Latest / The Curve / Jay-Jay Feeney & Dom Harvey on Staying Financially Married After the Divorce.

Transcript

Jay-Jay Feeney & Dom Harvey on Staying Financially Married After the Divorce. · The Curve

• 0:00
  You guys were married for a really long time.
• 0:03
  Was this spending more conservative dynamic ever in a shoe?
• 0:08
  I feel weird talking about this with you sitting right next to me.
• 0:12
  I honestly thought I would be on the radio till I died.
• 0:14
  Thought I'm going to be one of these people that literally dies.
• 0:16
  Like I'm like, front and front of me.
• 0:17
  And I just thought, oh, I can't do this anymore. I'm just absolutely burnt out.
• 0:20
  Oh my god, how can I go from this good celery to nothing?
• 0:24
  JJ's like a spin, spin, spin, spin, spin.
• 0:27
  I'm an all or nothing person.
• 0:28
  It's the most unconventional thing ever.
• 0:31
  None of this is intended as financial advice.
• 0:33
  Money, it really doesn't bite you having this.
• 0:36
  I have not been this happy.
• 0:38
  It's so long in my life and I am earning no money.
• 0:42
  Well, my boyfriend lives in Algeria.
• 0:44
  Yeah, of course, people are going to think he's a scammer.
• 0:46
  It's easy to assume that it's about anyone.
• 0:49
  If you're not there living their life, you don't know all the facts.
• 0:52
  I hope this doesn't sound judge me and tall, and it might.
• 0:56
  So just a proof of saying it in advance.
• 1:04
  I would love to know if there is anybody who listens to this podcast
• 1:09
  that can confidently put their hand up and say,
• 1:13
  I eat really quality food every night of the week.
• 1:18
  I have no problem going to the supermarket
• 1:21
  and picking out all the things that I'm going to need.
• 1:24
  And do you know what?
• 1:24
  I actually love coming up with different meals every single week.
• 1:28
  Like, is there anyone?
• 1:30
  Because I do not know how you do it.
• 1:33
  I find it so overwhelming to think of what to cook.
• 1:36
  I find soup markets, cool, wipe stressful.
• 1:41
  But the health side of things and really feeling my body
• 1:44
  with good quality, vegetables and meats and proteins
• 1:49
  is super important to me.
• 1:51
  But the hassle and the admin of doing it myself is a bit much,
• 1:55
  particularly when work is super busy.
• 1:57
  So I have been using fresh start.
• 2:00
  Fresh start is by my food bag.
• 2:02
  These are nutritionist approved meals,
• 2:04
  and you have like 20 plus meals to choose from every single week.
• 2:09
  If like me, you want to eat well,
• 2:12
  but you just cannot deal with the admin of organizing.
• 2:16
  Fresh start is such an awesome alternative.
• 2:19
  And fresh start have an exclusive offer for anyone listening to this podcast.
• 2:23
  So if you would like, you can get $168 off.
• 2:27
  Essentially, you use the code curve weekly.
• 2:30
  It's 50% off your first delivery and then 10% off your second and third.
• 2:34
  So you can give it a go, try their delicious food and save some money.
• 2:38
  How good is that?
• 2:38
  So thank you so much to fresh start.
• 2:40
  And if you want to find out,
• 2:41
  all the details are in the podcast show notes.
• 2:46
  God, this feels weird, don't you think?
• 2:49
  Like we could be on radio right now.
• 2:51
  I know, I've never been interviewed by you.
• 2:52
  I actually, that's a lie.
• 2:53
  I have been interviewed by you so feet on a previous episode.
• 2:56
  Do you know that there's two years ago?
• 2:58
  What's it?
• 2:58
  Yeah, I was looking at it today.
• 3:00
  I was like, oh my God, it feels like not that long ago.
• 3:03
  I'm actually learning a lot,
• 3:04
  earning a lot less money than I was when you interviewed me last time.
• 3:09
  Well, like, this is actually what I wanted to bring up.
• 3:12
  Is Dom, have you actually listened to that podcast?
• 3:16
  Yeah, I did.
• 3:16
  I did and I saw over the clips.
• 3:18
  Because obviously we're here in radio.
• 3:20
  You're used to being quite vulnerable and open and speaking about everything.
• 3:25
  It was quite interesting after that podcast.
• 3:28
  JJ was like, I'm going to just check with Dom and I was like, yeah, fair.
• 3:32
  Totally fair because money's not the kind of conversation
• 3:34
  that you probably would have had before publicly.
• 3:37
  We generally don't even talk about it amongst ourselves.
• 3:39
  It's too awkward.
• 3:41
  Money is such a...
• 3:42
  And also, we have very different opinions on money.
• 3:44
  But this is kind of how I wanted to start this interview.
• 3:47
  It was like, you guys were married for a really long time.
• 3:50
  Was it 24 years or did I...
• 3:53
  I think about...
• 3:53
  About 15?
• 3:54
  No, we were married a long time.
• 3:55
  We've been together for like about 18 years or something
• 3:59
  when we decided to separate.
• 4:01
  But we still hang out together every day.
• 4:03
  Yeah, we see more of each other now.
• 4:05
  No, we're in business together.
• 4:07
  It is a weird transition, I think,
• 4:10
  changing the dynamic of a relationship.
• 4:12
  Like for me and Vic, we're friends for 10 years
• 4:14
  and then we went into business together.
• 4:16
  And you kind of do see totally different sides of people.
• 4:20
  And differently, you know, working together on radio,
• 4:23
  you had almost like the formula of how to work together.
• 4:25
  You knew what the job required.
• 4:27
  You knew like each other in that context.
• 4:31
  Has your relationship changed or the dynamic going into business together?
• 4:35
  I think the balance has changed in terms of...
• 4:38
  And you can correct me if I'm wrong about any...
• 4:40
  If you have a different opinion.
• 4:42
  But in radio, I felt like Dom was kind of the boss.
• 4:44
  You know, and everything was Dom's way.
• 4:46
  And, you know, and everyone looked to Dom
• 4:49
  to give the seal of approval for things.
• 4:51
  But here, it's kind of reversed in a way.
• 4:54
  We're on the boss.
• 4:54
  And I say what goes.
• 4:56
  And Dom just follows me.
• 4:59
  Will that be correct?
• 5:00
  I would agree.
• 5:01
  I would agree completely.
• 5:03
  You know, I'm definitely more content-driven
• 5:06
  than sort of like organization or whatever.
• 5:08
  Like my brain just doesn't work that way.
• 5:10
  So even I've started to...
• 5:13
  It's probably been better for myself to steam in a way,
• 5:14
  being in business because it's like,
• 5:16
  oh, I'll draft a post for like the PodLab LinkedIn page.
• 5:20
  And I'll be like,
• 5:21
  I'm about to post another one.
• 5:22
  I'll be the runner.
• 5:23
  That's Jo, Jo.
• 5:23
  You should be like,
• 5:24
  no, give it to me.
• 5:26
  I'll run it through chat GPT,
• 5:27
  there's still whatever.
• 5:29
  So it's like, I'm second-guessing even little ways
• 5:33
  that one LinkedIn post.
• 5:39
  But it's having...
• 5:41
  I don't know, I think there's something
• 5:43
  impairing and knowing where your strengths
• 5:46
  and where your weaknesses are.
• 5:47
  And if there's someone in the organization
• 5:49
  they can do a better thing,
• 5:50
  talk, get them to do it.
• 5:52
  I think that's such an interesting point
• 5:53
  that you bring up, Dom.
• 5:54
  And like for a really long time,
• 5:56
  you were in the dynamic of...
• 5:59
  being in the king of content, you know?
• 6:01
  It was like,
• 6:02
  you've done what you've always known for a long time.
• 6:04
  And then behind the scenes
• 6:07
  when it comes to your relationship and money,
• 6:10
  was the dynamics similar
• 6:11
  to how it now kind of is in business?
• 6:14
  Where like, you're more in charge
• 6:15
  of the finances or the decisions?
• 6:17
  Is that...
• 6:18
  I don't know.
• 6:18
  I think I'll put a good more of an idea
• 6:21
  when it comes to money.
• 6:22
  But Jo, Jo, it's like a spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin.
• 6:25
  And I'm more like,
• 6:26
  I'm, I suppose, more conservative
• 6:29
  or more investment savvy.
