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Spiritual Life · A Time to Sharpen

0:09
Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
0:12
Well, yeah, lots of things I guess.
0:14
Poverty, war, people not returning your phone calls or
0:19
your text? Is their time better than my
0:22
time or worth more? Is there a problem here Sir?
0:24
Did they not read my text? Calm down.
0:28
No, as a matter of fact they did read my text because I can see
0:30
on my phone that it was read. One more time, Sir.
0:33
Calm down. So now you read it and you don't
0:37
want to get back with me because you're too good for me.
0:39
OK, just calm down. I'll calm.
0:43
A dole blade is bad. It's unusable.
0:46
It's downright dangerous. Knives need sharpening.
0:51
From Whetstone Boys Ranch in Mountain View, MO, comes a Time
0:54
to Sharpen, a bi weekly podcast that examines how we can all be
0:58
better versions of ourselves. Better counselors, better
1:02
teachers, better parents, better people.
1:10
It's a little ironic that it has taken US 65 episodes to get to
1:14
this topic. You could argue it should have
1:16
been the first one we ever addressed because spiritual life
1:19
is our top priority, the reason we do anything at Whetstone.
1:24
Then again, if you've listened to the previous 65 episodes, you
1:27
know we've been talking about it all along.
1:29
Faith is the why underneath everything here, and it's never
1:32
something we want to compartmentalize.
1:35
Yes, we have the Staples, regular Chapel, Sunday Church,
1:38
Bible study built into the week, but the real work happens in the
1:42
margins, in mentoring, on work days, during silent walks
1:45
through God's creation, a boy's character is sharpened slowly
1:49
through consistency and care. We try to live out that old
1:52
Francis of Assisi line, Preach the gospel always, and when
1:56
necessary, use words. Join us this week on A time to
2:00
sharpen as we talk about what we do at Whetstone to till the soil
2:04
of the heart. Maybe I haven't prayed enough.
2:07
I'm sure that's not the problem. Praying is something we do in
2:11
our time. The answers come in cards.
2:14
Time. If I'd done everything I
2:18
possibly can. Can you help me, son?
2:25
In 35 years of religious studies, I've come up with only
2:30
two hard, incontrovertible facts.
2:32
There is a God, and I'm not him. Welcome back to a time to
2:38
sharpen. This is Axel Limata.
2:41
I'm here with Brandon Maxwell. How you doing, Brandon?
2:44
Good. How are you doing this?
2:45
Morning. I'm doing good, all right.
2:47
It's a nice crisp fall morning here in Mountain View, MO.
2:54
Yeah, not as crisp. It's getting gonna be up to 70
2:57
today. Yeah, Which is?
2:58
Weird. Warming up.
2:59
Warming up I've had. Some 20 mid 20 days Yep so.
3:04
The leaves. The leaves have come and gone,
3:07
just like over the course of a weekend, they all blew down.
3:10
Yeah. And.
3:12
And now the grass is going to be growing again and the ticks are
3:15
going to come out. Right, we got some little seeds,
3:18
little grass seeds. I know, sprouting up, nice to
3:20
see that. Over at the the forge Forge,
3:23
Yeah. And so that's exciting to see
3:25
and I took some pictures. I'm trying to capture it and do
3:28
a little put little story on Instagram about the yeah,
3:32
symbolism of the seeds kind of popping up and of of of things
3:36
coming together. So that's pretty sweet.
3:39
Did we mention in our last podcast that we've renamed the
3:42
OR that we've named the house the Forge?
3:45
I think I might have dropped it right at the end of the podcast
3:49
or. Something I can't remember.
3:50
But we had, we've struggled for a while now to, to determine
3:55
what those houses are called because we were calling them the
3:58
upper level house and the new house and the old house.
4:01
And it was getting confusing and, and it, it wasn't like
4:03
mission, mission oriented either.
4:06
So we had a process by which we vetted names and then debated
4:12
what what we should call it. So we settled on the old house,
4:15
the house that we've been living out of for 14 years.
4:18
The foundry as in the place where the metal is melted down
4:23
and prepared and repurposed. And then the new house is the is
4:30
the forge. So that's where the shaping
4:32
occurs and the hammering and the anvil and the the real work of
4:38
making progress and, and of getting ready to go back home.
4:42
Sharpening. Yeah, Yeah.
4:44
So that's pretty cool, pretty romantic.
4:46
And we're excited about developing that imagery not just
4:49
in like marketing and on social media, but like in the actual
4:53
program with, with doing some metal work or leather work or
4:58
working with our hands and. Yeah, making some different
5:01
products potentially. Yeah.
5:04
Boys can either go home with or maybe could put in an online
5:07
store or something like that. Some cool merch there's.
5:10
Yes, and definitely some, some unique merch.
5:13
Yeah, we've always had some unique merchandise with the the
5:17
the whetstones. Oh yeah, and the the branded
5:20
leather gloves. Those are all cool.
5:22
Stuff, I mean big hit some of what we're what we're laying
5:25
down here is like, I mean 14 years sounds like a long time,
5:30
but in the life of an organization that's still like
5:34
early days, like we've been laying the foundation for people
5:38
that are going to come and follow us later.
5:41
Yeah and so I'm hopeful and we're prayerful that that these
5:44
decisions that we make, you know, naming a house, you know
5:49
while it seems kind of like small on some level, it, it can
5:52
really have some large ripple effects.
5:54
And so we're excited to see how that will attract families and
5:58
staff and, and programming decisions that are made in the
6:01
future. And so I'm excited about that,
6:03
you know, handing off to the next generation of
6:07
whippersnappers who are going to come along and, and do the
6:09
things that we thought we would be able to do, ironically,
6:14
because it takes a long time to do stuff, to build stuff and.
6:19
Oh yeah. Like the equine therapy, for
6:21
example, like that was like from day one, that was going to be a
6:24
part of what we do. And and yet we're still
6:26
figuring, trying to figure out how we're going to do that.
