Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / The Eds: unEDited with Ralph Pittman

Transcript

The Eds: unEDited with Ralph Pittman · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the EDS. My name is Eddie Judge
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: and I got my partner here.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Moving in.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I think we should do this in Spanish today, Yeah,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: we should. I will mock up all the words, though
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I have to read. I'll have to plan for that one.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: I bet our guest notes in Spanish.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: So we have a special guest today, Ralph Pittman. He
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: is part of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Was married
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: to Drew Siddora uh currently going through a separation divorce,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: and what we know about him is they've been together
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: for eight years, step two children, and she You guys
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: have been on it for four seasons now, right, Ralph.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Yes, you got it, four our seasons.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Awesome. Ralph is a very interesting guy. I can't wait
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: to hear all about him. He's a new musician, an entrepreneur,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: and author. He's got so many hats. You're a very
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: very interesting guy. I can't wait to get to know you, Ralph.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Fantastic. Thanks for having me. Also, I think, first and
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: allmost this is an amazing platform because I think, you know,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: especially within this world, we're surrounded by all the women
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: they have the headlines and things of that nature. But
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: just for an opportunity for the guys to come together
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: because at the end of the day, and we are
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: such a huge part of the show as well. Yeah,
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: it's great to actually be here and thanks for the invite.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, that's a great point you make. We
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: are a big part of their life on the show.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And I myself try to stay off the show because
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: it's just so full of fighting and drama and stuff
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: like that and I just can't deal with that. But
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and the truth is, when our wives go out to battle,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: if you will, they come home to us and we
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: listen and we hear, and we talk them off the
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: ledge and we you know, rationalize what's going on because
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: it's such a weird, unique situation to be on a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: reality TV show where they take parts of your life
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: and you know, cut and slice and edit and make you,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: you know, look good or bad. It just depends on
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: the storyline, right, got it. So so yeah, it's a
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: great point. So Ralph, tell us about who you are.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, where did you grow up and where are
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you from?
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: So yeah, so I grew up actually in New Brunswick,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: New Jersey, and so I actually grew up there, didn't
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: go far for college, and ended up going to Rutgers University,
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: played football there, and you know, I got tired of
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: cole Weather and decided I wanted to pursue something different.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Ended up moving over to Los Angeles, and then my
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: life kind of just began started jumping into a little
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: bit of entertainment things. I was in real estate for
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: quite some time, a bunch of things in that particular pursuit.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Technology has been in my background for quite some time
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: as well. So I got my degree in business economics,
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: and so I would consider myself more of a business
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: that's also creative and so but music. I played piano,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: you know, on played keyboard for a bunch of different people,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: and you know, decided to go into production as well.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: So it's like I've been doing a bunch of different journeys,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: wearing both hats, right, technology side, real estate and then
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: also the creative side, which is more so of dippenent
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: to dabbling in the music.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Now, to me, it sounds like you get bored easy,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: But I think the reality is is that you have
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: so many skills and talents that it's almost like it
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter what you do. You're good at it, right,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: and so you keep doing it, and I assume there's
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: stuff that you're not good at, like me, I hate
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: baseball because I suck at it. But you know, there's
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: certain things that we have to get out there and
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: try before we find out if we're good at them
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: or not. Am I kind of onto you now? Like that?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Does that kind of describe your what motivates you, what
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: gets you up in the morning and why you want
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: to try so many things? Or why don't you tell us?
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: You know what? So this a really good question. I
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: think you're right, right. I feel like I have things
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: that I love to just do. That's my passion in
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: my heart, you know. And so music has been that,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: to be perfectly frank with you, right, there's I think
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: I break it into two different areas. There's business, you know,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: where I make my money, and then there's the things
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: that fill me up. And what fills me up is
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: the music aspect. Right Literally, I can sit down at
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: home and play the piano for hours, Like literally, I've
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: missed going out and been playing a pianel until three
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: four o'clock in the morning. I had like the best time,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: big smile on my face. So that right there is
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: like my place of refuge, and so music has just
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: been that thing to where it's more passion but you know,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: everything else and it's really not that many. But you know,
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: I look at it and uh, in their area of business,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: anything that's going to help make money, anything that I'm
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: kind of passionate about or thinking about, like, all right,
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: this may be a great admiral. I'm looking to solve
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: a problem, you know. So it's like those are the
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: areas that I go into. So I would say in general,
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I'm a solutionist and also a musician, and so whatever
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: the solution may be in whatever particular area, like for instance,
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: the books, the threat, for instance that I created a book.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I was working on a book called The Step and Parenting,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: which is a book to help step fathers going through
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: the journey. You know, I'm a stepfather and pretty excited
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: about it. That's another thing. Let me jump into that.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: My kids, you know, So so I have you know,
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: we have three, right so Jojo he's fourteen now and
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: just went to high school. I have my Mackay, he's
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: ten years old, and then my little baby girl who
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: is now seven years old. And so having you know,
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: having that dynamic was pretty different and that's something also
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: that was on television, and so Jojo is not biologically mine. However,
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: being a step father is probably the most it's it's
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: we'll look at it as the most rewarding and the
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: most fulfilling, yet the most challenging thing that you could
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: probably ever endure because you're getting mastered in a lot.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: It's a lot of different challenges you go through. You
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: never really know what you're getting yourself into. And so
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: for me being a first time stepdad, I literally became
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: a stepdad before I became a biological father, and so
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I wanted to actually help other people going through the
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: same particular journey and you know, really share some light
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: on it because I think that that's one of the
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: areas that is overlooked. And so it's like, all right,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: you know what, this is a problem that I believe
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: I can solve. I can be able to help people,
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: and so let's write a book about it, and guess what,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: we can also put it on a show, because now
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: we're focusing on real life and things that's actually happening,
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: and since they're capturing it, let's go and talk about
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: it and give it a platform that actually spent a
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: negative into a positive situation that people can actually benefit
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: and learn from. So that's kind of my unique kind
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: of way of trying to, you know, use the platform
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: for good when you know it's a show that's not
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: necessarily about us or it's about drama, but how can
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: you find that silver light, you know and really turning
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: it till a great opportunity.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: That's a great point.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: As a step father, do you start off passive? Do
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: you find yourself at first just being more hands off
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: while maybe you gained the confidence and where you have
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: gained the trust I should say to step in and
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: become a little more of a father figure or would
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: you always kind of hand off the entire time?
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: So great question. One of the things is that you
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: know as soon as you come in and let's take
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: it from the beginner, right. It has some fun with
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: your saying you first meet the woman, right, and you know,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: you know what, I think she's amazing, And then all
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: of a sudden you like, okay, you got kids. Let
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: me meet the kids and see if they're not titlests.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: You know what, these are some good kids. I actually
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: enjoy being with them and everything is fun. Right, You're like,
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: all right, let's go to the park, let's go and
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: do this, let me show you this, let me teach
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: you this, And it becomes that type of a dynamic
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: because that's the role that you play, especially if there's
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: a single mom and a father is not in or around.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: You kind of take on that friend kind of a
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: role because you're still working on build a relationship with
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: the mom. Right, And once you decide all right, you know,
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I'm ready to take things forward and take it to
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: the next level. They a lot of the times like, oh,
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: you know what, he's a father, you know, come on,
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: and so you kind of get pulled in. But I
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: believe that women typically don't understand exactly what a man's
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: role is and teaching, especially a boy. Right.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So on the on the front end of things,
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: they kind of see the nice, positive, fun side of things,
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: which is, you know, the encouragement to support the jokes
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: they're playing basketball and things in the nature.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: But in order to teach a man how to really
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: be a man and a survive out in this world,
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: it comes with discipline. Now, discipline looks really different than
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: anything anyone has ever seen, because it's like, no, we're
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: not going to do this you're not doing this. Hey,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: this is the bedtime here, this is you know, And
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: so all of a sudden, structure starts to look like
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: a minute, this doesn't feel good. And even to that child,
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: it's like, wait, what is going on here? What happened
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: to that funny guy that would take me to the
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: park and getting ice, scream and let me do all
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: the things I'm you know, I wanted to do. And
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: so because the thing is, even as a stepfather or
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: even just coming in a dating phase, your goal is
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: to spend time with the you know, with the mom.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: You spend you do your little thing with the kids
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: and everything, and then it's like, all right, I'm off
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: to the you know, to spend time with your mother.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: But now that you are in the house and you're
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: living under one roof, there's a lot of structure that
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: you got to put in place. All right, pick up
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: your toys. You can't do this, you know, And so
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: that discipline looks different, and it's a way that you
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: have to roll it into and expectations that everyone needs
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: to have, especially even the biological mom. Right, it's like, hey,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: all right, and so what I learned is that I
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: learned a couple of I learned a lot. Actually, one
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: of the things you know, to answer your your question,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I would say, when you start off in a step
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: parenting situation, you really want to actually not come in
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: as this disciplinarian. You want to come in and let
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: the mother be the disciplinarian. You have to build trust
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: with that child. How do you build trust? You kind
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: of got to do it, and so you can. There's
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: a couple of their strategies that you can use, like
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: the savior method, right, and so the kid does something,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: the mom gets on them, and this is something it's
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: a game that you got to play, and you should
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: structure before you actually you know, and talk about it
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: like this is how we're going to do it. And
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: so we're gonna play good cop backop. The man should
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: be the bad the good cop. The woman should be
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: the back coop. But oh, you did this right here
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: you go get in trouble. No no, no, I have them,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: let me, let me talk to him. And now you
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: come in and he's the kid is like, man, you
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: saved me. And now the kid has starting to gravitate
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: and open up a little more to you. You shouldn't
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: have done that. But this is how we can go
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: and do it. And you take a different type of
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: an approach, and I believe that there's these lines. You
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: need to understand exactly what those lines should actually be.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: What do you want me to be in this relationship?
