Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Griffin Reilly - Earning Respect & The Golden Rule

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Griffin Reilly - Earning Respect & The Golden Rule · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is my dad Joe.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to season seven.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about uh the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're on our quest to reach a thousand dads uh impacted.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, hopefully a lot more than that, but a thousand dads interviewed.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, which means we got we got some more time, everybody.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I need your support.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um our next gentleman I met through the wide world of LinkedIn.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was lucky enough to be a guest on him on his podcast.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he is a strategic account executive at Reliance AI, a data privacy and security startup in the Bay Area, doing some fantastic things.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: He also is the host of the Elite Selling Podcast.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: He might be Iggy the Lion or he might be a gator.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna find out.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: But he's a sharpshooter from three-point line.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: He played overseas, but none of that is has to do with why we're gonna have Griffin Riley on the podcast here.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: But if we're gonna learn about Griffin the Dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, Mr.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Riley, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me, Casey.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: What an intro.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: First take, too.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if we were gonna do it before.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: If we were gonna do a smoke machine, this would be the time to do it because everybody, you can't see Griffin, but I can, and he's moving.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so now this would be a time to just blast the smoke machine and then you come out of the clouds and thunderstruck or something.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what would be your walk-up song when you're a gator?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what was hot in 2012?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of Drake, a lot of uh Kendrick Lamar, uh, I think all of the above would uh a lot of a lot of that, a lot of that would have worked.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: But I always liked, you know, what is the song from the 80s with the great guitar?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's uh oh my gosh.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thunderstruck?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's not Thunderstruck.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I know Thunderstruck.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's one that's uh something for money.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Money.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, your checks for free.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Money, yeah.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Dire straits solid.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think that I I don't think you can beat that for a walkout song.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Just the guitar, no words.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: That would be that is elite, hence the elite selling podcast.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's you guys do an intro.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh tell me the last time that you actually got referenced as Iggy the line or a gator.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know what?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: I had a conversation earlier this week.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was a walk-on at uh Loyola Marymount.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually connected with another walk, a current walk-on at LMU who is looking to kind of transition into his next thing.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like so happy to chat with him.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I told him the LMU walk-ons, we got to stick together.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it was earlier this week.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Send send the elevator back down.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Griffin, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: I had it, I had a chance to listen to the podcast ahead of time.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew this question was gonna come, and so I've got two.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: So number one is my kids' health.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I'm anytime I think about, and we talked about first world problems and trips and you know, stuff not going the right way.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I always just try and bring it back to the fact that I've got two healthy kids, a boy and a girl.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like sometimes I've just hit the hit the lottery with with two very healthy kids.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um when I see friends or people post on LinkedIn about, you know, kids that have you know gone through things.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know your daughter had her ACL tear, and that's you know, uh, she's got gonna be healthy soon.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we're, you know, uh good for that.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: But just very happy that I've got two healthy kids.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: So that's number one.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then number two is uh very grateful to be on uh the podcast today talking about being a dad because I'm friends with all of my friends are dads, all of my best friends are dads, and I think it's the biggest part of their lives that we don't get to talk about a lot.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm grateful for the opportunity to just share my uh experience.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the thing I'm that's what actually I love about this doing this podcast seven years later now is we all have, I mean, you could be a stay-at-home dad, a garage garage door opener, yeah, salesperson, you could be a teacher, you could be a pro athlete.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids don't care, everybody.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Your male ego says they care, but they don't.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: What they care about is can we get ice cream?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can I go to Sally's house?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can we can we get burgers tonight?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, okay, can you catch?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Can you rebound for me, Dad?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I took my daughter out who's she's four.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: I took her for lunch yesterday for midday, midday lunch, uh, had a break, and I was lucky and I was uh very grateful that I got to take her out for lunch.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know she'll remember that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So that was that was awesome because that's the stuff I remember about my dad and my mom was the special little unplanned impromptu lunch dates.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yeah, keep doing those things, man.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I as someone with an almost 20-year-old and an almost 18-year-old, time goes by fast.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe it.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Looking 20 or 18.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, Casey.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Come on.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's crazy.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, what I'm most grateful for is um for the first world problems.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're we're we're thinking about taking a trip, and uh, I'm I'm grateful that I have an opportunity to control my mindset with my family, and we're gonna figure this thing out and either we'll do something together, but I can't control the weather, so I'm not gonna let it get me all wound up and not let it ruin what we ever we decide to do.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And um because I get 1,440 minutes.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get more, I don't get less, so I'm gonna choose to maximize those minutes as the most positive and um sane and grounded and level-headed I can can be because that's what my family deserves.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it's awesome.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, bring me inside the Riley Huddle.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're playing quarterback.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're a hooper, but you're playing quarterback.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing your wife might be the GM.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me about the squad.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: How'd you guess?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, the the Riley Huddle right now, if you can see, you know, you can see, but the audience can't, it's totally empty right now.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So we are in the middle of a move.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh nothing crazy, just to a different, different spot in the in the Bay Area, which was where I'm born and raised.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so one pocket of the Bay Area to a little bit further south, which is where my wife grew up, a little bit more in the country, um, which I'm very excited about.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, yeah, I've got uh, you know, myself, my wife, um, who we've been married for coming up on wow, this is great timing.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, seven years.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I've got to get her an anniversary gift.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Our anniversary is this month, so thank you for the reminder.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I've got two young kids.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a four-year-old daughter, Vivian, and a two-year-old son, Georgie.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And tell me how you and your wife met.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I remember like it was yesterday.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, this is so funny.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: My wife and I met through mutual friends.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was uh in between playing basketball overseas.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was actually coaching basketball at Menlo College up in the Bay Area up the peninsula.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't pay a lot of money when you're coming out of college uh coaching on the sidelines.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Assistant coach looks good on a resume, but does not pay as well as you'd think it was it does.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I was bartending uh at a uh, you know, local spot in in uh Los Gatos, which is where I'm from, uh in that area.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I was bartending.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, my whole family came in.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was the day after Christmas, 2013.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: My whole family came in.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm from a big Irish Catholic family.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: They're all local to San Jose.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: They came in and said, Hey, when you're done with your shift around midnight, why don't you come down to the local Irish pub and grab a beer with us?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And said, Perfect.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I I went down, met my whole family.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and oh my gosh, my wife was there with her friend, who I knew, my brother and I knew.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Her friend came over, said hello to my brother and I.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then two minutes later, after she left, my her the friend walked back over with my wife and she goes, Hey Griffin, this is Olivia, and grabbed my brother and walked away.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew I knew she wanted to talk to me.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, Okay, here we go.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Don't mess this up.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was a you know, and that was it.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's how we met.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh very cool.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And how long did you guys date before you got married?