6:28
But yeah. Well, just using 285 acres, you
6:33
know, doing things that you thought you would always do or
6:38
have the opportunity to do, but it's like the priorities of just
6:43
trying to run a nonprofit and to keep the main thing, the main
6:47
thing And we talked about with just, I mean, the boys in our
6:50
care and it's there's a lot of things that and ideas that you
6:55
throw out there you're just not able to pull off just because it
6:57
takes time and the right people and.
6:59
Yeah, you just keep showing up. You know, some days it's about
7:03
surviving and and hanging on to that thread.
7:06
You know, we talked a little. Talk.
7:08
And I've been joking a little bit lately about how, you know,
7:11
sometimes it just feels like we're always hanging on by a
7:14
thread here at West. Be strong little roots.
7:20
But you know, that's OK that that reminds us that that we are
7:26
only here by the grace of God and that he's in charge.
7:29
And I, I'm, I'm sure there are people out there listening to
7:32
this podcast right now that feel like they're hanging on by a
7:35
thread to whatever it is that they're trying to hold on to.
7:39
And so we just want to encourage you all out there to, to keep
7:42
hanging on and, and keep showing up because God is God has a plan
7:47
and it's for good and not for evil.
7:50
And what you're going through now, there's a purpose to it and
7:55
the struggle is not in vain. So keep us in your prayers and
8:01
we'll keep you in our prayers. And we'll just keep, keep
8:04
muddling through here. Incrementalism, right?
8:08
The, the, the slow progress of, of recovery and of growth and
8:12
transformation. So today we're going to talk
8:14
about that from a spiritual perspective because we realized
8:19
that we were, you know, brainstorming about what we're
8:22
going to talk about today. And that the topic of Chapel
8:25
came up as a one of those nuts and bolts things that happens
8:29
here at the ranch to, to peel back the curtain and let people
8:32
hear about what we do. And, and a lot of people have
8:34
this question I've found over the years.
8:37
It's one of the first questions people ask is like, where do you
8:40
bring those guys to church? Or do you bring them to church?
8:42
Or what do you do for Bible? You know, what do you do for
8:45
Bible study? What do you do for to encourage
8:47
them to grow in their heart and, and towards God and towards
8:50
grace and towards love and, and all these things.
8:53
And it's been at the heart of what, what, why we do what we
8:58
do. It is what, why we do what we
9:00
do. And so much so that it's in the,
9:03
it's in the fabric of everything that we do.
9:06
Yeah. So to kind of like piece it out
9:09
is like it's not counterproductive, but it's like
9:12
it feels a little unnatural because it is like it is what we
9:16
do. Yeah, I use that statement a lot
9:18
when I'm doing presentations or whatever talking about like
9:21
that. The the thread that goes through
9:25
everything that we do is the fact that we believe that Christ
9:28
has the power to change lives. So how does that transfer and
9:33
manifest itself in our woodshop program and and our therapy and
9:38
house stuff when we're doing meals, the running program, You
9:43
know, there's different ways that we're not beating kids over
9:46
the head with scripture verses every day and you're not running
9:50
next to a boy and showing, you know, quoting Scripture while
9:54
you guys are ready, you know? Although I have done that.
9:58
So sometimes. It's.
10:00
Necessary. But yeah, we, you know, just the
10:03
old adage, you show them what the gospel looks like instead of
10:05
tell them. So that's what we tried to do,
10:09
sometimes unsuccessfully, but I think more successfully than
10:12
not. But that's kind of again, the
10:16
fabric, the thread that runs through everything here.
10:20
But it also is a good way obviously from the beginning to
10:26
to start the day that we felt was important.
10:29
And so, so, yeah, we just wanted to talk a little bit through
10:32
that, how that is structured, what that looks like and
10:37
expectations from the boys standpoint and expectations from
10:40
staff and kind of the whole 9 yards, Yeah.
10:44
Yeah, Francis of Assisi is famous for the the quote to
10:48
preach the Gospel always and you when necessary use words.
10:54
And so we that's that pretty much describes our approach, I
10:58
would say in terms of modeling and in terms of like these are
11:03
boys who are like at the peak of rebellion, right?
11:08
You know, and so to come at them head on with a Bible verse and
11:14
with let's go to church and let's sit down.
11:17
Let's hear what the Bible has to say or what this preacher has to
11:19
say. They're just going to tune that
11:20
out, you know, for a, for a number of reasons, which we can
11:25
get into. So we, we tend to take kind of
11:28
the back door approach in terms of taking teachable moments, for
11:34
example. And if something comes up and,
11:37
and you feel like there's some, some opening up or some
11:42
possibility that they'll be receptive to, to spiritual
11:44
truth, then you kind of seize that.
11:46
And because we do have time on our side here at the ranch, they
11:49
are here for 6 to 12 months. Those, those possibilities are,
11:55
you know, endless, you know, if you're paying attention and if
11:59
you're attuned and if you're being intentional.
12:01
So let's talk about some of the intentionality that we that we
12:04
use with the spiritual life. And you mentioned Chapel.
12:07
So let's start there. That seems like a real good
12:09
place to start. Why don't you tell us how we've
12:12
done Chapel from from day one? Yeah.
12:15
Well, I think it's been pretty consistent from the standpoint
12:19
of a time frame. We try to take 30 minutes juicy
12:23
that 8 to 830 time frame and we have always kind of just rotated
12:30
between staff picking specific days.
12:33
We all have our specific days now and kind of have some basic
12:38
subject matter. We are it always each month is
12:41
revolved around the character trait for the month and we've
12:44
talked about that. I felt like decent amount on
12:48
this podcast. So there's the, you know,
12:52
honesty, loyalty, responsibility, all of our our
12:55
trade. So this month is is a
12:57
responsibility. So all the chapels try to stay
13:03
around that theme of responsibility.
13:06
It's not like you have to just completely camp out on that, but
13:10
as part of just helping them understand what responsibility
13:14
looks like. Our movies and other discussions
13:17
in school and the house and, and Chapel kind of revolve around
13:21
that. And so, so, yeah, we just take
13:23
different, we take turns figuring out sometimes we, we
13:28
don't always have to stick to, you know, reading out of the
13:32
Bible, but every, every boy has their own Bible and they're
13:35
expected to bring that to the table.
