Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E313: Foster Care, Trauma & Hope: What Every Child Really Needs | Paula Yost

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E313: Foster Care, Trauma & Hope: What Every Child Really Needs | Paula Yost · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  hello
• 0:48
  everybody
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:48
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:49
  episode
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  Adult
• 0:50
  Child
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  Dysfunction.
• 0:51
  Today
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  have
• 0:52
  with
• 0:52
  us
• 0:52
  Paula
• 0:53
  Yost.
• 0:53
  She's
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  seasoned
• 0:54
  attorney
• 0:55
  and
• 0:55
  mental
• 0:56
  health
• 0:56
  clinician
• 0:56
  who
• 0:57
  brings
• 0:57
  a
• 0:57
  multi
• 0:57
  dimensional
• 0:58
  perspective
• 0:59
  that
• 0:59
  blends
• 1:00
  legal
• 1:00
  precision
• 1:00
  and
• 1:01
  human
• 1:01
  compassion.
• 1:02
  She
• 1:02
  is
• 1:03
  deeply
• 1:03
  committed
• 1:03
  to
• 1:04
  what
• 1:04
  she
• 1:04
  called
• 1:05
  legal
• 1:05
  social
• 1:05
  work,
• 1:06
  advocating
• 1:06
  for
• 1:07
  individuals
• 1:07
  at
• 1:07
  the
• 1:08
  intersection
• 1:08
  of
• 1:08
  law
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  mental
• 1:09
  health.
• 1:10
  Welcome,
• 1:10
  Paula.
• 1:12
  Hi,
• 1:12
  Tammy.
• 1:12
  Thank
• 1:13
  you
• 1:13
  for
• 1:13
  having
• 1:13
  me.
• 1:14
  Oh,
• 1:14
  you're
• 1:14
  very
• 1:14
  welcome.
• 1:15
  This
• 1:15
  is
• 1:15
  actually
• 1:15
  a
• 1:15
  nice,
• 1:16
  I'm
• 1:16
  gonna
• 1:16
  say
• 1:16
  a
• 1:16
  nice
• 1:17
  break
• 1:17
  because
• 1:17
  I,
• 1:18
  we
• 1:18
  have
• 1:18
  been.
• 1:19
  The
• 1:19
  last
• 1:19
  couple
• 1:20
  episodes
• 1:20
  have
• 1:20
  been
• 1:21
  so
• 1:21
  deep
• 1:21
  and
• 1:22
  I'm
• 1:22
  like,
• 1:22
  oh
• 1:22
  my
• 1:22
  gosh,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  want
• 1:23
  something
• 1:24
  light.
• 1:24
  And
• 1:24
  not
• 1:25
  that
• 1:25
  this
• 1:25
  is
• 1:25
  light
• 1:25
  because
• 1:26
  it's
• 1:26
  a
• 1:26
  very
• 1:26
  important
• 1:26
  topic,
• 1:27
  but
• 1:27
  it's
• 1:27
  kind
• 1:27
  of
• 1:28
  something
• 1:28
  different.
• 1:29
  We
• 1:29
  have
• 1:29
  not
• 1:29
  had
• 1:30
  anybody
• 1:30
  on
• 1:30
  here
• 1:31
  really
• 1:31
  talking
• 1:31
  about
• 1:33
  the
• 1:33
  legal
• 1:34
  aspect
• 1:34
  and
• 1:34
  the
• 1:35
  struggles
• 1:35
  of
• 1:36
  that
• 1:36
  legal
• 1:36
  and
• 1:37
  compassionate
• 1:38
  and
• 1:39
  that
• 1:39
  whole
• 1:39
  intersection.
• 1:40
  And
• 1:40
  it's,
• 1:41
  it's
• 1:41
  vitally
• 1:41
  important.
• 1:42
  So
• 1:42
  thank
• 1:43
  you.
• 1:43
  Yes,
• 1:44
  thank
• 1:44
  you.
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  appreciate
• 1:45
  that.
• 1:46
  Yeah,
• 1:46
  so
• 1:47
  we're
• 1:47
  gonna
• 1:47
  jump
• 1:47
  right
• 1:47
  into.
• 1:48
  I'm
• 1:49
  gonna
• 1:49
  ask
• 1:49
  a
• 1:49
  couple
• 1:49
  questions.
• 1:50
  I.
• 1:50
  You
• 1:51
  had
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  couple
• 1:51
  questions
• 1:51
  for
• 1:52
  me
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  ask
• 1:52
  you,
• 1:53
  but
• 1:53
  what
• 1:53
  is
• 1:54
  your
• 1:54
  background
• 1:54
  that
• 1:55
  got
• 1:55
  you
• 1:55
  started
• 1:55
  in
• 1:56
  this
• 1:56
  work?
• 1:57
  Yeah,
• 1:58
  so
• 1:59
  I
• 1:59
  am
• 2:00
  a
• 2:00
  lawyer.
• 2:01
  So
• 2:01
  I
• 2:02
  went
• 2:02
  straight
• 2:03
  from
• 2:03
  college
• 2:03
  to
• 2:04
  law
• 2:04
  school
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  got
• 2:06
  out
• 2:06
  and
• 2:07
  started
• 2:07
  practicing
• 2:08
  law
• 2:08
  and
• 2:09
  realized
• 2:09
  that
• 2:10
  law
• 2:10
  school
• 2:11
  had
• 2:11
  woefully
• 2:12
  under
• 2:12
  prepared
• 2:13
  me
• 2:14
  for
• 2:15
  the
• 2:15
  issues
• 2:16
  that
• 2:16
  many
• 2:16
  of
• 2:16
  my
• 2:17
  clients
• 2:17
  and
• 2:17
  situations
• 2:18
  that
• 2:18
  I
• 2:19
  was
• 2:19
  placed
• 2:19
  in
• 2:19
  were
• 2:20
  facing.
• 2:21
  And
• 2:21
  so
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  went
• 2:22
  back
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  graduate
• 2:23
  school
• 2:24
  and
• 2:24
  got
• 2:25
  my
• 2:25
  master's
• 2:25
  degree
• 2:26
  in
• 2:26
  clinical
• 2:26
  mental
• 2:26
  health.
• 2:27
  And
• 2:28
  so
• 2:28
  I
• 2:28
  am
• 2:28
  a
• 2:29
  licensed
• 2:29
  clinical
• 2:29
  mental
• 2:30
  health
• 2:30
  therapist.
• 2:30
  On
• 2:31
  top
• 2:31
  of
• 2:31
  being
• 2:31
  an
• 2:31
  attorney.
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  will
• 2:33
  also
• 2:34
  add
• 2:34
  too
• 2:34
  that
• 2:35
  I
• 2:36
  grew
• 2:36
  up
• 2:37
  with
• 2:37
  a
• 2:37
  parent
• 2:38
  who
• 2:38
  I
• 2:38
  believe
• 2:39
  loves
• 2:39
  me
• 2:39
  very,
• 2:40
  very
• 2:40
  much
• 2:40
  and
• 2:40
  loves
• 2:41
  me
• 2:41
  as
• 2:41
  much
• 2:41
  as
• 2:41
  she
• 2:42
  can.
• 2:43
  But
• 2:43
  my
• 2:44
  mother's
• 2:44
  family
• 2:44
  of
• 2:45
  origin
• 2:45
  was
• 2:46
  incredibly
• 2:47
  dysfunctional
• 2:49
  and
• 2:49
  I
• 2:49
  believe
• 2:49
  that
• 2:50
  as
• 2:50
  a
• 2:50
  result
• 2:50
  of
• 2:50
  that,
• 2:51
  she
• 2:51
  has
• 2:51
  a
• 2:51
  personality
• 2:52
  disorder.
• 2:53
  And
• 2:54
  so
• 2:54
  I
• 2:54
  am
• 2:54
  much
• 2:55
  better
• 2:55
  at
• 2:55
  recognizing
• 2:57
  mental
• 2:58
  illness
• 2:58
  and
• 2:58
  dysfunction
• 2:59
  than
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  believe
• 3:00
  many
• 3:00
  other
• 3:00
  lawyers
• 3:01
  are
• 3:02
  because
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  have
• 3:03
  that
• 3:03
  background.
• 3:04
  I
• 3:04
  am
• 3:04
  a
• 3:04
  first
• 3:05
  generation
• 3:05
  college
• 3:06
  student.
• 3:07
  And
• 3:07
  so
• 3:08
  my
• 3:08
  experience
• 3:08
  was
• 3:09
  that
• 3:09
  many
• 3:09
  of
• 3:10
  my
• 3:11
  academic
• 3:12
  colleagues
• 3:12
  and
• 3:13
  legal
• 3:13
  colleagues
• 3:13
  just
• 3:14
  could
• 3:14
  not
• 3:14
  relate
• 3:15
  to
• 3:15
  that
• 3:15
  shared
• 3:16
  experience
• 3:16
  because
• 3:16
  they
• 3:17
  did
• 3:17
  not
• 3:17
  live
• 3:17
  it
• 3:18
  themselves.
• 3:19
  Yeah.
• 3:19
  And
• 3:19
  it
• 3:19
  makes
• 3:19
  a
• 3:20
  huge
• 3:20
  difference
• 3:20
  because
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  just
• 3:22
  had
• 3:23
  somebody
• 3:23
  else
• 3:23
  on
• 3:23
  here
• 3:24
  that
• 3:24
  was
• 3:24
  talking
• 3:25
  about
• 3:26
  my
• 3:26
  last
• 3:26
  interview
• 3:27
  with
• 3:27
  was
• 3:27
  he
• 3:28
  dealt
• 3:28
  with
• 3:28
  a
• 3:28
  lot
• 3:28
  of
• 3:28
  sex
• 3:28
  offenders
• 3:29
  and
• 3:29
  he
• 3:30
  was
• 3:30
  on
• 3:30
  kind
• 3:30
  of
• 3:31
  both
• 3:31
  sides
• 3:31
  of
• 3:31
  that
• 3:32
  as
• 3:32
  advocating
• 3:33
  for
• 3:33
  the
• 3:33
  victim,
• 3:34
  advocating
• 3:34
  for,
• 3:34
  you
• 3:35
  know,
• 3:35
  trying
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  help
• 3:36
  the
• 3:36
  process,
• 3:36
  trying
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  get
• 3:37
  these
• 3:37
  people
• 3:37
  who
• 3:38
  he
• 3:38
  said
• 3:38
  were,
• 3:39
  you
• 3:39
  know,
• 3:39
  not
• 3:39
  wanting
• 3:40
  to
• 3:41
  be
• 3:41
  healed
• 3:42
  or
• 3:42
  take
• 3:42
  responsibility.
• 3:44
  And.
• 3:44
  But
• 3:45
  this
• 3:45
  threw
• 3:46
  him
• 3:46
  into
• 3:46
  the
• 3:46
  trauma,
• 3:47
  informed
• 3:47
  work.
• 3:48
  Right.
• 3:49
  Because
• 3:50
  of
• 3:50
  the
• 3:50
  patterns
• 3:50
  you
• 3:51
  see.
• 3:51
  And
• 3:51
  it's.
• 3:52
  I
• 3:52
  mean,
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  don't
• 3:53
  know
• 3:53
  where
• 3:53
  you
• 3:54
  come
• 3:54
  from.
• 3:54
  Like,
• 3:55
  I
• 3:55
  don't
• 3:55
  know
• 3:55
  your
• 3:55
  whole
• 3:56
  background,
• 3:56
  but
• 3:57
  I
• 3:57
  don't
• 3:57
  know
• 3:57
  your
• 3:57
  thoughts
• 3:58
  on
• 3:58
  this.
• 3:58
  But
• 3:58
  I'm
• 3:58
  assuming
• 3:59
  they're
• 3:59
  probably
• 3:59
  very
• 4:00
  similar
• 4:00
  to
• 4:00
  mine
• 4:01
  in
• 4:01
  that
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  can
• 4:03
  see
• 4:03
  a
• 4:03
  lot
• 4:03
  more
• 4:04
  of
• 4:04
  the
• 4:04
  side
• 4:04
  of
• 4:05
  the.
• 4:05
  The
• 4:05
  compassion
• 4:06
  and
• 4:06
  the
• 4:06
  empathy
• 4:07
  because
• 4:07
  you've
• 4:07
  been
• 4:08
  there.
• 4:08
  Like,
• 4:08
  you
• 4:09
  know
• 4:09
  why
• 4:10
  some
• 4:10
  of
• 4:10
  these
• 4:10
  people
• 4:10
  do
• 4:11
  what
• 4:11
  they
• 4:11
  do.
• 4:12
  Absolutely.
• 4:13
  Absolutely,
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  know
• 4:14
  why
• 4:14
  they
• 4:14
  do
• 4:15
  what
• 4:15
  they
• 4:15
  do.
• 4:16
  And,
• 4:16
  you
• 4:17
  know,
• 4:17
  not
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  we
• 4:17
  want
• 4:18
  to
• 4:18
  in
• 4:18
  any
• 4:19
  way.
• 4:19
  Excuse
• 4:20
  me.
• 4:21
  Or
• 4:21
  minimize
• 4:21
  bad
• 4:22
  behavior,
• 4:23
  but
• 4:23
  so
• 4:24
  many
• 4:24
  of
• 4:24
  the
• 4:24
  things
• 4:25
  that
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  see
• 4:26
  are
• 4:27
  fixable
• 4:29
  or
• 4:29
  could
• 4:29
  have
• 4:29
  been
• 4:29
  fixable.
• 4:30
  So
• 4:30
  if
• 4:31
  I'm
• 4:31
  going
• 4:31
  to
• 4:31
  just
• 4:31
  give
• 4:31
  you
• 4:32
  an
• 4:32
  example
• 4:32
  of
• 4:32
  this,
• 4:33
  the
• 4:34
  horrible.
• 4:34
  You
• 4:35
  know,
• 4:35
  I'm
• 4:35
  from
• 4:35
  right
• 4:35
  outside
• 4:36
  of
• 4:36
  Charlotte,
• 4:36
  North
• 4:37
  Carolina.
• 4:37
  So
• 4:38
  the
• 4:38
  horrible
• 4:39
  case
• 4:39
  that's
• 4:39
  been
• 4:40
  all
• 4:40
  over
• 4:40
  the
• 4:40
  news
• 4:40
  and
• 4:41
  it's
• 4:41
  been
• 4:41
  very
• 4:41
  high
• 4:42
  profile
• 4:42
  in
• 4:42
  the
• 4:43
  last
• 4:43
  few
• 4:43
  months
• 4:43
  of
• 4:44
  Irina
• 4:44
  Zaruska,
• 4:45
  who
• 4:46
  was
• 4:46
  this
• 4:46
  poor
• 4:46
  Ukrainian
• 4:47
  girl
• 4:47
  who
• 4:47
  was
• 4:47
  murdered
• 4:48
  on
• 4:48
  one
• 4:48
  of
• 4:48
  our
• 4:49
  buses,
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  know,
• 4:50
  what
• 4:50
  no
• 4:51
  one's
• 4:51
  talking
• 4:51
  about
• 4:51
  in
• 4:52
  this
• 4:52
  case
• 4:52
  is
• 4:53
  that
• 4:53
  her
• 4:54
  murderer
• 4:56
  is
• 4:56
  schizophrenic.
• 4:57
  He's
• 4:58
  been
• 4:58
  schizophrenic
• 4:59
  since
• 4:59
  he
• 4:59
  was
• 4:59
  young.
• 5:01
  His
• 5:01
  family
• 5:02
  was
• 5:02
  unable
• 5:02
  to
• 5:03
  pursue
• 5:03
  guardianship
• 5:04
  over
• 5:04
  him
• 5:05
  due
• 5:05
  to
• 5:05
  financial
• 5:06
  reasons.
• 5:07
  He
• 5:07
  had
• 5:08
  actually
• 5:08
  called
• 5:08
  91143
• 5:10
  times
• 5:10
  in
• 5:11
  one
• 5:11
  day
• 5:12
  several
• 5:12
  months
• 5:13
  before
• 5:13
  he
• 5:13
  murdered
• 5:14
  her.
• 5:14
  And
• 5:14
  when
• 5:15
  he
• 5:15
  called
• 5:15
  them,
• 5:15
  he
• 5:15
  kept
• 5:16
  saying,
• 5:16
  there
• 5:17
  is
• 5:17
  a
• 5:17
  device
• 5:17
  in
• 5:18
  my
• 5:18
  body
• 5:18
  that
• 5:18
  is
• 5:19
  making
• 5:19
  me
• 5:19
  do
• 5:19
  things
• 5:20
  and
• 5:20
  I
• 5:20
  need
• 5:20
  someone
• 5:20
  to
• 5:21
  come
• 5:21
  and
• 5:21
  get
• 5:22
  out.
• 5:23
  And
• 5:23
  instead
• 5:23
  of
• 5:24
  sending
• 5:24
  EMS
• 5:25
  out
• 5:25
  there
• 5:25
  to
• 5:25
  take
• 5:26
  him
• 5:26
  to
• 5:26
  a
• 5:26
  mental
• 5:27
  health
• 5:27
  hospital
• 5:27
  and
• 5:28
  have
• 5:28
  him
• 5:28
  evaluated
• 5:29
  and
• 5:30
  treated
• 5:30
  with
• 5:30
  the
• 5:30
  Invas
• 5:31
  shot
• 5:31
  and
• 5:31
  given
• 5:32
  medication,
• 5:33
  they
• 5:33
  charged
• 5:34
  him
• 5:34
  with
• 5:34
  abuse
• 5:34
  of
• 5:35
  a
• 5:35
  911
• 5:35
  call.
• 5:37
  And
• 5:38
  I'm
• 5:38
  like,
• 5:39
  this
• 5:39
  man
• 5:39
  was
• 5:40
  like
• 5:40
  Haley's
• 5:41
  comment,
• 5:41
  like,
• 5:41
  if
• 5:42
  you
• 5:42
  know
• 5:42
  anything
• 5:43
  about
• 5:43
  mental
• 5:43
  health,
• 5:44
  you
• 5:44
  could
• 5:44
  see
• 5:45
  that
• 5:45
  this
• 5:46
  guy
• 5:46
  was
• 5:46
  going
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  wind
• 5:47
  up
• 5:47
  hurting
• 5:47
  someone
• 5:48
  because
• 5:48
  he
• 5:48
  was
• 5:48
  obviously
• 5:49
  having
• 5:49
  schizophrenic
• 5:50
  related
• 5:50
  command
• 5:51
  prompts.
• 5:51
  And.
• 5:52
  And
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  invega
• 5:53
  shot
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  most
• 5:53
  people
• 5:53
  is
• 5:54
  93%
• 5:55
  effective.
• 5:56
  So
• 5:57
  this
• 5:57
  was
• 5:57
  something
• 5:57
  that
• 5:58
  could
• 5:58
  have
• 5:58
  been
• 5:58
  avoided,
• 6:00
  but
• 6:01
  absolutely
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  system
• 6:03
  failed.
• 6:03
  It
• 6:03
  failed
• 6:04
  everyone.
• 6:04
  It
• 6:04
  failed
• 6:05
  the
• 6:05
  victim,
• 6:05
  it
• 6:05
  failed
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  abuser.
• 6:07
  It
• 6:07
  failed
• 6:07
  everybody.
• 6:08
  And
• 6:08
  most
• 6:09
  prosecutors
• 6:10
  that
• 6:10
  I
• 6:10
  know,
• 6:11
  if
• 6:11
  you
• 6:11
  have
• 6:12
  a
• 6:12
  legitimate
• 6:12
  diagnosable
• 6:13
  bonafide
• 6:14
  mental
• 6:15
  health
• 6:15
  problem,
• 6:16
  they
• 6:16
  don't
• 6:16
  want
• 6:16
  to
• 6:16
  throw
• 6:17
  you
• 6:17
  in
• 6:17
  jail.
• 6:17
  You
• 6:18
  don't
• 6:18
  belong
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  jail
• 6:20
  as
• 6:20
  long
• 6:20
  as
• 6:20
  you
• 6:20
  haven't
• 6:21
  committed
• 6:21
  a
• 6:21
  violent
• 6:22
  crime,
• 6:22
  which
• 6:22
  unfortunately
• 6:23
  now
• 6:23
  this
• 6:23
  man
• 6:24
  has.
• 6:25
  But
• 6:25
  most
• 6:25
  of
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  time,
• 6:26
  violent
• 6:26
  criminals
• 6:27
  who
• 6:27
  are
• 6:27
  schizophrenic
• 6:28
  do
• 6:28
  they
• 6:28
  get
• 6:29
  arrested
• 6:29
  for
• 6:29
  dumb
• 6:29
  stuff
• 6:30
  on
• 6:30
  the
• 6:30
  front
• 6:30
  end?