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, we dated from 2014 to got engaged in 2017, married in 2019, so about five years.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, love, man.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we got so you said a four-year-old and two-year-old.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, are they showing interest in any activities yet?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like what oh my gosh.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my daughter is my daughter, you know, thinks she's a dog.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: She is like full in dog mode 24-7.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty funny.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so she's very into animals.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: She loves all animals.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's particularly excited anytime she meets a new dog.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: So dog parks, everything in dogs, she's all about.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: She loves horses as well, uh, which could be good or bad, could be expensive down the road, but we'll see.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yes, she she's uh and she loves to swim.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's her big thing.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: She anytime we get to go swimming, that's that's her favorite thing.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then my son, um, you know, I don't have to push him too hard into sports.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's more just like jumping off stuff.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: He's he loves to climb, he loves to jump, he loves trucks.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and anytime he shoots a basket, you know, my heart explodes.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, oh my gosh, he's uh he has it.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: The force is strong within him.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we've got the little Tyques hoop set up at the house.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, he's he's he's my guy.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I tell you, man, seeing my kids both my son played tons of sports growing up, but I'm glad that he's he he got into golf and he's a better golfer than I am, which I love.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then my daughter, she got into hoop way better.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: She's like 85, 90 three throw three uh free throw shooter, 35 plus three-point shooter.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um sharp shooter, yeah.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so like I get just crushed in horse.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and now like my son, he he went out.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: We played last weekend, he was home for like four days.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: He had a horrible front nine for him.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: He shot 41.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, that's such a good front nine for me.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: On the back nine back nine, he shot 32.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So man, it was like, and I love when my I was telling grandpa yesterday, he and I played yesterday afternoon.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I love when my son, your grandson, beats me.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the best.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want, I don't want to be beating him anymore.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want him to just freaking step on my throat and give it to me.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's the best.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Means it did our job.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I still play hoops with my dad sometimes.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: He's 67 um and he lives in the area.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: And he will get up and down, but he, you know, a couple years, he's lost a couple steps or so.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but he still gets out there and uh, you know, it's fun.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I play with my brother, we we play, so it's fun.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't play hoops because of two very important fitness goals, which Griffin are do not get fat and do not get hurt.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'll I'll play horse and people are gonna call me a wuss.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I'm I'm not playing pickleball.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not blowing Achilles.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I've not picked up a pickleball paddle.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's funny that you say that I I just hurt my shoulder on Tuesday night.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: I was on a hot streak.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll take a shoulder over a knee or an ankle or a calf or anything like that.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is okay.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: A busted wing.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: That that'll live with.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I totally hear you.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh, you know, it's so fun until you have one of those moments where, you know, you gotta take a little sideline and a little uh you know, humble pie.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my late 30s, mid-30s to late 30s, and then early 40s, I was like really into CrossFit.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just like loved it.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love the competitiveness, I love the camaraderie.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden I'm just getting, I mean, I was in the ER like two or three times with back issues.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm like because of CrossFit?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think all the football.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then and then doing deadlifts and freaking crazy up stuff, which I should not be doing, but I was doing anyways and having fun.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I found myself, why am I why are you getting hurt, dude?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna join the Russian powerlifting team.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, chill out.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like, what do you want to do?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I want to play golf, then do things that allow you to play more golf.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad I had my ego check to do that.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right, man.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to I want to rewind the tape and I want to go back to what was life like growing up for you and um talk about the impact mom and dad had on you now that you're a dad as you reflect.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh okay, so life growing up for me.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh like I mentioned, born and raised in San Jose.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I grew up in a little suburb of San Jose.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm one of four children.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: I have an older sister and two younger brothers.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um we had an awesome childhood.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I shared a room with my two brothers.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, sister got her own queen, you know, room.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it was it was really good for my brothers and I are still really close today.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, one lives down the street, one lives down in Southern California that I love to go visit, and my sister lives down the street.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: So we're all still really close.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um what was life like growing up?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: We were all yeah, we all leaned towards athletics.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: My dad is an athlete, my mom was an athlete in gymnastics, my dad was a basketball and a rugby player.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: So naturally, we all went into uh into sports.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: My sister played volleyball in college.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was uh, you know, in high school, I played basketball in high school and college.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: My brother played football in high school, and then my brother, my youngest brother was a basketball player in high school and in college.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: So we were all, you know, we all loved the sports, any sport you could play.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: We were we were in tournaments, traveling.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we were we were definitely not the most studious of the Riley household, but we were definitely uh anybody on the court anytime, anywhere.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that was our kind of our focus.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we and but you know, a ton of friends in the area.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: My my aunts, uncles all live in the in the South Bay.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so big, big Irish Catholic family, uh, very close knit, and still to this day.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not kidding you, as we were recording this, I peeked out.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: My aunt approached the door.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: She lives down the street, and she saw that I'm on a meeting, and so she's like, okay, I'll see you later.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that's just we just have family literally everywhere.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, which I love.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's like the best.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: You want I mean, you want that.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so your dad, Hooper, and a rugby player.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Where did he play rugby?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Loyola Marymount.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I followed in his footsteps.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so did my sister.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: My sister was uh at volleyball at LMU.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: So we grew up going down to Los Angeles.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, it's about a five-hour drive or a one-hour flight to LA and going to see, you know, his friends from LA that are still down there.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, he was big in the alumni network.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and so LMU was definitely something that was always on our radar growing up.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be interesting if your dad's ever heard of this name, a guy named Robert Paler.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Robert Paler.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta ask him.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: He is he was on about a month ago on my show.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay, no way.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I met him.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: He played rugby at University Cal.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And um his story is cr really, really inspiring.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: He was actually paralyzed in the national championship game.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Rugby.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: No way.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wrote a book about it called Paralyzed to Powerful.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And got they said the guy would never walk again.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: They say he would never have kids.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he's his he has a four five-month-old now.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: And he walks with a walker.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, so if your dad's into rugby, which your historic will resonate, could be a good like uh Father's Day gift or something.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would text him right now, but then he would never stop texting me and he'd probably call me and he might pop in.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll I'll wait until after the episode's over.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so mom a gymnastic, you said?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but she was more she she grew up doing gymnastics, but it wasn't like she played it, you know, she didn't do that in in college.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she was very supportive of our athletic endeavors.