13:37
They have Chapel journals so they are able to get merits for
13:41
taking notes and being able to listen.
13:46
So there's there's a lot of periphery skills that they get
13:49
too from Chapel. Just expectations.
13:52
Like I said, taking notes, showing up with your Bible, your
13:56
Chapel notebook and being able to sit there quietly, respect
14:00
the speaker, respect whatever authority is kind of speaking
14:04
and respecting your peers and not being distracting.
14:07
And even if you're not particularly interested in
14:11
whatever spiritual thing is happening at the time, there's
14:14
still an expectation that you need to you're, you're old
14:17
enough to be able to carry yourself well, to respect the
14:21
speaker, be quiet, have good posture.
14:24
You know, just some of those basic things that a lot of our
14:26
boys is very evident have not, don't have those skills.
14:31
Yeah, So, yeah. And it is the the it's the first
14:33
part of the school day. In fact, when I was the
14:36
headmaster, I really thought of it as a part of the education
14:40
process. Like I don't know if Gabe does
14:43
this still, but I know that I would assign like a, a Bible
14:47
credit. We also had a curriculum that we
14:49
would use with ACE Accelerate Christian Education that would
14:53
have them do some studies of the New Testament or the Old
14:56
Testament or whatever. So that was kind of
14:58
supplemented. But, but there is a lot that
15:01
goes into teaching the boys how to sit still, how to take notes,
15:05
how to date the notes and put the subject in the speaker and.
15:10
Mnemonic devices. Yeah, mnemonic devices for
15:12
remembering things and and there's an art to to note taking
15:17
and because the curriculum is self-taught and kind of
15:21
individualized, which is a real strength of the of the program
15:25
because it teaches them responsibility and ownership of
15:27
their learning and things like that.
15:29
There are fewer opportunities to just sit and listen to the
15:34
teacher and take notes, right. And so we try to build those in
15:38
so that they don't lose those skills if they had them or so
15:41
that they acquire those skills. Yeah, if they don't have them.
15:45
And so. So Chapel time is one of those
15:48
four days a week they're having to sit still for 20 to 30
15:52
minutes. You know, it's not just a shot
15:54
in the arm kind of Chapel where we.
15:56
Here's the thought for the day. And we say, I pray and we're
15:59
gone. This is like we're sitting down
16:00
and we're looking at scripture and we're having to listen to
16:03
someone kind of unpack some a theological issue or something
16:07
like that. And yeah, they do have to sit
16:10
still and pay attention and make eye contact.
16:13
In fact, just the other day, Jeremy had to have a little
16:16
heart to heart with boys during Chapel who were slumping in
16:19
their chair. Got a couple of new boys just
16:20
enroll and this particular boy was not a new boy.
16:25
But generally speaking, when boys come into the program,
16:28
they, they, they let you know that they're not interested in
16:30
what you're saying without saying anything.
16:33
So we have to work on those, those types of issues.
16:36
You mentioned the character traits and mnemonics.
16:39
So we have a a funny little mnemonic that we use.
16:42
Oh yeah, the Husky Larper. The Husky Larper HSKLRP, which
16:49
helps us to remember the order of the, of the character traits.
16:52
So H is honesty, SSL control, K is kindness.
16:56
That's where we get Husky and then LAR PER as in live action
17:00
role play. You know, people that dress up
17:01
in their Knights outfits or Lord of the Rings garb and cosplay
17:06
and stuff like that. That's a LAR PR if you didn't
17:08
know. And so L is loyalty, R is
17:10
responsibility and P is perseverance.
17:13
So that that helps the guys to remember.
17:16
It helps me to remember right for for sure because.
17:19
Yeah. And the other ones that you
17:22
shared with the guys that I think they still do and carrying
17:26
it forward is just the, with the Bible verse that goes with each
17:31
character trait is just being able to write the 1st letter of
17:36
the word of the verse. And that helps.
17:40
So it's a, it's a shorthand way to do it, but it also is a, a
17:44
good mnemonic device. And that's something that, you
17:48
know, just for staff and boys, those things are are helpful to
17:53
again, periphery skills that they get while at Chapel to be
17:58
able to to note, take and memorize and just some value
18:03
there. So pop quiz can we remember the
18:06
Bible verses for the character traits on the spot?
18:11
On the spot. So honesty.
18:13
Honesty. Whoever can be trusted with very
18:16
little. Will also be trusted with much.
18:19
Whoever is dishonest with little will will be dishonest with
18:22
much. I like how it says will not,
18:24
not, might be, but will be, will be.
18:26
Dis Luke 1610. Is that right?
18:30
That's. I think that's right.
18:32
All right, S self-control. Oh yes, a fool gives full vent
18:36
to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
18:39
There you go, Proverbs. 2911. 2911, I remember that one
18:43
because 9/11, 911 like 9110, yeah, it's like when people get
18:47
angry, they do dumb things, you have to call 911 on them or 911
18:50
had to call 911 because. Of, you know, what happened with
18:53
the like bust mailboxes? Yeah, yeah.
18:55
All right, so HSK kindness, be kind and compassionate to one
19:00
another. Forgiving each other, just as in
19:03
Christ, God forgave you, right? Ephesians 432.
19:06
Ephesians. Ephesians 432.
19:09
That's how I remember that one. All the FS.
19:11
Ephesians 432. Forgiving each other.
19:13
Yes. All right, that's my mnemonic.
19:15
All right, So halfway there. Halfway there.
19:17
You're doing good, Brandon. So now we got LARP.
19:20
Yeah. LARP, L Loyalty.
19:22
Loyalty. A man of many companions may
19:25
come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a
19:28
brother. Right.
19:30
Proverbs 2424, I believe, yes, 1824, that one you got 8-2 and
19:37
four, like they're like factors, you know, multipliers.
