Latest / STOPTIME: Live in the Moment. / Terron Brooks: Leading With A Pure Heart

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Terron Brooks: Leading With A Pure Heart · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Lisa Hopkins: This is the stop time podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought provoking motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at.
• 0:46
  Lisa Hopkins: So my next guests artistry has taken him all over the world, with a voice described by the Los Angeles Times as smooth and soulful. His Broadway credits include Simba and The Lion King, seaweed and hairspray. He is widely recognized for his critically acclaimed role as Eddie Kendricks in the Emmy award winning NBC miniseries The Temptations and is a two time NAACP Award nominee as a vocalist He has performed with among others, so do check out his bio please and his links.
• 1:17
  Lisa Hopkins: Stevie Wonder Josh Groban, Randy Jackson, one Republican smokey Robbins, and he has a unique gift to celebrate life through music, and inspire all of those who have had the great pleasure of hearing his song. It's with great pleasure that I introduce you all to Turon Brooks.
• 1:33
  Lisa Hopkins: Welcome, Terron.
• 1:36
  Terron: How you doing? Happy New Year,
• 1:38
  Lisa Hopkins: you too. Thank you for coming again for 2.0. And, you know, stuff happens. But this is a gift an opportunity, I think, to revisit and check in with where we're at now.
• 1:49
  Terron: I agree sometimes have you ever reheated a meal? And it's been better than the first time? Maybe that'll happen today?
• 1:55
  Lisa Hopkins: Absolutely. I'm not holding on to any old recipes.
• 2:00
  Lisa Hopkins: So just, you know, right off the top, I'm so curious to know, what would you say is is top of mind for you these days, what's holding the space.
• 2:08
  Terron: Um you know, we come to a new year with resolutions and things that we aspire for the year. And I think those are good. But I've decided this year to make a shift off of the things that I want to do goals and accomplishments and make a shift to personal growth, personal character growth. And so the top of mine comes to me as being more the word is not appropriate to everyone but selfish thinking about myself first putting myself first to be able to help other people. But I think sometimes we ignore ourselves. And so for 2022, I'm really, that's the only thing I feel like I can maybe control is is is myself not circumstances, but myself my behavior, my thoughts, my perspective. So what's holding space for me right now is actually being responsible and actually being accountable having maybe one or two people that I could tell, these are my goals that I want for myself, I want to be better, I want to see things differently, and I slip into these cracks, or these Would you help me if you see that going this way. And then what I believe by doing that focus on myself, whatever doors, I want to be open, whatever goals and resolutions, all those broader things, I'll be the person to be able to walk through those doors. If I focus on myself, because we don't know what's open, what's going to happen.
• 3:34
  Terron: And I'm not saying that I'm not goal oriented, but I just think to answer your question, yeah, more reflection on myself on how I'm feeling every day. Am I happy? Am I empty? Am I what am I feeling and trying to deal with those things? And I think I'll be a better service to others when I do that. Yeah, no, absolutely. That makes perfect sense. You know, I'm hearing loud and clear that you're, you know, a deeper connection to self at the moment is what's calling your calling your energy? I think so. And I think I've seen results, you know, when you do something, they say insanity is doing the same thing over with no results, but what about the things you do with results that you actually see that work? You know, you start to go and you can be addicting in a positive way, like, oh, I changed this, I changed that.
• 4:17
  Terron: Just practically I decided to wake up earlier in the morning, on January 1, I said, You know what, I'm gonna wake up, and just that small physical thing has shifted a lot. So you, you can take a baby step into bigger things you want to do, but yeah, I've seen some positive growth from 2020 and 21. Although we were in pandemic, I've seen some resilience on my part, I've seen some ways that I was able to react to things that were progressive and positive and healthy. And I want more of that is what I'm saying.
• 4:50
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, that's brilliant. I completely hear, you know, going into the, you know, into this whole, you know, new paradigm, you know, there have been all these stages, right? That a lot that we hear people going through and in in the beginning and still at some of my elderly family members.
• 5:06
  Lisa Hopkins: You know, there's been this sort of commitment to when when things come back, and you know, the waiting let's call it just the waiting and and I'm so curious to know what you've observed outside yourself and also in yourself in terms of Moving forward into your own paradigm.
• 5:28
  Terron: I feel like what's what the last two years or, or moments have shown us is, is that things are unpredictable.
