Latest / The Kevin Stone Podcast / #7 "Choose Your Friends Wisely"

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#7 "Choose Your Friends Wisely" · The Kevin Stone Podcast

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  Speaker 1: The content of this program is for entertainment purposes only,
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  Speaker 1: content creator so accurate it is illegal in fourteen states.
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  Speaker 1: You were listening to the Kevin Stone podcast, broadcasting to
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  Speaker 1: you from an unknown location, customized missie. Let's begin by
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  Speaker 1: cleaning those ears too, am I I'm a nobody. I
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  Speaker 1: just happened to have a camera and a microphone and
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  Speaker 1: an Internet connection, which makes me a superstar. I have
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  Speaker 1: beef angiladas in the oven, Yes, and you made them?
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  Speaker 1: Or are they frozen? So they won't be frozen in
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  Speaker 1: about thirty five minutes? You ever noticed how easy it
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  Speaker 1: is to make friends. You can meet somebody at work,
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  Speaker 1: at church, at the grocery store, online, or standing in
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  Speaker 1: the line at the DMV complaining about the same government form,
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  Speaker 1: and suddenly boom your friends. But here's the problem. Not
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  Speaker 1: everybody you like should have access to your life. And
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  Speaker 1: that's something we don't talk enough about. We spend a
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  Speaker 1: lot of time choosing what phone we're going to buy,
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  Speaker 1: what car we're going to drive, what house we're going
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  Speaker 1: to live in, and even what toppings we're going to
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  Speaker 1: put on our pizza. But when it comes to choosing friends, oh,
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  Speaker 1: they seem cool, that's the whole background check. And then
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  Speaker 1: six months later you're sitting there wondering, how did I
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  Speaker 1: get involved in this mess? Well, you let them in. Now.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not saying every friend has to be perfect. If
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  Speaker 1: you're waiting for a perfect person to become your friend,
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  Speaker 1: you're going to be spending a lot of Friday nights
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  Speaker 1: talking to your cat. People have problems, people make mistakes,
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  Speaker 1: people have bad days, but there's a difference between having
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  Speaker 1: flaws and being a walking disaster with your phone number.
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  Speaker 1: You have to pay attention to the people you surround
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  Speaker 1: yourself with because your friends influence you. They influence how
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  Speaker 1: you think, they influence what you believe, they influence what
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  Speaker 1: you tolerate, and sometimes they influence whether you end up
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  Speaker 1: making a really good decision or standing in a police
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  Speaker 1: station saying well, technically I wasn't driving. That's when you
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  Speaker 1: realize you've chosen your friends poorly. Here's something I've learned
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  Speaker 1: A good friend doesn't just make you laugh. A good
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  Speaker 1: friend can tell you the truth, and sometimes the truth
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  Speaker 1: isn't what you want to hear. A real friend might say, Kevin,
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  Speaker 1: you're making a stupid decision, and you might not appreciate
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  Speaker 1: hearing that, but later you might realize you know what
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  Speaker 1: that guy was right. A fake friend will tell you
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  Speaker 1: exactly what you want to hear because they don't want
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  Speaker 1: to lose access to the benefits of being your friend.
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  Speaker 1: They'll say, yeah, man, that's a great idea, even when
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  Speaker 1: your idea is absolutely terrible. You're standing there saying I'm
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  Speaker 1: thinking about quitting my job, selling everything I own, buying
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  Speaker 1: a motorcycle, on traveling across the country, and your friend
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  Speaker 1: says that's awesome. A real friend says, do you have money,
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  Speaker 1: do you have a plan, do you know how to
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  Speaker 1: ride a motorcycle? Then maybe you shouldn't do it. That's
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  Speaker 1: a friend. You also need friends who respect boundaries, because
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  Speaker 1: if someone constantly crosses your boundaries, ignores your feelings, uses you,
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  Speaker 1: manipulates you, or only cause you when they need something,
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  Speaker 1: that's not a friendship. That's a subscription service and apparently
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  Speaker 1: you're paying for it. A healthy friendship should have some
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  Speaker 1: give and take. You shouldn't always be the one calling,
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  Speaker 1: always checking in, always helping, always lending money, always listening
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  Speaker 1: to their problems, and then when you need something nothing
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  Speaker 1: Suddenly they're harder to find than a teenager when it's
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  Speaker 1: time to take out the trash. All right, we're going
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  Speaker 1: to take a quick commercial break. Don't go anywhere, unless,
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  Speaker 1: of course, one of your friends is calling. In that case,
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  Speaker 1: you may want to think about whether you're actually one
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  Speaker 1: answer it or not. Did you know that if you
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  Speaker 1: commercial free experience and exclusive content that nobody else gets.