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Do you want me to be the disciplinarian? Do you
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: want me to be this? And so once you have
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: those boundaries set, now you can really be able to
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: move forward in the copating journey so that everyone is
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: on the same page and you're not being emasculated as
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: a man.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Because that's brilliant. It sounds like some CIA spy shit,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: but it is brilliant. I mean to really put your
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: heads together and come up with that plan. I can
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: see it working one hundred percent of the time. Because
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: my experience is that I had step children, but their
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: father was still in the picture. So I took an
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: approach of you know, I'm not going to step on
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: her shoes. As much as I have no respect for him,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: and as much as a dead beat dead he might be,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I can't step in that role. And the kids have
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: to kind of figure it out on their own. They're
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: not going to do it as young kids. And the
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: more he pushed them not to like us like me.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: The more he pushed them to, you know, saying all
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: these negative things about me, the more the kids realize, Okay,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: this guy's an asshole. And eventually it backfired on him
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and they ended up staying with us full time. But
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit easier, I don't know,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: not having the father in the picture, because then they
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: all they have to learn is from you. And if you,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: you know, play your cards right. And I love this
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: idea that you know, you guys put your heads together,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: good cop, bad cup. I think that's going to work
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent of the time because you're going to
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: gain their trust, and that's kind of what you're saying,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: right Edwin Lake. I have to gain their trust before
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I even step into that role of disciplinary or you know,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: guiding them.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I got really lucky with Bella's stepdad. I mean, he
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: could have been a better dad, and I've been kind
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: of hands off with that relationship and he's been great
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: and I haven't had to even get into what their
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: relationship is. He's always been very supportive. So but yeah,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I think to your point, I think it does change
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: the dynamic when the dad's not around as much. Yeah,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I think probably a little easier. Although for me, I've
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: been around for Bella and it was it's always and
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: easy with the step dad and I, uh so I
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: got really lucky with him.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: But so you see all of these different dynamics that
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: we have here, right, Yeah, we have, you know, three men,
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: three completely different scenarios, you know, and I think that's
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: the that's the big thing about it, you know, being
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: able to really talk about it, and that's what the
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: book was about. Ended up getting killed before I could
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: actually release it, and you know.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: To get killed us a good old D, the good
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: old D, the good old D. You know. So yeah, So, well,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: before we get into that, I'm curious, So you played
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: football then obviously got into music. What did you do
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: first to do the football thing first or was it
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: always you were doing at the same time football music?
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Obviously you want to Rutgers, so you were obviously pretty
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: good at football if you played Division one? So what
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: what what were you doing first? And how did business
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: come in? Was it more of I want to make
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: good money? Is this is why I want to get
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: into business? Or was the drive on that.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like I was one of those Well, let
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: me start off with the first part of it. I
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: got into music when I was young, so I wanted
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: to play drums. I went to my mom had us
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: in church early on, and she would you know. The
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: thing is is that she would catch the holy doors.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Sometimes she was slacky, you know, so you never knew
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: what it was ever coming, right, So all of a
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: sudden you just had to watch out for the backhand
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: with the Holy Spirit hit you, you know. So so
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I need to find
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: a different seat. So playing their drums was a real
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: safe place at the front by the drum set, and
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: I'm just watching it, and I just gravitated towards music anyway,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: so you know, that was the main thing that I
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: was actually going towards. I realized that playing drums you
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: sweated a lot, and so I was like, you know what,
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: I need to play keys. And then actually it was funny.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: One of my guys when I was playing football in
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: North Carolina. I went to Millburgh High School, and he
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: came into the locker room one day he was like, man,
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: I played the piano for my ground. She started crying.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I was like, what teaching me? S? You know, So
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: he taught me basically like and got me started playing
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: my first song, and that's kind of how I got started.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, one of my friends
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: that I was working on production with his father, came
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: to me and was like, Hey, you know what, I
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: heard you dipping dabble on a piano. How about I
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: hiring you to play at my church. I'll pay me
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: fifty dollars a Sunday, now, mind you you know. I
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: was like, yes, I'm a bluck college student. This was
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: absolutely amazing. So I started doing that also, but I've
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: always had a business kind of a mindset. I played football,
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: so you could say the music came first because I
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: came at a young age. Then football naturally came with school,
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: you know, And so I was actually doing that on
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: the side, and so some days I was going to
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: play at church, so I'll break off and do that,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: and so, you know, so that's what ended up happening.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: I graduated, I started doing internships in college of course,
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: naturally like many of us do, and that's kind of
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: where I ended up going and getting into technology. I
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: ended up getting a job at this company called Starter Systems,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: and that kind of got me on the way, So
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: that put me pretty much right in technology, and so
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: from there that's pretty much been like the wheelhouse. So
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: and then on top of that the real estate. I
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: think real estate is something that everybody should be a
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: part of regardless. But I came up during that time
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: where we had the housing bubble. So as soon as
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: I graduated college really started getting my feet wet. All
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: of a sudden that happened, and I'm like, oh, we
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: got some other problems. And so it's been a it's
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: been a really interesting journey, but I've been enjoying it
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: so far and just having some fun.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: So the college years, were you more of a girlfriend
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: type or were you like single, living it up, football player,
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: just you know, living it up, partying.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: A little bit of both, a little bit of both.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: So you know, you got you got the mixed bag.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: It's like when you come from high school where you're like, oh,
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: this is what it is. Then you go to college
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: You're like, wait a minute, it's like a new world.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just your mind is blown. And so
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: but I tried to make sure I was a little
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: focused as much as I could be. But at the
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: same time, you know, I loved I had my fun.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: I can say I enjoyed college. I lived it up.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Did you ever aspire to play for the NFL or
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: were you just doing it because of the passion of football?
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: You know what I thought, that wasn't I did it
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: for the passion of football. I felt like I always
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: have these different things, even watching football. Now, I'm like, man,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: I should have did this, I shouldn't make this, should
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I should have walked hard? You know, like you got
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: all these different regrets now. But you know, it wasn't
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: something to where I was like, all right, I'm going
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: to the NFL with it. I was there. I wanted
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: to play it that I wanted to prove something to
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: myself that I was able to compete and play at
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: a different level. And then what ended up happening was
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: just because of my dynamic. I grew up in a
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: single family household, and I got to a place where
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: you know, and when I walked, I actually walked onto
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: the team. I walked onto the team. So when I
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: got on, you know, of course you got to earn
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: your stripes. At that point you got to really really
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: work because everybody's getting their head chopped off. And so
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: for me, I had to put in that work. But
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: at the same time, you need money, you know, so
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: it's like, all right, how do you really be able
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: to balance this because you got anybody that's on scholarship
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: and then you're over here, you know, trying to do
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: it all. So it was it was one of those
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: kind of things. And so what ended up happening is
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: is money started catching up to me. So I'm like,
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: I got to get my business fast, and so you
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: got to pay for this thing, right, it's not going
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: to feed itself. And then I'm starting to acquire new bills,
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I got a car, I'm trying to do different things.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: And so life started taking taking this away. And then
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I ended up just jumping out getting into business. And
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: you know, I pretty much had a pretty successful career.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: So how were your parents or you said single family
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: home you grew up in.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Mom or dad mom mom?
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And do you have siblings that grew up with you
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: in that same household?
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: You got it. So I have a little brother, Brian.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you were younger, you were the oldest. Okay,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I was What I'm getting at is what really inspired
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: you to be so motivated?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: What what got you?
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Did you have a mentor. Did you have a vision?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Did you just feel like you're always motivated? How did
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: what drives you? You know?
