Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / What Started It All with Lyndsay Soprano
Transcript
- Lyndsay Soprano (00:02.754) This was an incredibly difficult episode for me to put together. This is the last episode of season three, and it took me about 30 outlines and notes and going through episodes and thinking about how I wanted to put this whole thing together. And so here I am, it's Friday night, it's late, I'm tired, I'm wrecked. been a long haul. feel like it's the end of the year. Oh, it is the end of the year. And we're pooped. All of us were exhausted from all of our lives. We're exhausted from politics. We're exhausted from our health, our well-being, all of it. And I'm here today to close season three, which is absolutely nuts. And I'm just going to get right into it because I don't even know how to open it other than how I just did it. So in 1987, We're taking it back in 1987. I was sexually assaulted by an uncle at my grandma's house In 1992 I was raped in a park at a girlfriend's birthday party Lyndsay Soprano (01:16.206) In 1994, I was attacked, chased, and beaten by my boyfriend. In 1995, I was sexually assaulted by a youth pastor at my church along with many other girls. In 1997, I was raped multiple times by multiple people in a fraternity house. And in my last marriage, it was riddled with many forms of abuse. And in the years that were intertwined, and those that followed my sexual promiscuity, alcohol and drug abuse, rebellion, self-worth, all of it was kind of dead and alive, like simultaneously, you know? And it wasn't until I started the Pain Game podcast, this beautiful show of mine here, that I was able to start to not only face what I remembered happening to me, but to pull from the depths of my soul and my subconscious What started it all? Like, where did it all kind of go awry when it comes to my health and well-being and pain and illness and all of that from a timeline therapy perspective? And I wasn't quite sure what did in fact start it all until this past September of 2025 on a cruise ship in Greece. So I have tried ketamine therapy. I think it was in season one, maybe the... the end of season one and the beginning of season two, I had started ketamine. was kind of a, it didn't end up working out for me the way in which I went through that particular type of therapy with ketamine. And so I started ketamine therapy again this year with a different lens, with a different view, a couple of years later. And my initial reason for wanting to start ketamine was because of my pain, right? But then what I ended up finding out was that it was insanely helpful. for my debilitating anxiety and everybody that knows me and everybody that listens to this show knows that I am an anxious mofo. High anxiety means higher pain and manage the anxiety, manage the pain, right? But what I didn't expect to find out on the ketamine journey was what happened to me when I was nine years old once and for all. Lyndsay Soprano (03:31.724) Up until this past September, I only had foggy memories of kind of sort of what happened in a back room of my grandma's house, but I knew something inherently terribly, awfully bad happened to me. And it turns out that my ground zero was when I was nine. And it was at nine years old that my insomnia began. We talk about my insomnia all the time on this show. When I was a little girl, I stopped sleeping when I was nine. la la, right? My OCD tendencies. began to develop swiftly at the age of nine. Looking back, right? So trying to have some sense of control to what I already felt like a life unraveling in front of me at such a young age, but my little brain not being able to comprehend why it was unraveling. So I decided to control my environment. And only now I'm able to recall that's why, that's why, that's why, right? And that's what started it all. And that is a pretty heavy line, what started it all, right? But I am looking back going, it started when I was nine. So anyway, so this past September, my sweetie and I were on a Virgin cruise. I do not recommend it, but that's for a different show. I had my ketamine with me. I had to have a letter from my doctor and all of this baloney so that I could travel with it. And I followed my clinician's protocol just like I'm supposed to, like a good girl. And I went on my scheduled journey and holy shit. You know, this is the only way that I can put this into like a visual for people, because I'm super visual, right? You know those old slide like carousels when we were kids? The circle things and we had the little white cardboard slides in it and each slide was like a cardboard square of one memory in time. And you'd hear the sound of your dad or your mom like hitting the little trigger button and it like made that sound to change it to the next sound slide. That was how this journey was displayed for my mind's eye. So it didn't provide me any time to really process it one slide at a time, like where you can sit back and look and go, look at you blowing bubbles and look at you eating mud. Whatever, I ate mud as a kid. Don't even ask me why. Lyndsay Soprano (05:57.73) But so you're looking through all these things, but it was like buckle up, pay attention, cause we don't know where the hell this is going. And right before my eyes, all of the trauma that my body, mind and spirit had experienced like over my entire lifetime showed itself in what felt like 30 seconds. It was a lot. It was fast. It was soul shattering. It was