Latest / RealTalkwithMikeD / Do you know what Depression Looks Like?

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Do you know what Depression Looks Like? · RealTalkwithMikeD

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Real Talk with Mike D. Alright, welcome back
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to Real Talk with Mike D. Where we say what
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: we mean and we mean what we say. Thank you
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: very much for being here. Thank you for listening. And
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: as always, I do appreciate you. Ladies and gentlemen, today
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about something that is very, very,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: very serious. Something that is very near and dear to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: my heart. Something that I personally suffer with. something that
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: affects millions of people, something that people struggle with every
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: single day, and something that doesn't get nearly enough understanding
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: or attention. Now, before we get into all that, I
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: just want to ask you a simple question, but it
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: is a very important question. Do you know what depression
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: looks like? Now, before you answer that question, I want
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: you to really, Really think about it. What does depression
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: look like to you? Does it look like somebody sitting
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: alone in a dark room with the curtains closed? Does
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: it look like somebody crying all day? Does it look
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: like somebody who can't get out of bed? Somebody who
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to talk to anybody or somebody who has
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: completely lost interest in life? Maybe. But here's the thing.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Depression doesn't always look the way you think it does.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes depression looks like the person who's laughing the loudest
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: in the room. Sometimes it looks like the person who
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: shows up to work every morning, gets the job done,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: smiles at everybody and tells the world, I'm doing fine.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it looks like the friend who checks in
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: on everybody else but never tells anybody when they're struggling.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it looks like the father who gets up
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: every morning, goes to work, pays his bills the best
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: he can, takes care of his responsibilities, comes home exhausted,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: not just physically, but emotionally exhausted. And sometimes depression looks
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: like a person sitting in their car in a parking lot,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: taking a few extra minutes before going inside because they're
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: trying to gather enough energy to just to face another day.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, you might never know what that person
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: is going through because depression doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: it hides behind a smile and that's what I want
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to talk about today because I think we need to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: stop assuming that we know what somebody is going through
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: just because we can see what's happening on the outside.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you something. Have you ever asked someone
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: how they're doing and they say, I'm good. But deep down,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: you had a feeling that they weren't. Or maybe you've
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: been that person. Somebody asks you, hey, how are you doing?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: And you automatically say, I'm good. How about you? Meanwhile,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: your mind is racing. Your stress is through the roof.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You're exhausted. You're tired. And you're trying to figure out
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: how you're going to get through the rest of the day.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: But guess what? You smile anyway. And why is that?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes it's easier to tell people you're fine than
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: to explain everything that's happening inside your head. How do
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: you explain a feeling you can't even fully understand yourself?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: How do you tell somebody that you're tired when you
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: haven't even done anything physically or exhausting? How do you
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: explain that you can have a roof over your head,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: food on the table, and people who care about you,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: yet you still feel an emptiness you can't seem to fill?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: And how do you explain that you're not necessarily sad
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  Speaker 1: about one particular thing, but everything just feels heavier than
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  Speaker 1: it used to. That's one of the difficult things about depression.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't always have a clear explanation. You might not
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  Speaker 1: be able to point to one specific event and say,
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  Speaker 1: that's why I feel that way. Sometimes it builds slowly.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes it follows difficult experiences, loss, prolonged stress, or major
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  Speaker 1: life changes. Or hell, maybe all of the above. And
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  Speaker 1: sometimes it develops for reasons that aren't immediately obvious. But
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  Speaker 1: just because you can't explain your pain doesn't mean your
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  Speaker 1: pain isn't real. Let me say that one more time.
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  Speaker 1: Just because you can't explain your pain does not mean
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  Speaker 1: your pain is not real. You do not have to
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  Speaker 1: prove that you're struggling before you deserve compassion. You don't
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  Speaker 1: have to fall apart in front of everybody before someone
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  Speaker 1: takes you seriously. And you shouldn't have to reach out
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  Speaker 1: to someone before your breaking point to ask for help.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Because the person who's smiling might be fighting a battle
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  Speaker 1: you know absolutely nothing about. And ladies and gentlemen, here's
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: something else that we need to understand. Depression doesn't always
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: mean somebody is walking around crying all day. Sometimes depression
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: looks like anger. Sometimes it looks like frustration. Sometimes it
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  Speaker 1: looks like being short-tempered with people you love because you
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: have absolutely nothing left in your emotional tank. You wake
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  Speaker 1: up tired. You go to work tired. You come home tired.
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  Speaker 1: and somebody asks you one simple question, and suddenly you
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  Speaker 1: feel like you could lose your mind. Not because that
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  Speaker 1: question was unreasonable, but because you've been carrying so much
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  Speaker 1: for so long that one more thing feels overwhelming. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: depression looks like withdrawing from people. You stop answering phone calls.