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Interesting? I just wanted more out of life. You know.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: I felt like I watched my mother struggle, and so
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: I kind of became the man in my house at
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: a really, really young age. My mom should get kind
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: of pissed off of me about that, like, Ralph, you're
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: a kid, I'm no, Mom, we got to be doing this.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: As matter of fact, my brother got a really interesting story.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: So one day my mother gives me some us some
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: money to go in and buy a snack from the store.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: And you know, he takes the money and sends five
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: dollars on something. I'm like, no, you can't send that.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: We got to save that money for our house, Like,
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: you know, that was the thing. I had my mind
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: set on what we can actually go and do, So
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: let's save this money, not spend it. And man, and
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: it a real big thing. So we got into this
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: huge argument around him just sending extra money trying to
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: be a kid. But I think it was I was
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: always kind of just ambitious. I just wanted more out
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: of life. I felt like I had something called I
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: would call inspirations. So what I would do is I
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: would ride my bike pass these really really big houses
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: and I would just go and just visualize and see
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: it all the time, like, man, I need the house.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: I want that. I feel like I can get it.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: And I would do that pretty regularly. So I wanted
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: to see what other people were doing, you know, that
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: wasn't a product of my environment and how they were
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: able to be successful in attaining that. And I'll never
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: put any kind of limitations on myself.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: So that was it.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: So everything I've acquired, I would say, is been through
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: visualization and really just wanting and expecting more out of life.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Kind of watching others. Right, that reminds me. I had
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: some pretty wealthy friends, and every time I went to
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: their house, I was like, Wow, this is how you're
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: supposed to live, right, right, right?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Do this?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: You know, even today when I go to some really
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: rich people's homes, I'm like, this is how they're supposed
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: to live. But I don't know where I'm going to
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: get one hundred million dollars for this house.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Well it makes sense, right, You got to familiarize yourself
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: with the dream, right, You have to familiar you know
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: that story resonates with me because that's what I used
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: to do at fifteen years old. Is I just started
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: familiarizing myself with the dream. You know, even it just
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: reminds me when I couldn't afford the houses that I loved.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I would I call it taking action before you have
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: what you need. I would stay at a hotel at
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: least for a day in that same area, so I
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: could just get used to being in that area. And
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: then eventually you start to think, Okay, maybe I do
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: belong here. And then it's funny, your subconscious mind will
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: figure out a way to go get it. But if
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: you don't actually familiarize yourself with the dream, that dream
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: will never happen. You have to mimilarize it. You have
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: to touch the dream before you have what you need
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: for sure.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like tasting a fine steak versus you know,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: McDonald's burger steak. It's just so different.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: It's, well, you figured you can't improve on something you're
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: not aware of, right right, Like if you've I remember,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: for years, i'd never fly first class, like I'm not
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: spending money on that ship. Yeah, And then all of
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: a sudden I did. I'm like I ain't going back.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: To them, you know.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: But then before I didn't know what it was, right, right,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I was just like, I'd rather buy me a seven
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: hundred dollars short than freaking paste, you know, an extra
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: eight hundred bucks for first class, you know, I was,
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: but I knew fashion, I didn't know first class, and
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: I sat first class. I was like, all right, never again.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: You know that's exactly it, you know what. So I
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: had two mentors also because I do believe it's you know,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: being able to visualize, and then also the people that
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: you have that actually pours and takes time out of
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: their way. So I believe people come into your life
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: for three things, right, for a reason, a season in
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: a lifetime. Sometimes they're just to really be able to
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: help you along the journey. So I had a mentor
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: that was in technology. His name was Fred Song, and
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: he actually helped me get in the sales. He was like, yo, Rock,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: what are you doing? He was like, man, you're an extrovert.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: He was like, you know, you got personality here, like
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: this is where you need to be and this is
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: where people are really making money. And I'm like, oh really.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: So he took me under his wings started getting me
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: different interviews and stuff like that, and really just helping me,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: even taking time to Ralph you're not pronouncing his work correctly,
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: you know, if this kind of bites me here, you know,
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: So he would take time to actually say certain things.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: And I had another mentor luiage of why and he
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: actually was like a cio of cardinal health when I first,
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: you know, I had an internship. And so watching him
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: like Jesus Helm the letter pretty quickly, like what did
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: you do? And so also just picking people's brains and
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: seeing what their habits are and seeing how they thought
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: and you know, how they moved. And so when I
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: love what you just said, right, you know, getting into
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: it and also getting around it, you know, getting around
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: the environment of it. You know, even if you want to,
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I'd rather be the poorest person in a room than
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: you know, the richest person in the room any day,
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: because you can't learn from anybody who can't pull for someone.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: You need somebody. I just want to help gravitate and
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: pull you up.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Because when you're at the top, everybody wants to be everywhere.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants your place right exactly exactly, So now you're
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: fighting everybody to stay on your platform exactly.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, you know it's funny is with Ralph.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: You know we said at the beginning, he's obviously very talented.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: He does different things, all these different things. He's really
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: good at him Another thing is really good at his fun.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Because I had a bunch of fun with I had
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: fun with him in Vegas. Ralph and I hung out
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: with Drew Teddy. This is what three years ago, right
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: or two three years ago? I think it was three
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: years ago. I mean we had a last and who
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: would have thought both of us now would be in
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: the middle of a divorce back then? Can you imagine
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: if we told Yeah, yep, I did not know what
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that, man, No, man, But who
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: would have known that? Right? We had such a blast.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I mean you think we were like both in like
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: these perfect relationships with how fun we had, how much
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: fun we had, and uh, you know, I bet if
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: I would have told you, hey, two years fromw you're
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: gonna be divorced, So you would have told me two
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: years from now I was going to be divorced or
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: in the middle of it, I told you freaking crazy, seriously,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: you know, Yeah, So I guess in two years a
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: lot or two whatever, it was two three years. I
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: think it was more like two years. A lot of
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: stuff can actually change. Uh So, but before we get
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: into that, how'd you how'd you meet?
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Drew?
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: And I guess where did some of these issues start
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: popping out?
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: So we actually met. We met actually in Los Angeles,
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: So I ended up taking a trip out there and
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: I was at a I was at a gala. She
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: ended up coming into the hotel and like instantly, I
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: think we kind of hit it all ended up going
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: and connecting and we just got married really really fast.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: Everything moved quick, you know, so literally I was I
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: think I was in a state of readiness, right, I think,
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: you know, living a dream and being in Hollywood for
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: a while, it starts to get to you after a while,
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: you know it. So I ended up going. We ended
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: up dating for three I proposed three months. We were
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: married in five months. She was creating in eight months.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: So it moved really fast. But we had a lot
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: of fun during that stage, you know, during those particular times,
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: and I felt like it was like, all right, this
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: is my Bonnie and Clyde. We used music is what
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: also kept us together because she was singing. She's an
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: amazing singer by the way, you know, so she's an
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: amazing sing I would produce and we would make songs
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: for sound different movie soundtracks and everything like that. So
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: it was it was amazing. I ended up playing for
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: a mom's church, like it was just a lot of
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: different synergies there. And then all of a sudden we
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: just got to the place where things just started to
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: just flourish. And at that point, once Mackay wash once
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: she was preyning with Makay, I was like, all right,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: everything got to change, you know, the fun that we
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: were having, everything has to look different. Now we have
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: to go and create a different world. We ended up
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: moving from la to Chicago so that we can be
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: around support and I had to just go out there
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: and just kind of take over the world. She had
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: to sit down because of course she was you know,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: she was pregnant, and so therefore it was pretty much
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: just like all on me just to make sure, you
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: know that everything was just taken care of, which I
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: was honored to actually go and do. And we ended
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: up having a pretty good life.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: And then we got the call for us and how
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: many years into the relationship did you get that call.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Now you're in Atlanta, right.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Now, I'm in Atlanta. Yes, we got the call. She
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: got the call. I didn't here it, but you know,
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: I was extremely reluctant. I was like, no, not at all.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Were you familiar with the show when you got the call,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: like you knew about it?
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I start with it. I've seen people getting destroyed.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: And you want me to do what exactly?
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: So I said no. I think they were talking about
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: it for two years. I think she was talking about
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: going on it by herself. And I was like, I
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: don't want no parts of it. I made great money
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: to begin with. There's no reason for me to actually
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: go and do it. And on top of that, what's
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: the benefit for me. It's not it's a thinkless it's
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: a thinkless place to be, you know.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: And so the guys don't get paid. I do have
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: a problem with not with working for free.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, Ralph might get paid. I heard he does some confessionals.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: By the way, what's the secret to get on the confessionals?
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in any confessionals that shows out and.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Doing a lot of money for confessionals.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: How did you get in there?
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: On the confessionals, Ralph.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Go through a divorce. That's the way from back door.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: That's how you do it, man.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Man. But you know, so I, you know, I said
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: no for a very long time, and then I ended
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: up I ended up saying, Okay, I'll do it. This
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: is the thing though, I kind of got bamboozled into
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: doing it because Drew told me that they were going
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: to be paying her thirty thousand dollars an episode to
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: do it, and I started doing the math, easy number.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Oh so no brainer, let's go, you know. And of
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: course at that point, at that time, she was a
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: stay at whole mother, and so going from zero to
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: you know, twenty episodes thirty thousand dollars an episode six
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: hundred thousand dollars, I'm like, all right, cool, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: totally was not back at all. So but by that time,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: you pretty we were pretty much on it. We already
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: had moved relocated to Atlanta, uh, and then pretty much
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: set up shop. But I was always under the impression
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: of that particular number, and so of course we have
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: to go and do a test that they got to
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: make sure that they actually want you, because it's a
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: difference between them calling you and saying, yeah, we're excited
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: to have you, but they want to see how you
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: actually blend in with the with the other housewives.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: You know, a full interview.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Well yeah, they we call they called it a test. Okay,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: you know, so you're doing you're doing basically the test
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: where you're on. But you know how camera magic. They'll
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: have cameras on everybody, but they can eily put you out. Nah,
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: you did well in the interviews, you know, you said
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: the right things. But once you get around the girls,
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: you know, for drews per Se, you know, it's if
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: the energy wasn't there, she couldn't hold her own, or
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: if she kind of just shut down, then they can't
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: use you. They can't do anything with you. So they'll
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: touch you out and you will never exist on a show.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I had no idea because the way they've done it
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: in Orange County is they just pick them, throw them
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: on the show, and they they're sink or swim, and
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: you know, it's it's never like, hey, let's just get together,
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: see if there's some dynamics, what what chemistry there might
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: be there, what you know, what potential might be with
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: the cast. They never do that. They never ever did
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: they just throw them in here and like, okay, now
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: we got to deal with this.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we've seen probably before because we came in during COVID.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: But there were some people that actually was assuming that
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: we never saw again, you know, so, and they they
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: easily cut them right out. Maybe sometimes you may see
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: like an arm of a person, but you never see
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: the actual person because they cut you out. Yeah, of
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: course that's a way for you to pay you. Of course.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Also if you never appear on cameras, you never appear,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: so you never do anything. Thank you, Good luck to you.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: So how did that change your life? Notoriety? Now, now
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: what happens you're on the show. Are you getting I
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: mean obviously options probably increase, Your d ms are probably
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: blowing up. Now, Uh get a little fan club? I
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: did you start dealing with all that?
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Your business brain is going?
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: How can I leverage this?