dark and loud. I was sobbing. I was crying. I was laughing. I was all of these things. but it was also incredibly beautiful because I now, in such a short span of time, had so many answers to so many unanswered questions and vague interpretations from a lifetime of feeling alone and all of it, that it was beautiful for me. And I think that's more along the way, I think that's more along the reason why I was crying as much as I was, more like a weeping, like my soul weeping. And that is what started this all, right? So as a little girl and into high school, I used to lay my outfits out for the entire week in my bedroom, because of course, OCD tendencies, and this is just one of the many ridiculous things that I did. But one of the things that I got from this journey, I laid out, this wasn't actually part of the journey, this is just what I used to do. I laid out all my outfits for the week, Monday through Friday, I had printed out papers with the days of the week on them, and I had a backup outfit behind them. just in case I changed my mind. And what's so interesting and to the little girls that are listening, the little girls inside of us, remember how we had like panties of the day? Like we had Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, like panties, right? You can see them in Target for girls today, right? Well, for me, that was something that came into this vision. One of those vivid memories was a pair of one day of the week panties. on the ground next to me in a cigarette smoke-filled room. I was outside of myself, hovering above myself, watching. I was like, I was all alone. God, this is so sad. Jesus God, it is sad. This is so sad, but it's so wonderful at the same time, So I was all alone in those moments, right? But we are not alone, not in any of it. We all have our days. Lyndsay Soprano (08:20.482) where we feel alone in your life. I feel 100 % alone in my life here and there. We all do. I even if you're snuggling with your loved ones, you got your puppies on your lap, you've got your cocktail, you've got your hotty toddy, whatever is you're doing, you can still feel alone even when you're in a sea of people. And living in any kind of pain, any kind of pain, chronic illness, it's a very lonely place. But here, my little VIPs, we are not alone and we are here to help support you and each other here. on this show. So, I was much longer opener than I thought I was gonna do here. But anyway, so today we are closing season three and holy fucking unbelievably amazing what a season this was. Not only did I learn about the days of the week of my panties from my past, but I got to have the most amazing conversations. Every guest, every conversation, every love note from you guys before, during, after each episode has changed me. You have changed me, guests, listeners, all of you. And there isn't one episode or guest that I loved more than another, but we certainly have covered it all. And I wish I could talk about each episode and each guest from this season, and I can't, but it's your job to go and listen to all of them if you missed a couple. And it's okay if you did. But get your butt back in gear and start listening to the rest of season three if you haven't. And after three seasons doing this thing, I am more blessed to have these amazing souls on this journey of what life throws at us here right now, right here together. So one thing that we cover here on the show is the frustration of getting diagnosed. I'm gonna get into the meat of this thing now finally. Get there, Lindsay. It's the frustrating of getting diagnosed or better yet getting misdiagnosed. I feel like most of us have been misdiagnosed until we finally are like, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've got a diagnosis, right? Well, in the episode, diagnosis detects. I spoke with Angel Parker. She is from the Netflix documentary Diagnosis where dr. Lisa Sanders crowd-sourced Diagnoses for mysterious and rare medical conditions super interesting. It's not just about angel There's multiple people that she helped at New York Time magazine She worked to help angel get diagnosed after so many years of living in pain and a fluctuation as you guys know, love to see Lyndsay Soprano (10:44.66) in trying to find this diagnosis and she got one. But what happens with diagnoses is we aren't unscathed after we get them, right? Now it's just a different road we're on. And do we fully trust this road? Do I have new doctors? Are they not gonna believe me? I mean, now we're like, great, now I've got this, now I've got all of this that I've gotta do. And it can lead to dark and twisty stuff and it can learn to happy sunny stuff. But now it's that new road, right? But one of the 300 billion things that I have learned about chronic illness and pain management is that each of us suffers and struggles and communicates differently about their pain. And when we hit the absolute wall with our condition or pain, and there's no judgment here, because everybody's pain threshold is different, everybody experiences it experience it differently. We just can't take it anymore, right? What do we do? Where do we go? What are we supposed to do? We're sobbing, we're crying, we don't wanna do this, we can't do that, we don't have this, we're out of this refill, all of those things. What do we do? Here in the States, we call 911. That's part of our healthcare system, but that's also for another show. But it might be an emergency in our heads, guys, right? And