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  Speaker 1: All right, we're back. Hopefully you didn't spend an entire
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  Speaker 1: commercial break text in that friend who's been making your
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  Speaker 1: life miserable. And if you did, well, that's between you
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  Speaker 1: and your phone bill. But seriously, let's keep going. Here's
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  Speaker 1: another important one. Watch how your friends treat people who
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  Speaker 1: can't do anything for them. That's a big one. Watch
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  Speaker 1: how they treat waitresses, cashiers, strangers, older people, people who
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  Speaker 1: are struggling, people who disagree with them, Because eventually, the
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  Speaker 1: way they treat everybody else may become the way to
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  Speaker 1: treat you. Character isn't something you turn on when it's convenient.
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  Speaker 1: Character is who you are when nobody is impressed by you.
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  Speaker 1: And let's talk about friends who constantly bring drama into
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  Speaker 1: your life. You know the type. Every week there's a
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  Speaker 1: new crisis. Every week, somebody's betrayed them. Every week, somebody's
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  Speaker 1: against them. Every week there's a new story, and somehow
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  Speaker 1: they're always the innocent victim. At some point you have
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  Speaker 1: to ask yourself, is everybody really the problem? Or could
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  Speaker 1: you possibly be the common denominator? Because if you've had
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  Speaker 1: forty seven best friends and somehow all forty seven turned
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  Speaker 1: out to be horrible people, I have some questions. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: choosing your friends wisely means choosing fewer friends, and that's okay.
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  Speaker 1: You don't need five hundred people who know your name.
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  Speaker 1: You need a few people who actually know you. People
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  Speaker 1: who can sit with you when you're having a bad day,
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  Speaker 1: people who can celebrate your victories without being jealous, people
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  Speaker 1: who can disagree with you without becoming your enemy, who
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  Speaker 1: can tell you the truth without trying to destroy you,
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  Speaker 1: and people who genuinely want to see you become a
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  Speaker 1: better version of yourself. Those people are worth keeping. And
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  Speaker 1: sometimes you have to let people go. That's one of
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  Speaker 1: the hardest parts because history can make us feel obligated.
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  Speaker 1: You might say, but we've been friends for twenty years. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: you've also had the same bad habit for twenty years.
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  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean you have to keep it. Time doesn't
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  Speaker 1: automatically make a relationship healthy. Sometimes you've simply been unhealthy
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  Speaker 1: together for a really long time, and there's a difference.
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  Speaker 1: Choosing good friends isn't about finding people who agree with
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  Speaker 1: everything you say. It's about finding people who care enough
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  Speaker 1: to challenge you, people who will laugh with you, cry
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  Speaker 1: with you, pray with you, and occasionally tell you buddy.
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  Speaker 1: You might want to rethink that those are the people
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  Speaker 1: you want, because life is hard enough without voluntarily inviting
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  Speaker 1: chaos into your living room. So here's the question I
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  Speaker 1: want you to think about today. Who are you surrounding
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  Speaker 1: yourself with. Do your friends make you better? Do they
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  Speaker 1: encourage you? Do they respect you? Do they tell you
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  Speaker 1: the truth? Do they celebrate your success? Do they help
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  Speaker 1: you through difficult times? Or do they constantly pull you backwards?
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  Speaker 1: Because the people you spend the most time with eventually
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  Speaker 1: leave fingerprints on your life, and you get to decide
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  Speaker 1: whose fingerprint soles are, So choose carefully. Choose people with character,
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  Speaker 1: Choose people with integrity, Choose people who want something better
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  Speaker 1: for you. And if somebody constantly brings chaos, negativity, drama,
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  Speaker 1: and bad decisions into your life, you don't have to
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  Speaker 1: hate them, you don't have to attack them. You don't
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  Speaker 1: even have to give them a dramatic farewell speech worthy
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  Speaker 1: of a Hollywood movie. Sometimes you can simply step back,
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  Speaker 1: create some distance, and say I wish you the best,
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  Speaker 1: but I don't need to be involved in this circus anymore.
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  Speaker 1: Your piece matters, your future matters, your reputation matters, and
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  Speaker 1: your life is too valuable to hand over to people
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  Speaker 1: who don't know how to handle their own. So choose
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  Speaker 1: your friends wisely, because sometimes the best decision you can
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  Speaker 1: make is deciding who not to sit next to. I'm
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  Speaker 1: Kevin Stone, and that's my thought for today until next time.
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  Speaker 1: What's who you let into your So because friendship is
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  Speaker 1: a powerful thing, make sure you're giving that power to
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  Speaker 1: the right people.