19:41
That's the that's how I remember that one.
19:42
OK, All right. SLR responsibility, what we're
19:47
doing right now. Do not be deceived.
19:51
Uh huh. God cannot be mocked.
19:52
A man reaps what he sows. Galatians wait for it. 667.
19:59
Galatians 6-7 feel Dumber. We got so lucky.
20:03
I know we were saying that it's like 15 years ago.
20:07
We're coming up with these. Verses it helps to remember it
20:12
though Galatians 6-7 And then we have lastly perseverance, which
20:16
is the long where's the longest one?
20:19
Yes. And it is.
20:22
I have fought the good fight. No, yeah, I fought the good
20:26
fight. I've run the race.
20:28
I fought the fight. I I've fought the good fight.
20:31
I have finished the race, kept the faith.
20:33
I have finished the race. Now there's now.
20:35
There's in store for me a crown of righteousness which the Lord,
20:39
the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, right?
20:42
And not only to me on that day, but to.
20:44
All who have longed for his appearing and I don't.
20:46
Think we do that last? We don't, we know we throw that
20:49
part, we chopped that off. So the second Timothy, Second
20:56
Timothy 4. 7:00 and 8:00. Second Timothy, 4-7 and eight.
21:02
Yeah, OK, I don't have a good way to remember that one.
21:07
Yeah, Second Timothy is good because I, I imagine running
21:09
beside the boys, right? Second Timothy and then 4-7 and
21:14
eight. That's a.
21:16
That's a tricky 1. Yeah, you gotta have something
21:20
to connect. Yeah, all three of them.
21:22
Maybe you can make a comment in the show notes and be like the
21:25
first person to actually leave a comment if you have, if you have
21:29
a harmonic device for that. So all right, Husky Larper, good
21:34
job, Brandon. A + A plus.
21:38
Put that on your transcript. There it is.
21:40
All right, so Chapel, that's one way that we are.
21:43
We are intentional on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
21:47
Wednesday we don't have Chapel because we have staff meetings
21:51
and so the boys sleep in a little bit and then they get up
21:54
and we have work day or field trip or group therapy.
21:58
It's it's kind of a, it's a hard day to work in a, a Chapel
22:01
because we're already kind of getting things late.
22:03
All right, so now let's talk about like church, like where,
22:06
where do you bring those boys to church?
22:08
We get that. We get that question a lot and
22:12
I'll let you take that. OK, well, the short answer is
22:17
really two to three different places.
22:21
We do have a home church. I would say Pomona Christian is
22:25
our home church. In at least two weeks or two
22:29
Sundays out of the month, we're going to be going there.
22:33
But we also want to be able to show the boys just how other
22:38
people worship and not get, you know, where Whetstone is not
22:44
affiliated with one particular denomination or church or
22:49
anything like that. And there's just different ways
22:53
different people worship. And so I think it's healthy to
22:56
show the boys that they may have grown up in one particular
23:00
church and have no concept of what other people do.
23:03
And sometimes it kind of a myopic view.
23:05
And I grew up in a church that was, you know, kind of that's
23:12
didn't think that anything else was was right sometimes.
23:18
And so it's nice to be able to just show the boys how other
23:23
people worship and God is bigger than a building.
23:25
God is not the building. It's, it's our hearts and people
23:30
have different ideas of the way they they worship and there's
23:34
different traditions. And as long as those traditions
23:37
are, you know, at the heart of them are, are not inconsistent
23:42
with what the Bible teaches, then it's important for us to be
23:45
able to have them at least see how that plays out.
23:49
And so sometimes we'll go to two or three other churches.
23:52
I would say it's kind of up to the house parents, right?
23:54
Yeah. That's how we've handled that.
23:56
Or Evers on duty or we didn't have house parents and so.
24:00
They may have their own church they go to.
24:02
Yeah, I know For me, like thinking back to when I was that
24:06
age, 13141516, some of the most important like spiritual
24:11
experiences I had were the ones that were outside of my
24:16
upbringing. It kind of brought me out of my
24:19
comfort zone. Like you said, like we grew up
24:21
in a tradition where worshipping one way was considered to be
24:27
biblically like the the right way.
24:31
And so that was challenging to, to go and then experience
24:35
worship another way and have to reconcile kind of the what I had
24:39
been taught or maybe what I thought about what I've been
24:42
taught and have to come to my own decision about that and make
24:47
the faith real. And so I think that's good to
24:50
get that diversity. And, and we also have to respect
24:53
the fact that we have boys from all of the spectrum when it
24:56
comes to religious background. Most of them grew up in
24:59
Christian households and have have quite a bit of experience
25:01
with church and religion and things like that in the youth
25:06
group. But we do have boys from
25:08
different, like all across the spectrum of denominations,
25:12
Catholic, Protestant and everything in between and.
25:15
Yeah, we've had Mormon Saturday Saints.
25:18
We've had some Amish. Had Jewish family some.
25:21
Jewish families so. And so.
25:23
Some atheist, I mean, at least that's the yeah or boys say
25:28
their. Humanists or that kind of thing,
25:30
which is interesting. Yeah.
25:31
And, and of course those families know that upfront.
25:33
They're not going to get blindsided by the fact that
25:35
we're preaching the Bible and talking about Jesus and and all
25:39
that stuff. We're not embarrassed by it, but
25:40
we're also not we're going to do it in a way that's respectful.
25:43
A little Jesus will do them, yeah.
25:46
And we try not to overdo the religion thing either.
25:48
Like we've had guys that like the first week, they're like,
25:51
oh, I want to get baptized, you know?
25:53
And it's just so like obviously fake that they're just trying to
25:58
convince you that there's nothing wrong with them and that
26:01
they, you know, oh, I'm changed now.
26:03
And so we don't give into that, but we'll have a discussion with
26:07
them about it. And we have had boys who after
26:10
some study and some time, we have you baptized a resident
26:13
early on. I still that was very memorable
26:15
experience. But we wouldn't do any of that
26:19
without the parents permission with really talking to them and
26:22
letting them work through that, right?