• 6:31
  Like
• 6:31
  they
• 6:31
  spit
• 6:32
  in
• 6:32
  somebody's
• 6:32
  face
• 6:33
  because
• 6:34
  they're
• 6:34
  hanging
• 6:34
  out
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  the
• 6:35
  emergency
• 6:35
  room
• 6:35
  and
• 6:36
  they
• 6:36
  won't
• 6:36
  leave
• 6:36
  when
• 6:37
  the
• 6:37
  nurses
• 6:37
  tell
• 6:37
  them
• 6:37
  to
• 6:38
  leave,
• 6:38
  so
• 6:38
  they
• 6:39
  spit
• 6:39
  on
• 6:39
  someone
• 6:39
  and
• 6:40
  get
• 6:40
  charged
• 6:40
  with
• 6:40
  assault.
• 6:41
  You
• 6:41
  know,
• 6:42
  district
• 6:42
  attorneys
• 6:43
  don't
• 6:43
  want
• 6:43
  those
• 6:43
  people
• 6:44
  in
• 6:44
  the
• 6:44
  jail.
• 6:44
  They
• 6:44
  want
• 6:45
  them
• 6:45
  out.
• 6:45
  And
• 6:45
  they'll
• 6:45
  work
• 6:46
  a
• 6:46
  deal
• 6:46
  with
• 6:46
  you
• 6:46
  if
• 6:47
  you'll
• 6:47
  work
• 6:48
  and
• 6:48
  come
• 6:48
  up
• 6:48
  with
• 6:48
  a
• 6:49
  plan.
• 6:50
  But
• 6:50
  we
• 6:50
  don't
• 6:50
  do
• 6:50
  that.
• 6:51
  Right.
• 6:52
  And.
• 6:52
  And
• 6:53
  in
• 6:53
  the
• 6:53
  case,
• 6:53
  the
• 6:54
  going
• 6:54
  back
• 6:54
  to
• 6:54
  the
• 6:54
  one.
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  mean,
• 6:55
  that
• 6:55
  is
• 6:56
  negligence
• 6:56
  on
• 6:58
  so
• 6:58
  many
• 6:58
  different
• 6:59
  levels.
• 6:59
  Yes,
• 7:00
  it's.
• 7:00
  It's
• 7:01
  the
• 7:01
  same
• 7:01
  thing.
• 7:01
  You
• 7:01
  have
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  suicide
• 7:02
  hotline.
• 7:03
  If
• 7:03
  someone
• 7:03
  calls
• 7:04
  a
• 7:04
  suicide
• 7:04
  hotline,
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  don't
• 7:05
  tell
• 7:06
  them.
• 7:06
  Get
• 7:06
  over
• 7:06
  it.
• 7:09
  That's
• 7:10
  not
• 7:10
  what
• 7:10
  we
• 7:10
  do.
• 7:11
  That
• 7:11
  doesn't
• 7:11
  work.
• 7:12
  Right,
• 7:13
  right.
• 7:14
  So
• 7:14
  you
• 7:15
  get
• 7:15
  involved.
• 7:15
  So
• 7:16
  are
• 7:16
  you
• 7:16
  a.
• 7:17
  What
• 7:17
  kind
• 7:17
  of
• 7:17
  lawyer
• 7:18
  are
• 7:18
  you?
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  mean,
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  know
• 7:19
  there's
• 7:19
  different
• 7:20
  branches.
• 7:20
  And
• 7:21
  stuff,
• 7:22
  so
• 7:22
  for
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  most
• 7:23
  part,
• 7:23
  I'm
• 7:24
  an
• 7:24
  estates
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  probate
• 7:25
  attorney.
• 7:25
  So
• 7:25
  we
• 7:26
  write
• 7:26
  wills
• 7:27
  and
• 7:27
  we
• 7:27
  help
• 7:27
  with
• 7:27
  dead
• 7:28
  people's
• 7:28
  things.
• 7:28
  But
• 7:29
  on
• 7:29
  that
• 7:30
  same
• 7:30
  realm,
• 7:31
  I
• 7:31
  involuntarily
• 7:32
  commit
• 7:33
  mentally
• 7:33
  ill
• 7:33
  individuals
• 7:35
  in
• 7:35
  counties
• 7:35
  geographically
• 7:36
  close
• 7:36
  to
• 7:37
  me.
• 7:37
  And
• 7:37
  I
• 7:37
  also
• 7:37
  do
• 7:38
  incompetency
• 7:39
  hearings.
• 7:40
  So
• 7:40
  competency
• 7:41
  hearings
• 7:41
  can
• 7:41
  be,
• 7:43
  you
• 7:43
  know,
• 7:43
  anything
• 7:44
  from
• 7:44
  non
• 7:44
  verbal
• 7:45
  autistic
• 7:45
  adults
• 7:46
  or
• 7:46
  down
• 7:47
  syndrome
• 7:47
  adults,
• 7:48
  not
• 7:48
  always
• 7:48
  with
• 7:49
  down
• 7:49
  syndrome,
• 7:49
  but
• 7:49
  sometimes
• 7:50
  people
• 7:50
  who
• 7:51
  would
• 7:51
  be
• 7:51
  victims
• 7:51
  of
• 7:51
  exploitation
• 7:53
  if
• 7:53
  they
• 7:53
  weren't
• 7:54
  declared
• 7:54
  incompetent.
• 7:55
  So
• 7:55
  mom
• 7:55
  and
• 7:56
  dad
• 7:56
  or
• 7:56
  grandma
• 7:57
  or
• 7:57
  whoever
• 7:58
  can
• 7:59
  continue
• 7:59
  making
• 7:59
  medical
• 8:00
  and
• 8:00
  financial
• 8:01
  decisions
• 8:01
  from
• 8:01
  them
• 8:02
  into
• 8:02
  adulthood.
• 8:03
  It
• 8:03
  can
• 8:03
  also
• 8:04
  be
• 8:04
  elderly
• 8:05
  adults
• 8:05
  with
• 8:06
  dementia
• 8:06
  or
• 8:07
  people
• 8:07
  who
• 8:07
  have
• 8:07
  had
• 8:07
  a
• 8:07
  stroke,
• 8:08
  folks
• 8:09
  who
• 8:09
  don't
• 8:09
  know
• 8:09
  they're
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  the
• 8:10
  world
• 8:10
  some
• 8:10
  of
• 8:11
  the
• 8:11
  time.
• 8:12
  And
• 8:12
  then
• 8:12
  lastly,
• 8:13
  we
• 8:13
  do
• 8:13
  have
• 8:13
  our
• 8:13
  profoundly
• 8:14
  mentally
• 8:15
  ill
• 8:15
  population,
• 8:16
  folks
• 8:17
  who
• 8:17
  are,
• 8:17
  you
• 8:17
  know,
• 8:17
  usually
• 8:18
  what
• 8:18
  I
• 8:18
  tell
• 8:18
  people
• 8:19
  is,
• 8:19
  you
• 8:20
  know,
• 8:20
  you
• 8:20
  need
• 8:20
  to
• 8:20
  get
• 8:20
  competency
• 8:21
  over
• 8:22
  someone
• 8:22
  when
• 8:22
  they've
• 8:23
  had
• 8:23
  to
• 8:23
  be
• 8:23
  IVC'd
• 8:24
  more
• 8:24
  than
• 8:24
  three
• 8:24
  times
• 8:25
  in
• 8:25
  a
• 8:25
  calendar
• 8:25
  year.
• 8:26
  You
• 8:26
  know,
• 8:27
  explain.
• 8:28
  IVC'd
• 8:29
  for
• 8:29
  the
• 8:29
  listeners.
• 8:30
  Yeah,
• 8:30
  involuntarily
• 8:31
  committed.
• 8:32
  So
• 8:33
  I've
• 8:33
  had
• 8:33
  clients
• 8:34
  that
• 8:34
  have
• 8:34
  done
• 8:34
  everything
• 8:35
  from
• 8:38
  wreck
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  car
• 8:39
  and
• 8:39
  flush
• 8:39
  the
• 8:39
  car
• 8:40
  keys
• 8:40
  down
• 8:40
  the
• 8:40
  toilet
• 8:41
  and
• 8:41
  tell
• 8:41
  law
• 8:42
  enforcement
• 8:42
  they
• 8:43
  had
• 8:43
  just
• 8:43
  killed
• 8:43
  Justin
• 8:44
  Bieber.
• 8:45
  Obviously,
• 8:45
  that's
• 8:46
  not
• 8:46
  true.
• 8:46
  They
• 8:46
  were
• 8:46
  probably
• 8:47
  listening.
• 8:48
  I've
• 8:48
  had
• 8:48
  a
• 8:48
  client
• 8:49
  take
• 8:49
  his
• 8:49
  shoes
• 8:50
  off
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  put
• 8:50
  them
• 8:51
  on
• 8:51
  top
• 8:51
  of
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  hot
• 8:51
  dog
• 8:52
  roller
• 8:52
  in
• 8:52
  a
• 8:52
  gas
• 8:53
  station
• 8:53
  because
• 8:54
  he
• 8:54
  was
• 8:54
  cold
• 8:55
  and
• 8:55
  almost
• 8:55
  burned
• 8:55
  the
• 8:56
  gas
• 8:56
  station
• 8:56
  down.
• 8:58
  Lots
• 8:59
  and
• 8:59
  lots
• 8:59
  of
• 8:59
  indecent
• 9:00
  exposure
• 9:00
  in
• 9:01
  this
• 9:01
  population,
• 9:03
  but
• 9:03
  many
• 9:03
  times
• 9:04
  they
• 9:04
  just
• 9:04
  don't
• 9:04
  understand
• 9:05
  what
• 9:05
  they're
• 9:05
  doing
• 9:06
  or
• 9:06
  even
• 9:06
  where
• 9:06
  they
• 9:07
  are
• 9:07
  some
• 9:07
  of
• 9:07
  the
• 9:07
  time.
• 9:09
  Lots
• 9:09
  of
• 9:10
  self
• 9:10
  medication
• 9:10
  with
• 9:11
  poly
• 9:11
  substance
• 9:12
  use,
• 9:12
  things
• 9:12
  like
• 9:13
  that.
• 9:13
  Yeah,
• 9:14
  absolutely.
• 9:14
  So
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  conglomerate
• 9:16
  of
• 9:16
  different
• 9:16
  things,
• 9:16
  but
• 9:16
  at
• 9:17
  the
• 9:17
  end
• 9:17
  of
• 9:17
  the
• 9:17
  day,
• 9:20
  most
• 9:20
  of
• 9:20
  the
• 9:20
  time,
• 9:20
  things
• 9:21
  that,
• 9:21
  like
• 9:21
  you
• 9:21
  said,
• 9:22
  they
• 9:22
  don't
• 9:22
  even
• 9:22
  know
• 9:22
  they're
• 9:23
  doing
• 9:23
  it.
• 9:23
  So
• 9:24
  it
• 9:24
  doesn't.
• 9:25
  Punishment
• 9:25
  is
• 9:26
  not
• 9:26
  the
• 9:26
  way
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  go.
• 9:27
  It's
• 9:28
  correct.
• 9:28
  Correct.
• 9:29
  You
• 9:29
  know,
• 9:29
  and
• 9:30
  again,
• 9:30
  you
• 9:31
  know,
• 9:31
  for
• 9:31
  the
• 9:31
  listeners
• 9:31
  out
• 9:32
  there,
• 9:32
  it
• 9:32
  also
• 9:32
  is
• 9:33
  not,
• 9:33
  like
• 9:33
  you
• 9:34
  said,
• 9:34
  behavior,
• 9:35
  you
• 9:35
  know,
• 9:35
  just,
• 9:35
  okay,
• 9:36
  well,
• 9:36
  this
• 9:36
  is
• 9:36
  your
• 9:37
  issue,
• 9:37
  so
• 9:38
  we're
• 9:38
  gonna
• 9:38
  forgive
• 9:39
  you.
• 9:39
  We're
• 9:39
  gonna
• 9:39
  forget,
• 9:40
  we're
• 9:40
  gonna
• 9:40
  let
• 9:40
  it
• 9:40
  go.
• 9:40
  There's
• 9:41
  no
• 9:41
  accountability.
• 9:42
  Like,
• 9:42
  that's.
• 9:43
  So
• 9:43
  that's
• 9:43
  kind
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  where
• 9:44
  you
• 9:44
  kind
• 9:45
  of
• 9:45
  balance
• 9:46
  that
• 9:46
  act.
• 9:47
  Yeah,
• 9:48
  you
• 9:48
  need
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  have
• 9:49
  medication.
• 9:50
  You
• 9:50
  need
• 9:51
  to
• 9:51
  have
• 9:51
  a
• 9:51
  guardian
• 9:52
  in
• 9:52
  place
• 9:52
  to
• 9:52
  make
• 9:53
  sure
• 9:53
  you're
• 9:53
  taking
• 9:53
  the
• 9:54
  medication.
• 9:55
  You
• 9:56
  know,
• 9:56
  especially
• 9:56
  with
• 9:56
  our
• 9:56
  schizophrenic
• 9:57
  population,
• 9:58
  my
• 9:58
  state
• 9:59
  has
• 9:59
  something
• 9:59
  called
• 9:59
  the
• 10:00
  ACT
• 10:00
  Team
• 10:00
  actt.
• 10:02
  And
• 10:02
  they
• 10:03
  will
• 10:03
  come
• 10:03
  out
• 10:03
  to
• 10:04
  a
• 10:04
  schizophrenic
• 10:04
  residence
• 10:05
  every
• 10:05
  90
• 10:06
  days
• 10:06
  and
• 10:06
  make
• 10:06
  sure
• 10:06
  they're
• 10:07
  getting
• 10:07
  their
• 10:07
  Invada
• 10:07
  shot.
• 10:09
  Because,
• 10:09
  I
• 10:09
  mean,
• 10:10
  I've
• 10:10
  seen
• 10:10
  schizophrenics
• 10:11
  who
• 10:11
  have
• 10:11
  been
• 10:11
  in
• 10:11
  jail
• 10:13
  screaming
• 10:15
  crazy
• 10:15
  religious
• 10:16
  things
• 10:16
  in
• 10:16
  the
• 10:16
  middle
• 10:16
  of
• 10:17
  the
• 10:17
  night
• 10:17
  so
• 10:17
  none
• 10:17
  of
• 10:17
  the
• 10:18
  other
• 10:18
  prisoners
• 10:18
  can
• 10:19
  sleep,
• 10:19
  and
• 10:19
  painting
• 10:20
  the
• 10:20
  wall
• 10:20
  with
• 10:20
  their
• 10:20
  own
• 10:21
  feces,
• 10:22
  who
• 10:22
  are
• 10:22
  now
• 10:22
  perfectly
• 10:23
  mentally
• 10:23
  stable
• 10:24
  and
• 10:24
  able
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  hold
• 10:24
  down
• 10:25
  a
• 10:25
  job
• 10:26
  because
• 10:26
  they're
• 10:27
  medicated.
• 10:28
  And
• 10:28
  so
• 10:28
  we
• 10:29
  don't
• 10:29
  talk
• 10:29
  enough
• 10:30
  about
• 10:30
  the
• 10:30
  solution.
• 10:31
  We
• 10:31
  talk
• 10:31
  a
• 10:31
  lot
• 10:31
  about
• 10:31
  our
• 10:32
  problems,
• 10:32
  but
• 10:32
  we
• 10:32
  don't
• 10:33
  talk
• 10:33
  about
• 10:33
  our
• 10:33
  solution.
• 10:34
  Exactly,
• 10:35
  exactly.
• 10:36
  And
• 10:37
  you
• 10:37
  had
• 10:38
  mentioned
• 10:38
  a
• 10:38
  couple
• 10:39
  other
• 10:39
  things,
• 10:39
  and
• 10:39
  this
• 10:39
  probably
• 10:40
  goes
• 10:40
  back
• 10:40
  to.
• 10:40
  Okay,
• 10:41
  I
• 10:41
  see
• 10:41
  your
• 10:41
  adopted
• 10:42
  daughter
• 10:42
  was
• 10:42
  in
• 10:43
  foster
• 10:43
  care.
• 10:44
  So
• 10:44
  you
• 10:45
  talk
• 10:45
  about.
• 10:45
  That's
• 10:45
  one
• 10:46
  of
• 10:46
  the
• 10:46
  things
• 10:46
  I
• 10:46
  did
• 10:46
  want
• 10:46
  to
• 10:47
  get
• 10:47
  into
• 10:47
  because
• 10:47
  we
• 10:48
  have
• 10:48
  a
• 10:48
  lot
• 10:48
  of
• 10:48
  adopted.
• 10:49
  I
• 10:49
  have
• 10:49
  a
• 10:49
  lot
• 10:49
  of
• 10:49
  podcasts
• 10:50
  on
• 10:50
  here
• 10:50
  about
• 10:51
  adoptive
• 10:51
  trauma
• 10:52
  and
• 10:52
  foster
• 10:52
  care
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  different
• 10:53
  things.
• 10:54
  What
• 10:55
  is
• 10:55
  your.
• 10:56
  I
• 10:57
  mean,
• 10:57
  this
• 10:57
  is
• 10:57
  kind
• 10:57
  of
• 10:57
  changing
• 10:58
  subject
• 10:58
  a
• 10:58
  little
• 10:59
  bit,
• 10:59
  but
• 10:59
  I
• 10:59
  want
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  really.
• 11:00
  You
• 11:00
  had
• 11:00
  so
• 11:00
  many
• 11:00
  different
• 11:01
  things
• 11:01
  that
• 11:01
  you
• 11:02
  mentioned
• 11:02
  in
• 11:02
  here
• 11:03
  that
• 11:03
  I
• 11:03
  really
• 11:03
  want
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  touch
• 11:03
  on,
• 11:04
  at
• 11:04
  least
• 11:04
  most
• 11:04
  of
• 11:05
  them.
• 11:05
  You
• 11:06
  gave
• 11:06
  me
• 11:06
  a
• 11:06
  lot
• 11:06
  of
• 11:06
  good
• 11:06
  information.
• 11:07
  But
• 11:08
  what.
• 11:08
  What
• 11:09
  is
• 11:10
  talk
• 11:10
  about
• 11:11
  the
• 11:11
  trauma
• 11:12
  care
• 11:12
  that
• 11:12
  you
• 11:12
  believe
• 11:13
  that
• 11:13
  foster
• 11:13
  children
• 11:14
  really
• 11:14
  need?
• 11:16
  Well,
• 11:16
  I
• 11:16
  want
• 11:16
  to
• 11:16
  start
• 11:17
  at
• 11:18
  children
• 11:19
  trauma
• 11:19
  education.
• 11:20
  I'm
• 11:20
  sorry,
• 11:20
  not
• 11:20
  trauma
• 11:21
  care,
• 11:21
  trauma
• 11:21
  education.
• 11:22
  I
• 11:23
  want
• 11:23
  to
• 11:23
  kind
• 11:23
  of
• 11:23
  start
• 11:24
  with
• 11:24
  children
• 11:24
  entering
• 11:25
  the
• 11:25
  foster
• 11:25
  care
• 11:25
  system
• 11:26
  in
• 11:26
  the
• 11:26
  first
• 11:26
  place.
• 11:27
  There
• 11:27
  is
• 11:27
  a
• 11:28
  growing
• 11:28
  movement
• 11:29
  in
• 11:29
  the
• 11:29
  United
• 11:29
  States
• 11:30
  now
• 11:30
  that
• 11:30
  just
• 11:30
  says
• 11:31
  we
• 11:31
  shouldn't
• 11:31
  have
• 11:31
  foster
• 11:32
  care
• 11:32
  because
• 11:33
  foster
• 11:33
  care
• 11:33
  has
• 11:33
  its
• 11:34
  own
• 11:34
  problems.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:35
  we
• 11:35
  shouldn't
• 11:35
  have
• 11:36
  fost
• 11:36
  care
• 11:36
  at
• 11:36
  all.
• 11:37
  Just
• 11:37
  leave
• 11:37
  people
• 11:37
  with
• 11:38
  their
• 11:38
  family
• 11:38
  of
• 11:38
  origin
• 11:39
  because
• 11:39
  removing
• 11:39
  children
• 11:40
  from
• 11:40
  the
• 11:40
  home
• 11:41
  is
• 11:41
  just
• 11:42
  as
• 11:42
  bad.
• 11:43
  I
• 11:43
  want
• 11:43
  to
• 11:43
  tell
• 11:43
  you,
• 11:44
  I.
• 11:45
  I
• 11:45
  can't
• 11:45
  with
• 11:45
  that.
• 11:47
  My
• 11:48
  daughter's
• 11:49
  biological
• 11:50
  family
• 11:51
  was
• 11:51
  simply
• 11:52
  ill
• 11:52
  equipped
• 11:53
  to
• 11:53
  take
• 11:54
  care
• 11:54
  of
• 11:54
  her.