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but she was we she was famous for anytime my dad would uh we'd be in the car, he'd be grilling us on our on our performance or lack thereof, and she would chime in with uh, you looked really cute in that uniform though.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: So she that was her, she loved kind of sticking it to my dad, like, why are you taking this so seriously?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like these are kids.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, love my mom.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: She was always she was always our biggest fan.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me the values that mom and dad taught you if you had to think of two or three that come to mind.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um my dad 100% was all about hard work.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's really what he tried to instill in us 100% was hard work and um I think the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: My dad always was surrounded by friends and he was always really friendly with everybody, and he very valued relationships.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was probably the biggest thing that I took from my dad growing up.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if he was trying to instill that, but his value of relationships with the people that he worked with, his friends from college, he was always the one that was organizing the reunions of his friends from high school, friends from college.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: He would host reunions in reunions at his house.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: We would go on camping trips with his coworkers' families.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was, you know, I grew up, didn't know that these people he worked with and was doing business with, these I thought these were just our family friends.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the the the relationships and the value there 100%.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then hard work.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, oh my gosh.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's a simple task of cleaning the garage, right?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, I try and get through it as quickly as I possibly could so I could go play, you know, basketball or whatever.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And he would, he would not let me off the hook until it was, you know, perfectly clean.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that that putting your name on your work, I think was kind of his what he was trying to instill was you need to be able to put your name on the work that you do.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like you, you, you, you cannot shortcut, you cannot half ass.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was kind of his his big challenge with us as kids is because we had the so many things at our fingertips that we wanted to go do, and he was just trying to get us to focus.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then just to have fun.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he knew how to have fun.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that was on the dad's side of the house.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: He knew he really knew how to have fun and let the hair down and not think take things too seriously, especially now in his retirement.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: He is uh he's Mr.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Have a Good Time.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: So that's that's on the dad's side.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: On the mom's side, her big thing was um no fighting, no, no fighting with the siblings.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like she had a really tumultuous upbringing with her um parents, and her mom died when she was really young, and her siblings that affected her relationship with her siblings, and they, you know, they didn't get along great.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: So her biggest thing was you need to be best friends with your siblings.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so she succeeded there because we're all really good friends now.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my my brothers are my best friends, my sister.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: We I spend more time with my sister and her husband and their kids than anybody.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that was her biggest thing was treat you, you know, you really got to value your relationships with your siblings.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she she definitely also liked to have a good time, and she was definitely um made sure that we had a really good time with our friends and um just valued being kids, right?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think she knew my dad was really pushing us athletically, and she wanted us to kind of have time to just be kids.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: So that was that was fun.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's um there's there's there's a lot there as you think about um like those stories of of hard work or the the stories that your your your the values your mom taught you, can you think of like um a story that comes to mind where you had to either learn that through m messing up as a kid that you'll think about sharing with your your your kids when as they get a little older?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, 100%.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh that was the the story of my childhood, I'd say my adolescence.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: So from 13 to you know 18, 19 was constantly making mistakes and messing up and not taking things as seriously as I should have.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was pretty um, I don't want to sound like I was pretty naturally, you know, just kind of things evolved for me, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Things doors would open naturally because I I wasn't a my dad would say I'm not a bad guy and I'm not, you know, uh anyway, I'm not a bad guy.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: So things would just naturally happen.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so he was trying to install that work ethic.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say, um there's not, there's there's many athletic events, there's many times where I'd work on the house or I would I would shortcut.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you a perfect example.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you the perfect example.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm going from my senior freshman year of college at Loyola Marymount to my sophomore year.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't walked on the basketball team, I wasn't in a fraternity, I wasn't really doing anything at LMU.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: So my dad was like, what are you doing?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: What are you what are you committing to?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: What are he wasn't he hadn't really seen that kind of like commitment to one specific thing.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it was basketball and I was like ready to try out, but he needed to see the commitment.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so he went on a family, he went on a vacation for like a month to Ireland and he's like, Here's your task.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm giving you a month.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: You have to paint this house that's behind our house that he had bought.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Your job is to paint this house.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have to figure out how to do it.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: You have you and your brother, you're the project manager.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Your brother is gonna be your associate, who is my younger brother, and you have to figure out how to do this.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: When I come home, if this house is painted, I will pay for your tuition for LMU and I will figure, you know, we'll do all this stuff.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: If not, we're gonna have to figure out you're either going.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Junior college, etc.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And um of course I waited until the last minute.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: I did most of the prep work, but I waited to the last minute to paint.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: And at first glance, he looked at it and it was like from the outside, he's like, okay, this looks good.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: But as he inspected it, he noticed that I didn't reattach the gutters.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: I there was a couple minor things that I didn't do on the outside.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought I did a pretty good job.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: The house was technically painted, but I had some stuff I needed to finish up.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And we he took me out for dinner and we had a really long conversation.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it was essentially like, I'm really worried about you because I keep giving you opportunities to show up.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, and here I'm thinking, I thought he was gonna bring me out to dinner and say, good job.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, You're you're skipping steps.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just see you skipping steps.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that that really stuck with me of like, I don't want to be known as the guy that skips steps.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be the guy that looks for the easy way out.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be the guy, and that's that's something that I'm really gonna have to work on with my kids.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't want to see them do that where that's just um, they try to look for the easy way out.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's part of maturing.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's part of being a teenager and focusing on, you know, the the opportunities that you have in front of you and not letting them slip away.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've certainly let a few slip out of my fingertips, and so now I'm sensitive to that and I really try not to take things for granted.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was that's kind of a key takeaway that uh that has always stuck with me.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: That uh speaks to me, man, because I uh we have that in common.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was I was I was a dipshit um and um didn't have to work super hard but until I but then once I bel saw some bul either someone showed belief in me, that's right.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: So the whole sports thing kind of helped get me back on track.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's so awesome.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just wasn't I didn't work that hard.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really like school.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Was the person who showed belief in you someone other than your dad?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there you go.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a humongous.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: I had not had, I had a really tough time with my coach in high school.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: I had a really tough time with making an impact on my coach in college.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: He kind of put me in the lane of the walk-on.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was like, what am I doing here?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just the I'm as happy being the guy on the team, but there was one guy who was just outside the program who showed, he's like, you can really do this.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you really stick your mind to it.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: You I know friends that have gone over, played basketball overseas, and you have that ability.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to go do that, you can do that.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that was for me all it took was so somebody other than my dad saying, You have the ability, you can do this.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that was like a light switch for me.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that's it.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I'm gonna do.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna, I don't care if I'm making no money, I don't care if I do this.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: My one thing I'm gonna check off the buck, the bucket the list is I'm gonna go play for a team overseas, and that's it.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: And people laughed at me, they're like, dude, you're a walk-on.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I I connect with that.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the hopefully by you saying that and even saying and coaching yourself right now, like, yeah, think about when the time's right when you can find that person outside the home to help your son and daughter.