This peace? Yeah, I'm downtown and I'm
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: walking and the lady, she rubbed my back. She said, yo,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: you're doing a good job. I'm like, thank you. It's like,
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I'm running away from something that's just, it's my life now.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: But I'm glad you said that because let's talk about
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: the people. So people, it's a difference between being supportive
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: and wanting to be helpful and then downright just disrespecting.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: The other day, I'm in Dollar Tree. Yeah, because a
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: real bad bitch still shop at Dollar Tree, period. Who don't?
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm in Dollar Tree and the lady like, you
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: by yourself? I'm like, yeah. Look, I'm like, yeah. And
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: she's like, oh, you're going to road by yourself too?
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Going to road by yourself means like you're about to
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: go outside by yourself too. I'm like, yeah. And then
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: she's like, oh, that's, yeah. She's like, oh, that's, that's crazy.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: You should have somebody. I said, miss, I'm a whole mother. Like,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a whole grown-ass woman. Like, I came into this
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: store by myself. How the fuck you think I'm going
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: to get out? You think I came into this store
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: and thought I need somebody to drop me home or
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: drive me? You know what I'm saying? She said, oh, no.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: That's the percentage of people that need to be educated.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: She said, no, I was just trying to help you.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I was just going to help you. That's why I
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: was asking. I said, but when I said no the
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: first two times politely, like, I'm good, you should have
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: just let that because at this point, now you're disrespecting me.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Now it's insulting as if I'm not capable of taking
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: care of myself. The worst thing you could do is
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: make me feel like I'm not, you get what I'm saying?
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not able. I done worked all these years and
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: did all this shit and put myself through all these
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: lessons just so I could be able to do shit
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: by myself. And I've been independent walking. So imagine rolling. Nigga,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I'll drag my ass down the stairs like a snail
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: before I let a motherfucker think and they keeping me
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: in somebody's motherfucking crib. You understand what I'm saying? That's
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: how independent I am. So I think that people need
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: to learn. That's what I said. People need to learn
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: just to let, disabled people be disabled in peace. Like,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: we don't always want to have a conversation. I don't
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: want to sit there and be like, oh my God,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: you're so strong. Like, people literally walk up to me like,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: oh my, what happened to you? What you doing in
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: that wheelchair? And I be telling people like, you know me?
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: What Juicy say?
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: You know me, nigga? That's too much. Do you know me, nigga?
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Like, what you fucking asking me?
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: What you doing in that wheelchair?
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Because now every day I got to talk about my trauma.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: And it's a difference between people that like, like the
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: church people, the people that, you know, the old ladies
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: that want to pray with me and shit. I don't,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I don't mind talking to them because it's a way
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: that they approach. You get what I'm saying? But if
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: you just approach me, the first thing you say, not, hey,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: how you doing? Why are you in a wheelchair? Then
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: some nigga thought he was funny. Some ugly nigga, he
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: gonna say, oh yeah, I need a girl in a wheelchair.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, I'm married. He was like, no,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: you didn't let me finish. Let me finish. Because he's
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: in front of a bunch of niggas. And he's like, oh,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: because you can never walk out of my life. I said, nigga,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't even come into your life. Do you see
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: how you fucking look, nigga? You know, like, and that
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: shit is so played out because y'all thinking y'all funny.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: But then it's like, when I get real funny, nigga,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: then y'all gonna be like, oh, this bitch is really disrespectful.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: And I'm really going to disrespect the shit out of you.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: And I disrespected the fuck out of him in front
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: of all those grown ass men. Nigga, if I was walking,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: you couldn't even see me. So why the fuck you
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: think you're going to do it in a wheelchair?