• 11:55
  And
• 11:56
  her
• 11:57
  foster
• 11:57
  care
• 11:57
  journey
• 11:58
  was
• 11:58
  also
• 11:58
  not
• 11:59
  perfect
• 11:59
  by
• 11:59
  any
• 12:00
  stretch
• 12:00
  of
• 12:00
  the
• 12:00
  imagination.
• 12:01
  God
• 12:02
  only
• 12:02
  knows
• 12:02
  it
• 12:02
  was
• 12:03
  not
• 12:03
  perfect,
• 12:04
  but
• 12:05
  it
• 12:05
  was
• 12:05
  better
• 12:05
  than
• 12:06
  where
• 12:06
  she
• 12:06
  would
• 12:06
  have
• 12:06
  been.
• 12:07
  And
• 12:07
  there's
• 12:08
  no
• 12:08
  way
• 12:08
  she
• 12:08
  would
• 12:08
  be
• 12:09
  where
• 12:09
  she
• 12:09
  is
• 12:09
  today.
• 12:10
  Today
• 12:10
  she
• 12:10
  has
• 12:10
  a
• 12:11
  college
• 12:11
  degree
• 12:11
  and
• 12:12
  she
• 12:12
  works
• 12:12
  a
• 12:12
  normal
• 12:13
  job.
• 12:14
  No
• 12:14
  one
• 12:14
  would
• 12:14
  ever
• 12:15
  know
• 12:15
  my
• 12:15
  daughter
• 12:15
  had
• 12:16
  been
• 12:16
  in
• 12:16
  foster
• 12:16
  care
• 12:16
  if
• 12:17
  she
• 12:17
  didn't
• 12:17
  tell
• 12:17
  you.
• 12:18
  No
• 12:18
  one
• 12:19
  would
• 12:19
  ever
• 12:19
  see
• 12:19
  the
• 12:19
  trauma
• 12:20
  if
• 12:20
  she
• 12:20
  didn't
• 12:20
  share
• 12:21
  it
• 12:21
  with
• 12:21
  you.
• 12:22
  But
• 12:25
  we
• 12:25
  just
• 12:25
  have
• 12:25
  to
• 12:26
  start
• 12:26
  off
• 12:27
  with
• 12:27
  the
• 12:27
  understanding
• 12:28
  that
• 12:28
  if
• 12:28
  you
• 12:29
  are
• 12:29
  in
• 12:29
  foster
• 12:29
  care,
• 12:31
  something
• 12:31
  has
• 12:31
  already
• 12:32
  gone
• 12:32
  badly
• 12:33
  awry.
• 12:34
  So
• 12:34
  daughter's
• 12:35
  biological
• 12:36
  father
• 12:36
  was
• 12:36
  in
• 12:37
  prison
• 12:37
  during
• 12:37
  her
• 12:37
  whole
• 12:38
  minority,
• 12:39
  so
• 12:40
  she
• 12:40
  had
• 12:40
  no
• 12:40
  relationship
• 12:41
  with
• 12:41
  him
• 12:41
  at
• 12:41
  all
• 12:41
  because
• 12:42
  he
• 12:42
  was
• 12:42
  in
• 12:42
  prison.
• 12:43
  Her
• 12:43
  biological
• 12:44
  mother
• 12:44
  had
• 12:45
  a
• 12:45
  low
• 12:45
  iq,
• 12:46
  but
• 12:46
  she
• 12:46
  was
• 12:47
  also
• 12:47
  an
• 12:47
  addict.
• 12:49
  So
• 12:49
  my
• 12:49
  daughter
• 12:50
  was
• 12:50
  basically
• 12:50
  raising
• 12:51
  herself.
• 12:51
  She
• 12:52
  was
• 12:52
  badly
• 12:52
  educationally
• 12:53
  neglected,
• 12:54
  medically
• 12:54
  neglected,
• 12:55
  her
• 12:55
  dental
• 12:56
  care
• 12:56
  was
• 12:56
  abysmal,
• 12:58
  she'd
• 12:58
  had
• 12:58
  a
• 12:58
  lot
• 12:58
  of
• 12:59
  problems.
• 13:00
  So
• 13:00
  by
• 13:00
  the
• 13:00
  time
• 13:01
  she
• 13:01
  enters
• 13:01
  foster
• 13:02
  care
• 13:02
  at
• 13:02
  14,
• 13:03
  a
• 13:04
  tremendous
• 13:04
  amount
• 13:04
  of
• 13:05
  damage
• 13:05
  has
• 13:05
  already
• 13:05
  been
• 13:06
  done
• 13:06
  to
• 13:06
  her.
• 13:08
  So
• 13:08
  what
• 13:08
  I
• 13:08
  think
• 13:09
  is
• 13:09
  important
• 13:09
  for
• 13:09
  everyone
• 13:10
  to
• 13:10
  understand.
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  was
• 13:12
  not
• 13:12
  her
• 13:12
  foster
• 13:12
  mother.
• 13:13
  Actually
• 13:13
  I
• 13:14
  was
• 13:14
  her
• 13:14
  court
• 13:15
  appointed
• 13:16
  child
• 13:16
  advocate.
• 13:17
  So
• 13:17
  in
• 13:18
  some
• 13:18
  states
• 13:18
  they're
• 13:18
  called
• 13:18
  casas
• 13:19
  and
• 13:19
  others
• 13:19
  they're
• 13:20
  called
• 13:20
  guardian
• 13:20
  ad
• 13:20
  litems.
• 13:21
  But
• 13:21
  that
• 13:21
  was
• 13:22
  my
• 13:22
  role.
• 13:23
  And
• 13:23
  so
• 13:24
  I
• 13:24
  was
• 13:25
  her
• 13:25
  child
• 13:25
  advocate.
• 13:26
  And
• 13:28
  my
• 13:28
  goodness,
• 13:29
  she
• 13:29
  was
• 13:29
  a
• 13:29
  mess
• 13:30
  when
• 13:30
  we
• 13:30
  first
• 13:30
  got
• 13:31
  her.
• 13:31
  I
• 13:31
  mean
• 13:31
  again,
• 13:32
  she
• 13:32
  was
• 13:32
  a
• 13:32
  runner.
• 13:33
  She
• 13:33
  would
• 13:33
  run
• 13:33
  away
• 13:34
  if
• 13:34
  you
• 13:35
  didn't
• 13:35
  have
• 13:35
  her
• 13:35
  in
• 13:35
  a
• 13:35
  secured
• 13:36
  lockup,
• 13:36
  she
• 13:36
  would
• 13:37
  try
• 13:37
  to
• 13:37
  run
• 13:37
  off,
• 13:38
  she
• 13:38
  would
• 13:39
  spit
• 13:39
  in
• 13:39
  people's
• 13:40
  faces,
• 13:40
  she
• 13:41
  would
• 13:41
  scream,
• 13:42
  she
• 13:42
  would
• 13:42
  yell,
• 13:43
  she
• 13:43
  would
• 13:43
  use
• 13:43
  abusive
• 13:44
  language
• 13:44
  to
• 13:45
  everyone.
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  mean
• 13:46
  it
• 13:46
  was
• 13:47
  not
• 13:48
  lovey
• 13:50
  wonderful
• 13:51
  situation.
• 13:53
  And
• 13:54
  what
• 13:54
  I
• 13:55
  did
• 13:55
  and
• 13:55
  what
• 13:55
  I
• 13:56
  told
• 13:56
  everyone
• 13:56
  to
• 13:57
  do
• 13:57
  is
• 13:57
  we're
• 13:57
  going
• 13:58
  to
• 13:58
  have
• 13:58
  to
• 13:58
  love
• 13:58
  her
• 13:59
  through
• 13:59
  this.
• 14:00
  She,
• 14:00
  we're
• 14:01
  not
• 14:01
  seeing
• 14:01
  who
• 14:02
  she
• 14:02
  really
• 14:02
  is,
• 14:02
  we
• 14:03
  are
• 14:03
  seeing
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  trauma
• 14:04
  defense
• 14:04
  mechanisms
• 14:05
  that
• 14:05
  she
• 14:05
  has
• 14:06
  in
• 14:06
  place.
• 14:07
  And
• 14:07
  all
• 14:08
  she
• 14:08
  needs
• 14:08
  is
• 14:08
  some
• 14:09
  stable
• 14:09
  adults.
• 14:10
  That's
• 14:10
  it.
• 14:10
  She
• 14:11
  just
• 14:11
  needs
• 14:11
  to
• 14:11
  learn
• 14:11
  that
• 14:12
  life
• 14:12
  can
• 14:12
  be
• 14:12
  different
• 14:13
  and
• 14:13
  she
• 14:13
  is
• 14:14
  savable.
• 14:14
  But
• 14:15
  we've
• 14:15
  all
• 14:15
  got
• 14:16
  to
• 14:16
  just
• 14:16
  bear
• 14:16
  with
• 14:17
  her
• 14:17
  that
• 14:17
  because
• 14:18
  she's
• 14:18
  going
• 14:18
  to
• 14:18
  act
• 14:19
  really
• 14:20
  badly.
• 14:21
  And
• 14:21
  where
• 14:21
  I
• 14:22
  see
• 14:22
  people
• 14:22
  making
• 14:23
  mistakes
• 14:23
  in
• 14:23
  the
• 14:23
  foster
• 14:24
  care
• 14:24
  system
• 14:24
  is
• 14:25
  number
• 14:25
  one,
• 14:25
  they
• 14:25
  get
• 14:26
  in
• 14:26
  it
• 14:26
  for
• 14:26
  money.
• 14:27
  That's
• 14:27
  not
• 14:28
  a
• 14:28
  reason
• 14:28
  to
• 14:28
  do
• 14:28
  it?
• 14:29
  No,
• 14:30
  not
• 14:30
  at
• 14:31
  all.
• 14:31
  Number
• 14:32
  two,
• 14:32
  they
• 14:32
  get
• 14:33
  into
• 14:33
  it
• 14:33
  because
• 14:34
  they
• 14:34
  feel
• 14:35
  that
• 14:35
  what
• 14:36
  I
• 14:36
  will
• 14:36
  hear
• 14:36
  is
• 14:37
  God
• 14:37
  has
• 14:37
  called
• 14:38
  me
• 14:38
  to
• 14:38
  this
• 14:38
  work
• 14:39
  and
• 14:39
  it's
• 14:39
  about,
• 14:39
  you
• 14:40
  know,
• 14:40
  protecting
• 14:40
  widows
• 14:41
  and
• 14:41
  orphans.
• 14:42
  I
• 14:42
  am
• 14:43
  not
• 14:44
  at
• 14:44
  all
• 14:45
  going
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  disparage
• 14:46
  anyone's
• 14:46
  faith,
• 14:47
  whatever
• 14:47
  it
• 14:48
  is.
• 14:48
  And
• 14:49
  I
• 14:49
  definitely
• 14:49
  believe
• 14:50
  there
• 14:50
  is
• 14:50
  a
• 14:50
  space
• 14:51
  for
• 14:52
  faith.
• 14:52
  To
• 14:53
  say,
• 14:53
  this
• 14:53
  is
• 14:53
  something
• 14:54
  that
• 14:54
  I
• 14:54
  feel
• 14:54
  is
• 14:55
  a
• 14:55
  calling,
• 14:56
  but
• 14:57
  in
• 14:57
  that
• 14:58
  you
• 14:58
  should
• 14:58
  not
• 14:59
  expect
• 14:59
  this
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  be
• 15:00
  pretty.
• 15:00
  It
• 15:00
  is
• 15:01
  not
• 15:01
  going
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  be.
• 15:02
  It
• 15:03
  might
• 15:03
  be
• 15:03
  a
• 15:03
  little
• 15:04
  easier
• 15:04
  if
• 15:04
  you've
• 15:05
  gotten
• 15:05
  an
• 15:05
  infant
• 15:06
  or
• 15:06
  a
• 15:06
  toddler,
• 15:07
  but
• 15:07
  if
• 15:07
  you've
• 15:08
  got
• 15:08
  a
• 15:08
  child
• 15:08
  that's
• 15:08
  over
• 15:09
  six
• 15:09
  years
• 15:09
  old
• 15:10
  after
• 15:10
  they've
• 15:11
  already
• 15:11
  been
• 15:11
  in
• 15:11
  a
• 15:12
  horrible
• 15:12
  amount
• 15:12
  of
• 15:13
  trauma
• 15:13
  for
• 15:13
  all
• 15:13
  of
• 15:14
  their
• 15:14
  life,
• 15:15
  it
• 15:15
  is
• 15:15
  going
• 15:15
  to
• 15:16
  be
• 15:16
  an
• 15:16
  uphill
• 15:16
  battle
• 15:17
  and
• 15:18
  you
• 15:18
  have
• 15:18
  to
• 15:18
  be
• 15:18
  prepared
• 15:19
  for
• 15:19
  that
• 15:19
  because
• 15:20
  you
• 15:20
  can't
• 15:21
  become
• 15:21
  the
• 15:21
  next
• 15:21
  person
• 15:22
  who
• 15:23
  says,
• 15:23
  this
• 15:23
  kid's
• 15:24
  too
• 15:24
  much,
• 15:24
  I
• 15:24
  can't
• 15:25
  handle
• 15:25
  it,
• 15:26
  and
• 15:26
  writes
• 15:26
  them
• 15:27
  off.
• 15:27
  They're
• 15:27
  not
• 15:27
  a
• 15:28
  puppy,
• 15:29
  you
• 15:29
  know,
• 15:29
  you,
• 15:29
  and
• 15:30
  you,
• 15:30
  you
• 15:31
  shouldn't
• 15:31
  take
• 15:31
  puppies
• 15:32
  back
• 15:32
  either.
• 15:33
  But
• 15:33
  you
• 15:33
  cannot
• 15:34
  do
• 15:34
  that
• 15:35
  to
• 15:35
  a
• 15:35
  foster
• 15:36
  child
• 15:36
  like
• 15:36
  you.
• 15:37
  If
• 15:37
  you're
• 15:37
  going
• 15:37
  to
• 15:38
  do
• 15:38
  this,
• 15:38
  you've
• 15:38
  got
• 15:39
  to
• 15:39
  be
• 15:39
  in
• 15:39
  this.
• 15:41
  I
• 15:41
  will
• 15:41
  also
• 15:42
  add
• 15:42
  to
• 15:42
  probably
• 15:43
  the
• 15:43
  best
• 15:43
  foster
• 15:44
  parent
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  Tanya
• 15:45
  had.
• 15:47
  This
• 15:47
  woman
• 15:48
  was
• 15:48
  wonderful,
• 15:49
  she
• 15:49
  really
• 15:49
  was.
• 15:49
  And
• 15:50
  we
• 15:50
  still
• 15:50
  communicate
• 15:51
  with
• 15:51
  her
• 15:51
  often.
• 15:52
  But
• 15:52
  her
• 15:53
  husband
• 15:53
  actually
• 15:53
  got
• 15:54
  diagnosed
• 15:54
  with
• 15:54
  terminal
• 15:55
  brain
• 15:55
  cancer
• 15:56
  while
• 15:57
  Tanya
• 15:57
  was
• 15:58
  living
• 15:58
  in
• 15:58
  their
• 15:58
  home
• 15:59
  and
• 15:59
  they
• 15:59
  had
• 16:00
  to
• 16:00
  move
• 16:00
  to
• 16:00
  another
• 16:01
  state
• 16:01
  to
• 16:01
  get
• 16:01
  family
• 16:02
  support.
• 16:03
  So
• 16:04
  that
• 16:05
  was
• 16:05
  another
• 16:05
  loss
• 16:06
  for
• 16:06
  her
• 16:06
  because
• 16:07
  she
• 16:07
  was
• 16:07
  actually
• 16:08
  in
• 16:08
  a
• 16:08
  good
• 16:08
  environment.
• 16:09
  And
• 16:09
  then
• 16:09
  her
• 16:10
  foster
• 16:10
  dad
• 16:10
  was
• 16:11
  dying,
• 16:12
  her
• 16:12
  foster
• 16:12
  family
• 16:12
  had
• 16:13
  to
• 16:13
  move,
• 16:14
  she
• 16:14
  couldn't
• 16:14
  move
• 16:14
  with
• 16:15
  them.
• 16:15
  So
• 16:16
  then
• 16:16
  she
• 16:16
  wound
• 16:16
  up
• 16:16
  being
• 16:17
  displaced
• 16:17
  again,.
• 16:19
  Which
• 16:20
  is
• 16:20
  more
• 16:20
  trauma,
• 16:21
  more
• 16:21
  heartache,
• 16:22
  more
• 16:22
  when
• 16:22
  she
• 16:22
  finally
• 16:23
  feels
• 16:23
  and
• 16:24
  finally
• 16:24
  has
• 16:25
  hope,
• 16:25
  like,
• 16:25
  wow,
• 16:26
  I
• 16:26
  can
• 16:26
  have
• 16:26
  a
• 16:26
  normal
• 16:27
  life
• 16:27
  or
• 16:27
  I
• 16:27
  can
• 16:27
  have
• 16:28
  a
• 16:28
  good
• 16:28
  life
• 16:28
  and
• 16:28
  then
• 16:28
  bam,
• 16:29
  gone.
• 16:30
  But
• 16:30
  I
• 16:30
  will
• 16:30
  always
• 16:31
  be
• 16:31
  thankful
• 16:31
  to
• 16:32
  those
• 16:32
  people
• 16:32
  though.
• 16:33
  And
• 16:33
  again,
• 16:33
  we
• 16:34
  do
• 16:34
  speak
• 16:34
  to
• 16:35
  the
• 16:35
  mom
• 16:35
  in
• 16:35
  that
• 16:35
  situation
• 16:36
  often,
• 16:37
  even
• 16:37
  now.
• 16:37
  And
• 16:37
  it's
• 16:38
  been
• 16:38
  like,
• 16:38
  it's
• 16:38
  been
• 16:38
  like
• 16:39
  15
• 16:39
  years.
• 16:40
  But
• 16:41
  she
• 16:41
  was
• 16:42
  the
• 16:42
  person
• 16:42
  who
• 16:42
  helped
• 16:43
  me
• 16:43
  stabilize
• 16:44
  her.
• 16:45
  Because
• 16:45
  essentially
• 16:46
  Tanya
• 16:47
  was
• 16:47
  going
• 16:47
  to
• 16:48
  school
• 16:49
  and
• 16:49
  she
• 16:50
  was
• 16:50
  not
• 16:50
  appropriate
• 16:50
  for
• 16:51
  the
• 16:51
  school
• 16:51
  she
• 16:51
  was
• 16:51
  in
• 16:52
  because
• 16:52
  she
• 16:52
  was
• 16:52
  14,
• 16:53
  but
• 16:53
  she
• 16:53
  was
• 16:53
  in
• 16:53
  the
• 16:54
  seventh
• 16:54
  grade
• 16:54
  and
• 16:54
  she
• 16:55
  really
• 16:55
  needed
• 16:55
  to
• 16:55
  be
• 16:55
  in
• 16:55
  the
• 16:56
  ninth
• 16:56
  grade.
• 16:56
  There's
• 16:57
  a
• 16:57
  big
• 16:57
  social,
• 16:58
  emotional
• 16:58
  difference
• 16:59
  in
• 16:59
  a
• 16:59
  12
• 16:59
  year
• 16:59
  old
• 17:00
  girl
• 17:00
  and
• 17:00
  a
• 17:00
  14
• 17:00
  year
• 17:00
  old
• 17:01
  girl
• 17:01
  with
• 17:01
  immense
• 17:01
  trauma.
• 17:02
  So
• 17:03
  she
• 17:03
  was
• 17:03
  just
• 17:03
  not
• 17:03
  doing
• 17:03
  well
• 17:04
  in
• 17:04
  that
• 17:04
  public
• 17:04
  school
• 17:05
  school
• 17:05
  setting.
• 17:06
  And
• 17:07
  I
• 17:07
  had
• 17:07
  a
• 17:07
  teacher
• 17:08
  that
• 17:08
  I
• 17:08
  had
• 17:08
  a
• 17:08
  lovely
• 17:09
  shout
• 17:09
  match
• 17:10
  with
• 17:10
  because
• 17:11
  the
• 17:11
  teacher
• 17:12
  said,
• 17:12
  you
• 17:13
  just
• 17:13
  need
• 17:13
  to
• 17:13
  prepare
• 17:13
  her
• 17:13
  for
• 17:14
  a
• 17:14
  gd.
• 17:15
  And
• 17:15
  I
• 17:15
  said,
• 17:16
  well,
• 17:16
  we're
• 17:16
  not
• 17:16
  going
• 17:16
  to
• 17:16
  do
• 17:16
  that
• 17:17
  because
• 17:17
  we
• 17:17
  don't
• 17:17
  know
• 17:18
  what
• 17:18
  she
• 17:18
  can
• 17:18
  do.
• 17:19
  We
• 17:19
  have
• 17:19
  no
• 17:19
  idea
• 17:20
  what
• 17:20
  she's
• 17:20
  capable
• 17:21
  of.