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: Yes? I came on pretty unique. Also, I came on
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: pretty explosive, probably one of the most explosive guys okay history,
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: and it was became in hot Wait.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: So but did you get naked in the hot tub?
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: I did not do that.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Day one South porn style.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: It was all downhill. After day one, Bro, where do
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I go from here?
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: Serious? Serious?
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Tell us, tell us about your first day, like your
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: big day.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: So I ended up so my infamous storyline, so I
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: don't have the hot tub being naked, you know, but
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: I went to Tampa. Tampa became my storyline that everybody
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: just talked about and it was just crazy. But the
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: crazy the interesting part is that I went to Tampa
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: before we started filming. So of course I'm naive. I
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: don't know how we have a TV work. So I'm thinking,
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: if it didn't happen on camera, it doesn't exist, you know.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and no face, no case exactly, you know it.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: So basically our first day filming, uh, they wanted to
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: film actually doing our real anniversary, and so I'm like, no, guys,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: you know, this is our anniversary. I'm not gonna We're
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: not going to do it. They're like, it's not gonna
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: be long. We just need you for an hour. I'm
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: like okay. So we went and I was like, all right,
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: it's our anniversary. I'm gonna roll out the carpet and
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: we just go on, you know, really celebrate.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: I pulled up my iPad on how I proposed and
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: Drew I was like, literally jus frying happy, which I love,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: by the way, you know. So she give me all
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: the things I tucked, the covered strawberries. I'm like, look,
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: this is when I asked Jojo, can I marry you?
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: And you know, and it was like all of these
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: different things. The producer came out. He was like, yeah,
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: that's all good. He was like, but let's talk about
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: where he went. I was like, oh, really, but that's
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: what you want to give him, Like all right, whatever.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: And the thing is that this is the crazy thing
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: I never already spoken to Drew about like where I went,
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: because I mean I did leave during a pandemic. It
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: was kind of crazy. She had broke she had tore
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: her achilles, she had an infection. I had gotten really
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: pissed off also because we were just arguing about school
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: and all these other things that was happening. This is backstory.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: She didn't want to go to a doctor's appointment to
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: see because he had a staff infection, so she canceled
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: the doctor's appointment for the staff infection to go and
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: to go and be with the kids doing homeschool, you know.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, wait a minute, I was like, but
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: if you have a staff infection, you die. The log
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: of people decision to go to the doctors forget about
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: the first day. Assuming you know, we got I can
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: do it. Your mother's here. We are fine with that,
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: go to the doctors. So we get into the argument,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: and you know, some other things happen. We get into
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: the car, have a huge argument, and then she and
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: then after that, she said some things that I felt
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: that was extremely disrespectful, and I was like, you know what,
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: I gotta I gotta get out of here. I need
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: a break, so I'll leave you.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: I go to I don't know where I'm going. I
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: go to Tampa. Look in Tampa, go to the beach.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: I'm running. Mind you, it was the pandemic, so everybody
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: had COVID, you know, so it was just me up.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: There's a ghost town, so I go there. I'm out
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: there for a second. Then I come back home, falling
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: place like nothing ever happened. We go through the filming,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: and then when that happened, we get into this argument
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: and she's like, you know, Ralph, where did you go?
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's not about and I thought I
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: said something very poetic, right, I was like, it's not
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: about where I went, it's about why, because that's going
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: to prevent me from going again. I thought I said
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: something very fun. Man. He took that. They took that
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: sound like me, and that's what ended up happening. So
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: they were where did you go? Where did you go?
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: So all the women started attacking me and everything like that.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: When it council, I would say this. When that episode
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: came on, it was a sad day. I was up
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: in the closet holding myself. It was.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: So how long were you gone for?
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: No left food?
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: What?
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Three days? Okay?
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: So three days like just not answering anything.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. We talked, Oh, we talked. We talked all
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: the time, you know, be a text message, you know,
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: like hey, you know this person is going to come
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: over to the house, X, Y and Z. But it
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: wasn't anything to where I was just like gone and
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: rolled off the face of the earth.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I think that's fine. I thought you left for like
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: three days and just didn't pick up your phone.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: No, not at all. She she wasn't contact with me
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: pretty much time. But it was just I needed a break,
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: I did. I needed a break. Yeah, I needed a break.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: So and I understand now, I understand exactly the impact
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: of me doing that. You know, I should have communicated
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: I didn't know where I was going to begin with,
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: but by the way, I should have just been like, hey,
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: look this is where I'm you know, this is where
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: I'm going and x y Z. But I thought that
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: if the reality of it is is that, and I
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: don't have nothing bad to say, right, I don't have
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: anything bad to say because you and I are not
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: in a terrible place or nothing like that. But but
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: I would say that going through that process, I would
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: have thought that she would have responded differently, like it'd
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: been just a regular conversation. I just didn't expect her
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: to kind of like go off about it and start crying,
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: because that's not what I typically would experience with her.
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: So he caught me off guard. But you know, but
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: she's a great actress, so she kind of played into
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: this damsel in distress roll and I'm sitting here like wait,
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: what is going on? And my ass And so from
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: there I had to figure out exactly how to start navigating.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I'm the villain, yep, all right, said
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: I'm the villain. How do I make sure that I
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: could be a great villain because you know, as guys,
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: what we could do is instead of when instead of
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: you going in and getting make it in the strip
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: in the uh say the script car, but getting maked
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: in a jacuzzie, you could have just been sitting at
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: home and never opening your mouth and just refusing to
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: do anything right right, it's quiet, because I mean that's
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: something that we could do. But this is where I
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: say the men are dynamic because we get in there
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: and we roll our sleeves up and we act the
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: fool also, which also guarantees the women another season because
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: that's a story line there. You know, what did he do?
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Oh my god?
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: And so by that dynamic, you become a household name
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: yourself because you're this infamous husband. And the husband's player
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: a huge role, especially, I would say, you know, especially
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: in Atlanta, you know, with Todd and and all these guys,
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Peter and Apollo. During that era, the guys were dominating.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: They were like they were a little crazy. Then I
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: came in. It was me and Todd and Ross. You know,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: we were doing our thing. We would have good conversation.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: I would bring out to call me day in the kitchen,
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: aprons and everything like that, which we were doing some things.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: And then also it's like, all right, if we're going
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: to play into it, we're gonna do TV. Let's let's
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: really do it. Yeah, and which is going to guarantee
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: you're going to stay on the show. But also let's
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: create some opportunity. So the business ed you said it, right,
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: the business mind starts going off like, all right, this
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: is an opportunity to be able to capitalize. All right,
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: this and how to go and do it? Because if
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: you do something and it's not enough, let's use the
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: word if it's not enough, not I should say, you
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: can say tension or or controversy, it won't make the show.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: It has to be controversial in order for to do it.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: And so we did it, like literally, I feel like
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Drew and I were at a place where we were
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: actually having almost we were at a place where we
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: were both having really big scenes. Would I had her
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: doing music which I also produced music already know, you know,
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: So that's the name of the song that I produced
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: with her, and so I had that being the storyline,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: and then I had the book being the storyline also,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: So she's doing her music journey. I'm doing the book
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: journey all at the same time during the season, and
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I mean that, right, there's two major opportunities to make money,
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: you know, outside of this, because the thing about reality
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: TV that I think people don't realize is once the
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: cameras go down and they say you're done, literally all
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: your money stops. So if they're paying you half a million,
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: a million, two million dollars, that is gone as soon
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: as they touch you, and you got to figure out
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: how to make that two million back if that's a
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: part of your lifestyle, and that's where a lot of
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: people end up, you know, getting themselves killed because they
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: can't handle they didn't create enough businesses to be able
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: to sustain themselves once their life turns off.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Right, did you have any season where you didn't have
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: any drama or where they are drama ones.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: I'm having drama right now, and I'm like, I've always
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: found myself in drama for some reason, even when I
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: don't ask, I try to be good. I was like,
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: all right, this is gonna be a tom year for me,
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: and then my name just gets thrown in there because
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm collateral damage all the time. It's like,
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: if you need a storyline, Paul use Ross, there you go.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Ralphield, do it?
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: So are you still so? Speaking of that?
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: So are you?
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: Are you?
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: You're living? Are you still living in the basement? That's
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: the last.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: Basement right now. So this is my grand studio here.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: I had my podcast and everything, but this is the
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: podcast area here. So yeah, I'm still here.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Well, let's let's rewind back a little bit more before
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: we go into that. I I know that, and I'm
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: sure Edwin can agree. There is a not a stigma,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: but kind of a curse of the Real Housewife show
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: where there's a lot of divorces in the show. Do
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: you feel like the show kind of of forced this
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: stealth in the cracks of your relationship that that contributed
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: to the divorce or did you have divorce as one
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: of the things in your mind, like I don't know
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: if this is going to be a forever relationship. You know,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: it was that divorce the d word around before the
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: show or was it prominent once you got on the show?