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Again, disabled, not desperate.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Two different words.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: We regular people.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: So when you think you're gonna be funny with somebody
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: and I take jokes all day but with people I
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: fuck with with people I know you know what I'm
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: saying strangers no that's disrespectful cause you don't even know
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: if I'm okay with this situation you don't know how
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I got in this situation what if this shit happened
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: to me yesterday and you just sitting there talking about
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: it nigga and then people be talking like when my
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: kid is with me and stuff like oh you got
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: him bitch I had this nigga I pushed this nigga
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: out of my pussy of course I got him only
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: had I had him I had him in the chair
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: he's great and my son be telling people my son
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: be like Yo, he be wild. Like, he don't play
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: about me. You get what I'm saying? So I don't even, like,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I don't teach my son to be disrespectful. But if
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: he see somebody bothering me and stuff like that, like,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: boys are naturally protective of their mother. He don't play
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: that shit. And I never want my son to be
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: in a position where he feel like he got to,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? I'm the adult. You know
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? I got to protect and defend him.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: So I just need people.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: That's what a boy going to do.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: If we want help, we will ask. If you see
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: us in a situation where it's like, oh, no, they
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: definitely need help. There's nothing wrong with offering. But you
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: see me at a fucking cash register putting my shit up.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Only thing you can help me with is by paying
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: for it, bitch. Because SSI has given me enough. Now,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: the one thing I will never turn down is no pay.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: If you got some money for me, if you feel
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: that bad for me, give me some money. Cash at me.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Frenchie so fat, motherfucker.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Donate it.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Donate it. I need a new chair. Y'all see me?
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Crooked it. I'm telling you.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Y'all want to talk about my fucking needs because the
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: chair is crooked.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I started using this because I want to give the
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: person that's coming behind me hope. I'm giving them power.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: I ducked this for 14 years and that's time. So
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: many people hit me up like, yo, they blind. They
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: don't know how to do it. It's like, I can't
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: give advice if I'm not taking my own advice. It's like,
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to see the stick a lot more in
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: these streets.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: That's real though.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: A lot more in these streets. Like, I had Wolf
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: in the Hood and the block party and all. Like, well,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: I've seen it. Like, so much love that I can't.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: It's like the love that I got around me is
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: like using a stick. Because everybody want to guide me
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: through when it's like not.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: You know how many people be like, oh, I know
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: you wrote da-da-da-da-da. They be like, oh, that's not me.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: It's da-da-da-da-da. I be like, yeah. He good. Like, my
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: boy doing good. I don't look at him. and see
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: a blind person, I see a nigga that see better
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: than half of y'all niggas out here. Like, that ass,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: we just downstairs, I'm like, look at the mirror, nigga.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: And niggas say, which way? I say, oh, shit, we're
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: on back. But you don't, if you see people for
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: who they really are, you're not going to see the disability.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: You look past that. Yeah. I be in the club,
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: they be like, yo, move your blonde ass over there, bro.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: You doing too much. I'm like, what? I'm like, wasn't I?
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: He's like, nah, you walking. You not knowing what you're
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: walking into. Man, I'm having fun. I'm living life.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: To a point, a girl came to me. She said, yo,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: I had to come to your party. She had one arm.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: She said, I had to come to your party. I
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: see your podcast. I just wanted to really meet you
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: in person. I'm like.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Well, shorty with the one arm, come to the podcast.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: Yo, it was somebody in the wheelchair, one arm, and
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: a deaf person.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, you had the whole ADA out that bitch.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I heard that that person is a freak, too.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: You said she a freak? No, hopefully that's not my
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: homeboy girl, because, oh, that might be my homeboy girl.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Shut up about that.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Let me talk about that later.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Let me talk about that later. Because she did show
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: up and type in boo-boo-boo-boo-boo and show me what she
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: want to do.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: You did promote a party with him, too.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: A wall? Oh, man.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: It's definitely probably him.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, man. We'll talk about that later.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: That nigga crazy.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: That's a different story. Damn, I promote. See, I don't
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: even know who I be promoting parties with.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: You do anything. I be seeing everybody on this nigga fly.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: This nigga just don't give a fuck. You coming to
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: the party tonight, you want to fly it. It should
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: be packed out, though. If you ain't been to a
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: C-Note party, go.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: And before, I used to always feel bad because I
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: can't see the crowd. I can't see my work that
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: I'm really doing. Now I feel the love. I feel
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: the work. When I'm in there and they screaming my
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: name out, I'm like, damn, this shit feel good. I'm
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: on the stage, like, they busted up for my birthday, 1942s,
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: and I ain't come out of my pocket for nothing.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: It's like, that's real love right there. Y'all spending $ 350,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: $ 400 for a bottle for me? Nah, that's real love
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: right there. I appreciate y'all. I walked in, like, my
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: son said, yo, they not rolling out the red carpet
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: for you, bro? Then that's somewhere you don't need to be.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: You put in work. Like, they got to give you
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: your crown.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: So do they make you sign a waiver at Kiss, too?