26:24
That's kind of it. That's a hard thing.
26:26
If you're a parent and your son is going through something like
26:29
that and you're not there, you can't be a part of it.
26:32
That's tough. And missing out on those.
26:35
Those things we have to be really sensitive to like like
26:38
the first shave. That's one that comes up is like
26:42
some guys come here with a little bit of like stubble or
26:44
scruff and and it gets a little bit like like you need to shave
26:48
that off. And you think I'm just supposed
26:51
to shave that right off. But you're like, wow, that's
26:53
like a thing you do with your son that you don't get to do
26:57
Maybe if he's at Whetstone. And so my point is we just have
27:01
to be sensitive to stuff when it comes to matters of of religion
27:05
and and interpretation of scripture and and things like
27:08
that. So, all right, so any other like
27:12
nuts and bolts things that are built into the program, this
27:16
Chapel, this church? Well, now the house parents
27:22
currently, which I've appreciated, they are
27:25
incorporating just a devotional in the Evening Times.
27:29
You know, as we we've talked about the importance of just
27:33
really creating the environment before they go to bed and kind
27:38
of settling in, settling down. A lot of times there's some
27:41
anxieties with boys around bedtimes based on maybe some
27:45
past traumas and sometimes I just get second wind.
27:48
I know my kids man. A couple of them.
27:50
It's like 9 O clock rolls around.
27:52
It's like. They get the roomies.
27:54
Oh my goodness, man. So it's just being able to
27:57
create the environment to to settle down and to have a good
28:02
positive into the night. And so they've incorporated a
28:07
little devotional up in the loft, which is I love it.
28:10
I mean, that loft space is just, that's my favorite spot up there
28:14
and just a cool environment. You're just things are got a
28:20
fire going and just a good end to the day.
28:24
So you kind of have this front and end, start your day with it,
28:27
and you're ending your day on a spiritual note and it just kind
28:33
of sets you up, Yeah, in general for a better next day.
28:37
Yeah, that's good to hear that they're maybe starting that that
28:40
tradition cause, you know, well begun is half done.
28:44
You get things like that going. The new boys that come into the
28:47
house as they move through the program come to expect it.
28:50
You can have a little more sober minded discussion and not have
28:55
to work on all the, you know, shenanigans that occur with a
28:59
new boy coming in. Like like that would not really
29:02
be possible in in the foundry. But in the 4th, I noticed they
29:08
also on the mantle up there, I don't know if you notice this,
29:10
there is a prayer box. So it's just a little wooden box
29:15
that they've branded and it's just got sheets of paper in it
29:18
with a pencil. And yeah, so anybody's free to
29:22
write down a prayer request and stick it in there.
29:25
And it's just something that they wanted to do the house
29:27
parents to have a running prayer list that they go over.
29:31
So that's I thought that was. Cool, that's cool, that's cool.
29:34
Although the first thing that pops into my mind is all the
29:36
like passive aggressive things you might get in there.
29:38
Oh. Yeah.
29:41
So, but yeah, they don't. Those would be interesting.
29:46
But they talk about those at church a lot of times, right?
29:51
Way to gossip. Yeah, yeah.
29:55
All right, so another thing I guess we could count as
29:59
something that's that's baked into the spiritual life of
30:02
Whetstone is the core value of, of God's creation, like the, the
30:08
love of God's creation. Because we were very intentional
30:11
about waiting to purchase the right piece of land, you know,
30:16
instead of just getting something and getting started,
30:20
you know, in a little building down in a neighborhood
30:23
somewhere, you know, facility kind of treatment.
30:26
It was like, no, no, this is not the Whetstone way, right?
30:30
We're going to wait and we're going to get a piece of land
30:32
that that where we can use to teach God through nature.
30:36
And so we have 285 acres here, we have 7 ponds, we have
30:41
forests, we have trails to walk, you know, ways that we're
30:45
continuing to develop the property, the animals that we
30:48
take care of the garden. All that stuff is a is
30:51
opportunity to talk about God because his fingerprints are
30:54
kind of throughout that. And there's all kinds of lessons
30:58
we learn that relate to the character traits with loyalty
31:03
and perseverance and kindness that you learn by interacting
31:06
with nature. So I would count that.
31:10
Oh, 100%. And I just think that it's not
31:19
there. There's, I don't know how I want
31:22
to say it, but we just, I think it's so focused on with modern
31:29
medicine and science and therapy and license therapy and we just
31:36
take such a therapeutic approach to like, just like a hyper
31:40
therapeutic approach to everything.
31:42
It's got to be all about the, the science behind all of these
31:46
studies and you know, just that side of things.
31:51
It's like if my kid doesn't have exactly the right type of
31:56
therapy and medication, then it's he's not getting what he
31:59
needs. And don't hear me saying that
32:02
those things aren't important. But it is such a, it's just part
32:06
of the process. And when you talk about the the
32:09
milieu or the therapy overall, like what you just said is like
32:13
such an important part about it because especially now as we
32:17
look at science and studies with how the phones and and just all
32:21
the media stuff kind of messes with the pathways of our brains
32:26
and gives us more anxiety and makes us compare ourselves to
32:31
other people. You know, Whetstone is
32:33
intentionally a way for these boys to get outside of all of
32:38
that stuff, go experience God for who he is in those settings,
32:44
you know, and be able to observe, like engage other
32:48
senses you haven't engaged before because you're just
32:51
dumbed down with everything's given to you.
32:53
You know, when you talk about like doom scrolling or whatever,
32:57
just all of the the media and and movies and video games, all
33:01
everything's just like given to you.
33:02
You don't have to think about anything And like Google Maps,
33:05
you know, even that it's just so it's so it makes it so easy.
33:09
And so being able to step back and engage different parts of
33:14
your brain that you haven't engaged before by being
33:17
observant and feeling things that you haven't felt before and
33:20
being uncomfortable in certain situations.
33:22
You know, all that stuff is it just puts ourself in
33:26
uncomfortable situations where we have to deal with it, right?