• 17:21
  No
• 17:21
  one's
• 17:22
  ever
• 17:22
  given
• 17:22
  her
• 17:22
  an
• 17:22
  opportunity
• 17:23
  to
• 17:23
  try.
• 17:24
  Like,
• 17:24
  I'm
• 17:24
  not
• 17:24
  saying
• 17:25
  she's
• 17:25
  not
• 17:25
  going
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  have
• 17:26
  to
• 17:26
  work
• 17:26
  and
• 17:26
  that
• 17:26
  it
• 17:26
  might
• 17:27
  not
• 17:27
  be
• 17:27
  an
• 17:27
  uphill
• 17:28
  battle,
• 17:28
  but
• 17:29
  no
• 17:29
  one
• 17:29
  has
• 17:29
  given
• 17:30
  her.
• 17:30
  Like,
• 17:30
  no
• 17:31
  one
• 17:31
  in
• 17:31
  her
• 17:31
  family
• 17:31
  has
• 17:32
  graduated
• 17:32
  from
• 17:32
  high
• 17:33
  school.
• 17:34
  She
• 17:34
  has
• 17:34
  no
• 17:35
  diagnosable
• 17:35
  learning
• 17:36
  disability.
• 17:36
  There's
• 17:37
  no
• 17:37
  reason
• 17:37
  why
• 17:38
  she
• 17:38
  can't
• 17:38
  finish
• 17:38
  high
• 17:39
  school.
• 17:39
  We
• 17:40
  just
• 17:40
  have
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  redirect
• 17:41
  her.
• 17:42
  So
• 17:42
  I
• 17:42
  had
• 17:42
  a
• 17:42
  principal
• 17:43
  at
• 17:43
  that
• 17:43
  school
• 17:44
  who
• 17:44
  worked
• 17:44
  with
• 17:44
  her
• 17:44
  foster
• 17:45
  mom
• 17:45
  and
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  to
• 17:46
  actually
• 17:46
  get
• 17:46
  her
• 17:47
  into
• 17:47
  high
• 17:47
  school
• 17:48
  and
• 17:49
  get
• 17:49
  her.
• 17:49
  I
• 17:49
  mean,
• 17:49
  she
• 17:49
  was
• 17:50
  in
• 17:50
  the
• 17:50
  lowest
• 17:50
  level
• 17:51
  of
• 17:51
  all
• 17:51
  the
• 17:51
  classes,
• 17:52
  but
• 17:52
  she
• 17:53
  actually
• 17:53
  did
• 17:53
  do
• 17:53
  her
• 17:54
  work
• 17:54
  and
• 17:54
  graduated
• 17:55
  from
• 17:55
  high
• 17:55
  school
• 17:55
  on
• 17:55
  time.
• 17:56
  And
• 17:57
  so
• 17:59
  you
• 17:59
  can
• 17:59
  work
• 17:59
  miracles,
• 18:00
  but
• 18:00
  you
• 18:00
  really
• 18:01
  do
• 18:01
  have
• 18:01
  to
• 18:01
  have
• 18:01
  a
• 18:01
  village.
• 18:03
  And
• 18:03
  that
• 18:04
  requires
• 18:05
  the.
• 18:05
  Whoever
• 18:06
  the
• 18:06
  foster
• 18:06
  parent
• 18:07
  is
• 18:07
  believing
• 18:08
  in,
• 18:08
  the
• 18:08
  kid,
• 18:08
  the
• 18:09
  social
• 18:09
  worker,
• 18:10
  the
• 18:10
  school
• 18:11
  system,
• 18:12
  and
• 18:12
  you
• 18:13
  really
• 18:13
  do
• 18:13
  have
• 18:14
  to
• 18:14
  kind
• 18:14
  of
• 18:14
  rally
• 18:14
  the
• 18:15
  troops
• 18:15
  and
• 18:15
  wrap
• 18:16
  around
• 18:16
  the
• 18:16
  kid.
• 18:17
  And
• 18:17
  everybody
• 18:18
  has
• 18:18
  to
• 18:18
  say,
• 18:18
  number
• 18:19
  one,
• 18:19
  we
• 18:19
  believe
• 18:19
  in
• 18:20
  you.
• 18:20
  We
• 18:20
  believe
• 18:21
  you
• 18:21
  can
• 18:21
  do
• 18:22
  this.
• 18:22
  And
• 18:23
  if
• 18:23
  you
• 18:23
  can
• 18:23
  do
• 18:23
  this,
• 18:24
  these
• 18:24
  are
• 18:24
  the
• 18:24
  things
• 18:25
  we
• 18:25
  think
• 18:25
  your
• 18:25
  life
• 18:26
  will
• 18:26
  have
• 18:26
  that
• 18:26
  is
• 18:26
  different
• 18:27
  from
• 18:27
  where
• 18:28
  you
• 18:28
  came
• 18:28
  from.
• 18:29
  Yeah,
• 18:29
  you
• 18:29
  got
• 18:30
  to
• 18:30
  give
• 18:30
  them
• 18:30
  hope.
• 18:30
  You
• 18:31
  got
• 18:31
  to
• 18:31
  give
• 18:31
  them.
• 18:32
  You
• 18:32
  have
• 18:33
  to
• 18:33
  give
• 18:33
  children,
• 18:34
  especially
• 18:34
  children
• 18:35
  that
• 18:35
  came
• 18:35
  from
• 18:36
  that
• 18:36
  traumatic
• 18:36
  background
• 18:37
  where,
• 18:37
  yes,
• 18:37
  if
• 18:38
  they
• 18:38
  were.
• 18:38
  If
• 18:39
  at
• 18:39
  the
• 18:39
  best
• 18:40
  case
• 18:40
  scenario,
• 18:40
  they
• 18:41
  were
• 18:41
  talked
• 18:41
  to,
• 18:41
  but
• 18:42
  told
• 18:42
  they
• 18:42
  weren't
• 18:42
  going
• 18:42
  to
• 18:43
  do
• 18:43
  anything
• 18:43
  productive,
• 18:44
  you
• 18:44
  know,
• 18:44
  worst
• 18:45
  case
• 18:45
  scenario,
• 18:45
  they
• 18:45
  weren't
• 18:45
  even
• 18:46
  talked
• 18:46
  to.
• 18:46
  Absolutely.
• 18:48
  And.
• 18:48
  And
• 18:49
  Tammy,
• 18:49
  I
• 18:49
  gotta
• 18:49
  tell
• 18:49
  you,
• 18:50
  there
• 18:50
  were
• 18:50
  moments
• 18:50
  where
• 18:51
  I
• 18:51
  didn't
• 18:51
  know
• 18:51
  if
• 18:51
  she
• 18:52
  could
• 18:52
  do
• 18:52
  it
• 18:52
  or
• 18:52
  not.
• 18:53
  I
• 18:53
  really
• 18:53
  didn't.
• 18:54
  Like,
• 18:55
  I
• 18:55
  didn't
• 18:55
  know
• 18:55
  if
• 18:55
  she
• 18:56
  would
• 18:56
  be
• 18:56
  able
• 18:56
  to
• 18:56
  graduate
• 18:57
  from
• 18:57
  high
• 18:57
  school.
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  had
• 18:58
  no
• 18:58
  idea.
• 18:59
  But
• 18:59
  I
• 18:59
  told
• 19:00
  her
• 19:00
  that
• 19:00
  I
• 19:00
  believed
• 19:01
  she
• 19:01
  could
• 19:01
  do
• 19:01
  it,
• 19:02
  and
• 19:02
  I
• 19:02
  was
• 19:02
  gonna
• 19:02
  tell
• 19:03
  her
• 19:03
  that
• 19:03
  until
• 19:03
  she
• 19:03
  proved
• 19:04
  to
• 19:04
  me
• 19:04
  that
• 19:04
  she
• 19:04
  couldn't.
• 19:05
  Now
• 19:05
  it's
• 19:05
  different
• 19:06
  if,
• 19:06
  like,
• 19:06
  she
• 19:06
  had
• 19:07
  come
• 19:07
  back
• 19:07
  with,
• 19:08
  you
• 19:08
  know,
• 19:08
  if
• 19:08
  her
• 19:08
  IQ
• 19:09
  had
• 19:09
  been
• 19:09
  75,
• 19:10
  and
• 19:10
  it
• 19:10
  just
• 19:11
  really
• 19:11
  looked
• 19:11
  like
• 19:11
  this
• 19:12
  was
• 19:12
  genuinely
• 19:13
  something
• 19:13
  that
• 19:13
  was
• 19:14
  outside
• 19:14
  the
• 19:14
  scope.
• 19:15
  But
• 19:15
  I
• 19:16
  just
• 19:16
  kept
• 19:16
  telling
• 19:16
  her
• 19:16
  I
• 19:17
  believed
• 19:17
  in
• 19:17
  her.
• 19:17
  I
• 19:17
  knew
• 19:18
  she
• 19:18
  could
• 19:18
  do
• 19:18
  it.
• 19:18
  And
• 19:19
  every
• 19:19
  single
• 19:19
  time
• 19:20
  I
• 19:20
  told
• 19:20
  her
• 19:20
  that
• 19:20
  she.
• 19:21
  She
• 19:21
  did
• 19:21
  it.
• 19:22
  Yeah,
• 19:22
  she
• 19:22
  did
• 19:23
  it
• 19:23
  every
• 19:23
  time.
• 19:24
  Guys,
• 19:24
  if
• 19:25
  you're
• 19:25
  listening
• 19:25
  to
• 19:25
  this,
• 19:25
  if
• 19:26
  you're
• 19:26
  out
• 19:26
  there
• 19:26
  listening
• 19:26
  to
• 19:27
  this,
• 19:27
  that.
• 19:27
  That's
• 19:28
  the
• 19:28
  key
• 19:28
  right
• 19:28
  now.
• 19:28
  And
• 19:29
  you
• 19:29
  said,
• 19:29
  it
• 19:29
  takes
• 19:30
  a
• 19:30
  village,
• 19:31
  you
• 19:31
  know,
• 19:31
  and
• 19:31
  it
• 19:32
  does.
• 19:32
  It
• 19:32
  takes
• 19:32
  advocates,
• 19:33
  it
• 19:33
  takes
• 19:33
  people
• 19:33
  working
• 19:34
  with
• 19:34
  her,
• 19:34
  it
• 19:34
  takes
• 19:34
  coaches,
• 19:35
  it
• 19:35
  takes.
• 19:35
  It
• 19:35
  takes
• 19:36
  everything.
• 19:37
  But
• 19:37
  your
• 19:38
  chances
• 19:38
  of
• 19:38
  thriving
• 19:39
  are
• 19:40
  astronomical
• 19:41
  if
• 19:41
  you
• 19:41
  have
• 19:42
  one
• 19:42
  person
• 19:43
  that
• 19:43
  believes
• 19:44
  in
• 19:44
  you.
• 19:45
  So
• 19:45
  I
• 19:45
  tell
• 19:45
  everybody,
• 19:46
  be
• 19:46
  that
• 19:46
  one
• 19:47
  person
• 19:47
  for
• 19:48
  one
• 19:48
  person
• 19:48
  in
• 19:48
  your
• 19:48
  life,
• 19:49
  be
• 19:49
  that
• 19:50
  person.
• 19:51
  Because
• 19:52
  that's
• 19:52
  what
• 19:52
  it
• 19:52
  takes
• 19:53
  sometimes,
• 19:53
  just
• 19:53
  one.
• 19:54
  It's
• 19:55
  a
• 19:55
  wonderful
• 19:56
  documentary
• 19:56
  about
• 19:57
  this
• 19:57
  very
• 19:57
  topic
• 19:58
  called
• 19:58
  Paper
• 19:58
  Tigers.
• 20:00
  It's
• 20:00
  an
• 20:00
  older
• 20:00
  documentary.
• 20:01
  It
• 20:01
  came
• 20:01
  out
• 20:02
  sometime
• 20:02
  in
• 20:02
  the
• 20:02
  2000
• 20:03
  teens.
• 20:04
  But
• 20:04
  paper
• 20:04
  Tigers
• 20:05
  is
• 20:05
  absolutely
• 20:06
  about
• 20:06
  this.
• 20:07
  It
• 20:07
  follows
• 20:08
  some
• 20:08
  foster
• 20:09
  kids
• 20:09
  in
• 20:09
  an
• 20:09
  inner
• 20:10
  city
• 20:10
  school.
• 20:11
  And
• 20:11
  it
• 20:12
  basically
• 20:12
  just
• 20:12
  goes
• 20:13
  into,
• 20:13
  they
• 20:13
  need
• 20:14
  one
• 20:14
  stable
• 20:14
  adult.
• 20:15
  That's
• 20:16
  all
• 20:16
  that
• 20:16
  they
• 20:16
  need.
• 20:17
  And
• 20:17
  you
• 20:18
  know,
• 20:18
  that's
• 20:18
  really
• 20:18
  also
• 20:19
  why
• 20:19
  guardian
• 20:19
  ad
• 20:20
  litems
• 20:20
  and
• 20:20
  casas
• 20:21
  are
• 20:21
  so
• 20:21
  important
• 20:22
  to
• 20:22
  the
• 20:22
  judicial
• 20:23
  system,
• 20:24
  because
• 20:25
  so
• 20:25
  often
• 20:27
  the
• 20:27
  village
• 20:28
  gets
• 20:28
  disrupted.
• 20:28
  And
• 20:29
  what
• 20:29
  I
• 20:29
  mean
• 20:29
  by
• 20:29
  that
• 20:30
  is,
• 20:30
  okay,
• 20:30
  the
• 20:31
  kid
• 20:31
  is
• 20:31
  really
• 20:31
  connected
• 20:32
  to
• 20:32
  a
• 20:32
  teacher.
• 20:33
  Well,
• 20:33
  now
• 20:33
  they're
• 20:33
  going
• 20:33
  to
• 20:34
  the
• 20:34
  next
• 20:34
  grade
• 20:34
  and
• 20:34
  that
• 20:34
  teacher's
• 20:35
  gone.
• 20:35
  The
• 20:36
  kid's
• 20:36
  really
• 20:36
  connected
• 20:37
  to
• 20:37
  a
• 20:37
  foster
• 20:37
  parent.
• 20:38
  Well,
• 20:38
  they
• 20:38
  have
• 20:38
  a
• 20:38
  situation
• 20:39
  like
• 20:39
  I
• 20:39
  described
• 20:40
  earlier,
• 20:40
  where
• 20:40
  foster
• 20:41
  parents,
• 20:42
  family
• 20:42
  has
• 20:42
  their
• 20:42
  own
• 20:42
  medical
• 20:43
  crisis
• 20:43
  and
• 20:43
  they
• 20:43
  can't
• 20:44
  do
• 20:44
  this
• 20:44
  anymore.
• 20:45
  Social
• 20:45
  workers,
• 20:46
  I've
• 20:46
  seen
• 20:46
  kids
• 20:47
  change
• 20:47
  social
• 20:47
  workers
• 20:48
  like
• 20:48
  underwear.
• 20:49
  Like,
• 20:50
  you
• 20:50
  know,
• 20:51
  and
• 20:51
  there
• 20:51
  can
• 20:51
  be
• 20:51
  any
• 20:52
  number
• 20:52
  of
• 20:52
  reasons
• 20:53
  for
• 20:53
  that.
• 20:53
  I
• 20:53
  will
• 20:54
  add
• 20:54
  that
• 20:54
  work
• 20:54
  is
• 20:55
  very,
• 20:55
  very
• 20:55
  difficult.
• 20:57
  I
• 20:57
  think
• 20:57
  a
• 20:57
  lot
• 20:57
  of
• 20:58
  social
• 20:58
  workers
• 20:58
  get
• 20:58
  very
• 20:59
  frustrated
• 20:59
  because
• 21:00
  they
• 21:00
  got
• 21:00
  into
• 21:00
  this
• 21:00
  business
• 21:01
  to
• 21:01
  help,
• 21:02
  and
• 21:02
  sometimes
• 21:02
  the
• 21:03
  system
• 21:03
  doesn't
• 21:03
  let
• 21:03
  them
• 21:04
  help
• 21:04
  the
• 21:04
  way
• 21:04
  they
• 21:04
  think
• 21:04
  it
• 21:05
  should,
• 21:05
  and
• 21:06
  so
• 21:06
  they
• 21:06
  get
• 21:06
  aggravated
• 21:07
  and
• 21:07
  they
• 21:07
  leave.
• 21:09
  And
• 21:09
  so.
• 21:09
  But
• 21:10
  you
• 21:10
  can
• 21:10
  have
• 21:10
  a
• 21:11
  lot
• 21:11
  of
• 21:11
  turnover
• 21:11
  in
• 21:12
  those
• 21:12
  types
• 21:12
  of
• 21:12
  core
• 21:13
  positions
• 21:13
  that
• 21:14
  children
• 21:14
  need.
• 21:14
  But
• 21:15
  when
• 21:15
  you
• 21:15
  sign
• 21:15
  up
• 21:16
  to
• 21:16
  be
• 21:16
  a
• 21:16
  guardian
• 21:16
  ad
• 21:16
  litem
• 21:17
  or
• 21:17
  a
• 21:17
  casa,
• 21:18
  they
• 21:18
  ask
• 21:19
  you,
• 21:19
  those
• 21:20
  programs
• 21:20
  are
• 21:20
  supposed
• 21:21
  to
• 21:21
  ask
• 21:21
  you
• 21:21
  at
• 21:21
  the
• 21:22
  beginning,
• 21:22
  are
• 21:22
  you
• 21:23
  moving?
• 21:23
  Are
• 21:23
  you
• 21:24
  in
• 21:24
  good
• 21:24
  health?
• 21:52
  Because
• 21:53
  we
• 21:53
  want
• 21:53
  you
• 21:53
  to
• 21:53
  stay
• 21:53
  with
• 21:54
  this
• 21:54
  kid
• 21:55
  from
• 21:55
  now
• 21:56
  until
• 21:56
  this
• 21:56
  case
• 21:57
  closes
• 21:58
  from,
• 21:58
  you
• 21:59
  know,
• 21:59
  reunification
• 22:00
  or
• 22:00
  adoption.
• 22:01
  You
• 22:01
  need
• 22:01
  to
• 22:01
  be
• 22:02
  in
• 22:02
  their
• 22:02
  lives
• 22:03
  and
• 22:03
  you
• 22:03
  need
• 22:03
  to
• 22:03
  be
• 22:04
  checking
• 22:04
  on
• 22:04
  them
• 22:05
  and,
• 22:05
  and
• 22:05
  making
• 22:05
  sure
• 22:06
  that
• 22:06
  things
• 22:06
  are
• 22:06
  okay.
• 22:09
  And
• 22:09
  that
• 22:09
  was
• 22:09
  totally
• 22:10
  my
• 22:10
  role
• 22:10
  with
• 22:10
  her.
• 22:11
  Right.
• 22:11
  So
• 22:12
  let
• 22:12
  me
• 22:12
  ask
• 22:12
  you
• 22:12
  in
• 22:12
  this
• 22:13
  program,
• 22:13
  because
• 22:13
  I
• 22:13
  don't
• 22:13
  know
• 22:13
  anything
• 22:14
  about
• 22:14
  this
• 22:14
  program,
• 22:14
  honestly.
• 22:16
  Was
• 22:17
  she.
• 22:17
  She
• 22:17
  wasn't
• 22:17
  living
• 22:18
  with
• 22:18
  you?
• 22:19
  No,
• 22:19
  no,
• 22:19
  no,
• 22:19
  no,
• 22:20
  no,
• 22:20
  no.
• 22:20
  She
• 22:20
  was
• 22:20
  in
• 22:21
  foster
• 22:21
  care.
• 22:21
  So.
• 22:21
  In
• 22:22
  foster
• 22:22
  care,
• 22:23
  yes.
• 22:23
  So
• 22:24
  some
• 22:24
  states
• 22:24
  call
• 22:25
  them
• 22:25
  court
• 22:25
  appointed
• 22:26
  special
• 22:26
  advocates,
• 22:27
  and
• 22:27
  some
• 22:28
  states
• 22:28
  call
• 22:28
  them
• 22:28
  guardian
• 22:29
  ad
• 22:29
  litems.
• 22:30
  And
• 22:30
  essentially
• 22:31
  you
• 22:31
  can
• 22:32
  volunteer
• 22:32
  to
• 22:33
  do
• 22:33
  them
• 22:33
  as
• 22:33
  long
• 22:34
  as
• 22:34
  you
• 22:34
  have
• 22:34
  a
• 22:34
  clean
• 22:35
  criminal
• 22:35
  record
• 22:35
  and
• 22:36
  you're
• 22:36
  will
• 22:37
  class,
• 22:38
  you
• 22:38
  can
• 22:38
  get
• 22:39
  assigned
• 22:39
  a
• 22:40
  child
• 22:40
  advocate.