• 6:32
  But I feel like we meet somewhere in the middle.
• 6:34
  Like, should we be like, I want to buy this?
• 6:35
  I'm like, no, let's not buy this.
• 6:37
  We meet in the middle.
• 6:38
  No, she, that's a lie.
• 6:39
  I'm like, she's like, I want to buy this.
• 6:40
  I'm like, no, let's not buy this.
• 6:41
  She's like, well, thank you.
• 6:46
  That's a bit like that.
• 6:47
  So then, so you can't send them on camera,
• 6:49
  but behind us, there's massive, massive lights on the floor.
• 6:53
  I didn't sign off that purchase.
• 6:55
  A big package just arrived from Rubber Monkey
• 6:57
  and, well, I own these big lights.
• 6:59
  Well, if I see to Tom, I need to buy these lights.
• 7:01
  With the studio, they're $1200.
• 7:03
  He'll be like, no, we've got lights.
• 7:06
  You know, like, he's, he's, he's definitely sensible
• 7:10
  with money.
• 7:11
  And I am not, I'm not very good at budgeting,
• 7:13
  but I think you've got to just have the,
• 7:17
  everything's got to be done well.
• 7:19
  Can't happen because you're eventually going to have to do it well.
• 7:22
  And it's going to be, it's, it's harder to do things down the track sometimes.
• 7:25
  So just let's get it done now.
• 7:27
  Spend the money now.
• 7:28
  And then we, we know what we've got to record.
• 7:32
  Yeah.
• 7:32
  So I think my podcast, the Dom Harvey podcast,
• 7:34
  is probably about the same age as the curve.
• 7:36
  It's been going for just over three years.
• 7:37
  And I, I started very conservatively.
• 7:40
  I call it a podcast, not a business,
• 7:42
  but I suppose it has sort of like become a business.
• 7:44
  But I started by buying the minimum gear possible,
• 7:47
  just a roadcaster pro and two road pod mics
• 7:52
  from Rubber Monkey.
• 7:53
  And I was sitting at my dining room table,
• 7:55
  just like filming the episodes on a phone,
• 7:57
  which was leaning up against a coffee mug.
• 8:00
  And then when I got sponsors,
• 8:01
  I reinvested the sponsorship money,
• 8:03
  and then more sponsors came along.
• 8:04
  And I was just sort of like spent as I went.
• 8:07
  The other way to do it, which would be the JoJo way,
• 8:09
  I suppose would be like, right, I'm doing this podcast.
• 8:12
  I need a studio from day one.
• 8:14
  I need the three cameras.
• 8:15
  I need this.
• 8:16
  I need this.
• 8:16
  And then hopefully the sponsors will come along.
• 8:18
  But I, I probably lack the confidence to do that, I guess.
• 8:21
  It's so interesting, because I'm definitely more of a JoJo approach.
• 8:24
  And I was with the curve.
• 8:26
  When we first started, we hired a studio.
• 8:28
  It was a proper studio.
• 8:29
  And to be honest, like 300 people were listening.
• 8:32
  If that probably unnecessary,
• 8:34
  we could have gone smaller.
• 8:35
  But I definitely have more of a,
• 8:37
  but I would rather spend the money.
• 8:38
  I'd rather have the standard here.
• 8:39
  And I'm quite impressed honestly, Dom,
• 8:41
  that given you've been on radio and in such a
• 8:44
  professional high quality and your approach to radio
• 8:48
  was always like, it must be the best.
• 8:50
  So it's actually really impressive to hear
• 8:52
  that you took a way more conservative approach
• 8:55
  in terms of investing in the podcast.
• 8:56
  Well, you would have found the same thing,
• 8:57
  like podcasting in 2022 is
• 9:01
  very different to how it is now in 2025.
• 9:03
  So it's not like there were sponsors like Clambring over
• 9:05
  to give you money.
• 9:07
  So I wasn't sure, yeah.
• 9:08
  Still isn't, by the way.
• 9:12
  Dom is still open to podcast sponsorship.
• 9:14
  To collaborate with him, please let us know.
• 9:16
  But it's, there was a time,
• 9:18
  there was like, is this going to be just like a hobby
• 9:20
  or is this going to be a business?
• 9:21
  And there was no real way of knowing.
• 9:23
  So I didn't want to go and put all my chips on
• 9:27
  on black or whatever if I wasn't really sure.
• 9:29
  So it's probably a bit of a conservative approach.
• 9:30
  But I regret in some ways now doing it the way I did
• 9:34
  because the first year of content,
• 9:36
  and there was some really good interviews there
• 9:38
  that I'm really proud of,
• 9:39
  they're recorded at home.
• 9:41
  And sometimes you can hear a water blaster
• 9:43
  in the background from your body court.
• 9:45
  You know, there's no video content of it.
• 9:48
  You know, so yeah, it's an opportunity lost in a way.
• 9:52
  When it comes to your finances in the relationship that was,
• 9:57
  was this spending more conservative dynamic ever in a shoe?
• 10:02
  Like, did you ever find that when it came to like buying a car
• 10:05
  or going on holiday or spending money on anything?
• 10:09
  Was there a push and pull between those two approaches?
• 10:12
  Not too bad because.
• 10:14
  Our personalities come a lot into this and our consideration
• 10:17
  because we could easily, the type of people we are with money,
• 10:21
  we could easily fight and, you know, really butt heads about it.
• 10:27
  But I, we compromise.
• 10:31
  Like, we don't, we don't really fight about it.
• 10:34
  Dom will have his say, I'll have my say in one of us will win.
• 10:37
  And it might be me, it might be me compromising
• 10:40
  because I do, or it might be a Dom giving in.
• 10:43
  And whatever, someone's happy at the end of the day.
• 10:46
  Yeah, I tried to stress that out a bit.
• 10:48
  I mean, the, you mentioned the car thing before.
• 10:51
  I've had this, I've got the same car as what I probably had
• 10:53
  when you were producing us.
• 10:54
  It's got a saggy roof.
• 10:56
  Is the red one?
• 10:57
  Yeah, it's probably worth it.
• 10:59
  Oh, no, the holder.
• 10:59
  Oh, the holder.
• 11:00
  It's one of the four.
• 11:01
  No, we had a blue Ford Territory and then we went to a holder
• 11:03
  and called it all red one.
• 11:04
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:05
  But it's a, it's a car that we got when we were married
• 11:09
  and it was brand new.
• 11:10
  And now it's probably worth like five grand, I'd say, as a trade.
• 11:13
  And I'm just not car driven at all.
• 11:15
  And some people, someone said to me,
• 11:17
  oh, you should get in your car because it's not a good look.
• 11:19
  Like people will see you and they'll think you have fallen upon
• 11:21
  tough times.
• 11:22
  But it's like, it's actually fair representation of my life.
• 11:28
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 11:29
  I'd rather spend the money on, on shares or, you know,
• 11:32
  invest in the business.
• 11:33
  But I think that's such a good example, though,
• 11:35
  of how you think about money,
• 11:37
  which is, you're not flashy about it.
• 11:39
  You don't necessarily like things and spending on materialistic stuff,
• 11:44
  whereas JJ is probably more like that.
• 11:46
  Yeah.
• 11:47
  I'm not, I'm definitely not flashy.
• 11:49
  And I don't like have flash, you know,
• 11:51
  I don't buy high designer things or if I did,
• 11:54
  it wouldn't have the label all over it.
• 11:55
  Like I don't show off at all.
• 11:58
  But Dom's more into, like you said, investing.
• 12:01
  So he puts his money in shares and, you know,
• 12:04
  we've got property together and stuff like that.
• 12:06
  I feel like once my money's in the property,
• 12:08
  and I've got the money in Kiwi Sava,
• 12:10
  and we've got money in shares,
• 12:11
  I'm safe to do all the other stuff
• 12:13
  with the money that's left over.
• 12:15
  So that's where I'm frivolous,
• 12:16
  is with the money I've got left over.
• 12:18
  But it's, and I like money because of what you can do with it.
• 12:21
  Like I'm not, I'm not a tight-ass.
• 12:22
  Like if we're traveling, I'd love to go business class.
• 12:26
  You know, that's insane expense.
• 12:28
  And it's ridiculous, because with your own economy or business,
• 12:31
  you get into the same destination at the same time.