certainly in our bodies. And I have gone through this, I'm 100 % like, this is it. I can't possibly take this pain anymore. I need help on a 911 level. So I have this guest, Dr. Jim Keeney. He was in the episode called Outside of the Prescription Pad. He is an emergency room doctor. And the main takeaway that I took from this episode and our friendship as well now is knowing the role of the emergency room is super interesting to listen to him talk about it. And he's also got a very sexy voice, so he's lovely to listen to. It is 100 % there. The emergency room is to make sure that you do not die. That's it. It isn't there to even help heal you. It's not even there to diagnose you. It's there to keep you living and then move on to the next guy because that is what emergency medicine is for. I can only speak to this here in the United States of America, even though I've been in the emergency room. Lyndsay Soprano (12:59.254) and in the hospital in Palermo, Sicily, but that is also for another show. And our healthier hair system in the States just sucks, man. It totally does. I'm pissed about it for a ton of reasons. In essence, it's characterized by high spending, complexity and fragmented approach, creating significant financial burdens and access barriers for many of us Americans. even despite having world class facilities and research and doctors to help support all of that research. But we're kind of a mess over here in the United States of America right now. So more on that in my next political soapbox moment. But we cannot give up on ourselves. And there's one gorgeous babe that won my heart like big time this season, Chanda Hinton. And the episode that she was in is called Redefining Healthcare for People with Disabilities. And she's not just disabled. After being shot in the back of her neck over a popsicle at the age of nine, it left her a quadriplegic. She is fighting and advocating for herself all day, every day, and for all of us living in pain and struggling within our healthcare system. So... Living with disability shouldn't mean fighting for basic fucking care, right? I want acupuncture. I should get it, especially with the costs of healthcare in this country. So we had a powerful conversation about systemic gaps in healthcare and what it really takes to advocate for change when the system isn't built for you. And the system is not built for the disabled. I mean, it's hard to find parking and ramps. Little things like that are huge in the disabled community, right? Right now, I don't even know who the system is built for, quite frankly. But anyway, so Chanda turned her personal pain into public advocacy, creating a spinal cord injury waiver, turning policy into healing. She has worked to bring holistic care into our health system and continues to work to expand care nationally. But there is a personal toll of advocacy, right? You gotta listen to this episode, It might change the trajectory of your life as. Lyndsay Soprano (15:14.904) her injury changed the trajectory of her life. It's what we do with it, right? Giving pain purpose, guys. That's what I'm sitting here doing on a Friday night. Giving pain purpose after an opening that was really, really sad and hard for me to do. Anyway, so take a listen to it. Boy, does she have an inspiring story and an attitude. Boy, does she have tude. She is amazing. She's hysterical. She's... She's real, she's raw, she's everything that the Pain Game podcast is here for. So take a listen to that episode if you have it. But you know, we have to start where we're at. We have to start where we're at. This is where we are right now in this moment, whether you're driving in your car, whether you're in your bed, whether you're sobbing in the parking lot of a job that you hate, whether you're about ready to drop your kid off at school and it's the first time they've been there, whatever it is, you have to start where you're at, right? And sometimes it is hard to look at ourselves in the mirror. where we are at. I know recently I'm like, wow, I'm old. And I'm looking at like, my eyes are getting a little this, I've got smile lines, I'm calling them smile lines. know, all of these things, we're just like, we're slowly but surely looking at ourselves in the mirror and going, you got this. That's what we have to say. It's my mantra even through those tears, even as I'm looking through my baggy eyes and my exhaustion. all of it, you got this, because you do. Living in pain and living with chronic illness and living with abuse, sometimes just simply living takes its toll. And it's stressful as shit. And we're all trying to climb out of the stress the best that we can in those fleeting moments that we have to do so, right? Because it feels like we're going, going, going, going, going. Now we have one moment to like, take a quick drink out of our new merch mug, by the way that's coming out. Lyndsay Soprano (17:16.078) Pause for just a hot minute. Decompress. And stress isn't just a side effect of our lives, guys. It becomes the part, it becomes part of the fabric of our everyday lives and our being. So, completely different type of guest, Jason Ott. He's amazing. Our meet and greet was actually in my garage, in my car, where I had a full meltdown. because I was so stressed out about what was happening in my house that I had nowhere else to go but my car and connect to wifi to have my meet and greet with Jason. And we instantly connected. He is rad beyond rad. And I kind