33:30
We talked about this morning like we ran out of power.
33:32
We didn't have power. You didn't have power at your
33:35
house. We didn't have at our house.
33:36
And it's like immediately when you don't have power, what do
33:39
you do? Like what?
33:41
What goes through your mind? Me.
33:43
Yeah, well, calling the power company, you know, that's which
33:49
I did not do right. Gabe was like, did you call the
33:51
pop company? I was like, no, yeah.
33:55
He's like excoriating idiot. Oh, Christine did text me.
34:00
Yeah. Like minutes after that she
34:02
texted him. She's like, by the way, I called
34:04
the power company. I was like, OK, that's something
34:07
that she would think of. Yeah.
34:08
I'm just more like, it'll come back on when it come.
34:10
I mean, they they probably know we're not the only people,
34:13
right. But yeah, I think about that.
34:15
And then like, I mean, after that, it's like it's just a
34:18
cascade of things. Well, yeah, that I do
34:20
automatically that don't happen. And I'm like, I turn on the.
34:23
We're not turn on the water. No water.
34:25
OK, I go. Can't flush the toilet once.
34:27
Yes, better think about that and.
34:31
Well, that's yeah, don't open my refrigerator.
34:33
Yeah, that's my point is it's like automatically you kind of
34:36
go into this mode of, you know, you're engaging a different part
34:39
of your brain that is normally on autopilot because it's just
34:42
like these things happen day in and day out.
34:45
You don't even think about it. But when those things when you
34:47
go back to I guess with Dylan analog mode a little bit, is it
34:52
just re engages parts of your brain that you don't use as much
34:56
and that's a healthy thing. Yeah.
34:57
And that's the point is just forcing yourself sometimes in
35:01
those situations is is a good thing.
35:04
I heard I. Think this recently, you never
35:07
know what you hear on the Internet, what's fake news and
35:08
what isn't. But I heard someone say recently
35:11
on a podcast that there was a huge power outage in Spain,
35:15
Barcelona or Madrid or something like the whole city, like trains
35:20
and everything, just out for several hours or half the day or
35:26
something like that. And so people couldn't couldn't
35:29
communicate, like no communication at all.
35:31
It was like Stone Age. So it's really kind of spooky
35:34
and eerie. And then a lot of people
35:36
obviously kind of started to freak out.
35:38
But other people had the opposite thing, which was like,
35:42
wow, just a huge weight is lifted off because I can't get
35:46
to this thing and I can't tell people that I can't get to this
35:49
thing. Yeah.
35:50
And this thing has to happen for this thing to happen.
35:52
But none of that matters anymore.
35:54
Yeah, because everything is just yeah, you.
35:58
And it was really. I have to, I have to Google that
36:00
and see if or chat it, whatever. Yeah.
36:02
And and see if that actually happened.
36:04
But even if it didn't happen, I think that that that's true.
36:08
That expresses something true. Yeah, Dylan and I were talking
36:11
about, he told me about a podcast.
36:13
I listened to it yesterday, actually, this guy named Carlos
36:16
Whitaker and he was on with Deloney.
36:21
But it was this guy. It was all this stuff we're
36:24
talking about with just technology.
36:27
He spent seven weeks with monks and in the Amish because he got
36:31
that notification on his phone on Sunday.
36:34
Said you average 7 hours and 1/2 on your phone every day or this
36:40
week. And he said he started doing the
36:42
math, you know, and he's like, he's 48 years old.
36:45
He's like, my goodness, if I keep this up, I'm going to be
36:48
wasting 12 years of my life if I live to 100, you know.
36:53
And so it was just, it was just an eye opening thing.
36:56
And so he just realized that how big of a issue that was and just
37:01
some of the anxieties that he was feeling.
37:03
And he, he actually did a, he had a brain scan before he did
37:09
this kind of experiment. It wasn't like a scientific
37:12
experiment, but he just own personal journey.
37:14
And anyway, he, he spent seven weeks with monks and just
37:19
totally unplugged and with Amish people.
37:21
And it's just really interesting with the Amish, he said that
37:25
they have every night, they do hour and a half to two hour
37:28
dinners and just talking through that and asking them is like,
37:34
well, why? Why do you guys have these such
37:37
such long dinners? And he's like, well, most
37:39
Americans eat. They don't have meals.
37:43
They just, it's just the purpose of filling their bellies.
37:46
You know, we have a meal and we also don't have phones and
37:50
texting. And I mean, some people do.
37:52
It's not like they don't all do that, but it's an opportunity
37:55
for them to have their neighbors over and to talk about what
37:58
their neighbors doing and connect and get information that
38:01
way. Like that's how they get their
38:02
information and but you're looking people in the eye,
38:07
you're being able to communicate and share ideas and engage your
38:13
brain. And I just thought that was a
38:15
pretty interesting, it was a very interesting conversation.
38:18
And anyway, at the end of it, he had his brain scanned again and
38:24
just the way they look at the pathways and then what's going
38:26
on in there. I don't know how they all do
38:28
that, but he was 75th percentile as far as average of, you know,
38:36
the human male engaging their brain and just intelligence.
38:39
And he was 99th percentile after seven weeks.
38:42
Wow, is what the brain scan showed.
38:45
So it was. Sign me up.
38:47
I know. Well, I mean, I was very
38:49
convicted by it too, so. You're going from, you're going
38:54
from preaching to Medlin here. I know, man, Madeline with, with
38:57
everything and that, yeah, everybody knows the science is
39:02
is is that, you know, everybody knows it.
39:04
It's just like it was not. He actually talks about that.
39:08
It was the first time he didn't hear anybody that had gone to
39:12
the other extreme and just totally checked out to see what
39:15
it was like on the other side of that.
39:17
Cuz it's hard like. The guy who waits ate
39:19
McDonald's. For like, yeah, just he just
39:21
like yeah, he's you need to stop this cuz you're actually gonna
39:24
die is basically with the end game of that.
39:27
Super size me. Super size me yeah.