• 12:33
  But you get the least grumpy when you go business.
• 12:36
  So what I use that example,
• 12:38
  because it's an absurd expense,
• 12:39
  but it's a great experience,
• 12:41
  and it makes you enjoy the whole trip
• 12:42
  from the time you get to the airport.
• 12:44
  That's where we're fleshier, only.
• 12:47
  Do you think that that's the reason that this has worked?
• 12:50
  Because the, like last time we spoke, JJ,
• 12:52
  you shared that you still shared
• 12:53
  and had combined finances?
• 12:55
  Well, here's the thing.
• 12:56
  Dom and I were married for 18 years,
• 12:58
  or together for 18 years, sorry.
• 12:59
  And we split up five years ago.
• 13:02
  That's five years, but we're still so close.
• 13:04
  We still share our money.
• 13:05
  Do we do?
• 13:06
  We do. No.
• 13:08
  And at the time, I remember thinking,
• 13:10
  holy shit, that's so, like brave and different,
• 13:14
  and honestly, kind of the opposite,
• 13:16
  everything we've ever talked about with the curve.
• 13:18
  And then I reflected on it,
• 13:19
  and I read all of the comments,
• 13:21
  and like the support was just so pure.
• 13:24
  And so like technically,
• 13:26
  a romantic relationship is a business relationship anyway, right?
• 13:30
  If you've got things set up in a way that works,
• 13:33
  but you fall out of love, what's to say they need to change?
• 13:36
  And it's just, it's so what society says you should do.
• 13:39
  But you've done it differently,
• 13:40
  and I have reflected a lot,
• 13:42
  because I was so judging me into when you first said that.
• 13:44
  I was like, oh my god, like bizarre, you know?
• 13:48
  Because I mean, technically,
• 13:51
  it's not protecting yourself, right?
• 13:54
  Like you're thinking about we, rather than me,
• 13:57
  which is just such a different way to do it.
• 13:59
  And now I've thought about it.
• 14:01
  And I'm like, gosh, what a beautiful relationship,
• 14:04
  like not romantic,
• 14:05
  but what a beautiful partnership to have,
• 14:08
  and to be able to trust each other so infinitely
• 14:11
  that you are able to keep your livelihood
• 14:13
  and the thing that's going to pay for everything combined still.
• 14:18
  How is that evolved over the last couple of years?
• 14:20
  Is it still exactly the same?
• 14:22
  Do you still have like five properties that are shared?
• 14:25
  Do you still have your retirement by when in four properties now?
• 14:28
  Are you so one?
• 14:29
  Only.
• 14:30
  So we're not working anymore.
• 14:33
  Yeah, a lot of it was probably sad.
• 14:35
  It's like, it's completely stupid.
• 14:37
  And that'd be right to not have something legally drawn up,
• 14:40
  like to protect either of us,
• 14:42
  but at any stage, at any point,
• 14:47
  like I could FJJ over all vice versa.
• 14:50
  But what we do have is enough data
• 14:54
  from the time we were together,
• 14:55
  and also the time that would be in a part,
• 14:57
  which is maybe the best part of a decade now,
• 15:00
  to know that I can trust her 1,000% and vice versa.
• 15:06
  Like, I know that she's got my best interest at heart,
• 15:10
  and vice versa.
• 15:11
  And even running off the table,
• 15:12
  there's just been things that have come up where she's like,
• 15:15
  no, fuck that, don't do that,
• 15:16
  don't do that, you should do it this way.
• 15:17
  It works for us, so why break that up?
• 15:20
  Why stop that?
• 15:21
  So that's important, because for example,
• 15:25
  we were talking to the lawyer the other day,
• 15:26
  just hypothetically, what does it look like if we divorced?
• 15:32
  Because we're still legally married.
• 15:34
  What does it look like?
• 15:34
  Because I was thinking, we've got property together,
• 15:37
  we've got this business together now,
• 15:38
  and we still share our money.
• 15:40
  We still share our money.
• 15:40
  He's got a girlfriend, I've got a boyfriend,
• 15:43
  and he said, well, you can divorce,
• 15:47
  but that doesn't mean you have to split everything.
• 15:49
  That's a whole set entity.
• 15:51
  I didn't actually exclusive.
• 15:52
  Yeah, I didn't realize that.
• 15:54
  So we could just go and get divorced and we're not married anymore,
• 15:56
  but still nothing changes financially,
• 15:58
  if we don't want it to, except that you get your new partners,
• 16:01
  have to sort of, you know,
• 16:02
  you've got to protect yourself and see what they get out of it,
• 16:05
  and what they don't get out of it,
• 16:06
  if you were to break up, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 16:08
  Yeah, it's like a commercial partnership.
• 16:10
  Yeah, I guess it's like a business.
• 16:12
  We have the business now, we have our properties,
• 16:13
  like if we split the money, it's kind of like,
• 16:16
  oh, Dom, can you give me $1,500?
• 16:18
  I've got to pay the rates this week for that.
• 16:19
  And then next week, he gives me, you know,
• 16:21
  it's way more, yeah, it's just like,
• 16:23
  well, if we just put all our money in the same account,
• 16:26
  at one point, you know, we were earning the same money,
• 16:29
  and then I was earning most of the money
• 16:32
  and Dom wasn't earning any.
• 16:34
  And then now it's the other way around.
• 16:35
  We're he's earning all the money and I'm not earning any.
• 16:37
  So it's worked itself out swings around
• 16:39
  about so we support each other.
• 16:40
  And if it comes to a point where we have to divide the money
• 16:43
  and that might be for future relationships or whatever,
• 16:46
  we'll work it out then.
• 16:47
  But at the moment, why fuck with it if it's working?
• 16:52
  Well, for us, it doesn't work for everyone else.
• 16:55
  Like, of course, but...
• 16:57
  It doesn't need to work for you.
• 16:58
  No, this is just what works for us.
• 16:59
  In the beginning of this episode,
• 17:01
  so for you talked about the episode
• 17:03
  that you did with Jay-Jay,
• 17:04
  and you asked me if I listened to that.
• 17:05
  And that's at that point, I think it was year one of my podcast.
• 17:09
  And Jay-Jay was like, you know,
• 17:12
  funding Dom's lifestyle is podcast.
• 17:14
  And then, you know, she quit her job
• 17:16
  and she sort of been, I suppose, like, living off some of my podcast money now.
• 17:20
  All of them.
• 17:20
  And it's just like...
• 17:21
  Thank you. That's why we need more sponsors.
• 17:23
  Just support my frivolous lifestyle.
• 17:26
  So it's your swings in roundabouts.
• 17:28
  And the longer we go on, the more year-long you can trust that person.
• 17:32
  But those are all the proof points, right?
• 17:34
  Because at the point of breaking up,
• 17:36
  that could have been a time in which the finances blew up
• 17:40
  and became a real issue.
• 17:41
  At the time in which you left a full-time job,
• 17:44
  that could have blown up because Jay-Jay could have thought,
• 17:47
  I don't want to fund your lifestyle.
• 17:49
  Actually, I'm the only one earning.
• 17:50
  And then you've had so many milestones at which you've had to prove that
• 17:55
  being together in a business sense or a relationship sense,
• 18:01
  not romantically, but togetherness has been more beneficial than being separate,
• 18:07
  which is just so amazing.
• 18:09
  And I don't think there's very many ex couples
• 18:12
  that could ever say that that's worked for them.
• 18:15
  There's so much jealousy and inequality and comparison that comes into it
• 18:19
  that you just don't have.
• 18:20
  And I think that's so unique.
• 18:21
  Yeah.
• 18:22
  And I guess my question would be that first milestone that you went to,
• 18:26
  which was, Dom not working full-time.
• 18:28
  And you're really taking a punt on the podcast, right?
• 18:31
  Like, it was super brave and it was before podcasts really were a thing
• 18:34
  and no one really spent money on podcasts.
• 18:37
  And Jay-Jay was still working full-time.
• 18:39
  Was there ever an issue with like,
• 18:41
  I mean, this is just a random example that I think of.
• 18:44
  Like, I remember you took your girlfriend to an overseas trip.
• 18:47
  And I remember thinking at the time,
• 18:48
  because it was after we had that conversation.