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Great question. I would say that I talked about divorce
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: before the show actually did come all around, just because
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: I feel like from a compatibility perspective, we didn't have
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: an opportunity to know each other as well as I
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: probably would have needed to know each each other. Right,
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: You really need time to really establish with someone to
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: understand are you. We We have compatibility on all these
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: various different levels, and there's nothing that's going to break.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: And so what ended up happening in my situation, I
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: would say the show contributed because I would have saved.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: And I feel like men do a really great job
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: of just suffering regardless. I wanted to make sure, not
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: before anything else. I'm a father and I love my
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: kids with all my heart, and so I would have
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: saved because I don't believe in having anyone else raising
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: my kids. I want to make sure that I can
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: pour into them. I didn't have my father as much
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: in my life as much as I wanted to to
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: begin with, and so I told myself, you know, even
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: as I'm building all of these different things, I'm making
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: sure that I build myself up and my kids up
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: to be the best they could possibly be, you know,
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: to make sure I can give them the values and
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: pour into them so they don't have a life that
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: I had where I had to try to figure out
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: certain things on my own. I'm going to make sure
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: Dad is there for them and they know I'm here,
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: and so I would have stayed in sacrificed regardless of
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: anything else. I think what ended up happening is and
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: this happens. I think the curses for a lot of
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: people women And I'm gonna say this, I'm controversial any rest.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: I believe that what happens is is you get onto
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: these platforms and it's so much pressure. Because I felt
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: that Drew wouldn't have an issue because she was an
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: actress already. I'm like, all right, so you're used to this, right.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: I feel like people lose them women who lose themselves
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: with reality TV a lot because all of a sudden,
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: they all of a sudden become these megastars overnight, and
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: how do you deal with it? What I would say
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: is from an actress perspective, I think the thing that
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: people don't realize is a pressure that comes with being
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: a housewife. Right. So, as a regular actress, you people
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: love you and they're around you because they're like, oh man,
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: this role right here, you get this. You mean so
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: much to me, This meant this. You can speak about
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: your passion nobody's prilicizing you about what you got on,
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: that your makeup isn't right, you know, you know, cure
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: yourself over your hair, like it's these all of these things.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden you find yourself in
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: this position where every single year you got to elevate.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: Oh I got to look better because they're going to
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: come after me. They're going to come after me. And
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: so you find people and I don't know if this
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: is on your franchise, but it's definitely on ours, where
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: everyone is trying to keep up with the Joneses and
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: become something. But becoming something means more money, and you
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: send all your money trying to give this look and
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: you don't have anything at the end of the day.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: But you become a great star and you've got people
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: that's applauding you and like, yeah, girl, you this looks great.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: Oh man, your fashions are great. You know, now this
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: is what you need to be doing. But that right there,
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: it comes with a huge financial strain. And once you
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: stop and once you stop looking at things the right way,
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: because this is what I would say business. Let's talk
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: business for a second. At some level, with all businesses
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: there's going to be costs and expensive that's associated with it.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: You've got to get to a place where you kind
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: of get net neutral, where you can actually sustain your costs,
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: you know, and once you do that, because that's the
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: only way you're going to get into profitability. All right, Cool,
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: I've spent enough money here. We're gonna have to keep
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: what we currently have here because it's good enough, and
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: we're going to need to just focus on just building revenue.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: If you don't have that access, then you're going to
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: kill yourself because there's no way to be able to
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: keep up. And so I believe that we kind of
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: got ourselves lost in that particular journey on top of
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: you know, the glitz, the glamour and that, you know,
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: and the different storylines. And I think so that I
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: think that's one big one. I think the other big
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: one for us was that I believe that the storyline, like,
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: for instance, if you come in and you're with the ships,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: that's what I would call it, right, If you're gonna
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: be something, you got to be with the ships and
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: you gotta have fun with it, right. But like for instance,
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: if I'm gonna so Eddie, if I'm gonna make you
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: my if I'm going to tell you, hey, we're gonna
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: play good cop, bad cop, you're gonna be bad cop. Right,
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: And we're in a situation I can't you know, at
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, once you put your back
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: coop role, I can't keep you being bad you know,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: I got to pull you back up. But man, Eddie
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: is good man. He did that. You know, we did that.
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: And now all of a sudden we played a game.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: But I can't go and say Eddie, you know man, yeah,
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: like man Eddie was a straight asshole with us. I
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: can't be like, yeah, he did. I mean, he's terrible.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: I can't because then all of a sudden the game,
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: we lose the game. Now all of a sudden, you're
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: looking at it like, wait a minute, I did this
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: for you. There is something for you, right, you can't
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: leave you in that position. I think in our case,
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: it was like I played the role of the bad
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: you know, the bad boy, whatever it is. I was
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: the villain. But you can villainize me forever. You got
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: to also pull me up. And so that's the things
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: of humanizing me, right.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: I think what happens is if a woman makes you
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: being really bad, then you're going to be bad and
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: there's nothing you can do. The show is not about us.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: You don't really have a chance to see who you
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: really are. They don't know, you know what I'm saying
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: when they don't know that you're over here cooking breakfast
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: and you're doing all these great things, you know, and
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: you're being this charming person, you know, this charming man,
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: because the cameras aren't there, and even if they are there,
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: they won't show it because that doesn't fit the storyline
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: that they're trying to show. So you need the woman
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: to bring you up or to make you neutral. I
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: think Cynthia Bailey for my show, she did a really
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: good job of just making sure that she can at
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: least humanize people and not be, you know, not be
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: this big victim. But you know, at the end of
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: the day, it's a journey you kind of go through it.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: I learned a lot, i would say, and I learned
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: that people don't care, you know, like people don't hear
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: about who you are and what you show up as.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: It's only a real small community that really truly do
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: want to get to know you, and a lot of
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: them are your family. You know, even friends can turn
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: against you because they're like, look at this headline. You
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: did this, You're trying to take her business. I'm like,
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: I am the business. What are you talking about? This
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: is there's all my money? What a he's talking about here?
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: You know, even when it comes out of this house.
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: So you've mentioned even the beat in a basement. It's
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: a double edged sword. You're damned if you do, damned
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: if you don't. If you leave the house all of
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: a sudden, you abandon the kids. When you lose the kids, yeah,
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: if you say you're a sick they can't afford to
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: go and live on your own. I'm like, oh, so
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: it's like, nah, I guess I'm gonna just have to
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: take it. I love my kids. I want to make
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: sure I'm here with them. I'm not going to lose
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: the relationship with them. They have to fight like hell
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: because it's a money game in the courts. To try
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: to really get, you know, have access to your kids.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: You have to prove yourself. But leaving is the worst
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: thing you can do because you pretty much give up
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: your right to your kids.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, Ralph, what people
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: don't realize that watch the show, is that we are
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: real people. We're going to make decisions based on our
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: you know, ability to survive this situation in our lifetime.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: So when you have to stay in the same household,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: who gives a fuck? And nobody should ever care or
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: have to know the truth? This is your real life
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: and you're going through it, and it's somewhat private, you know,
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: but because you're a public person, you can't blink without
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: you know, the fucking story coming out. So oh, your
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: eye wasn't dark enough or you didn't blink fast enough.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: You know, It's just I get it. We signed up
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: for that. But when it comes to the reality of
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: our world, if you have to, you know, live in
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: the same house for as long as you have to,
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: who cares with people? There's so many, so many judgments
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: that are going to come at you because of whatever
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: decision you make. But just stay true to yourself and
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: understand that nobody, like you said, nobody cares the true outcome,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: the end result. Only you do. And as long as
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: you feel good about what you're doing, that's all that matters. Really,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: It's all that matters, not what the audience thinks. And
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: I think You're right, some of the women do get
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: kind of caught up with that one of my biggest
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: problems on our franchise, and I don't know if it's
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: also across all the other franchises, but it's the fakeness,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: you know, when they come up with fake storylines. And
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I learned something really interesting yesterday. I was on Jeff
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: Lewis radio show and he said something about how important
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: it is when you're a housewife coming onto the Housewife
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Network or show world that if you were, you know,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: a secretary at a law firm when you got cast,
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: then you stay a secretary at a law firm and
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: continue that as your life, as your career. Just because
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: you're getting paid good amount of money being on the
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: show doesn't mean you have to quit what you're doing,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: because then your story goes out the window and now
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: you're kind of fumbling, like I got to make some
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: shit up so I can be interesting, because all I
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: got going is I'm a housewife, paid housewife, and that's
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: that interesting. So that that was a really interesting point
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: that Jeff made yesterday, and I learned something new about
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: this whole journey all the time, you know, And I
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: think that's one of the reasons why I enjoy talking
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: to you guys. I mean, at least the good guys
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: on the show. I'm not to talk to all the
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: criminals that have been on the show yet, that is funny.
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: So, Ralph, do you ultimately think that the show caused
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: the divorce?
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: I think it's what. I think it's what cracked the
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: door open, you know. And I think we were probably
• 51:30
  Speaker 5: at a place where we perfect, you know what, you
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: know what interesting enough, this is something interesting that juwe
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: told me. She was just like, well, Ralph, I brought
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: I talked about real problems that we were already dealing with,
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: and I just didn't know.
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: Those problems existed, you know. So and so it was like,
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: why would you bring me on on television to talk
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: to me about something if it's a real thing. I mean,
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: this is the worst place to do it, because I
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: don't believe you said in a second right. People bring
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: up fake storylines all the time.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: I know what it is.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: It's entertainment. It's not the news, you know. So you're
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: doing entertainment. You want to show glimpses of real life,
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: but also you're going to really make focus on making
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: great TV yeah, so so, but I think going through
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: this it really cracked the door, you know, to where
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: things just started becoming exposed and it just became too challenging.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: So I would say yes because I would have definitely
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: guaranteed I would have stayed in my marriage just for
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: the simple fact, you know, I wanted to make sure
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I'm in my kid's life, and we would have just
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: figured it out. I've done it several times over. You know,
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: I could have left a long long time ago. I
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: chose to say, so I would say I would say
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: yes to definitely that this show impacted our relationship, how
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: about you?