• 22:40
  I
• 22:41
  see
• 22:41
  retired
• 22:41
  teachers
• 22:42
  do
• 22:42
  this
• 22:42
  all
• 22:43
  the
• 22:43
  time.
• 22:44
  Where
• 22:44
  they
• 22:44
  go
• 22:44
  through
• 22:44
  these
• 22:45
  classes.
• 22:45
  Almost
• 22:46
  every
• 22:46
  state
• 22:47
  has
• 22:47
  either
• 22:47
  a
• 22:47
  CASA
• 22:48
  or
• 22:48
  a
• 22:48
  G
• 22:49
  program.
• 22:49
  They
• 22:50
  will
• 22:50
  then
• 22:50
  assign
• 22:51
  you
• 22:51
  to
• 22:51
  a
• 22:51
  foster
• 22:52
  child
• 22:52
  and
• 22:52
  so
• 22:53
  this
• 22:53
  kid
• 22:53
  does
• 22:53
  not
• 22:53
  come
• 22:54
  home
• 22:54
  with
• 22:54
  you.
• 22:54
  It's
• 22:55
  your
• 22:55
  job
• 22:55
  to
• 22:56
  do
• 22:56
  things
• 22:56
  like
• 22:56
  attend
• 22:57
  their
• 22:57
  fatality
• 22:58
  or
• 22:58
  attend
• 22:58
  their
• 22:59
  child
• 22:59
  welfare
• 23:00
  team
• 23:00
  meetings,
• 23:01
  go
• 23:01
  to
• 23:01
  IEP
• 23:02
  meetings
• 23:02
  at
• 23:02
  the
• 23:03
  school
• 23:03
  system,
• 23:04
  you
• 23:04
  know,
• 23:04
  kind
• 23:05
  of
• 23:05
  be
• 23:05
  a
• 23:05
  supplement
• 23:06
  to
• 23:07
  social
• 23:07
  workers
• 23:08
  and
• 23:08
  to
• 23:08
  parents
• 23:08
  and
• 23:09
  to
• 23:09
  support.
• 23:10
  And
• 23:10
  that.
• 23:10
  That's
• 23:11
  what
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  did.
• 23:11
  And
• 23:12
  I
• 23:12
  will
• 23:12
  add,
• 23:12
  like,
• 23:13
  it
• 23:14
  is
• 23:14
  a
• 23:14
  really
• 23:14
  rewarding
• 23:15
  role.
• 23:15
  It's
• 23:16
  a
• 23:16
  volunteer
• 23:17
  position.
• 23:17
  You.
• 23:17
  You
• 23:18
  don't
• 23:18
  get
• 23:18
  paid
• 23:18
  to
• 23:18
  do
• 23:19
  it.
• 23:20
  But
• 23:20
  I
• 23:20
  will
• 23:21
  also
• 23:21
  add,
• 23:21
  I
• 23:21
  did
• 23:22
  not
• 23:22
  make
• 23:22
  friends
• 23:23
  doing
• 23:23
  that.
• 23:24
  If
• 23:24
  anything,
• 23:24
  there
• 23:25
  were
• 23:25
  definitely
• 23:25
  meetings
• 23:26
  where
• 23:27
  no
• 23:27
  one
• 23:27
  liked
• 23:27
  the
• 23:28
  things
• 23:28
  that
• 23:28
  I
• 23:28
  had
• 23:28
  to
• 23:29
  say
• 23:30
  because
• 23:30
  I
• 23:30
  was
• 23:31
  saying
• 23:31
  things
• 23:31
  like,
• 23:31
  I'm
• 23:32
  not
• 23:32
  going
• 23:32
  to
• 23:32
  prepare
• 23:33
  her
• 23:33
  for
• 23:33
  a
• 23:33
  ged
• 23:34
  and
• 23:34
  neither
• 23:34
  are
• 23:34
  you
• 23:35
  because
• 23:35
  we
• 23:35
  don't
• 23:35
  know
• 23:35
  what
• 23:36
  she
• 23:36
  capable
• 23:36
  of.
• 23:37
  You
• 23:37
  know,
• 23:37
  there
• 23:37
  were.
• 23:38
  I.
• 23:39
  I
• 23:39
  was
• 23:39
  a
• 23:39
  boat
• 23:39
  rocker.
• 23:40
  And
• 23:40
  that's
• 23:40
  okay.
• 23:42
  And
• 23:42
  that
• 23:42
  is
• 23:42
  okay.
• 23:43
  And
• 23:43
  that's
• 23:43
  the
• 23:43
  kind
• 23:43
  of
• 23:44
  advocacy
• 23:45
  everybody
• 23:46
  needs.
• 23:46
  Like
• 23:46
  I
• 23:46
  tell
• 23:47
  people,
• 23:47
  like,
• 23:47
  especially
• 23:48
  like
• 23:48
  with
• 23:48
  your
• 23:48
  own
• 23:48
  medical
• 23:49
  care,
• 23:50
  don't
• 23:50
  settle
• 23:51
  for
• 23:51
  just
• 23:51
  one
• 23:51
  doctor
• 23:52
  telling
• 23:52
  you
• 23:52
  one
• 23:53
  answer.
• 23:53
  Tell
• 23:53
  them,
• 23:53
  I
• 23:54
  want
• 23:54
  this.
• 23:54
  I
• 23:54
  want
• 23:54
  this
• 23:55
  test.
• 23:55
  I
• 23:55
  want
• 23:55
  that
• 23:56
  test.
• 23:56
  I
• 23:56
  mean,
• 23:57
  like,
• 23:57
  you
• 23:58
  have
• 23:58
  to
• 23:58
  advocate
• 23:59
  for
• 23:59
  yourself.
• 23:59
  And
• 23:59
  if
• 23:59
  you're
• 24:00
  a
• 24:00
  child,
• 24:00
  you
• 24:00
  can't
• 24:01
  do
• 24:01
  that.
• 24:02
  That's
• 24:02
  right.
• 24:03
  So
• 24:03
  you
• 24:03
  need
• 24:03
  someone
• 24:04
  to
• 24:04
  do
• 24:04
  that
• 24:04
  for
• 24:04
  you.
• 24:05
  So
• 24:05
  how
• 24:05
  did
• 24:05
  you
• 24:06
  end
• 24:06
  up
• 24:06
  adopting
• 24:06
  her?
• 24:06
  I
• 24:07
  mean,
• 24:07
  that's
• 24:07
  kind
• 24:07
  of
• 24:07
  cool.
• 24:09
  Well,
• 24:09
  essentially
• 24:10
  what
• 24:10
  happened
• 24:10
  was
• 24:11
  she
• 24:11
  aged
• 24:11
  out
• 24:11
  of
• 24:11
  foster
• 24:12
  care.
• 24:13
  And
• 24:13
  so
• 24:13
  this
• 24:14
  is
• 24:14
  a
• 24:14
  national
• 24:15
  problem.
• 24:15
  When
• 24:16
  children
• 24:16
  turn
• 24:16
  18,
• 24:17
  there's
• 24:18
  almost
• 24:18
  nowhere
• 24:19
  for
• 24:19
  them
• 24:19
  to
• 24:19
  go.
• 24:21
  There's
• 24:21
  the
• 24:21
  occasional
• 24:22
  nonprofit.
• 24:23
  My
• 24:23
  county
• 24:23
  has
• 24:23
  a
• 24:24
  very
• 24:24
  good
• 24:24
  one,
• 24:24
  but
• 24:25
  it
• 24:25
  can't
• 24:25
  serve
• 24:25
  all
• 24:25
  the
• 24:26
  children
• 24:26
  that
• 24:26
  age
• 24:26
  out.
• 24:28
  And
• 24:28
  so
• 24:28
  for
• 24:28
  many
• 24:28
  of
• 24:28
  these
• 24:29
  kids,
• 24:29
  their
• 24:29
  options
• 24:29
  are
• 24:30
  to
• 24:30
  go
• 24:30
  back
• 24:30
  to
• 24:30
  their
• 24:30
  family
• 24:31
  of
• 24:31
  origin,
• 24:31
  which
• 24:32
  is
• 24:32
  often
• 24:35
  often
• 24:35
  really
• 24:36
  not
• 24:36
  a
• 24:36
  choice.
• 24:38
  I
• 24:38
  was
• 24:39
  very
• 24:39
  worried
• 24:39
  when
• 24:40
  Tonya
• 24:40
  was
• 24:40
  18
• 24:41
  because
• 24:42
  she
• 24:42
  did
• 24:43
  have
• 24:43
  a
• 24:43
  high
• 24:43
  school
• 24:43
  diploma,
• 24:44
  but
• 24:44
  she
• 24:44
  had
• 24:45
  not
• 24:45
  yet
• 24:45
  gotten
• 24:45
  a
• 24:45
  driver's
• 24:46
  license.
• 24:46
  And
• 24:47
  I
• 24:47
  live
• 24:47
  in
• 24:47
  an
• 24:47
  area
• 24:47
  where
• 24:48
  there's
• 24:48
  not
• 24:48
  access
• 24:48
  to
• 24:49
  a
• 24:49
  lot
• 24:49
  of
• 24:49
  public
• 24:49
  transportation,
• 24:50
  and
• 24:51
  the
• 24:51
  public
• 24:51
  transportation
• 24:52
  we
• 24:52
  have
• 24:52
  is
• 24:52
  not
• 24:52
  really
• 24:53
  safe.
• 24:54
  And
• 24:54
  so
• 24:54
  I
• 24:55
  was
• 24:55
  worried
• 24:55
  about
• 24:55
  that
• 24:56
  because
• 24:56
  a
• 24:56
  lot
• 24:56
  of
• 24:56
  foster
• 24:57
  kids
• 24:57
  can't
• 24:57
  get
• 24:57
  their
• 24:57
  driver's
• 24:58
  licenses
• 24:58
  because
• 24:59
  who's
• 24:59
  going
• 24:59
  to
• 24:59
  pay
• 25:00
  for
• 25:00
  that
• 25:00
  car
• 25:00
  insurance
• 25:01
  and
• 25:01
  who's
• 25:02
  going
• 25:02
  to
• 25:02
  accept
• 25:02
  that
• 25:02
  liability
• 25:03
  if
• 25:04
  they
• 25:04
  wreck
• 25:04
  a
• 25:04
  car?
• 25:05
  Like,
• 25:05
  you
• 25:05
  know,
• 25:05
  the
• 25:05
  state's
• 25:06
  not
• 25:06
  going
• 25:06
  to
• 25:06
  accept
• 25:07
  that
• 25:07
  kind
• 25:07
  of
• 25:07
  automotive
• 25:08
  liability.
• 25:09
  So
• 25:09
  a
• 25:09
  lot
• 25:10
  of
• 25:10
  these
• 25:10
  kids
• 25:10
  graduate
• 25:11
  from
• 25:11
  high
• 25:11
  or
• 25:12
  finish
• 25:12
  age
• 25:12
  out,
• 25:13
  but
• 25:13
  they
• 25:14
  don't
• 25:14
  have
• 25:14
  basic
• 25:15
  things
• 25:15
  that
• 25:15
  they
• 25:15
  need
• 25:15
  to
• 25:16
  be
• 25:16
  responsible
• 25:16
  adults.
• 25:17
  Many
• 25:17
  of
• 25:18
  them
• 25:18
  don't
• 25:18
  even
• 25:18
  know
• 25:18
  where
• 25:18
  things
• 25:19
  like
• 25:19
  their
• 25:19
  Social
• 25:19
  Security
• 25:20
  cards
• 25:20
  are
• 25:21
  or
• 25:21
  their
• 25:21
  birth
• 25:21
  certificate
• 25:22
  is.
• 25:23
  And
• 25:23
  so
• 25:24
  I
• 25:25
  was
• 25:25
  worried
• 25:25
  about
• 25:25
  her.
• 25:26
  And
• 25:26
  my
• 25:26
  daughter's
• 25:27
  really,
• 25:27
  really
• 25:27
  pretty.
• 25:28
  She
• 25:28
  really
• 25:28
  is.
• 25:29
  I'm
• 25:29
  not
• 25:29
  just
• 25:29
  saying
• 25:29
  that
• 25:29
  because
• 25:30
  I'm
• 25:30
  biased
• 25:30
  because
• 25:30
  I'm
• 25:30
  her.
• 25:31
  Her
• 25:31
  mother,
• 25:31
  but
• 25:31
  she
• 25:32
  is.
• 25:32
  She's
• 25:32
  beautiful
• 25:33
  girl.
• 25:33
  And
• 25:34
  I
• 25:34
  was
• 25:34
  honestly
• 25:34
  worried
• 25:35
  that
• 25:35
  she
• 25:35
  was
• 25:35
  going
• 25:35
  to
• 25:36
  get
• 25:36
  trafficked
• 25:36
  or
• 25:36
  wind
• 25:36
  up
• 25:37
  stripping.
• 25:37
  That's
• 25:38
  the
• 25:38
  first.
• 25:38
  That's
• 25:39
  the
• 25:39
  first
• 25:39
  thing
• 25:39
  that
• 25:39
  came
• 25:39
  across
• 25:40
  my
• 25:40
  mind,
• 25:40
  because
• 25:40
  that
• 25:41
  happens
• 25:41
  a
• 25:42
  lot.
• 25:42
  Or
• 25:42
  she
• 25:43
  was
• 25:43
  going
• 25:43
  to
• 25:43
  wind
• 25:43
  up
• 25:44
  homeless
• 25:44
  and
• 25:45
  something.
• 25:45
  Not.
• 25:45
  It
• 25:46
  was
• 25:46
  nothing
• 25:46
  good
• 25:47
  was
• 25:47
  going
• 25:47
  to
• 25:47
  happen
• 25:48
  to
• 25:48
  her.
• 25:49
  And
• 25:50
  I
• 25:50
  was
• 25:50
  a
• 25:50
  newlywed
• 25:51
  at
• 25:51
  the
• 25:51
  time,
• 25:52
  and
• 25:53
  my
• 25:53
  husband
• 25:54
  had
• 25:54
  known
• 25:55
  about
• 25:56
  her
• 25:56
  for
• 25:57
  a
• 25:57
  long
• 25:57
  time
• 25:58
  because
• 25:58
  he
• 25:58
  knew
• 25:59
  I
• 25:59
  was
• 25:59
  always
• 25:59
  taking
• 26:00
  calls
• 26:00
  from
• 26:00
  this
• 26:01
  kid,
• 26:01
  and
• 26:01
  I
• 26:01
  was
• 26:02
  always
• 26:02
  mentoring
• 26:02
  this
• 26:03
  kid
• 26:03
  and
• 26:03
  I
• 26:03
  was
• 26:04
  always
• 26:04
  going
• 26:04
  to
• 26:04
  meetings
• 26:04
  about.
• 26:05
  So
• 26:05
  he
• 26:05
  knew,
• 26:06
  like,
• 26:06
  it's
• 26:06
  not
• 26:06
  like
• 26:07
  she
• 26:08
  was
• 26:08
  not,
• 26:08
  you
• 26:09
  know,
• 26:10
  part
• 26:10
  of
• 26:10
  his
• 26:10
  life.
• 26:10
  Right,
• 26:11
  right.
• 26:11
  He.
• 26:12
  He
• 26:12
  knew.
• 26:13
  But
• 26:13
  I
• 26:13
  came
• 26:14
  home
• 26:14
  one
• 26:14
  day
• 26:14
  and
• 26:15
  we
• 26:15
  had.
• 26:15
  We
• 26:16
  lived
• 26:16
  in
• 26:16
  a
• 26:16
  townhome.
• 26:17
  It
• 26:17
  was
• 26:17
  not
• 26:17
  a
• 26:17
  big
• 26:17
  house.
• 26:18
  We
• 26:19
  had
• 26:19
  a
• 26:19
  town
• 26:19
  home
• 26:19
  with
• 26:19
  an
• 26:20
  extra
• 26:20
  bedroom
• 26:20
  and
• 26:20
  bathroom.
• 26:21
  And
• 26:21
  I
• 26:21
  said
• 26:21
  to
• 26:22
  him,
• 26:22
  I
• 26:23
  said,
• 26:25
  we
• 26:25
  are
• 26:25
  going
• 26:25
  to
• 26:25
  have
• 26:26
  to
• 26:26
  bring
• 26:26
  Tanya
• 26:27
  home
• 26:27
  and
• 26:27
  let
• 26:27
  her
• 26:28
  live
• 26:28
  with
• 26:28
  us.
• 26:29
  And
• 26:29
  he
• 26:30
  looked
• 26:30
  at
• 26:30
  me
• 26:31
  and
• 26:31
  I
• 26:31
  said,
• 26:32
  we
• 26:32
  have
• 26:32
  an
• 26:32
  extra
• 26:33
  bedroom
• 26:33
  and
• 26:33
  an
• 26:33
  extra
• 26:34
  bathroom
• 26:34
  that
• 26:34
  no
• 26:34
  one's
• 26:35
  using.
• 26:36
  And
• 26:36
  I
• 26:36
  cannot
• 26:37
  leave
• 26:37
  her.
• 26:37
  Like,
• 26:38
  I
• 26:38
  cannot
• 26:38
  do
• 26:38
  it.
• 26:39
  Like,
• 26:39
  I'm
• 26:39
  not
• 26:39
  going
• 26:40
  to
• 26:40
  be
• 26:40
  able
• 26:40
  to
• 26:40
  live
• 26:40
  with
• 26:41
  myself
• 26:42
  if
• 26:42
  I
• 26:43
  abandon
• 26:43
  her.
• 26:43
  I
• 26:44
  cannot
• 26:44
  abandon
• 26:44
  her.
• 26:46
  And
• 26:46
  he
• 26:46
  was
• 26:46
  like,
• 26:47
  well,
• 26:48
  I
• 26:48
  guess
• 26:49
  we're
• 26:49
  getting
• 26:49
  a
• 26:49
  kid
• 26:50
  now.
• 26:51
  I
• 26:52
  will
• 26:52
  add,
• 26:53
  my
• 26:53
  husband
• 26:53
  is
• 26:54
  the
• 26:54
  type
• 26:54
  of
• 26:54
  man,
• 26:55
  like,
• 26:55
  I
• 26:55
  never
• 26:55
  know
• 26:55
  how
• 26:56
  to
• 26:56
  deal
• 26:56
  with
• 26:56
  women
• 26:56
  that
• 26:57
  are
• 26:57
  like,
• 26:57
  I
• 26:58
  have
• 26:58
  to
• 26:58
  ask
• 26:58
  my
• 26:58
  husband's
• 26:59
  permission.
• 27:00
  If
• 27:00
  I
• 27:00
  came
• 27:00
  home
• 27:01
  right
• 27:01
  now
• 27:01
  and
• 27:01
  told
• 27:01
  my
• 27:02
  husband
• 27:02
  I
• 27:02
  was
• 27:02
  going
• 27:03
  to
• 27:03
  buy
• 27:03
  a
• 27:03
  zebra,
• 27:04
  he
• 27:04
  would
• 27:05
  build
• 27:05
  a
• 27:05
  pin
• 27:05
  for
• 27:06
  it
• 27:06
  in
• 27:06
  the
• 27:06
  backyard.
• 27:07
  Like,
• 27:07
  he's
• 27:07
  that
• 27:08
  type
• 27:08
  of,
• 27:08
  like,
• 27:08
  supportive
• 27:09
  guy.
• 27:10
  Yeah.
• 27:10
  So
• 27:11
  I
• 27:12
  was
• 27:12
  very
• 27:12
  fortunate
• 27:13
  that
• 27:13
  that's
• 27:13
  the
• 27:13
  man
• 27:13
  that
• 27:14
  I
• 27:14
  married.
• 27:14
  But
• 27:14
  in
• 27:14
  any
• 27:15
  event,
• 27:16
  Tanya
• 27:17
  moved
• 27:17
  in.
• 27:17
  We
• 27:17
  told
• 27:17
  her
• 27:18
  she
• 27:18
  had
• 27:18
  three
• 27:18
  rules.
• 27:19
  You've
• 27:19
  got
• 27:20
  to
• 27:20
  go
• 27:21
  to
• 27:21
  school.
• 27:22
  We
• 27:22
  don't
• 27:22
  care
• 27:22
  what
• 27:22
  you
• 27:22
  go
• 27:23
  to
• 27:23
  school
• 27:23
  to
• 27:23
  do,
• 27:24
  but
• 27:24
  you've
• 27:24
  got
• 27:24
  to
• 27:24
  go
• 27:24
  to
• 27:25
  school
• 27:25
  and
• 27:25
  learn
• 27:25
  how
• 27:25
  to
• 27:26
  do
• 27:26
  something
• 27:26
  where
• 27:26
  you
• 27:26
  can
• 27:27
  support
• 27:27
  yourself.