• 18:50
  I was like, I wonder if Dom said to Jay,
• 18:52
  I want to go on a trip.
• 18:54
  It's going to cost him grand as that.
• 18:55
  Matter or like, do you have comms about that,
• 18:58
  about who's spending what or is it totally,
• 19:01
  you know, like, is there any parameters around it and has it changed?
• 19:04
  No, if the money's there, if the money's there, it's all good.
• 19:08
  We even go on holiday to get this on fun, still.
• 19:10
  Oh, yeah, we went to Bali with our partners.
• 19:13
  I love this, so much.
• 19:15
  It's the most unconventional thing ever.
• 19:20
  Yeah, I know, I mean, like, you know,
• 19:22
  when one of us wants to go overseas,
• 19:24
  we do something like that.
• 19:26
  We definitely have to talk about it.
• 19:27
  Because it's obviously a bigger expense, right?
• 19:29
  Yeah, it's different to like,
• 19:30
  mortgage or rent.
• 19:31
  It's like, you might spend 10 grand on a holiday.
• 19:33
  Yeah, I mean, we don't have this money.
• 19:36
  Like, sitting there, like, if we want to go overseas,
• 19:39
  we've got to like wait for a couple more months of the sponsorship to come in
• 19:43
  at this moment, because none of us are earning a salary now because of,
• 19:47
  you know, we started this business.
• 19:49
  Or we, or I go, you know, wait to love,
• 19:52
  because I make some money off social media.
• 19:55
  We just have to wait until the money comes in before we can go on holiday now.
• 19:58
  But we still definitely talk about it,
• 20:00
  because we love travel.
• 20:02
  It's like, oh, it's one of, it's our number one hobby to do.
• 20:05
  We love it, but it costs so much money.
• 20:07
  Like, we haven't been traveling much.
• 20:10
  We don't have the money to do it.
• 20:11
  Money, it really doesn't buy me happiness.
• 20:14
  I have not been this happy in so long in my life.
• 20:19
  And I am earning no money.
• 20:22
  Like, I don't get paid.
• 20:23
  I'm not, I'm not doing PA way.
• 20:26
  I'm not, I can't even contribute to Kiwi Saver.
• 20:28
  You know, we have a business,
• 20:30
  but we're not making enough money to pay us yet.
• 20:32
  So I'm not earning any money,
• 20:34
  but I mean, obviously I've got
• 20:37
  sponging off dawn a little bit.
• 20:39
  And, you know, we had some savings,
• 20:43
  which we've just about blown out,
• 20:44
  because sending this place out.
• 20:45
  But I am not only money, but I don't care.
• 20:48
  I actually feel so happy in myself
• 20:52
  and so happy with my life.
• 20:54
  So it really, it really puts things into perspective.
• 20:58
  Like, and I've been, before I made it big in radio,
• 21:01
  like it wasn't till my mid-30s
• 21:03
  that I started earning good money in radio.
• 21:04
  And I started radio when I was 15.
• 21:06
  So for my first 20 years,
• 21:08
  I earned the shittest money.
• 21:10
  And I was like, you know,
• 21:12
  crying to my mom, like, I can't even afford my phone bill
• 21:15
  and stuff like this at times.
• 21:16
  I know what it's like as well to not, to not earn the money.
• 21:20
  But I also look back at those times
• 21:23
  and think I was a happy person as well back then.
• 21:25
  But when I was earning a lot of money,
• 21:27
  I was actually quite not as happy,
• 21:28
  because there's so much stress on you,
• 21:30
  there's so much demand on you,
• 21:31
  there's so much responsibility.
• 21:33
  So money is a strange one.
• 21:36
  Yeah, I think there's a base level of happiness, right?
• 21:38
  Like, there'd be, I think there'd be nothing worse.
• 21:40
  So it must be awful if you're wondering
• 21:42
  how you're going to feed your kids or pay for your rent
• 21:44
  or you can't, it's broken down and there's,
• 21:46
  you just literally can't afford to fix it.
• 21:48
  But once, once you've got that sort of base level,
• 21:53
  you actually need a lot less to be happy
• 21:54
  than what you think.
• 21:55
  Yeah.
• 21:56
  It's really interesting.
• 21:57
  Yeah, it's fascinating.
• 21:58
  Because if you can afford to pay your bills, of course,
• 22:01
  and then, but you don't have any money for anything extra,
• 22:04
  it's not the bill and end all.
• 22:05
  What, why do you think you didn't make that decision sooner then?
• 22:09
  Like, what was the reason,
• 22:12
  like, where did you get to when you decided to leave?
• 22:15
  You know, it's a huge amount of time
• 22:16
  to do one particular career, right?
• 22:18
  Like, most people now wouldn't spend more than three years in a job.
• 22:22
  You did over 30 years, yeah, it's so...
• 22:24
  You see it on LinkedIn, it's alarming.
• 22:26
  Yeah, you're like, oh God, there's another new job, another new job.
• 22:29
  Um, it's like, what the fuck?
• 22:30
  If it's like just two weeks ago, I said, congratulations,
• 22:32
  you'll be great at this role.
• 22:33
  And now you've got a new one.
• 22:35
  Okay, answer this on your behalf.
• 22:36
  Yes.
• 22:37
  First, fear.
• 22:38
  And I would say, like, gold and handcuffs or a gold and cage,
• 22:42
  where you get your shed money for so many years,
• 22:44
  then it gets to the point,
• 22:44
  and this isn't just radio, I suppose this is any career,
• 22:47
  where you've invested so much time into this career,
• 22:50
  it gets to the point you're at the top of the pyramid,
• 22:52
  you're earning good money,
• 22:54
  and you're earning this good money,
• 22:56
  and you think, well, I don't want to start at the bottom somewhere else,
• 22:59
  you've invested so much in this one industry,
• 23:01
  so you think all your value or your skill sets wrapped up in that,
• 23:06
  but ultimately, yeah, fear, I guess.
• 23:07
  That was 100% true.
• 23:09
  I was terrified.
• 23:12
  First of all, the money was like, oh my God,
• 23:14
  how can I go from this, you know, good salary to nothing?
• 23:19
  Like, how can I do this?
• 23:20
  And this is what took me a long time to finally decide to leave,
• 23:24
  because I thought about it for ages, like, how am I going to do this?
• 23:27
  I didn't have the answer at all.
• 23:28
  Because you spend time, like, looking at Seek or ZL or whatever,
• 23:33
  thinking, what would I want to do if I could do anything?
• 23:36
  And then you look at the jobs, like, oh, maybe I could,
• 23:38
  you know, work on dock tracks, whatever.
• 23:40
  That's so depressing.
• 23:41
  And then you're like, oh, 55,000 years.
• 23:44
  But also, I do think that there's something in media,
• 23:48
  or maybe it's in all careers where you kind of get
• 23:53
  stock homes and drive or something, or like, you sort of a kind of like,
• 23:56
  I don't know how to explain it.
• 23:58
  And you also feel as though your skills are so not transferable.
• 24:02
  And I think there's a lot of people,
• 24:03
  not just who have worked their way up to being in a really,
• 24:06
  you know, comfortable position, golden handcuffs, etc.
• 24:10
  But people who might not be quite there yet,
• 24:13
  but still feel like, how on earth would I find?
• 24:16
  Well, how do I figure out the road from where I am,
• 24:19
  which is really unhappy in a role or not earning enough,
• 24:22
  or whatever the reason is you want to leave to that next step.
• 24:25
  And leaving without something, without a salary,
• 24:29
  without a job, without the alternative is unbelievably brave.
• 24:33
  And most people wouldn't do it.
• 24:35
  So I guess like, how did you get from that fear to kind of having a plan
• 24:40
  or a bit more of a, you know,
• 24:42
  a plan I had just had enough.
• 24:43
  You just got to the, yeah, I just had enough.
• 24:45
  And I realized that my happiness had to come first.
• 24:49
  My mental health, my just, just being happy in myself.
• 24:51
  So I was kind of a bit miserable the last few years, for honest.
• 24:54
  And for many reasons.
• 24:56
  And I just thought, oh, I can't do this anymore.
• 24:58
  I'm just absolutely burnt out.
• 25:00
  So I think I just got to breaking point,
• 25:02
  because I left it too long.
• 25:03
  Like I should have gone when I first felt like it,
• 25:05
  but like I said, it was the money that kept me there.