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you know it's interesting that you mentioned
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: I mean communication, right. I also had no idea that
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: and Teddy has said this as well, so I can
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: say it. I had no idea our relationship was in
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: a bad place. I thought we were in a great place.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: But she just never communicated that to me. So that
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: part I was surprised with, which again it sounds like
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: that's what you said as well, right where you were
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: sort of surprised that you didn't really know there was
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: some issues.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: But the thing about it is is that you know, yeah,
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: that part but on TV, she makes it this big thing.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: But in private, it's like, oh, Ralph, I love you.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: You know, everything's and so it's weird. I'm like, which
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: one are you here? You know?
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Is a different when the cameras are around, they have
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: pers That's my.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Big problem, you know, It's like it's continuity. It's continuity.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: I got to take you where people last saw you,
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, forget about what they lost. Tell me
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: this is reality. We're going to just how about we
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: just live in today, you know, and the present into
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: who we are today and treat me the way you
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: would treat me today when it can are off, not
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: when they're on. And so we I have a problem
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: with it because I feel like it's not real. Our
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: story isn't real for us and to us, and it's
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: not showing who we you know, who you really are,
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: because it's.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Like I don't I don't think you honestly, to hit
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: on your point, Ralph, I don't think normal people have
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: real stories that are interesting. We're just normal fucking people.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: But we got some really smart producers and editors that
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: create this storyline right the storyline editor, and they create
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: this pretty amazing show that's been going on for twenty years.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: So I got to give them the credit for being
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: so creative and so successful with putting you know, boring
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: non acting you know, trained people on TV and making
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: a huge success out of it. Right, We're just normal
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: people and we're not trained actors, and I don't know
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: how to use all my levels of voices and face,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: show lip, you know, and all kinds of skills that
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: real acting people get, you know. So we're just making
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: it up as we go, and we're doing life as
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: we go. So you know that, I got to give
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: them credit for putting together such an awesome successful show
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: for almost twenty years now.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: Agreed, I definitely agree. Definitely couldn't agree with some more
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: on that one.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: What was the tipping point with the decision to get divorced?
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Like what happened that caused either you or her to file?
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: What was the catalyst?
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: It was an affair?
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, it wasn't affair.
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, it was an affair? And was it you you
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: know what? Actually?
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: Okay? But do you know the funny thing is so
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: a couple of all the things that I learned, right,
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: because you know, of course this is my first marriage.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: I haven't been through this journey before. So I thought
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: that people were just going to have a conversation, like look,
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: so what I did was, you know, it was a Saturday,
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: and how they look need to have a conversation. This
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: is what I want to do.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: I think we should go to Cecha ways YadA, you know,
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: and I want to file. I'm going to file for divorce.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: And so you know, she's like, all, that's what you
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: want to do. And so we had that conversation on Saturday.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: On Monday, basically her when we went and tried to
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: go and FIU. So it was like a race. That's
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: another thing I like. On TV, we just became a
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: fit show because I can laugh about it, like, let
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: me see, let me say this, right, We've been going
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: through this divorce for two and a half years. I
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: just some of this stuff I just gotta just now
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: laugh about because I'm like, this is happened and a
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: half the same. But on national television, they started making
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: these different cartoons about us racing to the court house
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: to go and foul and Drew one because literally Drew filed.
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: Drew's attorney found mind. I had the conversation with her,
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: but her attorney was able to submit her information I
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: think like an hour before my So it looks like
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: we both found them the same day, hers winning first,
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: and so it was absolutely just insane. So I'm like,
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: here we go. So that's a notice for all we've
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: been watching. You can't go and give notice, just going
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: to get it done.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: By the way, Ralph, very similar situation, same, very simple.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: I think when you have TV experience or media experience, there's.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: A rookies on that one, Ralph.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: The first one, the first one to file, is going
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: to get the story out there, so which means the
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: first story out is going to stick. It's what happens
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: after that that nobody cares about. It's this first story.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: So I think that's the whole, you know, purpose behind
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: filing first. At the end of the day, though it's
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: the same ship show.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna agree with you more on that.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: Would you say that you're on the other end of
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: it or you're still in the you know, muddy, sickening
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: side of divorce.
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm still in the basement, Kam. But but I
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: think the reality of it is, you know, I think
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: you go you go through these phases right first you're hurt.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Then you're going through and you become angry and you know,
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: and then after a while you get to a place
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: to where you know everything that you do, everything you
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: can say because you know, of course it's a big fight.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: You said this, you said this, This is my narrative.
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: And I feel like, as men, and when I know
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: you can probably agree with this, we're fighting for our
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: voice of say you know what the actual truth is.
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: Because now people are looking at you like it's you,
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: you did this, it's your fault. Everybody points the finger,
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: everybody chooses a side. And so for me, I ended
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: up getting to a place i't even think in a
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: podcast you know called ralph an Abasement, and ralph an
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: Abasement was to basically tell my own narrative because I
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: couldn't rely on anyone else and keep in the show
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: to tell my narrative because they don't really care about me.
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: I'm not the housewife, you know, and so which I
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: do appreciate the network for actually you know, definitely supporting
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: me and you know, allowing me to tell the piece
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: that I did. I feel like I can always have more,
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: you know, of course show and humanize me and show
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: who I really am. But they they did it, they
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: did they did a lot for me. I mean, I
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: can say that, and then you get to a place
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: where it's just like, hey, you know what, this probably
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: doesn't really matter as much, you know, And so I
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: look at my kids and I kind of now finally
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: have broken out of the angry, bitter stage or whatever
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: like that. I ended up creating a song. But I
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: wish you well. You just launched that, right, I've just
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: lost that. I just launched it. So it's available on
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: all platforms, by the way. But wish you Well is
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: I think it's an alternate song just to say, hey, look,
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: I don't care about what narratives you say. I don't
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: care about if you lie about me, you do anything,
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: you bad mouth me. You you know, at the end
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: of the day, I wish you well. And it's something
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: that I can go and put out there and have
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: a smile on my face. I think I'm gonna talk
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: about myself, but I don't know if you guys can
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: relate to it. The for men when we're emotional or
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: for myself when I'm emotional. That means I care you
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: got it. But when I stopped caring, I just put
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: a smile off face and I'm like, yeah, you know
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: what I wish you well, yeah, you know, I'm a
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: focus on me. I know, I got a lot of healing.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: You do, and I do because you know, even getting
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: out there, so some things I got to break myself down.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: It's a lot of things. You also realize that you
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: did wrong. On your side. I could have done this better,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: you know. You know, I sailed in this area, you know,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: And I also recognized the area that where I probably
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: could have treated you better or given her the things
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: that she may have wanted at the time, but they
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: didn't I didn't care about it as much because they
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: didn't fit into the grand scheme of things from a
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: business perspective, you know. But these are things that from
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: an emotional perspective that she felt like she might have needed.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know whether or not that would have probably
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: prevented anything from being the outcome, but they're a thing
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: that I need to learn for myselves because my next relationship,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: it's going to matter then. And you know, and I
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: have a daughter that I'm raising and I want to
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: make sure that she also understands certain dynamics around how
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: and I can teach and be like, hey, you know what,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: this is where dad made a mistake. This is something
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: that I get wrong and be able to learn from
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: my mistakes and be able to grow, because I think
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: that's a big thing. We can't take scars with us.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: We as men, we need to heal, you know, we
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: need to give ourselves grace to allow ourselves to be
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: able to do that, because sometimes we do.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: We do break.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: Men commit suicide the most out of anybody in divorce.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that can do.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: What would be that thing that, if you can go
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: back to you would change. I'm curious.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: What would I change. I probably would have taken more
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: time to go and take her out on dates and stuff,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: just to make sure that she knew that I appreciated
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: and loved her. You know, I think I was so
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: focused on getting money and driving forward, like all right,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: we got these opportunities, and I saw a short window opportunity.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, this show my man next year.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: So what can we get done? You know, there's continue
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: to drive this thing because if we're making X, this
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: is what we can do. The reality of it is,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: this platform is great because you can actually be able
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: to scale a business ten times faster if you use
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: the platform the right way. You know, it's really possible,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: but you need to make sure it's done correctly. And
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: so that's where my focus was opposed to going out
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: and just making sure that we were together and we
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: were on the same page. And I feel like if
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: especially being on television, because now we're kind of we're
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: now celebrities, right, We're all very very well known and
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: very popular for good or bad. But I think if
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: we were able to actually sit down and make sure
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: that we were unified and we would have probably been
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: able to allow no one to come between us, because
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: I believe a big part of also our demise is
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: so many. You got so many different voices coming into
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: your head. Who should you listen to? Who has the
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: right thing? And all of a sudden, you got the producers,
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: you got the friends, you got the fans, you have
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: makeup artists, their scholars, you know, your mother, your auntie,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: and you got so many different voices. How do you
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: make sure that you can still hear your wife's voice
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: and your husband's voice so that you guys are the
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: only ones in a room and you can be able
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: to silence the noise. I would say that we failed
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: horribly at that, and so I would have taken more
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: time to really make sure that we had a solid foundation,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: and if we didn't, I would have stopped right then
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: and there. And but we can't film until you and
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: I get on the same page, until you and I
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: have one voice, and we won't allow anybody to be
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: able to separate because I don't believe in allow nobody
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: to break your marriage unless it's the two of them,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: you making a conscious decision. It should never be any
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: outside force it. Even when you asked a question, do
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: you believe the show broke you up? It should never
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: be a thing or a time where a show should
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: be able to do anything, because it shouldn't have that
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: much influence. But it does, you know, and we also
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: felt a victim for that.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: I love that answer, by the way, I think if
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: I look back at mine, that's probably what I would
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: do as well. I think we I started taking for
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: granted the times we spent together. We used to go
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: out at least, we used to have at least one
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: date a week, no matter what, and we were doing
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: in the daytime, and then we just stopped. As I
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: look back, I started thinking we started, we stopped doing
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: that one on one time because there was so many
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: things that we had the kids, and you know, I
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: thought I was doing my thing with the kids, which
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: was showing her love by doing that. But in reality,
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: we just stopped having that that weekly just you and
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: her type moments, and you could easily get lost and
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: not do it, and then you just forget about it
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: because it just becomes sort of a habit. You don't
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: even realize it's happening.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: I remember you talking about that actually with when we
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: first started the podcast, and you guys said something very
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: interesting that makes sense now. It sounds like when you
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: get as busy as you guys are, we all are
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: very busy, and I got I got.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: I also got to your point. I was focused on
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: just bringing in money, right. I got focused on this
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: business and I'm gonna make this thing brand. Yes, and uh,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: you know I started a solar company at the same
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: time too, so I was just between that and the kids. Yeah,
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: it was taking all my time and I really just
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: stopped paying attention to the one on one time. You know,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: we're spending time together as a family, but we stopped
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: spending that one on one time.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: But the one on one time I think that's the
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: most valuable for me anyways, because we still get it.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: And this is probably just me thinking it in my
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: own little world, but it's when it's spontaneous and you
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: do certain things that just happened and you realize, holy shit,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: I have, you know, my partner with me, and this happened,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: and we'll never forget it, and we'd like to do
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: a lot of first things together, like travel to a
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: certain destination for the first time together. But the point
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to make is when you were talking about
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: your relationship back then, and I think Teddy's the one
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: that said, you guys schedule your sex sessions, I'm like, okay,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: now you're way and busy. If you have to put
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have sex at two thirty in the
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: afternoon because kids are at school and everybody's gone and
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: this is our only window. It's like I'm supposed to
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: get it up on the spot. I mean, this's got
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: a mind of its own. At my age, when it
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: gets up, it's time, you know. But I think it's
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: that spontaneity I appreciate mostly with my wife, you know,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: and even today it still happens like we're in the kitchen.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: All our kids are pretty much gone, so we can
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: get frisky in the kitchen and it's fun.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: Those kind of things makes to go right. But if
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: you stop doing those things, I think that's where the
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: magic kind of goes away. Like m h, those are
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: those are the moments. And even just going out to
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: dinner once a week, that can get old too, unless
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: it's spontaneous. And we've had those too, like, hey, you
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: want to go to dinner? Yeah, where I don't know.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: Let's just go find a place and just that adventure
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: was fun enough that we didn't have to you know,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: call our pr company, to call that restaurant that's always
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: sold out that we nobody can get into. Just to
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: get into this restaurant, just to have that experience, I'd
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: rather have that. You know, what are you feeling like today?