• 5:35
  Terron: And whatever we're waiting for seems to change or seems to be conditional on something else.
• 5:40
  Terron: Right. And so the beauty of of seeing that picture, even though that feels restrictive, and confining, and, you know, terrifying in some ways, is to pivot to adjust to allow, you know, to mean, the what's being presented to us as a way to not always be surprised by it, or blindsided or disappointed by it, but as an open arm acceptance of it, until things change again, or when they change again, you know, my family, we went to Hawaii this past year. Now, before 2020, we weren't doing anything, right.
• 6:18
  Terron: So I could say, okay, 2021, my family went to Hawaii. And now we can't do anything, right, I could have that attitude. Or I could say, I got to remember those wonderful days in Hawaii that I got to, and focus on the now the here and the now and what's we're able to do the blessings of whatever we get to do, as opposed to the restrictions and the things that come against us to harm what we can't do in the future. Because the future is not real, meaning what's real is just right now, so I think if we hold a space of gratitude for what we can allow, and if we learn to open, not tight fisted, close everything, I don't accept it, allow what this is, you know, and it doesn't mean that it will be forever, I think that might be the fear. And that's just too heavy. It's too much to think about, how is it gonna work? And when is it? You know, just today, what can we allow? What are your plans that you can maybe make in the 24 hour period that you can and I know that's hard for people who have families like me, and you want to prepare for our future, but I'm allowing to be shifted and changed in a way that doesn't have to be so negative. And in the way where you're really tasting that piece of cake that you're eating right now that food that you're eating right now, that sunset that you're seeing right now, because then all of a sudden, everything that was good is totally evaporated, and you're only focusing on the negative and what you don't have, I think, yes, people, we just are nature to do that, you know, having a high day. And then when it's a bad day, it's like nothing ever happened. I mean, I literally heard people complaining about 2021 On December 31. And then on January 1, those same people, when it's a new day were complaining about if you it's not a pandemic, it's you. You know, it's you, it's how you see the world, you know, in our greed for all things good, all things? Well, I will honestly say that I feel like we're robbed of these fire brimming moments to refine ourselves, the only thing that we can learn is through, I'm not saying tragedy and wonderful, and we should celebrate those things. But I know that because of some of the things that have been lost, I have gained so much in the way that I thought think think of things and tell you the truth, as an anxious person. You know, it sounds like I have it all together. But these are the tools that I have to hold on to.
• 8:42
  Terron: So I won't go into the place that you're talking about.
• 8:45
  Terron: Because I haven't arrived to this place of that. But I just know I need to slow down and settle myself and allow except, you know, and then if I have a long list of things that I need to do, most importantly, are the things that I can control. And the other thing is on that long list, I just have to cross those out. They're not going to be able to be things that I'm going to be able to, to manage, but I can manage waking up on early in the morning making my bed.
• 9:12
  Terron: Whatever meditation I do, you know, I can manage the working out I can manage. And those things make bigger differences than we allow
• 9:19
  Lisa Hopkins: 100% And yeah, I mean, it's so funny, because we all talk about, oh, what has changed? You know, it's been it's always been like that in life. It's just that this has really shone light on we cannot control everything. So we felt kind of in a weird way good about it. I feel like in the beginning because we all had a big snow day. Yes, we were shut down. It actually kind of felt, you know, I mean, not to take away from you know, the obvious, but in terms of having something else make a decision for us that we all were in the same boat.
• 9:54
  Lisa Hopkins: collective trauma, but also collective slowdown.
• 9:57
  Terron: Yeah, that was kind of amazing to feel like it's every single person no matter your nationality raised or what status celebrity you have to face this thing and it made everybody to me more human. Yep.
• 10:07
  Terron: It made everybody else kind of maybe assess how we're all in this thing together. So yeah, you're right. I think we're a little bit we were a little bit delusional. I think that's the scary thing that I always say you know, to have Lose, you know, happiness or real happiness, to really find out that the things you build everything on weren't that and you were just we and a really find out that that's nothing or to really put your energy and investment in something that's real might be slow starting and may not be as big as a monument to show everybody but real happiness, you know, or joy I call it because I think happiness is conditioned on I think joy is something that you can hold on to all the time. You know, I think I'll be honest, I've delusion myself into thinking, I'm this I'm great.