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I learned that from a dad um who I interviewed, who's a high school coach locally here.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: He he talked about confidence.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: He said confidence in his experience is built one person inside the home, one person out.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um and um, but I want to go back to your your your painting story because it's funny.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I painted our house and it was so shitty.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: My dad didn't even see, he said, just get out of here.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: You freaking ended up finishing it, but like he gave us a lot of opportunities.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember having a paper out when I was a kid.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: That was that was my jam or working at a moving company in college.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was awful experience.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: But like, so when you're you're you're painting and you you triggered, like when you when you stopped, like maybe just kind of the laissez faire lifestyle, and you finally like the your hard work genes kicked in.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you remember that?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Was there a tipping point for you?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: It always would come back to basketball.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I stopped making excuses my senior year, and I I was like, you expect it's kind of like that quote, you know, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: I always just thought, oh, if I just keep showing up and doing what I'm doing and playing hard, uh, coaches will recognize and see that.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: My dad always said, you have to be your like biggest advocate for yourself.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: You have to have conviction and you can't just sometimes you can't just hope it.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: You have to speak it and you have to live it.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: And there was he always brought it back to his life when he was in junior college and he was on the end of the bench and he he would just tell this story over and over again, and it was it just drive me nuts.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I've heard this story a hundred times, where he went into his coach's office and made his case of why he should be starting.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: And the coach goes, you know what?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: You should be starting.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're starting tonight.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought it was so like cliche and joke.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, there's this is ridiculous.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: But then one time I built up enough courage to finally see senior year go into my coach's office.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew I wasn't gonna start.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: All I wanted was an opportunity to get off the bench.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I went into his office and I said, Look, coach, I'm doing all the things that you've asked me to do.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not asking to start.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really not.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just what what do you need to see from me to get on the court?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like I really just want to play.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: I keep, I keep, you know, showing up early.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm staying late.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: You see me, I'm the last one to leave, putting up shots.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're not asking me to do it.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to do it.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to keep playing, and that's what I want to do.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: I want to keep getting better.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: Is there something I'm not doing?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that's, I swear to God, I wanted to call my dad.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: I called my dad and I was like, God damn it, it worked.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because he was like, you know what, man?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're doing it.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're, I'm, I'm gonna, you're gonna play.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: You will get you.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I can't tell you when it's gonna happen, but you're gonna get called in at the in the next game.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then you, it's up to you to actually make a difference in that game.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: To I can get you in, but you have to play to stay in.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: But just me getting in the game in you know, in actual minutes time, not at the end of uh a Gonzaga blowout, right?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that was it for me.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like sometimes you have to just if you want something, you got to ask for it.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was for me a really big turning point.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, you have to sell yourself.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like that, you know.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: My first entrance into sales, like cold outbound, was I put a video clip together of my time at San Francisco State.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I did three years at LMU, one year at San Francisco State.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're a D2 program.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so anyway, I put a clip together and I just emailed, I found this database of agents that placed players overseas.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I must have emailed 200 agents, but I'm selling, hey, here's my here's my stats, here's my I'm 6'5, I'm this, I'm that, and you know, to the I just cold outbound to 200 people, and I probably only heard back from three of them.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And one of them got back to me and said, I have a spot for you in Spain, but you got to be on a plane tomorrow.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm done.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on a plane, I'll pay for it myself.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Where am I going?
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't 10 months, perfect.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that was it.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, I try to tell people like a lot of a lot of guys that were much better than me were just waiting for the call.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm waiting for an agent to just call me and say, Hey, do you want to do you want to play in the NBA?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think you, you know, you've been sitting on the couch for six months.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've been waiting, I've been waiting for you.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work like that.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: You you kind of have to go out and put yourself out there and be able to face rejection.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I think that's where a lot of people, you know, they they take that for granted.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, that was kind of like my first entrance into not only hard work, you gotta, you have to fight for yourself.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: What what I what I take of that story, Griffin, that I I think it's really important for dads to do is to instill belief in their kids and to never uh keep dreaming.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna hear, uh, and I've shared this a lot.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have one of my buddies um does a really good job of this um with his kids when they were younger.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: But like one of my my son's best friends, he was he still plays hockey in like the junior program.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's trying to figure out what he's gonna do, like try to get to like a college or just but like when he was a kid, he was gonna play for the Angels.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he was gonna play for the Ducks, and then he'd when he can, he'd fit he'd fit in a few PGA tour tournaments just in between.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And his dad was like, Yeah, why wouldn't you?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a guy named John Forzland who's the Seattle Kraken play-by-play guy.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was lucky to interview him three years ago.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, his dad would let him announce the game at home, he'd put it on mute, let his dad's buddies come over, and his dad said, Sure, you can do it.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: He would literally was announcing it back then.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like so cool.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you like, but I think when we as parents we try to either live vicariously through them, yeah, or we put our own mistakes on them or our own lack of ability on them, or what we think they should be doing or not.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can say, man, I was talking to this about my son kids yesterday with my father-in-law.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: The number one thing that I if I could go back and I was 30 years old and I had a kid, my first kid, which is the number one most important thing are they happy?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do I did I want them to be athletes?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thousand percent, because I'm an athlete.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now I loved watching my kids compete.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh luckily I still get to watch my son play golf in college and my daughter's gonna play hoop in college.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: But are they happy?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's like I don't know, I'm you inspired something to me to share that with you, but like I think it's like too many kids dads, I just don't see us focusing on that enough.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's my that's a big fear of mine is that I come on that I'll come on too strong with my son um because I can see the potential, and he's two.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what sometimes I have to catch myself, like, what am I thinking?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this kid is two years old, like slow down, dude.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: He's two years old, just let him be a kid.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's I think the I have to just constantly remind myself, maybe, you know, and and I think what my dad did that I want to also do with my kids is he, yes, he loved basketball, but he wanted me to go into every sport possible.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we were kids, we Tony Hawk was everything to us.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: We were humongous skateboarders.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: We skateboarded everywhere everywhere we went, we brought our skateboards.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of dads can see that and say, oh, well, that's not the traditional athletic path.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like my dad built us a half pipe in our in our driveway.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the kind of thing I want to do for my kids is just enable and you, okay, that's what you're into.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, my my brother was a football guy, but he was also into children's musical theater as a kid.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he did multiple plays.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like he's and now lives in LA and is wants to be a writer.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so my parents pushed him into children's musical theater.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not just athletics, it's kind of you gotta let the I hope that I will take that from my parents and whatever they say they want to do, push, help push them into that, help them give them opportunities.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacks with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want to take a minute to introduce our newest sponsor on this podcast, which is the Five Coat Consulting Group, led by the one and only David Fivecoat.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, as you know, we talk a lot about on this show about what it means to be intentional as dads, fathers, and leaders, about showing up when people are counting on us.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the biggest challenges is how do we get people truly aligned when things get hard?