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: Let's just go fucking venture out and figure it out.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: You know. A question for you, so how did you
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: how did you navigate not talk like when you actually
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: did all those moments where you can enjoy each other.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 3: How did you not talk about reality TV and things
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: that's happening what you did on the same versus how
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: you should have acted and things like that was a
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: big part of my thing. I remember we went out
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: to me one time. I had this amazing Kent house
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: and it was the absolute worst vacation in the world.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: We flew out because our tradition we will fly out
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: after reunion and I'm all right, come on, let's so
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: we're gonna go and enjoy ourselves. We're gonna go with WUSA,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 3: celebrate getting done with it, finishing up, you know, a
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: new season. And literally we argued and thought about reality
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: TV the entire time, and it was terrible, to the
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: point where I was like, you know, I think I'm
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: ready to go home. Yeah, let me let me see
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: where I can get on another flight here, Simon gel,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: But how did you actually go to that base and
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: get there.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: It's it's hard to navigate through that, honestly, because I
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: I when my wife got fired the first time, it
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: took me twelve months to get her off a ledge
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: and to realize that we don't need the show financially,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: and we have a successful company and we have other
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: ways to make money. Because she's very entrepreneurial as well,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: which is what I really admire about her. She thinks differently.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: She thinks, you know, about just building things and doing
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: things for real, not for show purposes, but for real life. Right,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: So when we finished filming or when the season's over,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: it takes a long time for me to get her
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: to stop and say, can we just go on a break?
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: You need a break. You've been working five days a week,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: seven days a week. You need a break. You're getting sick,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: you're not feeling great. So last year, for her birthday,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: she decided to get a medical procedure. I think she
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: got an eye lift or something like that, but like, okay,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: on your birthday, really, now, I can't take you anywhere
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: because I like to travel too. So this year I
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: had to like really pry into her and twist her
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: arm and go, okay, this season or this birthday, I'm
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: going to take you away. I don't care where. You
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: need to tell me. And it took about three weeks
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: for her to, you know, have any ounce of interest
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: in it. And I realized, fuck it, I'm gonna book
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: it and you're gonna go, and you're gonna have to
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: clear your calendar. And I did so because it's her birthday.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: And there was a lot more dynamics going on here,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: like my grandmother turning a hundred, and she's like her
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: birthdays two years two days before. My wife is like,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: which one do I celebrate here?
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: But my final conclusion was I booked the trip to Yosemite,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: just a simple trip over to Yosemite where I'm sorry, Yellowstone,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: We're just going to have a little good time. Restaurants, tour,
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: see nature, see the beautiful America. It's something we've never
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: done together before, and it's going to happen. And I
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: think now that she's looking forward to it as of yesterday,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: because I booked this two weeks ago. She's like, oh no,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it. I think it's going to help
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: her really come off that world of TV and start
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: looking at us. You know what I mean, because when
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: you're on TV, you're always up here thinking I got
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: to entertain, got to know what to say, I gotta
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: wear this, I gotta you know, do that. So to
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: get her to get down and start thinking about what's
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: really important, it's not too hard, but it's one of
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: the challenges. And and I know that she can do
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: it because she was ready to go in you know,
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: guns blazing this season. And the biggest curve that came
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: to her is when Teddy was diagnosed with cancer. And
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: I've never seen her crash and burn so quick and
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: not not realize you know, she's on a TV show.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: She's got a lot of balls, you know, in the air.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: You can't just quit. But she had to because that
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: what was more important to her in her life is
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: you know, her friends, her best friend's health, and it
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: really really hit her herd. I can't imagine if something
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: happened to me, what would it do to her. But
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: that's real, that's that's that's the reality of reality TV.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: And and again she got judged and criticized like, oh,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: you should quit forever and you know you shouldn't have
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: quit or you know, it's never one or the other, right,
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: But she got through it, and I'm just like, fuck,
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: how do you do it? Babe? You know, I really
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: don't know how she does it. She's she has something
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: in her that she can deal with all that bullshit.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: And if it was me, I'd be like done, I
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: don't want anything to do. And that's kind of what's
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: allowed me to stay out of the drama. You know,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: I learned early on, like this is not a house
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: husband show. This is a house wife's show. So let
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: them fight, let them talk, let them do their thing,
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: and you're even. Then you still end up being you know,
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: some sort of collateral and their stupid stories, you know,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: the stupid stories that these other women make up about you.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: Do you have any of those? Like did the other
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: women make up any stupid stories about you?