• 25:08
  Because of course, anyone would do that.
• 25:09
  Like, it's terrifying to quit a job.
• 25:11
  I know one of my really good friends is in a job.
• 25:14
  He really is hating so much.
• 25:17
  And he doesn't even earn like a huge salary.
• 25:19
  And it's good, but it's, you know, it's not huge.
• 25:23
  He could get him the whole of that job.
• 25:24
  Yes, but he's still scared to leave because of that.
• 25:28
  But I'm like, you can honestly, you're a talented person.
• 25:31
  You can, you will find your way.
• 25:33
  And I believe that most people will find their way,
• 25:36
  because most of us want it.
• 25:38
  You know, we'll work hard for what will make it happen.
• 25:41
  Do you think it would have been an easier transition?
• 25:44
  Had you left sooner and put some financial plans in place?
• 25:50
  Like would there have been a way that you could have done it,
• 25:52
  where it was less of a drop off,
• 25:54
  or less of a shock, or less of a holy shit I went from this to this?
• 25:57
  You know, like, yeah, if I was a good saver.
• 26:00
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, more planning.
• 26:03
  Absolutely, it would have been easier.
• 26:04
  It was kind of, I didn't actually,
• 26:06
  I wasn't working toward me leaving over the last say five years.
• 26:11
  I wasn't enjoying it.
• 26:12
  And then all of a sudden, like, it happened very suddenly
• 26:15
  that I decided to leave.
• 26:16
  Very suddenly.
• 26:17
  So I definitely didn't even plan for it or think about planning for it.
• 26:22
  And so what I should have, like, in hindsight,
• 26:25
  I should have either left five years earlier
• 26:28
  or started planning five years earlier.
• 26:30
  But I didn't actually realize I never saw myself leaving.
• 26:33
  Yeah.
• 26:33
  I honestly thought I would be on the radio till I died.
• 26:36
  I thought I'm going to be one of these people that literally dies
• 26:38
  for my cranny family.
• 26:39
  I can't imagine not being on the radio.
• 26:41
  But I haven't been on the radio since July, 2024.
• 26:45
  And I don't miss me on the radio.
• 26:48
  I don't think hardly anyone else does either.
• 26:50
  I don't think so.
• 26:53
  Eventually, I couldn't have done it any other way.
• 26:55
  I don't think just had to, I'm just like,
• 26:59
  I'm a normal nothing person.
• 27:01
  And I was, I was very, very unsupported at this time.
• 27:04
  I was like, well, look, you've got 16 months left on your contract.
• 27:07
  Suck it up.
• 27:08
  You've done it 30 years already.
• 27:10
  Another year and a half is not going to hurt.
• 27:12
  Well, that would be fucking scary to have both of you, right?
• 27:15
  I mean, like, it's, I understand, I understand that.
• 27:19
  Was there ever a point, JJ, where you felt like
• 27:23
  you wanted the roles to swap again?
• 27:25
  You know, like, where it was like, I've done this for a long time.
• 27:27
  Dom, fucking, help me out here.
• 27:29
  You know, like, was there, because you are in such a partnership?
• 27:32
  Was that ever a...
• 27:33
  No, but I will say that Dom actually inspired me.
• 27:36
  Because watching him leave radio and status podcast from nothing.
• 27:41
  And I saw how hard it was, especially in the first year.
• 27:45
  And, you know, he didn't think he was getting anywhere.
• 27:47
  And even now, he's still, he worries that he's not doing good enough.
• 27:50
  Like, that's just on though.
• 27:51
  But watching how he did manage to do it
• 27:54
  has made, gave me the confidence to, to leave my job.
• 27:58
  Because I knew that if he can do something so brave and different like that,
• 28:02
  then I'm going to do something too.
• 28:04
  And at the time, I had no idea what that was going to be.
• 28:06
  But thankfully, this came along.
• 28:08
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:09
  But it's now in my element again.
• 28:12
  It's like anything though.
• 28:13
  Like, no one starts any career at 100 miles an hour.
• 28:17
  Like, if you're a surgeon that's now earning half a million dollars a year,
• 28:21
  the first 10 years, you've probably made nothing.
• 28:23
  Actually, the first eight years, you would have been training, right?
• 28:26
  And then you're doing night shift at a hospital,
• 28:28
  getting shit money or whatever.
• 28:30
  And it's like anything.
• 28:31
  So the same thing happened with our radio career,
• 28:33
  is what I can see happening with the podcast now.
• 28:35
  You've got to go through that pain and anything.
• 28:37
  So what I would say to anyone that's looking at that transition thing,
• 28:39
  like JJ was, if you're thinking about leaving,
• 28:42
  start, start, you know, spending more time on your side hustle now.
• 28:46
  Like, start that now, because it's going to take time to build it up.
• 28:49
  Think about the exit plan before you kind of
• 28:52
  forced into it or you're at a point where there's no return.
• 28:54
  It's like, think about it in advance so that you can make that transition,
• 28:58
  even though it will still always be scary.
• 29:00
  A little bit less so.
• 29:01
  That's what I was meaning, but you said it way better.
• 29:05
  One of the things that we spoke about last time, JJ,
• 29:10
  was the idea of, you've got this incredibly open, dynamic,
• 29:15
  financial relationship between you and Dom.
• 29:18
  And in your then relationship, money wasn't really something that you spoke about.
• 29:22
  Yeah.
• 29:23
  How have you both navigated?
• 29:25
  Firstly, is that still the same in your new old relationship now?
• 29:30
  And how do you both then integrate to other people into your unique dynamic?
• 29:37
  Well, my boyfriend lives in Algeria.
• 29:39
  So in despite the social media comments, I'm not giving him any money.
• 29:45
  Did people say that online?
• 29:48
  Yes.
• 29:48
  Because I thought the other day, when you posted something,
• 29:51
  you were like, don't comment if it's not something nice.
• 29:53
  And I was like, what are people commenting?
• 29:55
  Like, I haven't seen it.
• 29:56
  So I was like, what kind of stuff I've been using?
• 29:58
  A day to younger guy who's really good looking from Algeria.
• 30:01
  Yeah, of course, people are going to think he's a scammer.
• 30:03
  Okay.
• 30:04
  People think you're sending envelopes of money to Algeria.
• 30:07
  So like, I'm not giving money to him, but I did have another boyfriend.
• 30:12
  And who loved with me for two years.
• 30:15
  And Dom, you've got your girlfriend.
• 30:16
  They can, they contribute what they can, but there's definitely, you know,
• 30:19
  they didn't earn that much money.
• 30:22
  So they pay, you know, their share of the household running on things.
• 30:26
  And sometimes they pay for dinners out or sometimes we pay for them.
• 30:30
  And, you know, like, we just, we look after them.
• 30:32
  They're our partners.
• 30:33
  We love them.
• 30:34
  So you do like anyone.
• 30:35
  So we share the money.
• 30:36
  I, you know, Dom does what he has to do with his partner.
• 30:40
  I do what I have to do with mine.
• 30:42
  We're not going, we're not spending money on buying them big,
• 30:45
  extravagant gifts or a car or anything like that.
• 30:48
  So it's not a problem.
• 30:49
  We're just living, just living expenses, really.
• 30:52
  Do you have to explain that to a lot of people?
• 30:55
  Is there judgment like coming from anyone around you?
• 31:00
  Or is it mainly online trolling where people want to have a say?
• 31:02
  Yeah, I know.
• 31:03
  Well, yeah, I mean, should I, I don't know what people say online.
• 31:07
  Yeah, it's funny.
• 31:08
  If you don't read it, it's like it never happens.
• 31:10
  It's like a for tree falls in the forest.
• 31:13
  They're the only person that really matters as, as you partner.
• 31:16
  And I suppose quite often they get people in there here,
• 31:19
  like talking to them about it.
• 31:20
  But as long as, as, you know, you're clear with them and they know where it is,
• 31:24
  then, then that's all good.
• 31:26
  It's easy to assume that it's about anyone.
• 31:29
  If you don't, if you're not there living their life,
• 31:31
  you don't know all the facts.
• 31:33
  So it's easy to make assumptions from afar.
• 31:36
  So Don's partner knows how their relationship works financially.
• 31:40
  Why partners know?