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Nah, they don't.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, they be playing with me.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: I don't even stay on the line. But they can't
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: tell you're blonde, though.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Nah, they don't. You wasn't, Mr. Sick. They be making
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: me sign a fucking waiver.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: They call me blind poppy when I go to the front. Yeah,
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: they call me blind poppy.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Them bitch ass niggas.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Open the gate and all that for me. Like, there's
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: a line there.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Like, nah, come to the front. Yeah, I don't have
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: to do the line thing. That's not the problem.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Open the line, walk in.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: The problem is they made me sign a fucking waiver.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And that's why I walked out. The first time I
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: went to kiss, I ain't even going. Because I'm like,
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: what the fuck? I got to sign a waiver. I
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: ain't never did that.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: They want to protect they self.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I don't do none of that. I walk straight at them.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: They be like, yo, you good? I'm like, yeah, kiss.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: All right, kiss. If y'all want to keep seeing me,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: you better fix that. No, kiss is the only place
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: I have to do that at. I mean, Polygon, don't
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: that got stairs?
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: That's why I ain't been there.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I ain't supporting nowhere with stairs except for Blend. Them
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: my niggas.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Blend and Queens? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to do a
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: party there, though.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: They carry me up them stairs. Blend and Queens be lit.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do a party in there.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my shit.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I talk to the owner and all. I got
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: his number. It's crazy. He about to lock in. Blend,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: but He got juvie on the 4th, December 4th.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: What you doing?
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Where you doing Halloween at? I'm at Merrick Boulevard. There's
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: some dance hall. My son doing it. So I'm showing him.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Are you going to be there? Yeah, I'm going to
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: be there.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, because you know I'm in Queens. Merrick on a Halloween?
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Yo, I don't want to go, but
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: that's my dog. So it's like, I'm going to show you.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Show me love. Give me nothing but love. I just
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: want to return it back. That's the type of person.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: If you're really going, let me know.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I really got you. You can just wait for Juve
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: if you want.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: They can say, yeah, Juve have the block.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Juve have the block. You wait for Juve.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: They can say Americana.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: I miss y'all guys, though, man.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I know. It's been a while.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I was being depressed in the house and all that.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: But we about to elevate. We about to do something big.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: We already upped it. Look at the new studio, guys.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: It's nice. Well, you can't see it, but it's white.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: It's creamy.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: It's bright.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: You can see the brightness.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my eyes is motherfucking... My eyes is very glowy.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: The tone.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Like, it's bright as hell.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Just picture us, like, sitting in, like... I feel like
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I'm in heaven. Yeah, it looks like that.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: It kind of looks like that. Yeah, I feel like
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: I'm in heaven right now.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know I love the lights.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: You would tell, this the rich nigga studio. The chairs
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: is different. We got carpet on the floor. We can
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: take our sneakers off in here. This the rich nigga studio, right?