39:29
But yeah, I mean, we're so connected.
39:31
It's like, cuz that's like, how do you do that?
39:33
Right? But there are very practical
39:35
ways to just You don't have to use your phone for everything.
39:40
Right, that's super. Did you ever see the
39:43
documentary? Yeah, yeah.
39:46
The funniest thing about that was like he made a rule at the
39:49
beginning. He's like if they ask me after I
39:52
order if I want to upsize it or if I want to add a apple pie,
39:58
I'm gonna say yes. Whatever it was suggested.
40:05
That really kicked it up a notch when when he did that.
40:09
Yeah. Another thing that kind of goes
40:12
along with the idea of like nature as a classroom God's, you
40:16
know, microphone, these types of things is these these quiet
40:21
rooms. People do Aaron, Aaron Rodgers
40:23
the is famous for having gone in this quiet retreat, but they
40:27
have these like ultra quiet rooms, like they the quietest
40:30
room on earth or something. You can go somewhere.
40:33
And apparently, again, I don't know if this is fake news or not
40:36
because it just came across my feed, but it was something about
40:39
someone set the world record for being in the quietest room on
40:44
earth. What?
40:45
And it was. Do you want to guess how long it
40:47
was, how long the record was? It was probably a month and 1/2.
40:52
It was like 50 minutes. So the other, the other extreme
40:56
is like if you are in total, total silence, you cannot deal
41:00
with yourself. You can't deal with all of the
41:02
things that that come up from inside.
41:05
Yeah, because there's no distraction.
41:07
Yeah. There's no stimulus that's
41:09
helping you to kind of cope with the anger or the pain or the
41:14
paranoia or the anxiety. All this stuff just comes
41:17
rushing up. And so I think that's good and
41:21
healthy to do to realize that those things are are go are
41:26
happening beneath the surface because if we don't, they
41:28
manifest themselves in physical illness.
41:31
And then yeah, anger, which is a secondary emotion, right?
41:34
And lashing out at people and and the the constant need to
41:38
distract ourselves with our phones or.
41:40
Yeah, we're just not good at being stale.
41:42
So going out in nature is, is a, a way to do that.
41:45
It's just unplug and and let that stuff kind of exercise is
41:49
one of those things too, to go out and run on a road by
41:51
yourself, just hear the sound of your own feet crunching the
41:55
gravel and we see that we we see those emotions bubble up inside
42:00
guys a lot as a result of that too They.
42:03
Yeah, that reminds me of what that Carlos guy said on the
42:07
podcast when they were eating meals together at the monastery
42:11
with all with all these. It was not.
42:13
It's an Abbey is a monastery. Is that pronouns?
42:16
Yeah. Or is that?
42:17
Yeah. So it wasn't anyway eating with
42:19
these monks, but they don't talk at the table.
42:21
So it's like it's just you and listening to everybody chew.
42:26
It's like it's just, I don't know about that driving me nuts,
42:31
you know? So just senses that are engaged
42:35
when you're in different situations, Yeah.
42:42
Boy, things that I would add, it's been a really good
42:46
conversation. We're already at 40 minutes, so
42:50
we need to kind of move towards a conclusion here.
42:52
But like this, I would just say that there are a lot of people
42:56
who have worked here who have left their legacy, a spiritual
43:01
legacy on Whetstone. I think about former staff
43:03
members, you know, Stephen Delaney, for example.
43:08
Heston. Mike Heston, you know.
43:11
Jason Whittingham, you know, the Evanses, the Lewises, you know,
43:17
I don't want to try and name everyone because we'll leave
43:20
anyone out, but like they have left certain ideas or thoughts
43:25
or ways of looking at scripture that still remain.
43:29
Like I'll just pick Mike, for example, Mike would do this talk
43:33
about frozen words about how and we've talked about this on the
43:38
podcast, like one of the very first podcasts, I think bread on
43:41
the waters. I think it was the very first
43:43
one really where we talked about in this this ministry, you speak
43:49
truth and you just feel like you're throwing it into a hole,
43:52
you know, into the void. But it's really more a matter of
43:56
like setting it out there and waiting for it to thaw.
44:00
Like it goes inside the boys, their brains, their heart
44:02
somewhere. And then at some point it it it
44:07
thaws. It's not frozen anymore.
44:09
And then they start to realize, Oh wow, they that does make
44:13
sense. Yeah, they're able to, yeah.
44:14
And you get a text from someone five years later and it says,
44:17
oh, that finally made sense. Yeah.
44:20
And so that's that's one thing that image has has been really
44:24
important and meaningful to me as I think about my work as a
44:29
spiritual mentor or advisor, to not lose faith, to not lose hope
44:33
that what we're doing like matters and that God is working
44:36
through US. Well, that's a good point
44:37
because thinking about just encouraging parents out there
44:43
engaging in these types of things with their teenagers and
44:49
getting pushed back and bad attitudes and slouching.
44:55
I remember Papa Tuck talking about, you know, the his three
44:57
boys having a Bible study at the table in the mornings and very
45:05
often having bad attitudes, just getting out of bed and not
45:09
wanting to do it and just fighting all that.
45:11
It, it's work. It's, it's a fight, you know,
45:14
and it's easy to just say, oh, they're not listening.
45:16
This is I'm just spinning my wheels here.
45:21
But to be able to, to fight through those feelings and to
45:24
realize that the word of God doesn't return void and this
45:27
idea of frozen words is, is true.
45:30
It's like it's still getting in there.
45:32
You know, there's a lot more that's getting in there.
45:34
They may not be following through or listening and hearing
45:39
as much as you want, but it's it's there and at the right
45:43
time. God's time is is not ours and we
45:46
just have to trust that and not let Satan use that to to give
45:49
up. So yeah, yeah, don't, don't lose
45:53
hope if you're struggling with your teenage or preteen son or
45:59
daughter, you know, know that that God is in God is in
46:03
control. He's working through us.