• 27:28
  You
• 27:28
  got
• 27:28
  to
• 27:28
  work
• 27:29
  a
• 27:29
  college
• 27:29
  appropriate
• 27:30
  job,
• 27:31
  so
• 27:31
  you
• 27:31
  can't
• 27:32
  be
• 27:32
  stripping
• 27:32
  or
• 27:33
  anything
• 27:33
  like
• 27:33
  that.
• 27:33
  But,
• 27:34
  you
• 27:34
  know,
• 27:34
  she
• 27:34
  wound
• 27:35
  up
• 27:35
  working
• 27:35
  at
• 27:35
  Subway.
• 27:36
  For
• 27:36
  the
• 27:36
  record,
• 27:36
  she
• 27:37
  made
• 27:37
  sandwiches
• 27:37
  the
• 27:37
  whole
• 27:38
  time
• 27:38
  she
• 27:38
  was
• 27:38
  in
• 27:38
  school,
• 27:39
  which
• 27:39
  Was
• 27:40
  a
• 27:40
  great
• 27:40
  age
• 27:40
  appropriate,
• 27:42
  fabulous
• 27:43
  job
• 27:43
  for
• 27:43
  an
• 27:43
  18
• 27:44
  year
• 27:44
  old
• 27:44
  girl
• 27:45
  or
• 27:45
  really
• 27:45
  anyone
• 27:46
  but
• 27:46
  fabulous
• 27:47
  job
• 27:47
  for
• 27:47
  her.
• 27:48
  And
• 27:48
  then
• 27:49
  she,
• 27:49
  we
• 27:49
  told
• 27:50
  her,
• 27:50
  you
• 27:50
  know,
• 27:50
  you
• 27:50
  can't
• 27:51
  bring
• 27:51
  problems
• 27:51
  into
• 27:52
  our
• 27:52
  home.
• 27:54
  So
• 27:54
  she
• 27:55
  lived
• 27:55
  with
• 27:55
  us.
• 27:56
  She
• 27:56
  ultimately
• 27:57
  graduated
• 27:57
  from
• 27:58
  college.
• 28:00
  Her
• 28:01
  biological
• 28:01
  mother
• 28:02
  died
• 28:03
  during
• 28:03
  the
• 28:03
  pandemic.
• 28:05
  Not
• 28:05
  from
• 28:05
  the
• 28:05
  pandemic,
• 28:06
  but
• 28:06
  her
• 28:06
  biological
• 28:07
  mother
• 28:07
  died
• 28:07
  during
• 28:07
  the
• 28:08
  pandemic
• 28:08
  and
• 28:08
  we
• 28:09
  legally
• 28:09
  adopted
• 28:09
  her
• 28:10
  after
• 28:10
  her
• 28:10
  biological
• 28:11
  mother
• 28:11
  passed
• 28:11
  away.
• 28:12
  That's
• 28:13
  awesome.
• 28:13
  I
• 28:13
  mean
• 28:13
  that's
• 28:13
  a
• 28:13
  great
• 28:14
  story.
• 28:15
  It's
• 28:15
  a
• 28:15
  great
• 28:15
  story.
• 28:16
  I'm
• 28:16
  going
• 28:16
  to
• 28:17
  go
• 28:17
  back
• 28:17
  though
• 28:18
  and
• 28:20
  really
• 28:21
  as
• 28:22
  in
• 28:22
  the
• 28:22
  law
• 28:22
  part
• 28:23
  slash
• 28:23
  advocate
• 28:24
  part,
• 28:25
  how
• 28:25
  much
• 28:26
  work
• 28:27
  is
• 28:27
  being
• 28:27
  done
• 28:28
  on
• 28:28
  making
• 28:28
  sure,
• 28:28
  like
• 28:29
  how
• 28:29
  much
• 28:29
  does.
• 28:30
  Do
• 28:30
  you
• 28:31
  foster
• 28:31
  parents
• 28:32
  have
• 28:32
  any
• 28:32
  trauma
• 28:33
  informed
• 28:33
  care
• 28:34
  training?
• 28:35
  Is
• 28:35
  there
• 28:35
  any?
• 28:37
  I
• 28:37
  mean
• 28:37
  that
• 28:38
  seems
• 28:38
  to
• 28:38
  be
• 28:38
  the
• 28:38
  biggest
• 28:39
  thing
• 28:39
  because
• 28:40
  I
• 28:40
  know
• 28:40
  I
• 28:41
  struggle
• 28:41
  with
• 28:41
  my
• 28:41
  own
• 28:42
  children
• 28:42
  and
• 28:42
  it's
• 28:42
  because
• 28:43
  of
• 28:43
  my
• 28:43
  trauma.
• 28:44
  I
• 28:44
  struggled.
• 28:44
  My
• 28:45
  children
• 28:46
  I
• 28:46
  can't
• 28:46
  even
• 28:46
  imagine.
• 28:47
  Yes,
• 28:48
  someone
• 28:48
  that
• 28:48
  doesn't
• 28:49
  have
• 28:49
  the
• 28:49
  background,
• 28:50
  doesn't
• 28:50
  have
• 28:50
  the
• 28:51
  understanding,
• 28:52
  doesn't
• 28:52
  have
• 28:52
  the
• 28:52
  training.
• 28:54
  That's
• 28:54
  why
• 28:54
  they,
• 28:55
  I
• 28:55
  mean
• 28:55
  that
• 28:55
  has
• 28:56
  got
• 28:56
  to
• 28:56
  be
• 28:56
  why
• 28:56
  they
• 28:57
  go
• 28:57
  through
• 28:57
  so
• 28:57
  many.
• 28:58
  I
• 28:58
  just
• 28:58
  can't
• 28:58
  take
• 28:58
  care
• 28:59
  of
• 28:59
  her
• 28:59
  anymore.
• 28:59
  I
• 28:59
  can't
• 29:00
  do
• 29:00
  it.
• 29:00
  I
• 29:00
  can't.
• 29:01
  Throwing
• 29:01
  up
• 29:01
  your
• 29:02
  hands
• 29:02
  and
• 29:03
  no
• 29:03
  fault,
• 29:03
  no
• 29:04
  fault
• 29:04
  to
• 29:04
  them
• 29:04
  if
• 29:05
  they're
• 29:05
  not
• 29:06
  equipped.
• 29:07
  Correct.
• 29:08
  So
• 29:08
  I
• 29:09
  think
• 29:09
  that
• 29:09
  it
• 29:09
  is
• 29:09
  a
• 29:09
  twofold
• 29:10
  problem.
• 29:11
  I
• 29:11
  do
• 29:12
  believe
• 29:12
  that
• 29:12
  most
• 29:12
  states
• 29:13
  and
• 29:13
  most
• 29:13
  foster
• 29:14
  licensing
• 29:14
  agencies
• 29:15
  are
• 29:15
  providing
• 29:16
  trauma
• 29:16
  informed
• 29:17
  training.
• 29:17
  I
• 29:17
  do
• 29:17
  think
• 29:18
  that
• 29:18
  is
• 29:18
  true.
• 29:19
  However,
• 29:20
  I'm
• 29:21
  not
• 29:21
  sure
• 29:22
  that
• 29:23
  you
• 29:24
  can
• 29:24
  really
• 29:25
  understand
• 29:25
  it
• 29:25
  from
• 29:26
  a
• 29:26
  class.
• 29:26
  I'm
• 29:27
  really
• 29:27
  not
• 29:28
  like,
• 29:29
  I
• 29:29
  come
• 29:30
  from
• 29:30
  a
• 29:30
  background
• 29:30
  where
• 29:31
  my
• 29:31
  maternal
• 29:32
  grandparents,
• 29:32
  my,
• 29:33
  my
• 29:33
  grandfather
• 29:33
  was
• 29:34
  an
• 29:34
  alcoholic.
• 29:34
  I
• 29:35
  mean,
• 29:36
  you
• 29:36
  know,
• 29:36
  and,
• 29:36
  and
• 29:37
  I
• 29:37
  apologize
• 29:38
  to
• 29:38
  the
• 29:38
  rest
• 29:39
  of
• 29:39
  my
• 29:39
  family
• 29:39
  for
• 29:39
  saying
• 29:39
  that
• 29:40
  on
• 29:40
  tv,
• 29:40
  but
• 29:40
  he
• 29:40
  was,
• 29:41
  and
• 29:41
  we
• 29:41
  all
• 29:41
  know
• 29:41
  he
• 29:42
  was,
• 29:42
  he
• 29:43
  was
• 29:43
  an
• 29:43
  alcoholic.
• 29:44
  And
• 29:45
  my
• 29:46
  grandmother
• 29:47
  and
• 29:47
  him
• 29:47
  were
• 29:47
  the
• 29:47
  type
• 29:48
  of
• 29:48
  couple
• 29:48
  where
• 29:48
  they
• 29:48
  would
• 29:49
  get
• 29:49
  married
• 29:49
  and
• 29:49
  divorced.
• 29:50
  And
• 29:50
  you
• 29:50
  know,
• 29:51
  this
• 29:51
  was
• 29:51
  back
• 29:51
  in
• 29:51
  the
• 29:51
  50s
• 29:52
  and
• 29:52
  60s
• 29:52
  when
• 29:52
  they
• 29:53
  were
• 29:53
  having
• 29:53
  their
• 29:53
  children.
• 29:55
  So
• 29:55
  there,
• 29:55
  the
• 29:55
  state
• 29:56
  wasn't
• 29:56
  really
• 29:56
  going
• 29:56
  to
• 29:56
  do
• 29:56
  a
• 29:57
  whole
• 29:57
  lot
• 29:57
  back
• 29:58
  then,
• 29:59
  but
• 30:00
  they
• 30:00
  kept
• 30:00
  getting
• 30:00
  divorced
• 30:01
  and
• 30:01
  remarried
• 30:01
  and
• 30:02
  they
• 30:02
  actually
• 30:02
  had
• 30:02
  an
• 30:02
  incident
• 30:03
  where
• 30:03
  my
• 30:03
  grandmother
• 30:04
  shot
• 30:04
  him
• 30:06
  because
• 30:06
  he
• 30:06
  came
• 30:07
  home
• 30:07
  smelling
• 30:08
  like
• 30:08
  another
• 30:08
  woman's
• 30:08
  cologne.
• 30:09
  And
• 30:10
  he
• 30:10
  was
• 30:10
  in
• 30:11
  the
• 30:11
  hospital
• 30:12
  and
• 30:13
  you
• 30:13
  know,
• 30:13
  he
• 30:13
  didn't
• 30:14
  press
• 30:14
  charges
• 30:14
  against
• 30:15
  her.
• 30:15
  Basically
• 30:15
  he
• 30:16
  was
• 30:16
  just
• 30:16
  like,
• 30:16
  I
• 30:16
  was
• 30:16
  glad
• 30:17
  I
• 30:17
  was
• 30:17
  drunk
• 30:17
  when
• 30:17
  that
• 30:18
  happened.
• 30:19
  Like.
• 30:19
  So
• 30:19
  my
• 30:20
  mom
• 30:21
  and
• 30:21
  her
• 30:21
  siblings
• 30:22
  were
• 30:22
  subjected,
• 30:24
  like
• 30:24
  they
• 30:24
  joke
• 30:25
  about
• 30:25
  it
• 30:25
  like,
• 30:25
  yeah,
• 30:26
  that
• 30:26
  time
• 30:26
  mom
• 30:26
  shot
• 30:27
  dad.
• 30:27
  But
• 30:28
  they
• 30:28
  were
• 30:28
  subjected
• 30:29
  to
• 30:29
  profound
• 30:30
  domestic
• 30:31
  violence.
• 30:32
  And
• 30:33
  I
• 30:33
  just
• 30:33
  grew
• 30:34
  up
• 30:34
  hearing
• 30:34
  about
• 30:34
  it.
• 30:35
  But
• 30:35
  I
• 30:35
  had
• 30:35
  the
• 30:35
  Benefit
• 30:36
  of
• 30:36
  being
• 30:36
  the
• 30:36
  third
• 30:37
  generation.
• 30:38
  Right.
• 30:39
  Like,
• 30:39
  I'm
• 30:39
  a
• 30:39
  generation
• 30:40
  removed
• 30:41
  from
• 30:41
  what
• 30:41
  they
• 30:41
  experienced.
• 30:43
  So
• 30:43
  I
• 30:43
  was
• 30:44
  hearing
• 30:44
  about
• 30:44
  it
• 30:44
  in
• 30:45
  terms
• 30:45
  of
• 30:45
  stories,
• 30:46
  I
• 30:46
  wasn't
• 30:46
  living
• 30:47
  it.
• 30:48
  And
• 30:48
  my
• 30:49
  father's
• 30:49
  family
• 30:50
  is
• 30:50
  also
• 30:51
  like,
• 30:51
  they're
• 30:52
  the
• 30:52
  salt
• 30:52
  of
• 30:52
  the
• 30:53
  earth,
• 30:53
  man.
• 30:53
  Like
• 30:53
  my
• 30:54
  grandparents
• 30:54
  and
• 30:54
  my
• 30:55
  dad
• 30:55
  are
• 30:56
  the
• 30:56
  most
• 30:57
  stable
• 30:57
  people.
• 30:58
  So
• 30:59
  I
• 30:59
  kind
• 30:59
  of
• 31:00
  was
• 31:00
  able
• 31:00
  to
• 31:01
  learn
• 31:01
  about
• 31:01
  my
• 31:01
  mom's
• 31:02
  trauma
• 31:03
  in
• 31:03
  more
• 31:03
  of
• 31:03
  an
• 31:03
  academic
• 31:04
  capacity.
• 31:06
  But
• 31:06
  I
• 31:06
  think
• 31:06
  if
• 31:07
  you
• 31:07
  don't
• 31:07
  have
• 31:07
  that
• 31:07
  type
• 31:08
  of
• 31:08
  a
• 31:08
  background,
• 31:09
  then
• 31:10
  it's
• 31:10
  very
• 31:11
  difficult
• 31:11
  for
• 31:12
  you
• 31:12
  to
• 31:12
  really
• 31:13
  understand
• 31:13
  what
• 31:14
  these
• 31:14
  kids
• 31:14
  face.
• 31:15
  And
• 31:15
  the
• 31:16
  other
• 31:16
  thing
• 31:16
  that
• 31:16
  I'll
• 31:17
  say
• 31:17
  too
• 31:17
  is
• 31:17
  it's
• 31:18
  one
• 31:18
  thing
• 31:18
  to
• 31:18
  understand
• 31:19
  it,
• 31:20
  it's
• 31:20
  another
• 31:20
  thing
• 31:21
  to
• 31:21
  live
• 31:22
  it.
• 31:22
  Oh
• 31:23
  yeah.
• 31:23
  And
• 31:24
  our
• 31:24
  foster
• 31:24
  parents,
• 31:25
  the
• 31:25
  best
• 31:25
  foster
• 31:26
  parents,
• 31:26
  are
• 31:26
  the
• 31:26
  ones
• 31:27
  who
• 31:27
  get
• 31:27
  it,
• 31:28
  who
• 31:28
  really
• 31:28
  truly
• 31:29
  get
• 31:29
  it.
• 31:30
  Because
• 31:30
  I'll
• 31:30
  say
• 31:30
  too,
• 31:31
  there
• 31:31
  are
• 31:31
  some
• 31:31
  terrible
• 31:31
  foster
• 31:32
  parents
• 31:32
  and
• 31:32
  there
• 31:33
  are
• 31:33
  some
• 31:33
  foster
• 31:33
  parents
• 31:33
  who
• 31:34
  cannot
• 31:34
  take
• 31:34
  it.
• 31:35
  But
• 31:35
  I've
• 31:35
  also
• 31:35
  seen
• 31:36
  some
• 31:36
  people
• 31:37
  that
• 31:37
  have
• 31:38
  raised
• 31:40
  17
• 31:40
  kids
• 31:41
  because
• 31:42
  they
• 31:42
  do
• 31:42
  one
• 31:42
  at
• 31:42
  a
• 31:43
  time.
• 31:43
  And
• 31:43
  some
• 31:43
  of
• 31:44
  those
• 31:44
  people
• 31:44
  are
• 31:44
  absolutely
• 31:45
  amazing.
• 31:46
  And
• 31:47
  Christmas
• 31:48
  dinner
• 31:48
  at
• 31:48
  their
• 31:48
  house
• 31:49
  is
• 31:50
  crazy
• 31:50
  because
• 31:51
  there's
• 31:51
  all
• 31:51
  these
• 31:51
  kids
• 31:52
  that
• 31:52
  they've
• 31:52
  raised
• 31:52
  who
• 31:53
  are
• 31:53
  coming
• 31:53
  home
• 31:53
  to
• 31:53
  foster
• 31:54
  mama.
• 31:55
  Yeah.
• 31:55
  No,
• 31:56
  and
• 31:56
  that's,
• 31:56
  that's
• 31:57
  the
• 31:57
  goal.
• 31:58
  But
• 31:58
  you
• 31:58
  know,
• 31:59
  you
• 31:59
  talk
• 31:59
  about,
• 31:59
  we
• 31:59
  talk
• 32:00
  a
• 32:00
  lot
• 32:00
  on
• 32:00
  this
• 32:00
  show
• 32:00
  about
• 32:01
  the
• 32:01
  aces
• 32:01
  and
• 32:01
  I
• 32:02
  wish
• 32:02
  I
• 32:02
  had
• 32:02
  more
• 32:02
  time
• 32:02
  to
• 32:03
  even
• 32:03
  get
• 32:03
  into
• 32:03
  that,
• 32:04
  you
• 32:04
  know,
• 32:04
  the
• 32:04
  adverse
• 32:05
  childhood
• 32:05
  experiences
• 32:06
  and
• 32:06
  just,
• 32:07
  just
• 32:07
  having
• 32:08
  ace
• 32:08
  training
• 32:09
  and
• 32:09
  like,
• 32:09
  what
• 32:09
  do
• 32:09
  you
• 32:10
  do?
• 32:10
  Like,
• 32:10
  what
• 32:10
  are
• 32:10
  some
• 32:11
  simple
• 32:11
  tips?
• 32:12
  Like
• 32:12
  what,
• 32:12
  what
• 32:13
  are
• 32:13
  some
• 32:13
  simple
• 32:13
  tricks
• 32:14
  that
• 32:14
  you
• 32:14
  might
• 32:15
  give
• 32:15
  a
• 32:16
  foster
• 32:16
  parent
• 32:16
  or
• 32:16
  somebody
• 32:17
  dealing.
• 32:17
  Just
• 32:17
  simple
• 32:18
  things
• 32:18
  that
• 32:19
  they
• 32:19
  can
• 32:19
  do.
• 32:19
  I
• 32:20
  think
• 32:20
  one
• 32:20
  of
• 32:20
  the
• 32:20
  best
• 32:20
  things
• 32:21
  you
• 32:21
  said
• 32:21
  so
• 32:21
  far
• 32:22
  was
• 32:22
  we
• 32:22
  have
• 32:22
  to
• 32:22
  love
• 32:23
  her
• 32:23
  through
• 32:23
  this.
• 32:23
  Yes.
• 32:24
  Like,
• 32:25
  you
• 32:25
  know,
• 32:25
  so
• 32:25
  are
• 32:26
  there
• 32:26
  any
• 32:26
  other
• 32:26
  little
• 32:27
  tips
• 32:27
  that
• 32:27
  you
• 32:27
  would
• 32:27
  give
• 32:28
  that
• 32:28
  foster
• 32:29
  parent
• 32:29
  who
• 32:30
  is
• 32:31
  ill
• 32:31
  equipped?
• 32:32
  I
• 32:32
  would
• 32:33
  say
• 32:33
  the
• 32:33
  first
• 32:33
  thing
• 32:33
  is
• 32:34
  relationship
• 32:34
  repair.
• 32:36
  So
• 32:36
  one
• 32:36
  of
• 32:36
  the
• 32:37
  most
• 32:37
  important
• 32:37
  things
• 32:37
  about
• 32:38
  kids
• 32:38
  in
• 32:38
  foster
• 32:39
  care
• 32:39
  is
• 32:39
  that
• 32:39
  very
• 32:39
  rarely
• 32:40
  has
• 32:40
  anyone
• 32:41
  tried
• 32:41
  to
• 32:41
  do
• 32:41
  any
• 32:41
  relationship
• 32:42
  repair
• 32:42
  with
• 32:43
  them.
• 32:43
  You
• 32:43
  know,
• 32:44
  addicts
• 32:44
  are
• 32:44
  never
• 32:44
  going
• 32:45
  to
• 32:45
  apologize
• 32:46
  for
• 32:46
  doing
• 32:46
  drugs.
• 32:47
  That's
• 32:47
  just,
• 32:48
  it's
• 32:48
  someone,
• 32:49
  show
• 32:49
  me
• 32:49
  an
• 32:49
  addict
• 32:50
  who's
• 32:50
  not
• 32:50
  in
• 32:50
  recovery
• 32:51
  who
• 32:52
  is
• 32:52
  going
• 32:52
  to
• 32:52
  apologize
• 32:53
  to
• 32:53
  you
• 32:53
  for
• 32:53
  anything.
• 32:54
  It's
• 32:54
  going
• 32:54
  to
• 32:55
  be
• 32:55
  everyone
• 32:55
  else's
• 32:56
  fault
• 32:56
  but
• 32:56
  theirs.
• 32:57
  And
• 32:57
  so
• 32:58
  most
• 32:58
  of
• 32:58
  these
• 32:58
  children
• 32:59
  have
• 32:59
  no
• 32:59
  idea
• 33:00
  what
• 33:00
  it
• 33:00
  means
• 33:00
  to
• 33:01
  hear.
• 33:01
  I'm
• 33:02
  sorry.
• 33:03
  So
• 33:03
  some
• 33:04
  of
• 33:04
  the
• 33:04
  time
• 33:04
  what
• 33:04
  I
• 33:04
  think
• 33:05
  is
• 33:05
  good
• 33:05
  to
• 33:05
  do
• 33:05
  is
• 33:05
  just
• 33:06
  walk
• 33:06
  away.
• 33:06
  I
• 33:07
  mean,
• 33:07
  assuming
• 33:07
  the
• 33:07
  child's
• 33:08
  not
• 33:08
  destroying
• 33:09
  property
• 33:09
  or
• 33:09
  assaulting
• 33:10
  anyone,
• 33:11
  walk
• 33:11
  away.
• 33:12
  Let
• 33:12
  the
• 33:12
  child
• 33:12
  have
• 33:13
  their
• 33:13
  little
• 33:13
  tantrum.
• 33:14
  You
• 33:14
  know,
• 33:14
  let
• 33:14
  them
• 33:15
  be
• 33:15
  upset,
• 33:16
  walk
• 33:16
  away
• 33:17
  and
• 33:18
  come
• 33:18
  back
• 33:18
  to
• 33:18
  them
• 33:18
  when
• 33:19
  things
• 33:19
  are
• 33:19
  calm.
• 33:20
  An
• 33:20
  hour
• 33:21
  later,
• 33:21
  two
• 33:21
  hours
• 33:22
  later,
• 33:22
  maybe
• 33:23
  you
• 33:23
  come
• 33:23
  back
• 33:23
  a
• 33:23
  little
• 33:24
  bit
• 33:24
  later
• 33:24
  and
• 33:24
  you
• 33:24
  say,
• 33:24
  hey,
• 33:25
  dinner's
• 33:25
  ready.
• 33:26
  Or
• 33:26
  you
• 33:26
  say,
• 33:27
  hey,
• 33:27
  can
• 33:27
  I
• 33:27
  make
• 33:27
  you
• 33:27
  something
• 33:28
  for
• 33:28
  dinner?
• 33:29
  Or
• 33:29
  come
• 33:29
  back
• 33:29
  and
• 33:29
  say,
• 33:30
  hey,
• 33:30
  I
• 33:30
  washed
• 33:30
  your
• 33:30
  clothes.
• 33:31
  Here
• 33:31
  they
• 33:31
  are.
• 33:32
  Right.
• 33:32
  Because
• 33:33
  what
• 33:33
  that's
• 33:33
  going
• 33:33
  to
• 33:33
  show
• 33:34
  the
• 33:34
  child
• 33:34
  is
• 33:35
  I
• 33:35
  just
• 33:36
  completely
• 33:36
  exploded
• 33:37
  and
• 33:37
  showed
• 33:37
  myself.
• 33:38
  And
• 33:38
  you're
• 33:38
  still
• 33:39
  taking
• 33:39
  care
• 33:39
  of
• 33:39
  me.
• 33:40
  Why?
• 33:41
  Why
• 33:41
  are
• 33:41
  you
• 33:41
  still
• 33:41
  taking
• 33:42
  care
• 33:42
  of
• 33:42
  me?
• 33:42
  Why
• 33:43
  do
• 33:43
  you
• 33:43
  still
• 33:43
  care
• 33:43
  about
• 33:44
  me?
• 33:44
  Yep.
• 33:45
  It's
• 33:45
  that
• 33:45
  trust.
• 33:46
  Right?
• 33:47
  And
• 33:47
  what
• 33:47
  will
• 33:47
  happen
• 33:48
  over
• 33:48
  time
• 33:48
  as
• 33:49
  you
• 33:49
  show
• 33:49
  that
• 33:50
  child.
• 33:50
  I
• 33:51
  am
• 33:51
  not
• 33:51
  going
• 33:51
  to
• 33:52
  abandon
• 33:52
  you
• 33:53
  to.
• 33:54
  I'm
• 33:54
  going
• 33:55
  to
• 33:55
  be
• 33:55
  here.
• 33:56
  You
• 33:56
  will
• 33:56
  develop
• 33:57
  a
• 33:57
  trust
• 33:57
  with
• 33:57
  them.
• 33:58
  And
• 33:58
  I'm
• 33:58
  not
• 33:58
  telling
• 33:59
  y'
• 33:59
  all
• 33:59
  that
• 33:59
  things
• 33:59
  have
• 34:00
  been
• 34:00
  easy
• 34:00
  for
• 34:00
  Tanya
• 34:01
  and
• 34:01
  I.
• 34:01
  They
• 34:01
  have
• 34:01
  not
• 34:02
  been.
• 34:02
  But
• 34:03
  I
• 34:03
  will
• 34:03
  say
• 34:03
  that
• 34:04
  is
• 34:04
  something
• 34:04
  that
• 34:04
  we
• 34:05
  do.
• 34:05
  If
• 34:06
  we
• 34:06
  have
• 34:06
  a
• 34:06
  blow
• 34:07
  up
• 34:07
  or
• 34:07
  a
• 34:07
  fight,
• 34:08
  I
• 34:08
  go
• 34:08
  back
• 34:09
  to
• 34:09
  her
• 34:09
  and
• 34:09
  say,
• 34:09
  I
• 34:10
  love
• 34:10
  you.
• 34:10
  You
• 34:10
  know
• 34:10
  that?
• 34:11
  And
• 34:11
  she'll
• 34:12
  come
• 34:12
  back
• 34:12
  to
• 34:12
  me
• 34:12
  and
• 34:12
  say,
• 34:12
  I
• 34:13
  love
• 34:13
  you
• 34:13
  too,
• 34:13
  Mom.
• 34:13
  You
• 34:13
  know
• 34:13
  that.
• 34:14
  And
• 34:15
  we
• 34:15
  are
• 34:15
  really
• 34:16
  good.
• 34:16
  Relationship
• 34:17
  repair
• 34:17
  is
• 34:17
  incredibly
• 34:18
  important.
• 34:19
  And
• 34:20
  you
• 34:20
  can't
• 34:20
  just
• 34:20
  walk
• 34:21
  around
• 34:21
  and
• 34:21
  act
• 34:21
  like
• 34:21
  nothing
• 34:22
  happened.
• 34:23
  But
• 34:24
  you
• 34:24
  can
• 34:24
  come
• 34:24
  back
• 34:25
  and
• 34:25
  say,
• 34:26
  what
• 34:26
  will
• 34:26
  happen
• 34:27
  then?
• 34:27
  Usually
• 34:27
  is
• 34:28
  when
• 34:28
  the
• 34:28
  child
• 34:28
  is
• 34:29
  calm
• 34:29
  then,
• 34:29
  and
• 34:30
  things
• 34:30
  are
• 34:30
  better.
• 34:31
  You
• 34:31
  can
• 34:32
  use
• 34:32
  this
• 34:32
  as
• 34:32
  an
• 34:32
  educational
• 34:33
  moment.
• 34:34
  You
• 34:34
  know,
• 34:34
  you
• 34:34
  can
• 34:35
  kind
• 34:35
  of
• 34:35
  slowly
• 34:35
  and
• 34:36
  calmly
• 34:36
  say,
• 34:37
  look,
• 34:37
  I
• 34:37
  want
• 34:38
  to
• 34:38
  talk
• 34:38
  about
• 34:38
  what
• 34:38
  happened
• 34:39
  a
• 34:39
  minute
• 34:39
  ago.
• 34:40
  Right.
• 34:40
  And
• 34:40
  also
• 34:41
  informing
• 34:41
  the
• 34:42
  child
• 34:42
  about
• 34:42
  what
• 34:43
  trauma
• 34:43
  is.
• 34:43
  You
• 34:43
  know,
• 34:44
  the
• 34:44
  kids
• 34:44
  don't
• 34:44
  understand
• 34:45
  childhood
• 34:45
  trauma
• 34:45
  either.
• 34:46
  And
• 34:47
  the
• 34:47
  sooner
• 34:47
  they
• 34:47
  understand
• 34:48
  it,
• 34:48
  the
• 34:49
  better
• 34:49
  off
• 34:49
  they
• 34:49
  are.
• 34:50
  Yes.
• 34:51
  Other
• 34:51
  things
• 34:51
  that
• 34:52
  I
• 34:52
  recommend
• 34:52
  for
• 34:52
  people
• 34:53
  with
• 34:53
  a.
• 34:53
  Because
• 34:53
  I've
• 34:54
  never
• 34:54
  met
• 34:54
  a
• 34:55
  foster
• 34:55
  kid
• 34:55
  that
• 34:56
  doesn't
• 34:56
  have
• 34:56
  an
• 34:56
  ACE
• 34:56
  score
• 34:57
  over
• 34:57
  eight
• 34:57
  ever.
• 34:58
  That's
• 34:59
  never
• 34:59
  happened.
• 34:59
  I've
• 34:59
  never
• 35:00
  seen
• 35:00
  one
• 35:00
  with
• 35:01
  a
• 35:01
  lower
• 35:01
  eight.
• 35:03
  Under
• 35:03
  eight.
• 35:04
  Yeah,
• 35:04
  no,
• 35:04
  yeah.
• 35:04
  I
• 35:04
  was
• 35:05
  gonna
• 35:05
  say.
• 35:05
  Yeah,
• 35:06
  yeah.
• 35:06
  I've
• 35:06
  seen
• 35:07
  some.
• 35:07
  I
• 35:07
  mean,
• 35:07
  you
• 35:08
  might
• 35:08
  have
• 35:08
  an
• 35:08
  infant
• 35:09
  or
• 35:09
  something,
• 35:09
  but
• 35:10
  I've
• 35:10
  never
• 35:10
  seen
• 35:10
  a
• 35:11
  kid
• 35:11
  over
• 35:11
  the
• 35:11
  age
• 35:12
  of
• 35:12
  five
• 35:13
  who
• 35:13
  comes
• 35:13
  into
• 35:13
  foster
• 35:14
  care
• 35:14
  whose
• 35:14
  ACE
• 35:15
  score
• 35:15
  is
• 35:15
  not
• 35:15
  an
• 35:15
  8
• 35:16
  or
• 35:16
  higher.
• 35:16
  I
• 35:16
  mean,
• 35:17
  that's
• 35:17
  almost
• 35:17
  inevitable.
• 35:19
  So
• 35:19
  educating
• 35:19
  them
• 35:20
  about
• 35:20
  their
• 35:20
  ACE
• 35:21
  score
• 35:21
  is
• 35:22
  very
• 35:22
  helpful.
• 35:23
  And,
• 35:23
  you
• 35:23
  know,
• 35:24
  also
• 35:24
  just
• 35:24
  telling
• 35:25
  them
• 35:25
  things
• 35:25
  to
• 35:26
  take
• 35:26
  care
• 35:26
  of
• 35:26
  themselves.
• 35:27
  You
• 35:27
  know,
• 35:27
  what
• 35:28
  kind
• 35:28
  of
• 35:28
  clothes
• 35:29
  do
• 35:29
  you
• 35:29
  need
• 35:29
  to
• 35:29
  be
• 35:29
  comfortable?
• 35:30
  You
• 35:30
  know,
• 35:30
  are
• 35:31
  you
• 35:31
  not.
• 35:31
  Are
• 35:32
  your
• 35:32
  clothes
• 35:32
  scratchy?
• 35:33
  Are
• 35:33
  they
• 35:33
  itchy?
• 35:34
  Making
• 35:35
  sure
• 35:35
  they
• 35:35
  have
• 35:35
  things
• 35:36
  like
• 35:36
  clean
• 35:36
  water,
• 35:37
  access
• 35:37
  to
• 35:38
  food.
• 35:39
  I'll
• 35:39
  also
• 35:40
  add
• 35:40
  to
• 35:41
  one
• 35:41
  of
• 35:41
  the
• 35:41
  most
• 35:42
  crazy.
• 35:43
  Not
• 35:43
  crazy,
• 35:43
  but
• 35:44
  one
• 35:44
  of
• 35:44
  the
• 35:44
  most
• 35:44
  heartbreaking
• 35:45
  Stories
• 35:45
  for
• 35:45
  me.
• 35:46
  After
• 35:46
  Tanya
• 35:47
  moved
• 35:47
  in
• 35:47
  with
• 35:48
  my
• 35:48
  husband
• 35:48
  and
• 35:48
  I,
• 35:49
  one
• 35:49
  day
• 35:50
  she
• 35:50
  came
• 35:50
  downstairs
• 35:50
  and
• 35:51
  she
• 35:51
  looked
• 35:51
  weird.
• 35:51
  She
• 35:51
  had
• 35:52
  a
• 35:52
  weird
• 35:52
  look
• 35:52
  on
• 35:52
  her
• 35:52
  face.
• 35:53
  And
• 35:53
  she
• 35:53
  was
• 35:53
  like,
• 35:53
  paula?
• 35:54
  And
• 35:54
  I
• 35:54
  said,
• 35:54
  yeah.
• 35:55
  And
• 35:55
  she
• 35:56
  goes,
• 35:56
  I'm
• 35:56
  out
• 35:56
  of
• 35:56
  toilet
• 35:57
  paper
• 35:57
  upstairs.
• 35:58
  I
• 35:58
  said,
• 35:59
  oh,
• 35:59
  no
• 35:59
  big
• 35:59
  deal.
• 36:00
  So
• 36:00
  I
• 36:00
  walked
• 36:01
  to
• 36:01
  the
• 36:01
  closet
• 36:01
  where
• 36:01
  I
• 36:02
  kept
• 36:02
  the
• 36:02
  toilet
• 36:02
  paper,
• 36:02
  and
• 36:03
  I
• 36:03
  pulled
• 36:03
  a
• 36:03
  24
• 36:04
  pack
• 36:04
  of
• 36:04
  Charmin
• 36:04
  out.
• 36:05
  I
• 36:05
  was
• 36:05
  like,
• 36:05
  take
• 36:05
  that
• 36:05
  upstairs.
• 36:06
  You
• 36:06
  know,
• 36:06
  it's
• 36:06
  cool.
• 36:07
  That
• 36:07
  should
• 36:07
  last
• 36:07
  you
• 36:07
  six
• 36:08
  months
• 36:08
  or
• 36:08
  so.
• 36:09
  And
• 36:10
  she
• 36:10
  looked
• 36:10
  shocked.
• 36:12
  And
• 36:12
  I
• 36:12
  was
• 36:12
  like,
• 36:13
  what's
• 36:14
  going
• 36:14
  on
• 36:14
  here,
• 36:14
  baby?
• 36:15
  And
• 36:15
  she
• 36:15
  goes,
• 36:16
  I've
• 36:16
  never
• 36:16
  lived
• 36:17
  anywhere
• 36:17
  where
• 36:17
  we
• 36:18
  just
• 36:18
  had
• 36:18
  access
• 36:18
  to
• 36:19
  toilet
• 36:19
  paper.
• 36:20
  Yeah.
• 36:21
  And
• 36:21
  I
• 36:21
  said,
• 36:21
  what
• 36:21
  do
• 36:22
  you
• 36:22
  mean?
• 36:22
  She
• 36:22
  said,
• 36:23
  well,
• 36:23
  in
• 36:23
  my
• 36:23
  house,
• 36:24
  we
• 36:25
  would
• 36:25
  always
• 36:25
  run
• 36:26
  out
• 36:26
  of
• 36:26
  it.
• 36:26
  Like,
• 36:26
  our
• 36:27
  food
• 36:27
  stamp
• 36:27
  money
• 36:27
  would
• 36:27
  run
• 36:28
  out,
• 36:28
  or
• 36:28
  my
• 36:28
  mom
• 36:28
  would
• 36:28
  sell
• 36:29
  our
• 36:29
  food
• 36:29
  stamps
• 36:29
  for
• 36:30
  something
• 36:30
  and
• 36:31
  we
• 36:31
  wouldn't
• 36:31
  have
• 36:31
  enough
• 36:32
  toilet
• 36:32
  paper.
• 36:32
  And
• 36:32
  I
• 36:32
  was
• 36:32
  like,
• 36:33
  what
• 36:33
  did
• 36:33
  you
• 36:33
  do?
• 36:33
  She
• 36:34
  said,
• 36:34
  we
• 36:34
  just
• 36:34
  used
• 36:34
  rags
• 36:36
  until
• 36:36
  the
• 36:36
  end
• 36:36
  of
• 36:36
  the
• 36:37
  month.
• 36:38
  And
• 36:38
  like,
• 36:38
  that
• 36:38
  is
• 36:38
  how
• 36:39
  many
• 36:39
  of
• 36:39
  these
• 36:39
  children
• 36:40
  live.
• 36:41
  Yeah.
• 36:42
  Yeah.
• 36:43
  I
• 36:43
  mean,
• 36:43
  absolutely.
• 36:44
  And
• 36:44
  so
• 36:45
  it's
• 36:45
  the
• 36:45
  small
• 36:45
  things,
• 36:46
  like,
• 36:46
  it's.
• 36:46
  It's
• 36:47
  the
• 36:47
  little
• 36:47
  itty
• 36:47
  bitty
• 36:47
  things
• 36:48
  that
• 36:48
  we
• 36:48
  take
• 36:48
  for
• 36:49
  granted
• 36:50
  that
• 36:50
  is
• 36:50
  huge
• 36:51
  to
• 36:51
  them.
• 36:51
  And
• 36:51
  that's
• 36:52
  why
• 36:52
  those
• 36:52
  small
• 36:52
  little
• 36:53
  gestures
• 36:53
  and
• 36:53
  that.
• 36:54
  Like,
• 36:54
  that,
• 36:54
  like
• 36:54
  handing
• 36:55
  her
• 36:55
  a
• 36:55
  pack
• 36:55
  of
• 36:55
  toilet
• 36:55
  paper,
• 36:56
  she's
• 36:56
  probably
• 36:56
  like,
• 36:56
  holy
• 36:57
  crap,
• 36:58
  this
• 36:58
  is
• 36:59
  amazing.
• 37:00
  Like,
• 37:00
  I
• 37:00
  don't
• 37:01
  get
• 37:01
  that.
• 37:02
  Yeah,
• 37:02
  that's.
• 37:04
  I've
• 37:04
  also
• 37:04
  had.
• 37:05
  Not.
• 37:05
  Not
• 37:06
  her,
• 37:06
  but
• 37:06
  I've
• 37:06
  also
• 37:06
  had
• 37:07
  foster
• 37:07
  children
• 37:07
  say
• 37:08
  things
• 37:09
  like,
• 37:09
  this
• 37:09
  is
• 37:09
  the
• 37:10
  first
• 37:10
  time
• 37:10
  I've
• 37:10
  had
• 37:10
  a
• 37:10
  bed,
• 37:11
  not
• 37:12
  a
• 37:12
  bedroom.
• 37:13
  This
• 37:13
  is
• 37:13
  the
• 37:14
  first
• 37:14
  time
• 37:14
  I've
• 37:14
  had
• 37:14
  a
• 37:15
  bed
• 37:15
  because
• 37:16
  I've
• 37:16
  always
• 37:16
  slept
• 37:17
  in,
• 37:17
  like,
• 37:17
  a
• 37:17
  drawer
• 37:18
  or
• 37:18
  on
• 37:18
  the
• 37:19
  couch
• 37:19
  or
• 37:19
  on
• 37:19
  a
• 37:20
  floor.
• 37:21
  So
• 37:21
  for
• 37:21
  many
• 37:21
  of
• 37:22
  these
• 37:22
  kids,
• 37:22
  the
• 37:23
  things
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  we
• 37:24
  take
• 37:24
  for
• 37:24
  granted,
• 37:25
  like
• 37:25
  the
• 37:25
  basic
• 37:26
  first
• 37:27
  level,
• 37:27
  Maslow's
• 37:28
  hierarchy
• 37:28
  of
• 37:29
  needs,
• 37:29
  these
• 37:30
  kids
• 37:30
  do
• 37:30
  not
• 37:31
  have
• 37:31
  them.
• 37:33
  And
• 37:33
  that
• 37:33
  is
• 37:33
  why
• 37:34
  it's
• 37:34
  so
• 37:34
  dangerous
• 37:35
  to
• 37:35
  send
• 37:35
  them
• 37:35
  out
• 37:36
  into
• 37:36
  the
• 37:36
  world.