of like want to invite him over and like spend the night and have like a slumber party or something with him, my husband, his wife. Anyway, so his episode is start wherever you're at, right? So we talked about the deeper layers of stress. the emotional toll of being chronically unwell and also those that are in our life that support us chronically unwell. It's chronically hard for them too. So try to not use them as much of a punching bag as I know sometimes we tend to do, because we're like, I'm not looking for answers from you. All I want is for you to fucking listen to me right now. Let me cry. Let me go upstairs, suck my thumb and put on my PJs. Like sometimes it's as simple as that. But what we talked about is the importance of something called being triad, not being tired. We're all tired guys, triad. And if you think of triad, it's a triangle, Mind, body, spirit. They have to work as equal partners in the healing process. So we unpack a little bit about how emotional trauma, unresolved stress, shitty ass boundaries that we have or don't have. Some of them are really, really good. Some of them are really, really bad. Kudos to all of us who are trying to do boundaries. A plus for anybody that did that well or even slightly well in 2025, because this year has been like 20 years in one year. But they're equal partners, guys, right? And how we unpack emotional trauma, unresolved stress, those shitty ass boundaries, they quietly are sitting there simmering. Lyndsay Soprano (19:34.496) simmering, waiting for the pot to boil over that fuel disease, that fuel our chronic illness, that fuel our chronic pain, that fuel our chronic stress, all of those things together in the big pot, right? We need our mind, body, and spirit to be chit chatting with each other and we need to do a better job of it. We all do. Don't say that you've got it down pat, because you don't. Just saying. So take a listen if you are done treating your body like a problem to solve, but ready to start listening to what it's been trying to say all along. And Jason is amazing. You're going to enjoy that episode very much. Along with all the other episodes from the season, by the way, I'm just highlighting a couple of my favorites. But one of the things that we talk about in regards to stress reduction is sleep. And where the holy hell are we going to fit sleep in in all of this stressful mix, right? As I've mentioned a billion, a bagillion times on this show, I've been an insomniac since I was nine years old, and at least I now know why. So. I was super lucky to lock down the co-founder of Biat Neuroscience, Michael Byrne. We had an epic conversation about not dreading the bed anymore. And that can mean a lot of different things to certain people, maybe couples are having problems in the bedroom, but we're talking about sleep here. I have dreaded the bed for a lot of my life because I just don't enjoy being in it because most of the time I'm fuck straight in it. I'm just right? And so Michael and I were able to speak about the overlooked links between sleep, stress and emotional health. And his company has developed a sleep mask that uses neural feedback and personalized audio to support real restorative rest. This thing is insane. You'll have to go check it out. Listen to the episode. It's amazing. I can't wait. It's been it's been in production for a long time and it's almost out. It's almost out. It's going to be the best Christmas present that anybody could ever get because this thing is insane. I mean, how much money how much money have we spent on sleep, our sleep pills, our rubs, our sprays, our spritzes, our pillows, our sheets, our blankets? I mean, it is unbelievable how how much money is spent in the sleep industry. Right. Lyndsay Soprano (21:52.706) And I'm exhausted 99 % of my day and I still can't sleep. And it isn't just because of pain. So take a listen to that episode, Dig Deeper with Michael, as he talks about personalizing sleep and rethinking the sleep experience as a whole, because it's not quite what you expect. And like I mentioned, I have a billion reasons why I don't sleep that I could rattle off. And my family, this is funny, my family has something we call BBD. BBD stands for busy brain disorder. Overthinking every possible thing that could happen, did happen, didn't happen, should have happened, why did that happen, why didn't that happen, what was I wearing when that happened, why wasn't I wearing that when that happened. I mean, goes on and on and on. Busy brain disorder. And when you're a little girl, little boy, when the weight of trauma happens to you, you don't really know the havoc it is wrecking on your little precious soul and your little bod long term, right? How could we possibly know that from nine years old to 40, I don't know how old I am, 48? I think I'm 48, 47, 48, somewhere in there. All of that time, all of these little tiny things have been adding up to making me sick. Childhood wounds. They're wrecking havoc on us, right? And still we start unpacking it. and look to understand the complexity of the unspeakable and the why behind it, the BBTY, we feel trapped in it. And the psychological effects of trauma just start manifesting themselves as physical symptoms. That's just what happens. Science. mean, half of us don't believe in science, but the other half of you that do believe in science, it happens. Childhood wounds of abuse. are part of my story and they're part of my guest that was on the show. My God, is she amazing. Allreen Hedquist, she is dope, beyond dope. And she was able, just like so many of us, to triumph from trauma. So Allreen grew up in a household of sexual abuse from her father and other male family members, as did her five sisters. It wasn't until her physical symptoms started to appear and anger was at full throttle. Lyndsay Soprano (24:19.15) This is in relationships, it comes out as anger. that she started to unpack what happened to her. Her journey is beyond amazing and she not only turned her own trauma into triumph, but she also became an attorney to fight for women who've endured sexual abuse, harassment, and discrimination. Certainly during the Me Too movement is kind of when all this started to happen within her. And she broke the silence of her shame. Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame. shame, guilt, shame, guilt, all of it, right? And so her law practice intersects justice and empowerment, and she decided to shift all of her life toward gratitude. And it is hard for us in the muck to be grateful. But man, man, just write a list. It's simple. Like there's so many simple things. I have a roof over my head. There's one. Let's be grateful. Guys, there are so many things for us to be grateful and it's hard in those moments of turmoil. It's hard when we've lost a loved one. It's hard when we're living in so much excruciating pain. It's hard when we're in the hospital time and time again. It's hard, it's difficult. Why isn't life easy? Well, what the hell? I don't know. I don't know, don't ask me why life isn't easy. It just isn't. It's called resilience. And Alreen is the embodiment of it and she is super rad. She's here in Southern California in San Diego. And she's just turned into just such an incredible advocate for all women across the United States. And I'm super proud to have her be in having been a guest on the show. And I'm you guys have to take a listen to her episode. And she has a book fueling it. Dear Lord fueling triumph. Steve, just take that up. She has a book that you guys got to check out, too. It's in show notes and all that. Lyndsay Soprano (26:15.022) And then we come into, like I was going back and forth about, did I want the like cadence of this episode to go through all of that and then kind of talk about this dark part, right? It's all kind of dark. But it's also kind of light. So in our darkest of hours, we can always find light. We can. You know, in silence, we can hang on to one harp string. We can hum. We can sing in that silence. And that's why we have each other to lean on guys. That's what we're here for. I don't know why I'd be having a conversation with you right now if I didn't need you. I mean, I can just do this by myself and not talk to you about it. I need you guys. We all need a village, but we need a village that will ride at dawn or whatever time you get your call. And this is tough. When I got a call from one of my best friends on the planet, my beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, she's just like one of those amazing women that you will ever meet, Jeanette Tashjen, I call her Lobby for lobster. So I get this call from her that she had asked her husband to drown her in her bathtub because her CRPS pain, we both have CRPS, was so out of control that she couldn't handle one more second of it. I wrote it, Dawn. That's your village, people, right? And she rides for me every morning, noon and night if I need her to. And after that call, we had to have a very difficult conversation with each other. And it was about suicide ideation. And CRPS, just for, hey, you may be new and this is your first episode that you're listening to, so welcome. I hope you've made it this far. Thank you for being here. But for those of you who have been here, CRPS is called Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome. It sounds fake, but it's not. But it's also called the suicide disease. Lyndsay Soprano (28:17.708) It doesn't act the same way in each person that has it. There's different types of it. I'm full body, so is Jeanette. Some people just have it in their arm after a wrist surgery that went awry. And some of it's not even something going awry. It's just, ugh, it's terrible. And so one thing that is similar about it is that it is higher on the McGill's pain scale. the natural childbirth. So on my worst of worst pain days, same with Jeanette Lobby, it's hard to call you Jeanette by the way, girl. When Lobby and I are having those worst of worst days, we are literally just walking around having babies. That's what we're doing. We're having natural childbirth walking around you and it's debilitating, it's getting worse, it's crushing us. It's crushing us. both were super active ballerinas and skiers and hikers and bikers and all of these things. And then there are days where we just want to legitimately commit suicide. Like what? How can we have these conversations? We have to. And I've 100 % thought about killing myself. I've written letters to people prepping for it. I have thought about ways that I could more times than I'd like to admit. And it's a horrible thing to say out loud. Horrible. But I'm not keeping it inside anymore. And so Jeanette and I had to have this conversation, right? And it was, we're going to do an episode about it. And we're just going to break down that barrier. And we're not going to make it seem so taboo to have these thoughts, to have these thoughts, the ideation of it. And when it