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Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP03 - The Role Of The Gods In Personal Development [feat. Bradley Bos] · Random Heathen Ramblings

• 0:03
  Hello everyone, and welcome to the Random Heathen Ramblings
• 0:06
  podcast where we discuss all sorts of things Germanic
• 0:09
  Heathenry related. My name is Jesse and I'm your
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  host. Let's get into it.
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  All right, everybody, Helen, welcome back to this week's
• 1:12
  episode of the podcast. Thanks so much for coming and
• 1:16
  hearing what we have to talk about this week.
• 1:18
  I've got a guest lined up for us, a return guest.
• 1:20
  As a matter of fact, he has appeared once before on the
• 1:24
  podcast about a year or two ago, a season or two ago, I think
• 1:28
  probably. And he's going to be talking
• 1:31
  today with us about kind of some some thoughts that some some
• 1:36
  recent things that that him and his go the in in their group
• 1:40
  have been been talking about. But it kind of coincided with a
• 1:44
  suggested topic of discussion, that being the role of the gods
• 1:49
  in our personal development. And maybe some like modern, you
• 1:54
  know, heathen twists or practices.
• 1:57
  We'll be, we'll be discussing various things.
• 1:59
  But some of those, some of those things about this episode will
• 2:01
  include how modern heathens today can find a, a way to
• 2:05
  interact with, with the divine or with the gods in, in both
• 2:08
  personal and spiritual like contexts.
• 2:12
  You know, we're going to try to go beyond a bit of the mythology
• 2:15
  because anybody can read the lore and the myths and, and find
• 2:19
  stories about the gods from, you know, medieval Scandinavia or
• 2:22
  even, you know, if you go further back, some of the more
• 2:26
  older sources of, you know, continental Germanic heathen
• 2:30
  beliefs. But part of that's going to be
• 2:33
  going a little bit again, beyond the mythology and considering
• 2:36
  how individuals today build relationships with, with deity.
• 2:42
  So we're going to be talking a bit a bit about that in just a
• 2:44
  moment. Before we do jump in, I do just
• 2:47
  want to remind everyone that if you're just listening to this
• 2:50
  show on, on on any of the audio streaming sites like Spotify or
• 2:53
  or Apple, you know, podcasts or Amazon or wherever it is that
• 2:57
  you're listening to this, this this show does have a video
• 3:02
  version available on my Patreon page and that's
• 3:05
  patreon.com/midgard Musings. You can click on the link tree
• 3:09
  link that's annotated in the, you know, podcast show notes and
• 3:12
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  merch store, all the other ways that you can support the podcast
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  and by following those social medias, you know, YouTube and
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  whatever. But becoming a patron on Patreon
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  really helps the show. If you want to watch the show in
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  its full entirety, it's just a $1.00 pledge and that gets you
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  access for the month. You know, so we usually do about
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  3:00 to 4:00 sometimes. Yeah, 44 is usually, you know, 1
• 3:37
  episode a week. So you're looking at 4 episodes
• 3:39
  a month for, for a dollar you get access to that and you can
• 3:42
  watch those for however long you want.
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  You can renew if you want, you can cancel and come back, you
• 3:47
  know, whatever suits your fancy. But it is a great way to
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  continuously show support of the podcast, especially with the
• 3:55
  anticipation of me travelling up to Alaska later this year for
• 3:59
  the Heathen Days and Pagan Nights event.
• 4:02
  They're they're so kind as to to have invited me to their, to
• 4:06
  their annual event this year. So, you know, thinking of those
• 4:10
  travel arrangements and, and making it as as enjoyable for my
• 4:14
  wife and I as possible, you know, like, if you want to help
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  in that way with, with the pledging your support, it would
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  be greatly appreciated. So all that information's
• 4:24
  already LinkedIn, the, the show notes of the podcast for all of
• 4:27
  you that are watching this show and have become a patron on
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  Patreon, want to say thank you so very much for doing that.
• 4:34
  And again, it means a great deal in showing your support in this
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  way. So without further ado, let's go
• 4:39
  ahead and bring onto the show this week.
• 4:42
  Return guest Bradley. Boss, let's go here.
• 4:47
  Where are you? There he is.
• 4:49
  All right. Hey, what's up, Bradley?
• 4:52
  How you doing man? I'm doing all right.
• 4:55
  Everything's going good. Good.
• 4:57
  And welcome back to the show. We were I was trying to think,
• 5:01
  opt to look back and see when it was that you were last on here.
• 5:03
  But it's been a, it's been a season or two ago, I think.
• 5:07
  Yeah, it's been about a season. Yeah, Yeah, been a minute.
• 5:10
  So I'm glad that you showed the interest in wanting to come
• 5:13
  back. It's it's nice to to reconnect
• 5:15
  with you. Absolutely.
• 5:17
  Are you, do these guys still have snow on the ground out
• 5:19
  there and you're part of Missouri or no?
• 5:21
  Yeah, it's almost all gone, but we still got a little bit left.
• 5:25
  It was like Jewel, pretty good, so.
• 5:28
  Yeah, yeah, we had a white Yule here as well in in Middle
• 5:31
  Tennessee. Although we were, I, I say that,
• 5:34
  you know, Scotty teased us, you know, we, we were, we were
• 5:36
  promised 6:00 to 8:00, but we got stuck with three.
• 5:39
  And so we all Dang, you know. I spent we took your 6 to 8
• 5:43
  inches. Oh, OK.
• 5:45
  Yeah. I know, I know Patrick Walsh, a
• 5:47
  buddy of ours out there, I know he's in a different part of
• 5:49
  Missouri than you, but I think they still got a little bit of
• 5:52
  snow on the ground. Yeah.
• 5:54
  They got a lot more, that's for sure.
• 5:57
  Yeah, they, I think they were expecting that, you know, four
• 5:59
  to six inches and they ended up with almost a foot or somewhere
• 6:02
  around near a foot. Yeah.
• 6:04
  Something like that. So but I guess that's that's
• 6:07
  that's more you're more inclined to get snow in the Midwest and
• 6:11
  then Middle Tennessee is I think right.
• 6:13
  So that doesn't. That's only less rare up here
• 6:16
  than down there, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
• 6:21
  Down here, we they started, they started salting the roads or
• 6:25
  brining the roads, you know, like four days before the snow
• 6:29
  ever even came. It was like the the snow started
• 6:33
  late on a Friday and it was there was already that that gunk
• 6:35
  on the ground that like on the roads like, Oh yeah, like they
• 6:39
  had to stay on the ground on Tuesday.
• 6:40
  And I go, all right, you know, that's not how it works, but,
• 6:44
  you know, at least you got it on the ground ahead of time and
• 6:47
  it's not too late, you know, So OK, you know.
• 6:49
  Yeah, well, over prepared maybe. Yeah, well, they don't, they
• 6:53
  just, you know, they don't know how to because it's that way,
• 6:56
  because they could say, well, you could get up to a foot, you
• 6:58
  know, well that might mean an inch and a half.
• 7:00
  It could mean a foot and a half. You just, there's no real
• 7:03
  measure of some for some reason they, they can't dial it in very
• 7:07
  well in this area. So it's always, you know,
• 7:09
  prepare for the, you know, prepare for the, for the worst
• 7:13
  and hope for the best. And then everybody of course,
• 7:16
  days ahead of time or, you know, scrambling and, and, and buying
• 7:21
  out all the, the bottled water and the milk and the eggs and
• 7:23
  the bread and then not this and that.
• 7:25
  So. The panic.
• 7:28
  Yeah, yeah. So yeah, we're we're pretty much
• 7:32
  out of out of the snow right now.
• 7:34
  We just got like a hard freeze going on.
• 7:36
  It's as of right now, I think it was in like the IT was, it
• 7:40
  didn't get out of the 20s today and it felt like it was in the
• 7:43
  teens and I think we're expecting single digits tonight.
• 7:47
  Yeah, that's where we're at tonight too.
• 7:48
  I think it's supposed to get down to like 9° tonight or
• 7:51
  something like that. Yeah.
• 7:53
  Going to be a rough night. Stoke those fires, keep the
• 7:55
  cabinets open, you know, keep the water faucets stripping the
• 7:58
  whole the whole 9. Don't worry.
• 8:00
  You know, you just had to. I think you were telling me a
• 8:02
  bit offline. You had a you had a a plumbing
• 8:05
  leak like a well line or something that busted didn't.
• 8:09
  You. Yeah, over 100 feet of, well,
• 8:11
  busted up and just pouring out underneath the ground.
• 8:14
  Oh. Man.
• 8:16
  And then you get the. Backhoe out, it's all up.
• 8:18
  Oh, man, I don't. I mean, I know what that's like
• 8:21
  and I and I sure don't, I sure don't envy you.
• 8:26
  I appreciate you wanting to come on here, though, in spite of
• 8:28
  that, because that, that that could.
• 8:29
  Have. Really been like, you know what,
• 8:30
  I'm done. I've been digging holes all day.
• 8:32
  I just, I just want to relax. So we'll try to be, we'll try
• 8:36
  to, you know, keep to keep to the topic and be respectful of
• 8:39
  your time here. Oh, yeah, you were you.
• 8:44
  We, we, we had corresponded back and forth over e-mail.
• 8:47
  And like I mentioned in the beginning, you felt like it was
• 8:51
  a timely thing to talk a bit about, you know, how the role of
• 8:56
  of our gods and goddesses in in personal development nowadays.
• 9:01
  You and I talked offline about a conversation that you had with
• 9:04
  your Gozi that kind of coincided with this.
• 9:07
  And I thought if you wouldn't mind, share a little bit about
• 9:10
  that and we can kind of launch off from there.
• 9:14
  So we were kind of just sharing like ideas back and forth about
• 9:17
  like just personal incorporations with the gods and
• 9:22
  goddesses within our own, like just daily lives and what he
• 9:26
  told me he does, which I liked and try to adapt as much of as I
• 9:30
  can with my life, even though it's really busy is like each
• 9:35
  day of the week. He associates each day with
• 9:38
  either like a Tuesday with Tear, Wednesday with Thor or Odin, and
• 9:43
  then Thursday with Thor. And on each day he'll do
• 9:46
  something throughout that day to incorporate something to do with
• 9:51
  the gods and kind of honor them in that way.
• 9:52
  Like on Tuesday, he'll focus like more on like community
• 9:57
  outreach and just like justice and stuff, like stuff that's
• 10:01
  generally leaning towards tear. And then on Wednesday, which I
• 10:05
  helped him a little bit with that because he's still a little
• 10:08
  new, like he's not new new, but he's just kind of like learning
• 10:11
  more and more about the gods and everything.
• 10:13
  And he wanted to know about Odin with me.
• 10:16
  Odin's kind of like my patron God and everything.
• 10:19
  He's, I focus a lot on Odin and so he was asking me like what I
• 10:23
  do with Odin and everything throughout, you know, the months
• 10:26
  and days and like meditation and like learning.
• 10:29
  I incorporate like learning a lot with Odin and everything and
• 10:33
  just expanding knowledge. So on Wednesday he'll like watch
• 10:36
  podcasts and stuff or read books just to expand his knowledge
• 10:40
  base either around that Odin or just in just knowledge in
• 10:44
  general, just learning something.