• 10:53
  Terron: I'm okay, you know, and until I had to face it and see it.
• 10:57
  Terron: That's where the pain said And wow, everything I thought wasn't true. But you can shift that you can change. You know,
• 11:04
  Lisa Hopkins: that's right, I think understanding that everything is a spectrum. And that you don't suddenly arrive to some kind of enlightenment about how you're going to handle something, nor do you ever arrive to the thing that you think is going to make you happy? Yes. Because it just never does. Right?
• 11:17
  Terron: How many of us don't know that though? You know, that that spectrum? We're waiting for a finite ending a finite beginning? And, gosh, I think that's a sad state for people.
• 11:27
  Terron: And they're always, you know, surprised because they're like, oh, this change? Well, yeah, it's a constant ebb and flow, it's a constant season change.
• 11:33
  Terron: So it's more of people accepting it, and I get it, it'll take it however, it is for each person to really accept these are the times. And this situation? Yeah.
• 11:47
  Terron: Um, I get the journey of that.
• 11:50
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, for sure. Um, what would you say? Is your your Achilles heel?
• 11:56
  Terron: Oh, ah, easy. My ego.
• 11:56
  Terron: You know, when I think I am, more than I am when I think I am entitled to something when I think when I think with the part of my brain, because we all have egos that can be healthy. But the false me, the bigger me that's not there yet. That's where I start to get into trouble. kilise heel to move from my part, my true, authentic person, my real self, even in the darkness, and then in the moments that aren't so pretty, to an ego based presentation.
• 12:36
  Terron: And when I do that with myself, then again, what I'm talking about, that's what I do with others, I start to expect things of others, the ego does, you don't mean I start, you know, because I'm not being real with my own grace and my own self. So that that's the issue. That's the problem. And it's usually attached to worth so if I start to feel unworthy, I think I can unlock unlock it. Because I think for some of us, you have to call it out, like, what is it? What's wrong with me? Why am I off? It's too easy to kind of put a general thing out there, but for me, it's tied to its significance or worthiness. When I start to feel that I'm not worthy, or significant, or what I'm doing, or I don't matter, then Mr. Ego comes into to cover the basis of that. And I've learned to kind of, Okay, why don't I feel worthy? Is this true? You know, am I worthless, you know, and I try to unpack that as much as I can. And then I can rear ego back a little and say, Okay, no, no, this is what I really am. And I'm actually worthy of all this. And I'm actually confident and in the positive way, but the other stuff I can let go of, you know,
• 13:42
  Lisa Hopkins: yeah, yeah.
• 13:42
  Lisa Hopkins: Somewhere I read something beautiful. As, as, as Terron continues to open new doors, he makes sure he leads with his heart, right, with all he creates. "He wants people to know that no matter how rough or darker day may seem, it is a gift and there's always tomorrow." I'm not sure why I picked that up from those really beautiful. And I'm curious to know if what your personal definition is or looks like'leading from the heart'. I mean, it's it's a phrase that we've all heard, but obviously it's personal, right? What does it look like for you?
• 14:16
  Terron: Oh, um, wow, that's vulnerable? It's a great question. I think I I have faith. So I'm a man of faith, right? So I do think my heart is tied to something bigger. I'm not controlled, but willingly tied to something bigger so I think when I get to the heart of who I am and what I believe it's tied to, you know, a faith in God or something like that. And so when I talk about leading with my heart, I'm mixing in you know, my heart and my emotions and what we all call heart with also faith in a higher power are calling or my true true essence and core is tied to a love that won't ever fail me and so I want to lead with that heart with that love. And sometimes when I talked about the ego, I you can lead with the spotted heart, you know, I mean, and I'm not talking about being perfection, but as pure as I can be. I equate purity with with truth.
• 15:19
  Terron: So not perfection, but my pure intention, you know, And I want to lead with that because so many things cloud, that choice, you know, like ambition and things we want and other people and pain, and you know, the chaos of what's going on those, that's another spot. And then there's another spot, there's another spot. And, you know, so I try to unpack that, you know, probably on a daily basis, so then I can lead with, you know how you read that quote, with a pure heart. And if you do that, that connection with people is just so much stronger, even in your ugly moments or messy moments, or when you're that pure heart that leading with, Hey, I had to apologize to a friend the other day, and, you know, it was something bad and but I was like, I really am sorry, it was not intentional.