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I think David and the Five Coat Consulting Group is worth knowing more about.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, who is David?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he's a dad, he's a retired army colonel, and he's a former guest on the quarterback dad cast.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: He also is the founder of the Five Coat Consulting Group.
• 33:22
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• 33:31
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• 33:35
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• 33:48
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• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Stay curious, man, and uh listen.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Usu use your sales, your sharp sales skills.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'd say though, the one have you heard of a guy named Bruce Brown?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, but you because I listened to a podcast that you did, he's the athletic director from your town, right?
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Not my town.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: He was not up north, but he wrote an article called The Car Ride Home.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: The car Yes, right.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: For those that don't know, we're talking about if there's a dad out there listening, make sure you add this to your your repertoire because I would read that article, Griffin, every before every season I coached.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah for years from like ages seven through 14.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: When I ran a basketball organization, I sent it out to the families.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it's I mean, a lot of us dads, like your dad was guilty of it, unfortunately.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I would I was guilty of it at times.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: My a lot of parents are as they get the kids in the car and they just freaking light them up.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: The joke I always say is imagine if you have a bad day at Reliance, is your is your mom or dad saying, Hey Griffin, you normally type like 44 words a minute, you're down to 22, man.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that voice money left at 1047 sucked.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why you said some man, some bad words, and you were just we we all have bad days, but we as parents think we want to just like, oh, we got him in our zone now, we can just let them have it.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what this article talks about is uh they interviewed so many, so many high school athletes, college athletes, and they said, Hey, what's what's your worst memory as a kid with sports?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: And they said, the car ride home.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they said, What's your best memory?
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: They said, Watching grandma and grandpa come play.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, come watch me.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, why?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because they all they would say is I love watching you play.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I tried, I tried that.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, this seems kind of weird.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do this.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: And they the what Bruce talks about is like paraphrasing, he goes, if your kid really cares about what they're gonna do, they'll bring it up to you.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and so even now in college when Ryder gets done golfing, I don't I don't say, Hey, what'd you shoot?
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: He'll tell me.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: And now that was true, I was really bad at that in high school.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: He'd get home from practice, hey, what'd you shoot?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes he may didn't want to tell me.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so probably on accident, I was creating moments of anxiety for him.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like if he shit the bed at practice, you know, he's got, oh my god, I gotta tell my dad's five.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, 100%.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's uh, I definitely remember the car rides home.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: I am gonna remember to dial it back.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I need to read that article because I think it's uh the yeah, the belief, the confidence, I think that um can sometimes backfire when you come on too strong.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's it's uh but as a parent, you you know, you it's coming from, I think that's where the parents like it's coming from such a good place that you want your kid, you're like, you're so much better than this.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not what they hear.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: They hear, oh, dad's pissed.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, dad's pissed.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I've you know, it's been hour-long car rides where not one word is said, and I'm like, oh my God.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: I know he, you know, looking backwards, I know what he's thinking, and I know his uh, you know, he's my biggest supporter.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but oh my gosh, yeah.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh I used to ask, do you want me to be dad or do you want me to be coach?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: What role do you want me to play?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: And even sometimes, I mean, this that's why it's a journey.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I think it's I've I've actually got free therapy out of doing these episodes because I'm learning from other badges, I'm the host.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: But when you when you if if you're at if you're watching your kids' sports, and there I can think of times I did this where I was like getting so wrapped up in the outcome, I'm like, I'm not playing.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Chill out, dude.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I but just by telling myself, my my well, mainly my kids, but myself, I'd say, hey, guess what?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Dad has zero eligibility left.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if this isn't important to you, let me know now because I don't want to pay the money to have you play if you're not gonna give 100%.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: Success for me is a red face at the end of the game.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the other thing is I, you know, my kid is two of two and four now.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: What I I'm I'm terrified of what youth sports are gonna look like in 10 years.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really nervous, uh, you know, with basketball, especially basketball.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I keep hearing horror stories from my buddies that are in AAU in the system.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, part of me is like, should I step in and coach because I know I think I can really help?
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I gonna get you know trampled over and it's gonna be a bad experience?
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: But like um it's it's it's scary now because of how it's so much pressure on these kids that like some of them are it it almost I'm afraid that they burn out by the time they're 16.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're going to tournaments in New Orleans you know, and they're 11 years old.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like so you can impact it, man.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I think like I would have when I was the president of our basketball association, I tried to get parents out of it, but I would let guys like you coach because you played in college, right?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: Overseas.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: But imagine if you you can help be an influence.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you go in, you start your own basketball organization.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey, we're only gonna play in four tournaments.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: You get your son's best buddies, yeah, and but you let him play other sports.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like you gotta be selective.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: When he's when he's in, I bet six, he'll he'll be asked to travel on and you're spending thousands.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's a racket, dude.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I love the I my AAU journey with my daughter was so fun.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's funny.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: So fun.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there you go.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: But but I also what I don't like is going like we were in Chicago last year, a huge tournament.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: I had to pay like$180 for the weekend just to watch her.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wait a minute, I'm her dad.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: $180 just an entry fee.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's a racket.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's wild.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: And people keep paying it because they think Johnny and Johnny and Susie are you not gonna have your kid be on the team and you know, and his friends are and you know, miss out on this amazing opportunity where no college coaches are.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: That will I'd say that was the cool part, is like being in a gym with Gino and Don State Lee.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's pretty cool.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, no, they weren't looking at my daughter, but they were but just to be in the in the area is uh it's exciting.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, the first time I had a college coach come and play for me, that was uh very exciting.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I get that.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: I really I I do I'm empathetic there.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: The the challenge I have is um some of the system is I mean, there's it's a it's a full-on system now designed to drain parents of resources and time.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's that's what I and burn kids out.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: You got to be prepared for.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: You really got to be prepared for there's a lot of people that sit on the sidelines and are looking like, hey, I think your kid can make it all the way.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: Pay me$250 an hour and I'll make your kid a superstar pitcher, or I'll make your kid a superstar this and that.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, do you really want to?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: I can do that, but do you are you do you want to play in college?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like what's kind of your take?