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  And then Thursday he'll push himself a little bit more
• 10:49
  physically. It kind of a tribute to Thor's
• 10:52
  strength and everything and you know, right around that, that
• 10:56
  kind of stuff. That's cool.
• 10:58
  I remember being when I would go to the gym when I was working
• 11:03
  out a lot, I remember like Thursdays were always like my
• 11:07
  like push it to the limit and beyond kind of days, you know.
• 11:11
  Yeah, if I was in the gym on a Thursday, it felt like a, you
• 11:15
  know, go extra hard, you know, for, for old red beard there,
• 11:18
  you know, Right. Yeah.
• 11:22
  And yeah, that's pretty cool. And like, and I was, I figured
• 11:28
  like another way, like we can incorporate like just kind of
• 11:33
  personalizing a little bit more instead of going strictly off
• 11:36
  lore or archaeological fines and stuff.
• 11:39
  Because that's great. That gives you like a good
• 11:41
  foundation and everything to build up from and kind of like
• 11:45
  give you kind of a guideline, so to speak of where kind of steer
• 11:49
  your rituals and stuff. So you can kind of like make up
• 11:52
  your own rituals for like each God throughout the either each
• 11:56
  day of the week again or just whenever you feel it appropriate
• 11:59
  in your life to make those rituals and do those loads or
• 12:03
  sacrifices and stuff. Yeah.
• 12:07
  So. Yeah, I started off with my
• 12:11
  Heathenry as very God focused, you know, or, or deity focused.
• 12:15
  I had a real and I think that's a lot of with with especially
• 12:19
  when you're new. So it doesn't it, I guess it
• 12:22
  doesn't shock or surprise me to hear that, you know, your your
• 12:25
  your go to here is is relatively new to it.
• 12:28
  Like not like brand new green or whatever, but just still
• 12:31
  learning a lot and discovering a lot.
• 12:33
  And that's it seems to be like the, the natural gravitation of
• 12:36
  going towards, especially when you're new is, is focusing on
• 12:40
  deity and, and the gods and what our relationship with the gods
• 12:43
  is. Because like you say, you know,
• 12:45
  you can read all these stories from the myths about, you know,
• 12:49
  what Odin did and, or what Thor did or what Freya did or what
• 12:53
  tear did or whatever. But some of the gods have more
• 12:57
  stories about them written down in the myths in the Lord than
• 13:00
  others, you know. So when it comes to practicing
• 13:05
  it, practicing this, this, this faith in a, in a modern day
• 13:09
  context, it feels like there's a lot of gaps to fill.
• 13:14
  Yeah, he's experienced that with here, like because there's not a
• 13:18
  whole lot in the myth and stuff about here, it's very limited.
• 13:22
  And so that's one thing that he's discovered throughout, you
• 13:26
  know, for the years and stuff that there's not really a whole
• 13:29
  lot that we do know about here. Like we know quite a bit like
• 13:31
  what he stands for and like just some of his characteristics.
• 13:35
  But there's not a lot here. Maybe like the past couple
• 13:38
  years, there's probably been a few more discoveries, but not
• 13:41
  much is known about him. Yeah.
• 13:44
  No, there's, there's and, and what's interesting is like for
• 13:48
  some reason, you know, Tear gets a very big focus.
• 13:51
  Well, right. Not for some reason, for for
• 13:53
  obvious reasons. You know, he's, he's the, the,
• 13:56
  the, the, the, you know, the, the, the sire or the, OR the, he
• 13:59
  raised Fenrir, you know, and it's because of him that, you
• 14:02
  know, he loses his hand after betraying the wolf and you know,
• 14:06
  so they're, you know, but the things about Tear from the Lord,
• 14:11
  like you say, are very limited with his anything like he there.
• 14:15
  There's there's one story of him going to, you know, going with,
• 14:20
  I think it was Thor and Loki to the, the Toyota name to, to, to
• 14:26
  get back the, the cauldron that was stolen.
• 14:30
  His, you know, his grandfather's cauldron or his father's
• 14:32
  cauldron, which, you know, you start like looking at like the
• 14:36
  characters of the gods and stuff and you go tears father, wait a
• 14:39
  second, who was that? You know, when you start trying
• 14:41
  to match things up and it's, it's there's a lot of like you
• 14:43
  say, a lot of gaps to fill. And then you also look at, you
• 14:47
  say like archaeological things and, and, and where in these
• 14:50
  lands of like, you know, Scandinavia per SE, where do we
• 14:54
  see Tear ever having a devotion given to him?
• 14:58
  Where as we know for sure, like there's a lot of places across
• 15:00
  Scandinavia and even continental Germanic lands that have focuses
• 15:04
  to, to, to donor or to donor. You know, Thor is a, is a big
• 15:07
  one for, for the Swedes. It was like ING or Freyr, I
• 15:12
  think uller was a big one in Norway, Norway or, or Denmark or
• 15:17
  somewhere. Like uller was wasn't, was a God
• 15:19
  who who has had at least at one point in time a, a sort of like
• 15:24
  cult following. But so like, yeah, like even
• 15:28
  some of the more popular gods that we, you know, that they get
• 15:31
  a lot of attention in the lore, don't have a lot of of stuff
• 15:36
  about them to to have provided any sort of background of, of
• 15:41
  where they venerated, where they worshipped, where they given any
• 15:43
  sort of acknowledgement by the people, you know.
• 15:46
  Yeah. And by sorry, go ahead.
• 15:51
  You're fine. Go ahead.
• 15:53
  Yeah, like situations like that, he, I, I just pretty much told
• 15:57
  him to like focus in on what we do know.
• 16:02
  And I'm like, and I'm like the God are the gods and goddesses.
• 16:06
  None of them are frozen in time. Like everything that was written
• 16:09
  1000 years ago, they've existed throughout all the years, even
• 16:13
  before us. So I'm like, even if you're not
• 16:15
  correct, I'm like, it's mainly like intent and what your
• 16:19
  purpose is of doing the things that you're doing is what
• 16:21
  becomes important at that time because like whatever you're
• 16:25
  doing for tier, yeah, maybe 1000 years ago they didn't do that
• 16:29
  for him. But I'm like over the years
• 16:31
  we've lost that. So I'm like, if anything, I've,
• 16:34
  I could see the gods, you know, appreciating like the effort at
• 16:38
  least and putting some sort of veneration to them, even though
• 16:41
  you might not know an historical backing for it, like a reason
• 16:45
  for it being that way. Yeah.
• 16:50
  Has he or have you guys, you know, have you encountered like
• 16:54
  situations where you felt that the gods, whether it be through
• 17:00
  a devotional thing on a on a day of the week or whether it be,
• 17:03
  you know, a, a group thing that with you and him and whoever
• 17:07
  else can can attend? You know, have you, have you
• 17:09
  ever encountered a feeling where the gods did or did not
• 17:19
  acknowledge or, or like, like you feel their presence and, or
• 17:23
  not feel their presence, you know, in any given situation?
• 17:27
  Because I've always wondered too, you know, when it comes to
• 17:30
  how we as heathens observe, you know, the sacred, the gods, the
• 17:35
  goddesses, a lot of folks will sit here and say that they
• 17:39
  believe in gods of limited access, meaning they come and
• 17:42
  they go and, and they are here sometimes and they are not here
• 17:46
  other times. And just because a random guy in
• 17:50
  Missouri or in Tennessee or New York or wherever decides to, you
• 17:54
  know, raise their hammer and hail Thor, doesn't mean that
• 17:56
  that's going to immediately summon Thor from whatever he's
• 17:59
  doing and he's going to acknowledge it.
• 18:01
  We hope so we like, we hope that in those in those moments,
• 18:04
  right, that what we're doing is going to maybe garner their
• 18:05
  attention. But I think a lot of of heathens
• 18:09
  that believe in gods of limited access that it, it would have to
• 18:12
  be that you also believe that the, that sometimes things that
• 18:16
  we do don't always get to them. So I was wondering if if if you
• 18:19
  ever encountered something like that or if you've had any
• 18:22
  experience with with this type of thing.
• 18:25
  I would probably have to say it was, it was just a personal
• 18:31
  tribal ritual that we did towards the end of September.
• 18:37
  And it wasn't like really like a holiday holiday.
• 18:39
  Is that something that we all wanted to do together
• 18:41
  collectively before fall ended? And we, you know, did the
• 18:47
  offerings and everything. And my friend Rob, he, he's the
• 18:53
  one that pointed it out because like other rituals in the past,
• 18:56
  like we've kind of felt something and it was more of an
• 18:59
  ancestral based ritual this time.
• 19:01
  And we still have felt a presence, but like the gods and
• 19:04
  the Azir and stuff, we really didn't feel their presence in
• 19:07
  this. And he mentioned it later on,
• 19:08
  like a few days later and he's like, did something feel like
• 19:11
  he's like, I don't want to use the word off, but something off
• 19:14
  about like last ritual. And I was like, yeah, I was like
• 19:18
  the wind wasn't like blowing hardly as much as it usually
• 19:21
  does and stuff like that. And we were talking like pretty
• 19:24
  much about how like, like we've built energy, but you'd notice
• 19:30
  like nature kind of behaves different.
• 19:32
  Maybe you've even experienced this, like where nature reacts
• 19:36
  to the ritual itself. And, and we weren't really
• 19:39
  necessarily getting the reaction from nature itself during a
• 19:42
  ritual. And we were kind of talking
• 19:44
  about that. And yeah, I didn't know, know,
• 19:47
  know the term like limited access.
• 19:50
  But yeah, I, we definitely like, we don't believe they're like
• 19:53
  the Christian God, for example. They're everywhere at once at
• 19:55
  all times, like they're definitely here and there
• 19:58
  whenever, wherever they want to go.
• 20:00
  And so we that's kind of what brought us into, you know,
• 20:04
  believing that corn kind of aspect is that maybe they're
• 20:07
  just we're busy like doing something else or if somebody
• 20:11
  else drew their attention like. But yeah, it makes me makes me
• 20:16
  wonder too with, you know, talking about like our, our
• 20:19
  personal interactions, our personal dealings with the gods,
• 20:21
  you know, and making them something of a personal
• 20:24
  relationship to us. Like you say, you know, you have
• 20:27
  examples of somebody who likes to devote a day or a time of day
• 20:31
  of the week to a God or goddess that the day of the week has a
• 20:36
  name that it's close to, you know, Tuesday is Tears day
• 20:40
  because 2 is the proto Germanic name of Tear, you know, and
• 20:44
  Thor's day is, is, you know, Thor, you know, Thor's is, it's
• 20:48
  the proto Germanic name for Thor.
• 20:50
  And so, yeah, we, we, we, we, we treat, we try to find these,
• 20:55
  these connections, these ways to, to feel personalized with
• 20:58
  the gods. And sometimes that doesn't
• 21:00
  always happen, especially like you say, when I've had moments
• 21:04
  where, you know, a hell bloat at night, you know, we heard owls,
• 21:09
  we hear coyotes, we hear all like the, the, the, the sounds
• 21:12
  of nature kind of becoming part of the, of the ritual.