comes to Lobby and I particularly, you would never, ever, ever believe that either of us struggle with pain. would not know right now that from my hips down, if you were looking at me and listening to me right now, that from my hips down, I want somebody to take a chainsaw and chop my legs off because I am in so much pain. Lyndsay Soprano (30:22.518) And I can't even explain it because it's 17,000 different types of pain going on at the same time. So anyways, so Lobby and I, we struggle all day long, all night long in this, but we're so good at being amazing around people in public. We like to say that we both have like a hundred Oscars on our shelves, like Meryl Streep got shit on me, okay? Sometimes Lobby's the best actress, sometimes I am, but we are. always best supporting actresses for each other in this world and in this game that we're playing, the pain game, right? Ooh, that wasn't too bad. And so we chose together to have this uncomfortable conversation about the suicide ideation. So we did. And it is 100 % I'm using a lot of 100 % here today. It is 100 % worth your listen because it's not as depressing as it sounds. It actually ends up being fairly uplifting. And we got down and dirty about dealing with the day to day of living with chronic pain and illness. Year after bloody year. I'm almost on 10 years. This is ridiculous. The ongoing relentless pain that we struggle with 24 hours a day and we still keep going. Cause you got this. We're trying to survive the unimaginable life that we did not sign up for. We're trying to do it with grace. We're trying to do it with dignity. We're definitely doing it with depravity. And laughter, I I opened up laughing and then I went into what started in 1987. I mean I don't know how else to deal with this shit. And we also have to do with a lot of tears together, but we are a village. Even if it's a small one, small villages count too, right? But I can say this, you can bet your life that I am not going anywhere. I have a village to love. You are my village, so thank you. for being here for season three. Thank you for loving me and loving my guests and for loving each other. Season four is going to be off the hook. We have a whole new online community that we are launching, a merch store where you can help give pain purpose, because you know that's what we do here, and rep the brand and rep yourselves. Lyndsay Soprano (32:40.61) And before I hit the dusty trail here, which I love to say at the end of my episodes, I kind of changed it up here and there, but I want to take a hot minute to thank my absolutely amazing, gorgeous, beautiful, crazy, neurotic, my gosh, the sky is falling, there's mold in my washer, crazy director of all things in my life, Rachel Kalmar, you not only support this show and all that it takes to do this thing. but you are here through all the ups and downs of what it is to be in my life. And I love you with all I got, girl. And there isn't a moment that I don't cherish you. I wanna take time to thank my producer, Steve, for being here since day one of this thing. Rachel came in like in the middle of the end of season one. Steve's been here since day one. And I often forget after I record that I'm like, boop, export, send, do what I need. Steve and Rachel get what they need from me. And then it's like off into the ether and I'm starting my next thing. But I forget, Steve, that you have to listen to all of this. You have to hear these stories and rewind them and listen to them and fine tune some things and cut some of my ridiculous shit out if it needs to be. And you turn it into something beautiful and memorable. And I'm so grateful for you. And I know it's hard to listen to some of these stories. And you do it with grace and patience and love. And I can't do it without you. And also to me, sweetie, because everybody knows we're going to do that. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't fall in love with you all over again, even though you're a pain in my ass. You support me through my bathtub days, my I can't go on days, my let's go fly a kite days, my every day. And I absolutely simply cannot do this life without you. And I am forever yours. And thank you so much for supporting this show and everything that we do. And my guests, my God, my guests. Thank you so much for trusting me with your stories. Thank you for letting me share them all. And I am so incredibly proud of all of us for doing this together because it ain't just me behind the mic making this possible, right? I don't have a show without you guys. And my guests are so brave and coming in and literally just peeling their skin off their bodies and just showing up raw. I do it, but man, do you give me the grit and the grace to show up for you. Lyndsay Soprano (35:00.63) And thank you, because me showing up is showing up for you and you showing up is showing up for me. So thank you. I will take my season three bow now. I have season four to work on. So you are exclusively invited to share this hell of a season three and on to season four VIP pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to heal with you by my side and by yours. Please follow the Pain Game Podcast wherever you digest your podcast content. We will be there. Visit us at, wipe away my tears, visit us at thepaingamepodcast.com and follow us on all the socials. I feel like I'm ending like a 10 year season of Seinfeld right now. Thanks for listening my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.