46:06
Keep showing up, like we said at the beginning of the podcast,
46:08
hanging on to that thread. And if you need help and you
46:12
need, you know, some guidance or some suggestions about what you
46:19
can do with your son or daughter, like reach out to
46:23
people in your family. Don't be embarrassed, you know,
46:26
get over that feeling of shame that you have as a as a failure
46:30
and you feel like a failure, like we're all failures, right?
46:35
And so we have to have the humility to realize that
46:37
sometimes we need help. And sometimes Whetstone is the
46:40
place that can be helpful. You know, and honestly, right
46:44
now we have a lot of room in these new houses to help to
46:47
help. And so does come with a cost,
46:50
though, like a financial cost and the cost of, like we
46:54
mentioned earlier, maybe not getting to see your son have his
46:56
first shave or you miss a birthday, you miss all kinds of
46:59
things. But sometimes it's, it's worth
47:02
it, you know, to get your son back, to put him on a path where
47:06
where he will he will come back to you.
47:09
We have this new artwork in the new house and we've done some
47:12
posts on it. And then at the end of the year
47:14
mailing, it's featured on the cover.
47:16
It's a beautiful piece of artwork by by Alex Rushi and
47:20
talks. We've titled it Rivers and
47:21
roads. There's a head in the heart song
47:24
called Rivers and Roads. And, and the map has these, all
47:27
the roads that lead to Whetstone, you know, and you
47:30
got, you know, 60 and you got 44 and you got 55.
47:35
And all these roads that lead, you can easily take any one of
47:38
those roads and, and go anywhere in the United States.
47:41
And you can take any of those roads and come back to
47:43
Whetstone. So it's the idea of what the
47:46
paths, the rivers and the roads that bring families to
47:49
Whetstone, the ones that bring them back home.
47:51
And then hopefully one day the ones that bring them back to, to
47:54
visit and to we're here for them.
47:57
We we want to say that and so yeah.
48:00
So if, if Whetstone can be of help with the help for you to
48:03
help to you. I'll get my prepositions right
48:06
eventually. Please reach out, contact us on
48:09
our website or social media or phone call.
48:12
Thomas does a great job of answering the phones and of of
48:16
helping parents through that process.
48:18
We're in the process right now of tightening up the system that
48:21
we have and working with, with Victor marketing.
48:25
Alan Norton's been great and, and we're, we're trying to get
48:29
to where we can get, you know, 18 boys here on an annual basis.
48:34
And then after that 3030 boys by 30 by 30.
48:37
It's still possible, Brandon, don't lose.
48:40
So we're running out of time, but it's still possible.
48:42
So just wanted to throw that word of hope out there.
48:45
You have any closing thoughts? I just was thinking of Mike
48:51
Heston. And another thing that he always
48:54
told the boys is that it's easy for them to to use the phrase,
49:00
and we all use this phrase like in the real world, you know, And
49:04
so and just thinking about the rivers and roads and, and boys
49:08
landing here and sometimes feeling like they're just
49:11
missing out on the real world. This isn't Whetstone's, not the
49:15
real world. This isn't the normal path that
49:18
people take. And and a lot of us find
49:20
ourselves in those situations. I'm just thinking about what is
49:24
the real world, you know? And so Mike, I appreciated him
49:27
for just kind of clarifying that is like, this is the real world.
49:32
There's no like fake world out there that I mean, it's just in
49:35
your head, like you are in reality here at Whetstone.
49:39
Take advantage of it, you know, And so this is the real world
49:43
for you. This may not be the real world
49:45
for, as you call it, the real world for other folks, but they
49:49
have things that they're working through like and so be present,
49:52
you know, just take advantage. Don't always be trying to plan
49:55
everything out two years from three years and five years.
49:59
Those things are good, but be present.
50:01
Take advantage of the opportunities that you have
50:05
right now. And really the best way that we
50:08
know how to do that is to be in tune with Christ in spiritually.
50:15
What is God trying to, what are we missing?
50:18
You know, try to observe what God has in front of us every day
50:23
so we don't miss it. And so that's what we try to do
50:25
with Chapel, is to try to keep that a priority so we don't miss
50:28
the big things that God has. Yeah, we're unplugging from one
50:31
thing and plugging into another. And so that's a good, good thing
50:38
to remember because you have to replace it.
50:41
The Bible says if you you clean out your house, you know, and
50:43
get rid of all the demons, if you don't put something else
50:46
back in, they'll be right back and they'll invite all their
50:49
friends and they'll have a big kegger, you know, so well, we
50:54
really appreciate y'all appreciate y'all listening our
50:56
sharpeners out there like share, subscribe, do all the things to
51:01
help spread the word, all the things, all the things.
51:04
Thank you to Thomas for helping us to to keep this particular
51:09
plate spinning. He's got a lot of plates
51:12
spinning. Thomas does.
51:13
And one exciting thing now is if he's working on a video to to
51:17
kind of give a tour of the of the old house and the new house,
51:20
the forge and the foundry and using a boy to he's cast one of
51:25
the residents as the star narrator of that film, that
51:28
short film. So that's going to be really
51:29
cool. So keep an eye out for that.
51:31
And we appreciate Thomas for for that and all the work that he
51:33
does to pour into the boys with music and film.
51:37
He uses those as ways to kind of we have a podcast about that,
51:41
about how we use that to really develop character and to teach
51:46
spiritual principles as well. So it's all about the spiritual
51:48
life. But appreciate you listening to
51:50
this instalment and hope you found some of it helpful.
51:53
And we will catch you next time on the Time to Sharpen.
51:56
See you. Whetstone Boys Ranch is a
52:07
therapeutic boarding school located in the scenic Ozarks of
52:10
southern Missouri. It was founded in 2011 to serve
52:14
families from around the country who are struggling with
52:17
challenging behaviors from their 12 to 16 year old sons.
52:21
Our mission is to sharpen the character of young men.
52:24
Please visit whetstoneboysranch.com if you
52:27
want to learn more about our program or about how to contact
52:30
us for help. Thanks for listening and we hope
52:33
to catch you next time on A Time to Sharpen.