• 16:07
  Terron: And I went to text him the apology, and I was like, you know, I have to call them you know, and I it was really uncomfortable. I mean, you know, I don't mind apologizing. But I think the pain of knowing that I might have hurt someone and not intentional, and I had no excuse, really brought some humaneness to me to go, I have to humble myself and say, Hey, I'm human, I certainly didn't mean to hurt you, you have every right to be hurt in every right to be mad, would you accept my apology, and there was something beautiful about it, Bear. But that was my pure intention to lead with that I could have kind of deemed someone or made it.
• 16:40
  Terron: But I wanted to make him know that it was important for me to take whatever you need to say. I mean to listen and lead with with that pure heart. I think that's what I'm aiming for. Hmm,
• 16:54
  Lisa Hopkins: that's beautiful.
• 16:54
  Lisa Hopkins: Thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds, as you said, vulnerable and courageous, which in many ways are the same thing right there?
• 17:03
  Terron: Yeah, you know, you know, it's so funny. It's like, you know, the there's an adage, you know, you give what you want? Or, you know, and I, I've heard that so much. And I have egotistically demanded that of people when I'm given this, and you know, and I want this, you know, but when I really dive deep, I'm like, I'm not giving that really, you know, and so let me hold off on my expectations of everybody else, and what they should be giving me and try to figure out, am I really even giving what I really, really want, you know, and, and in my life, I really want authentic relationships, I want real encounters, I want people to know that with me, it's a safe place. Not to be judged to be encouraged, you know, to be pushed, if I love you, but not a judgmental place.
• 17:49
  Terron: And that's what I'm looking for in terms. So if I'm not giving that to myself, Well, how did I think that I deserve that from other people in my delusion, state of, you know, greed, or what what I think I might be possessing, so it's a stripping down, I think I think that's what we're doing. And some people feel uncomfortable, and that's why we want to go to the new normal, we want to hurry up and go back to the way things were. Because this is way too uncomfortable, you know, and I get it. But if you can move through the uncomfortable, I think you are undefeated, because you because that means anything that comes that's uncomfortable, you can face that head on, you know?
• 18:30
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. No, absolutely no more living in a in a world of, you know, emotional breadcrumbs. You know, like, did they notice the trail I'm leaving for how I want to feel? Right? Right. We were all guilty of that. Right? ULI?
• 18:48
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. You know, whether they you know, they're appearing in social media hints or whatever, or you know, that we see them and then we see the breadcrumbs, but we don't follow them deliberately. And then it all, you know, everything becomes this transactional kind of,
• 19:02
  Terron: oh, yes, yes, you're speaking. So I mean, I, that was another thing that happened in front, I was seeing something that happened, you know, and this person was liking everything that I had put up on social media, right. But then when it came time to, like, really make a comment about this thing, or support me in a real tangible way. I took the likes as well, that's liking support.
• 19:25
  Terron: That's a thumbs up for everyone else to see. But I didn't receive the support for real. So I call that person, you know what I mean? Because it doesn't I didn't need to write anything cryptic or manipulative or anything I just call and you I couldn't believe you know, this is a dear friend of mine. What this person was actually going through, saw the likes, but it didn't feel something wasn't coming together. And then by just me reaching out without the assumption, or the you know, playing games or whatever like that and being direct as I could, in the purity of love. So you're not in the purity of you did me wrong. I found out wow, you know, there was some things that were going on and the thumbs up was all the person could give. Yeah. And I was like, okay, but I wouldn't have known that. Like you said if I was like making my own Story are, you know?
• 20:25
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, great story. I mean, and I think it's important for the listeners to hear, I'm sure that we can all really identify with that, you know, it's just so easy just to
• 20:41
  Terron: the people, I say go first. Just go first, you know what I mean? We're waiting, we're waiting for someone to take a step. It's scary to go first. But in my life that I can only, you know, it's, it's, it's a high ratio, when I go first, usually the person meets me, there are occasions and times that there's it's a disaster, or loss or something like that, but and it does feel, you know, hard to the ego to feel like I always go first, you know what I mean?