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Well, me taking my shoes off won't benefit.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: So you crack a joke on your damn self.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: You won't benefit. But that's what you have to do.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: You have to be able to cut your own ass.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: And that's another thing, another quality with being disabled. Be
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: able to take a joke. Be able to make a
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: joke on yourself. But don't tolerate disrespect. Like I said, strangers,
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: if you think you're going to sit there and crack
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: jokes with me, motherfucker, make sure that page is private.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Make sure that page is private, all your teeth is aligned.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Because we still got the... Because we still on it.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And he got that voice actor that's going to tell
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: him what you look like. And if it say you're ugly,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: we're going to believe it.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: And I can curse you out quicker now. Hell yeah.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: So make sure you know that, because he used to
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: be cursing people out three business days later. Then I'm
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: tired of you responding to the good comments. Nigga be
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: dissing the good people sometimes. I'm like, no. I'm like,
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: he ain't even say nothing. So you know, be like, oh,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: my bad.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Yo, I'll be defending you on YouTube, too. People are like,
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: why is she dressed like that? Talking about God and
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: all that, this, that, and the third.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: They said that on YouTube? They said I'm dressed like
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: a hoe?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Yo, when you had that pink on, I was holding
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: it down, defending you. I don't even dress bad. She's
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: dressed like that. She's talking about God and this, that,
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: and the third. i held it down i don't even
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: dress bad disabled people i put belt that.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I don't even but wolf you see me do i
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: dress inappropriately i don't dress bad you.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Know it's people that's behind the screen i don't.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Dress bad who don't i know i don't ugly motherfuckers
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: but because it's like how can you say you the
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: church says first of all that's why i don't do
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: church come as you are that's why i don't do
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: church and i believe in god can't nobody tell me
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: about my faith because i had one of my friends
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: tell me oh if you don't go to church and
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: stuff like that. You're not that close to God. No.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Because at the end of the day, a lot of
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: them are false prophets on the pulpit these days. And
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: a lot of them are just preaching things that they
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: don't even believe in. I knew church was getting too
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: played out when motherfuckers had the Apple Pay machine. They said, Todd,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: they didn't have it. He had the thing that could swipe.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I said, oh no, this is crazy.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: They got ATM machines in the back.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: In the church, and that's what I said. And that's
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: not every church. I'm not going to sit there and
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: downplay every church because there are some.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: Pentecostal, my wife's church, I ain't going.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: To lie, they... Yeah, your wife is a.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: She's a minister.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: She's a minister.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: I ain't going to lie, I've been going to church
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: a lot more. And it's like, they church don't push
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: it on you. Like, They don't ask, we don't see
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: you every week. She's like, nah, whenever you're ready, he
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: going to come. I got to come check it out.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: Why don't you invite me to church? Invite me to
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: the club and not the church.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Invite me to the church.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Invite me to the church.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: Pastor, Pastor Wright, I ain't going to lie, she's official. Official, official.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: They don't judge because I sing your podcast. I'm like,
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: oh my God. She be like, oh my God. But
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: they be like, nah, yo, I love your chemistry. I
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: love the way we try to talk about this. But no,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: you can't.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Drop it on me like that. They just said I'm
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: dressed like what? Like a Jezebel? Like, honestly, like.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: What the fuck does somebody that believe in God... It's
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: like a church clip, you know?
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: What is somebody that.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: What is somebody that believe in God supposed to look like?
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: What is they supposed to look like? Because I know
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: some hoes that are closer with God than motherfuckers that
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: act like that. You know what I'm saying?
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: Church people. Yeah.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: And the church people be the main ones coming home
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: to judge. What's the first thing they say? Thou shall
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: not judge. May he who cast the first stone be
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: without sin. So before you judge me for how I'm dressing,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: make sure you check yourself for trying to judge me
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: because that's God's job. That's God's job to do. I
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: love you. That's the only... Not mother... God, I love you.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Church people don't even got no gag reflex. I just
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: said that.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: For real y'all be sitting there blowing off the pastas
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: the pastas be touching little boys and little girls and
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: y'all wanna sit there and judge me the hoes go
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: they go with they chest out and they bosoms out
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: but they think just because it's a covered up dress
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: but your whole titties and your ass is poking no
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: joking and you think that I'm supposed to be no
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: they try to do that to that other pastor wife.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah Brian Yeah, and he told.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Them, like, no, she look good and he got a
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: beautiful wife. If you keep dressing how you dress, miss.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, I don't sit there
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: and worry about what nobody got on because of the
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: fact that I'm even allowed to afford clothes. Please, I'm grateful.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: And as long as my husband don't got nothing to
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: say about it, I don't give a damn what y'all
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: got to say. Shit. Fuck them.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Me don't know who they is anymore. What the fuck
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: did I wear that was whole?
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Which video was this?
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: One of the last video. When you said, you walk
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: by faith, not by sight, and I said, you still
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: in my shit. He talked about that one.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: No, but what the fuck did I have? I can't
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: remember what I had on. Because I don't wear nothing
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: inappropriate to this shit.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: You don't?