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: Oh? Man, my second my first season, they came out
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: and was like, yeah, Rolf's gad. I'm like, where did
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: this come from? You know, all this is not true,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: and I don't know who made this up, who said it,
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: who said it, but nobody would say this person said it.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I got all kinds of stupid things that
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: people have said, you know, but those are things that
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: they Those are things you just got to go and
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: try to deal with and navigate. And it's not always easy.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: It's not always easy. It's a lot of pressure.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: Fortunately, when the rumor or lie is not true, you
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: have nothing to prove, right, But when you're investigated by
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: the FBI or you're committing some sort of fraud and
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: you have to come on to social media and try
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: to justify all the things that are going on that
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: usually is a red flag, right, That's usually an occasion
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: that a.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: Lot of That's true.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: Those are some real problems, yes, and I know ithing
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 3: to do with them. I had one other question, you know,
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: because one of the things we also tried to do
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 3: some other business also on a show a matter of fact,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: and this is another area of contention that we ended
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: up having. So we actually were working with someone and
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: created a brand called Dropping with Drew, and so Drew
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 3: was running his business. Dropping with Drew was a weight
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: loss program, and she ended up saying that she was
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: the sea over the company, and they ended up calling
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: her out on it. I was working with their help,
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 3: you know, promoted and everything else because it really was
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: a great program, but somebody else owned it. We were
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 3: placing like influencers on it, and then you know, they
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: branded it, you know, so which is something that people
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: could do a lot. And what I did was I
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 3: was like, I can't be anywhere near it because if
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: it's one thing. As a woman, you can be a
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: great line or they look, oh my god, she lies,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 3: she's amazing love for it. As a man, I think
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: as soon as somebody says he threates fake business, just
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: like you know, the FBI is investigating you wherever. He's
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 3: gonna go to jail at some point, and so all
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: of a sudden you become that guy. I was like,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: I can't do any thing. I can't be closer is
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: because business is something I really do in real life. Yeah,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: you can't have anyone attached to my name or any
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: kind of scandal or lies or anything else like that.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 3: Call me a bad husband, you know, don't call me
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 3: a bad business person. I have to have integrity and
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 3: those things actually do mean something. Well, so would you
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 3: agree that I made the right decision by pulling away
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 3: from the business or would you have done it or
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 3: would you have stayed in the trenches and be like
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 3: we're gonna burn together.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, I think you have to keep it
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: about integrity, right. You have to buy your character, and
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: if something's not aligned with your character, you know you
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: got to you gotta go with what your character is.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: And you know, I always say under pressure, people's character
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: will be revealed. And you know, I think you did
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: the right thing based on you know, that's you wanted
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: to be truthful about what you were about in business.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: And I think ultimately you have to protect that image.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: I agree one hundred percent. And my similar story is
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: when I had the gym, I made sure that when
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: we filmed, because the show wanted to film all the time. There,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: it's our livelihood, it's our lifestyle, it's our business, and
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: I made sure that we never filmed during regular business
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: hours because I have actual clients that you pay us
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: their money to come train and work out and improve
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: their health. They're not paying me to be on my
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: TV show or my wife's TV show, right, so it's
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: super important for me to distinguish. Okay, I might have
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: some clients and members that might want to be on TV.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: I mean there's a lot of people that want to
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: be on TV and are willing to volunteer to be
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: in this workout or this scene or whatever. But it
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: was never like, hey, this is a real class that's
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: going on now and these are all real members. None
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: of that was happening because it's not real a real business.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: It's I'm training you one on one or I'm working
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: with you one on one, and it's here it's not
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: for TV purposes, you know. So I think you did it.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: You made the right decision.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that, and I thought so because I feel
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 3: great about my decision. But she was, yes, I think
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: that was another crack, a breaking place. She was like,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: you know what, Ralph, you don't support me. Like, there's
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 3: certain things I can do, you know, I can talk
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 3: about the Tampa situation. I can't go yeah, but me
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 3: do whatever else you need to do. I can be
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 3: down with you with that. But my character and my
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 3: titet and those are things that stay with you for
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 3: the rest of your life. And that's something I got
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 3: to stand on.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, that's one. Like you said, that's the character
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: that no one can take that away from you. Right,
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: Your talent, all that stuff can go away, but your character,
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: you know, that's something.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: You could proverb So I do have one more question.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Speaking of character, we talked about this in our last
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: interview with Frankie, and I really really enjoyed the conversation
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: because it had everything to do with integrating your next
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: chapter of your life with your ex partner and her
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: new partner. And what they've done is they've just raised
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: children together. They've traveled together, they have they go to
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: the movies together.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: They do all this.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: Crazy shit that normal people don't do. You know, like
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: in a breakup, do you ever see yourself having that
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: kind of lifestyle where you and Drew kind of get
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: along as friends. Now that there's no, for lack of
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: better descriptions, sexual tension, No, no sexual relationships. But you
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: know what, you're the parents. You're gonna raise the kids
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: together and you're going to show them, you know that
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: you ultimately, at the end of the end of the day,
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: you have to respect each other and go as far
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: as traveling, going on vacation as a family, celebrating holidays
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: as a family. Can you envision that.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 3: We've already done it? Oh you have? Yeah, we've actually
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: did it. We took a cruise, you know, just to
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: take the kids out, just you know, because my thing
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: is is I feel like adult, my kids don't deserve
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: none of this, right, it's adults that do stupid things. Yeah,
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: and so I want to make sure that we show
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 3: up as a unified front for our kids. Now, you know,
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: once everything is finalized, said, done, you know and sign
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: shildo and delivered. I don't know how it be, but
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: my thing is, even with the book the Step and parenting,
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 3: I believed of integrating, you know, because you don't want
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 3: to create a toxic environment for the family, because then
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 3: that's what the kids are going to be about product
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: of you know. And so my goal is to try
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: to figure out how to really be able to solve
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 3: some of these different challenges that may plague us. And
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 3: it's easier said than done, of course, because even you know,
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 3: and even talking about your situation, you know, it's like,
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 3: all right, this is what I'm dealing with there. But
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 3: you know, if there's a way to create or cultivate
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 3: an environment that is positive, I just don't know how
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 3: that's going to look yet. I'm not there at that
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 3: point of integrating everything together. But at some point in
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 3: time it does have to I would I would like
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: it to happen to some degree. I just don't know
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 3: how that looks as of yet. So it's like I'm
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: just you know, being positive and being optimistic that everything
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 3: will work itself out, and also even my kids making
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 3: sure they're happy because I don't know what it looks
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 3: like and it feels like to live away from you know. Yeah,
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 3: and so those are things you know, ed when are
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: you still living at home? Yeah?
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: Ninety percent of the time, yes, ninety percent of the time. Yeah,
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: so we were doing this thing called nesting. But then
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 2: after Teddy got sick. Uh, now I'm sort of helping
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: take care of her. So that's where I'm here ninety
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: percent of the time. Still they have like one two
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: days where I stay at the other house.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 3: Got it understood, So you know, even in that situation,
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry to hear about that. Also, many has a
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 3: double where it is it is, So for me, it's like,
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 3: all right, how do I make sure that you know
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 3: everything is positive and how it is to live away
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 3: from your kids and have and not able to have
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 3: that to them. Where something happens, I can get to
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: them real quick, because right now that's the life I live.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 3: If I need to see them, I can see them,
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 3: even in the midst of this two and a half
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 3: year divorce. If I need to see my kids right now,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 3: as soon as they come home from school, I'll see
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: them every I see them every day, you know, unless
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 3: I'm traveling. But going into a world where it's like, ah,
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 3: you can't see them for this amount of time, I
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: just don't know how that feels. And so that's a
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 3: new dynamic that I have to enter into and journey into.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 3: And so everything is new. It's I think it's a
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: season of new beginnings. And you know that's something I'm
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 3: just trying to just be optimistic about. But I don't
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 3: know how it feels. People can tell you about it, Yeah,
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: it's another thing to actually experience it for yourself.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: As you're talking, I'm thinking about right now. You know,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: one of the most common things that they do in
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: divorce is they give the parents fifty to fifty custody,
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: and that's considered fair, right, But what the courts don't
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: really think about is the kids. That that ultimately becomes
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: a possession for parents. It's like, it's my time. You
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: can't talk to your own kid on my time. I
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: can't believe. I can't tell you how toxic that is.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: It's just so bad that, like you just proved the point,
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: like if I want to wake up and talk to
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: my child and see my child, there should be no
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: one between me and my child to cut that communication.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: I don't care who you are, right, So to have
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: that possession and think, oh, it's on my time, so
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: you can't talk to my kids, it comes down to
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: the parents, It comes down to the person. And what
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: you guys do together is ultimately going to affect the kids. Right,
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: So if you can get yourself there, Ralph to a
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: point where you know what, it doesn't matter what she says,
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: but you want to keep that door open between you two.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: So if one morning she wakes up and she has
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: to talk to the kids, you have to be like,
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 1: I fucking hate this girl, but you gotta let her
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: talk to the kids and vice versa. Right, no matter
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: how much you piss up or she hit she hates you.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: If you want to wake up that next morning, then
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: they're not with you. They're with your ex. You have
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: to have that ability to just make a phone call
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: or even come over and see your kids. I don't
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: get why it's so important to have a fifty to
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: fifty custody where you can't see your kid. That drives
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: me nuts, you know.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 3: Interesting enough, I don't have fifty to fifty right now,
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 3: so you know I have visit T shirt rights in
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: my own house. It's actually it is what it is.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 3: SEE has the primary custody of the kids at this moment.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 3: I have first, third, and fifth weekends, so on Friday
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: it starts to become my weekend, you know, to where
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 3: I'm with the kids. But I mentioned it's not it's
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 3: some things I can't do, of course, because how it
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 3: is is it's kind of separated. But at the same time,
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: you know, I can still go up there if I
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: need to to go and do certain things. I just
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 3: try to make sure we just respect each other's boundaries
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: more than anything else. And I think I love your point,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 3: but I don't think that's going to be an issue
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 3: with us, because I think there will be an open
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 3: door of communication between the both of us in regardless.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, my son got my
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: blood running through me. She can't because he's a little
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: bit of a wild part. So the great thing is
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 3: they're daddy kids, you know. They They're not going to
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 3: allow themselves not to be able to get in contact
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 3: with me. They come downstairs and wake me up, or
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: if I'm whatever I'm doing, they run into my office.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: This is something that they do on a regular basis,
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 3: and so it will it will hurt them, but they there.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: I believe that that will continue. I made sure I
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: also bought both of them cell phones so that if
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 3: I need to speak with them, I just call them
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: directly unless she takes the phone away. You know, but
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: I can reach out to them and they can reach
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 3: out to me without any kind of problems with so
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: we don't have a toxic relationship to where it's like.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: And then also I've wished her well just like my song. Yeah,
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 3: you know, so it's all good, all love. It's all
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: love on this side, you know. But I'm just focusing
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 3: on just trying to make sure that my kids, my family,
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 3: everybody is doing well and thriving. That's the goal of
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 3: why become parents in the first place.
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's great and that's a great attitude. Thank
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: you so much for Ralph.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: Great getting to know you. I knew I would like
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: to start saw that you have all these things you've
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: done in your life. You're doing what you're doing, man,
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're living your life and I really admire that.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: Keep doing what you're doing.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 3: I do appreciate it. Thanks for having me, guys, keep
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 3: doing what I love this platform. Let's keep it rap
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 3: you going to BRABA con No, they're not gonna write me.
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 3: I am the weakest link you know right now. But
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 3: I don't have gotten invite yet.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: But you know, I don't know, but maybe you and
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 2: I will crash it.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: That would be so gory.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: We need to ed Eddie can sneakers in through the back.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: I could totally sneak into the bag.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: We can have like a meet and greet off to
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 3: the side or something like.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: Exactly exactly on the side.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: Totally all right, boys, thank you so much. We'll see
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: you again soon.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 2: See bye Ralph, Bye bye Ralph.