• 21:12
  Terron: And here I go, I got to do it again. And I'm just waiting for someone. But I don't know, I think it's if people are worth it to you, that these people that you're grieving over, you know, if they're not, then they shouldn't be there anyway, you should try to find a way to separate that. So that's not a wait for you. But if they're mean something to you go for, you know, and buy time and in time, that branch that arm that hand, that part will gain the trust that maybe you won't have to do it all the time. First, you know, I know it's hard.
• 21:49
  Lisa Hopkins: It's hard. And what you're speaking to is what you were saying earlier to is exactly that, you know, in the work that I do, we talk about being givers. For many of us in this world, in this industry, you know, artists are givers, parents, but it's attached, as you said, we give because we love the feeling, it feels good to give, you know, you light someone else up, and that feels really great. But if for some reason they're having a bad day, and they don't light up in the way or don't like your pie that you baked for them all day. And you shoot down back to the you know, you throw the pie out the window or whatever, I'm using your metaphors, you know, you I know you're talking about food, but it's like, that's attached.
• 22:26
  Lisa Hopkins: Now, if you if you give them the pie, and they didn't like it could the giving in itself has to be enough. You just got to give because you want to give not because you want something back. Yeah. And it's hard. So you got to call yourself out.
• 22:39
  Lisa Hopkins: You're like you said lead, but lead because you want to
• 22:42
  Terron: lead. Yeah. And and you know what? It's okay not to give? Yeah, it's okay. If you find a situation where you're not whatever, that that's the thing. You don't have to deny yourself. I don't mean to deny yourself if you are a giver, and kind of withhold from people, but I do think you can be selective. You don't mean, you don't have to give your last dollar to the same person that never says thank you over and over again. That's really because you're a giver. I mean, that's, that's ridiculous. You know, so But But you're right, check yourself and look into it and say if if I continue to give to him, and they never say thank you, and I continue to do it each time, then let it just be I just know what I'm going to get.
• 23:19
  Terron: And I receive that. If I need something back and I'm not getting it. Have I communicated that to first of all, the person? No. Um, or maybe it's I can give it a different kind of way or say that gift for someone else, you know? So I think it's like you said with this spectrum and dislike this, and some things are different. Some people I'll give it, I don't care. You know what I mean?
• 23:39
  Terron: They're good. They get, they'll get my last daughter dollar. And I already know that some people I have to decide what kind of category that might be in what, you know, if I need something in return. You know what that is?
• 23:53
  Terron: Has that been stated? Do they know that or? Yeah. You know, you say people take advantage of you. Well, you did you let them you know, is different between a robbery. You know, somebody robbed you and came in and took your stuff? Yeah. Then we left the door open each time. And the keys under the mat where they know
• 24:14
  Lisa Hopkins: the differences, right? Loud and clear intent.
• 24:18
  Lisa Hopkins: When you rob someone when you're when you're a criminal. You have intent. Yeah, you want to rob them? Yes. Yeah. When you give if you don't give with intent, then you don't know what the hell you're gonna get back. And if you react to that, it's on you. Yeah. But if you you know, if the intention is to give a truly to give then by all means, give
• 24:41
  Terron: Yeah. Um,
• 24:44
  Lisa Hopkins: what do you what do you know, in this moment?
• 24:47
  Lisa Hopkins: What do you know may change will be true about you, no matter what happens. Whoa,
• 24:57
  Terron: these are good. Ah, you know what, I'm always asked a question I, you know, you try to think of the right answer, or do you think of the answer that's available? So I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to answer it with what's available. I want to know about me is that I will always try. I will always want to be better. Ah, I want to go higher, I want to have an elevated way of thinking I want to correct anything. That's not right. I always try, I will never give up. Hmm. And always be true.
• 25:36
  Terron: Hmm. For me?
• 25:40
  Lisa Hopkins: What? Why is that important to you?
• 25:44
  Terron: Because I believe that we're almost there. And how unfortunate to go so long in a journey to give up, when you really don't know how close you are. And I've seen in my own life, that my persistence has brought me a certain amount of wealth, and let's not say money, but a certain amount of wealth.
• 26:14
  Terron: Because I said, I tried again, I got back up, I didn't let that disappointment. Kill me. I didn't, you know, I got hit again. I loved again, I tried again, you know, it is shown me in my life, that that fortitude and that resilience in life until the end of the journey, you know, you can declare it's the end, you know, when I'm 50, if I don't do this, it's over.