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, I don't know.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's I think the biggest thing is that as an older dad, make it ever just like in sales, we want our clients' idea, just like me want it your kid's idea, whatever they're gonna do.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: 100% find it.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it always it comes back to asking questions of your and and not coming off as harping, but a genuine curiosity.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that's we talked about in the podcast we recorded as a superpower in sales is being genuinely curious.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's hey, do you really like this sport?
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: Are you are you just doing this because you think it's what I want?
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, would you rather should we go hit the hit the golf course?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Should we go skateboard, right?
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and focus on you know school, right?
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: What's what what you know?
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: My dad was not the most, he didn't really care so much about school as long as we weren't failing, right?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, was just what interests you, right?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: When I told him I was gonna change my major from business to sociology, he was just like, I don't, I don't care.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is that what you're interested in?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I I was shocked.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: I thought he was gonna be, you know, because he was a business major and I was like, You don't care?
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, No, I don't care.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then years later I went and got my MBA, but he was he was very he surprised me in that sense.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, just whatever you want to do.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you go, I just commit to it and tell me why you want it, why are you doing that?
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I I loved that that moment with him, and I was like, okay, I need to do this with my kid, is just be curious about what they're interested in and help them go that way.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love your pops already.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is this is not um people are probably gonna torch me for saying this, but I don't care.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just want my kid to pass.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, dude.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not I'm not saying I want laziness, I'm not saying I want D's and Fs.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I what I'd rather what I measure, I'd rather measure his success on does he ask good questions?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: Does he follow up?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: Is he a good friend?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: Does he bring energy to a room?
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing when the war of 1812 was is not gonna help him in those environments.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go ahead.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, and so like I just it I always tell like both my, and that's funny, my daughter's a 4.0 writer, she's actually a 3.8.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because I haven't put so much pressure on them.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: They're doing well.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you have to live with your outcome.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: As long as you as if you pass and you can look me in the mirror and look yourself in the mirror, and the guy upstairs saying, I tried my best, honestly.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're half asking it, God knows, and you and you're lying to yourself.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can, but I know there's times I tried myself and got a C minus in college, I was like, I was happy to get a C minus.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I environmental science, I'm not a frickin' weatherman.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know this stuff.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's all about the timing of and and I I I use the business school example, and I I failed these classes in college and I had to retransfer because I've had no business experience.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're 19 years old taking an accounting class and learning about um assets and stockholders' equity and liabilities, and that's like I have no concept of what this means relative to an actual business.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm of course, I'm not grasping this.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, there's kids that are just like regurgitating material, and that's that's great.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: But it took me a couple years in.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: The workforce to really grasp, okay, what what exactly is a balance sheet?
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: What exactly is uh how do you interpret, not just understand what's going on in a financial statement, but what does this mean for the business?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: And in high school, I was, I think somebody, I think it was Jalen Brunson's dad, who's the coach of the Knicks now.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: He's the player for the Knicks, and he was like, You get there's three things you can pick two.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: You can have school, sports, and uh a social life.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta pick two out, you can only have two.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I definitely pick sports and a social life.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess, you know, I don't, you know, that that like you said, you got to live with your outcomes.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_01: That definitely, I wasn't going to Stanford, wasn't getting into UCLA, wasn't getting into, you know, Harvard.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: But uh anyway, my point is I think it's all about timing and and meeting your kids where they're at.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I see that.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my kids are two and four, so you know, I guess.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, you're by you saying that, you're putting in, you're A, you're putting in the universe, and B, you're coaching yourself right now.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're putting that thought into your mind.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think thoughts become things.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: And um the words we say to ourselves matter.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we I think create the right, the right mindset in life.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: What would be um an area of your dad game, Griffin?
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: That obviously you're your newer dad, but like that might speak to another younger dad's lesson.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's an area of your dad game that maybe you're not quite happy with it?
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: That you know, like if you were coaching yourself, watching film, like man, this is an area I gotta I gotta improve my game.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what comes to that.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: Dad game.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: I can be a bit short.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can be a little bit impatient and a little when I I've noticed this about myself is when I get if I get scared, if something um you know, uh jump, I get I get jumpy scared.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like if if I hear a thud, like I feel like somebody fell, I I freak out.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: Whoa, fell, and I and I do worse damage, and I they get more scared of my reaction.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: So that and then and then I quickly am like, okay, you just freaked out.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Bring it, bring the tone back down.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, take a breath.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody's fine.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: But that short reaction of, you know, and when I get scared is is uh I'm sure my wife would echo that as well.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: I have to work on my just keep it.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're the rock, you're supposed to be the rock, and you have to keep kind of the neutral emotion sometimes for the kids because they're looking at you.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like my son will fall and he'll look at us to see our reaction before he starts crying.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like if he if he sees us freaking out, he starts, he starts crying.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if he falls, smacks his head, and we're laughing and we're like, oh, you're fine, he's like, Oh yeah, I'm okay.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: So that that sort of initial reaction, just knowing that uh things are gonna be okay, you know, in the especially in the moment, uh, could definitely, could definitely work on it.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would coach the younger dads, uh, especially with the newborn babies, they're not made of glass.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, obviously, be careful with them, but they're not made of glass, like they're gonna be okay.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're gonna be okay.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: When I was laughing, I was not laughing at you.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was laughing at myself because you brought me back to I remember I I made that same mistake as younger dad.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, I think as a competitive person, which I'm sure you are too, that's the the usually the uh um opposite of that is impatience.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so like you have these expectations, and so like I I well once I realized I I can't predict the future or control the future, so if I have like this envision of what's gonna happen, chill out.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes you're gonna get off schedule and you're not getting them down for a nap at 145.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, yeah.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, nap times definitely helped us big time, yeah.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: But there's sometimes you gotta go with flow, and I had to learn that the hard way as a display book.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um how did you get into sales?