• 21:16
  You know, in a way, like you say, how nature responds or the
• 21:20
  way the wind is or, you know, the storm or something that is,
• 21:24
  is happening, you know, the, the behavior of, of the weather and
• 21:27
  all that. So those moments really give you
• 21:30
  that kind of tangible, personal feel like what I'm doing is, you
• 21:33
  know, it's, it's working, you know, And then for the times
• 21:36
  that it doesn't connect that way, when you, when you do
• 21:39
  everything that you can to, to build up the space to set sacred
• 21:42
  space to assemble people. And then there's just this
• 21:46
  seemingly like disconnect, you know, or just doesn't feel like
• 21:51
  anything really is there and how discouraging that can feel, you
• 21:54
  know, to, to, to us when we are, are maybe wanting or expecting a
• 21:58
  certain outcome and we're not getting it.
• 22:02
  Yeah. Do you want, you want to like,
• 22:04
  how does that make how, I guess I would ask, like, how, how does
• 22:06
  that make you feel in those moments?
• 22:07
  Like, do you really, do you feel like you did something wrong or
• 22:11
  that something was done wrong? Or how, how have you, how have
• 22:13
  you been able to like navigate through those feelings when and
• 22:17
  as they happen? When they when those type of
• 22:19
  situations happen and the way I describe it to him too is even
• 22:23
  though the reaction wasn't there, like we won't know if
• 22:28
  we've offended them or made them angry at us until they let it be
• 22:32
  known that we screwed up. And they'll be, you know, just
• 22:36
  random stuff might happen or inconveniences might take place
• 22:40
  shortly after the ritual and stuff.
• 22:41
  So I kind of tied the like, some of those like might be because
• 22:44
  of the ritual, but like I told them like the discouragement and
• 22:47
  everything. I'm like, we did, our intent was
• 22:51
  there. Like we didn't do anything
• 22:53
  intentionally dishonorable. So I'm like, I don't personally
• 22:57
  believe most of the time, like anything negative would take
• 23:00
  place unless we go out of our way and the just our intent was
• 23:05
  not what we wanted it to be. And the gods saw through that,
• 23:08
  saw through the ruse or whatever we were doing.
• 23:11
  And not saying I did, but, you know, just for conversation, but
• 23:16
  you know, just whatever happened, like we could still
• 23:20
  build from it. And if anything, we might do
• 23:23
  like personal like heart offerings to either initiate
• 23:29
  more goodwill from the gods or, you know, apologize for anything
• 23:32
  that we may have offended them with.
• 23:34
  Do like more personal base offerings.
• 23:36
  Like I think with Thor, like, you know, offering Oakleys or
• 23:40
  stuff to a like a ritual fire or lighting incense or stuff around
• 23:45
  their statues in the house or outside could probably gain any
• 23:50
  apologetic faith with them. I think that would be
• 23:52
  beneficial. That's interesting, yeah.
• 23:57
  Kind of revisiting the, the ceremonial part of the
• 24:01
  ritualistic part and say, hey, you know, like no hard feelings.
• 24:05
  This what, you know, 'cause I, I, I know I have.
• 24:08
  And even very recently, I've, I've felt that, you know, you,
• 24:15
  you, you go through experiences and you have experiences and
• 24:19
  maybe you have them repeatedly where you feel like you're
• 24:22
  really dialed in or that things are just on point.
• 24:24
  You know, like you feel good about everything because you're
• 24:27
  getting response or you're getting a result.
• 24:30
  You know that. And it, and it gives the feeling
• 24:32
  again of that, you know, yes, the gods are with me, right?
• 24:35
  This, this personal relationship that one might say that they
• 24:39
  have with the gods. And I always have to ask myself,
• 24:43
  and I wonder, you know, is that how the relationship with, with
• 24:49
  the gods in Heathenry was ever meant to be, was, was, is, was
• 24:53
  individual and personal experiences, something that was
• 24:57
  familiar to these, these, these ancient peoples?
• 25:00
  Or was it more like, no, it's, it's, it's all of us together.
• 25:03
  Or, you know, 'cause what do we see?
• 25:06
  What do we see from like the sources are, are, are when, when
• 25:09
  bloat was done at certain times of the year for certain holy
• 25:12
  tides, it was done as a, as, as a community.
• 25:16
  You know, everybody assembled and everybody was there.
• 25:19
  What we what we might can learn from other non group related
• 25:23
  things, whether they're like individual, what not.
• 25:25
  I think it means more to like the folklore side of things.
• 25:28
  You know, if you want to have a happy this or that, you got to
• 25:30
  do XY and Z varies across region to region.
• 25:35
  So it always makes me wonder too, you know, like, oh, wow,
• 25:38
  you know, are these moments, are these things that we're feeling?
• 25:41
  Are they, are they more of a of an effect that is the result of
• 25:47
  the group being dialed in versus an individual?
• 25:52
  It's more so that than than the other, you know, And then when
• 25:56
  we're, when we're not feeling those things, is it because
• 26:00
  there's something to do with the group, the collective that is
• 26:04
  off? You know, maybe it's not the
• 26:07
  gods. It's maybe it's us and our
• 26:09
  abilities to, to come together and, and find that common ground
• 26:13
  again and to connect in that way to have the gods present, you
• 26:21
  know, or feel their presence. It's one of those things that
• 26:23
  just As for me, especially just recently and you know, because
• 26:27
  Yule just passed recently for, for us that, that observe a
• 26:30
  historical reckoning of time. You know, we, we, we celebrate
• 26:34
  Yule based on the lunar solar counter.
• 26:36
  So we, you know, we just passed our Yule, you know, a couple of
• 26:41
  weeks ago. Yeah.
• 26:43
  So this kind of thing is a bit fresh in my mind.
• 26:45
  That's when a time of year that when we as a group wish to
• 26:50
  gather and, and, and do things to, to, to bloat to the gods,
• 26:54
  you know, and, and sacrifice to the gods.
• 26:57
  So. Yeah, when Arya arguable as a
• 27:01
  tribe has kind of been put on place for a couple weeks now
• 27:06
  because my family, we all got COVID shortly after January
• 27:10
  started. So for those two weeks we're all
• 27:12
  battling COVID here. And then after we got better, my
• 27:17
  my other tribe mates, they all got sick and then their kids got
• 27:20
  sick. So like we were supposed to have
• 27:22
  it this weekend instead of like, you know, a week ago.
• 27:26
  And so now all their kids got sick.
• 27:28
  So now we're putting it off again.
• 27:30
  So like, you know, it just seems like, well, the unit like
• 27:34
  universe is like trying to put a wedge in between our
• 27:38
  celebrations, like. Now do you, do you have have you
• 27:44
  as a heathen, you know, like for me, like Yule is, is the highest
• 27:48
  of our holy tides. It's it's the most, it's the
• 27:50
  biggest to do. It's the most important, you
• 27:52
  know, celebration. And yeah, not, not getting a
• 27:57
  chance to not get, not getting a chance to celebrate or get into
• 28:01
  that, you know, Yuletide feeling.
• 28:07
  I think it does something to 1 spirit, you know, oneself, the,
• 28:10
  the, the parts of ourselves that feel those feelings.
• 28:14
  It can. It can kind of put a damper on
• 28:18
  one's one spirit to want to, you know, feel that, say that again.
• 28:26
  I said it's a little disheartening sometimes.
• 28:29
  Yes. Whatever you know and everything
• 28:33
  like that. Yeah.
• 28:35
  So it makes me wonder or it makes me think of of what we
• 28:38
  talk about with building personal relationships with
• 28:43
  deities. You talked earlier about a, a
• 28:45
  thing that you guys did. I think it was in September
• 28:48
  where it was more of an ancestral celebration or or
• 28:55
  feast or or ritual or whatever it was.
• 28:57
  It was devoted more to our to, to ancestors and how like the
• 29:03
  feelings of things were different.
• 29:04
  And it, and it, and it makes me think about the importance of
• 29:08
  the, the day-to-day activities that as, as heathens would have
• 29:11
  them to be, is, is that ancestor acknowledgement, ancestral
• 29:15
  veneration. That to me, at least when I hear
• 29:18
  of it, that to me fits more of the personal relationships, the
• 29:22
  daily activities, the things, you know, not, not, not not
• 29:26
  taken away from other people like you go through who, or you
• 29:28
  perhaps who may want to devote a day or, or days of the week to
• 29:31
  the gods. I just went it.
• 29:33
  What resonates to me more is like, oh, let, let me dedicate
• 29:36
  this time of the day or, or something to my ancestors,
• 29:39
  'cause they're the ones that have been, you know, closely
• 29:41
  tied to me, more so than Odin or Thor or any of the other Asir
• 29:45
  gods or gunnier gods, you know, that sort of thing.
• 29:51
  Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at now.
• 29:53
  And with personal experiences, I kind of like, I will always
• 29:58
  venerate the gods and everything, but I'm definitely
• 30:01
  I, the ancestors are a big part of my practice.
• 30:05
  They're the reason I'm here. They're the reason my kids are
• 30:08
  here. Like like if it wasn't them I'd
• 30:12
  still would be a ultimate blimp particle floating around.
• 30:18
  Yeah, yeah, I get, I get that feeling too, like if you're not,
• 30:22
  if you're not putting attention to those, you know, if you're
• 30:26
  not feeding that part of the well, you know, if you're not
• 30:29
  attending to those roots, that's I think personally for me, you
• 30:34
  know, just talking through it like that is the where the
• 30:38
  disconnect really comes in. It's not so much that I'm
• 30:40
  disconnected from the gods and what they've got going on.
• 30:46
  And it looks like Bradley just dropped temporarily, but we'll
• 30:48
  have him back on here. He should be able to rejoin.
• 30:53
  And he is doing that as we speak.
• 30:57
  So let's bring him back on here. There we go.
• 31:03
  Or or not. I gotta love the technology.
• 31:10
  It's like a repeat of last week in a way.
• 31:13
  But yeah, like the, the, the disconnect that we feel, you
• 31:17
  know, is it is it is it more a disconnect or a feeling of
• 31:25
  something going on with our ancestors so much more than it
• 31:29
  is with that perception or that idea of of the gods or deity and
• 31:38
  OK, OK, we're back. I think so.
• 31:44
  For real this time. Maybe.
• 31:45
  Hopefully. Yeah, insert elevator during
• 31:51
  that part. Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm honestly
• 31:55
  probably, I'm probably just going to trim out some of that
• 31:58
  because it was the back and forth.
• 32:00
  I'm like, oh, that's not going to make it into the final cut.
• 32:02
  I'll just have to, I'll just have to trim that part out.
• 32:06
  I had to do the same thing for last week's episode.
• 32:08
  Yeah. You know.
• 32:14
  Sorry about that. Hey, you know, it happens.
• 32:16
  It's I'm not blaming you. It's all right.
• 32:19
  Part of the part of the excitement of the show, you
• 32:21
  know, you just, you just never know.
• 32:23
  Got. To throw some curveballs out
• 32:25
  there, you know? Yeah, right.
• 32:28
  Yeah. And you know, that's like
• 32:29
  another thing too. It's like it's things like this.
• 32:32
  OK, so we're talking about, you know, things on a podcast or
• 32:35
  things on a, you know, whatever it might be that, that that can
• 32:37
  be discouraged. 1 you know, it's ah, well, you know, I guess
• 32:40
  we'll just call it quits or just put it away or just stop.
• 32:43
  You know, like, no, I got to got to push through, right?