• 26:37
  Terron: I'm not that person know, when it's the end, it's the end. And I'm going to try until the end, you know. So I think that that's where it comes from seeing again, not the insanity, but actually the gifts of things that work in this way that I'm saying, yeah, and, and hope just saying, Oh, my gosh, if it's tomorrow, and I gave up today how said I can wait till tomorrow, you know? Yeah, but you know, if it's next year. If I if I if I continue with this practice, then that's yes. Is that 12 months from now?
• 27:14
  Terron: Whatever. I can say, Oh, it's 12 months from now, or I can say it's just 12 months from now.
• 27:21
  Terron: Yep. How do you look at it?
• 27:23
  Lisa Hopkins: You know, 100%?
• 27:23
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. And you nailed it. I mean, it's, it's a practice isn't it is called practice, because it will never be perfect. Yeah, you know, and that's cool. Actually,
• 27:34
  Terron: like you said, but you know, are you invested in your life? You know, are you invested in your life, you know, you can invest in things, you could want money and go to the bank and get an investment or something, but are you personally invested in your life in building what you want to? And if you do that, first, you can, you know, all the other stuff that you want, hopefully will be there. But that's something that I know I can do. Rich or poor. I can invest. You know, I can believe I can set the practices that I get. I want so,
• 28:03
  Lisa Hopkins: yeah, no, absolutely. How do you want to be remembered?
• 28:10
  Terron: Um, I want to be remembered by love, you know, that that heart attachment thing? I want actually people to say speak of that, that they actually felt that. Hmm. I would love that. People would say that they felt that, you know, I my best friend's mom passed away, we had a celebration of life.
• 28:31
  Terron: And it was the first time I had been to anything, it wasn't a funeral. So you know, it's different. But any, any anything when you lose someone, it's the first time I've ever been where people were crying. But there was no grief. It there was no heaviness, you know, and this was a quick loss, a loss we weren't expecting and all that.
• 28:52
  Terron: But it was so beautiful, because the love was so rich. And the only comments that could have been said wasn't Oh, she's gone.
• 28:59
  Terron: I can't just how wonderful it was how much this person matter how much this person contributed how were changed because of this person, how we still feel the love of this person right now.
• 29:10
  Terron: It was so beautiful. I think that's what I want, you know, to be remembered for love that was tangible. Like I when I was withdrawn I felt it more hmm.
• 29:26
  Terron: Yeah. I feel it. Well, that's why the work that's why the work you're saying is so valuable, right and not to pump myself up.
• 29:35
  Terron: But without that work. You don't get it, you you know, they'll read that obituary and say this, this, whatever it on the page, but if you didn't, if you didn't, if you didn't go through something to unlock something that was so true, to connect, and I do believe that pain is the equalizer, you know? And I've learned to because I used to be a concealer, everything was fine. I'm okay I'm oh my gosh, God is good. And I used to be that person. You know, I didn't want you to feel bad for me or worry about me or feel that I couldn't help you because I didn't have my thing together.
• 30:08
  Terron: Now I'm like, Oh no, if I tell you everything is a mess in my life, but I still have hope.
• 30:15
  Terron: That's when we can have a real conversation you know, knowing that I'm worried too or I don't know or I'm have doubts too, even in faith. That's a connection, you know. And so the messiness of life, you know, allows for sometimes some richness to, you know,
• 30:34
  Lisa Hopkins: yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. What, what is your definition of living in the moment if you had one?
• 30:43
  Terron: Um, well, you know, it's gratitude. That's pretty simple.
• 30:48
  Terron: I guess, if you're going to live in the moment, and you're thankful, you know, that's how you keep it right now. You know, I think the easiest way to process it in the moment is just wow. And that can take a breath to, I've learned, sometimes by taking a breath, it reminds me, I'm alive. You know, I can exhale those things that are holding me, you know, that my whatever those concerns that you know, and let it come out of me, you know, yes, I can inhale a feeling of gratitude of, you know, in the moment, I can, okay, for the moment, I think so that keeps me the gratitude and the breath, the breath of now.