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  Speaker 1: You leave messages unread. You turn down invitations. You stop
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  Speaker 1: doing the things you used to enjoy. And eventually, people
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  Speaker 1: start asking, what's wrong with you? Why don't you ever
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: want to do anything anymore? And you might not even
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: know how to answer them. Maybe you want to go out,
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  Speaker 1: but the thought of getting dressed, driving somewhere, making conversation,
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  Speaker 1: and pretending everything is okay feels exhausting. Maybe you miss
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: your friends. Maybe you don't have the energy to explain
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  Speaker 1: why you've been distant. Maybe you want to enjoy yourself,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: but even when you're doing something you used to love,
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  Speaker 1: you just don't feel the same excitement. And that can
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  Speaker 1: be frightening. Because you start wondering, what is happening to me?
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  Speaker 1: What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel like
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  Speaker 1: myself anymore? You remember the person you used to be.
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  Speaker 1: You remember laughing without having to force it. You remember
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  Speaker 1: looking forward to things. You remember waking up with a
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  Speaker 1: little more energy and enthusiasm. And now you're wondering where
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  Speaker 1: that version of yourself went. If you've experienced that, I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: want you to understand something. You're not weak because you're struggling.
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  Speaker 1: You're not a failure because you don't feel like yourself.
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  Speaker 1: You are not broken beyond repair because life feels different
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  Speaker 1: right now. Depression is a real mental health condition. It
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  Speaker 1: is not simply a bad mood, a lack of gratitude,
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  Speaker 1: or a decision to be negative. And it deserves to
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  Speaker 1: be taken seriously. Now, I want to talk about something
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: that people don't always understand. You know, responsibilities don't disappear
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  Speaker 1: just because you're depressed. The bills still arrive. The alarm
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: still goes off. Your house still needs attention. Your family
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: still needs you. And if you have a job, you
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: still have to figure out how to get up, get dressed,
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  Speaker 1: and show up. The world doesn't necessarily slow down just
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: because you're having a difficult time mentally. And that can
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: make depression even harder. Imagine waking up in the morning
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  Speaker 1: after barely sleeping. Your mind has been going all night.
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  Speaker 1: Replaying conversations. Worrying about the future. Thinking about money. Thinking
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: about work. Thinking about everything you need to do. You
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: finally fall asleep. And a few hours later, that alarm
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  Speaker 1: goes off. And you just lie there. You just lie
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  Speaker 1: there thinking about And you look at the ceiling thinking,
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  Speaker 1: I really don't know how I'm going to do this today.
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  Speaker 1: But you get up anyway. You put your feet on
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  Speaker 1: the floor. You get dressed. You make your coffee. You
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: head out the door. And when somebody asks, how are
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  Speaker 1: you doing? You know what you say? I'm good. Because
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  Speaker 1: what else are you supposed to say? I feel emotionally exhausted.
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  Speaker 1: And I have no idea how I'm going to make
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  Speaker 1: it through the day. or at least the next eight hours.
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  Speaker 1: Let's be real. Most people are not going to say
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: that at work. They're going to put on their professional
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: face and try to get through the day. Now, let
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: me be clear. Being tired or having a rough morning
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: doesn't automatically mean somebody is depressed. We all have difficult days.
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  Speaker 1: But when low mood, emptiness, loss of interest, fatigue, Hopelessness
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  Speaker 1: or difficulty concentrating persists and interfere with everyday life. Those
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  Speaker 1: can be signs that someone needs support. And here's the problem.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: People sometimes judge what they can't see without considering what
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  Speaker 1: they cannot. They see somebody missing a deadline and they
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: assume that person's lazy. They see somebody becoming quiet and
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: they assume that person has an attitude. They see somebody
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  Speaker 1: canceling plans, and they assume that person doesn't care. But
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  Speaker 1: what if that person is struggling just to get through
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  Speaker 1: the day? What if they're trying harder than anybody realizes?
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  Speaker 1: What if the thing that you call laziness is actually
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  Speaker 1: a person who needs help and doesn't know how to
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  Speaker 1: ask for it? You need to be careful about the
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  Speaker 1: labels you put on people because we don't always know
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  Speaker 1: the whole story. And that's important. We don't always know
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  Speaker 1: the whole story. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're out there
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  Speaker 1: and if you're suffering with depression, Please talk with someone.
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  Speaker 1: Please get the help that you need. Please reach out
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  Speaker 1: for help. But that is going to do it for
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  Speaker 1: today's episode. I greatly appreciate you being here. I appreciate
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: you listening. Please be kind to each other because you
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: don't know what that person might be going through. Thank you.