• 31:41
  So that's all that needs to, that's all that matters.
• 31:44
  They obviously are happy with the things,
• 31:46
  the way things are going or they wouldn't be here.
• 31:49
  Does it, does it ever feel like there's a,
• 31:51
  I hope this doesn't sound judgmental and it might.
• 31:54
  So just perfect thing in advance.
• 31:58
  You both date people who are quite a bit younger than you.
• 32:01
  Just accidentally.
• 32:02
  I know it wasn't a planned joint decision.
• 32:05
  But like, you know, what comes with that is people that are earlier in their career, right?
• 32:10
  And so they aren't earning less because they're less experienced.
• 32:13
  And of course, like, their earning potential will grow as their skills grow and they
• 32:18
  evolve in their roles.
• 32:19
  So I understand the idea that that's not like a stagnant fixed way that it's always going to be.
• 32:25
  But have you ever felt an imbalance or an equality in that?
• 32:29
  I'm just curious because I've never,
• 32:31
  I've been a one dynamic with someone who earn like half as much as me.
• 32:36
  And it was kind of a point of contention, honestly.
• 32:40
  Like, and I don't know if it was, you know, the way that I was behaving,
• 32:43
  that was making him feel like that.
• 32:45
  I don't, I don't really know, but I'm just curious to understand.
• 32:49
  For both of you, has that ever been uncomfortable or growing pains?
• 32:55
  No, with, with, with my partner, there hasn't been a problem.
• 32:58
  The problem probably comes from me internally.
• 33:00
  Like, I, I, like, I want to do more.
• 33:02
  Or, you know, I want to treat, treat you better or if we have holidays.
• 33:06
  Like, I want to, you know, take it in nicer hotels or whatever.
• 33:09
  And there's just not the, not the funds available at the moment.
• 33:13
  From my experience, I haven't, I don't really discuss my money with,
• 33:17
  with my partners.
• 33:19
  Um, so if I just think about my previous partner and my head just for the example,
• 33:24
  and he earned, like, let obviously a lot less money than me,
• 33:29
  but we weren't flashy, we weren't flashy together.
• 33:33
  Like, we just live our life.
• 33:34
  We eat dinner, we, you know, we go to the movies every now and then,
• 33:38
  you know, you, you do grocery shopping, you, you pay the phone bill,
• 33:41
  the rent, like just normal standard living stuff.
• 33:44
  Anything like he wants to go do buys clothes, buys own clothes,
• 33:48
  or upgrades, computer or whatever that's, that's on him,
• 33:52
  that's his money, he does that.
• 33:53
  They pay for their things they want,
• 33:55
  but we'll pay for the flights and accommodation because we want to go.
• 33:59
  And we want them to have the same experience as us.
• 34:00
  So we're not going to go, oh, you can't, I'm going to go in New Zealand,
• 34:03
  but you're going to have to fly jet stars.
• 34:05
  You know, we're not going to do that, you know.
• 34:07
  Did you feel like that in the relationship when you two were together,
• 34:10
  like in terms of wanting to provide more,
• 34:13
  or did it, because that's quite different, right?
• 34:15
  Like when you were both in radio and earning the same amount of money,
• 34:18
  did you still feel a pressure to provide more or to do more?
• 34:23
  No, no, and we were never even flashy, flashy then,
• 34:26
  but you're earning good money and it's lucky that we had the,
• 34:29
  I don't know, four-sided if that's the word,
• 34:31
  just like invested in property.
• 34:34
  Because, you know, there was just, there was just money to do that.
• 34:36
  So we sort of kept ourselves leveraged financially.
• 34:40
  Getting into property is such a good thing, because I'm a shitsaver.
• 34:44
  So if we had not bought our first house, we never have any of us.
• 34:49
  Because, you know, you buy your first house, you have it for a few years,
• 34:52
  you have this equity, so you can buy a second house.
• 34:54
  You understand why it's called the ladder, right?
• 34:56
  It's just so, property is so amazing.
• 35:00
  It's just like getting on that ladder is so hard,
• 35:02
  but once you're on it, you know, you see it for life, I reckon.
• 35:05
  Yeah, because that's pretty more my drive than yours,
• 35:08
  I would say, but if there was any money just sitting there like,
• 35:11
  just in the bank, twiddling its fingers and thumbs,
• 35:14
  JJ would have spent it.
• 35:15
  Yeah, I mean, if there's money going out of mortgages,
• 35:17
  then it's like money that she can't, she couldn't touch.
• 35:21
  I actually will never forget the lot like in that conversation we had a couple of years ago,
• 35:25
  where we were talking about saving.
• 35:26
  And JJ was like, oh, if there's any winner of $1,000,
• 35:29
  it goes straight away, because I'm like, all fine, I can spend it.
• 35:32
  For me, I've got this really terrible mentality of,
• 35:35
  you can't take it with you when you die.
• 35:37
  And why would you want to be miserable just saving up all this money?
• 35:41
  And then you die before you get to spend it, right?
• 35:42
  I'm like, have a good time now.
• 35:44
  You'll pay the game in two more weeks.
• 35:47
  And then, worry about it.
• 35:49
  Well, I can't take it with you when you die.
• 35:52
  And we've got, I've got no one to leave it to.
• 35:54
  That's not true.
• 35:56
  I mean, you still are in a position where you're reasonably intertwined
• 35:59
  from a family perspective, right?
• 36:01
  Like, I imagine that was probably one of the reasons
• 36:03
  that you've stayed in your job for a long time.
• 36:05
  Financial support for other failing family members out of trouble.
• 36:11
  Yeah.
• 36:11
  Or like, you know, your mum, like,
• 36:13
  Oh, no, we'll look after my mum, yeah.
• 36:15
  But that's, I've gotten a tens of links,
• 36:17
  but I'll look after my mum and one brother.
• 36:20
  In the West, you look after yourselves.
• 36:22
  We're lucky enough to have been in a position where both our respective mums
• 36:28
  through kind of no fault of their own,
• 36:30
  through just divorce and shit happening in life,
• 36:33
  they ended up sort of letting, you know,
• 36:35
  middle-agedish, I guess, with nothing to show for their lives.
• 36:39
  So we were lucky enough to be in a position where we bought them a place each.
• 36:43
  So they lived, like, rent-free and central Auckland,
• 36:46
  which they would not have been able to do otherwise.
• 36:49
  So in terms of anything above and beyond that,
• 36:51
  I mean, the correct order of thing would be that they'll die before us.
• 36:55
  And then the properties that they live in will get them back
• 36:58
  and that will make up part of the retirement savings.
• 37:00
  But if you can help your family members while you're still here,
• 37:02
  rather than, you know, like, wait until you die or whatever,
• 37:06
  then I think that's the great way to do things fine.
• 37:08
  No, 100%.
• 37:09
  I'm not leaving it in here since it's time to go and have a fun time with,
• 37:12
  because I want to have a fun time with it.
• 37:14
  But I think that's such a cool way to do it,
• 37:16
  where it's almost the opposite, right?
• 37:18
  Because most of the time people don't share their money or the assets with their family
• 37:22
  until they die, so they don't get to be there to see them enjoy it,
• 37:25
  or experience it, or be grateful as a, you know, thank you.
• 37:29
  But we don't need kids.
• 37:30
  So it's almost the opposite.
• 37:31
  So like, who do we leave our money to?
• 37:34
  You know, I mean, I'm not close enough to my,
• 37:38
  apart from my mum and my brother, anyone else in my family that I would want to leave money to.
• 37:43
  You know, I actually have a charity in my will that I'll leave money to,
• 37:47
  because I would rather it went.
• 37:48
  Can I ask what charity it is?
• 37:50
  I don't want to say.
• 37:50
  Okay.
• 37:51
  Why would you not want to say?
• 37:52
  Yes, I just don't want to say, because what if I change my mind 10 years down the track
• 37:56
  or something?
• 37:57
  You know, and then I'm sitting there and it's just,
• 37:59
  well, what if they want, they send someone a hitman out to keep me just a little money?
• 38:04
  One thing I will say, JoJo is very charitable.
• 38:07
  When we were living together, there was a post at note just on the back of the front door,
• 38:11
  so whenever a click came and was like, hey, kill it on from worldwide life fund,
• 38:15
  do you want to sign up for a monthly donation?