• 32:46
  Persevere, make it happen, dude, you know, learn through the
• 32:49
  process. Same thing with our, our
• 32:52
  interactions with us trying to connect with, with the gods or,
• 32:57
  or any such thing. You know, we're sometimes it's
• 32:59
  going to feel like we're on some sometimes it's going to feel
• 33:01
  like we're dialed in and other times it's going to be like
• 33:04
  this, this frequency issue and it's going to be in and out and
• 33:07
  we're not going to really feel like we're connecting and oh,
• 33:08
  why am I even bothering? You know, Right.
• 33:13
  Yeah, it doesn't stop us. You know, we, we just got to
• 33:15
  keep going. You.
• 33:16
  Know and I think another thing that helps navigating some of
• 33:22
  that disheartening stuff, especially like returning back
• 33:25
  to the topic a little bit is rune work kind of rune casting
• 33:29
  and stuff. Because like rune divination
• 33:32
  could definitely help bridge the misunderstanding or something
• 33:35
  and try to get some sort of messaging back and forth and
• 33:39
  help navigate like what may have gone wrong or if anything went
• 33:43
  wrong in general during like a ritual or just something that
• 33:48
  was just transpiring in your life at that time.
• 33:51
  Definitely would help I would think.
• 33:54
  Yeah, I know I've leveraged the runes across my personal
• 33:59
  matters. I've I've also, you know, we've
• 34:01
  also included them in, you know, group things.
• 34:07
  So yeah, it's, it's definitely a, a, a great tool that can be
• 34:11
  used. It tracks with with what the
• 34:16
  dramatic tribes would do. You know, they at least we know
• 34:19
  that they would cast lots when it came to like asking questions
• 34:23
  for things or or trying to get an answer out of you know, the
• 34:26
  situation, right. Should I do this?
• 34:28
  Should I do not go to war? Don't go to war, You know, like
• 34:31
  those things. And you know, we we don't know
• 34:35
  if it was runes that they were casting per SE, but it was it
• 34:38
  they were, they were casting lots and and what is rune
• 34:40
  casting if not, but a casting of lots?
• 34:42
  It's it's, you know, you're looking at bones, you're looking
• 34:45
  at wood, you're looking at items, you're looking at stones
• 34:47
  in, in your, in your consulting the, the, the, the, the realm of
• 34:53
  the divine. You know, you're consulting the
• 34:54
  norms, you're consulting your ancestors to help with a
• 34:57
  direction on something and give you some sort of insight.
• 35:02
  So it is very, it is very heathen to cast lots and, and to
• 35:07
  use ruins to do so, I feel. And learning that can be a real
• 35:11
  lifelong study as well. You know, you're, you're going
• 35:16
  to pick up a book, you know, you know, it's going to pick up a
• 35:20
  book and then learn everything you need to know about it.
• 35:23
  It's it's, you know, you got to study it and study and study it
• 35:27
  more. And because it makes me think of
• 35:29
  that line from the hover mall where Odin says you do you know
• 35:32
  how to do all these things? You know, do you know how to
• 35:35
  send them? Do you know how to ask of them?
• 35:38
  Do you know how to paint them? Do you know how to bless them?
• 35:40
  Do you know how to, do you know, do you know, do you know, and
• 35:42
  all these various things of involving them with the ruins.
• 35:45
  And then what does the, what does that, what does that mean?
• 35:47
  You know, ruins are are they are mysteries.
• 35:50
  The word ruin means mystery. And it's, you know, so unknown
• 35:53
  things, you know, mysteries and, and consulting them and going
• 35:57
  into tapping into those to to get those answers.
• 36:04
  Yeah. Like one of the main, one of the
• 36:09
  things that I first was taught whenever I was converting from
• 36:14
  Southern Baptist to heathen was this is the religion of
• 36:17
  homework. You're going to read and read
• 36:20
  and read and just try to understand as much as you can.
• 36:25
  But also I've learned throughout the years is reading can only
• 36:29
  get you so far before you have to start taking it from the book
• 36:34
  and putting it into practice. And only you doing it through
• 36:36
  practice. Could you actually like
• 36:37
  understand exactly what you're doing or how you need to
• 36:40
  actually do it? Because especially in modern
• 36:43
  times and everything, so like, we have to adapt and change
• 36:46
  certain aspects of what used to be and what is now in order to
• 36:50
  make it work. Yeah, yeah.
• 36:54
  It reminds me of like and like, it reminds me of like the like
• 36:57
  academics, you know, like some, some folks that are studying
• 37:00
  something and, and they're they're studying the studying
• 37:03
  the subject of it. So everything that they come
• 37:05
  across and that they talk about comes from that angle.
• 37:10
  It's very subjective, you know, or object, you know, or versus
• 37:13
  somebody that might be studying and then applying it
• 37:17
  objectively. You know, it's so there's this,
• 37:21
  you know, difference between subjective and, and objective
• 37:24
  understanding, understanding of things.
• 37:28
  And yeah, like you say, you know, and I feel like any, any
• 37:31
  real study of something, like if you're going to devote your life
• 37:35
  or dedicate your life to a belief, you should know
• 37:39
  something about something. I mean, you shouldn't really
• 37:41
  rely on the words of anybody else to tell you that.
• 37:44
  There are people in a position, I think in, in certain aspects,
• 37:48
  like there's, there's people that are that are in a position
• 37:51
  to guide and to, you know, be a mentor or to teach or to put you
• 37:56
  in the direction of learning. But it is on the individuals to
• 38:01
  learn. Do your own work, do your own
• 38:03
  research. It it's it's like reading
• 38:05
  rainbow man. Don't you don't have to take my
• 38:07
  word for it. Find your own way, do your own
• 38:11
  research. You learn the things yourself,
• 38:14
  but then that gives you the chance to to talk with others
• 38:17
  who have done the same thing. And then you, you know, from
• 38:19
  word begat word, I learned words from Dee begat deed and I
• 38:23
  learned deeds, right, Same thing that Odin talks about in the of
• 38:26
  them all too. It's so you know, you're
• 38:27
  learning, you're you're, you're sharing and and from those
• 38:30
  learnings and from those sharings comes more of that you.
• 38:35
  Know absolutely and like, and I think the kind of you know, stay
• 38:41
  on topic too is through learning those things and learning how
• 38:46
  like your aunt like even if ancestors you may not even been
• 38:49
  known that you were related to like I've seen people share
• 38:54
  online and stuff recently like ancient ancestors.
• 38:58
  They didn't even realize that they were related to learning
• 39:02
  what their deeds might have been what their aspirations are.
• 39:05
  And now that they know that their, their bloodline ties
• 39:07
  themselves to them, they could renovate or not renovate,
• 39:12
  venerate them a little bit better and kind of like
• 39:16
  appreciate them a little bit more in their ancestral works.
• 39:19
  And then by also doing that, they can also like say like 1
• 39:23
  ancestor might be more focused on community outreach and stuff
• 39:30
  like that. Well, now that they can know
• 39:32
  that ancestor did a bunch of community work, they can also
• 39:35
  look at a certain God or goddess, tie them to that
• 39:38
  ancestor and start like making a web of weird for example, tying
• 39:42
  them all together, making it into something that works.
• 39:46
  And that they can just venerate it all at once and kind of like
• 39:50
  encompass their ancestors and God or goddesses all at the same
• 39:54
  time and work like that, I think.
• 39:59
  Yeah, you bring up something that made me key in on you.
• 40:06
  You meant you said something. Maybe key in on a on a specific
• 40:08
  thing like. Ancestors that may be good at a
• 40:11
  particular thing and when you need help with something, right,
• 40:18
  sort of sort of consulting that ancestor for help with the thing
• 40:23
  that that they were good at or that they were known for, that
• 40:26
  they were particularly efficient.
• 40:29
  And I never, I never really, I never thought of it that way.
• 40:33
  You know, I never, I always up to this point have thought of
• 40:37
  like the ancestors as, as of course, you know, being
• 40:39
  connected to me. But I never, I never thought of
• 40:43
  the application of thinking, well, you know, not all of my
• 40:48
  ancestors were great at public speaking or, or, or building a
• 40:52
  house or, or growing a garden, right?
• 40:56
  But right. But that, that one ancestor,
• 40:58
  that one aunt, that one uncle, that one grandparent, that one,
• 41:01
  you know, that my mom, my dad, whoever or whatever it was, you
• 41:04
  know, that one person was really good.
• 41:07
  Like they had a, they had a green thumb.
• 41:09
  And if I want to grow my garden and I want to grow it, well,
• 41:11
  should, maybe I should pay attention and, and, and, and
• 41:14
  give special notice and, and attention to that ancestor or
• 41:19
  ancestral lying, you know, to get help and attention with
• 41:22
  growing my garden. Have you?
• 41:26
  And I don't know if I don't know if that's what you intended on
• 41:31
  keying in on when you said that that's what it did to me.
• 41:33
  Is that what you meant to? Yeah, yeah.
• 41:38
  See, my, my dad, he was, I would consider our first like Gothy or
• 41:42
  Gethya. He's our first spiritual leader,
• 41:47
  whatever term you want to use. He was our first spiritual
• 41:51
  leader. And I'm also have Cherokee in me
• 41:53
  as well. So my dad was two spirited.
• 41:56
  He my dad was trans and my dad had a saying that the blood of
• 42:03
  blood remembers and he my dad had wrote it in her like book of
• 42:09
  shadows. And what I think she meant by
• 42:12
  that was is like, no matter if you don't remember what your
• 42:19
  what blood you have, your blood will always remember who it was.
• 42:24
  So that's why I kind of like, you know, said what I said was
• 42:28
  because even if you'd never known that your ancestor was a
• 42:34
  massive farmer or something like that, your blood does.
• 42:38
  So even if you didn't can't say them by name.
• 42:42
  That was the saying that my dad would and can't pretty much and
• 42:47
  rituals and stuff to kind of call forth the ancestors that
• 42:50
  our minds might not remember, but our blood will.
• 42:54
  And so that kind of why I said what I said was because even if
• 42:58
  you don't know what ancestor might be good at one thing or
• 43:01
  another, there's thousands of them and one of them probably
• 43:04
  is. Yeah, no, that's a.
• 43:08
  That's a really important observation.
• 43:10
  I think it, it, it definitely falls under the importance of
• 43:14
  that, that heathens have on ancestor veneration.
• 43:16
  I think it helps because I've had those conversations before
• 43:20
  very recently even, you know, with people who say, well, I
• 43:23
  don't really know this person's name.
• 43:28
  I don't know who they are. I, I don't know much about them,
• 43:31
  if anything, let alone their name and all that, you know, and
• 43:36
  I think that can be, that can be, that can present a bit of a
• 43:39
  challenge, especially for folks that are new to this and even
• 43:42
  for folks that are seasoned without proper study, without
• 43:45
  proper, you know, learning, what do you call it?
• 43:49
  You know, like how do you connect with this ancestor who
• 43:53
  you don't know from a hill of beans or you don't really have
• 43:55
  much information about and you may not know their name even.
• 43:59
  So I think what you said can, can really help people with
• 44:03
  that. So thanks for sharing.