• 31:34
  Terron: keeps keeps it in, keeps it really in the moment. I think, you know, it's hard. I never liked the term, you know, you don't look back. You don't look back and not going back. We're moving forward. But reflection is positive to reflect on the past. Good. You know, the past challenges the past victories that, that, so very helpful for now. Because if I was like, Oh, God, if that happened for and that happened before, and I got through that before, and oh, that was a good time. And I, then that's an you know, it can help the present time. What we mostly focus on though, is not we focus on the bad and that cripples us, you know, or makes us feel like we're gonna go back to that bad moment or that bad time? Or, you know,
• 32:23
  Lisa Hopkins: yeah, being able to leverage it in a positive way for now. What the past you use it as data?
• 32:32
  Terron: Yeah, yes. Yes. Right.
• 32:35
  Lisa Hopkins: Literally right.
• 32:35
  Lisa Hopkins: And how it applies to now that's useful, good and bad.
• 32:39
  Terron: Very useful. And I think injure is trying to do that with the future.
• 32:44
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, yeah. Because you don't know the future is no data.
• 32:48
  Terron: But we don't we don't do that we we assume that this will be our future. And we're making references on something that's not there yet. So and we're afraid and we're frustrated, because, you know, we haven't even arrived to that place yet.
• 33:03
  Terron: We haven't earned it. But that's what we're doing. And I think that's dangerous, even though I want to before thinking and I want to believe that out get to that wonderful place. And I have it laid out and some of those dreams I see in my mind or believe that they will be there.
• 33:15
  Terron: But I can't use it as a reference. Because that's not you know, that you can calculate.
• 33:21
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, that's right. Yeah, no, it's so true.
• 33:22
  Lisa Hopkins: And that's what we just have to build each moment. Each moment is a step towards who knows, right?
• 33:28
  Terron: Yeah. If I know that I want my future to be a certain way. I'll start thinking backwards. Yep. And there is actually a building block for that. And I'm 100% Prepare. So when I look back here, what happened on January 6, last year, I can I can create that.
• 33:43
  Terron: And those will be momentous things that will move me forward. So there is control.
• 33:51
  Terron: There's something we can't have.
• 33:51
  Terron: Oh, yeah. It's something we can't be chefs have so we don't feel like we're mandated to do everything and we're our hands are tied. That's not true.
• 34:00
  Terron: There's something you can do, you know, create your future by creating creating your now.
• 34:03
  Terron: Yeah, no,
• 34:05
  Lisa Hopkins: yeah. 100% I mean, I say that a goal is a place to come from not a place to get to.
• 34:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Right. Can you finish this phrase? Most people think Terron Brooks is - but the truth is
• 34:27
  Terron: most people think to Terron Brooks is happy all the time. But the truth is I experience low, lower levels of emotion. I'm almost more often than the higher ones. I think because of my empathy. And my concern in my care, it doesn't lead me to depression or a bad space, but I do feel a lot. I see people where they are I feel pain. I feel that I would almost say that I feel that more but that infuses and that fuels and that helps me to respond with joy. So if you're going to look at me on the outside, most people would say to Terron is happy all the time. Oh, my God, you know, and they don't know what how I got there. Because more more The moment and this is not in a way where I'm saying it's bad. I'm just saying for me, yeah, I feel pain. And I'm allowing, I'm allowing it, I'm allowing to feel it, you know.
• 35:32
  Terron: And then I just have to figure out what to do with it. And so the joy that may be so potent that people feel, that's what I'm saying. It's because I'm connected to what's really real, you know? Yep. The tragic thing is, I used to feel responsible for that. I think that's what I'm changing within myself. I used to feel I'm responsible, I need to manage everybody's thing. And that was really not true. Um, the ego told me that I got excited if I thought I could do it. And so that made me feel significant or worthy, you know.
• 36:06
  Terron: And so now, I don't do that. I don't need to manage it either.
• 36:08
  Terron: I'm not responsible for that.
• 36:10
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. Like, oh,
• 36:12
  Terron: I can shine a light. I can help. Yeah, I can open a door and say it's down this way.
• 36:16
  Terron: But I don't know if I have to physically carry people's bags and things like I felt like I had to in the past.
• 36:25
  Lisa Hopkins: For sure. For sure. And that probably speaks to you know, your gratitude for the gifts that you have, and that you should be using them.
• 36:31
  Lisa Hopkins: You know, without sort of sprinkling in a little bit of Yeah, but you're gonna get tired. Right, yeah. Before we go, you want to jump in and do a little rapid fire. I'll say what makes you and you just say, whatever comes to your head.
• 36:48
  Lisa Hopkins: There we go. What makes you hungry?