• 38:17
  It's just like, sure thing.
• 38:18
  Yeah, so I got to the point where whenever the door knocked,
• 38:21
  I'd get it and then I could say, no, at our monthly commitments,
• 38:25
  and I think I'd better read the post at note.
• 38:27
  We already make monthly donations to ESP, CA, Greenpeace, this, this, this,
• 38:34
  because JoJo's like, oh, I'd be watching TV.
• 38:36
  She'd go to the door and she'd come back 15 minutes over like, who is that?
• 38:39
  She'd be like, oh, someone they bullied me into a monthly donation.
• 38:43
  I only donate to four charities monthly now, because I don't have the money.
• 38:47
  What was it at one point?
• 38:49
  Was that quite a lot more than that?
• 38:50
  Oh, God, yeah, it was quite a lot.
• 38:51
  It was a big post.
• 38:52
  The ones I donate to now, which I'll do my, I'll tell you monthly,
• 38:55
  none of them are in my well, is Red Cross, Amnesty International, Brave Hearts,
• 39:02
  which is, it's a support group for people who have someone in their family that's on P,
• 39:07
  you know, drug addicts, and you know, when someone in your family's on drugs,
• 39:12
  you, you feel so alone, who do I talk to?
• 39:13
  So this is actually a support group of a lot of people who have someone in their families.
• 39:17
  You think it's the person, just that person who's affected, but it's not, it spreads.
• 39:20
  And, um, I find it, it is up to me, like, quite amazing, you know, and,
• 39:27
  and your situation changing so much in the, in the last year, and you're still giving that much.
• 39:34
  Like, Sarah, no, Sarah, say, I know that you don't, this for you is not really like,
• 39:38
  it's just normal, and you're just such a giving person.
• 39:40
  You always have been and you always will be.
• 39:42
  But I think that it's super rare and it's so amazing.
• 39:46
  And actually, I wonder if without even realizing it, the amount of joy that you do get from
• 39:53
  giving, I think, unless someone's experienced what it feels like to be selfless with your
• 39:58
  resources, you don't understand, like, there's so many studies that show that, like,
• 40:03
  giving and helping others brings you your own personal joy.
• 40:06
  But there's so many people, particularly in the West, don't really do that.
• 40:10
  Like, it's not part of our budget to put money towards other people.
• 40:12
  It's just a little bit, it's just a little bit, a little bit, but you know, it does all add up.
• 40:16
  And these organisations and so many charities to support, like, I'll always give to
• 40:20
  breast cancer foundation and the child cancer foundation and the city mission and all that as well.
• 40:24
  When, you know, occasionally, when, when all the stroke foundation, that's my other one.
• 40:30
  But so you give them a little bit, but that really helps them a lot.
• 40:33
  They do a lot of work.
• 40:35
  Like, if you ever get cancer, you're going to wish that more people had given money to the
• 40:40
  breast cancer foundation or whatever, or you can be grateful that they did because of all the
• 40:44
  research that they've done and you've been able to, you know, get the support and record
• 40:49
  and medicine that you need.
• 40:50
  So I just think like, we can all help each other.
• 40:53
  We all should give a little bits to someone because we're all in this together.
• 40:58
  So if you can afford it, even if it's just 20 bucks a month or 10 bucks a month,
• 41:01
  like, it's not, you don't have to give a lot, but I think everyone should have at least one
• 41:06
  charity that they regularly support and don't just say, yeah, I stick a dollar in the bucket
• 41:11
  when I see the deaf at all day person, but you actually find something that you think is meaningful
• 41:15
  to you or maybe, maybe if there's nothing meaningful, just pick a random charity that you think
• 41:20
  you want to help.
• 41:21
  Everyone has something they care about and I think that that's what's so important.
• 41:25
  And like such an important message with that is that there's so many deserving charities,
• 41:31
  right? There's so many people and places and animals and everything that needs money.
• 41:37
  Yeah, that's my fourth one.
• 41:38
  Yes, you just reminded me, how can I forget that?
• 41:41
  But you can't donate to all of them, but even if it has that thing they care about,
• 41:46
  then we're covering all bases, you know?
• 41:48
  Yeah, and you may think, well, it must be nice to be in that position of privilege,
• 41:52
  we can do that, but if you buy yourself, say more than one takeaway coffee a week,
• 41:56
  you can fucking do it too, you can.
• 42:00
  Yeah, but I feel like for a lot of us, it's like a scarcity sort of mindset,
• 42:04
  or it's the fear of money running out or not having enough that you actually can.
• 42:10
  And altruism feels really good.
• 42:13
  You know, it's like people say giving's better than receiving it.
• 42:15
  It actually is. It makes you feel really good.
• 42:17
  If you are on a regular salary or wage, then I think you should give a little bit of a few
• 42:23
  dollars to someone. If you're not, if you're obviously on a benefit or you're really low income
• 42:30
  or whatever, then, you know, you need every cent that you get.
• 42:34
  But if you actually have a social life, then all you have Netflix, then I think you should
• 42:40
  get five dollars to someone or what, regularly or 50 bucks a month, like it's not much really.
• 42:47
  You can also try it and just give a small amount and just see, okay, cool, that's not affecting
• 42:52
  my life and increase it. You know, you don't have to go out of the gates with 500 all the
• 42:55
  month, like that's unrealistic for most people, but it could be a small amount and then increase it.
• 43:00
  And you can quit at any time, like you've rang up and you say, I need to stop my payments
• 43:04
  at the moment. I'm unable to give you any money. I've had to do that with a few charities,
• 43:08
  and it's fine. I'd love to just talk about the really good decisions that you've made together,
• 43:13
  the good financial decisions. What have been some of the best investments you've made?
• 43:16
  Has there been anything outside of property that you're really proud of the way you've used your
• 43:20
  money? Hot lab. Yeah. Oh, let's give it a plug. It's a podcast recording studio. Here we are.
• 43:26
  And we've put all of our money into it. It's cost a lot of money to set up, but we just know
• 43:32
  that this is what we want to do for the next, you know, until we retire or whatever. Help people
• 43:39
  make podcasts and it's really satisfying. It's really good. For example, you say there were two
• 43:44
  different clients that came in. One was this young girl from Northland who was shitskid,
• 43:50
  wants to a podcast, has never spoken on a microphone before. So just like helping her and like
• 43:56
  holding your hand and talking her through the journey, that was really rewarding. And then
• 43:59
  yesterday afternoon, a group came in with a sports podcast that knew exactly what they wanted,
• 44:03
  and they're like, we want to have four people on our podcast, each with headphones on,
• 44:07
  with the ability for the producer to sit in the control room and talk to each of the hosts
• 44:11
  individually through their headphones, which was a problem that we had no idea how to fix,
• 44:15
  but we just said yes, and then made it happen. So it's just helping people create amazing content,
• 44:22
  whatever end of the spectrum they're on. It's really good. And it's not making money yet,
• 44:27
  but we've only been in business say six, seven months now. And you can see we're losing less
• 44:34
  and less money each month. So very shortly, we'll break even. And then you just see. It's amazing.
• 44:39
  Within the first year to get to break even is phenomenal. So I've just got the confidence from
• 44:45
  like going through our radio careers, which were quite similar and you as Sophie would have been
• 44:49
  the same. And then the podcast journey and others, you just know it just makes sense. If you keep
• 44:54
  moving forward and keep working every day, working hard in one direction, everything ends up falling
• 45:01
  into place. Can we just round up this conversation by speaking to anyone that's either thinking about
• 45:08
  separating from their long-term partner, maybe have just separators. I think there's a huge
• 45:14
  amount of fear and what ifs and unknowns that come with leaving your security blanket, let's say.
• 45:22
  And whether that person is the breadwinner or you are, I mean, it's the idea that you're
• 45:27
  potentially going to be a sole person in the world. And that means looking after yourself
• 45:33
  financially, which is scary. And I think, you know, we spoke about JJ, like the confidence and
• 45:40
  what kind of drove you to make the work decision, but just as much fear and doubt and oh my god,
• 45:46
  this could be worse on the other side comes with leaving a long-term relationship.
• 45:50
  Yeah, I think so. I think that's actually harder in words.