• 44:05
  Absolutely. Yeah, it also makes me think it
• 44:10
  also sorry not to to. I wanted to touch one more thing
• 44:12
  too. It doesn't make me forget also
• 44:15
  the fact that there can be things because what are we
• 44:18
  talking about? Like why, why, why as heathens
• 44:20
  do we feel that that our ancestors have, are, are so
• 44:24
  important to us? Well, it's because this this the
• 44:27
  web of weird that they that we are a part of with them.
• 44:30
  Everybody, everyone is weaving their own individual webs.
• 44:33
  There's this larger web of weird that exists in this tapestry
• 44:36
  that we're kind of woven into, but in a, a familial line and,
• 44:40
  and through our ancestors. There's that web and, or if you
• 44:44
  look at it also in the, in the concept concepts of a well, you
• 44:48
  know, things being poured into the well that we are that or log
• 44:53
  or orlay that, that, that primal layer and, and things being
• 44:57
  poured into the well. And it makes me think that there
• 45:01
  have been a lot of not everything that ends up in the
• 45:05
  web or in the well is good for overall.
• 45:11
  There's, there's, there's, there's bad things, there's
• 45:13
  poison, there's, there's, there's, there's negative stuff
• 45:16
  that gets added to all of that. And when that happens through
• 45:22
  through through familial actions, 11 can fall into to the
• 45:30
  trap of feeling like, well, this is like my lot in life.
• 45:33
  This is why I am the way I am, because this is what I was
• 45:36
  given. Right.
• 45:38
  Right. This is the, this is the web
• 45:40
  that was woven to me or something.
• 45:44
  Do you have anything you want to say to that or any any thoughts
• 45:46
  about what that can do for somebody in their in their
• 45:49
  devotion to the gods or to their ancestors or how that can be a
• 45:53
  challenge? I, I think if they're have start
• 45:58
  going down that path and their mindset and everything that they
• 46:00
  probably need to remember. The fact that even though the
• 46:03
  web has has was already there whenever you were created or
• 46:07
  born, does not mean that you have to follow the same thread
• 46:12
  that was laid out before you. The web is constantly ever
• 46:15
  expanding and changing and yeah, I believe in fate and destiny
• 46:19
  and stuff, but I think we are in charge of some aspects of our
• 46:22
  own fate and we can take that thread and deviate when we need
• 46:25
  to. Not everybody is set to like
• 46:28
  certain traditions or certain aspects of famille ties or even
• 46:31
  ties to like their patron gods and stuff.
• 46:34
  Like Odin, Like he's my patron. I would say my main focus.
• 46:39
  Sometimes even reading some of his stories, you can see where
• 46:43
  he messed up, where things might have not gone the way it should
• 46:47
  have gone because he made did 8 XY and Z.
• 46:51
  And I think the reason why we know that that he like messed up
• 46:55
  in certain aspects is because he wanted us to know that like,
• 46:59
  hey, even though, you know, I did this and this outcome had, I
• 47:02
  was still able to do this and this and this.
• 47:05
  So pretty much don't let setbacks and stuff like hold
• 47:10
  hold you in that spot and just be in charge of what's happening
• 47:13
  in the now and then try to plan for the waves in the future
• 47:17
  pretty much. Yeah, I, I, I like that.
• 47:22
  You know, I, I was told, I was told something that kind of
• 47:26
  echoes what you're saying a bit. And, and what was told to me
• 47:30
  was, you know, break the mold, you know, be a change that's
• 47:37
  needed just because you had this thing happen.
• 47:43
  And this is where you arrived because of all of the things
• 47:46
  that happened in the past, you know, whether it was influence
• 47:50
  or molding or anything, right? You, you, you're at this point
• 47:54
  in your life now and you have a choice.
• 47:55
  You can either remain the same as it's always been, or you can
• 48:00
  smash them, break the mold and and be be the change right for
• 48:05
  the future. Because the, the next iteration,
• 48:08
  the next change that happens after you is going to be because
• 48:11
  of you. You know that, that, that, that
• 48:14
  ancestral luck, You know, if it was ill luck, if it was poison,
• 48:18
  if it was bad and it reached you, now's your chance to take
• 48:23
  control of it and, and clean it out.
• 48:25
  Break that mold and and start fresh and start over.
• 48:30
  Absolutely, yeah. And if the if people do who sat
• 48:35
  half the brick got mold and everything, I would say to them
• 48:38
  that it might be lonely at first, but the loneliness is
• 48:42
  temporary. Like whenever I first started
• 48:44
  down this path, I was the only Norse Pagan in my entire family
• 48:47
  other than my father. There was just two of us and it
• 48:50
  was it. I didn't have no friends or
• 48:52
  anybody close to me that other than, you know, my wife and
• 48:56
  stuff. But no, like external forces
• 48:58
  came with me. And so it was pretty lonely at
• 49:01
  first. I was, it's very solitary, but
• 49:05
  time moves and nothing stays as it was.
• 49:09
  And so now I have a whole tribe with me now of just people.
• 49:14
  And I'm no longer practicing in my bedroom or in my living room.
• 49:17
  I'm going out to parks and, you know, in my yard and stuff and
• 49:24
  doing stuff collectively with a group now instead of just by
• 49:27
  myself or with my immediate family.
• 49:29
  So nothing stays solitary. Even if you are enjoying your
• 49:33
  solitary at the moment, once you get a taste of a community, it's
• 49:39
  quite intoxicating I would say. Yeah, yeah.
• 49:42
  It feeds that sort of inner, that inner desire to, to connect
• 49:46
  and be a part of something which I think exists in all humans.
• 49:49
  We're a social creature, you know what I mean?
• 49:51
  We, we, we crave connectedness and, and community like we, we
• 49:56
  crave that at our very primal selves.
• 49:59
  So when you can find your tribe, your group, your people and
• 50:04
  connect with them at a spiritual level, at a deeper level, it is
• 50:08
  very enriching. And it's like you say, it's
• 50:10
  intoxicating. It's it it's like it it fills
• 50:12
  the voids that have have been there, you know, for for all
• 50:17
  time. And it makes you think too
• 50:20
  about, you know, with the gods, the Acer, you know, gods
• 50:25
  specifically, if you're looking at it from like a Norse angle,
• 50:30
  they are all different. You know, they all have
• 50:32
  different qualities, characteristics, They all are.
• 50:36
  And it may you know, I start thinking today when you talk
• 50:38
  about Odin, you know, so many names in in in the in was it
• 50:44
  grim to small? I think that he is that he
• 50:46
  recites that he that he tells AI am known by this.
• 50:48
  I'm known by that. And it's, you know, and, and
• 50:51
  across the lore and across the sagas, you know, it's something
• 50:53
  like 140 different names or some, some odd, like it's a lot.
• 50:59
  And each of them means something different.
• 51:00
  Each of them are like it's like a characteristic or or a
• 51:04
  persona. You know, I got to thinking like
• 51:08
  one of the one of the most popular ones.
• 51:10
  Like when you think of Odin, right, you think of of one eyed
• 51:13
  wanderer. You know, the wanderer that's a
• 51:17
  popular one, I think is, is Odin as the wanderer with Odin being
• 51:23
  such an important figure for you.
• 51:25
  I was thinking about this today because I went out on a walk
• 51:28
  today and you know, by myself, I was, I knew where I was going,
• 51:32
  but I was just, I was wandering, you know, and do you, have you,
• 51:36
  have you ever thought about that particular character that, that
• 51:41
  aspect of Odin as the wanderer and why, why he wandered?
• 51:46
  You know, what, what, what caused him to wander away from
• 51:49
  his tribe? Like have you ever thought about
• 51:50
  that and and kind of with reason or thoughts?
• 51:56
  Yeah, yeah. Like growing up and everything,
• 52:01
  my family was very nomadic. We really didn't stay in one
• 52:04
  spot. So I think that's why when I,
• 52:07
  you know, went and converted to Heathenry and, you know, Norse
• 52:10
  and stuff, that's why I kind of focused on him a lot because he
• 52:13
  did wander. And I think the reason he
• 52:16
  wandered, at least from from my perspective, is you can learn a
• 52:21
  lot with your tribe. Your tribe can definitely,
• 52:24
  especially if it's a positive environment and a good tribe to
• 52:28
  be around, they can uplift you and teach you things about
• 52:31
  yourself collectively of how you can operate in a group of like
• 52:35
  minded people. But I think it's also important
• 52:37
  to every once in a while just grab your stick and cloak and
• 52:40
  just go out. And because that whenever you do
• 52:44
  that, you can kind of figure out other aspects of yourself that
• 52:48
  you wouldn't have been able to experience with your tribe
• 52:52
  because they've been there to help you through those
• 52:54
  experience. So you wouldn't be able to
• 52:55
  figure out like, hey, I got this power in me too.
• 52:57
  I can do this as well without them.
• 53:00
  Even though I love and care for them deeply, I can still do
• 53:04
  this. And I think it's kind of like he
• 53:06
  wanted to make sure that if he was going to be the king of the
• 53:09
  gods, he would be the king of the gods and would be able to
• 53:13
  guide them whenever they were pretty much alone.
• 53:15
  And I think he'd need those experiences and stuff in order
• 53:19
  to be who he became to be. Yes, but like, like you like you
• 53:26
  need that. You need that time alone to for,
• 53:30
  for the quiet, for the introspection.
• 53:37
  Yeah, I, I, when I went out on my walk today, I got to thinking
• 53:40
  about that. And I go, man, I wonder, I
• 53:42
  wonder if Odin ever felt like God, these people get on my
• 53:46
  nerves. And he just had to like leave
• 53:47
  just to clear his head, you know, like Freya with her all
• 53:51
  his nose wanting to screw everything.
• 53:52
  And Thor with his drinking and his hammer and God, that Loki
• 53:55
  son of a bitch, you know, like all this, like, you know, how
• 53:58
  family, how you spend time, just need a break from, from the
• 54:01
  people that you love. And you, you know, you just
• 54:02
  like, I got to go, 'cause you think of like some of the other
• 54:06
  aspects of Odin too, you know, the, the, the wittiness, the,
• 54:09
  the, the, the, the craftiness, the, the, the diabolical miss or
• 54:12
  whatever of it. It just makes me think like
• 54:14
  sometimes I bet he, you know, and again, a personal thought of
• 54:17
  mine, this is nothing to do with anything of historical source or
• 54:23
  anything very, very UPG what we're talking about here.
• 54:25
  So fair warning for everybody that listens.
• 54:29
  Yeah, my UPG today when I was out there was like, yeah, I bet
• 54:31
  he just got, I bet every now and then that Odin as the wanderer,
• 54:35
  he wasn't trying to figure out anything of himself or learn
• 54:38
  anything to bring back to his tribe.
• 54:40
  I think there were sometimes that he just wandered to get a
• 54:43
  clear, just to be quiet, just to get away from people.
• 54:47
  Oh yeah, it isn't. God damn peace and quiet, you
• 54:50
  know, whatever. So, Empire Loki cutting
• 54:54
  everybody's freaking hair, I'm gone.
• 54:56
  Yeah, you know, this, this, this, Yeah, just, you know, so,
• 55:00
  yeah, big UPG thing there. But I had to, I had to throw
• 55:03
  that in, especially with you as as Odin being kind of like a
• 55:06
  focal point of your, of your heathenry.