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: What made you want to do that?
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um well, I always knew my basketball career would end.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think I got a lot of feedback growing up.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you I think you you kind of gravitate towards what you think you're gonna be good at, right?
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um and a lot of people just growing up, and I had a lot of, I was like I mentioned, very social, I had a lot of friends, and anecdotally people would say, you should get into sales.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like you should, you should, you should get into sales.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of listened to them at one point, and then I realized you can make a lot of money in sales as well.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to be a doctor, you don't have to be a lawyer.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: My dad was in commercial real estate, so that's selling, you know, arguably some of the hardest deals on the planet, and it's commission only.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I was really impressed with his career, and he was always um, you know, I looked at that as a very noble profession.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: So that's initially what I thought I was gonna, uh, you know, I interviewed for was commercial real estate.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I, you know, probably could have had a decent career in in commercial real estate.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um the COVID, you know, the the commercial real estate in the Bay Area has is gone like huge and then dipped through COVID and now it's kind of coming back, but it's up in the air.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: But my point with that was um, before I get into how I got into tech sales, I did interview for commercial real estate companies and uh, you know, CBRE, major commercial real estate shop up in the Bay Area.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: I go on site to interview after I'm done with uh basketball, put the suit and tie on, none of it fits.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sitting in the sitting in the getting interviewed.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm being interviewed by younger guy younger than me.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh great.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he went to the same high school as me.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, how'd you get this job?
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my dad works here.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: Next guy.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, your dad works here too, right?
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: Next guy.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, my dad works here too.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they all look like they were miserable.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they look like 50-year-old, sorry, 60-year-old, 25-year-olds, right?
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like Good catch, everybody.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 50.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, they look like they're not enjoying this very much.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a very, you know, 1990s kind of uh vibe of just you know, very dry, no one's talking to each other.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I just got really turned off.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: And by the before I even left the office, I got a phone call from my dad.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, why didn't you tell me you're going to interview with these guys?
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: I could have hooked you up with this guy.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you haven't caught up with this, I went to the same high school as my dad, I went to the same college as my dad.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: This was just one more thing I was gonna do that was kind of following his footsteps.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, I I owe it to myself to at least go interview somewhere else.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I had known some people in tech sales, and so I had gotten a few interviews at some companies up in San Francisco, and uh, you know, I kind of fell in love with the the culture and the wow, I I could really walk into this place and enjoy working here.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: People are happy, people are not suited and you know, uh up to the nines.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: They're working on important things, but they're also not taking themselves too seriously.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so that I just naturally gravitated towards in my I've always I haven't trusted a lot of much in my life, but my intuition has always been pretty good, like to follow your gut.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: And my gut was telling me, you know, commercial real estate was not really it, but I think I could do tech sales pretty well.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_01: I see these guys that um I know that I trust that are having a successful career.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let me go try this out.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: And again, growing up, um, the first time I ever thought I was ever gonna get into sales was like 10 years old.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you remember Beanie Babies?
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we my family had collected more than any family on the planet.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I went to each of my brothers and sisters, and it was just as it was kind of fading, and there was a place down the street that bought Beanie Babies.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, hey, why not I give you guys each like 10 bucks for all your beanie babies and I'm gonna go try and sell them?
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I bring it in with my buddy, and my buddy is playing the hard sell, and I'm kind of asking him more questions, and he I remember it today, he's like, I don't want to deal with you, I want to talk to you.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: I this is who I want to buy from.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I think I could be in sales.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that was my first kind of like entrance into this could be a uh you could have a career in sales.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, that's what got me into sales, and then I thought I wanted to get out when I went and got my MBA.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I wanted to get into finance.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was like not 100% sold on a career in sales.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, let me go, let me go get my MBA as a kind of a personal challenge because I didn't take school seriously.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew I was one that you're gonna have to tell my kids, like, you have to take school seriously, and they're gonna look at my if they pulled up the receipts and they saw my GPAs from high school and college, I couldn't have that.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, let me go get my MBA.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I got my MBA and I was like, wow, I really have it good in sales.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: I really you're at the forefront, you're the one on the front lines talking to clients, you're really helping them solve business problems.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: I loved learning about businesses.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_01: I still love it to this day.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: I still love getting going on site and meeting new people, taking people out to dinner.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the old, you know, I really like most of sales.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, not everything is great, but I really enjoy my career in sales.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: And uh the last thing I'll say just to prove the value that salespeople have, and a lot of sellers maybe feel like I don't have a ton of value lower on the totem pole.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: My first company that I worked for was a company called Barracuda in network and IT security.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_01: We were acquired by uh private equity in 2017, and on the first day of the new fiscal year of 2018, it was crazy.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: People were getting fired left and right, let go.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, it was like uh hard knocks, grab your laptop, grab your playbook, and bring it into the office.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Guy to my left, guy to my right, girl sitting right here, girl sitting back here, and it was just getting heads were rolling.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I asked my SE, who's like the SE leader who's been at the company for 10 years, he's in his 40s, and I was like, Do you think we're gonna get fired?
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think anybody else is gonna get fired?
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, Look around, look who's getting fired.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_01: Look who's but he most importantly said, Look who's not getting fired.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: None of the sales reps were getting fired.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: None of the sales engineers were getting fired.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Why do you why is that?
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, We're closer to the customer.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: The closer you are to the customer, the more value you have.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: You are literally bringing in revenue.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: They do not want to mess with that.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: They don't want to, you know, four letter word with that.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: They don't want to, they don't want to mess with you.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: So at that moment, I was like, wow.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was a bunch of middle line leaders, it was a bunch of partners and marketing and all this stuff, which they all have value.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: But at that moment, I was like, you can really lead from the front and have a great career as just a seller if you really want to.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that to me is like kind of my my why.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: What um if you think about the values that you and your wife are going to teach your kids, you can think you only can pick three that this top based on what we've talked about today, based on your upbringing, based on your wife's upbringing.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, tell me what comes to mind.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's so funny.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: We and I encourage uh couples married or dating to do this.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my and of course, all good things, all good ideas.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was my wife's.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: She had this like sheet of probably a hundred words on it.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: It was values.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was like all these different values that you care about.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like you fill out a sheet, and then I fill out a sheet.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: First, we pick our top 20, and then we pick our top 15, and then we pick our first top 10, and then we share like what was our overlapping 10, and then we narrow in on the top five.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: I can't 100% remember exactly, but I do remember um three, which were um respect.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_01: So very, very big on respect of your family, respect for others, respecting yourself.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think that's like humongous is respect.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I think in today's world, there's there's people take that for granted.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, I think it's anytime I see somebody in the locker room on their speaker phone, you know, anytime uh, you know, we're we're driving and people are cutting each other off.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, we just have to, as a society, respect each other a little bit more and not not just earn it, just hand it out, um, open the door for people, say yes sir, no sir, yes, ma'am, no ma'am.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's I think that's gonna be uh very big for my wife and I.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um love, I mean, love is something that my wife and I talk a lot about, right?