• 45:53
  Well, there's so many emotions involved, right? And also someone that you've been in a relationship
• 45:57
  with, you're going to have, or you could have if you choose to, ties for the rest of your life,
• 46:01
  whereas you leave a job and you can kind of leave it at the door. I'd love to ask your thoughts or
• 46:09
  advice, or if you have anything to share for people who are thinking about how they navigate
• 46:15
  a relationship breakup, particularly one where they've been in kind of a business relationship,
• 46:20
  a marriage, for a long period of time. A lot of it comes down to the relationship you have with
• 46:26
  the person, like you know, you're splitting up and you're not going to be talking to each other
• 46:30
  and you hate each other's guts, and you can't even stand between the same room together.
• 46:34
  You know, you're going to be fucked. So, you know, if you can keep it as amicable as possible and
• 46:38
  try and look always for the thing that you once liked about that person, and I know this is
• 46:46
  idealistic, so I know for a lot of people listening to this or watching this, that's just simply not
• 46:50
  possible at all, for whatever reason, whatever water is under the bridge. Yeah, I don't know. We
• 46:56
  say we're so unique in that one. I think you should just keep professional advice.
• 47:01
  Like if you're planning on leaving someone, I would plan in advance and talk to the right,
• 47:05
  get some professional financial advice from somewhere about what you should do about splitting
• 47:10
  the money and all that. If you don't think you can talk to your partner about it, but if you
• 47:14
  if you do, then you can have a conversation like we do or continue the relationship financially,
• 47:19
  but if you think that you won't be able to do that, I think get someone advice from someone who
• 47:24
  knows what they're talking about in terms of money. Yeah, because an uncle of mine, that's in
• 47:29
  banking. When we first broke up, I wish I could remember the exact thing he said, but he goes,
• 47:34
  he goes, every relationship breakup, they go through a stage of mountains, is Mount Pleasant,
• 47:38
  and there's Mount Difficulty, and there's all these different mounts, and I was like, we're fine,
• 47:43
  we're going to be good, and he goes, no, you're on Mount Pleasant at the moment, and a lot of couples
• 47:47
  that break up, they do that, they're like, oh, we'll keep the house and we'll wait until the market
• 47:50
  settles, and then someone finds a new partner or something changes, and then it blows everything up.
• 47:56
  But the least conflict you have in your life, the better it is. So if there's a way that you can
• 48:03
  navigate the departure of a relationship where you still get on good, and you can work it out,
• 48:08
  it's going to be better for you, it's going to be better for your ex, it's going to be better for
• 48:12
  the kids, if this kid's involved, it's going to be better for everyone. The Curve Investing Club
• 48:17
  is the world's first digital investing club for women to build their wealth. It's a place where
• 48:22
  industry experts like myself and beginners can really, really join forces to share knowledge,
• 48:28
  swap ideas, and make money through investing. So if you're listening to this podcast,
• 48:32
  you probably are aware that saving alone unfortunately can't make your millionaire, but investing
• 48:38
  definitely could. So we wholeheartedly believe in the power of community in that the best investment
• 48:44
  ideas come when we collaborate and learn with each other. So bring your friends, your mum, even
• 48:50
  strangers on the street if you want. There really is strength in numbers and we're so excited
• 48:56
  to create a community that's just for you. So do you think that maybe for couples who are thinking
• 49:03
  about separating or if there's a way of keeping it amicable to an extent that it could actually
• 49:12
  be really beneficial to keep things together, like based on your experience and how that's worked
• 49:17
  out for you, or do you think that it's, do you think that yours is like an incredibly unique
• 49:22
  different situation for most people actually separating would make most sense? It's unique,
• 49:25
  like I wouldn't be flying the flag and saying, you just keep your money together when you break up
• 49:30
  and things like that. I wouldn't say that at all. I think you just have to work out what's best for
• 49:35
  you, like what would work for you? Like it works for us because of this, you know, all the things we
• 49:42
  have intertwined and we didn't, we couldn't be bothered with the admin of dividing everything up
• 49:46
  at that point. And actually, I just think our money together is stronger than if I was by myself,
• 49:51
  or Tom was by himself. It just is. So we've worked it out, we've worked it out that we've
• 49:57
  been able to keep it together for now, right? But I will say, none of this is intended as financial advice.
• 50:02
  It's not entirely about a disclaimer. Oh, thank God for that. Yeah, like I say, I'm terrible with
• 50:08
  money. So don't take advice on me. We're just telling you our story. No, no, no. I mean, no,
• 50:12
  it's going to be following this is the playbook. We just want everyone to get along. That's
• 50:19
  it. Okay. We just want you all to get along. I wonder if my psychoanalyzing of the situation,
• 50:25
  I wonder if there's, I think one of the reasons maybe that this has worked out in the way it has
• 50:32
  is because you always worked together, you've always been really successful and compatible. I mean,
• 50:39
  of course, everyone has their times, they hate who they work with. But like for the most part,
• 50:43
  as a co-worker or someone that you work alongside to achieve the same goal, being in that show
• 50:49
  together for such a long time, maybe is how now outside of that, from like your personal finances
• 50:58
  and now your business, it's like you've kind of always had mutual respect and working together
• 51:03
  as a part of the DNA of your relationship. It probably helps. So maybe that is the piece that's
• 51:08
  like it works better together and it always has. Yeah, I think that's probably right. It's
• 51:17
  yeah, we're lucky with that's just the way it's been and that's just the way it's going to
• 51:21
  keep going. I wish I had a clear answer to you, but you don't need to pull. No, you don't at all.
• 51:28
  I think it's just like really fascinating to hear. I'm hoping we're going to actually hate
• 51:31
  us for this because they're going to be so mad. But you guys are so happy and so everything's
• 51:38
  going so well for you. I think it's just so refreshing to see a different way of doing things,
• 51:42
  you know, like and there's so much pressure I think. Well, I feel it as someone who's like
• 51:50
  recently single and thinking about like what kind of person would I want to be in a relationship
• 51:54
  with and what would that look like? You know, you're not just thinking about, okay, if I wanted to
• 51:59
  have kids who would be a good dad, but you also think someone that you ideally want to be in
• 52:04
  partnership with forever, right? Whether you're together or not, how will that person be in all
• 52:10
  walks of life and you never know that? Like it's always that you never know how someone's going
• 52:14
  to behave. There's so many boxes you have to tick Sophie. But it feels so much better to be like,
• 52:19
  you know, because money is such a massive part of a relationship and how you function in the world
• 52:26
  that like it can be. Yeah, and it's the thing that can bring out the worst in people. I don't
• 52:32
  think it's I don't think it's a contributing factor to our relationship though. It really isn't
• 52:36
  it's not something we focus on or it's not. But I think it's because it's such a non-issue for you
• 52:42
  that you are so aligned and you work together so well that it's not. I've always been like that
• 52:47
  even when we first met when we were 25 years old and we had nothing. Like it's just for us we're not
• 52:52
  obsessed with money. So, me least me so. Oh, no, probably more. I didn't panic about it. Yeah,
• 53:02
  I don't know. I don't know the answer. Well, thank you for being so honest. It's so hard to answer.
• 53:06
  I'm just different. Also, we should have coordinated about our outfits so much better. I'm like
• 53:11
  looking at the screen like bright red, bright blue, a weird minty green and now the logo behind
• 53:16
  doesn't like this. Luckily, this is a podcast and most people will be listening. True, true.
• 53:22
  So, it's great to see you again. Oh, it's been so nice and I'm just really proud of pod lab
• 53:27
  and I can't wait to see it take off. And for anyone that wants to use the studio, we'll put the
• 53:32
  lake in the podcast show notes. Just google it and we have a black black background as well.
• 53:38
  Building a second studio with interchangeable things. I know. Oh, wow. Yeah, it does look good.
• 53:49
  Beautiful. But thank you guys so much. It was so awesome to have you on the podcast and for
• 53:53
  anyone that wants to go back and listen to the first episode with JJ, I'd recommend we'll
• 53:57
  like that in the podcast show notes too. Thanks so much for listening to Raising the Curve. These
• 54:03
  conversations are designed to teach you everything you need to know to be better with your money,
• 54:07
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• 54:11
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• 54:14
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• 54:17
  And it only takes one second and it would really make our week a month, our year. Yeah, yeah.
• 54:23
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• 54:29
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• 54:34
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• 54:43
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• 54:48
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• 54:53
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• 54:56
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