• 55:09
  He's so complex, you know, there there's so many multifaceted
• 55:15
  God, you know, and, and you can't help but just dive into
• 55:18
  maybe one or more of those aspects at any given point in
• 55:20
  time. And the wonder of being probably
• 55:22
  a very really popular one. I thought, man, let's let's ask
• 55:26
  Bradley about that because I had a recent experience about it
• 55:29
  too. And it's it's a lot of my
• 55:33
  nature. Go ahead.
• 55:35
  No, it's OK. Go, go, you go, you go first.
• 55:38
  Oh, I was just going to bounce off of your nature walk.
• 55:41
  Like my, I live on like 5 acres, a lot of it's wooded and
• 55:45
  everything. So I'll go on walks around the
• 55:48
  property and stuff every once in a while.
• 55:50
  And a lot of those are dedicated to him.
• 55:52
  And I'm just out there really just internally meditating.
• 55:54
  I might not be sitting in one place meditating but I'm
• 55:57
  definitely just trying to break away for a second.
• 56:00
  But. Yeah.
• 56:01
  What were you trying to say? Well, just that that that, you
• 56:06
  know, today on on my walk, it was like I find myself talking
• 56:14
  out loud, you know, it was so cold today.
• 56:16
  It was it was in the teens, so there weren't a lot of people
• 56:19
  out on. It was a nice day.
• 56:21
  It was a sunny day, but it wasn't a day that most people
• 56:24
  would want to be out in on a Greenway walking near the river
• 56:28
  and stuff because it was so cold.
• 56:30
  But man, I threw my poncho on. I bundled layered up and I
• 56:32
  walked and I took my stick and I just went for a walk and I was
• 56:35
  out there. You know, I'm, I'm talking out
• 56:36
  loud. I'm like, man, if there was
• 56:38
  anybody with an earshot of me, I'd, I'd, I'd be looking like a
• 56:40
  crazy person, you know, out here talking to myself, having,
• 56:44
  having a monologue about situations, things, and I'm
• 56:49
  facing, you know, just having to get it out.
• 56:51
  And then I, I found myself in a place where I just sat and I
• 56:57
  didn't talk and I just sat quiet and just thought, you know, and
• 57:02
  all these thoughts going through your mind and, and you're just
• 57:04
  sitting there and all you hear is, you know, the birds or the
• 57:08
  winds. And so you're in silence and
• 57:11
  you're getting a chance to think.
• 57:13
  And, and then, you know, I get back up and I walk again.
• 57:16
  And next thing you know, I'm having that monologue and I'm
• 57:18
  like this, this is so like, you know, the picture Odin as the
• 57:22
  wanderer And again, being, being kind of the, the, the mad one as
• 57:28
  he's also known, you know, I'm sure he was out there, you know,
• 57:31
  just jabbering away with nobody to listen to him, but just
• 57:35
  himself and his thoughts. And, you know, maybe Hugin and
• 57:39
  Munin or whatever. But again, just the, that UPG
• 57:42
  thought like I'm embracing this, this, this aspect of, of a God
• 57:48
  that we know of from, from, from the lore, from the stories, but
• 57:50
  making it something personal to me.
• 57:53
  No, not dedicating a day per SE, but the OR like the day of the
• 57:56
  week. But, but, but going out and, and
• 57:58
  having a moment and putting him in my mind and, and, and having
• 58:02
  this relationship with him, whether he was there or not.
• 58:05
  It was just, it was a moment that I needed to experience and
• 58:08
  I wanted to, to have. And it was.
• 58:10
  That's what I connected with it through.
• 58:13
  My. Wanderings, you know, and, and
• 58:16
  then, you know, leave the tribe, leave the homestead, leave the
• 58:19
  people, right and then you come back and there was, you know,
• 58:26
  the reasons why I left and you know, were a thing, you know,
• 58:29
  'cause that was that was that that that's a whole other aspect
• 58:33
  of, you know, why we why we seek solitude, why we seek isolation.
• 58:38
  You know, it's, it's for the quiet a lot of times.
• 58:40
  And again, for the other time, it's because I just need a break
• 58:42
  from these. And, and then you get a chance
• 58:46
  to hear yourself and talk to yourself and then hear other
• 58:48
  things that come to you in that silence or in that reflection
• 58:51
  time. And, and then when you come
• 58:54
  back, you have hopefully like a renewed and, and a refreshed
• 59:00
  sense to be able to reconnect with your people, you know, and
• 59:04
  have, you know, whether it's conversations or dialogue with
• 59:07
  those people again, based on your, you know, internal
• 59:11
  monologues or your isolated wanderings.
• 59:13
  And it's like, it's, it's very cathartic.
• 59:16
  At least, you know, for me, we, we, we talk a lot of day, a lot
• 59:21
  of times nowadays, especially, you know, people needing their
• 59:25
  safe space or having a space that they can feel safe in, you
• 59:29
  know, and I don't know, like, I always just like nature.
• 59:36
  That's, that's where I go. I, you know, if I'm having a
• 59:39
  conflict or if there's turmoil, I might go lay down in a room or
• 59:44
  something or sitting, you know, by myself in a room.
• 59:46
  But I don't want to be boxed in per SE.
• 59:47
  If I can't, if I don't have to be, I'd rather be out near the
• 59:51
  river. I'd rather be standing in the
• 59:53
  woods or, or, or something, right?
• 59:55
  Like that's my safe space, if you want to call it that.
• 1:00:00
  I mean, I don't use that terminology very often because
• 1:00:02
  it doesn't speak to me. But it, you know what I mean?
• 1:00:03
  Like that, that type of thing. Something where you can kind of
• 1:00:08
  center yourself in, like be able to kind of disconnect yourself
• 1:00:14
  from the norms of your everyday life to where somewhere nature's
• 1:00:18
  both chaotic and cathartic, where you can kind of like you
• 1:00:22
  said, you're sitting in silence, but it wasn't really silent
• 1:00:27
  because you could still hear the wind and the birds and
• 1:00:29
  everything. So it's kind of like just
• 1:00:32
  connecting to your inner monologue and or your external
• 1:00:36
  monologue, whatever's going on, and then you're able to just
• 1:00:39
  kind of incorporate that and just kind of come back to pretty
• 1:00:43
  much your inner self, I guess you could call it.
• 1:00:46
  Yeah. Instead of reacting.
• 1:00:53
  Yep, because that's that, you know, that's you talk about
• 1:00:56
  personal things with with the with the gods and and our
• 1:00:59
  personal relationship with the gods is is I have a propensity
• 1:01:03
  to be reactionary. Very Thor like.
• 1:01:07
  I don't really think too much before.
• 1:01:09
  I just, I'm just, you know, and just throw the hammer down.
• 1:01:11
  And it's, it's, it's such a, the, the times that it's needed
• 1:01:18
  aren't as many as the times that it's not it's I, I, I have this
• 1:01:22
  explosive way of being and it's, it's, I need to like remind
• 1:01:29
  myself, like hold on there, bud. You know, this is, these aren't
• 1:01:32
  your enemies. These aren't the Yoten, you
• 1:01:34
  know, like this isn't, this isn't the place to, to, to drop
• 1:01:38
  the hammer and to and to hurl the hammer in a destructive way.
• 1:01:42
  You know, this is, this is a place to wield the hammer and
• 1:01:46
  hold it as a defense, as a, as, as a protection, you know, and,
• 1:01:51
  and these are the people that you need to love and protect.
• 1:01:53
  And it's, these aren't your enemies.
• 1:01:55
  You know, don't, don't be, don't be malicious.
• 1:01:57
  And, and you know, take that, take that ability to be
• 1:02:03
  unapologetic in your actions and, and, and strong in your
• 1:02:06
  resolve, right? Take those actions, take that
• 1:02:09
  energy, put and put it where it needs to go.
• 1:02:11
  Don't, don't put, don't apply it inward, right?
• 1:02:16
  Absolutely. So.
• 1:02:19
  Yeah, I, I could definitely relate with that.
• 1:02:21
  I, I'm very reactionary as well, especially if I think either I
• 1:02:26
  and I take stuff personally even when I probably shouldn't or
• 1:02:30
  what not. And.
• 1:02:32
  Me too. And so and then after it's all
• 1:02:37
  said and done, if I hadn't stopped and take took my breath
• 1:02:40
  or whatnot, then I'm like, well, I kind of went off the handle
• 1:02:45
  there for a minute, didn't I? Yeah, but, and so that's why I,
• 1:02:51
  whenever I first converted into Heathenry, I was definitely Thor
• 1:02:55
  based just because of my reactionary personality and my
• 1:02:58
  hot headedness. I definitely seen myself in Thor
• 1:03:02
  quite a bit. But throughout the years, I
• 1:03:04
  definitely still see those aspects of Thor within me.
• 1:03:07
  But I try to focus on Odin's like calmness.
• 1:03:12
  Like, yeah, he's also the God of War and stuff like that, but
• 1:03:16
  he's not unintentionally off the rails.
• 1:03:22
  He'll he'll do things. He will stop and think.
• 1:03:27
  Yeah, he's got that wit and that that.
• 1:03:29
  That so that's why I. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:35
  The wit, the the, the cunning, the thought ahead of times, you
• 1:03:39
  know, think before you act. I think that that's more
• 1:03:44
  indicative of Odin's, you know, behavior.
• 1:03:48
  He does something like you say, you know, he's he's he's
• 1:03:49
  definitely known for doing, having done some, some wild and
• 1:03:53
  crazy things. But like, yeah, like I, you
• 1:03:56
  know, you talked about, you know, flying off the handle and,
• 1:03:59
  and having to like take a sit, sit a seat back or a step back
• 1:04:03
  and, and reflecting on that. It's I'm having so much of that
• 1:04:08
  stuff going on just recently where I'm like, I've been told,
• 1:04:11
  you know, like stop, stop taking things as an attack.
• 1:04:15
  You know, when, when we are faced with hard truths, when we
• 1:04:21
  are faced with things that are not easy to deal with about
• 1:04:25
  ourselves, about a situation, maybe, you know, maybe I'm
• 1:04:32
  speaking for more people than I realize, but speaking for myself
• 1:04:35
  only right now, when those hard truths are, are brought up in
• 1:04:41
  front of us, it's easy for me to like get on the defensive and,
• 1:04:48
  and, and feel like I'm being attacked because of these, you
• 1:04:51
  know, issues, the shortcomings When, when, what is what, when,
• 1:04:55
  when in reality, what is happening is that there are
• 1:05:00
  people that are caring so much that they're refusing to let
• 1:05:04
  those things go and they're holding me accountable.
• 1:05:08
  And part of accountability is facing those hard truths.
• 1:05:11
  It's you're falling short of the mark, bub.
• 1:05:14
  You know, it makes me think like what Frith means.
• 1:05:18
  Frith is this and you know, sacred inviolability between
• 1:05:21
  kin. When your kinsmen are, are, are
• 1:05:25
  are screwing up, You know, you got to let them know.
• 1:05:28
  You got to check them. You got to you got to check in,
• 1:05:31
  you got to you got to hold them accountable.