• 36:53
  Terron: Macaroni and cheese.
• 36:56
  Lisa Hopkins: What makes you sad?
• 37:01
  Terron: My kids pain.
• 37:04
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. What inspires you?
• 37:08
  Terron: fullness of life.
• 37:11
  Lisa Hopkins: What frustrates you
• 37:16
  Terron: selfishness.
• 37:20
  Lisa Hopkins: What makes you laugh?
• 37:24
  Terron: Um, my wife sense of humor.
• 37:27
  Lisa Hopkins: And what makes you angry? I'm
• 37:29
  Terron: so, frauds, people who are frauds, huh? Yeah.
• 37:34
  Lisa Hopkins: Why does that make you angry?
• 37:38
  Terron: Um, because it's probably not the best attribute about me. But if I smell it, I get angry that you thought you could fool me. Ah, fair. So I'm sitting here going? What are you doing? Why are you doing that?
• 37:48
  Terron: Why are you saying that? Oh, my gosh, what are you doing? It makes me angry, maybe frustrated more. And just to know, hey, just stop all that stop. Yeah.
• 37:58
  Terron: And the fact that you think this performance is doing something?
• 38:04
  Terron: Is you know, it makes me it makes me feel like I'm not intelligent. You know what I mean? It makes you know, I mean, like,
• 38:10
  Lisa Hopkins: yep, yep. Totally, you're not being met where you're at? Yeah.
• 38:16
  Terron: And that's probably not that person's fault, because they've been doing it for so long, you know, but then that means they're totally not in tune. That's what I mean, they're not even present, because they're doing the same thing. Because the energy should shift when you go to a different kind of place. And if you still do the same thing, thinking you can school, the same people, and you're so unaware of that, then I think that's when I go oh, you know, let your guard down now and put it back on when you got to go someone else's house.
• 38:42
  Lisa Hopkins: Finally, what makes you grateful?
• 38:47
  Terron: Ah, moments like, honestly, just moments moments like this, because everything that I had said, and everything that you had allow from the space of truth. And so I'm very grateful to have moments. These are the moments I'm so much after. So much, you know. So moments like this where where?
• 39:10
  Terron: It's easy. It's easy, just just really, really talking. Yeah.
• 39:17
  Terron: Yeah.
• 39:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Same. What are the top three things that have happened so far today?
• 39:25
  Terron: I watched a mini sermon this morning. So I learned something from a mini sermon that really had to do with me, I love when sermons meet you.
• 39:30
  Terron: You're just kind of scrolling around. And then you're like, oh, my gosh, you're talking to me? Ah, I was happy that I was able to wake up early, like I said, Because I'm telling you, that's the new thing. I guess this is just more of a feeling.
• 39:43
  Terron: I'm just happy that I with the chaos outside of this door this morning this day. I'm not feeling any of that angst or Wait, isn't that that makes me feel good.
• 40:00
  Lisa Hopkins: That's amazing.
• 40:00
  Lisa Hopkins: And what's something that you're looking forward to?
• 40:04
  Terron: I'm really looking forward to. I'm excited for the expansion because I think it will be a leap. I don't think it'll be a step. I think if I can do some of these things and really pay attention, you know, in these in this year, or in this next few months or whatever. I'm excited to To see what had been, you know, doors are open sometimes we just don't go through and we think they're locked and I can't get through.
• 40:30
  Terron: What did you open a door? You know? And so I am, I'm really excited. I believe that there's something there for work that I have decided to do. I'm excited for that.
• 40:42
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, wonderful.
• 40:42
  Lisa Hopkins: It's been such a joy speaking with you today. I really mean it. for spending the time
• 40:48
  Terron: Thank you reaching out again. And it's it was perfect time. It's perfect timing. So great. Whoever, whoever's listening, I just hope that everybody feels that they can be heard, you know, in 2020 to try to find someone. So you won't keep that internal that so when we've had a great conversation, you and I, but if you're listening and you feel alone or whatever, find someone that will hear you. And it'll make you feel it'll make you feel better.
• 41:20
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. Yeah. I've been speaking today with Terron Brooks. Thanks for listening.
• 41:23
  Lisa Hopkins: Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment. In music stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison, supporting the soloists to express their individuality.
• 41:39
  Lisa Hopkins: In the moment, I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time, I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening