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The Difference Between Suppression and Removal of a Vital Reaction, Part 2 · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  Most people simply live their lives and carry out whatever
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  feeling, mood or impetus may be impacting them at the moment.
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  They become that movement, whether it is happiness and joy,
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  hunger, anger, annoy, fatigue or some concentrated state of mind,
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  etcetera. Their awareness, their conscious
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  existence, is totally wrapped up in those movements of energy, in
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  their being. Few are those who feel a degree
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  of separation such that they can actually observe these changes
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  of moods with conscious awareness and recognize the
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  causal links, the situational causes and their reactions.
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  The spiritual aspirant, as he advances in the yogic process,
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  begins to achieve this observational separateness, and
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  as he does so, he begins to develop the ability to recognize
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  patterns, antecedents to specific responses and
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  reactions, and thereby to both anticipate and respond more
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  definitively and consciously to whatever energetic mood comes
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  upon him. He may still experience all of
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  the same things, but he has at least a part of his being that
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  is not totally involved and which can begin to exert its
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  influence and its focus to change the result over time,
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  whether to overcome a particular habit or pattern or to redirect
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  the energy and attention in the direction of the spiritual
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  quest. Of particular value is the
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  tuning of the consciousness to the spiritual force and opening
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  up the being to its action and influence.
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  This is the power that can offset all the small negative
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  actions that take place as part of the normal human life.
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  The mother writes quote, but one must first be clear and sincere
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  enough to see the conflict within oneself.
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  Usually one doesn't pay any attention to these things.
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  One goes from 1 extreme to the other.
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  You see, you can say, to put it in a very simple words, one day
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  I am good, the next day I am bad.
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  And this seems quite natural. Or even sometimes for one hour
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  you are good, and the next hour you are wicked.
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  Or else sometimes the whole day through 1 is good, and suddenly
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  one becomes wicked for a minute, very wicked, all the more wicked
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  as one was good. Only one doesn't observe it.
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  Thoughts cross one's mind, Violent, bad, hateful things
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  like that. Usually one pays no attention to
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  it, but this is what must be caught.
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  As soon as it manifests, you must catch it like this.
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  Mother makes a movement with a very firm grip, and then hold
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  it, hold it up to the light and say no, I don't want you, I
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  don't want you. I have nothing to do with this.
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  You are going to get out of here and you won't return after a
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  silence. And this is something, an
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  experience that one can have daily, or almost.
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  When one has those movements of great enthusiasm, great
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  aspiration, when one suddenly becomes conscious of the divine
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  goal, the urge towards the divine, the desire to take part
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  in the divine work. When one comes out of oneself in
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  a great joy and great force. And then a few hours later one
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  is miserable for a tiny little thing one indulges in, so petty,
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  so narrow, so commonplace. A self interestedness has such a
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  dull desire and all the rest has evaporated as if it did not
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  exist. One is quite accustomed to
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  contradictions. 1 doesn't pay attention to this.
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  And that is why all these things live comfortably together as
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  neighbors. One must first discover them and
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  prevent them from intermingling in one's consciousness.
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  Decide between them. Separate the shadow from the
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  light. Later one can get rid of the
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  shadow. End Quote.
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  Reference Shriyuro Bindu and the Mother Looking from Within,
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  Chapter 4, Ordeals and Difficulties, pages 85 to 86.