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Because I always think about, you know, like.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: They be weirdos. That's all.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to find that comment. I'm going to
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: find that comment. I'm going to get on your ass.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: You better hope that... My sneakers is fake and all this.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: They said your sneakers fake.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: They said my sneakers fake.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Who said your sneakers fake? They seen this on YouTube.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: People say, oh, his snake is fake.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: I'm too busy arguing with people on Instagram, so you
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: mean to tell me I got to go to the
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: tube now?
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: But that just means we making it. That just means
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: we making it. I've been going from the tube to
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: a point they like, let me stop responding to this nigga.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: No, yeah.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: I've been having an all day to go. No, yeah.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell yeah. I don't got no job. I work bitches.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I got y'all. I'll be there. Y'all lucky I don't
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: get there right now.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: I'll be there. But they can't stop her. They can't
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: stop something that's moving real fast and real heavy.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing. Another thing for people that are disabled...
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Got to have tough skin. You got to. Because it's
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: always going to be somebody with something to say. It's
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: people that got something to say about people that are
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: walking all the time. These celebrities, you don't see what
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: they got to go through. That's why I just look
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: at it like, oh, shit, I'm making it. Whenever I
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: see somebody dissing real hard, I'm like, damn, I'm making it.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Because I never wake up and think I'm going to comment.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: If I don't like something that somebody got going on,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I don't even comment or say it. Don't comment.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Give it to yourself.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: Because that's some hating shit. That's when you become a hater.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: And then people going to get, you don't understand, the
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: more you comment, the more this shit go up. So
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: if you genuinely don't like me, you wouldn't help us
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: go up.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: I like the fact that you watched it because we
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: earned your view.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Thank you so much. And then the people be like,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: how did I end up here? Bitch, your algorithm put
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: you here because this is the type of shit you watch, bitch.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: You're looking for disabled people.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: The fuck you mean? yeah y'all y'all just mad y'all
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: mad y'all can't roll and close your eyes like we
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: do they can't do what we do they can't do
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: what we do that's the fucking crazy part like i
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: don't ever sit there and wake up and say you
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: know what let me spread hate like anytime that i
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: comment it's literally a fact i'm not saying i disagree
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: with everything that i comment on because i'll be in
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: a shade room and shit but it's never like a
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: shade to it it's never.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: A shade to a person.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah no especially somebody Come on, we all trying to
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: get paid. Should it be the people that's up there? Like,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: you know, oh, I'm just trying to get money to
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: feed my kid and stuff like that. All you got
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: to do is like, share, comment. If you don't want
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: to do that, don't do none of it. Just move
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: past it because there's somebody else that's going to sit
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: there and help bless these people. God said that we
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: need a village. We need community. But everybody in this
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: community just wants to separate each other. disperse, destroy, wickedness.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: It's too much wickedness in this era. And that's why
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I said it's kind of hard to just be the
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: type of person that I am in a world like
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: this because I'm a very loving person.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: It be the people that be scared to look at
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: they self in the mirror.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they fucking hate themselves.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: I don't pay people like that no more.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: People hate because of your confidence sometimes too.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, all the time my vision got purpose, man.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: I ain't tripping on y'all niggas, man. Y'all niggas. I'm
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: not even in my bracket right now.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, I even, I can't even trip. That shit
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: don't even mean nothing to me, but damn.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: So what they gonna have to say about today's outfit?
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: Cause the shirt is a little sheer. I don't know,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: but I got on pants and fucking ugly.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: She ain't tripping. I can't see the hate. So we
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: going to keep on going.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: But yeah. So to anybody that's out there that's disabled,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: please keep sending us your messages. We are here to help.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: This is what we do. We're here to advocate. We're
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: here to make you feel better. Not just about yourself,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: but just about your new journey. This is a rebirth.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: This is a new journey. You don't have to do
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: this alone. You're not alone. You get what I'm saying?
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: And if you can't talk to nobody, if you don't
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: believe in God, I mean.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: Well, you can't talk to nobody, hit us up.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Believe in yourself, at least.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Because we can't make something out of nothing.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: No, that's a big.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: You got to start with something. We can't help you
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: unless you're willing to help yourselves. And that's the most
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: important part. Before you search for help.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: always open for y'all exactly we're here for you Hot
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Wheels for real and that's a wrap.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: That's a wrap for this episode and be out of
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: here come back