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Just leading with love.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: And um I I like I said, I'm a competitor, I I compete, but and I think a lot of times that is ego-driven.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of what we try and do is just catch ourselves and remove the ego and just try and lead with the heart.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that usually solves a lot of problems, is when you're just trying to lead with love.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then the last one is fun.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think that's the the we we're we're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, try not to take things too seriously and have fun with our kids because you know, these moments are fleeting, especially with our kids, is um just trying to have some fun, especially with with with your family.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so and then family would be the asterisk.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's like all of those things are kind of like family is the overarching thing.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like you only get one family, your family for life.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, my wife is her we're moving down to Morgan Hill, that's where her family's from.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's 30 minutes south of where we live now.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we're gonna go closer to her family, and my family is still gonna be close, but uh everything we do is built around our family.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: We could we could have moved to Florida, we could have moved to Texas, we could have moved, we got a Tennessee.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but what's the point if you're not near your family?
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's kind of our that's our that's our those are some of the values that we have.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_00: Respect, love, fun, family, everybody.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you're hope you're taking notes and and writing these things down like I am.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Griffin, as we wrap up here, tell me how can people learn more about you and Reliance?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: Uh LinkedIn is usually um a great place to start.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Reliance AI is uh is the company I'm currently at.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's a data privacy and data security startup.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm really enjoying the work that we're doing there.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_01: Go check us out on LinkedIn.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great place to start, or just reliance.ai.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um myself, yeah.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think LinkedIn is a really good spot.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: I do a decent amount of posting.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: You mentioned earlier, I have a podcast that I co-host with a buddy of mine.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: We started almost six years ago, um, where we interview sales leaders uh like Casey just to learn more.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: What does it take to be great?
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um one thing that you mentioned during our podcast a ton is hey, I wish I would have known this when I was younger.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we started the podcast is um we just want to kind of share, pay it forward, right?
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_01: Share with the next generation.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there's so many things that I wish that I knew when I first started in sales that if I had then, you know, it kind of, you know, maybe would help me close some more deals or just kind of have a little bit more confidence.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the biggest thing is when you first get into sales, you feel like a fish out of water, right?
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're this is a new game, you're going in front of clients, you're trying to close, and you don't really have that confidence.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think uh hearing from folks like yourself that have been there and done that, um, it really, really helps.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, go check us out on LinkedIn or or Spotify, the elite selling podcast, if you're interested.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_00: We'll make sure that's linked in the show notes, everybody.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Griffin, it's now time to go on what I call the lightning round.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I show you the negative hits have taken too many uh hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: And your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and I hope to get a giggle out of you.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_00: True or false, your go-to move at San Francisco State was a half-court hook shot.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: False.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh true or false, you loved wearing high white socks in all your games.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously?
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: Not all my games, so when I was overseas, I had these long white socks, and they were like my sick.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: It was so, it's like uh I don't know, I'm messing up the lightning around, but who's the player?
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Keith Van Horde.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: Cooper?
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Keith Van Horde.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I look like Keith Van Horde.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I had long hair to my shoulders and I had a headband.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'll show you the picture, I'll send the pictures.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're like the the the athletic Jesus.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Spanish Jesus, baby.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, all right, you're gonna take your wife on vacation.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: No kids.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me where you're taking her.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: London.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: If I came to your house right now, I know it's in shambles because you're moving, but if you if if it was nice and tidy, you're gonna make me dinner.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what we're having.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: Steak and potatoes.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh tell me the favorite business book you've ever read.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um favorite business book I've ever read.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: How to win friends and influence people is a classic.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's that's a classic.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's never gonna go out of style.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: Never gonna go.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: I love the old school stuff.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_00: Success leaves clues, everybody.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: These old school books still work and to today's age.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need AI to do those types of things.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you need AI for a lot of things, but not that.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um favorite comedy movie of all time is I'm gonna say super bad.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um if I have so many, but that's that's that's from my high school, so that's just this awesome.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta go to it, yeah.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: What you know.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_00: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um if there's a book written about my life, uh, lucky guy.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: So now Griffin, lucky guy, is every San Jose Airport, Sacramento, San Fran, freaking selling out.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: They're all sold out.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_00: Amazon's selling out, airport's sold out, Barnes Noble's sold out.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_00: So now they're gonna make a movie out of it.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, shit, we're gonna make a movie, make it easier.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're the casting director.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I need to know who is gonna star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: Aston.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_00: I could see that.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, good poll.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then last and most important question, tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_00: Smoking hot.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_00: Boom.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_00: Lightning round is complete.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we both giggled.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I think I laugh first, so I'll take the loss.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you the win.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's been a blast spending time with you today, buddy.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you got a great head on your shoulders.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_00: Mom and dad have done a great job raising a good son.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'm sure your your bro and sis will be just your brothers and sisters will be just as proud of you for coming on a show, a podcast talking about being a dad.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we will make sure this is linked in the show notes right there.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_00: We'll make sure it's easy to find you.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um if this impact if this episode has impacted you, please share it with a friend.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't make a dime doing this podcast.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's all free service, but I get free therapy out of every uh dad I talk to.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so um the other thing I always leave with everybody is you don't need a podcast to have conversations like these with uh with your buddies.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_00: You just need you don't need a microphone, you just need a cell phone.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_00: And go grab coffee, set it, and maybe pick up the phone and call them versus texting them.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um the phone still works, and how we build relationships is human connection, and I hope that we as dads can teach our kids these skills to become better leaders of our homes, become leader, better leaders of our communities, and wherever they interact with people in society.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, but Griffin, appreciate your time, brother, and I hope that we have a chance to meet in person sometime soon.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_01: Casey, my pleasure, man.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is uh this is inspiring stuff.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really pumped that you had me on.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is great.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_00: All right, but have a good weekend.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: Good luck with the move.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.