• 1:05:33
  And then if they're falling short, be like, Hey, you've got
• 1:05:36
  to fix it. You're, you're, you're, you're
• 1:05:38
  not upholding Frith with us. You're, you're, you're falling
• 1:05:41
  short. And, and while, while not
• 1:05:44
  everybody may understand what the Frith thing means, this is a
• 1:05:46
  big part of it. I'm, I'm coming to really learn
• 1:05:49
  because I'm, I'm, I'm experiencing it and I'm living
• 1:05:51
  it. And I'm realizing that, man,
• 1:05:54
  Frith isn't just about keeping your head down and being nice
• 1:05:57
  for the sake of being nice. No, it's about stirring it up.
• 1:05:59
  It's about, it's about poking people where they need to be
• 1:06:02
  poked and, and saying, you know what?
• 1:06:06
  You're not upholding what you say you're going to do.
• 1:06:09
  You're talking the talk, are you?
• 1:06:10
  But you're not really walking the walk yet.
• 1:06:12
  And I'm holding you accountable because these are your words.
• 1:06:15
  This is what you said you would do and you're not doing it.
• 1:06:18
  So I'm holding you accountable. Shape up, get better.
• 1:06:22
  And that's tough, man. Like that.
• 1:06:23
  That's, that's hard to face those things when you feel like,
• 1:06:27
  you know, well, I, I, I've done all I can do or I, I, I've done
• 1:06:30
  the best I can do. But really, have you or are you
• 1:06:33
  just? Absolutely.
• 1:06:36
  You know, accepting the fact that no, you know, are you
• 1:06:41
  accepting the feet? And yeah.
• 1:06:45
  And that's why it's important to have, you know, tribe mates and
• 1:06:48
  people around you like that, even if they're not part of your
• 1:06:50
  tribe, they're just if you can or just in your circle, it's
• 1:06:54
  important to have those people that have that backbone that
• 1:06:56
  could look you to your face and be like, hey, you're not doing
• 1:07:01
  this. Like it's good to have those
• 1:07:03
  people. And that's why like I mentioned
• 1:07:05
  earlier with the solitary part, like you'll enjoy your
• 1:07:08
  solitariness while you're learning, but at some point,
• 1:07:11
  whenever you get that tribe that holds you to what you say, it's
• 1:07:15
  going to help you. You're going to grow.
• 1:07:17
  They're going to help you through it.
• 1:07:18
  They're might be stern at times and they you definitely won't
• 1:07:21
  like it. Nobody likes telling, getting
• 1:07:24
  hurt, getting told that they're, you know, messing up or not
• 1:07:26
  doing something. It's not comfortable.
• 1:07:28
  But the uncomfortability is when the true growth mostly, mostly
• 1:07:32
  happens when the bend winds bending the branches.
• 1:07:36
  They might not break, but it'll help them grow in a different
• 1:07:39
  direction. Pretty much.
• 1:07:42
  Yeah, OK, that's a that's a key. That's a key observation.
• 1:07:50
  Growing in the direction, right. Growing in directions and what
• 1:07:55
  what change can mean. I'm, I'm the type of person who
• 1:08:00
  I don't like change. I'm I'm, I'm a creature of
• 1:08:02
  habit. And when I'm ingrained into my
• 1:08:07
  habits, I don't like them disturbed and and but what is
• 1:08:15
  life full of? Life is full of changes.
• 1:08:17
  There are things that have to change.
• 1:08:20
  You know, the, the, the, the seasons change the structure of
• 1:08:24
  the landscape. Nature is, is constantly
• 1:08:27
  changing. It's it's inevitable.
• 1:08:29
  And to to fight the change is to good is to go against the
• 1:08:32
  current. It's it's to defy natural law.
• 1:08:38
  It is uncomfortable. You you, you bring up a very
• 1:08:41
  important point that change is uncomfortable.
• 1:08:44
  Being told that you're falling short of the mark and having
• 1:08:47
  that sternness brought upon you is uncomfortable.
• 1:08:51
  It gives, you know, for people like me, it gives us the the
• 1:08:57
  propensity to want to become defensive and to take it as a
• 1:09:00
  personal attack. I I think if people and I've
• 1:09:08
  been, I've had to learn this, you know, and I've been taught
• 1:09:11
  this recently. You know, if, if people didn't
• 1:09:13
  care and they, you know, worry about the day when, when people
• 1:09:17
  stop bringing things up to your attention, worry about the day
• 1:09:20
  when they don't care anymore to make it their obligation to call
• 1:09:27
  you out and to check in with you and to be like, Hey, you're not,
• 1:09:30
  you know, also, you know, when you're doing good, you know, has
• 1:09:33
  a, you're doing great, you know, giving that affirmation stuff.
• 1:09:36
  But a when you're not, if they stop telling you that you're not
• 1:09:40
  doing good and and you're falling short, that's when
• 1:09:44
  they've given up that, that that Frith has been broken.
• 1:09:48
  And you know, you've essentially at that point just been been
• 1:09:52
  outlawed in a way, like you've been cast out of that inner
• 1:09:55
  society. And we know that from from a
• 1:09:57
  heathen perspective, like that's that's the worst thing that can
• 1:10:00
  possibly happen is is to be, you know, broken off from and and to
• 1:10:04
  have Frith broken. You're you're you're on your own
• 1:10:08
  bud, and enjoy your you like your isolation so much.
• 1:10:11
  You like your solitary whatever so much have fun.
• 1:10:14
  You, you know, we're not here to help you no more that we've been
• 1:10:17
  giving up. And that's a that's a scary
• 1:10:22
  opposition. Yeah.
• 1:10:24
  That's. That's a great thing to think
• 1:10:25
  about, yeah. Yeah, so I don't like with, I'm
• 1:10:33
  the Chieftain of my tribe and I'm a giant, so to speak.
• 1:10:38
  I, I mean, I'm, I'm pretty sure you're not a small guy either.
• 1:10:41
  And so like people of our, you know, size in general can kind
• 1:10:46
  of intimidate just almost anybody around us not to tell us
• 1:10:50
  those things. And affirmations are great, but
• 1:10:53
  those are sometimes the easiest, easiest to give.
• 1:10:58
  So that's in my own. And so like in my personal
• 1:11:03
  experience, like my friend Rob, probably the he's a brother to
• 1:11:08
  me, honestly, he's the oath sworn brother like, and he has
• 1:11:12
  helped me so much in the six years that me and him have
• 1:11:16
  become friends that it's phenomenal.
• 1:11:19
  And so like, just having him in my corner along with my wife,
• 1:11:24
  like my wife's held me accountable for a lot of years.
• 1:11:28
  So she's excited to have A tag team partner, pretty much to be
• 1:11:32
  like, hey, you know. When I'm tired of his ass, But
• 1:11:37
  yeah, tap him in. When I'm tired of his ass, you
• 1:11:39
  go in there and deal with it, No?
• 1:11:42
  Absolutely, because like I'll say like, hey, I'm not going to
• 1:11:46
  do this no more. And then now it's instead of
• 1:11:48
  just her being the only one saying, hey, remember you said
• 1:11:50
  you're not going to do that. Like, for example, I'd say for
• 1:11:57
  almost six years, like I smoked, you know, marijuana and stuff
• 1:12:02
  for a while. And I kept saying, you know,
• 1:12:05
  this is going to be the day I'm going to quit.
• 1:12:06
  I'm going to quit here. I'm going to do, I'm going to,
• 1:12:08
  you know, stop, stop it here and whatnot.
• 1:12:10
  And then I kept saying it, but I never did it.
• 1:12:13
  And she got tired of me saying it and just pretty much went,
• 1:12:18
  OK, if you say so, like and stuff.
• 1:12:22
  And then I believe you. Yeah.
• 1:12:25
  Yeah. And then Rob, he's kind of
• 1:12:28
  helped me stay accountable to it.
• 1:12:30
  He's like, hey, you still haven't.
• 1:12:32
  Like, I'm sober now. I'm 100% sober.
• 1:12:34
  I haven't drank alcohol in almost nine months.
• 1:12:37
  And then I haven't smoked anything for almost 5.
• 1:12:41
  And the circle that I have around me right now is
• 1:12:44
  definitely like they check in on me like, hey, you're not, you
• 1:12:48
  know, wanting to go smoke because like it's an addiction
• 1:12:51
  like anything else, like smoking, drinking, whatever it
• 1:12:54
  is, you can be addicted to it. Like you could be the drug
• 1:12:57
  itself might not be addicting, but you can be addicting to how
• 1:13:00
  it makes you feel. That could be addicting.
• 1:13:03
  And I just through my ass and, you know, family lines and thing
• 1:13:10
  all my family had addictive personalities and it was just
• 1:13:12
  something I struggled with. And I just put more money into
• 1:13:15
  that than I could when I could have just put it in other
• 1:13:18
  places. And so that having that circle
• 1:13:20
  and having people like look me in the face and being like, Hey,
• 1:13:24
  you know, you're still owning that shit.
• 1:13:26
  Like you're, you're here, right? And I'm like, yeah, I haven't
• 1:13:29
  touched it and everything. And you know, they then they
• 1:13:31
  affirm, give me an affirmation. They're like, good deal.
• 1:13:34
  I'm glad to hear it, you know, and just having those people
• 1:13:37
  around you that can correct you, but also, you know, patch you on
• 1:13:40
  the back whenever you're doing it, especially something hard
• 1:13:43
  like it's, it's awesome. Yeah.
• 1:13:47
  And wherever they find that strength, the because the do
• 1:13:53
  that. That's great.
• 1:13:54
  Like. No, man, I, you know, I get it.
• 1:13:58
  Like in stature, like, you know, you see, how about like people's
• 1:14:02
  size and whatnot. I mean, I'm statutorily speaking
• 1:14:07
  or whatever. Like I'm not, I'm like 5-9,
• 1:14:10
  almost barely 5-10, you know what I mean?
• 1:14:12
  Like I'm, I'm under 200 lbs. I'm not a large person, but I I
• 1:14:17
  walk and I carry myself with a personality that makes it
• 1:14:21
  difficult for people to come to me with things at least.
• 1:14:27
  I honestly thought you were like 6 foot 2:00-ish.
• 1:14:31
  Yeah, no, then that's you're not the only one that has said that,
• 1:14:34
  you know, like, I mean, like I I've had people that like, oh,
• 1:14:36
  you know, when they meet me in person, like I was expecting
• 1:14:40
  somebody bigger, you know, I'm like, OK, you know, but it's
• 1:14:45
  that's fair. But I guess I don't know if it's
• 1:14:47
  just again, it's the persona, it's it's the attitude.
• 1:14:49
  It's it's the, the, the, the, the, the thing that you're good
• 1:14:55
  or not. Maybe we got frozen.
• 1:15:02
  It's my stature. Dag on it Here.
• 1:15:11
  I'll just drop him from there. That was awkward goodness.
• 1:15:21
  OK, Maybe he comes back, maybe he doesn't.
• 1:15:26
  But anyways, point being is like, you know, guys, I'm, I'm
• 1:15:28
  not a large man and I'm, you know, stature wise, I, I, but
• 1:15:36
  but sizes and everything and, and people have had a hard time
• 1:15:45
  coming to me with things that I've needed to hear.
• 1:15:49
  And bless her heart, you know, my wife has been the 1:00 to
• 1:15:55
  stand in front of me and be that, be that one to put me in
• 1:16:00
  check. You know, she's all of five too.