• 37:36
  Because
• 37:37
  that
• 37:38
  is
• 37:38
  why
• 37:38
  they
• 37:38
  become
• 37:39
  victimized.
• 37:40
  Because
• 37:41
  if
• 37:41
  you
• 37:41
  have
• 37:42
  these
• 37:42
  four
• 37:42
  basic
• 37:43
  needs
• 37:43
  and
• 37:43
  your
• 37:44
  abductor
• 37:45
  gives
• 37:45
  you
• 37:45
  one
• 37:46
  of
• 37:46
  them,
• 37:46
  he
• 37:46
  is
• 37:46
  now
• 37:46
  the
• 37:47
  hero.
• 37:47
  And
• 37:48
  I.
• 37:48
  I
• 37:49
  tell
• 37:49
  people
• 37:49
  that
• 37:49
  all
• 37:49
  the
• 37:49
  time.
• 37:50
  They're
• 37:50
  like,
• 37:50
  why
• 37:50
  would
• 37:50
  they.
• 37:51
  Why
• 37:51
  would
• 37:51
  they
• 37:52
  do
• 37:52
  that?
• 37:52
  Why
• 37:52
  would
• 37:52
  they
• 37:53
  not
• 37:53
  turn
• 37:53
  that
• 37:53
  guy
• 37:54
  in?
• 37:54
  I'm
• 37:54
  like,
• 37:54
  because
• 37:54
  he
• 37:55
  is
• 37:55
  providing
• 37:56
  basic
• 37:57
  needs.
• 37:57
  It
• 37:57
  doesn't
• 37:57
  matter.
• 37:58
  All
• 37:58
  the
• 37:58
  other
• 37:58
  stuff.
• 37:59
  Right.
• 37:59
  When
• 38:00
  your
• 38:00
  boyfriend
• 38:00
  is
• 38:00
  paying
• 38:01
  the
• 38:01
  power
• 38:01
  bill.
• 38:02
  Yeah.
• 38:04
  Yep.
• 38:05
  You
• 38:05
  think.
• 38:05
  You
• 38:05
  think
• 38:06
  he's
• 38:06
  your
• 38:06
  boyfriend
• 38:07
  and
• 38:07
  you
• 38:07
  don't
• 38:08
  register
• 38:08
  that
• 38:08
  he's
• 38:09
  a
• 38:09
  total
• 38:09
  predator.
• 38:10
  Yeah.
• 38:10
  That
• 38:11
  Never
• 38:11
  crosses
• 38:12
  these
• 38:12
  kids
• 38:12
  minds.
• 38:13
  No,
• 38:14
  that's
• 38:14
  why,
• 38:14
  you
• 38:15
  know,
• 38:15
  that
• 38:15
  is,
• 38:15
  it's.
• 38:16
  That's
• 38:16
  how
• 38:17
  it
• 38:17
  happens.
• 38:17
  I
• 38:17
  mean,
• 38:18
  a
• 38:18
  lot
• 38:18
  of
• 38:18
  times,
• 38:18
  obviously
• 38:19
  that's
• 38:19
  not
• 38:19
  the
• 38:19
  only
• 38:19
  way
• 38:19
  it
• 38:20
  happens.
• 38:20
  But
• 38:20
  yeah,
• 38:21
  no,
• 38:21
  it's
• 38:22
  completely.
• 38:22
  It's
• 38:23
  so
• 38:23
  easy
• 38:23
  to
• 38:23
  understand.
• 38:24
  I
• 38:24
  remember,
• 38:25
  and
• 38:25
  even
• 38:25
  the
• 38:25
  bed
• 38:26
  thing,
• 38:26
  that
• 38:26
  just
• 38:26
  strikes
• 38:27
  a
• 38:27
  nerve
• 38:27
  with
• 38:27
  me
• 38:27
  because
• 38:28
  I
• 38:28
  remember
• 38:28
  one
• 38:28
  time
• 38:28
  I
• 38:29
  had
• 38:29
  a
• 38:29
  student
• 38:30
  and
• 38:30
  she
• 38:31
  came
• 38:31
  in
• 38:31
  crying
• 38:31
  one
• 38:32
  day
• 38:32
  to
• 38:32
  school.
• 38:32
  I
• 38:32
  was
• 38:32
  teaching
• 38:33
  at
• 38:33
  a
• 38:33
  Head
• 38:33
  Start
• 38:34
  preschool
• 38:34
  and
• 38:34
  she
• 38:35
  said
• 38:35
  to
• 38:35
  me,
• 38:36
  she
• 38:36
  was
• 38:36
  crying
• 38:37
  because
• 38:37
  her
• 38:37
  grandma
• 38:38
  sold
• 38:38
  her
• 38:38
  bed.
• 38:39
  And
• 38:39
  I
• 38:39
  said,
• 38:40
  it's
• 38:40
  okay.
• 38:40
  I
• 38:40
  said,
• 38:41
  just,
• 38:41
  I'll
• 38:41
  get
• 38:41
  you
• 38:41
  some
• 38:42
  blankets
• 38:42
  and
• 38:42
  a
• 38:42
  pillow
• 38:43
  and
• 38:43
  we'll
• 38:43
  wrap
• 38:43
  up
• 38:44
  and
• 38:44
  you
• 38:44
  just
• 38:44
  sleep,
• 38:44
  you
• 38:44
  know.
• 38:45
  And
• 38:45
  she
• 38:45
  goes,
• 38:46
  no,
• 38:46
  you
• 38:46
  don't
• 38:46
  get
• 38:46
  she.
• 38:47
  Or
• 38:47
  no,
• 38:47
  sold.
• 38:48
  Didn't
• 38:48
  sell
• 38:48
  her
• 38:48
  bed,
• 38:49
  sold
• 38:49
  her
• 38:49
  treadmill.
• 38:50
  That's
• 38:50
  what
• 38:50
  it
• 38:50
  was.
• 38:51
  And
• 38:51
  I'm
• 38:51
  thinking,
• 38:52
  what?
• 38:52
  It's
• 38:52
  okay,
• 38:53
  baby.
• 38:53
  Like,
• 38:53
  you're
• 38:53
  in,
• 38:54
  you're
• 38:54
  fit,
• 38:54
  you're
• 38:55
  good.
• 38:55
  And
• 38:56
  I
• 38:56
  said,
• 38:56
  just
• 38:56
  get
• 38:56
  a
• 38:56
  blanket
• 38:57
  and
• 38:57
  the
• 38:57
  pillow.
• 38:58
  I
• 38:58
  said,
• 38:58
  do
• 38:58
  you
• 38:58
  have
• 38:58
  one
• 38:58
  of
• 38:59
  those?
• 38:59
  And
• 38:59
  she
• 38:59
  said,
• 38:59
  yes.
• 38:59
  And
• 39:00
  I
• 39:00
  said,
• 39:00
  if
• 39:00
  not,
• 39:00
  I'll
• 39:00
  give
• 39:01
  you
• 39:01
  one.
• 39:02
  And
• 39:02
  then
• 39:02
  I
• 39:02
  said,
• 39:02
  just
• 39:03
  wrap
• 39:03
  up,
• 39:03
  you
• 39:04
  know,
• 39:04
  and
• 39:04
  just
• 39:04
  sleep
• 39:04
  in
• 39:05
  a
• 39:05
  little
• 39:05
  corner.
• 39:05
  And
• 39:05
  she
• 39:05
  goes,
• 39:05
  I
• 39:06
  can't,
• 39:06
  because
• 39:06
  when
• 39:06
  I
• 39:06
  sleep
• 39:07
  on
• 39:07
  the
• 39:07
  floor
• 39:07
  and
• 39:07
  not
• 39:08
  on
• 39:08
  the
• 39:08
  treadmill,
• 39:08
  the
• 39:09
  bugs
• 39:09
  crawl
• 39:09
  on
• 39:09
  me.
• 39:10
  And
• 39:10
  it
• 39:10
  just
• 39:11
  broke
• 39:11
  my
• 39:11
  heart.
• 39:12
  I
• 39:12
  was
• 39:12
  like,
• 39:12
  oh,
• 39:12
  gosh,
• 39:13
  this
• 39:13
  is
• 39:13
  not
• 39:13
  good.
• 39:14
  No,
• 39:15
  not
• 39:15
  at
• 39:16
  all.
• 39:17
  Not
• 39:17
  at
• 39:17
  all.
• 39:17
  And
• 39:18
  that
• 39:18
  goes
• 39:18
  back
• 39:18
  to
• 39:18
  my
• 39:19
  earlier
• 39:19
  how
• 39:19
  we
• 39:20
  started
• 39:20
  this
• 39:20
  whole
• 39:21
  conversation,
• 39:22
  which
• 39:22
  is
• 39:23
  many
• 39:24
  of
• 39:24
  these
• 39:24
  children
• 39:25
  are
• 39:25
  in
• 39:25
  environments
• 39:26
  where
• 39:26
  the
• 39:26
  people
• 39:27
  who
• 39:27
  are
• 39:27
  supposed
• 39:27
  to
• 39:28
  be
• 39:28
  caring
• 39:28
  for
• 39:28
  them
• 39:29
  are
• 39:29
  ill
• 39:29
  equipped
• 39:30
  to
• 39:30
  be
• 39:30
  able
• 39:30
  to
• 39:31
  do
• 39:31
  it.
• 39:32
  Yes.
• 39:33
  Like
• 39:33
  your
• 39:33
  house
• 39:34
  should
• 39:34
  not
• 39:34
  be
• 39:34
  so
• 39:35
  dirty
• 39:35
  that
• 39:35
  you
• 39:35
  can't.
• 39:36
  Well,
• 39:36
  you
• 39:36
  shouldn't
• 39:37
  have
• 39:37
  to
• 39:37
  sleep
• 39:37
  in
• 39:37
  the
• 39:37
  corner
• 39:38
  as
• 39:38
  a
• 39:38
  human
• 39:38
  being,
• 39:39
  period.
• 39:40
  But
• 39:40
  if
• 39:40
  you're
• 39:40
  going
• 39:40
  to
• 39:41
  sleep
• 39:41
  in
• 39:41
  the
• 39:41
  corner,
• 39:41
  it
• 39:42
  shouldn't
• 39:42
  be
• 39:42
  the
• 39:42
  place
• 39:42
  where
• 39:43
  the
• 39:43
  bugs
• 39:43
  congregate.
• 39:45
  Right,
• 39:45
  Exactly.
• 39:46
  I
• 39:46
  mean,
• 39:46
  yeah.
• 39:46
  No,
• 39:47
  I
• 39:47
  mean,
• 39:47
  it's
• 39:47
  just,
• 39:47
  it's
• 39:48
  unfortunate,
• 39:48
  unfortunately.
• 39:49
  It
• 39:49
  happens.
• 39:50
  We
• 39:50
  love
• 39:50
  that
• 39:50
  we
• 39:51
  have
• 39:51
  people
• 39:51
  like
• 39:51
  you
• 39:52
  that
• 39:52
  are
• 39:52
  out
• 39:53
  there
• 39:53
  advocating
• 39:53
  and
• 39:54
  talking
• 39:54
  and
• 39:55
  helping
• 39:55
  people
• 39:55
  along
• 39:56
  the
• 39:56
  way.
• 39:57
  And
• 39:57
  it
• 39:57
  helps
• 39:58
  that
• 39:58
  you
• 39:58
  have
• 39:58
  the
• 39:58
  law
• 39:59
  behind
• 39:59
  you,
• 39:59
  like
• 40:00
  you
• 40:00
  have
• 40:00
  that
• 40:00
  knowledge,
• 40:01
  so
• 40:01
  you
• 40:01
  know
• 40:02
  what
• 40:02
  the
• 40:03
  laws
• 40:03
  are
• 40:03
  and
• 40:03
  what
• 40:03
  the
• 40:04
  rules
• 40:04
  are.
• 40:04
  And
• 40:05
  you
• 40:05
  obviously
• 40:06
  can
• 40:06
  help
• 40:06
  a
• 40:06
  lot
• 40:06
  of
• 40:06
  people.
• 40:07
  And
• 40:07
  I
• 40:07
  love
• 40:07
  that.
• 40:08
  I
• 40:08
  love
• 40:08
  that.
• 40:09
  Well,
• 40:10
  I
• 40:10
  try.
• 40:10
  But
• 40:11
  let's
• 40:11
  add
• 40:11
  that
• 40:11
  all
• 40:12
  lawyers
• 40:12
  are
• 40:12
  not
• 40:12
  the
• 40:13
  best
• 40:13
  at
• 40:13
  this
• 40:13
  either.
• 40:14
  No,
• 40:15
  no,
• 40:15
  no.
• 40:15
  That'
• 40:16
  I'm
• 40:16
  saying
• 40:16
  you
• 40:17
  in
• 40:17
  particular,
• 40:18
  like,.
• 40:18
  Thank
• 40:18
  you,
• 40:19
  Tammy,
• 40:19
  that's.
• 40:20
  I'm
• 40:20
  giving
• 40:20
  you
• 40:21
  A
• 40:21
  shout
• 40:21
  out.
• 40:21
  No,
• 40:21
  absolutely.
• 40:22
  I
• 40:22
  understand
• 40:23
  that
• 40:23
  100%.
• 40:25
  But.
• 40:26
  But
• 40:26
  everybody
• 40:26
  needs
• 40:26
  an
• 40:27
  advocate.
• 40:27
  But
• 40:29
  Paul,
• 40:29
  I
• 40:29
  could
• 40:29
  literally
• 40:30
  talk
• 40:30
  to
• 40:30
  you
• 40:30
  for.
• 40:31
  Absolutely
• 40:31
  ever.
• 40:32
  But
• 40:32
  if
• 40:32
  somebody
• 40:33
  wants
• 40:33
  to
• 40:34
  work
• 40:34
  with
• 40:34
  you,
• 40:34
  find
• 40:35
  out
• 40:35
  more,
• 40:35
  just
• 40:36
  ask
• 40:36
  questions.
• 40:37
  I
• 40:37
  know
• 40:37
  you
• 40:37
  just
• 40:38
  have
• 40:38
  a
• 40:38
  book
• 40:38
  that
• 40:39
  just
• 40:39
  came
• 40:39
  out.
• 40:40
  Yeah.
• 40:40
  And
• 40:41
  by
• 40:41
  the
• 40:41
  time
• 40:42
  this
• 40:42
  airs
• 40:42
  in
• 40:42
  a
• 40:42
  couple
• 40:43
  weeks
• 40:43
  or
• 40:43
  whatever,
• 40:44
  the
• 40:44
  book
• 40:44
  is
• 40:44
  out
• 40:45
  there.
• 40:45
  Yeah,
• 40:46
  actually
• 40:47
  it's
• 40:47
  out
• 40:47
  on
• 40:47
  Amazon
• 40:48
  today,
• 40:49
  so.
• 40:50
  Okay,
• 40:50
  it's
• 40:51
  out.
• 40:51
  But
• 40:51
  I
• 40:51
  have
• 40:52
  a
• 40:52
  bunch
• 40:52
  of
• 40:52
  reels
• 40:53
  that
• 40:53
  I've
• 40:53
  been
• 40:53
  trying
• 40:53
  to
• 40:53
  make
• 40:54
  on
• 40:54
  my
• 40:54
  Instagram
• 40:54
  and
• 40:55
  Facebook
• 40:55
  page,
• 40:55
  which
• 40:56
  is
• 40:56
  Paula
• 40:56
  J.
• 40:56
  Yost,
• 40:57
  author.
• 40:58
  And
• 40:58
  it
• 40:58
  just
• 40:59
  has
• 40:59
  little
• 40:59
  nuggets
• 41:00
  of
• 41:00
  things
• 41:00
  that
• 41:00
  I've
• 41:00
  been
• 41:01
  trying
• 41:01
  to
• 41:01
  say
• 41:01
  to
• 41:02
  help
• 41:02
  folks
• 41:02
  that
• 41:03
  I've
• 41:03
  learned
• 41:03
  in
• 41:04
  years
• 41:04
  and
• 41:04
  years
• 41:04
  of
• 41:05
  child
• 41:05
  advocacy.
• 41:06
  Okay,
• 41:06
  well,
• 41:07
  we
• 41:07
  will
• 41:07
  put
• 41:07
  all
• 41:07
  of
• 41:08
  that
• 41:08
  on
• 41:08
  the
• 41:08
  show
• 41:09
  notes.
• 41:09
  I'll
• 41:09
  put
• 41:09
  your
• 41:10
  Instagram,
• 41:10
  I'll
• 41:10
  put
• 41:10
  whatever
• 41:11
  you
• 41:11
  want
• 41:11
  on
• 41:11
  there
• 41:11
  because
• 41:12
  people
• 41:12
  need
• 41:12
  to
• 41:12
  reach
• 41:13
  out
• 41:13
  and
• 41:13
  they
• 41:13
  will.
• 41:13
  Even
• 41:13
  if
• 41:14
  they
• 41:14
  don't
• 41:15
  talk
• 41:15
  to
• 41:15
  you,
• 41:15
  even
• 41:15
  if
• 41:15
  they
• 41:16
  just
• 41:16
  hear
• 41:16
  what
• 41:16
  you
• 41:16
  have
• 41:16
  to
• 41:17
  say.
• 41:17
  You're
• 41:18
  a
• 41:18
  wealth
• 41:18
  of
• 41:18
  knowledge.
• 41:19
  So
• 41:19
  thank
• 41:19
  you.
• 41:20
  Yes,
• 41:20
  thank
• 41:20
  you.
• 41:21
  And
• 41:21
  if
• 41:22
  you
• 41:22
  could
• 41:22
  give
• 41:22
  the
• 41:22
  listeners
• 41:23
  one
• 41:23
  last
• 41:25
  words
• 41:25
  of
• 41:25
  wisdom
• 41:26
  from
• 41:26
  Paula
• 41:26
  Yost,
• 41:27
  what
• 41:27
  would
• 41:27
  it
• 41:27
  be?
• 41:28
  Just
• 41:29
  that
• 41:29
  there's
• 41:29
  hope.
• 41:30
  There's
• 41:30
  always
• 41:30
  hope.
• 41:31
  But
• 41:31
  you've
• 41:32
  got
• 41:32
  to
• 41:32
  be
• 41:32
  able
• 41:32
  to
• 41:32
  instill
• 41:33
  the
• 41:33
  hope.
• 41:34
  Absolutely.
• 41:36
  Like
• 41:36
  I
• 41:36
  said,
• 41:36
  that's.
• 41:37
  That's
• 41:37
  beautifully
• 41:38
  said.
• 41:38
  And
• 41:39
  again,
• 41:39
  thank
• 41:40
  you
• 41:40
  so
• 41:40
  much
• 41:40
  for
• 41:40
  coming
• 41:41
  out
• 41:41
  and
• 41:42
  everybody
• 41:42
  else
• 41:43
  out
• 41:43
  there
• 41:43
  listening.
• 41:43
  Be
• 41:44
  that
• 41:44
  person.
• 41:44
  Be
• 41:45
  that
• 41:45
  person
• 41:46
  for
• 41:46
  one
• 41:46
  person
• 41:47
  in
• 41:47
  your
• 41:47
  life
• 41:48
  if
• 41:48
  you
• 41:48
  can
• 41:48
  possibly
• 41:49
  do
• 41:49
  it.
• 41:49
  You
• 41:49
  never
• 41:49
  know
• 41:50
  what
• 41:50
  it.
• 41:50
  What
• 41:51
  just
• 41:51
  adding
• 41:51
  a
• 41:52
  smile
• 41:52
  or,
• 41:53
  you
• 41:53
  know,
• 41:54
  lending
• 41:54
  a
• 41:54
  hand
• 41:55
  or
• 41:55
  instead
• 41:55
  of
• 41:56
  asking
• 41:56
  people
• 41:56
  what's
• 41:57
  wrong
• 41:57
  with
• 41:57
  them,
• 41:57
  ask
• 41:58
  them
• 41:58
  what
• 41:58
  you
• 41:58
  can
• 41:58
  do
• 41:58
  for
• 41:59
  them.
• 41:59
  Or
• 41:59
  you
• 42:00
  just
• 42:00
  look
• 42:01
  at
• 42:01
  it
• 42:01
  and
• 42:01
  assume
• 42:02
  that
• 42:02
  not
• 42:02
  everybody
• 42:03
  has
• 42:03
  a
• 42:03
  perfect
• 42:04
  life
• 42:04
  and
• 42:04
  be
• 42:04
  that
• 42:05
  friend.
• 42:05
  The
• 42:06
  world
• 42:06
  would
• 42:06
  be
• 42:06
  a
• 42:06
  better
• 42:07
  place.
• 42:08
  And
• 42:09
  you
• 42:09
  all
• 42:09
  come
• 42:09
  back
• 42:10
  next
• 42:10
  week.
• 42:10
  Thank
• 42:10
  you.
• 42:11
  Thanks.