• 1:16:03
  So, you know, stature doesn't doesn't necessarily mean
• 1:16:07
  everything in the grand scheme of things.
• 1:16:10
  It can, it can set a, you know, set a set a sort of stage or or
• 1:16:15
  standard, if you will, of, of of a person's desire or wish or
• 1:16:23
  propensity to want to approach you.
• 1:16:25
  You know, you look big ass, bad ass, intimidating person.
• 1:16:29
  Whatever tattoos, piercings, you know, whatever it's you know,
• 1:16:32
  you have a look. But I guess the point of it all
• 1:16:38
  is, is like I've had to learn and I'm still learning very,
• 1:16:45
  very recently the lessons I'm being taught daily and failing,
• 1:16:50
  you know, I, I am, I am missing the mark And, and missing the
• 1:16:53
  mark is not something that any man, any person wants to admit
• 1:16:57
  to doing. But I'm missing the mark.
• 1:17:01
  And so where do you go from there, right?
• 1:17:08
  What are you going to do? You going to, you're going to
• 1:17:10
  just give up, You're going to accept the feat or are you going
• 1:17:12
  to hold yourself accountable? Other people are holding you
• 1:17:16
  accountable, damn it. Hold yourself accountable.
• 1:17:22
  Do the honourable thing. You know, I don't know if I
• 1:17:31
  don't know if Bradley is coming back on the show yet or not.
• 1:17:36
  Going to give it a couple of more minutes just to see if he
• 1:17:41
  is. But that's a lot of, that's a
• 1:17:45
  lot of what I think our personal experiences with the Gods, with
• 1:17:50
  spirit, with, with our ancestors and, and, and include and
• 1:17:53
  involve is personal accountability, our
• 1:17:58
  accountability to the people around us and our obligations to
• 1:18:02
  our, our tribes, our people, our clans, you know, and whatever
• 1:18:05
  tribe, you know, whatever, whatever the social construct is
• 1:18:09
  of a tribe that you want to put to it, whether it's your
• 1:18:11
  immediate family, your extended family, other folks in the
• 1:18:14
  community, however that social construct develops there, there,
• 1:18:24
  there, there are layers. There are stages of, of all of
• 1:18:28
  that, you know, like you can't, you cannot expect, you cannot
• 1:18:35
  expect your, you can't expect your yard to grow beautifully
• 1:18:44
  outside of your inner fences if you aren't tending to the things
• 1:18:49
  in your inner fences. Or if you look outside and you
• 1:18:51
  see, man, that looks great out there, but meanwhile everything
• 1:18:54
  is rotting and falling apart on the inside.
• 1:18:58
  Got to shift your focus, you know, See, we got Bradley here.
• 1:19:03
  There he is. What's up, man?
• 1:19:06
  Sorry, my phone died. I thought something happened
• 1:19:10
  because you went, we were talking about how, you know,
• 1:19:12
  being intimidating and this and that and you go, Oh, Dang it.
• 1:19:14
  And and then you, you, you dropped off of there and I'm
• 1:19:17
  like, see you guys. It doesn't, you know, not you
• 1:19:20
  know, sizes and everything, but no, what I was what I was just
• 1:19:24
  what I was just saying, right, is like this, this, this, this
• 1:19:30
  perception or this persona that one can give off because of our
• 1:19:34
  stature or whether or not your stature is the thing, but just
• 1:19:37
  your personality, right? If if people can't approach you
• 1:19:40
  or want to, like they they want to say something because they're
• 1:19:43
  seeing something, but you're giving this, you know, you're
• 1:19:45
  giving this attitude to this persona, this whatever off of
• 1:19:49
  like you ain't telling me shit, you know, like and that and you
• 1:19:54
  know, again, I have people that that have really wanted to.
• 1:20:01
  Tell me things. And it's like, well, we just
• 1:20:03
  didn't know how to approach. And I'm like, well, why didn't
• 1:20:05
  you just talk to me? And it's like, but look at how
• 1:20:06
  you act sometimes, you know, and I go, shit, you're right, you
• 1:20:10
  know, and I hate I it's like, it's one of those things, man.
• 1:20:13
  Like when they were right, they're right, but it sucks to
• 1:20:16
  say that, man. Like I hate that when, when
• 1:20:20
  they're so right that it, that it, that it hurts and it's, you
• 1:20:23
  know, it's, it's, it's a blow to your pride.
• 1:20:24
  And you know, you think you're, you think you're doing great in
• 1:20:27
  this one area. I, I gave an analogy a second
• 1:20:29
  ago before you came on where I'm like, you know, if, if the yard
• 1:20:32
  looks so great out beyond your immediate fence and, and it's
• 1:20:36
  because of all the work that you've done out there and you're
• 1:20:39
  so proud of how that grass out there looks because you've been
• 1:20:42
  mowing it and you're trimming it.
• 1:20:43
  And then the meanwhile, the grass growing near your yard and
• 1:20:47
  everything that's growing near your yard is dead.
• 1:20:49
  It's burnt. It's, it's, you know, well,
• 1:20:51
  you're not tending to the thing that's your inner yard.
• 1:20:54
  You're not, you're not tending to the things that are closest
• 1:20:56
  to you and they're suffering because of it.
• 1:20:58
  Whatever is whatever's out there, right?
• 1:21:00
  Like let that figure itself out. Focus first on what's inside and
• 1:21:05
  focus first on what's on your inner yard and then let
• 1:21:09
  everything else grow from from from within outward, right.
• 1:21:13
  Don't it? It should be that way.
• 1:21:15
  Don't don't flip it around. Don't start out there and expect
• 1:21:17
  your inner yard to be thriving when you're putting all your
• 1:21:22
  Yep, chip in in that pot. Absolutely.
• 1:21:26
  So, but I do want to say thank you, Bradley.
• 1:21:28
  I know you you've been having we've been having some issues
• 1:21:30
  tonight. It is getting late for the
• 1:21:32
  recording. We we did cover a lot.
• 1:21:35
  You know, we, we, we talked about a lot of things that I
• 1:21:37
  feel kind of tap that, that, that route of, of connecting
• 1:21:42
  with our gods on a personal level.
• 1:21:44
  We, we shared some UPG experiences.
• 1:21:48
  We even went a bit off the rails, you know, as the random,
• 1:21:51
  even ramblers podcast as we, we, we go off on these little goat
• 1:21:54
  paths and stuff. We talked about things, but
• 1:21:56
  somehow it all ties in. And I think that, you know, one
• 1:22:00
  of the, one of the things to take away from it is that, you
• 1:22:03
  know, our personal experiences, whether it be with the gods,
• 1:22:07
  with our ancestors, like they have to be cultivated from
• 1:22:10
  within. Whatever your hearth cult is,
• 1:22:14
  whatever your inner cultic practices are, don't, don't I,
• 1:22:19
  I, I, I wouldn't want people to feel discouraged about doing
• 1:22:22
  something because they heard about on a podcast that it's not
• 1:22:26
  historical, It's not this, it's not that.
• 1:22:29
  If, if, if you find a way to feel fulfilled in your heathenry
• 1:22:36
  by dedicating Wednesdays to Odin or Thursdays to Thor or Tuesdays
• 1:22:40
  to tear or Fridays to frag or fire, you know, or whatever the
• 1:22:44
  case may be, you know, and that's what you want to do and
• 1:22:47
  that's what makes you feel fulfilled and that's what makes
• 1:22:49
  you feel connected, then short, you know, it may not be
• 1:22:55
  historically heathen. It may not be inherently heathen
• 1:22:57
  way to do it, but if it gives you fulfillment and it gives you
• 1:23:00
  a sense of, of connection that that inspires you to want to do
• 1:23:04
  better and be better for your people, for your inner hearth,
• 1:23:08
  for your inner yard, for your family, for your tribe.
• 1:23:11
  Whatever that social construct is, whatever the dynamic is
• 1:23:15
  like, then I say go for it. And if people have ideas or
• 1:23:21
  thoughts or ways that they feel connected to, to the gods that
• 1:23:24
  that we maybe didn't cover today because we kind of touched upon
• 1:23:27
  a couple of things. But if there's other things that
• 1:23:30
  people want to share, there's, you know, please share in the
• 1:23:34
  comments because, you know, this is like a, an opportunity for us
• 1:23:37
  to learn as well. I, I always find something new
• 1:23:41
  to learn. You know, Bradley, you, you gave
• 1:23:42
  me some things to think about that when I go back and and I
• 1:23:45
  revisit this podcast, especially in post edit.
• 1:23:49
  But when I rewatch it and when I re listen to it, I'm going to be
• 1:23:52
  reminded of some things that have been very near to me that
• 1:23:55
  you didn't know about, but that came up in a way on this show
• 1:23:58
  tonight that gave me a chance to talk about it in this capacity.
• 1:24:02
  So. Weird works and weird ways.
• 1:24:06
  That it do. It'd be that it'd be that way
• 1:24:09
  sometimes, you know, but I'm going to let you go if you want
• 1:24:16
  to just hang on a second. I'll I'll say, you know, I'll
• 1:24:18
  say my my piece to you offline here, but I'm going to wrap
• 1:24:21
  things up here on the show. Is there anything, any parting
• 1:24:23
  words that you'd like to give to the audience before I sign
• 1:24:27
  everyone off? Just be true to yourself,
• 1:24:30
  whatever hardships you guys are going through, just meditate on
• 1:24:33
  it, work through it and find your own way well.
• 1:24:38
  Thank you for that. About it yeah, and thank you for
• 1:24:41
  finding a way to to to see it through to the end of the of the
• 1:24:43
  podcast, despite the technical issues and all that we we made
• 1:24:47
  it through as we have to. So thank you Bradley for coming
• 1:24:51
  back on to this season's what was it the third episode of
• 1:24:55
  season 6. So thank you for returning.
• 1:24:57
  If you guys want to watch or listen to the last episode that
• 1:25:01
  Bradley was on, it'll be linked somewhere.
• 1:25:02
  So if you're watching this on Patreon, it'll be linked down in
• 1:25:05
  the com description. And if you're listening to this,
• 1:25:07
  it'll be annotated in the show notes.
• 1:25:09
  So just head on over there, find out wherever it is and you can
• 1:25:12
  listen to the last thing that him and I talked about on a
• 1:25:14
  podcast. And thank you all for being here
• 1:25:18
  in whatever capacity that you are showing your support in any
• 1:25:20
  way that you can. Don't forget, Patreon is the
• 1:25:23
  best way to show a monetary support for only $1.00 because
• 1:25:27
  you get that through four to five episodes of a month for a
• 1:25:30
  dollar. It's you know, you can renew it
• 1:25:32
  if you want. You don't have to, it's great.
• 1:25:35
  But at the very least, if you're listening to this, just share it
• 1:25:38
  around, you know, share it around in your communities, post
• 1:25:40
  it on your timelines, whatever the case may be, just get the
• 1:25:43
  word out there. It's greatly appreciated and I
• 1:25:47
  greatly appreciate everybody's support.
• 1:25:49
  Thank you, Bradley, once again. And for everybody else, may the
• 1:25:53
  gods continue to notice you all and may your ancestors smile
• 1:25:57
  upon you. And we'll see you in the next
• 1:25:58
  one. The.
• 1:26:59
  The.